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EENick
2009-06-05, 01:57 PM
A little while ago I posted up a list of ideas I was considering to make a more battle oriented monk. Although we do a fair bit of role playing in my group one of our DM's is very hack and slash heavy the monks tend to get a little shafted in those games. After getting some feedback on my ideas and looking over the ToB I put together this class.

I would like to know:

A. Is it clear how the Nei Jin work? Could you play one just from reading this?

B. Are they balanced?

C. Do they seem fun?

Nei Jin Warrior

Some choose to fight with their body, some choose to fight with their mind, others devote their mind or souls to magic to fight for them. A Nei Jin warrior however seeks to use the whole of their being. Although some choose to devote themselves to a lord and serve as a sort of knight most followers of the Nei Jin way wander the land seeing to expand themselves and their skills. Nei Jin vigorously train to keep themselves at their peak and thus are frequently doing things, seeking knowledge and challenging themselves and others to see the limits of their skills some seek this merely as an ends to itself however many follow the noble path of Xai or chivalry and help those weaker then themselves.

Adventures: The Nei Jin practice victory in the mind as much as in the body. They walk a fine line between preparation and adaption. The Nei Jin Warrior is often the first into the frey but rarely the one to start a fight unless it was a fight they sought out in advance.

Characteristics: The Nei Jin draw on mundane practice to train their bodies but they also call on the Chi the power of the body and Chakra the power of the spirit to achieve super human abilities.
The Nei Jin seek to develop their own personal fighting style from the many moves, techniques and abilities they learn throughout their travels and become more flexible as their fighting styles become more complicated and flexible.

Alignment: The Nei Jin can be any alignment. Nei Jin have been everything for noble assassins to selfish warlords to robin hood like defenders of the common people.

Religion: The Nei Jin religion if any typically varies by school. Each school has slightly different philosophy and if that aligns with a particular faith may invoke that god as the school patron.

Background: Most people come to the path of Nei Jin either apprentice under a traveling Nei Jin or are taken in by a school or something both. It is not uncommon for a traveling Nei Jin to leave a promising student with a Master at a school where they can be given more training or for schools to turn out students to walk the earth under the guiding eye of someone advanced in the ways of Nei Jin to give them some worldly experience.

Over the years however scrolls and tombs of the Nei Jin Masters have been on occasion stolen and those clever and gifted enough have been able to glean some of the basics of Nei Jin from the, enough to set them down the path to self discovery as is the Nei Jin way. Though since it is a rare a promising student will be turned away by schools usually only students thrown out of schools or turned away by the masters for some reason have to take this shameful path. Self taught Nei Jin are typically looked down on by other Nei Jin and there is a great hostility between the two groups as opposed to the simply rivalry between schools.

Races: Since the Nei Jin are known to walk the earth almost any race can be brought back to a school and trained in the Nei Jin ways, however the Nei Jin are welcome more by some races then others. Dwarves in particular have little use for the Nei Jin and their teachings and many tribal groups resent the way the Nei Jin philosophy typically dominates a personís life and may seek to keep younger members of the tribe away from the ďtroublesomeĒ Nei Jin.

Other Classes: Nei Jin warriors see the value in teamwork. Due to their flexibility but somewhat lack of specialization they generally make excellent support characters in a group often times backing up a fighter, defending a wizards or covering a rouge. Nei Jin are aware although they can do many things, they canít do everything

Roll: The Nei Jin can serve a number of functions but often they are used to guard casters. Their high mobility and residences allows them disrupt enemy casters and hold of melee combatants. And there ability to step in for a variety of disabled allies is not to be over looked.

Game Rule Information
Nei Jin Warriors have the following game statistics.
Abilities: Wisdom is highly valued to the Nei Jin and almost all their abilities draw strength from it. Strength and Dexterity are both valued as they aid with unarmed combat and Intelligence is valued to help round out a Nei Jin.
Alignment: Any
Hit Dice: d8

Class Skills
The Nei Jinís class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Diplomacy (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Hide (Dex), Jump (Str), Knowledge (arcana/religion) (Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), Swim (Str), and Tumble (Dex).
Skill Points at 1st Level: (3 + Int modifier) x 4.
Skill Points at Each Additional Level: 3 + Int modifier.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: A Nei Jin is proficient with a variety of light weapons the Nei Jin. This list includes the club, dagger, dart, Kama, Kukri, light pick, quarterstaff, Sai, Short Sword, sickle and throwing axe. Nei Jins are proficient only with padded armor, and not with shields; as with weapons, wearing more visible armor would only serve to slow the Nei Jin, not protect him. Because the Nei Jin regularly fights for his life wearing nothing more than padded clothes, the Nei Jin loses his Nei Jin abilities and Martial Arts including their AC bonuses when wearing any armor other than padded or when using a shield.

Martial Arts: Martial Arts are abilities both mundane and supernatural that a Nei Jin learns throughout travels. A Nei Jin may know an unlimited number of martial arts abilities however they cannot possibly use them all at once. A Nei Jin must incorporate these moves into their fighting styles and refocus their energies in order to take advantage of them. After a day of practice and concentration a Nei Jin may change one of their fighting styles. They may assign any number of martial arts moves to their new style provided they donít go over their style point limit. Styles can be adopted or switch as a swift action provided the used is only wearing padded armor (though they may wear ceremonial armor provided it is light and doenít provide more than a +1 bonus to their AC). Nei Jin encumbered or in medium/heavy armor cannot use any of their martial arts abilities or adopt one of their stances.

