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Callahan
2005-02-28, 02:50 PM
I trust that the theme is obvious for this set. :-)

I have never been a fan of spectacularly powerful magical items and so this stuff is pretty low-power for the most part (except for the Tome... that one was a late addition and it just seemed so damned appropriate that I had to add it in).


The Arsenal of Mss’Age the Bard

Mss’Age the Bard was a bard who was fond of roaming the land, engaging in debates with any and all who would talk to him. Over the course of many years, Mss’Age learned that many people quickly descended into crudity and/or violence in their debates with him and so he crafted various items to assist him in his endless debates. It was often said the Mss’Age Bard’s discussions were pointless and frivolous, but often gems of wisdom were found within the discussions.

The Soggy Carp of Thwapping
Formed from a magically preserved soggy carp, this weapon performs as a +2 Merciful Sap (when used in combat. Upon striking with a successful critical hit, the carp bestows the effects of Owl’s Wisdom upon the target, lasting for 12 minutes (hopefully enabling the target to better reflect on why they have been Thwapped with a Carp). *Mss’Age would often use the Carp as his first means of attack should a debate turn hostile. More than one out of control debate was returned to civil discussion with the judicious application of the Soggy Carp.
Caster Level 12th; Prerequisites: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Cure Light Wounds, Owl’s Wisdom. Faint auras of conjuration and transmutation
Cost: 32301gp (16150gp materials cost, 1292XP to make)

Cloak of Quiet Lurking
By activating this plain brown cloak, the wearer can gain benefit from invisibility, as per the spell. In addition to any attack negating the effect of the invisibility, the effect is also negated by the wearer speaking. Mss’Age would often use the cloak to listen to others as they engaged in debate, revealing himself only when he chose to engage in the debate.
Faint illusion; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, invisibility, 18,000gp (9000gp materials cost, 720XP)

Ring of Meaning’s Discernment
This finely wrought gold ring is engraved with what seems like random scratches but what is revealed to be a complex pattern after careful study. The ring empowers the wearer to more accurately gauge what others are saying, particularly with regard to misdirection and lies. The ring grants a +5 competence bonus on Sense Motive checks.
Faint transmutation; CL 5th; Forge Ring, detect thoughts, creator must have 5 ranks in Sense Motive; Price 2,500gp (1250gp materials cost, 100XP)

Amulet of Flaming’s Resistance
This silver amulet is set with a blue stone of unidentified origin. Looking into the blue stone reveals a faint pattern that has the effect of slightly calming anyone that regards it. Rather than protection from physical flames, it lends the wearer additional willpower to avoid engaging in pointless and heated debate and/or physically attacking others as a result of their comments. It bestows a +3 bonus to WILL saves. Mss’Age credits this amulet with the considerable restraint he showed in debates during his later years.
Faint abjuration; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, resistance; Price 3000gp (1500gp materials cost, 120XP)

Tome of the Mighty Google
While his own scope of bardic knowledge was considerable, neither was it complete. Occasionally, even Mss’Age the Bard found his own knowledge to be lacking. He crafted the Tome after visiting the great library of Google, which lies far to the northwest and is run by a collective of crafty bards and sages. The user opens the book to the first index page and asks a question aloud. The tome will access the knowledge of the Great Library of Google, which is equivalent to a Bardic Knowledge check of +20, and if the Library contains the relevant information, the book will open to a page in the middle which will contain the knowledge. If the bardic knowledge check fails, the book will turn to page 404, which contains a simple message “Information not found.” The book is usable only once per day.
Strong divination; CL 13th; Craft Wondrous item, Legend Lore, caster must have the bardic knowledge special ability. Price 30,000gp (15,000gp materials cost, 1200XP and the creator must perform a quest for the Librarians of Google)

Callahan
2005-02-28, 02:58 PM
oh and any suggestions/comments are welcome, of course

although there's precious little time left before the deadline. ;)

mr.bob
2005-03-18, 12:56 PM
Hilarious :D.
Check out the sticky at the top, YOU WON! You got the funniest item award or something of the sort.

Callahan
2005-03-18, 01:09 PM
yeah thanks, I noticed that

still waiting for the custom title though... :/