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NullAshton
2006-07-05, 05:04 PM
Chuck Norris

Medium Humanoid
Hit Dice: -
Initiative: -
Speeds: 30ft, kill
Armor Class: -
Base Attack/Grapple: -
Attack: Roundhouse kick
Full Attack: Roundhouse kick
Space/reach: 5ft/5ft
Special attacks: Punch the ground, vorpal crush, knife shooting, glare, retributive strike
Special qualities: Awesomeness, desending from the heavens, tears of an angel, beard of the holy, regeneration infinity, restful state, infinite count, reversed adjectives, there is only chuck, unstoppable forces, immovable objects, true seeing, who believes in that, literal unarmed strike, win, mastery of all, rule -1
Saves: -
Skills: -
Abilities: -
Feats: -
Enviroment: Any
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: -
Treasure: None
Alignment: True Neutral
Advancement: None needed
Level Adjustment: -

Languages
Chuck Norris can read and speak all languages. Including Braille.

All of Chuck Norris's abilities are extraordinary.

Awesomeness
Any statistic with an - is automatically assumed to be infinityinfinity, or the best they can be. This includes, for example, all feats that he desires. Also, he does not automatically fail at a task or action on a natural 1.

Roundhouse Kick
An enemy hit by a roundhouse kick must make a DC Infinity fortitute roll, or die instantly. On a successful save, they still die. It's that painful.

Punch the Ground
Chuck Norris must jump down from any height to use this ability, and punch the ground as a standard action.. Anyone in the area takes 50d6 fire damage and 50d6 force damage, with no save.

Desending from the Heavens
Chuck Norris may instantly travel to the heavens, and desend from it as a standard action. This ability allows him to teleport to any place on any plane. After he desends from the heavens, he may do a vorpal crush as a move action.

Vorpal Crush
When Chuck Norris desends from the heavens, he may do a vorpal crush as a move action. Otherwise, it is a standard action. Chuck Norris must target a single enemy, and make an attack roll. On a successful attack roll, the target is instantly decapitated as a weapon with the vorpal special quality. This power even affects creatures immune to criticals, if they have some sort of a head.

Knife Shooting
If Chuck Norris wields any type of piercing or slashing weapon, he can shoot it at a single target. Chuck Norris makes an attack roll to hit the target, and if successful, the target takes 1d12 damage per hitdie they have.

[/b]Tears of an Angel[/b]
Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

Beard of the Holy
Chuck Norris's beard can stop bullets. This ability also grants a damage resistance of infinite/an oar.

Regeneration
Chuck Norris has Regeneration infinity, which cannot be bypassed.

Restful State
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits. Because of this, he cannot ever be fatigued or exhausted, and never has to rest before preparing any spells he has or other similar abilities.

Infinity Count
Chuck Norris has counted to infinite. Twice. Thus, he knows everything there is to know, two times over. This does not require any type of roll, as it is instant.

Reversed Adjectives
When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.

There Is Only Chuck
Chuck Norris's abilities cannot be copied or mimicked by any source, magical or nonmagical, mortal or divine. Similarly, Chuck Norris can never make use of the psionic power Fission, the spell Body Outside Body, or similar copy effects, as this would cause the universe to implode. If someone attempts to copy Chuck Norris by any means, they instantly die.

Unstoppable Forces, Immovable Objects
Whenever Chuck Norris makes an opposed roll and ties the opponent, Chuck wins the tie. If Chuck ever encounters a similar opponent, with equally infinite stats, Chuck's stats are considered to be 1 pt higher in all respects.

True Seeing
Chuck Norris has true seeing active at all times. This ability even extends to nonmagical concealment, total concealment, disguises, and anything else Chuck Norris wishes to see through.

Who believes in that?
Chuck Norris does not believe in magic. He is surrounded by a divine anti-magic field with a one mile radius that can not be nullified or bypassed in any way by any being. Also, Chuck Norris may surpress any extraordinary ability in that field if he so chooses.

Glare
Chuck Norris’s glare is so intimidating that any creature who sees it must make a will save DC infinity, or die instantaneously. Chuck Norris is the only force capable of suppressing this power.

Retributive Strike
If anyone attacks Chuck Norris, even if they miss, Chuck Norris may instantly make a retributive strike as a free action, against that opponent regardless of if he can reach that person or not. A retributive strike is a roundhouse kick, targeted against the person that attacks Chuck Norris successfully or non-successfully, and ignores normal limitations for an attack.

Literal Unarmed Strike
If someone does manage to remove Chuck's arms, he still threatens because he's Chuck Norris.

Win
Chuck Norris can't lose anything. Ever. If challenged to anything, he wins. If he ever challenges someone to something, he wins.

Mastery of All
Chuck Norris doesn't obey the laws of physics, the laws of physics obey him. Thus he can do anything from getting McDonald's breakfast after 11:30 to roundhouse-kicking you from 3 planes of existence away.

Rule -1
Whatever Chuck Norris decides to do, he does. This overrules even Rule 0.

bingo_bob
2006-07-05, 05:10 PM
Reversed Adjectives (Ex): When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.

And about roundhouse kick: If they make their fortitude save, they STILL die. He's Chuck Norris, remember.

PhoeKun
2006-07-05, 05:12 PM
Where's his Sell Total Gym (Ex) ability?

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 05:15 PM
Pun-pun is better.

tape_measure
2006-07-05, 05:18 PM
Tears of an Angel (SA) - Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris never cries.

Beard of the Holy - Chuck Norris' beard can stop bullets. This ability also grants a Damage resitence of 100k/-

Fax Celestis
2006-07-05, 05:22 PM
Pun-pun is better.
THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY: Pun-Pun Versus Chuck Norris!

Maerok
2006-07-05, 05:25 PM
http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=chuck
Refresh to get new ones.

Languages: Chuck Norris can speak all languages, including Braille.

Regenerate 10, Chuck Norris can regrow an arm in 30 minutes.

Chuck Norris cannot hide, but always succeeds on Search checks.

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 05:26 PM
THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY: Pun-Pun Versus Chuck Norris!

Pun-pun

Uses infinite reach and infinite attacks per round to crush Chuck Norris for infinite damage each attack. If needed (which I doubt), takes one of his infinite move actions to move infinitly far away from Chuck. Should Chuck try a Decend from the Heavens/Vorpal Crush combo, Pun-pun is handily immune to crits (and thus the effects of Vorpal), even if Chuck was able to hit his infinite AC. For added irony, Pun-pun gains Chucks abilities and used those to finish him off.