Martial Arts abilities can be broken down into three groups. First is Moves which are abilities the Nei Jin can use can use at will which modify their abilities in some way they draw their power from Chi the energy of the body. Second is techniques which, similar to ToB stances, provide bonuses to the Nei Jin so long as they are using the style the technique is assigned to. Finally there are certain active use abilities which take the Nei Jins Chakra, energy of the spirit. After using this ability the Nei Jin needs to recenter themselves and cannot use Chakra abilities again until the they do so.

To learn a Martial Art ability the Nei Jin must have a wisdom score equal to at least 12 + the martial arts level and meet any additional requirements. When adding an ability to a style each ability takes 1 point per level of the ability unless otherwise noted. IE: A 3rd Level ability takes up 3 points in a style.


AC Bonus (Ex): When wearing armor no armor or padded armor, the Nei Jin gains a bonus to AC equal to half his Nei Jin level (rounded down). In addition, he may add his Wisdom bonus (if positive) as a bonus to his Armor Class. This bonus cannot exceed his total Nei Jin level. These bonuses to AC applies even against touch attacks or when the Nei Jin is flat-footed. He loses these bonuses when he is immobilized or helpless.

Unarmed Strike (Ex): A Nei Jin gains Improved Unarmed Strike as a bonus feat at first level. In addition, their unarmed strikes is more accurate and deals improved damage according to her level, as displayed on the table below. Unlike monks Nei Jin warriors cannot normally use their unarmed damage table for weapons even special monk weapons.

Evasion (Ex): At second level or higher if a Nei Jin makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, she instead takes no damage. Evasion can be used only if a Nei Jin is wearing light armor or no armor. A helpless Nei Jin does not gain the benefit of evasion.

Piercing Strike (Ex): At 4th level, when using an unarmed strike, a Nei Jin may ignore 3 points of damage reduction of any type whenever he inflicts damage. At 8th level he may ignore 6 points of damage reduction when inflicting damage. At 12th level he may ignore 9 points of damage reduction when inflicting damage, 16th level he may ignore up to 12 points of damage reduction when inflicting damage, and at 20th he may ignore up to 15 points of damage reduction when inflicting damage. This ability also allows the bypassing of an objects hardness.

Unbreakable Aura (Ex): At 5th level, a Nei Jin gains spell resistance equal to 3 + their wis mod (though this may not exceed their current Nei Jin level). In order to affect the Nei Jin with a spell, a spellcaster must get a result on a caster level check (1d20 + caster level) that equals or exceeds the Nei Jinís spell resistance. At level 10 this bonus increase to 6 and includes resistance to maneuvers, at level 15 it increases to 9 and includes Psi and at level 20 it increase to 12 and includes resistance to sneak attacks.

Wholeness of Body (Su): At 6th level or higher, a Nei Jin can heal her own wounds. She can heal a number of hit points of damage equal to twice her current Nei Jin level each day, and she can spread this healing out among several uses.

Chi Sense (Su): At the 7th level a Nei Jin gains a 6th sense that allows them to read the auras of other. If spend 1 round studying a person they can make a spot check DC = the observed characterís level. If they succeed they learn the class of the person they studied (if any) and their approximate level relative to the Nei Jinís own (Higher, lower or close to the same). If a creature is disguised or attempting to prevent the Nei Jin from reading them this way the DC of this check doubles.

Improved Evasion (Ex): At 9th level, a Nei Jinís evasion ability improves. She still takes no damage on a successful Reflex saving throw against attacks, but henceforth she takes only half damage on a failed save. A helpless Nei Jin does not gain the benefit of improved evasion.

Timeless Body (Ex): Upon attaining 18th level, a Nei Jin no longer takes penalties to her ability scores for aging and cannot be magically aged. Any such penalties that she has already taken, however, remain in place. Bonuses still accrue, and the Nei Jin still dies of old age when her time is up.
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
Hit Dice: d8
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|
+0|
+1|
+2|
+1|AC Bonus, Unarmed Strike

2nd|
+1|
+2|
+3|
+2| Evasion

3rd|
+2|
+2|
+3|
+2|

4th|
+3|
+2|
+4|
+2| Piercing Strike 3

5th|
+3|
+3|
+4|
+3| Unbreakable Aura 3 Magic

6th|
+4|
+3|
+5|
+3| Wholeness of Body

7th|
+5|
+4|
+5|
+4| Chi Sense

8th|
+6/+1|
+4|
+6|
+4| Piercing Stirke 6

9th|
+6/+1|
+4|
+6|
+4| Improved Evasion

10th|
+7/+2|
+5|
+7|
+5|Unbreakable Aura 6 Maneuvers

11th|
+8/+3|
+5|
+7|
+5|

12th|
+9/+4|
+6|
+8|
+6| Piercing Strike 9

13th|
+9/+4|
+6|
+8|
+6|

14th|
+10/+5|
+6|
+9|
+6|

15th|
+11/+6/+1|
+7|
+9|
+7| Unbreakable Aura 9 Psi

16th|
+12/+7/+2|
+7|
+10|
+7| Piercing Strike 12

17th|
+12/+7/+2|
+8|
+10|
+8|

18th|
+13/+8/+3|
+8|
+11|
+8|

19th|
+14/+9/+4|
+8|
+11|
+8| Timeless Body

20th|
+15/+10/+5|
+9|
+12|
+9| Unbreakable Aura 12 Sneak Attack, Piercing Strike 15 [/table]

