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View Full Version : So today I got Part III of "The Talk..."



DrizztFan24
2009-04-15, 10:50 PM
So, today after school I decided that swinging by my dad's office (chiropractor) so I could deposit my paychecks seemed like a good idea. I did.:smallsmile: And I got some free breadsticks from work.:smallamused: And I bought a soda.:smallsmile: And then my dad proceeds to ask me if I knew that my date for prom this year was sexually active.(:smalleek:!!) I do...especially after her last story got spread all over town. Then he proceeds to tell me that he doesn't care if I have physical relations with this girl during prom, but I had better ----- well wear protection! And this is coming from the dad that also teaches a morning bible study course each morning in a religion that is totally against premarital sex! He said that because I am 18 now I can make my own decisions and that he has better things to worry about than my own actions. He did his job of raising me and now he doesn't have alot of time to teach me anything else. He even offered tips if I was interested! :smalleek:. I am not touching ANY girl before marriage with so much as a standard ten foot pole! I am NOT screwing up my life by getting some girl pregnant and sacrificng my education to pay for the child!:smallmad:.

After I related such feelings to him he said that I should take a co protection in case things change in the heat of the moment. What moment?! There will be no moments?! I am making sure of that! Is it just me or does taking the condom seem like you are giving yourself permission to have "physical contact?" I would think that no protection meant no shenanigans, apparently I am wrong. Very wrong indeed.:smallfrown:

I am not an easily surprised person but this conversation came out of nowhere and blew-me-a-freaking-way. Anyone else have sufficiantly embarrasing stories that are similar to help remove my own mental scarring? I am still trying to sort everything out and figure out what I want to write down and vent, so forgive me if I should write huge posts that have little relevance to any posts already in the thread.

Vizen
2009-04-15, 10:56 PM
Fortunately for me I never had the talk, I never needed it. By the time my dad casually said "Do we need to have the talk?" I was already well and truly dirty minded and just said "Nah. I know it all already".

Thank goodness for year 10 health class. Good times.

Starscream
2009-04-15, 11:02 PM
Fortunately I had seen enough sitcoms to know exactly how to respond, back when it was my talk-time.

"Sure dad, what do you want to know?"

Message received.

Lupy
2009-04-15, 11:04 PM
That's terrible! :smallfrown:

I would tell my dad how disappointed I was if I were you.

RabbitHoleLost
2009-04-15, 11:21 PM
I'm honestly very proud of your father. It takes some guts to speak to your child about sex, and its better, in my opinion, that he spoke to you about it (whatever your choice may be), than ignored it.
In my opinion, parents not talking to their children about safe sex is what leads to unwanted pregnancies and other such unplanned events.

And, no, its not bad to be safe (even if you don't intend to partake in any...activities). No protection=/=no shenanigans, no protection=unplanned pregnancy or STD. Atleast, you could take it and pass it off to a friend who many need it :smalltongue:

Felixaar
2009-04-15, 11:36 PM
Sweet Steve, there's a part three? I haven't even had "the talk" with my dad yet. We seem to have a mutual understanding that it'd be rather pointless, since I've managed to piece it together from American TV and Men's Room Walls.

Still got no idea how birds and bees are involved, though.

Though to be honest, I'm with RHL on this one, though I understand your annoyance and have to congratulate you on your convictions, them being the same as my own.

That being sad, any situation in which a father offers to give his son "tips" is just wrong.

Mauve Shirt
2009-04-15, 11:42 PM
I've never had any talk. My parents must assume I know from health classes and peers, and that I'm smart enough to wear protection. They're way to prudish to talk about it though. And I'm in no danger of needing a talk anytime soon.

Alleine
2009-04-15, 11:47 PM
I've managed to piece it together from American TV and Men's Room Walls.

Then I feel sorry for the first girl you decide to go the distance with. :smalltongue:

I'm not sure which source is worse. Or if one source IS worse than another.

Felixaar
2009-04-15, 11:51 PM
:smalltongue: I also read a book by John Marsden, but that's hardly as entertaining.

skywalker
2009-04-15, 11:51 PM
I had a similar talk with my similarly religious father. However, he said "Don't do it. If you do, make sure you wear one."

I can see the point of the people who are like "you should have one." I personally, was of a mind that having protection would make it more likely to get used (because of an innate fear of being pregnant). However, a time came where I very sorely wished I had heeded the "always have protection" mantra, because while I thought I was waiting til marriage... It didn't work out...:smallredface: And I was caught unawares, and wound up doing something unsafe.

So, I know where you're coming from. I had the same philosophy: "If I don't have it, I won't be tempted to use it." It worked well for me for a number of years. But you don't know when the philosophy is going to stop working, and I think that's a good enough reason to have one just in case. And, yes, of course, you can always hand it to your buddy who might need it.

Finally, no, having one is not giving yourself permission. It's more of an "in case I screw up" type of deal.

My two cents.

Occasional Sage
2009-04-15, 11:52 PM
I'm honestly very proud of your father. It takes some guts to speak to your child about sex, and its better, in my opinion, that he spoke to you about it (whatever your choice may be), than ignored it.
In my opinion, parents not talking to their children about safe sex is what leads to unwanted pregnancies and other such unplanned events.

And, no, its not bad to be safe (even if you don't intend to partake in any...activities). No protection=/=no shenanigans, no protection=unplanned pregnancy or STD. At least, you could take it and pass it off to a friend who many need it :smalltongue:

All of this. Exactly. Driz'zt Fan, listen to the Rabbit Hole, who is the Font of Wisdom(tm).

RabbitHoleLost
2009-04-15, 11:56 PM
All of this. Exactly. Driz'zt Fan, listen to the Rabbit Hole, who is the Font of Wisdom(tm).

This is going into my signature.
WEE

Syka
2009-04-16, 01:13 AM
Don't take it as an insult- it isn't one.

Personally, I think it is amazing that your dad took the precaution of talking with you. He recognized that even if it's against HIS personal beliefs it may not be against YOUR personal beliefs and that he'd rather you be safe than him stick his head in the sand. That speaks volumes about him and I applaud him for that.

No, I don't think having protection on hand makes you more likely to use it. I was waiting until certain circumstances were met (in a monogamous, long term relationship after my degree was secured, ie within 3 months of graduation from university). I had firm boundaries set, and the boundaries were at such a point where I knew I could stop. However, I ALWAYS made sure I had a condom with me when I knew I'd be alone with my boyfriend...I even did that when I was casually dating the last guy before my boyfriend (with whom I was not sexually active with). It was a precaution, not a free pass. I knew I wouldn't change my mind as to what I was waiting for, but I also didn't want to be caught unprepared.

If you are going to wait, you'll wait whether or not you have protection on hand. For instance, I've also been on hormonal birth control for 6 years for cramps and I STILL waited because I didn't want to risk a kid interfering with school. Even my DOCTOR told me it was silly if that was a reason for me waiting, but that .001% chance was enough for me to want to put it off. But don't think not having protection will necessarily keep someone from fooling around.

No particularly scarring moments here. My mom's been pretty open about stuff and while we don't discuss details she knew when I became active and my discussions with her prior to that we pretty vital in helping me set up my requirements. It's only helped out relationships.

(For the record, I used to be waiting for marriage. I changed it to being with some I loved and was comfortable with and there are no regrets.)