TheThan
2006-07-05, 05:29 PM
Restful state: Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits. As a result he never suffers from fatigue and never has to rest before preparing any spells he may have.

Infinity count: Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice. As a result he can instantly divine anything, ever. This ability doesn’t require a skill check of any sort.

tape_measure
2006-07-05, 05:32 PM
would chuck really need spells?

TheThan
2006-07-05, 05:35 PM
He might pick up the practice out of boredom or something.

Jack Mann
2006-07-05, 05:41 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't cast spells. He just tells reality what to do.

InaVegt
2006-07-05, 05:50 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't cast spells. *He just tells reality what to do.
So he's a psion

Edit: more likely a truenamer actually

Jaltum
2006-07-05, 05:52 PM
No. If anything, truenamers are Norris-like.

(See Reversed Adjectives ability)

NullAshton
2006-07-05, 05:57 PM
First post updated with new abilites. And now, Pun Pun can't copy his abilities. Ha!

Neither can wizards with polymorph or shapechanging. Ooops.

Sciurusaurus
2006-07-05, 06:01 PM
You should make his stats infinity + 1, thus they are always better than Pun-Pun, who can only reach infinity :D

The Glyphstone
2006-07-05, 06:03 PM
Uniqueness: Call it There Is Only Chuck.

Don't forget his one weakness: A grapple attempt by Gandalf the Grey, with Gandalf the White, the Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all giving Aid Another bonuses.

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 06:04 PM
First post updated with new abilites. And now, Pun Pun can't copy his abilities. Ha!
OK, so Pun-pun doesn't get the irony of Killing Chuck with his own abilities. Either way, Chuck looses.


Don't forget his one weakness: A grapple attempt by Gandalf the Grey, with Gandalf the White, the Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all giving Aid Another bonuses.
I thought it was an oar to the head? Thats what someone in a thread around here said IIRC.

:edit: consolidated posts

The Glyphstone
2006-07-05, 06:07 PM
^Not according to the song.

Unstoppable Forces, Immovable Objects: Whenever Chuck Norris makes an opposed roll and ties the opponent, Chuck wins the tie. If Chuck ever encounters a similar opponent, with equally infinite stats, Chuck's stats are considered to be 1 pt higher in all respects.

There Is Only Chuck: Chuck Norris's abilities cannot be copied or mimicked by any source, magical or nonmagical, mortal or divine. Similarly, Chuck Norris can never make use of the psionic power Fission, the spell Body Outside Body, or similar copy effects, as this would cause the universe to implode.

(TIOC replaces Uniqueness.)

IonizedChicken
2006-07-05, 06:11 PM
Pun pun doesn't have infinite stats (Not for attack and damage, at least). Just unlimited stats. Chuck Norris does. Also, no one can defeat Chuck Norris except Chuck Norris, meaning Pun Pun must be able to defeat Chuck Norris before he defeats Chuck Norris, but he can't defeat Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris is undefeatable so defeating Chuck Norris is an impossibility.

Edit: Simu'd

Thray
2006-07-05, 06:15 PM
Don't forget about true seeing.

hyikim
2006-07-05, 06:20 PM
he has the ability to divide by zero!

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 06:31 PM
Pun pun doesn't have infinite stats (Not for attack and damage, at least). Just unlimited stats. Chuck Norris does. Also, no one can defeat Chuck Norris except Chuck Norris, meaning Pun Pun must be able to defeat Chuck Norris before he defeats Chuck Norris, but he can't defeat Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris is undefeatable so defeating Chuck Norris is an impossibility.

Edit: Simu'd
Funny, I would imagine that having infinite STR would lead to infinite attack/damage. but thats just me.

As to the ability to win any tied result, I don't think Chuck is going to be tieing very many results, as Pun-pun has a couple sources of +infinite to stats that the Chuck block is lacking. This leads to Pun-pun having higher check results, as infinite^3 is greater than infinite^2.

And for added craziness, It just occured to me that Pun-pun could whip up the ability "This creature counts as a Chuck Norris for all effects regarding Chuck Norris." Since this isn't one of Chuck Norris's ability, it doesn't get nuked by Chuck's abilities. Pun-pun can now 1) use Chuck's abilities, as he is clearly Chuck. and 2) Kill Chuck, as he is clearly Chuck. While this technically means that Chuck can kill Pun-chuck, none of Chuck's abilities that Pun-chuck isn't simply immune to can be enacted, as Pun-chuck is capable of staying out of attack range of all of Chucks abilities aside from Desend from the Heavens/Vorpal Crush, and Pun-chuck is immune to the effects of Vorpal.

Karsh
2006-07-05, 06:33 PM
Who Believes in That? (Ex) Chuck Norris does not believe in magic. He is surrounded by a divine anti-magic field with a one mile radius that can not be nullified or bypassed in any way by any being.

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 06:38 PM
Pun-pun's abilities are (ex). Those that aren't can easily be made (ex) if needed, but I don't think any of the ones I'm using so far are.

Heck, even without doing that, Pun-pun simply manifests and throws a Mind Blade (a la soulknife), which can exist in such an antimagic field with a simple DC20 will save

Umbral_Arcanist
2006-07-05, 06:46 PM
Pun-Pun is literally unstoppable, i once saw a thread that had a way to beat Pun-Pun and it involved attacking him before he obtained any power....

LazyJoe
2006-07-05, 06:48 PM
Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Kills People
Because of Chuck Norris' fearsome reputation, everyone in existance must succeed on a DC inifinity^4 will save every day at midnight or be affected as per a Fear spell whenever Chuck Norris is within a two mile radius. Therefore, nearly everyone will be afraid of Chuck Norris and cower before him.

[Edit:
Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Kills People
Because of Chuck Norris' fearsome reputation, every creature in existance with an Intelligence of 4+ must succeed on a DC inifinity^4 will save every day at midnight or be affected as per a Fear spell whenever Chuck Norris is within a two mile radius. Therefore, nearly everyone will be afraid of Chuck Norris and cower before him. This power supercedes any immunity to fear effects.]

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 06:50 PM
Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Kills People
Because of Chuck Norris' fearsome reputation, everyone in existance must succeed on a DC inifinity^4 will save or be affected as per a Fear spell whenever Chuck Norris is within a two mile radius. Therefore, nearly everyone will be afraid of Chuck Norris and cower before him.
nifty, but Pun-pun is immune to fear effects.