{table=head]Level|Unarmed Base Attack|Unarmed Damage|Number of Styles|Max Style Points|Max Level Known
1st|
+1|
1d6 |
1|
1|
1|

2nd|
+2|
1d6 |
1|
1|
1|

3rd|
+3|
1d6 |
1|
2|
1|

4th|
+4|
1d8 |
1|
2|
1|

5th|
+5|
1d8 |
1|
3|
2|

6th|
+6/+1|
1d8 |
2|
3|
2|

7th|
+7/+2|
1d8 |
2|
4|
2|

8th|
+8/+3|
1d10 |
2|
4|
2|

9th|
+9/+4|
1d10 |
2|
5|
3|

10th|
+10/+5|
1d10 |
2|
5|
3|

11th|
+11/+6/+1|
1d10 |
3|
6|
3|

12th|
+12/+7/+2|
2d6 |
3|
6|
3|

13th|
+13/+8/+3|
2d6 |
3|
7|
4|

14th|
+14/+9/+4|
2d6 |
3|
7|
4|

15th|
+15/+10/+5|
2d6 |
3|
8|
4|

16th|
+16/+11/+6/+1|
2d8 |
4|
8|
4|

17th|
+17/+12/+7/+2|
2d8 |
4|
9|
5|

18th|
+18/+13/+8/+3|
2d8 |
4|
9|
5|

19th|
+19/+14/+9/+4|
2d8 |
4|
10|
5|

20th|
+20/+15/+10/+5|
2d10 |
4|
10|
5|
[/table]


Martial Arts


Martial Arts Abilities

Level 1
Acrobatic Stand (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 1
You flip twist and keep you feet even when normally you would knocked to the ground.
If a Nei Jin is knocked down or would end up prone in any way they can attempt to immediately right themselves as a sudden action. The Nei Jin must make a jump check DC 10 plus any damage they took while being knocked down. If they succeed the Nei Jin immediately removes and leaps to his feet in a single flowing move. If they fail then they remain knocked down as normal.

Nimbus Halo Technique I (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 1
You learn how to manipulate your personal aura to defend yourself
So long as you remain centered you gain damage resistance 1/-. This ability does not stack with any other damage reduction.

Beat Rush (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 1
The Nei Jin attacks is a flurry of blows headless of their own safety
The Nei Jin makes a full attack they may choose to make one extra attack with a to hit bonus equal to Ĺ their current level rounded down but suffer a -2 to AC for 1 round. This extra attack must be an unarmed attack.

Burning Fist (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 1
You focus your charka intensely into your fist till it glows as if crackling with flames
Your make a melee attacks this round gain a +2 to hit bonus and do an additional 2d6 fire damage. This move takes 1d6 round to recenter from.

Combination Attack (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 1
So skilled are you that even in the midst of a furious attack you can attempt to use your special strike and kicks.
Whenever you make a special attack such as a stunning blow you may also make a second normal attack at a -5 penalty.

Flying Jump Kick (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 1
You leap at your foe foot first flying through the air
You may choose to make a jump check at +10 to make a jump kick attack on an opponent. You just have a clear line of attack to your foe and movement in this manner does not provoke an attack of opportunity. You gain a +2 bonus to your attack and damage this round but cannot make any other attacks. If you jump check fails you automatically miss.

Three Forms Attack (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 1
For a moment you appear in three places each attacking you foe at once each representing a possible move you could make.
You manipulate time slightly allowing you to try three possible attacks and picking the best of the three. This round you may reroll one to hit roll and one damage roll taking the higher of the two rolls. You can activate this power as a free action but you must activate this ability before you roll the first time. This move requires 1 round to recenter from.

Nei Jiney Style (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 1
Using this style you move in totally unpredictable ways that confound your foe
You gain a +2 bonus to your AC on any turn donít move more then 5 feet.

Snake Style (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 1
By studying the snakes youíve learned the art of lighting fast lethal blows
Your critical threat range is increased to 20-19 with unarmed strikes.

Summersault Kick (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 1
The Nei Jin runs up his surprised enemy kicks them and back flips away from them.
Using this move you can leap/flip backwards away from your opponent after an attack if you make a successful jump check equal to your foes AC. You can move 5 feet + and additional 5 feet for every 2 Nei Jin levels you have. While moving this way you get a +5 to any tumble checks.

Triskelion Step (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 1
You run, run like the wind[/b]
You may apply the Nei Jinís unarmored speed bonus when incorporating this technique into your martial arts style.

Twin Knife Attack (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 1
You throw two knives, darts or other throwing weapon together in perfect in one smooth motion.
When you make a missle attack you may throw two missile weapons at once provided you can hold them both in one hand. This is a single attack but it will deal double damage and obviously takes twice the ammo. Using this move increase the difficulty of the throw as if your foe was one distance category further way. This ability maybe stacked with other moves.

Level 2
Anaconda Style (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 2
By studying the snakes youíve learned the art of lighting fast lethal blows
You deal x3 damage on your unarmed criticals.

Nimbus Halo Technique II (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 2
You learn how to manipulate your personal aura to defend yourself
So long as you remain centered you gain damage resistance 2/-


Chain Attack (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 2
The Nei Jin launches series of blows that leave their foe wide open for their last attack
When you perform the full attack action if you hit with all your attacks the last attack does maximum damage.

