PDA

View Full Version : Job-hunting in the playground



pendell
2009-05-11, 03:06 PM
Anyone got any tips for a senior software engineer in Northern Virginia/North Carolina? Pickings seem pretty slim about now.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Bonecrusher Doc
2009-05-11, 03:48 PM
Umm... depending on your age, there's always the military. And I recall my grandfather once saying that priests have excellent job security! :smalltongue:

Sorry. I'm sure I'm not being helpful.

pendell
2009-05-11, 03:58 PM
Military's not a good option past age 35.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Surfing HalfOrc
2009-05-11, 04:28 PM
Military's not a good option past age 35.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

No, but the DoD is... Check out USAJobs.com and try searching there. Keep in mind, you may or may not end up doing what your primary skill set trained you to do. I'm an Ammunition Quality Assurance inspector now, which is what I worked with (ammunition and explosives) in the Navy. But my best friend from QA school was a Computer Forensic specialist, and the closest he ever came to being in the military was being born an Air Force brat. :smallbiggrin:

And of course, once you're in as a GS employee, you can always lateral move to a different career field. I'm going to stick with this Army thing for a while, but I'm keeping my eyes open for a Navy job.

Mauve Shirt
2009-05-11, 06:26 PM
NOVA is a great place for DoD jobs. Talk about your job security, too.

Berserk Monk
2009-05-11, 06:57 PM
Anyone got any tips for a senior software engineer in Northern Virginia/North Carolina? Pickings seem pretty slim about now.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

You could join my army of decoys should I ever be hunted down or need some cover on an enemy raid. How good a human shield are you? Oh, and this minion position is not just open to pendell. Anyone on the forums can apply as well as people not on the forums. Tell you grandparents, tell your neighbors, tell anyone. I hope it's cool I pay you in monopoly money. Trust me, once I rule the world, that stuff will be like gold.

Dragonus45
2009-05-11, 07:06 PM
You could join my army of decoys should I ever be hunted down or need some cover on an enemy raid. How good a human shield are you? Oh, and this minion position is not just open to pendell. Anyone on the forums can apply as well as people not on the forums. Tell you grandparents, tell your neighbors, tell anyone. I hope it's cool I pay you in monopoly money. Trust me, once I rule the world, that stuff will be like gold.



Dude sign me up, with all the monopoly money i could grab from this gig i would never need to fear boardwalk again.

ondonaflash
2009-05-11, 07:47 PM
Funeral homes make good money, and are especially profitable in times of economic downturn. Dead serious.

Vizen
2009-05-11, 08:35 PM
^: Oh gods, the pun! THE PUN!

In other news, I really have no idea, being that I live in NZ and therefore don't have to think about the American job market. A good job is something hard to come by these days no matter where you live though.

reorith
2009-05-11, 09:12 PM
skip tracing. with your comp background, this should be no problem for you.

pendell
2009-05-12, 09:01 AM
You could join my army of decoys should I ever be hunted down or need some cover on an enemy raid. How good a human shield are you? Oh, and this minion position is not just open to pendell. Anyone on the forums can apply as well as people not on the forums. Tell you grandparents, tell your neighbors, tell anyone. I hope it's cool I pay you in monopoly money. Trust me, once I rule the world, that stuff will be like gold.

So .. do I get to live your lavish rule-the-world lifestyle while acting as your decoy? In other words, you're offering me a life of luxury and comfort such as most people only dream of , in exchange for the risk of being shot at, bombed, or poisoned every once in awhile?

Dude .. sign me up!

Tongue-in-cheek,

Brian P.

Miklus
2009-05-14, 06:03 PM
Always remember, kids:

"It's not who you are, it's who you know!"

I have gotten half my software jobs from "networking" as it is called. And I suck at networking. But even my meagre skills beats competing with dozens of other applicants.

True story: I once applied for a job and weeks passed with to answer. Then they finally wrote back something like "Sorry it took so long, there was 600 candidates...BTW you did not get the job." :smallfrown:

Zeb The Troll
2009-05-15, 12:44 AM
I'm going to pimp working for the company that employs me to be a contractor for the government. Pay is nice, benefits rule. (I get 23 days per year of paid vacation/sick time on top of the 10 holidays, and that's with less than 5 years tenure.) If you're interested, PM me and I'll give you more details so that you can at least look through the job listings and see if something jumps out at you.

Miklus
2009-05-15, 11:17 AM
^See? This is networking. Waiting in line for a job is for suckers.

Also: Lie on your CV. That is how managers become managers.

pendell
2009-05-15, 07:38 PM
Zeb,

Thanks. I'll definitely be talking to you in PM.