:edit: just noticed a change to one of chucks abilities. Thus it should be noted that even though Vorpal Crush can now effect even creatures immune to critical hits, Pun-pun doesn't die if he loses his head. Technically it simply deals him a load of nonlethal damage up to his max HP + 10, but Pun-pun is immune to nonlethal damage. In fact, He's probably mmune to every kind of damage

LazyJoe
2006-07-05, 07:00 PM
It wasn't directed at Pun-pun, just everyone else in the good Lord's creation.

IonizedChicken
2006-07-05, 07:06 PM
OK, this discussion is irrelevant -- Chuck Norris has infinite ability scores. As such, he could use the Omniscificer route to BECOME pun-pun. Not to mention being able to use it at any point in time, because of the simple fact that the only person that could have fathered Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. As such, it is only logical to assume that Chuck Norris has the capability of time travel, which allows him to become pun-pun before pun-pun becomes pun-pun.

TheThan
2006-07-05, 07:09 PM
You know what, we forgot to give him unarmed strike…. So here it goes

Unarmed strike

Chuck Norris is considered to be armed even when unarmed —that is, he does not provoke attacks of opportunity from armed opponents when he attacks them while unarmed. However, he still gets an attack of opportunity against any opponent who makes an unarmed attack on him.


There now he can kill people. Oh and here is another ability

Glare

Chuck Norris’s glare is so intimidating that any creature who sees it must make a will save DC= infinity + infinity, or die instantaneously. Chuck Norris is the only force capable of suppressing this power.

Nerd-o-rama
2006-07-05, 07:25 PM
As to the ability to win any tied result, I don't think Chuck is going to be tieing very many results, as Pun-pun has a couple sources of +infinite to stats that the Chuck block is lacking. This leads to Pun-pun having higher check results, as infinite^3 is greater than infinite^2.
I just wanted to pop in to say that this statement is incorrect. Infinity to the power of x, times x, or +x is always equal to infinity. Even if x is zero, coincidentally.

Now, "Infinity" can have one of several definitions, some of which are larger than others. For the purposes of D&D statistics, however, only whole numbers exist. Therefore, we only have the "smallest" infinity, A0 (aleph-nought), which is the largest possible whole number, or alternatively, the sum of all finite whole numbers, the product of all finite whole numbers, etc.

Therefore, Chuck and Pun Pun are equal. And for God's sake, why is anyone taking this seriously?

InaVegt
2006-07-05, 07:28 PM
However infiniteinfinite = hyperinfinite

Maerok
2006-07-05, 07:36 PM
You know what, we forgot to give him unarmed strike…. So here it goes

Unarmed strike

Chuck Norris is considered to be armed even when unarmed —that is, he does not provoke attacks of opportunity from armed opponents when he attacks them while unarmed. However, he still gets an attack of opportunity against any opponent who makes an unarmed attack on him.


There now he can kill people. Oh and here is another ability


Literal Unarmed Strike (ex) - If someone does manage to remove Chuck's arms, he still threatens because he's Chuck Norris.

DMgrinder
2006-07-05, 08:06 PM
You guys messed up on his speed. Chuck Norris has 2 speeds walk (at 30' per round) and kill.

Maerok
2006-07-05, 08:11 PM
You guys messed up on his speed. Chuck Norris has 2 speeds walk (at 30' per round) and kill.
*gives DMgrinder a cookie*

Nerd-o-rama
2006-07-05, 08:12 PM
However infiniteinfinite = hyperinfinite
I'm actually going to have to look that up later, but I don't think so. Give me a few hours.

Maerok
2006-07-05, 08:13 PM
Yeah inf^inf is a new inf. I believe it is represented by omega. My teacher told me the guy went crazy.

Edit: Chuck Norris can take 20 on Craft(Pain).

Edit:
| *Because Chuck Norris says so.
V

InaVegt
2006-07-05, 08:16 PM
I'm actually going to have to look that up later, but I don't think so. *Give me a few hours.
Well, I don't know whether that's the correct english name but infiniteinfinite is more than infinite (don't ask why, my father (who's a math teacher at university) says it is to difficult for me to undertstand and if it's to difficult for someone who spend all her life busy with math and understands math better than my fathers average student (allright not all of it, lots of stuff id really do) how are random people on a message board going to understand)

jaqueses
2006-07-05, 08:19 PM
Mr Rogers still beats Chuck and Pun-Pun.

Nerd-o-rama
2006-07-05, 08:22 PM
Okay, since you guys have reliable sources, I'm going to give it to you and not look it up. You'd better not be lying.

So yes, a character with A0 ^ A0 stats would beat Pun-Pun, who has stats of, essentially, A0. Actually, re-reading the Pun-Pun build, he simply has arbitrarily large stats and every ability in the game. He actually has to take time to grant himself higher ability scores, meaning they are not actually infinite until after an infinite (A0) amount of time. Hmm...

Of course, he still has the highest stats you can get without inventing new rules, which is kinda the point of the Chuck meme.

Thray
2006-07-05, 08:28 PM
Well, I don't know whether that's the correct english name but infiniteinfinite is more than infinite (don't ask why, my father (who's a math teacher at university) says it is to difficult for me to undertstand and if it's to difficult for someone who spend all her life busy with math and understands math better than my fathers average student (allright not all of it, lots of stuff id really do) how are random people on a message board going to understand)

It's nothing complicated. Basically, it's a matter of a one-to-one correspondence. If you can create a one-to-one correspondence between the elements of two finite sets, then they must have the same number of elements. For example, {2, 4, 6} and {1, 2, 3} have a correspondence 2<->1, 4<->2, 6<->3. The same idea is carried over to infinities. You cannot create a one-to-one correspondence between integers and reals, and so there are "more" reals than integers. Hence the reals have a different infinity than the integers.

Things like A_0^A_0 = A_1 don't have set meanings, as there aren't really universally accepted methods of applying operations to infinities. However, you *can* make them. In this case, if you want to say that there are A_0 integers, it's not too hard to see why there would be A_0^A_0 reals.

Umbral_Arcanist
2006-07-05, 08:28 PM
Okay, since you guys have reliable sources, I'm going to give it to you and not look it up. You'd better not be lying.

