View Full Version : DF dorfs in Eragon

2009-05-11, 10:09 PM
Lets say all the dwarfs in the Inheritance cycle were warped away and replaced with a similarly sized population in Dwarf Fortress dwarfs. What happens?

2009-05-11, 10:15 PM
The books remain badly-written.

2009-05-11, 10:22 PM
Carp kill everyone.

And there is much rejoicing.

2009-05-12, 03:16 AM
"Dwarf stops mining. Interrupted by vanity-published LOTR knock-off." :smallamused:

2009-05-12, 03:27 AM
Well, in the first book (yes, I read the first. I lost all drive to read the next) there is this instance where Eragon is saved from drowning in a river by a dwarf. I'm pretty certain one of DF's utterly stupid dorfs would have drowned, or gotten eaten by carp, when he jumped in the river to save Eragon.

So, this would in fact be a good thing, because that way Eragon would have died in the first book and there wouldn't be four of them.

H. Zee
2009-05-12, 04:34 AM
Dorf gets set on fire. Dorf wanders around setting other things on fire and drinking ale. World is set on fire. Eragon and everyone he knows die a horrible burning death. Elephants trample the remains.

Alternatively, elves kill everyone for cutting down trees. And then they kill themselves for wearing leather.

Either way, the books decrease in popularity but gain much better critical response.

2009-05-12, 08:23 AM
Dorfs flood the world with Lava.

Eragon walks into the dwarven mountain. He's not flagged as a citizen, and steps on a pressure plate, where he gets pin cushioned by crossbows and bisected by giant saw blades.

This is Strigladen, a Marty Stu Bone Sword. It menaces with spikes of Iron and studded with Gold. It is engraved with a picture of a Dwarf. The Dwarf is reading horrible fantasy literature.

2009-05-19, 05:47 PM
Lag happens. Lag happens a lot. With a little luck, Paolini ragequits the whole thing, and the world is a better place.

Alternatively (supposing some kind of quantum ubercomputer); the dorfs quickly rise to world domination when they find the rest of the sentient races sleep every night, and don't reach epic strength by counting everything to a higher degree of accuracy.

Then they all die or go mad one by one because a kitten was killed in the brief-but-violent war.

Mr. Mud
2009-05-19, 05:51 PM
The books remain badly-written.

With (more) typos.

And Was Eragon controlling the stumpy students of the earth or not :smallamused:?