Kara Kuro
2009-04-16, 01:17 AM
Ah, congratulations on your newest dose of familial sex-topic embarrassment. I seemed to avoid most of the conversations with my family, mostly because my parents never really had a specific, singular conversation. I think it has to do with the fact that both of my parents are first-generation europeans, and the mind-set is slightly different than the typical american parents (at least in my experience).

Odd/awkward situations like this tend to come up with friends parent's more often than mine. Such as in the following:

My best friend is gay, and I introduced him to his current boyfriend (another friend of mine) of about five years. Needless to say I'm pretty close to both of them. At one point, while dinning at the boyfriend's parent's place, they up and asked me to be the surrogate mother of my friends' child once they settled down together and wanted to start a family. I'm pretty sure they were joking.... But it was awkwardly hilarious at the same time (I think I may have snorted mashed potatoes into my nasal passages). Plus I felt pretty damn good about myself for a while considering while the three of us were laughing hysterically , his parent's were going on about why I had the best genes for their grandchildren. Yes, flattering, but in a very, very weird way.

Ninja Chocobo
2009-04-16, 01:38 AM
Sweet Steve, there's a part three? I haven't even had "the talk" with my dad yet. We seem to have a mutual understanding that it'd be rather pointless, since I've managed to piece it together from American TV and Men's Room Walls.

I think part one is "Here's what to do", part two is "Don't do it", and part three is "If you do do it, use protection."

I never got a talk; my father avoided the subject completely, and my mother asked "You're learning that at school, right?" which I was.
Seriously, I got four sets of sex education at school. One in year four, and then one in each years 8-10. And I had 8-10 at the same school.

Kjata
2009-04-16, 02:06 AM
That's terrible! :smallfrown:

I would tell my dad how disappointed I was if I were you.

Honestly, if I told my son i didn't care if he had "relations" with a girl, and offered him tips, I would be disappointed in HIM if he said "no thanks, no shenanigans for me!"

No offense OP, you gave good reasons, I suppose :smalltongue:

Totally Guy
2009-04-16, 02:13 AM
What are your prom date's opinion on the subject?

If your expectations are very different there may be a fundamental incompatibility between the two attitudes.

Berserk Monk
2009-04-16, 02:31 AM
I am not touching ANY girl before marriage with so much as a standard ten foot pole! I am NOT screwing up my life by getting some girl pregnant and sacrificng my education to pay for the child!:smallmad:...
I am not an easily surprised person but this conversation came out of nowhere and blew-me-a-freaking-way. Anyone else have sufficiantly embarrasing stories that are similar to help remove my own mental scarring? I am still trying to sort everything out and figure out what I want to write down and vent, so forgive me if I should write huge posts that have little relevance to any posts already in the thread.

First off, sex does not equal pregnancy. It's a little paranoid to deny yourself something based on the one in a million chance. But then again, I don't feel like being devil's advocate and tell what you're potentially missing out in, but just don't set these rules in stone. You wanna have fun, and you're both ready, well, take out the sword, attack her fortification, and get some treasure type O. Just make sure you have a protection spell cast. Oh, and to quote the god of a man who gave the world Watchmen and V for Vendetta:

"Sexually progressive cultures gave us mathematics, literature, philosophy, civilization and the rest, while sexually restrictive cultures gave us the Dark Ages and the Holocaust. Not that Im trying to load my argument, of course."

Second, no one every is ready to hear from one of the people who had a hand in their creation talk about sex. At your fifth birthday your mother/father could say to you "Remember this second: in exactly ten years to the hour from now, I'm gonna tell you about how you were created and all the acts associated with it the church shuns," and come that day age fifteen the talk will still hit you like a ton of bricks.

Thanatos 51-50
2009-04-16, 02:49 AM
There were medical reasons why my parents decided to not reproduce again, mostly realting to the genetic dice they were throwing every time a child was concieved.
A good examplew ould be my little brother, who caught a load of bad luck when aforementioned dice fell.
As a result, there were condoms in the house, and, as soon as my brothers and I were around puberty, they were kept in plain view.

My parents openly aknowledge sex, and my 'talks' consisted of

"Do you use a condom?"
"I'm not active, but if that changes, I know where they're kept, where they're sold and approximate prices."
"Good boy."

That being pretty much the total of what my parents told me on the subject.

This is so you understand where I'm coming from when I say:
You're eighteen? What took the man so long?

No condom far from equals no shenanagins. No condom + Shenanagins is where babies come from. Taking one is not giving yourself permission, any more than a security guard wearing kevlar is giving an intruder permission to shoot him.
Seriously, man. Condoms are a Good Idea (tm).

Don Julio Anejo
2009-04-16, 03:24 AM
Could be worse. I got the talk from my mom...
I got out of it pretty easily though.

"Okay mom. So you want to talk about sex? Okay. What do you want to know?"

Khanderas
2009-04-16, 03:28 AM
That's terrible! :smallfrown:

I would tell my dad how disappointed I was if I were you.
I keep trying to find a hidden text along the line "just kidding", just can't find it.

Seriously, as mentioned, Bonus points (tm) to your dad for recognising that his values may not necesary be your values, that sex can happen, recognising you as a self-willed adult and caring enough to take an akward moment to be sure you do it safely if you do it.

As there is problebly no way to do the talk without some sort of shock value, due to the parent-child relation, yours seems to be on the better side.
I am frankly taking mental notes on how I would go about it when/if I get a kid.


No condom far from equals no shenanagins. No condom + Shenanagins is where babies come from. Taking one is not giving yourself permission, any more than a security guard wearing kevlar is giving an intruder permission to shoot him.
Seriously, man. Condoms are a Good Idea (tm).
Heh, so true. Babies don't come from protected sex, generally they come from unprotected sex.

Don Julio Anejo
2009-04-16, 03:51 AM
I probably shouldn't be mentioning it on this forum and all, but babies don't really come from unprotected sex either, if you get my drift (I think a wink smiley would be appropriate here).

So... by refusing sex before marriage you're denying yourself a lot of fun and possibly limiting yourself very much when it comes to relationships.

potatocubed
2009-04-16, 05:01 AM
First of all, all kudos to your Dad. Well handled, that man.

I have a more mortifying story involving parents and sex (and an even worse one involving flatmates and sex) but... they're not really PG-13. :smalltongue:


I am NOT screwing up my life by getting some girl pregnant and sacrificng my education to pay for the child!:smallmad:.

This is a good outlook to have. Doesn't mean you have to avoid sex, but that's your choice to make. (I recommend as much sex as possible, personally, but everyone's different...)

Leaving aside an extended diatribe on the woeful nature of sex education across the pond, look at condom-carrying in terms of game theory.

Quick and Dirty Game Theory Primer for the Uninitiated
Basically, game theory assesses all choices in terms of probability and the magnitude of goodness or badness that can result. For example, you can choose whether or not to flip a coin. If you don't flip it, you get $1. If you flip it and get heads, you get $10. If you flip it and get tails, you lose $5.

The expected return of not flipping the coin is $1. ("Well, duh," I hear you say.)

The expected return of flipping the coin and getting heads is equal to the value ($10) multiplied by the probability (50% or 0.5), giving $5. Likewise for the return of getting tails (-$5 x 0.5), giving -$2.50.

The expected return of flipping the coin regardless of whether it comes down heads or tails is the sum of these values (which also works out as the mean average of all expected outcomes). That's $2.50. So you should flip the coin.

The end result is that the decision of whether or not to flip the coin is affected both by the chance of a positive (or negative) outcome and just how positive (or negative) that outcome can be.