So yes, a character with A0 ^ A0 stats would beat Pun-Pun, who has stats of, essentially, A0. Actually, re-reading the Pun-Pun build, he simply has arbitrarily large stats and every ability in the game. He actually has to take time to grant himself higher ability scores, meaning they are not actually infinite until after an infinite (A0) amount of time. Hmm...

Of course, he still has the highest stats you can get without inventing new rules, which is kinda the point of the Chuck meme.


I guess you could say Pun-Pun beats Chuck since he is approved rules legit.

Thray
2006-07-05, 08:32 PM
I just wanted to pop in to say that this statement is incorrect. *Infinity to the power of x, times x, or +x is always equal to infinity. *Even if x is zero, coincidentally.


Um. This isn't necessarily true with any infinities, it's a matter of how you define a convention. You can define infinity*0 to be whatever you want, with any one of the infinities. There's no "correct" definition.

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-05, 08:55 PM
So yes, a character with A0 ^ A0 stats would beat Pun-Pun, who has stats of, essentially, A0. Actually, re-reading the Pun-Pun build, he simply has arbitrarily large stats and every ability in the game. He actually has to take time to grant himself higher ability scores, meaning they are not actually infinite until after an infinite (A0) amount of time. Hmm...
the official Pun-pun build uses the Font of Power ability and various time-altering powers to allow such an infinite amount of time to occur... within the space of a single round.

Fax Celestis
2006-07-05, 08:57 PM
Mr Rogers still beats Chuck and Pun-Pun.

...with hugs and LOVE! And a side helping of cardigans.

Zeful
2006-07-05, 09:03 PM
You forgot an ability
Who the F*** is going to believe this?!!?
All creatrues within sight range of Chuck Norris may make either a DC5 Spot check or a DC5 Will saving throw, success indicates that you have disbelived all of Chuck Norris's abilities and his stats change to that of a level 4 commoner level 1 monk posessing a monk's belt. You are immune to the abilities of his fanboy fantasy form. Failure means your going to die.

Now this is more believeable.

stainboy
2006-07-05, 09:11 PM
Paradox Vulnerability:

If the Unstoppable Force (a +3 Keen maul which deals +1d10 damage on a critical hit, available only in d20 World of Warcraft) should ever strike The Immovable Object (a +3 shield available only in d20 World of Warcraft), Chuck Norris dies. He can, however, be resurrected, which he goes back in time and does to himself as an immediate action.

Maerok
2006-07-05, 09:48 PM
Yeah inf^inf is a new inf. I believe it is represented by omega. My teacher told me the guy went crazy.

And that omega^omega equals a new (third) infinity, and so on and so forth.


You forgot an ability
Who the F*** is going to believe this?!!?
All creatrues within sight range of Chuck Norris may make either a DC5 Spot check or a DC5 Will saving throw, success indicates that you have disbelived all of Chuck Norris's abilities and his stats change to that of a level 4 commoner level 1 monk posessing a monk's belt. You are immune to the abilities of his fanboy fantasy form. Failure means your going to die.

Now this is more believeable.
Wouldn't he roundhouse them first? ;D

Nahal
2006-07-05, 11:21 PM
While technically this thread died some time ago with the mention of Pun-Pun, I have an ability to add:

Mastery of All Chuck Norris doesn't obey the laws of physics, the laws of physics obey him. Thus he can do anything from getting McDonald's breakfast after 11:30 to roundhouse-kicking you from 3 planes of existence away.

Yossarian
2006-07-05, 11:28 PM
Chuck Norris does not take 20. He takes 100 instead.

Chuck Norris does not score critical hits. He only scores kills and critical kills.

It's not true that only one Tarrasque ever exists. Chuck Norris just killed the rest of them. When he was in kindergarden.

Chuck Norris overrides rule 0.

Chuck Norris doesn't have spell resistance; he just stares at magic until it runs away scared.

Chuck Norris does not roll damage; he just rolls how many times he kills you with his attacks.

Chuck Norris once killed a black dragon with an Acid Splash spell.

Chuck Norris can kill people with Intimidate checks. For that matter, Chuck Norris can kill people with Spot checks.

Chuck Norris does not have any form of enhanced vision. He just decides what's there in front of him instead, and he's always right.

(Normally I wouldn't indulge like this, but I just had to post to spite the guy complaining about Chuck-dom.)

WildBill
2006-07-05, 11:31 PM
You all forget Chuck Norris' racial vulnerability, Bruce Lee :)

Skyserpent
2006-07-05, 11:41 PM
Oh and "DR Infinity/Mr.T" too

Rolaran
2006-07-06, 01:17 AM
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of species Chuck Norris allows to live. Therefore, if Chuck Norris kills a creature, he can decide to kill not only that creature, but all others of that species. This is instantaneous and unavoidable.

Also, he should have Swallow Whole: After all, he once ate an entire three-layer cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper inside.

skreweded
2006-07-06, 01:45 AM
You forgot an ability
Who the F*** is going to believe this?!!?
All creatrues within sight range of Chuck Norris may make either a DC5 Spot check or a DC5 Will saving throw, success indicates that you have disbelived all of Chuck Norris's abilities and his stats change to that of a level 4 commoner level 1 monk posessing a monk's belt. You are immune to the abilities of his fanboy fantasy form. Failure means your going to die.

Now this is more believeable.

I think this brings him down to about.. LA+50,000...

I think chuck norris jokes are cool as much as th next person, but this is kinda.. overkill. Try and atleast put him under the rules...

"overrules rule 0"?

Here's a chalenge, try and make a chuck norris class/race/prc that encompasses the awsomness of norris, but is LA+0.

Gorbash Kazdar
2006-07-06, 02:03 AM
Here's a chalenge, try and make a chuck norris class/race/prc that encompasses the awsomness of norris, but is LA+0.
That way lies madness!

This thread frightens me almost as much as it amuses me. :P

Bob_the_Mighty
2006-07-06, 02:22 AM
Win (Ex): Chuck Norris can't lose anything. Ever. If challenged to anything, he wins.

Chuck Norris doesn't take 20. He takes them all.

Skyserpent
2006-07-06, 03:36 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't "Take" Chuck Norris HAS

Baskineli
2006-07-06, 05:31 AM
I just wanted to pop in to say that this statement is incorrect. Infinity to the power of x, times x, or +x is always equal to infinity. Even if x is zero, coincidentally.


Unless x is negative...