^See? This is networking. Waiting in line for a job is for suckers.


Damn straight. Besides, it'd be nice to work with someone who knew just what spell slot Maximized Fireball is.



Also: Lie on your CV. That is how managers become managers.

With respect, I think that's truly awful advice. First of all, there's the matter of personal honor.

Second, I work in a technical field and lying in my environment *simply does not work*. I've sat down with people without technical experience try to BS me into believing they were object-oriented programmers, and they didn't know what encapsulation is. It took about 30 seconds to see through the transparent tissue of lies.

Third, if you lie, you may very well get a job you're in no way qualified for. That can suck most tremendously, both for you and for the company.

And finally, if you're caught you'll be fired instantly.

A better solution is what I once heard called "tell the best truth" or "put your best foot forward". Don't lie ... but DO sell yourself. For the same reason you show up in an interview in a suit, you dress up your resume and your cover letter. For example, you're not an ADD person who can't concentrate on any task for more than five minutes, you're a multi-tasker who can handle many things at the same time. You're not a weirdie who produces solutions no other developer would ever consider, you're an out-of-the-box thinker. You're not a rude son-of-a-$###, you're a direct, tough go-getter who is mission-focused and determined to get the job done. And so on.

I wish it wasn't that way, but that's the way it is in dating and in job-hunting. You make yourself as attractive as possible. People expect it. And if you don't, you won't get hired. I wish it wasn't that way -- I wish I could just be my unvarnished self -- but that's not the world we live in.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

pendell
2009-05-15, 07:45 PM
Heh ... everyone remember that Team Evil's always hiring? Whaddaya think of this notional cover letter:

Dear Lord Xykon,

I understand that Team Evil is always hiring, and I would like to offer my services as an Evil Software Engineer.

I am a software engineer of 15 years experience in truly evil languages such as C and C++. Further, I have more than 10 years experience with Microsoft projects, which are the epitome of True Evil on my plane. I have also spent two years managing a technical support desk, during which time I have tormented my customers unmercifully, giving them a foretaste of what Hell is truly like, taking vengeance for all the time I spent on hold to Oracle. Finally, I have spent a decade in corporate America and can paralyze any opponent with Buzzword bingo like Power Word: Synergy. Thus, I believe I am uniquely qualified for a position on your team.

Please contact me by scry if this opportunity is of interest. I am available immediately, and am willing to relocate to OOTSverse with only minimal magical assistance. Thank you for your attention, and I look forward to speaking with you.

Evilly,

Brian P.

Zeb The Troll
2009-05-18, 12:41 AM
Heheh, nice.

If I were Xykon I'd hire you based on that. :smallcool:

Miklus
2009-05-19, 01:37 PM
With respect, I think that's truly awful advice. First of all, there's the matter of personal honor.

Second, I work in a technical field and lying in my environment *simply does not work*. I've sat down with people without technical experience try to BS me into believing they were object-oriented programmers, and they didn't know what encapsulation is. It took about 30 seconds to see through the transparent tissue of lies.

Third, if you lie, you may very well get a job you're in no way qualified for. That can suck most tremendously, both for you and for the company.

And finally, if you're caught you'll be fired instantly.

A better solution is what I once heard called "tell the best truth" or "put your best foot forward". Don't lie ... but DO sell yourself. For the same reason you show up in an interview in a suit, you dress up your resume and your cover letter. For example, you're not an ADD person who can't concentrate on any task for more than five minutes, you're a multi-tasker who can handle many things at the same time. You're not a weirdie who produces solutions no other developer would ever consider, you're an out-of-the-box thinker. You're not a rude son-of-a-$###, you're a direct, tough go-getter who is mission-focused and determined to get the job done. And so on.

I wish it wasn't that way, but that's the way it is in dating and in job-hunting. You make yourself as attractive as possible. People expect it. And if you don't, you won't get hired. I wish it wasn't that way -- I wish I could just be my unvarnished self -- but that's not the world we live in.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Yeah, you are right. Don't lie about actual skills. But managers have no actual skills. :smallamused: That is why the are managers. They can't do any real jobs.

I have had several bosses with no actual skills. One was a schoolteacher. All due respect for schoolteachers, but why is he leading the Prod-IT department??? The next boss was fresh out of programming school. Actually, he had flunked out and thus did all his programming in HTML. It was all he knew :smallbiggrin:

At least those two where amusing. The boss I have now is a psycho. The kind that throws a spaz if anyone else (including the co-owners) tries to make a decision or does something without asking his permission first. No detail is too small for him to micro-manage. Right down to the permitted shape of coffee cups. He believes certain shapes are prone to tipping.