Assume for the sake of argument that taking a condon does increase the likelihood of shagging. Taking a condom also sharply reduces the possible bad consequences of shagging from 'pregnancy, STD, etc.' to 'bad sex'. The question you should be asking yourself is "Will carrying a condom weaken my will (increase the probability of sex) to the extent that the expected negative consequences of protected sex are greater than the expected negative consequences of unprotected sex?"

I say the answer is no. You may disagree.

Totally Guy
2009-04-16, 06:22 AM
You can also use game theory to determine what is a good strategy based on the perception of your population pool.

We guys generally have 2 options: Faithful and Philanderer.
The faithful intend to commit themselves to one woman to love and settle down with indefinitely.
The philanderers want sex with many partners.

Gals options are different: Fast and Coy.
The fast tend to fulfill immediate needs and wants, relationships should be fun and fulfilling.
The coy plan out the future and tend to be more reserved, they screen potential partners with secret tests.

So what's the best?

When the guys are Philanderers the Coy girls tend to do best as they can search out the Faithful minority. The girls learn to be more Coy.
When the girls are Coy the Faithful do best as they can pass the screening process. To get anything at all the Philanderers have to become more Faithful.
When the guys are faithful the fast girls tend to win as they have first pick at the elegible dating pool. So the girls tend to become Fast.
Well when most girls are Fast the Philanderer wins because he can get what he wants with little effort at the cost of the Faithful. The guys tend to become Philanderers here.

So it's a full circle.

The Rose Dragon
2009-04-16, 06:43 AM
Usually, male breeding urges prefer "philanderers" while female breeding urges prefer "coyness". That's because men can impregnate many women at a time but a woman has to wait a full year between two times of impregnation.

Johnny Blade
2009-04-16, 06:45 AM
I am NOT screwing up my life by getting some girl pregnant and sacrificng my education to pay for the child!:smallmad:.
I think that may be why your dad told you about that protection thing.

Serpentine
2009-04-16, 06:53 AM
Thank goodness for year 10 health class. Good times.Syphillis, an overview of contraception, condoms, more condoms, more syphillis, some other STDs, condoms and syphillis was about the extent of my sex ed. Also a documentary about an island where an oddly large number of girls turn out to be boys around puberty.
:smalltongue: I also read a book by John Marsden, but that's hardly as entertaining.Oh? Which one?
"Sexually progressive cultures gave us mathematics, literature, philosophy, civilization and the rest, while sexually restrictive cultures gave us the Dark Ages and the Holocaust. Not that Im trying to load my argument, of course."I really, really like this quote. In fact, I think I'm in love. I'm considering eloping and having its babies. But guys, it's not our place to criticise anyone else's goals.
That said, I'm with all the people who applauded that man. Aside from how mortifying it would've been to give the speech, you hear far too many stories of people who grow up in... households that are restrictive in this area being dismally ill-informed in carnel matters and either embarassing themselves when they manage to wait 'til marriage or having to deal with the disastrous consequences of their ignorance when they don't. I know most such stories are all hearsay, but still. It's nice to hear a story to the contrary.

My sex education... It started with a book called Where Did I Come From?. After that, I just picked things up here and there. Like that porn comic I found in dad's bookshelf in grade 4.
I think I had a conversation with my mother in which she expressed her opinion that it's good to have your first time with someone for whom it's their first time, too, but I have no idea how we got onto that topic. I know my boyfriend at that time once had the following passing conversation with his mother:
"You use a condom, right?"
"YeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEES![/"duh" tone]"
That's about it, really. I feel left out...

No, wait, there's Joy of Sex, that both my parents own but that my mum says is a terrible book.

Dispozition
2009-04-16, 06:54 AM
I've never really had the talk...A few times I've asked my mum about various things and she was happy to talk about them, but I've never had a 'now son, I think it's about time we had a talk about blah blah blahblah'

Crixon
2009-04-16, 08:07 AM
Ive had a talk a couple of times, mom cornered me, well .. we were driving out to the barn actually ... so i really had nowhere to go, the funny thing is is she hates talk about sex, its good to know she cares enough to actually mention it, even though myself i would never have sex anyway.

DrizztFan24
2009-04-16, 09:47 AM
What are your prom date's opinion on the subject?



Realistically she would be all for it, which scares the living crap out of me. She is extremely active. I get alot of flack about it at school because I'm the "good Mormon boy" and the past two years my original dates ahve cancelled at the last moment and they only folks that I know well enough to ask have the reputation of being the school bicycles.



First off, sex does not equal pregnancy. It's a little paranoid to deny yourself something based on the one in a million chance
You're right; sex does not equal pregnancy. But there is a very good chance. And a three minute search on google has informed me of a 3% chance for pregnancy even with a condom and a 14-15% chance of condom breakage/failure/manufacturing flaw. That sounds like a h---- of alot mroe than one in a million.

P.S. preganncy without a condom rate is about 25%



This is so you understand where I'm coming from when I say:
You're eighteen? What took the man so long?

I've already had the talks about sex and contraception. But having him say he doesn't care whether or not I have sex with my prom date was super unexpected and really freaky. Otherwise we had the regualr talks before they were even offered at the school.



This is a good outlook to have. Doesn't mean you have to avoid sex, but that's your choice to make.

I figure the risk is not worth the gain.

Chance of pregnancy is about 3%. Enjoyment for sex is valued at???? how much for a prostitute? $100 U.S.? Cost of child payments roughly $700 U.S. per month for 20 years (so says father). Or I have fun at the post prom party for free with free foods, friends, and other clean shananigans.

So Free fun with no payments vs. 700*12*20+100 dollars*3%+

Would that be proper game theory application? I'm not entirely sure how to work the math but I think the point is still delivered clearly enough.

@Jhonny Blade
See above chances

Dallas-Dakota
2009-04-16, 10:30 AM
Ask if your girlfriend takes the pill, if you think wearing a condom isnt enough protection.

Serpentine
2009-04-16, 10:38 AM
Also the Implanon injection offers better protection than even surgical sterilisation.
However! While I don't agree with his position (and it seems to be a pretty mercenary justification for it, there :smallconfused:), come on guys. Can you imagine if he had started having a go at you for your sexual habits? You'd be outraged!

DrizztFan24
2009-04-16, 11:35 AM
Ask if your girlfriend takes the pill, if you think wearing a condom isnt enough protection.

She isn't my girlfriend though. That's why this is really freaking me out. My original date/girlfriend thing cancelled less than two weeks before prom and this is just a girl from work and school. We have eno romantic relations at all!

Wolfbane
2009-04-16, 11:40 AM
I never had "The Talk". My parents figured that I would do things the smart way if I had cause to.

And I will.

Katrascythe
2009-04-16, 11:55 AM
I never had "The Talk". My parents figured that I would do things the smart way if I had cause to.

And I will.

I got a very short version. Then my mother and myself lost our tempers and it was never spoken of again. All I learned about sex I learned from books... and all the pregnant girls at my school who learned their lesson the hard way.

Syka
2009-04-16, 12:01 PM
Hormonal birth control (the Pill) reduces pregancy chances to about .01% with perfect use and 2% with normal use. Other hormonal methods (and non hormonal) such as IUD's, implant, and the shot confer .01% chance if I'm not mistaken. Even surgical sterilization (tubes tied) is not foolproof, although a hysterectomy is ('cause, well, the uterus is gone and without a uterus one can not harbor the parasite).