Sir_Banjo
2006-07-06, 07:01 AM
Why Chuck Norris?

NullAshton
2006-07-06, 10:16 AM
Because Chuck Norris is awesome. And I got inspired by all the Chuck Norris vs Everyone threads....

More changes! Adding new abilities, and his stats are now infinity times infinity. Ooo, aaah.

Maerok
2006-07-06, 10:18 AM
Shapechange -> Chuck Norris. Score!!!

For the Roundhouse kick (Roundhouse Kick
An enemy hit by a roundhouse kick must make a DC Infinity fortitute roll, or die instantly. On a successful save, they still die. It's that painful.), I've always wondered if someone can die from just sheer pain alone without actual bodily damage.

NullAshton
2006-07-06, 10:25 AM
There is Only Chuck stops that. Sorry. And you die from just attempting it.

Rigeld2
2006-07-06, 10:51 AM
Chuck caught em all

When threatened by Chuck Norris, he considers you helpless, since he caught you once already.

Maerok
2006-07-06, 11:23 AM
Chuck Norris Killed the Dinosaurs
Chuck Norris may travel back in time as a free action. His attacks are treated as bane weapons against dinosaurs, and all other creatures for that matter, since he's Chuck Norris.

Awesome
Chuck Norris's attacks are treated as awesome for the purposes of overcoming all damage reduction.

w00t I'm a Barbarian in the Playground now, drinks on me!

Nerd-o-rama
2006-07-06, 11:25 AM
Unless x is negative...
True. I was tired at the time. If x is negative and finite, infinity times x or infinity divided by x is negative infinity.

NullAshton: as discussed on the previous page, infinity * infinity is considered by most to be still the same infinity. InfinityInfinity, however, is generally considered the next larger infinity, which isn't even conceivably possible in D&D rules. Use that.

Were-Sandwich
2006-07-06, 11:30 AM
Computer Overload Awesomeness (Ex)
Bill Gates once wagered Microsoft that Chuck Norris couldn't crash Windows Vista. Accepting this wager, Chuck Norris proceeded to load a Walker Texas Ranger DVD into the drive. Overloaded with its sheer awesomeness, Vista returned the message "All your base are belong to us". Microsoft remains under Bill's name for tax purposes.

Chuck Norris can crack any code, crash any system, create an exit anywhere, instantly.

Karsh
2006-07-06, 11:50 AM
Just a question... shouldn't Chuck Norris be an Outsider with the Awesome subtype?

NullAshton
2006-07-06, 01:12 PM
Great. I think pun-pun killed this thread.

Umbral_Arcanist
2006-07-06, 01:31 PM
Great. I think pun-pun killed this thread.


Does that mean that Pun-Pun can kill chuck norris?

Joe_Kerr
2006-07-06, 02:08 PM
No. No it does not.

brummeren
2006-07-06, 06:59 PM
Pun-Pun cannot ever gain infinite stats/damage/whatever, simply because "infinite" is not a value. You can say any value, and pun-puns stats are higher, but they can never reach infinite. You can't do normal math with infinite.

Of course Chuck Norris laugh at mathematicians, and then roundhouse kicks them back to the blackboard.

NullAshton
2006-07-06, 07:19 PM
Chuck norris now has infinityinfinity stats. Thus, he can kill pun pun easily.

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-06, 08:08 PM
Chuck norris now has infinityinfinity stats. Thus, he can kill pun pun easily.
Hot really, he still has 0 capacity to get within range of any of the abilities he has that are capable of harming Pun-pun. Pun-pun can attack anyone from anywhere on any plane, and move to a totally different plane/location within the same round. Chuck has 5' reach and a standard action teleport ability that can be combo'd with an ability that is unable to kill Pun-pun. How exactly does Chuck intend to kill something he can't reach with his oh-so-precious Roundhouse?

Zeful
2006-07-06, 08:16 PM
How exactly does Chuck intend to kill something he can't reach with his oh-so-precious Roundhouse?
Or for that matter someone who sees through the hype?

The Glyphstone
2006-07-06, 08:19 PM
Or for that matter someone who sees through the hype?

Chuck Norris decides what you see.

Zeful
2006-07-06, 08:24 PM
Chuck Norris decides what you see.
And I laugh at him for telling me this. When he tries to roundhouse me out of esistance I begin laughing at him again and the blow breaks three ribs(as chuck norris is really that storng). Big deal? No.

The Glyphstone
2006-07-06, 08:26 PM
Spoilsport. :'( :'( :'( You're ruining our fun... ;D :D

StGlebidiah
2006-07-06, 08:31 PM
There's already a webpage for "Chuck Norris Facts". Why couldn't we just leave it there? It isn't that funny beyond the first time! Hell, the entire WoW community got so pissed off with this meme that even mentioning it will result in you being placed on a very large number of peoples' block lists.

Yossarian
2006-07-06, 10:08 PM
How exactly does Chuck intend to kill something he can't reach with his oh-so-precious Roundhouse?

Because he's Chuck Norris. Sheesh, some people just can't face reality. So how much you want to be the deliberate irony of this post goes right over the heads of those complaining about the Chuck Norris meme?

Wolf53226
2006-07-06, 10:16 PM
Sorry, Chuck beats Pun-Pun.

Lets just say that the two get in a fight. Let us even say, Pun-Pun gets the drop on Chuck, wins init and gets to go first, even though that can never happen, which I will explain later. Pun-Pun attacks, physically, with a special power or...what ever. First of, Pun-Pun, as good as he is, needs a natural 20 to hit. Pun-Pun has an attack approaching infinite, but since CN, Chuck Norris will now be refered to as CN and Pun-Pun as PP, has a dex of Infinite, his AC is infinitely high, so there is no way to hit him with out a natural 20. Since only a natural 20 is an automatic hit, even a 19+near infinite, is still less than infinite, so only the 20 hits. We'll even say, PP gets lucky and rolls another 20 to confirm the crit, I haven't read anything to say he can't be crit hit. PP, does near infinite damage, since his near infinite str, but that is still less that the infinite HP that CN has. Now, it is CN's turn, he travels back in time, by giving the space time continum a round house kick, appears in the air above PP, a couple of instances before PPgets his powers, and KILLS him with the punch the ground attack.

DONE, FIN, ADIOS, AUF WIEDERSEN

Oh, and since CN's dex is infinite, his init bonus is also infinite, so he can not loss init.