Katra Attack (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 2
With the practiced eyes of a Nei Jin you see where you foe physically draws magic into themselves and strike it disrupting their energy.
The Nei Jin performs a special nerve blow like attack to stop their personal energy flow. An opponent who suffers a Katra Attack in addition to taking normal damage must make a fortitude saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier). If they fail they cannot use any supernatural abilities including spell casting for 1 round. Static supernatural abilities such as damage reduction are not affected by this power nor are the victimís ability to magic items. Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits are immune to this attack. This ability takes 1d4 rounds to recenter from.

Minor Transcendence (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 2
For a moment you moment you transcend the physical and all things become a matter of your will.
You may activate this move as a immediate move. Until the end of the round, except for cross class skills, whenever a roll would use an ability score you may substitute wisdom for that ability score. This move requires 1d4 rounds to recenter from, if you used it during turn it takes only 1 round to recenter.

Serpent Style (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 2
By studying the snakes youíve learned the art of lighting fast lethal blows
Your critical threat range is increased to 20-18 with unarmed strikes.

Skill Strike (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 2
You learn to perfectly place your blows for maximum damage
A Nei Jin is such a skilled fighter that they can deal extra damage to a foe. A Nei Jin deals 1 point of damage to a foe for each number they roll over their needed to hit up to their Nei Jin level. This damage is not increased by critical hits.


Stunning Blow (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 2
You strike suddenly and swiftly leaving you foe reeling from you well placed strike.
You must declare that you are using this ability before you make your attack roll (thus, a failed attack roll ruins the attempt). Stunning Blow forces a foe damaged by your unarmed attack to make a Fortitude saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier), in addition to dealing damage normally. A defender who fails this saving throw is stunned for 1 round (until just before your next action). A stunned character canít act, loses any Dexterity bonus to AC, and takes a Ė2 penalty to AC. Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits cannot be stunned. This ability takes 1d4-1 rounds to recenter.

Stunning Kick
Level: Nei Jin 2
You strike suddenly and swiftly leaving you foe reeling from you well placed strike.
You must declare that you are using this ability before you make your attack roll (thus, a failed attack roll ruins the attempt). Stunning Kick forces a foe damaged by your unarmed attack to make a Reflex saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier), in addition to dealing damage normally. A defender who fails this saving throw is stunned for 1 round (until just before your next action). A stunned character canít act, loses any Dexterity bonus to AC, and takes a Ė2 penalty to AC. Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits cannot be stunned. This ability takes 1d4-1 rounds to recenter.

Stunning Strike
Level: Nei Jin 2
You strike suddenly and swiftly leaving you foe reeling from you well placed strike.
You must declare that you are using this ability before you make your attack roll (thus, a failed attack roll ruins the attempt). Stunning Strike forces a foe damaged by your unarmed attack to make a Will saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier), in addition to dealing damage normally. A defender who fails this saving throw is stunned for 1 round (until just before your next action). A stunned character canít act, loses any Dexterity bonus to AC, and takes a Ė2 penalty to AC. Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits cannot be stunned. This ability takes 1d4-1 rounds to recenter.

Swift as Wind (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 2
You can leap through the air as if on wires
All your jump and balance checks are made at half their normal DC rounded down. When you succeed on a check to jump down treat it as if they had jumped down 20 less feet instead of 10.

Shadow Knife Throw (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 2
You throw a knife behind the other so swift and perfectly that it flies in the shadow of the last.
When you attack with a missle weapon you may throw two missile weapons at once provided you can hold them both in one hand. This is a single attack but the opponent must make a reflex save (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier) or be hit by the second blade even if the fist one misses. This move reduces your range to Ĺ. This ability maybe stacked with other moves.

Level 3
1,000 Strike (Chakra)
Nei Jin: Level 3
The Nei Jins hand works in a blur exploding raining attack after attack down on his enemy
Through this complicated attack the Nei Jin weaves a tapestry of death. If the Nei Jin hits the foe with this attack they must make a will, fort and reflex save (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier). For each save they fail they take 1d10 damage and are stunned for 1 round in addition to normal damage. A stunned character canít act, loses any Dexterity bonus to AC, and takes a Ė2 penalty to AC. This move takes 1 round to recenter +1 additional round for each save the victim made. Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits cannot be stunned. This ability takes 1d4-1 rounds to recenter.

Aggressive Parry (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 3
As your opponent swoops in to attack instead of moving out the way you strike at their incoming attack with a skillful and swift attack of your own.
A Nei Jin with this technique can meet his opponents attack with an attack of his own. This can only be used against standard attacks, special or magical attacks cannot be aggrievedly parried. Instead of using their normal AC the Nei Jin makes a counter attack. Both the attacker and the Nei Jin make a combat roll with the higher of the two winning. The looser is automatically hit by the winner. This ability counts as an attack of opportunity and like an attack of opportunity cannot be repeated against same opponent unless the Nei Jin has combat reflexes and another attack of opportunity available to them.

Nimbus Halo Technique III (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You learn how to manipulate your personal aura to defend yourself
So long as you remain centered you gain damage resistance 3/-

Center (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You take a moment to calm yourself and summon your chakra back to its full power
You may spend one full round concentrating to speed up recentering yourself. If you do you regain you center 1d6 turns faster. This move requires concentration and is subject to disruption and attacks of opportunity as if the Nei Jin were casting a spell.


Excellence Defense (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You focus all your chakra on your speed making you appear to move in a blur
As an immediate action You gain a +5 bonus to your AC until your next turn. This move takes 1d4 rounds to recenter, if you used it on your turn it only takes 1 round to recenter.