Basically, with two forms of BC, say the Pill and condoms, pregnancy chances are astronomic. Don't get me wrong, I support you waiting- I waited until I knew I could handle a kid. But don't just say flat out no touching girls in a sexual manner at ALL before marriage 'cause it'll lead to sex which'll lead to babehs.


That said if there is no romantic inclination between you and your prom date AND you have a girlfriend who is not said prom date, chances are you won't be in a situation to do anything period.

And...why are you going out with these girls if you apparently are so disgusted by their sexual choices? Because they were the only ones available? How sweet. :smallconfused:

Sneak
2009-04-16, 12:10 PM
I never got "the talk" either. I think I figured it most of it out, though. :smalltongue:

I get that it was probably a bit (or more than that, perhaps) awkward having that conversation with your dad, but personally, I think it was a GOOD thing that he decided to have that talk with you.

Firstly, your dad seems like he's being surprisingly cool in this situation, especially considering his religious concerns with the topic at hand. You should be grateful that you have a dad like that.

Secondly, the fact that you are so freaked out by this discussion really makes it seem to me that such a talk actually is necessary.

Because the fact is, you should be prepared and mature about the situation. Yes, you don't expect to get physical with a girl and you don't think you will, but will being prepared actually hurt anything? How?

My point is...there's no harm done, and the possible benefits are great.

Additionally, the whole "in the heat of the moment" thing is a good argument. Yes, you always think that your self-discipline will hold out, but how will you actually know until the situation arises?

And I also understand that you don't really know this girl very well, so you really don't expect to do anything requiring a condom with her. But I think your dad isn't really trying to say that protection will necessarily be needed in this particular situation. He's just trying to introduce the topic to you to make sure that you will be ready if/when it does come up. (No pun intended. :smalltongue:)

I may be wrong, though. I'm only 15...not exactly an expert. :smalltongue:

truemane
2009-04-16, 12:25 PM
My older son is almost prom-date-age. And we've had versions of the sex talk about a dozen times over the years. Same with the drugs talk and the alcohol talk. He hates it when I start a new talk. I'm not really fond of them either, but it's important that he and I discuss these matters every now again.

He's not the same guy he was when he was ten. Or twelve. Or even sixteen. And being a whole new person, I need to know that he's got his facts straight and it makes me happy to know where he stands on these issues.

Also, as they get older you can slowly start to relax a bit on your pronouncements. When he was twelve ALL DRUGS WERE BAD AND YOU'LL GET HOOKED AND WIND UP IN THE GUTTER ALONE AND UNLOVED. But now, at a reasonably reasonable 17, I can safely tell him that sparking a spliff up every now and again isn't that big a deal and you just have to watch yourself. Same with drinking. Same with sex.

The more truthful I am about these things, the more he believes me when I say to stay away from harder drugs, unprotected sex, don't drink and drive, don't drive with someone who's drunk, call me instead even if YOU'RE drunk and I won't get mad, etc etc.

When you deal in absolutes you generate an environment where your children don't feel safe asking for help in out of a grey area.

So, you need to know that your father is doing a good thing. And a normal thing. And while you might not agree with him, being open with you is the best way to keep you safe and healthy.

And on a side note, if carrying a condom makes you break your principles, then they weren't really your principles in the first place. Until you've been in a situation, you can't know how you'll react, and the human body has a wonderful way of insisting that its needs are more important than your ethics. Try being kosher if you're starving.

So reasonable precautions first, morals second.

Serpentine
2009-04-16, 12:29 PM
I'd copy-paste the whole thing over here, but it's in table form. In any case, for the sake of argument, here's a comparison of the effectiveness of different birth controls. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods) What I'd really like to see on that table, though, is no contraception at all. I'm sure that wasn't there before...
If women got pregnant even half the time they had sex, Earth's present human overpopulation would be worse by a magnitude of magnitudes. Even without birth control, humans are relatively infertile. Some couples actively trying to get pregnant take years to do so.
Hm... D'you think pregnancy could be considered contagious, with men as the carriers?

snoopy13a
2009-04-16, 12:52 PM
I don't know about everyone else but my method of birth control resulted from years of tantric study. Basically, I can orgasm without ejactulating :smallsmile:

Ok, so I got that from a movie :smallbiggrin:

Free cookie to who guesses the movie

Katrascythe
2009-04-16, 01:08 PM
I like that chart, it's a good way to compare and contrast different methods of birth control. It's a chart that they should show people in schools... oh wait! they don't do that in this state... >_<

I second the idea of pregnancy as a contagion. It does seem that men tend to spread it an awful lot. I wonder if there's a way to eradicate the disease.... I'm horrible, I know. Sorry :)

Occasional Sage
2009-04-16, 01:15 PM
Hm... D'you think pregnancy could be considered contagious, with men as the carriers?


Only if you want to classify a fetus as a parasite. While technically there is more than a little reasonableness to that, as an impending father I'm not sure that the (vast) humor value outweighs the horribleness. I'll keep making the joke until I figure it out, though ;)



I second the idea of pregnancy as a contagion. It does seem that men tend to spread it an awful lot. I wonder if there's a way to eradicate the disease.... I'm horrible, I know. Sorry :)

You're really OK with suggesting that women have no control over what they do, and are simply hapless pawns of men? You can't absolve half of the involved people of responsibility without being blatantly disingenuous or outright hypocritical!

The Rose Dragon
2009-04-16, 01:21 PM
Only if you want to classify a fetus as a parasite. While technically there is more than a little reasonableness to that, as an impending father I'm not sure that the (vast) humor value outweighs the horribleness. I'll keep making the joke until I figure it out, though ;)

I classify anyone without a job (including myself) as a parasite. So, yes, the fetus is also one.

Katrascythe
2009-04-16, 01:24 PM
Only if you want to classify a fetus as a parasite. While technically there is more than a little reasonableness to that, as an impending father I'm not sure that the (vast) humor value outweighs the horribleness.

I'm not exactly a huge fan of children. I was around them in my school when their mothers came to show them off. They tore around the cafeteria yelling and screaming and even now I often see children as little hellions as they run all over the place without being controlled.

I know, I was a kid once... I also got my butt smacked if I were being bad, particularly out in public. It left me a bit strict.


You're really OK with suggesting that women have no control over what they do, and are simply hapless pawns of men? You can't absolve half of the involved people of responsibility without being blatantly disingenuous or outright hypocritical!

O.o I think you misunderstand me, sir, through no fault of your own. I absolve nobody from the responsibility. After all, someone has to be pregnant for nine months. If I really want to point fingers I point them at parents who are too afraid to talk to their kids or ensure that they're intelligent about decision making. There are people in my college that are completely oblivious, still. The world doesn't teach people anything unless you find out the hard way or know what to look for.

DrizztFan24
2009-04-16, 01:31 PM
And...why are you going out with these girls if you apparently are so disgusted by their sexual choices? Because they were the only ones available? How sweet. :smallconfused:

Where did you figure I was steadily dating the prom date? The girlfriend and I have had a falling apart and there isn't much left anymore. And I am not disguted with their choices. One is the same as I and says no sex until marriage and the other one decides to have sex. It's her choice. It doesn't bug me that she has sex; just that my dad opened my eyes to the possibility that I might lose control and forsake everything I have held dear for my (short) life.:smallfrown:

And the current prom date was a last minute choice, but we had discussed it even while I did have a tenative date. The original girl kept stringing me out and avoided telling me that she can not go.