The shorter method is he goes first, instantly transports to right next to PP, and uses that Vorpal Crush, and since that still effects creature who are immune to crits, and would do infinite damage do to the inifinite str, PP is dead, again.

And do to his Master of All power, he can bring PP back to life, to do it again, and again, and again.


{Why did I read this thread....and Why am I taking CN's side...}

{I sorry Chuck, I meant no disrespect!!!!!! AHHHHHHH}

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-06, 10:27 PM
Sorry, Chuck beats Pun-Pun.

Lets just say that the two get in a fight. Let us even say, Pun-Pun gets the drop on Chuck, wins init and gets to go first, even though that can never happen, which I will explain later.
Wrong. Pun-pun will always (http://d20srd.org/srd/divine/divineAbilitiesFeats.htm#supremeInitiative) go first.


Pun-Pun attacks, physically, with a special power or...what ever. First of, Pun-Pun, as good as he is, needs a natural 20 to hit. Pun-Pun has an attack approaching infinite, but since CN, Chuck Norris will now be refered to as CN and Pun-Pun as PP, has a dex of Infinite, his AC is infinitely high, so there is no way to hit him with out a natural 20. Since only a natural 20 is an automatic hit, even a 19+near infinite, is still less than infinite, so only the 20 hits. We'll even say, PP gets lucky and rolls another 20 to confirm the crit, I haven't read anything to say he can't be crit hit. PP, does near infinite damage, since his near infinite str, but that is still less that the infinite HP that CN has. Now, it is CN's turn, he travels back in time, by giving the space time continum a round house kick, appears in the air above PP, a couple of instances before PPgets his powers, and KILLS him with the punch the ground attack.


Since Pun-pun also knows what Chuck will try doing Long before (http://d20srd.org/srd/divine/divineRanksAndPowers.htm#portfolioSense) Chuck actually does it, Pun-pun has no trouble preventing such time-travelling shenanigans.



The shorter method is he goes first, instantly transports to right next to PP, and uses that Vorpal Crush, and since that still effects creature who are immune to crits, and would do infinite damage do to the inifinite str, PP is dead, again.
As I pointed above, your precious Chuck is incapable of going first unless Pun-pun chooses to delay his action.

As for vorpal crush, if you read it more carefully, it does no damage, just a decapitation effect as per vorpal. Since Pun-pun has decided to give himself the regenerative traits of, say, the Tarrasque, instead of dieing, he finds himself instead taking nonlethal damage equal to his HP + 10. Or at least, he would if he wasn't immune to nonlethal damage.

Maerok
2006-07-06, 10:35 PM
Could a Pun-pun kill another Pun-pun?

And if there was an effect that automatically killed anyone who passed a DC 200 Save/Check, thats the way to take out a Pun-pun. ;D

Now pun-pun only comes from Serpent Kingdoms or are there variants from other faulty WotC products?

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-06, 10:37 PM
And if there was an effect that automatically killed anyone who passed a DC 200 Save/Check, thats the way to take out a Pun-pun. ;D

you can still willingly fail checks ;)

Skyserpent
2006-07-06, 11:09 PM
wait... does Chuck have divinity yet?

bingo_bob
2006-07-06, 11:40 PM
And I laugh at him for telling me this. When he tries to roundhouse me out of esistance I begin laughing at him again and the blow breaks three ribs(as chuck norris is really that storng). Big deal? No.

I dunno about that. 3 ribs would be a pretty big deal to me. I'd be on the floor groaning, or in any case performing FAR from my best. Plus, those are ribs that, if you get hit in the same area again, are probably going to do unpleasant things to your internal organs.

firepup
2006-07-07, 12:24 AM
OK, so Pun-pun doesn't get the irony of Killing Chuck with his own abilities. Either way, Chuck looses.

I thought it was an oar to the head? Thats what someone in a thread around here said IIRC.

:edit: consolidated posts

and remember they have to appear out of nowhere

firepup
2006-07-07, 12:31 AM
Mr Rogers still beats Chuck and Pun-Pun.
he has to be in a blood stained sweater though.

Skyserpent
2006-07-07, 01:35 AM
Technically Mr. Rogers did NOT actually kill him, I believe it was:

Ahem... Gandalf the Gray, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grails Black Knight, Benito Moussolini, the Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtus, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, the Rock, Doctor Octopus, and Hulk Hogan...

Nerd-o-rama
2006-07-07, 05:23 AM
That's Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, heathen.

Whoa.

Chuck's only vulnerabilities are that particular dogpile, Bruce Lee, and oars.

NullAshton
2006-07-07, 09:34 AM
There, now I added Retributive Strike...

...Pun Pun can TRY to kill him now. But he can't. Never could, anyway...

Maerok
2006-07-07, 09:41 AM
Where did the oar come from?

ghost_warlock
2006-07-07, 10:44 AM
Chuck Norris should have age categories like a dragon and have certain abilities assigned to each level.

And that way it'd be easier to stat out Vin Diesel (http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=vin) as an immature Chuck Norris, say "juvenile" or "young adult."

Skyserpent
2006-07-07, 05:13 PM
Whoops... sorry it was like 4 am over here...

NEO|Phyte
2006-07-07, 05:47 PM
There, now I added Retributive Strike...

...Pun Pun can TRY to kill him now. But he can't. Never could, anyway...
Well of course! If all you do is adjust and add abilities with the EXPRESS purpose of defeating something, its going to be able to defeat it. First vorpal crush started being able to hit crit-immune foes (which didn't really help much), then his anti-magic thing started being able to turn off (ex) abilities, Rule -1 , and Unstoppable Forces, Immovable Objects, and now finally Retributive Strike. Its easy to defeat something when you ignore the fundamental rules of the game to create hard counters to its abilities.

I'm done with this thread, but remember, Chuck can't stand the sight of fanboys, and therefore kills them on sight.

firepup
2006-07-07, 11:40 PM
what if you challenged chuck norris to cry, would he cry or would he not be able too?

Thray
2006-07-07, 11:45 PM
what if you challenged chuck norris to cry, would he cry or would he not be able too?
Clearly he would roundhouse you before you finished your sentence

The Glyphstone
2006-07-08, 11:47 AM
Well of course! If all you do is adjust and add abilities with the EXPRESS purpose of defeating something, its going to be able to defeat it. First vorpal crush started being able to hit crit-immune foes (which didn't really help much), then his anti-magic thing started being able to turn off (ex) abilities, Rule -1 , and Unstoppable Forces, Immovable Objects, and now finally Retributive Strike. Its easy to defeat something when you ignore the fundamental rules of the game to create hard counters to its abilities.