Eye Gouge (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You savagely strike at your opponentís eyes attempting to claw them from their headÖor wherever
Whenever you roll max damage on an attack your opponent must make a either a reflex or fortitude save (DC 10+ Ĺ your level + your wis mod) or be blinded for 1 round. The creature must physically have eyes which the Nei Jin can reach to be subject to this attack.

Ear Clap (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You bring your strikes together on either side for your opponentís head disorienting them
Whenever you get a confirmed critical your opponent also suffers a stunning attack as per stunning fist.

Master Stride (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You learn to focus you chi into your feet and run across any surface
A Nei Jins control is so great that they can move over on walls, narrow surfaces or even water without penalty so long as they are centered and finish their move on normal solid ground.

Project Chi (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 3
The user draw backs their hand makes a quick series of moments then strikes out at a distant opponent as if they were right in front of them.
You may choose to make a melee attack as ranged one by projecting your chi. This is made as a touch attack and does no damage but will deliver any secondary effects of the attack such a stunning the opponent if used in conjunction with a stunning blow. The range for this move is 10 feet per Nei Jin level. This move may be used in conjuction with other move or Chakra attacks.

Spell Block (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You project your Chakra outward against an incoming spell partly negating it.
Whenever you are hit with a spell as an immediate action before damage is rolled you make use this ability. You project you chakra out to try and counter part of the incoming spell. All damage rolls for the spell are made at -1. This move takes 1 round to recenter from for every two levels of the spell round up.

Thunder Strike (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 3
You summon your Chakra and suddenly move in a spit second so fast you leave an after image as you strike leaving your foes unsure if you moved at all if not for the pain.
You make expend your chakra as an immediate action to make an attack of opportunity on any foes next to you. This attack must follow all the standard rules of an attack of opportunity. This move takes 1d4 round to recenter from.

Viper Style (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 3
By studying the snakes youíve learned the art of lighting fast lethal blows
Your critical threat range is increased to 20-17 with unarmed strikes.

4 Points
6 Secrets Attack (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 4

You perform 6 melee attacks all at your highest to hit or until you miss with an attack whichever comes first. The effect depends on the number that hit. This move takes 1d6+1 rounds to recenter from. Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits are immune to this attack.
Effect:
1. 2d10 Damage and opponent must make a fort save (DC10 +your wisdom mod + Ĺ your level) or be dazzled for 1 round.
2. 4d10 Damage and opponent must make a fort save (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier) or be stunned for 1 rounds.
3. 6d10 Damage and opponent must make a fort save (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier) or be knocked prone.
4. 8d10 Damage and opponent must make a fort save (DC 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Wis modifier) or be knocked unconscious for 1d4 rounds.
5 10d10 Damage and opponent must make a fort save (DC 10 + your character level + your Wis modifier) or be knocked unconscious for 1d4 rounds.
6. 100 points of damage and opponent must make a fort save (DC 10 + your character level + your Wis modifier) or be knocked unconscious for 2d4 rounds.

Arrow Throw (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 4
[i]You learn to project arrows with your chi launching them with inhuman force
You may throw arrows, bolts and other ammo weapons as if firing them from a long bow provided you can hold them in your hand. Additionally if you have the aggressive parry move you may attempt to catch that throw back projects fired at you provided they are small enough for your catch.

Nimbus Halo Technique IV (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 4
You learn how to manipulate your personal aura to defend yourself
So long as you remain centered you gain damage resistance 4/-

Counter Attack (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 4
You can use the split second a foe is off balance from attacking you to strike back at them
Whenever an opponent misses you in melee combat they provoke an attack of opportunity unless they were using a full attack.

Feedback (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 4
When you sense a mystical attack you project your chakra at it attempting to stifle the spell in a battle of wills.
As an immediate action whenever you are targeted with a Psionic, spell or spell like ability you can send waves of your chakra back at the Caster. You perform a touch attack against the caster if you hit you roll for damage though this attack deals none. The caster must then make a concentration check as though you just struck them for their ability fizzles. This does not work against area of effect abilities only abilities which specifically target you. This move takes 1 round to recenter from for each level of the spell, if the caster makes their concentration check it takes twice as long.

Inversion Blow (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 4
Your fist glow with a thousand twinkling light and you attempt to unleash that energy into an unnatural creature.
You deliver a massive blow dealing 10d10 damage and forcing the victim to make a saving throw (DC 10 + your character level + your Wis modifier) or suffer a -4 to their to hit and AC for 1 round per every two levels of the Nei Jin. Only Constructs, oozes, plants, undead, incorporeal creatures, and creatures immune to critical hits are vulnerable to this attack. This move takes 3d6 rounds to recenter from.

Killerís Touch (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 4
You focus yourself into making a single deadly attack
You may make a single attack each turn rather than your full attack. If that attack hits it is automatically threatens critical hit. The critical must still be confirmed as normal.

Leviathan Style (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 4
By studying the snakes youíve learned the art of lighting fast lethal blows
Your critical threat range is increased to 20-17 with unarmed strikes and you get a +3 on rolls to confirm criticals.

Ribbon Weave (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 4
The Nei Jin garments come to life swirling around them making it hard to tell where the Nei Jin is.
You can use any sort of flowing garment you wear for defense. As a move equivalent action you can use your chi to weaves your garment around you offering you partial concealment against all attacks. You are not impeded by your own garment at all. You must have a flowing garment to allow this move.