EDIT:


But don't just say flat out no touching girls in a sexual manner at ALL before marriage 'cause it'll lead to sex which'll lead to babehs

Por Que?
Why? To my rather inexperienced psyche it seems like a rather safe way to prevent events from getting out of hand. As pointed out earlier, humans have instinct and base needs and primal urges that can take over. I don't want to have that happen.

Syka
2009-04-16, 01:34 PM
I do call fetus' parasites, actually, and they fit the definition too. My A&P teacher also called them that. lol.

Occasional Sage
2009-04-16, 02:03 PM
I'm not exactly a huge fan of children. I was around them in my school when their mothers came to show them off. They tore around the cafeteria yelling and screaming and even now I often see children as little hellions as they run all over the place without being controlled.

I know, I was a kid once... I also got my butt smacked if I were being bad, particularly out in public. It left me a bit strict.

I absolve nobody from the responsibility... If I really want to point fingers I point them at parents who are too afraid to talk to their kids or ensure that they're intelligent about decision making.

So it's not children you dislike, so much as bad parents? Kids (at least, those with good parents!) are a joy IMHO. The others... make me want to velcro-line a closet and give the brats a nice new vest to match. :smallamused: My wife frowns when I call the bad ones "screaming meatbags".

Cristo Meyers
2009-04-16, 02:24 PM
So it's not children you dislike, so much as bad parents? Kids (at least, those with good parents!) are a joy IMHO. The others... make me want to velcro-line a closet and give the brats a nice new vest to match. :smallamused: My wife frowns when I call the bad ones "screaming meatbags".

Other people's kids: the best form of birth control ever.

Katrascythe
2009-04-16, 02:31 PM
So it's not children you dislike, so much as bad parents? Kids (at least, those with good parents!) are a joy IMHO. The others... make me want to velcro-line a closet and give the brats a nice new vest to match. :smallamused: My wife frowns when I call the bad ones "screaming meatbags".

Yeah, pretty much. The kids which are a direct result are subject to my wrath by proxy. I figure a good swat on the rear would serve a lot of them well. Plus, it never hurt anyone to be told "no" every once in a while. I tend to stop around duct taping them to a chair, though. ;) I get pretty funny looks when I liken a large group of screaming demons to a tyranid fleet.

valadil
2009-04-16, 02:37 PM
I had a very special The Talk with my dad when he found out I was going to a bachelor party. I'd had the biological talk ages ago, but was in college at this point so he decided to give me some practical advice:

"If they have a stripper, use a rubber."

I have to admit I was kind of offended that he assumed that a) I didn't know enough to use a condom and b) that I'd hook up with a stripper at all.

Anyway, bringing a condom does not mean you've decided to touch her. It just means you're prepared if you somehow lose control, maybe in the heat of the moment, maybe due to drinking. You don't want to be in a situation where you regret not having one with you.

Don Julio Anejo
2009-04-16, 02:53 PM
I would like to point out to your inexperienced psyche that the only safe way to prevent things from getting "out of hand" so to speak would be to not bring your ding dong.

Totally Guy
2009-04-16, 05:15 PM
Where did you figure I was steadily dating the prom date?

The word date, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

A date is someone you are dating.

And contraception's effects on having a baby? Inconceivable!:smalltongue:

Katrascythe
2009-04-16, 05:58 PM
The word date, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

A date is someone you are dating.

I think I know what he means. He went out on a date with her, but there's a certain lack of emotional attachment that goes along with steadily dating someone. So while they went out on a date, they aren't dating.

snoopy13a
2009-04-16, 07:07 PM
"If they have a stripper, use a rubber."

I have to admit I was kind of offended that he assumed that a) I didn't know enough to use a condom and b) that I'd hook up with a stripper at all.


That scenario would call for double bagging*.

*Actually double bagging is supposely counterproductive as the friction between the two condoms can cause breakage.

I love not taking this thread seriously.

Occasional Sage
2009-04-16, 07:15 PM
That scenario would call for double bagging.


I think bagging two strippers would be even more upsetting to his dad than one. :smallwink:

Gwyn chan 'r Gwyll
2009-04-16, 09:25 PM
Bring a condom. Really. And then don't tell your date that you have a condom. Then the chances of her making advances are less. If she does make an advance, then you are probably going to either A) go along with it or B) not, and having a condom isn't really going to affect that. It's spur-of-the-moment, brainless decision. At that moment, you're thinking with your dong. And then, if you chose A), whip out the condom.

zeratul
2009-04-16, 09:47 PM
The word date, you keep using it. I do not think it means what you think it means.

A date is someone you are dating.

And contraception's effects on having a baby? Inconceivable!:smalltongue:

Not necessarily. You can go on a date with someone with out them being the person you are dating. So he can go to the prom with someone who is hist date at that event but he's not necessarily dating them or emotionally attached to them.

blackfox
2009-04-16, 10:01 PM
In other (derailing) news, I got the Talk when I came home from fourth grade and asked my mother what the F-word meant.

...:smalleek:

Collin152
2009-04-16, 10:30 PM
I've never heard a word of it from my parents. No need for it, neither. Which is to say, they could only say awkward things, things I already know, or things i have no need to ever, ever know. Anythign that'd be nice to know? I might be able to get if I were the son of one of my friend's father. No such luck, though, so I'll have to play life by ear/learn from those who have walked such paths et cetera...
But hey, no chance of accidentally spawning a life sucking little runt in any event.

Lupy
2009-04-16, 11:05 PM
Jeeze, go off on my incredibly well thought out 13 year old viewpoint why dontcha? :smalltongue:

I got the talk part I when I was 6...

Of course I didn't get it until I was about 10, but hey, my dad never had to say anything again.

Faceist
2009-04-16, 11:06 PM
Fortunately for me I never had the talk, I never needed it. By the time my dad casually said "Do we need to have the talk?" I was already well and truly dirty minded and just said "Nah. I know it all already"
Same here, 'cept it was my mother. She tried to exchange Hilarious Sexual Misadventures when she found out, too.

Jlly
2009-04-16, 11:23 PM
Haha...my dad gave me the talk when he was really drunk. He encouraged me and my brother to go out and sleep with as many women as we could. He got extremely sexist and was making some ridiculous jokes. Of course...me and my brother already knew about sex by the time this happened. :smalltongue:

He then went on about white people taking our indian land and how we have to fight to get it back. I don't even think we're native american... :smallamused:

Alleine
2009-04-16, 11:26 PM
Yeah, never got The Talk. Parents never tried it, or even mentioned it I think. Yet somehow I became all sorts of knowledgeable about it. Beats the heck out of me.

Serpentine
2009-04-17, 12:56 AM
Por Que?
Why? To my rather inexperienced psyche it seems like a rather safe way to prevent events from getting out of hand. As pointed out earlier, humans have instinct and base needs and primal urges that can take over. I don't want to have that happen.Babies are created when a boy puts his naked P in a girl's unprotected V, not when the boy puts his H on her B, B, H, W, B or anywhere else on her S*. You can actually do a lot with a girl and 1. not actually have sex, thus preserving your "no sex before marriage" principles, and 2. have little-to-no (depending on the activity) risk of pregnancy or contagion. Incidentally, some of these activities could still use a condom, for purposes other than contraception.


*Hand, Bum, Boob, Hip, Waist, Back, Skin.

