The turkey is a little dry... [Spell]

[ExHunterEmerald]

TWISTWISH

Twistwish
Universal
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, XP
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: See text
Target, Effect, or Area: See text
Duration: See text
Saving Throw: None; see text
Spell Resistance: Yes

The twistwish spell is the creation of a particularly sadistic mage who grew tired of being asked to grant wishes by people unable to pay his fee.
It is as the spell lesser wish but for this: The wish is twisted by the words given. Attempting to cover the multiple meanings of the wish will cause the spell to fail.
For example, if you wish to bring a comrade back to life exactly as he was before he died, you would get him back. At -9 HP and about to die the next round.

Needs some work, but I figured a poor-man's wish might make things interesting.

[Eighth_Seraph]

...Is the normal wish spell not capable of doing this? I always though that whomever granted the wish chose the exact outcome. That's why we're polite to the nice djinni, yes indeed.

[NEO|Phyte]

*gives Em a cookie for the Simpsons reference*

[ExHunterEmerald]

...Is the normal wish spell not capable of doing this? I always though that whomever granted the wish chose the exact outcome. That's why we're polite to the nice djinni, yes indeed.

It is, but this spell is easier to access and has the cost of the meaning being twisted. And I thought wish and greater wish didn't specify how the wish was given. Divine power, making the cosmos your bitch...

Edit: Yay cookie :3

[Jarl]

See, this is what was great about 1st ed Greater Wish. It was basically this except no limits and the more you tried to cover the worse it got.

-In the end, it turns out the best way to make a wish is to just say "I wish *simlpe statement*" and throw yourself on the mercy of the DM.

[LordOfNarf]

*gives Em a cookie for the Simpsons reference*

Uhh, the monekey's paw was a story long before the Simpsons decided to make an episode about it.

[ExHunterEmerald]

Uhh, the monekey's paw was a story long before the Simpsons decided to make an episode about it.


The title was from Homer's last wish.
He wanted a turkey sandwich and tried to cover all the bases, and ended up with slightly dry turkey.

[LordOfNarf]

The title was from Homer's last wish.
He wanted a turkey sandwich and tried to cover all the bases, and ended up with slightly dry turkey.

Ah.... i remember that episode now, geez i watch the simpsons far, far too much....

[Collin152]

"... and no crazy suprises like a zombie turkey, or me turning into a turkey myself! And mayonaise."

[Abd al-Azrad]

Wait. So this spell is seriously just a 300 XP cost to make the DM come up with a sadistic method of torturing the players? Are you serious? This is the stupidest spell ever created!

I admit, it's a great way of getting Wishes that don't work before 13th level, but if they don't work, what the heck is the point? There's no way to adjudicate this spell in a reasonable way! The DM has to argue with the players over the XP cost and what it's worth, given the description of the spell, for every casting!

...and now I'm calmer. The fact is, the spell is obviously a joke, and in such a case it makes a good spell. However, it cannot work in any given game due to (a) its ambiguous nature, where the DM must constantly think of ways for the spell's intentions to fail, and (b) the fact that any caster who uses it automatically fails to gain his intended result, thus preventing any caster from ever casting the spell so long as they make a DC 21 spellcraft check to learn that the spell never works.

[ExHunterEmerald]

Well, I wasn't sure on the XP. Drop it?
And it doesn't always fail, it just tends to very, very much. If you can word it off the bat without an extra two minutes of "...and no sudden horrible mutations, or a propensity for shellfish, or..." then it'll work.

[firepup]

unless they are using it on the enemy... Bluff the BBEG into letting them live if they granted him a wish. then of course they'd use the spell.

[Closet_Skeleton]

Wish is like that anyway. It just has guidelines as to what you probably shouldn't punish players for.

Why would anyone ever cast this spell? It's like saying yes when someone offers to put a +5 sword in your heart because hey, you'll get a +5 sword.

The standard Wish spell is good because the players think that it will go the way they want it to. This spell is useless because they know it won't.

By the way, the spell is Limited Wish, not lesser wish and has been since at least AD&D. Odd that there's no lesser version of Miracle. Maybe miracles cannot be diluted or something. There's no Epic Wish spell in the Epic book either, which I found odd. Must be because unlike limited wish, wish has no limits and therefore you don't need a better version.