Scissor kick (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 4
You leap into the air and lash out with both legs
Whenever you are being flanked you can opt to make a scissor kick in place a normal attack of attack of opportunity. You must first make a jump check with a DC equal to your opponentís combined level. If you do you may attack both of them at your highest attack rating. If either of them are hit they lose the benefit of flanking you for one round, if both attacks miss you fall to the ground as though you failed your jump check. If you attempt to make more than one scissor kick in a single round the jump check difficulty increases by +10.

Shattering Blow (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 4
You know how to use an opening to strike brutally at your opponentís weak points putting all your force into a swift blow shattering your foes bones
Whenever you get a confirmed critical your foe also takes 1d4 points of constitution damage.

Spell Drain (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 4
You project your Chakra outward against an incoming spell partly negating it.
Whenever you are hit with a spell as an immediate action before damage is rolled you make use this ability. You project you chakra out to try and counter part of the incoming spell. All damage rolls for the spell are made with one lower dice. IE: d6 become d4. d4 becomes d2 and d2 becomes 0. This move takes 1 round to recenter from for every two levels of the spell round up.

5 Points
All World Attack (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You appear to flash in and out of all around your opponent attacking everywhere
You may activate this power as a free action. You gain two extra attacks this round at +15. Additionally your opponent is considered flanked for purposes of your attacks. This ability takes 1d4-1 rounds to recenter from.

Nimbus Halo Technique V (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You learn how to manipulate your personal aura to defend yourself
So long as you remain centered you gain damage resistance 5/-

Bend Fate (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 5
Using your Chakra you force a minor skip in time only you are aware of.
As an immediate action you may re-roll one combat roll. You must takes the second roll even if it is worse than your first roll. This move takes 2d8 rounds to recenter from.

Chakra Chain Attack (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You infuse yourself with chakra turning each attack into a devastating blow
You may activate this power as a swift action. When you use this power all your attacks for the round deal max damage. This power takes 2d4 rounds to recenter.

Perfect Form Technique (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You have practived for ages making your fighting form the peak of what it can be.
All you gain a +5 bonus to hit, damage and AC when fighting unarmed.

Recenter[b] (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You take a moment to calm yourself and summon your chakra back to its full power
You may spend one full round concentrating to recentering yourself. This move requires concentration and is subject to disruption and attacks of opportunity as if the Nei Jin were casting a spell.

[b]Snake Style Mastery (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 5
By studying the snakes youíve learned the art of lighting fast lethal blows
Your critical threat range is increased to 20-17 with unarmed strikes and you get a +6 to rolls to confirm criticals.

Style Change (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You flow into other styles from this one effortlessly like water running down stream.
A Nei Jin may adopt make use this ability to shift into a different style other than this one as a free and immediate action but only once per turn.

Unbeatable Superior Attack (Chakra)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You make a single massive attack sending a massive amount of Chi into your foe
Attack doing 8d10 damage. An opponent struck by this attack must make fort save (DC 10 + your Nei Jin level + wis mod) or reduced to half actions for 2d8 rounds. This ability takes 2d8 rounds to recenter from.

Uznes Effect (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You have mastered your ability to manipulate Chi so you can rechannel it while fighting
You may use wholeness of body as a free action and you gain twice as many HP as normal but take a -2 penalty to all attacks rolls you make this round.

Oversoul[b] (Technique)
Level: Nei Jin 5
[i]Youíre chi is so strong it cannot be long repressed.
Negative effects from your opponents only last half their normal duration rounded down.

[b]Wave Arrow Throw (Move)
Level: Nei Jin 5
You focus your Chi into a throwing weapon empowering it.
You focus your energies into your weapon empowering it as though it were an unarmed attack. When you use this move your missle attacks deal damage as if they were an unarmed attack instead of the normal damage the projectile would deal. This stacks with any magical bonuses the projectile might have. You lose 1 Hp for each missile weapon you throw this way. This ability maybe stacked with other moves.



New Feats
Weapon Adaptation
Prerequisite: Proficiency with the selected weapon
Bonus: You may use one specific weapon as if it were an unarmed strike in terms of damage, to hit bonuses, Ki Strike and Piercing Strike. This ability does not allow you to make unarmed Chakra Attacks or moves with the weapon nor does it give any other bonuses which you unarmed strikes might have. You may take this feat multiple times.

EENick
2009-06-07, 02:52 AM
Comments? Feedback? Please and thank you in advance.

Pramxnim
2009-06-07, 06:22 AM
Hi there. Just like you provided feedback for me in my other thread, I'll try my best to do the same. Forgive me in advance for being forthright while answering your questions:

A. I'm afraid the Nei Jin needs a lot of work on the wording of its abilities before it is clear to everyone how they work.

B. They seem quite underpowered. The AC bonus is double a monk's, the BAB is now good, but 2 saves were reduced to medium, Flurry is gone (replaced with the much inferior Beat Rush). Certain Martial Arts abilities seem overpowered at first glance though, like the 6 Secret Attacks one. I'll detail this more below.

C. The have the potential to be quite fun. However I feel they don't have enough access to their martial arts abilities (due to a severe lack of style points). I'd add their Wisdom modifier to the number of style points they possess, just so they can have more cool techniques and be less limiting to a player at early levels.

Now for a more in-depth view of the class.

First up, class features:

Firstly, how do you recenter yourself? Is it a state of focus like Psionic Focus? What kind of action does it take? Skill checks? The questions go on. The mechanics of this simple action are left unclear, and hence other mechanics that depend on this are also iffy until it is fixed.