Boo
2009-04-17, 01:09 AM
Y'know, it's conversations like these that make me wish I wore a condom... now I have twenty children all across Canada. *kidding*

My 'talk' was one little phrase from my dad. "No glove, no love."

Totally Guy
2009-04-17, 01:13 AM
I'm fed up with writing jokes only to have people think I'm being serious.

Coidzor
2009-04-17, 01:26 AM
I do...especially after her last story got spread all over town.

...You're going with the village bicycle to prom? :smallconfused: How small of a town do you live in?

... I'm starting to feel bad since I never got a talk. The closest that came up was when something came up and I said I knew humans had to have sex since they were mammals and I had some idea that I had external genitalia and had been taking Biology, and he got real silent and awkward when I commented that I hadn't quite figured out how humans fit together yet, since we're bipedal. :smallredface:

And then I just ended up stealing a condom :smallfrown: from my older bro for my first time since I knew he had 'em since he kept 'em with his porn and he put his porn away in front of me once. That and I knew he had them after walking in on him and his girlfriend once. That was awkward. But not as awkward as it probably was for him.

I learned everything I know about sex from porn and how-to manuals on oral I found that my brothers were downloading through kaZaA or whatever it was back in the day. :smallannoyed: Well, aside from a bit of specifics about STDs, those I learned from the annoying slides... Well, and actual names of all of the tubes and wires, those I learned from being the only guy in health class to open up the health text book. Actually, I'm kinda surprised how informative the health textbook was at my christian middle school. I guess they didn't bother opening it either! :smalltongue:

V: What's even more embarrassing is when it's through both sets of underwear.

The Rose Dragon
2009-04-17, 02:40 AM
Babies are created when a boy puts his naked P in a girl's unprotected V

Or even his P behind underwear around a girl's V.

Seriously, it happens.

Occasional Sage
2009-04-17, 02:57 AM
I'm fed up with writing jokes only to have people think I'm being serious.

Someone was just saying to me a couple days ago that we need a new set of markers for English to show changes to meaning that voice tone normally conveys, like sarcasm. Frankly I found the Princess Bride reference hilarious; for those who don't recognize it though, there oughta be something other than a smiley.

Totally Guy
2009-04-17, 04:11 AM
when the boy puts his H on her B, B, H, W, B or anywhere else on her S*. *Hand, Bum, Boob, Hip, Waist, Back, Skin.

I always find that I get a little jealous at this point. Although I too have hips back and skin when a girl offers boobs and I feel like I have no body part of an appropriate level to return on the same level of intimacy.

Same thing for topless beachs, I feel like I'm not making a contribution to the situation.

golentan
2009-04-17, 04:51 AM
I don't know. His statements seemed reasonable to me. You have to worry about protection even if you (like me) intend never to "do the deed." Chastity vows are well and good, but also know what you're doing. Studies done by the Department of Health and Human Services say that making such a decision "Does not significantly reduce likelihood of sexual behavior, and correlates with significant decreased use of protection and safer sex practices."

In short: You are smart. You are responsible. And you know how much you want to do something.

Your nethers are stupid. They are irresponsible. And they don't care what you want. Plus at 18 they are probably pretty loud.

So be smart, make your decision and stick with it. And I WOULD advise carrying some protection so that IF things go horribly wrong (I don't know, someone spikes your drink for example), the next morning when you wake up and go:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1ZKIESoXB4E/Rxy5VDH18jI/AAAAAAAADxQ/-j8JCYRzSJs/s400/vlcsnap-8575900-788969.jpg
it will just be an "Oh CR************* on a *****, I broke my promise to myself" and not include the words "Venereal" or "Spawn."

It's not necessarily giving yourself permission. It's plan for the best while preparing for the worst. But if you feel you can't cope with the disparity by all means do what you think is best. Good luck, and happy prom.

Coidzor
2009-04-17, 05:06 AM
OP: The better thing is to be the friend who remembers to bring protection to be the slap upside the head to those who were more foolhardy in order to save them from being overtly suicidal. That's always fun. :smallamused:

Though the one time I didn't bring any in my bag due to being at a summer camp away from my g/f, I ended up being hit up at the last minute, after the one store which sold 'em in town, by 3 guys and 2 girls. I was so ashamed that I couldn't do more than apologize. ...I'm still not sure why I was asked if I had any though by so many people...:smallconfused: Maybe I haven't been living life right? Who knows...


I always find that I get a little jealous at this point. Although I too have hips back and skin when a girl offers boobs and I feel like I have no body part of an appropriate level to return on the same level of intimacy.

Same thing for topless beachs, I feel like I'm not making a contribution to the situation.

Well... All mammals have mammaries... Except for those ones which are still sweat glands instead of proper mammary glands. I think I'm getting my anatomical terms correct here.

As for the beaches, unfortunately, that takes being in better than fit shape to even begin to contribute and even then, who knows....

thubby
2009-04-17, 05:07 AM
i never got "the talk" from my parents. my father tried, realized how horrendously uncomfortable i (and i think he) was, and my mother bought me a book. i learned nothing i didn't already know.

as to protection, take it. the future is unpredictable, plan on your plans going horribly wrong right *rolls eyes*

if you want to contribute on a topless beach, wear a speedo (or do the world a favor and don't, if you can't pull it off)

evisiron
2009-04-17, 06:25 AM
And contraception's effects on having a baby? Inconceivable!:smalltongue:

First off, that was genius! :smallbiggrin:

Second, applause to OP's dad for the direct approach and deent advice.

Third: Don't carry a condom around. Carry two around. If that first ones happens to [break/get damaged/ get stolen by the family cat] mid act and there is no backup, trickiness can ensue ending with frustration or a poor decision.
Oddly that advice didn't come from personal experience, but through the route of (female) cousin ->aunt -> my mum -> me. :smalleek:
That's about the most talk that I have received, everything else came from usual school sex classes and biology. Although looking back it it, they may have been a little extreme with the warnings. The STD talk could be summarised with "Do it and it'll drop off!".

Finally, beware the power of a motivated reproductive system!
I know of a couple who have 6 kids. After three, the guy got the *snip*. Since the wife got pregnant again, she got her tubes tied. They used protection again after that, and yes, there was a 6th.
My first reaction was questioning whether someone else was involved, but apparently the DNA is there.

DrizztFan24
2009-04-17, 08:04 AM
...You're going with the village bicycle to prom? :smallconfused: How small of a town do you live in?

A few villages go to the same school. Each one is 100-300 people except the town where the school is, at 1,200 people. High school is less than 200 people.

It actually happened last year as well. My dad canacelled last year as well and so I had to ask another friend to accompany me (there I won't use the word date anymore to confuse you guys, it looks like the boards ate my last post) and she had a bit (read big) of a reputation. So the good lil' Mormon boy is going to prom with, what everyone considers, the two biggest whores in the school. I actually bothered to get to know their personalities and they are good people, they just chose different recreational activities than I.

GoC
2009-04-17, 04:19 PM
That being said, any situation in which a father offers to give his son "tips" is just wrong.
XD
Seconded!

Coidzor
2009-04-17, 04:41 PM
Third: Don't carry a condom around. Carry two around. If that first ones happens to [break/get damaged/ get stolen by the family cat] mid act and there is no backup, trickiness can ensue ending with frustration or a poor decision.

