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View Full Version : 147/134, speach improvement? [PEACH]



Occasional Sage
2009-03-28, 10:26 PM
This isn't a big thing, but it's stuck in my craw: Parson's order in the last panel (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/erf0147.html) has been bothering me since I first read it. Not the order itself, but the delivery of it.

It is at odds with both his expression in the panel, and his curt tone in the preceding panel. Using "I want" and "try" softens his command and make little sense after he's just dehumanized his friends by denying them names. He looks angry, determined, and confident, so why sound wishy-washy?

I find an order like, "The three of you will uncroak the volcano and destroy the city" more in keeping with everything else around it. It's harsh, concise, and determined, all of which Parson has committed himself to in panel 11. Even a very small change like, "You will try..." carries more weight and conviction.

Thoughts? As I said in the title line, Please Evaluate And Comment Honestly.

memnarch
2009-03-28, 10:40 PM
Well, Parson didn't really know if that sort of thing was going to work, did he? I mean, a dead volcano is pretty dang big.

ishnar
2009-03-28, 11:32 PM
His most likely order to me seems to have something to do with breaking the link. Last time they broke the link the damage was not distributed evenly, so one caster was killed, one incapacitated, and one was left fine. Parson was probably going to order the damage to be distributed evenly, to give the best odds of everyone surviving, or for the thinkmancer to take all the damage on herself to atone for killing wanda.

But if he ordered that, then they might have been too damaged to heed, or act on his orders at a time when fast response matters the most. And there is no guarantee it would work either.

So basically, "I want you to" then he realizes that if he doesn't order it, he'll be ignored. So then he changes it to "I order you" then he decides that this really isn't the best time, so he says screw it.

Ellye
2009-03-29, 07:20 AM
His most likely order to me seems to have something to do with breaking the link. Last time they broke the link the damage was not distributed evenly, so one caster was killed, one incapacitated, and one was left fine. Parson was probably going to order the damage to be distributed evenly, to give the best odds of everyone surviving, or for the thinkmancer to take all the damage on herself to atone for killing wanda.

But if he ordered that, then they might have been too damaged to heed, or act on his orders at a time when fast response matters the most. And there is no guarantee it would work either.

So basically, "I want you to" then he realizes that if he doesn't order it, he'll be ignored. So then he changes it to "I order you" then he decides that this really isn't the best time, so he says screw it.He's talking about 147 (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/erf0147.html).

Godskook
2009-03-29, 05:53 PM
As I understood it, calling the casters by function instead of name was not because of ruthlessness or anything of that sort, but rather because Parson was using his words to set the stage for the trimancer setup. I don't really see it as dehumanizing*. I see it more as determination. He's treating them as if the already were linked, helping to establish his new resolve for that course of action.



*It would be if he chose to always refer to them that way, but consistency does change the meanings of words.

Nekomata
2009-03-30, 12:31 PM
Perhaps he was worried if he ordered them to "uncroak the volcano" and it turned out impossible, the tri-mancer link would "crash" forcing him to reboot (which would be dangerous), or they'd just die due to failing to fulfill their duty, or something like that.