Martial Arts: Martial Arts are abilities both mundane and supernatural that a Nei Jin learns throughout travels. A Nei Jin may know an unlimited number of martial arts abilities however they cannot possibly use them all at once. A Nei Jin must incorporate these moves into their fighting styles and refocus their energies in order to take advantage of them. After a day of practice and concentration a Nei Jin may change one of their fighting styles. They may assign any number of martial arts moves to their new style provided they donít go over their style point limit. Styles can be adopted or switch as a swift action provided the used is only wearing padded armor (though they may wear ceremonial armor provided it is light and doenít provide more than a +1 bonus to their AC). Nei Jin encumbered or in medium/heavy armor cannot use any of their martial arts abilities or adopt one of their stances.

The whole passage leaves me scratching my head figuring out how styles work. A Nei Jin may know an unlimited amount of martial arts abilities, but do they possess knowledge of all the abilities listed in the spoiler block once they gain access to them or do they hand pick a few abilities when they level. This should be made clear.
A Nei Jin can't have access to all of the moves at the same time. Fair enough. They may change their fighting styles every day given that they don't exceed their style points, fair enough. But the next sentence, where you say "styles can be adopted or switch (it should be switched) as a swift action" really confuses me. So you start a day and choose to assign moves to a new style that you will use for that day. However, you can switch out of that style as a swift action? Wha? As written, this effectively means that you can have access to any and all moves as a swift action. Just switch to a new style, use your martial arts, and say "my new style that I just switched to has that move". Clearly this is not your intention, but the intention is not being expressed clear enough here.

EDIT: I just read the table and noticed the number of styles known. Now I understand that you can change the moves associated with one of your fighting styles, and during the day, you may switch between your available fighting styles as a swift action. The fact that I needed to go to the table, double back to the text and do so again to figure this out means that the text is poorly worded. There was no mention of having multiple fighting styles, nor of a limit to those. It would have proved to be very helpful to have those here.


Unarmed Strike (Ex): A Nei Jin gains Improved Unarmed Strike as a bonus feat at first level. In addition, their unarmed strikes is more accurate and deals improved damage according to her level, as displayed on the table below. Unlike monks Nei Jin warriors cannot normally use their unarmed damage table for weapons even special monk weapons.

The wording for this one is wonky and does not cover the range of effects that the monk's ability of the same name has (unarmed strike as both manufactured and natural weapon etc.). I suggest you just use the monk's ability, and replace monk by nei jin. Furthermore, monks don't deal their unarmed damage with their special monk weapons. Nowhere does it say that in their entry in the PHB (unless you are referencing a different monk that I know nothing of).

Unbreakable Aura: You might want to specify that those are maneuvers from ToB classes (or risk unnecessary confusion), and state that they can be overcome with with an Initiator level check (d20 + Initiator Level). Same for Psionics. Saying just Psi is a bit... I dunno, don't hate me for this but it gives me a lazy vibe from the creator, and it's not a good sign if your players think you were lazy in designing the class.
Also, the resistance value is way too weak, even weaker than a normal monk's (which caps at 30. I can't really see a player achieving a +18 Wisdom modifier pre-epic, and not even then...). It amounts to little more than a non-existing defense mechanic, I'm sorry to say.


Now for the martial arts abilities themselves

Please stick to the normal conventions when writing the ability descriptions. I know intuitively that "sudden action" refers to an "immediate action", and "damage resistance" is just "damage reduction", but it wouldn't hurt to just stick to how it's written in the rules themselves and save the players a swift action to associate them :smalltongue:

I don't understand what the word "removes" adds to the phrase "immediately removes and leaps to his feet" in Acrobatic Stand. Your intentions, I'm afraid, were not carried across here.

Beat Rush: The wording on this needs fixing, and the ability itself is way too weak. I'd make it Flurry of Blows (Extra attack, -2 to all attack rolls for that round) and call it a day. Introduce greater versions of this at higher levels too. I like the nod to FFVII, but Tifa would be ashamed of her technique, seeing it like this :smalltongue:

Flying Jump Kick: Make this part of a charge, and maybe make up benefits based on your jump check at the end. It's too weak as it is now.

Three Forms Attack: Highly misleading name. You should change it or actually make it seem like it fits the name. Rerolls are nice though.

Nei Jiney Style: The name... um... leaves much to be desired? You missed a "you" in the description sentence.

Summersault Kick: It's Somersault, but hey, typos are common, and Summersault actually sounds funnier :smallsmile:. So a level 20 Nei Jin that succeeds on his Jump check makes a 55 feet backflip? Wow... wow... so... cool! Quick, you must include an explanation on projectile motion and make a conjecture on the maximum height a Nei Jin achieves with this ability to prevent players from doing this in a place with a low ceiling (j/k). But seriously, 10-15 feet is probably enough for this ability, and just make it so that you don't provoke AoOs from it instead of adding to the tumble check.

Triskelion Step: Um, the Nei Jin as written does not have any speed bonus, and he may wear padded armour without losing his abilities, so I'd hardly call it an unarmoured speed bonus.

Twin Knife Attack: Too many penalties to achieve too little. No seriously, I don't see anyone using weapons on a Nei Jin since they get lower BAB for those and deal a lot less damage. Maybe if you simplify this ability into "use a standard action to throw two thrown weapons at no penalty" I'd be happy to take it.

LEVEL 2

Chain Attack: You know, this technique actually gets weaker at higher levels, where you're pretty much guaranteed not to hit with all your attacks due to high enemy AC. Most useful at lower levels where you only get one attack, and it's guaranteed to deal maximum damage if it hits. I'd give bonus damage depending on the number of attacks that hit this round instead. Say +2 for 1, +4 for 2 etc.