Finally, beware the power of a motivated reproductive system!
I know of a couple who have 6 kids. After three, the guy got the *snip*. Since the wife got pregnant again, she got her tubes tied. They used protection again after that, and yes, there was a 6th.
My first reaction was questioning whether someone else was involved, but apparently the DNA is there.

...Those are some very powerful and determined genes. I mean, damn, with genes like that they should be reproducing so the gene pool is further enriched. :smalltongue:

Indeed, and don't carry the condoms around in a wallet either. Something along the lines of an altoids tin in the inner pocket (where the flask of alcohol is traditionally hidden) with 2-4 condoms in it has worked quite well for me in the past. I remember my g/f being quite tickled at my getting ahold of some "tuxedo" ones for prom night even if we didn't have a chance to test 'em out.


Drizzt: That is definitely an interesting situation... Any idea why your dates keep canceling on you?

Dallas-Dakota
2009-04-17, 04:42 PM
I may be wrong, though. I'm only 15...
:sigh:

Sneak needs to stop confusing me with his age!

:sigh:

Sneak
2009-04-17, 05:50 PM
:sigh:

Sneak needs to stop confusing me with his age!

:sigh:

Hey! I'm almost sixteen! July 24! :smalltongue:

...plus...can't you remember my age by now? :smalltongue:

DrizztFan24
2009-04-17, 09:14 PM
Drizzt: That is definitely an interesting situation... Any idea why your dates keep canceling on you?

Same (attempted) date both years. Her psychotic mom has a great deal to do with it.

Katrascythe
2009-04-18, 03:50 AM
Same (attempted) date both years. Her psychotic mom has a great deal to do with it.

Gotta love those crazy mothers! At least you don't have to deal with the crazy fathers, too.

Berserk Monk
2009-04-18, 04:49 AM
I really, really like this quote. In fact, I think I'm in love. I'm considering eloping and having its babies.

That is because Alan Moore is a friggin' genius. And if your comment was sarcasm, how dare you insult the awesometude of Alan Moore!

SoD
2009-04-22, 12:22 AM
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1ZKIESoXB4E/Rxy5VDH18jI/AAAAAAAADxQ/-j8JCYRzSJs/s400/vlcsnap-8575900-788969.jpg

You put a picture of Rimmer up. Have my baby?

I got the* talk before leaving for Finland for a year...from my grandfather. Awkward...especially as I was already 18, knew everything, and wasn't planning on having sex while away.

*that is the 'use protection', not the 'did you know how'.

InaVegt
2009-04-22, 12:50 AM
"The talk", Dutch style

Okay, so I was about 14 years old, me and my brothers (youngest 10, eldest 16 at the time), and my mother asked "So, you guys know what sex is, right?"

We nodded.

"So, we'd prefer you to wait a while, even the older ones of you, but there's condoms and the like in the medicine drawer."

Katrascythe
2009-04-22, 12:53 AM
"The talk", Dutch style

Okay, so I was about 14 years old, me and my brothers (youngest 10, eldest 16 at the time), and my mother asked "So, you guys know what sex is, right?"

We nodded.

"So, we'd prefer you to wait a while, even the older ones of you, but there's condoms and the like in the medicine drawer."

I love your parents. I had a friend whose mom said "So... sex? Here's some tampons and condoms, use them wisely." My friend already know more about sex than most people just because of the people she hung out with. It took a burden off of her mom. XD

Hell Puppi
2009-04-22, 01:05 AM
My 'talk' was "boys only want one thing from you, you know that, right?"

Umm...thank you?:smalleek:

Pyrian
2009-04-22, 01:11 AM
The only talk I ever got was regarding wet dreams, which I never had. :smalltongue:

golentan
2009-04-22, 04:49 AM
You put a picture of Rimmer up. Have my baby?

A fellow fan! YAYZ! *glomps* Species compatibility may be difficult... Our child appears to be problematic.

Yeah. My version of the talk was awkward beyond all belief. My dad sat me down and explained that despite what the other kids in my school called it, the proper term for what had happened to me was "sexual harassment," not "rape." This required detailed descriptions of both consensual sex and sex crimes of various magnitudes (starting homosexual and moving on from there because of the events leading to this). Then he told me they had hired a shrink to talk to me about anything I was still uncomfortable with, and that they would not be pressing charges against the other child unless I wanted to. I asked if the person would be kicked out of school regardless, and the answer was yes; so I said that it didn't seem right to hurt their family more than the rest of this with a court case for what the child had done. But only as long as I would never have to see them again one way or the other.

Telonius
2009-04-22, 05:10 AM
Most of my views on sex are very closely tied to my views on religion, so probably aren't board-appropriate. But I will say this: I did not wait until marriage, my wife almost did (she waited for me, we didn't wait for marriage :smallwink:), and we're both perfectly happy with our respective decisions. I did, however, wait until college. I always used protection, even when I was cohabiting with my girlfriend-through-most-of-college. I (thankfully) have no STDs, and no children at the moment. (Wife is due in August. :smallsmile:)

Really, the most important thing the OP can do is what it says on the Hitchhiker's Guide: DON'T PANIC. You're freaking out over it. That's not supposed to happen, regardless of whether or not you've ever had sex, or ever plan to. Respect yourself enough to believe that you'll make the right decision.

Khanderas
2009-04-23, 06:56 AM
I love your parents. I had a friend whose mom said "So... sex? Here's some tampons and condoms, use them wisely." My friend already know more about sex than most people just because of the people she hung out with. It took a burden off of her mom. XD
Sooo... gotta ask..
Why tampons ?

I mean... "here is a tampon, incase you have sex" ?

bibliophile
2009-04-23, 07:29 PM
That is because Alan Moore is a friggin' genius. And if your comment was sarcasm, how dare you insult the awesometude of Alan Moore!

He's a good comic writer anyway.

As to said quote, what about the Ummah, 800-1200 AD, or Europe and America 1850-1950? Both sexually conservative, yet the source of a great many discoveries.
Aside from that, correlation doesn't prove causation. Like the strong correlation between foot size and spelling ability.

Dragonrider
2009-04-23, 07:57 PM
Sooo... gotta ask..
Why tampons ?

I mean... "here is a tampon, incase you have sex" ?

I wondered the same thing.

Syka
2009-04-23, 08:10 PM
Biblio, America of the 1920's and 30's actually wasn't that sexually repressed. Just sayin'.

Jack Squat
2009-04-23, 08:31 PM
Sooo... gotta ask..
Why tampons ?

I mean... "here is a tampon, incase you have sex" ?

Remember that Tampax commercial awhile back where the boat sprung a leak?

I'm gonna go with that to preserve my sanity.

bibliophile
2009-04-23, 08:33 PM
The 20s were promiscuous for the time. High heels were 2 inches high! Skirts just below the knee! But compared to modern attitudes, they were more conservative. Would you agree the Victorian British, and America in the '40s and 50's were even more sexually conservative than the 20s flappers, and yet made great strides in science?

Pyrian
2009-04-23, 08:52 PM
At this point we have to actually do a serious analysis of correlations between whole generations sexual behavior (both set and delta) and their relative social contributions, or just remember it was a throwaway line based on an over-simplified premise that didn't mean much.

For the record, I think any such analysis on the basis of mere decades is effectively impossible - for instance, key advances of the 40's and 50's can be traced to people who grew up in the 20's and 30's.

bibliophile
2009-04-23, 09:03 PM
At this point we have to actually do a serious analysis of correlations between whole generations sexual behavior (both set and delta) and their relative social contributions, or just remember it was a throwaway line based on an over-simplified premise that didn't mean much.