I'm done with this thread, but remember, Chuck can't stand the sight of fanboys, and therefore kills them on sight.


Agreed....this thread is starting to become a mockery of the almighty Chuck, instead of a homage. I move that we eliminate "UF,IO", Who Believes In That, the stats of InfinityInfinity (just plain Infinity is fine), Rule -1, and instead include the following:

Kills Pun-Pun: If Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun ever fight, Chuck wins, and defeats Pun-Pun automatically.

There. Now the arms race with a hypothetical exercise in rules abuse is over, and we can get back to making Chuck cool.

AmberVael
2006-07-08, 12:09 PM
I'm done with this thread, but remember, Chuck can't stand the sight of fanboys, and therefore kills them on sight.

I wonder if Pun-Pun kills his fanboys, or does he simply use them to gain more divine ranks?

firepup
2006-07-08, 04:33 PM
I wonder if Pun-Pun kills his fanboys, or does he simply use them to gain more divine ranks?
uses them to gain divine ranks, of course! though he does request sacrifices at times....

Collin152
2006-07-08, 05:25 PM
Here is the problem as I see it. Pun-Pun was not simply created to kick ass out of nothing. It is a simple b(sort of) build that can be used to reach infinite power without having to create anything custom. Chick Norris here is made entirely from scratch, so rather than a super powerful character, he's just an unbalanced monster. Whats more, even if he had an ability that specifically killed Pun-Pun, three things are to be noticed:
Pun-Pun knows all that ever happened and will happen, and thus can prevent anything from happening via time travel.
Pun-Pun actually has infinite stats, skill checks, saving throws, and every ability. He is un resistable in all ways. AKA: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/divine/divineAbilitiesFeats.htm#lifeAndDeath Life and Death. No life for you.
Three: Pun-Pun is immune to everything but himself. (Aleax) And he can just change his name to bypass that Pun-Pun targeting ability.

Quirinus_Obsidian
2006-07-08, 06:23 PM
Uniqueness: Call it There Is Only Chuck.

Don't forget his one weakness: A grapple attempt by Gandalf the Grey, with Gandalf the White, the Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, The Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all giving Aid Another bonuses.

You forgot: Buffy Summers, Batman, Ironman, Bill Parcells, Mace Windu, and the Grey Ghost.

Dervag
2006-07-08, 06:51 PM
Waitaminute.

I thought Pun-Pun had arbitrarily high ability scores. Which is not the same as infinite ability scores.

As I recall, Pun-Pun's method of puffing up his stats basically quadruples them with each round of up-puffing. But each time he increases his stats, he increases them by a finite amount (an amount that can be written as a number if you have enough paper). Therefore, it would take an infinite amount of time for Pun-Pun to puff his stats up to infinite magnitude. Although this might not stop him from doing so, it would almost certainly give any entity that does have infinite abilities the ability to get the drop on him before he reaches full power.

Tack122
2006-07-08, 07:56 PM
Waitaminute.

I thought Pun-Pun had arbitrarily high ability scores. Which is not the same as infinite ability scores.

As I recall, Pun-Pun's method of puffing up his stats basically quadruples them with each round of up-puffing. But each time he increases his stats, he increases them by a finite amount (an amount that can be written as a number if you have enough paper). Therefore, it would take an infinite amount of time for Pun-Pun to puff his stats up to infinite magnitude. Although this might not stop him from doing so, it would almost certainly give any entity that does have infinite abilities the ability to get the drop on him before he reaches full power.

QFT

Yuki Akuma
2006-07-08, 07:58 PM
You forgot: Buffy Summers, Batman, Ironman, Bill Parcells, Mace Windu, and the Grey Ghost.


No he didn't. He's quoting a flash animation.


Waitaminute.

I thought Pun-Pun had arbitrarily high ability scores. Which is not the same as infinite ability scores.

As I recall, Pun-Pun's method of puffing up his stats basically quadruples them with each round of up-puffing. But each time he increases his stats, he increases them by a finite amount (an amount that can be written as a number if you have enough paper). Therefore, it would take an infinite amount of time for Pun-Pun to puff his stats up to infinite magnitude. Although this might not stop him from doing so, it would almost certainly give any entity that does have infinite abilities the ability to get the drop on him before he reaches full power.

Pun-Pun uses Metamind/Temporal Acceleration cheese to gain an infinite number of rounds of apparent time during one round.

Quirinus_Obsidian
2006-07-09, 02:16 PM
No he didn't. He's quoting a flash animation.


Pun-Pun uses Metamind/Temporal Acceleration cheese to gain an infinite number of rounds of apparent time during one round.


Ohhh, ok. my bad?

Umbral_Arcanist
2006-07-09, 04:15 PM
Well of course! If all you do is adjust and add abilities with the EXPRESS purpose of defeating something, its going to be able to defeat it. First vorpal crush started being able to hit crit-immune foes (which didn't really help much), then his anti-magic thing started being able to turn off (ex) abilities, Rule -1 , and Unstoppable Forces, Immovable Objects, and now finally Retributive Strike. Its easy to defeat something when you ignore the fundamental rules of the game to create hard counters to its abilities.

I'm done with this thread, but remember, Chuck can't stand the sight of fanboys, and therefore kills them on sight.

actually if you look at the Pun-Pun threads Pun-Pun can technically make any ability he wants.....

See this thread http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=491801

most noteably this ability: I Win

Benefit: Pun-Pun cannot be harmed, directly or indirectly. Any act that would harm him automatically fails, at any place and at any given time. Further, Pun-Pun automatically succeeds at anything he attempts.



Also i think the omniscifier could be Chuck...... at fourth level no less

http://boards1.wizards.com/showthread.php?t=546612

Dervag
2006-07-09, 09:21 PM
Actually, the "Chuck Norris vs. Pun-Pun" debate has a simple resolution:

The fight is logically impossible. It's a variation of the "Irresistible force vs. immovable object" fight, which is equally impossible. The reasoning is as follows:

Both Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun are irresistible killers. Furthermore, they both possess infinite resistance to being killed.

Therefore, neither can exist in the same universe as the other. If Chuck Norris exists, then he must be able to kill all objects. Therefore, there can be no object in that universe that has the ability to resist all killers. Therefore, there can be no Pun-Pun.