Katra Attack: Pretty neat. I'd review the ability for typos though. In fact, the whole class should be gone over with a fine tooth comb for errors. They're not egregiously obvious, but they do detract from one's enjoyment of the class.

Minor Transcendence: Very weak for this level unless you have a very very high Wis mod. Even then I'd take another ability over it, unless this applies to saves as well (is that your intention? If so, some specification would be nice).

Stunning Blow: It's just Stunning Fist. I'd give it to them as a bonus feat and call it a day.

Stunning Kick: Better than Stunning Blow in almost every case, especially at higher levels, since Reflex saves progress the slowest over the levels (i.e. higher CR monsters often have lower Reflex saves compared to other saves). In contrast, Fort saves are the highest at higher levels. I approve of this ability though, it's very neat. But maybe you should make it a technique that powers Stunning Fist instead of a Chakra.

Stunning Strike: More of the same, really. I'd make a technique that allows you to force an opponent saving against your Stunning Fist to use his weakest save instead of making up three abilities like this, but whatever floats your boat (hey, you just give me an idea for a new tattoo, thanks EENick!).
PS: You forgot to label this and Stunning Kick as Chakra abilities.

Swift as Wind: I find a "the" between "as" and "Wind" makes it more elegant. A nifty ability, but what out for those little errors (you used "you" at the beginning of a sentence, then ended with "they")

Shadow Knife Throw: This ability is underpowered since it imposes a range penalty on the already short ranged thrown weapons. I understand the real world logic behind it, but a "slight" suspension of disbelief is often required for D&D.

LEVEL 3

1000 Strike: It's quite powerful, perhaps too powerful. Forcing 3 saves and imposing a maximum penalty of 3 rounds stunned? 1 Stunned round can kill a person, 3 is just too much. I'd make the maximum amount of time the target may be stunned 1 round, but increase the damage dealt. Also, you've stated 2 conflicting recenter times for this ability. Might wanna look into that.

Excellence Defense: Should be Excellent Defense (minor nitpick).

Eye Gouge: I don't think players are gonna pay enough attention to use this ability. Maybe make it into a Stunning Fist attack or a Chakra attack.

Ear Clap: Ah, see, you do reference Stunning Fist. This further supports the idea that the 3 Stunning series of attacks should be folded into one and be used to augment stunning fist.

Spell Block: Damage spells are highly uncommon at this level (people like to use save or dies), and the damage reduction is too small to matter.

Thunder Strike: Again, a fairly weak ability. It needs some additional benefit to the AoO.

LEVEL 4

6 Secret Attacks: This might be too powerful, but... nah it's not. It's ok. Rarely will you hit with all six attacks, and if you do, by gods you deserve to laugh maniacally and watch the opponent fall unconscious (or better, perish). Thumbs up! You might wanna fix the wording though, to make it seem more uniform and professional.

Arrow Throw: It's quite cool, but are you considered proficient in their use? Otherwise that -4 to attack could be a bit daunting.

Counter Attack: I think you should get an attack for every time they miss you. Every time, provide you have the AoOs of course.

Feedback: No, I'm afraid I don't understand what this ability is supposed to achieve. You did not list the DC for the Concentration check, and even though one will be quick to assume it's 10 + Damage dealt by your roll (including Str bonus? other bonuses?), the players will have then used up their swift action for this round and thus rendered incapable of performing this move. :smallamused:

Inversion Blow: What saving throw? Fort? Ref? Will? DC 30 + Wis might be a bit too much, though I don't mind 12 + 1/2 HD + Wis or something similar.

Killer's Touch: What action is this?

Leviathan Style: I'd take Viper Style over this any day. A.n.y. d.a.y. It needs a buff, and fast

LEVEL 5

All World Attack: Why is this weaker than a Monk's Flurry of Blows and still cost so much? You've gone through the trouble of giving the class full BAB, just say you get 2 extra attacks at full BAB, and be done with it. I'd make this a technique too. Nah, 6 attacks at +20/+20/+20/+15/+10/+5 is not that bad. Really. You're still quite MAD, remember?

Bend Fate: It's worse than Three Forms Attack, and that's saying something. Sure you can reroll a saving throw with it, but... but... why? Luck Feats do a better job than this, even though they are 1/day.

Chakra Chain Attack: Nice. This actually provides good synergy with Eye Gouge and Ear Clap. I didn't notice this before, but with it, maybe you don't have to change the other 2 abilities.

Perfect Form Technique: Ah, this seems a bit overpowered. Firstly, they are untyped bonuses and thus stack with everything else. Then there's the thing about you already giving the class +10 AC + Wis + 6 (from a +5 Padded Armour). It needs to be something other than a technique. Maybe a Chakra that lasts for a certain number of rounds, similar to the Barb's Rage (including the fatigue).

Snake Style Mastery: Umm, no I'll take Perfect Form Technique and Viper Style, thank you very much.

Style Change: Nah, changing styles is already a swift action. I don't wanna spend 1/2 my style points for this and end up with a severely weakened style. This would be a bit more viable as a level 2 style ability or something.


Phew, that's a lot of stuff to go through. I now know how it feels to review the Tattooed Monk. Geez, it goes to show how much effort you and Cieyrin put into that activity.

I do not intend to sound snarky or offensive, but I apologise if that's how my comments felt to you.