I agree we need more data to have a useful debate. I spoke up because I think the line means a lot. I am however, completely derailing this thread, so I'll shut up.

afroakuma
2009-04-23, 09:22 PM
Oddly, I've never had any part of "the talk," and I think at 21 that I may be at the safe zone for not ever having to get it.

Quincunx
2009-04-24, 05:44 AM
Sooo... gotta ask..
Why tampons ?

I mean... "here is a tampon, incase you have sex" ?

"Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed". That's why.

OverdrivePrime
2009-04-24, 07:17 AM
Wow, lots of great stories in there. To the O.P., a self-titled Drizzt Fan, I suppose you can always ask yourself 'what would Drizzt do?', and I'd say that Toril's most introspective drow wouldn't deny himself a solution to a problem just because he had determined not to get into trouble. One of the earlier poster's analogies about refusing to wear a bullet proof vest just because you don't plan on getting shot is pretty apt.


Secondly, I'm increasingly thankful for my parents. I got the uncomfortable talks from my parents several times, in addition to a very good health and human development program in 5th, 8th, 9th and 11th grade. It wasn't a "don't do this or else!" kind of thing, it was more of a "here's the process and the various consequences" sort of education. The most lasting impression was when in 11th grade, a nurse came in and gave a slide show presentation with graphic detail of all manner of horrible venereal diseases. O__O Yikes. That definitely made me thankful for my monogamous mental make-up.

In my own experience, I find that effectively used contraception works extremely well. My wife and I have been together for almost 11 years and have been sexually involved for more than 10. As we don't want children yet, we've tried many different contraceptive methods over the years. Unfortunately, hormonal contraceptives tend to take a strong toll on my wife's emotional health, so we've been using condoms as our primary method of birth control for several years. And if the proper use failure rate is truly 2%, then I should be a father several times over. Over the years, we've had 4 cases of condom breakage, three of which happened when there was time to do something about it (like curse and grab another condom), and one which involved an extremely worried trip to the Planned Parenthood office. I'm eternally thankful to those good people. No idea if that would have resulted in a pregnancy if we didn't go, but I'm glad I live in a world where we didn't have to find out.


To sum up, it never hurts to bring protection. The best thing that can happen is that you won't need it. The worst thing that can happen is that you'll be glad you were prepared.

Pyrian
2009-04-24, 12:09 PM
And if the proper use failure rate is truly 2%, then I should be a father several times over.Those failure rates are normally given on a "per year" basis (rather than a "per use" basis). So, no, you're still a fair bit away from having your number up. :smallwink:

OverdrivePrime
2009-04-24, 03:05 PM
Those failure rates are normally given on a "per year" basis (rather than a "per use" basis). So, no, you're still a fair bit away from having your number up. :smallwink:

Well, that's a relief, but how in the blazes do they calculate a per-year basis? Trojan has a contract with Google and Logitech, don't they?! :smalleek:

Coidzor
2009-04-24, 03:23 PM
"Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed". That's why.

haha... and here I was thinking they had completely neglected to remember when girls get their periods (it's 9 nowadays, right? and used to be 10-11?) and so decided to just lump the awkwardness together later.

Well, I guess in calculating a yearly failure rate they take an average number of times of sexual intercourse for a sexually active adult. So I guess it's the percent of the time there were any failures amongst a population doing it at that rate over the course of the year... Maybe....

ow...

Pyrian
2009-04-24, 05:23 PM
Pfff. The yearly rate is used because it's the only one that can be reasonably calculated. Here's how it's done:

1) What birth control method did you use last year?
2) Did you get pregnant?

snoopy13a
2009-04-24, 05:45 PM
At this point we have to actually do a serious analysis of correlations between whole generations sexual behavior (both set and delta) and their relative social contributions, or just remember it was a throwaway line based on an over-simplified premise that didn't mean much.



And even then, correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation. One of the more ironic things is that the "father" of modern genetics was (apparently) celibate :smalltongue:

Serpentine
2009-04-24, 10:46 PM
haha... and here I was thinking they had completely neglected to remember when girls get their periods (it's 9 nowadays, right? and used to be 10-11?) and so decided to just lump the awkwardness together later.I thought the average was 13, because I was sure I was almost exactly average (within a few days of my 13th birthday) and places like Mexico City were extremely unusual for their average of 9. 'Course, it no doubt varies from place to place... >goes to investigate<

Pfff. The yearly rate is used because it's the only one that can be reasonably calculated. Here's how it's done:

1) What birth control method did you use last year?
2) Did you get pregnant?Um... That still doesn't make sense to me. What's it a percentage of, then? Man... This would be a good example for why statistics and studies tend to be more-or-less useless without knowing how they got those numbers.

Did anyone say this with regard to the OP yet? If having a condom handy is enough to break your will, then you don't have much willpower in the first place. It's going to break or not, regardless of whether you have one. If you have one and you don't do anything, no harm done. If you don't have one and you do do something, potentially much harm done - if only to your stress levels.

Pyrian
2009-04-25, 03:34 AM
What's it a percentage of, then?It's the percentage of people who get pregnant using that method of birth control over the course of one year. (Note that "none whatsoever" therefore nets less than 100%.)

snoopy13a
2009-04-25, 02:40 PM
I thought the average was 13, because I was sure I was almost exactly average (within a few days of my 13th birthday) and places like Mexico City were extremely unusual for their average of 9. 'Course, it no doubt varies from place to place... >goes to investigate<
Um... That still doesn't make sense to me. What's it a percentage of, then? Man... This would be a good example for why statistics and studies tend to be more-or-less useless without knowing how they got those numbers.



From 1988-1994 the average age in the US was 12.54.

This is a decrease from 1963-1970 where the average age was 12.75:


http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/111/4/844?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&minscore=5000&resourcetype=HWCIT

Castaras
2009-04-26, 04:58 AM
haha... and here I was thinking they had completely neglected to remember when girls get their periods (it's 9 nowadays, right? and used to be 10-11?) and so decided to just lump the awkwardness together later.

Well, I guess in calculating a yearly failure rate they take an average number of times of sexual intercourse for a sexually active adult. So I guess it's the percent of the time there were any failures amongst a population doing it at that rate over the course of the year... Maybe....

ow...

Average is 13 from what I know. Iirc, I was slightly below average. =P

Good on the father for saying that. I don't think I've really had "The Talk" yet.... most is me asking parents questions and they answering them. :smalltongue:

FoE
2009-04-26, 05:58 AM
I made an attempt at the Talk with my old man once. It involved one awkward question about a particular portion of the act and ended with him telling me to stay away from women because them dames were trouble.

The rest I was able to piece together from horror movies, Heavy Metal magazines, Phil Foglio comics (http://www.airshipentertainment.com/growfcomic.php?date=20070715) and things I found laying on the ground. :smalltongue:

Krytha
2009-04-26, 06:55 AM
Hm. I was actually the one who ended up telling my parents I was having physical relations with my girlfriend at the time. Not exactly sure why I did, but I guess I thought I should come clean? So that was my talk. It was sort of like -
Did you use protection?
Yep.
Ok.
Ok. What's for dinner?
Fish.

Whoops!

Shraik
2009-04-26, 12:47 PM
I have nothing personally, but I know a kid who got "The Talk" from our high school's music director.

I'm pretty sure I'm never gonna get the talk so I'm fine.