Likewise, if Pun-Pun exists, there can be no Chuck Norris. The only way to have both Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun exist in the same universe is to make one or the other of them 'killable', or to limit the killing power of one or the other of them.

Since both options are precluded by the definitions of Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun, they cannot coexist in the same universe.

I propose that both Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun be defined as having the following power:

Parallel Universe Spawning
If (Chuck Norris/Pun-Pun) is introduced into a universe that already contains (Pun-Pun/Chuck Norris), then (Chuck Norris/Pun-Pun)'s power creates a new universe, identical to the old one except that (Pun-Pun/Chuck Norris) does not exist in that universe. Therefore, the two can never meet.

Umbral_Arcanist
2006-07-09, 10:15 PM
Actually, the "Chuck Norris vs. Pun-Pun" debate has a simple resolution:

The fight is logically impossible. It's a variation of the "Irresistible force vs. immovable object" fight, which is equally impossible. The reasoning is as follows:

Both Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun are irresistible killers. Furthermore, they both possess infinite resistance to being killed.

Therefore, neither can exist in the same universe as the other. If Chuck Norris exists, then he must be able to kill all objects. Therefore, there can be no object in that universe that has the ability to resist all killers. Therefore, there can be no Pun-Pun.

Likewise, if Pun-Pun exists, there can be no Chuck Norris. The only way to have both Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun exist in the same universe is to make one or the other of them 'killable', or to limit the killing power of one or the other of them.

Since both options are precluded by the definitions of Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun, they cannot coexist in the same universe.

I propose that both Chuck Norris and Pun-Pun be defined as having the following power:

Parallel Universe Spawning
If (Chuck Norris/Pun-Pun) is introduced into a universe that already contains (Pun-Pun/Chuck Norris), then (Chuck Norris/Pun-Pun)'s power creates a new universe, identical to the old one except that (Pun-Pun/Chuck Norris) does not exist in that universe. Therefore, the two can never meet.

That's what they told me about Wolverine vs. Batman but what did Marvel and DC do? that's right, they made Dark Claw to confuse me even more

Dervag
2006-07-09, 11:30 PM
Well, both Wolverine and Batman can, in theory, be killed. There is nothing in the definition of either entity that makes it impossible to kill them. Wolverine would be incredibly difficult to kill, but it could be done by, say, trapping him in an adamantium blast furnace. He couldn't cut his way out, and the heat would bake him eventually. Batman would be considerably easier to kill from a physical standpoint, but is incredibly crafty and will find any way out that you give him. Thus, he is difficult to kill, but he can be killed in theory (if you're clever enough and come in with enough force).

Furthermore, both Wolverine and Batman can, in theory, be prevented from killing something. Wolverine can't kill anything he can't physically reach; and Batman can't take down enemies with sufficient superpower if they don't have a readily exploitable weakness like Kryptonite.

So Wolverine and Batman can exist in the same universe, since they are entities with finite lethality and a finite ability to avoid being killed.

onepeople
2006-07-17, 08:44 AM
What the hell are you on? batman can't be killed. The Irrefutable Law of Comic Book Heroes 1st principal is that characters fans like will never die. I mean batman beat up superman for christ's sake

Dervag
2006-07-17, 08:53 AM
What the hell are you on? batman can't be killed. The Irrefutable Law of Comic Book Heroes 1st principal is that characters fans like will never die. I mean batman beat up superman for christ's sakeAll that law proves is that Batman won't be killed; not that he can't be killed. There's an enormous difference between can't and won't. For example, I won't go to a crowded restauraunt, climb on top of one of the tables, take my pants off, and start yodeling and doing my funky little Cossack dance. I would never want to do that, for an enormous number of extremely good and compelling reasons. I would have to go utterly out of my mind to even consider doing it.

But I can. There's nothing in the laws of logic or physics that prevents me from doing that. I could do it right now, in theory. I won't, but I can.

Likewise, in the DC universe, Batman can die. He almost certainly won't do so because of the probable effect on DC's fanbase, but he can. The same goes for Wolverine (if you substitute 'Marvel' for all the places I said 'DC').

Chuck Norris as defined in online humor CANNOT die. He is unkillable by any entity that exists in the same humor-universe he lives in.

Pun-Pun either can or cannot kill Chuck Norris. If Pun-Pun cannot kill Chuck Norris, there's no problem. If Pun-Pun could kill Chuck Norris, then one or the other must not exist, by definition, because Chuck Norris is unkillable and Pun-Pun is capable of killing anything.

Alchemistmerlin
2006-07-17, 09:46 AM
Chuck Norris sucks and everytime I see a "OMFG CHUCK NORIS BBQ!1111SO PHUNY!1" thread, I make sure I watch the Way of the Dragon scene where Norris gets his face kicked in by Bruce Lee.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/2691/way02oq7.jpg

Way to go Chuck, nice "Block with your glass jaw" technique.

AmberVael
2006-07-17, 09:46 AM
Here is how you resolve this easily.
Pun-Pun starts as a level 1 kobold. Chuck Norris starts as Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris knows everything (including that Pun-Pun would be uber-powerful if he got to level 4). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Pun-Pun.

Chuck Norris stands alone.

Edit: ^ Why do people who don't like (whatever I like) think their opinion is better than mine? Obviously we are both entitled to our opinions, but that doesn't mean you should go around insulting people's likes and dislikes.

NullAshton
2006-07-17, 09:52 AM
About Pun-Pun getting infinite ability scores because he can have an infinite amount of rounds in an apparent 1 round or something... he cannot take infinite rounds to get infinite modifiers to stats, because he could never get out of that loop, and thus time would never resume properly again for us. Thus, Pun-Pun would stop time permanently for everyone.

onepeople
2006-07-17, 10:08 AM
which would be the easiest way to deaftea everything, surely?

roadkiller
2006-07-17, 12:34 PM
What the hell are you on? batman can't be killed. The Irrefutable Law of Comic Book Heroes 1st principal is that characters fans like will never die. I mean batman beat up superman for christ's sake


Except that in multipule comics, the hero dies. He's usually brought back, but occasionally the series does end. I think there are at least 5 different Superman worlds where he dies at the end.

Shatenjager
2006-07-17, 01:18 PM
I've figured it out Pun-pun and Chuck Norris are the same person!

Holy Crap! This explains everything.