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Megatron46
2009-06-18, 12:29 AM
Okay.... now depending on who is writing him Wolvie can be a good, or just a sodding annoying, character! Therefore, the obvious next step is; if he's annoying, how do we kill him?

Questions to consider; can he regrow body parts? Can he regrow his head? Can a light saber cut through adamantium? Can you dislocate an adamantium skeleton and then rip it's arms off (he doesn't have adamantium tendons and muscles)? Can he survive without oxygen?

Any takers please!

Xondoure
2009-06-18, 12:33 AM
Very simple; remove plot armor.

If I wasn't going to cop out though, I would probably go with placing him in space to keep his heal factor occupied with oxygen, draw out the adamantine with Magneto, and have Jean Grey Disperse his atoms, and break them down into gold.

Innis Cabal
2009-06-18, 12:33 AM
Throw him into the sun. Problem solved

toasty
2009-06-18, 12:35 AM
First: lots of tranquilizer darts.

Then: lots of chemicals that will make him stay asleep.

Then: Skin him. With a machine. That way I don't hear the screams or whatever. He should be drugged though.

Erm... he's now a metal skeleton.

revolver kobold
2009-06-18, 12:36 AM
This should do the trick. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raufoss_Mk_211) Just replace the tungsten penetrator with adamantium, and if that doesn't kill him, it should slow him down enough so you can quickly think of something else. Like lots of fire.

North
2009-06-18, 12:37 AM
Chop him with the Muramasa blade, it ignores his healing factor.

Trizap
2009-06-18, 12:37 AM
I would first rip out all of wolverines adamantium bones out his body.

then I would throw all his fleshy parts into the sun.

then I would burn everything that remains, then break down the ashes at the subatomic level.

then I will nuke the area where he died once or twice, just to be sure.

Alteran
2009-06-18, 12:42 AM
"Disintegrate!"

...is that cheating? Probably is.

Trizap
2009-06-18, 12:44 AM
"Disintegrate!"

...is that cheating? Probably is.

no its not, cause its not enough, you still need to nuke a few times then throw him into the sun, then nuke the sun.

or alternatively, send Wolverine back in time to the big bang.

Xondoure
2009-06-18, 12:52 AM
Even that is not enough, Wolverine's power functions to the need of plot. Thus, his plot armor is invincible. If you wanted to permanently stop him, you could always throw him into the negative zone or Limbo for a while.

Worira
2009-06-18, 12:53 AM
Stab in eye with giant syringe. Suck out brain. Inject brain into blender full of acid.

Trizap
2009-06-18, 12:58 AM
Stab in eye with giant syringe. Suck out brain. Inject brain into blender full of acid.

...........then nuke it, throw it into the sun, nuke the sun, and throw whatever remains into the big bang in the past!

Jamin
2009-06-18, 12:59 AM
Slowly and painfully

Worira
2009-06-18, 01:06 AM
...........then nuke it, throw it into the sun, nuke the sun, and throw whatever remains into the big bang in the past!

Nah, the blender full of acid should do.

Avilan the Grey
2009-06-18, 01:08 AM
First question is "which Wolverine"?

Normal Wolverine or "Ultimate" Wolverine?

Trizap
2009-06-18, 01:08 AM
Nah, the blender full of acid should do.

yea, with nukes and suns

Worira
2009-06-18, 01:09 AM
Uh, no. With acid and sharp spinning things.

chiasaur11
2009-06-18, 01:25 AM
Have Squirrel Girl do it.

If she won't, as Wolverine isn't a bad guy and heroes don't kill, calmly accept it and later, slip Rex the Wonderdog a fiver to make it look like an accident.

If both options are unavailable, one remains. Be Herbie Popnecker.

Serenity
2009-06-18, 01:45 AM
First off, taking away the adamantium is a bad idea. When Magneto did that, Wolverine's healing factor increased exponentially, because it was no longer occupied with keeping him alive in spite of the metal grafted to his bones.

So chamber up a gun with lots and lots of adamantium bullets, and shoot until you run out. Focus fire on the head--damage to the brain will screw him up, even if he can recover from it. Once the barrage has got him down, take an adamantium or energy sword and cut his head off. Throw that into a barrel of acid, and seal it. Throw his body into the ocean, where the adamantium will cause it to sink fast. In fact, chop it up and throw it in in pieces.

Ravens_cry
2009-06-18, 01:45 AM
Lure Logan into a room, a few mooks should do it and using six super strong electromagnets at each corner of an axis, hold him balanced between the opposing forces. Then drop him in a big old tub of adamantine, using two of the magnets to hold him in place vertically. Once done, close the lid on the tub, tub and lid should pre-set admantine of course, then let the adamantine set, holding Logan in place with the magnets, pulsing them so that molten admantine can maintain contact with Logans outer surface. Basically what we are going for is "Han Solo in Carbonite", only with no protruding face. Then, we simply keep the box heated to some temperature that can melt steel. If you can succeed at all these steps, you have effectively neutralized Wolverine. He can not cut his way out as adamantine, unlike other materials, can't cut itself. And even if it could, he has no leverage as he is sealed tight. And furthermore, the box is heated, keeping his healing factor at work 24/7. I presented this plan before, modified as I realized if magnetic fields could keep Logan spread eagle and constrained, they would also affect the molten adamantine been used as the the building material of his prison.

Trizap
2009-06-18, 02:56 AM
Uh, no. With acid and sharp spinning things.

and after that, nukes and suns.

ImmortalAer
2009-06-18, 03:12 AM
...wouldn't the simplest way possible to kill him, is just drowning him? You can't "regenerate" air. So, just hold him face first in a flooded toliet for a hour or two for good measure, then cut some skin away to see if he's still alive. If so, keep him down.

And then dump the body in the ocean, just to make sure. He regenerates, not breathes water like a fish. A few dozen cinder blocks could be included for insurance.

Megatron46
2009-06-18, 03:12 AM
Excellent,

Mwaaa haaa haaa haaa

Now you have all proven yourselves as masters of killing the unkillable! Now is the real point of this thread!

How the hell do you get Optimus Prime to stay dead? He just keeps coming back damnit!

ImmortalAer
2009-06-18, 03:18 AM
Excellent,

Mwaaa haaa haaa haaa

Now you have all proven yourselves as masters of killing the unkillable! Now is the real point of this thread!

How the hell do you get Optimus Prime to stay dead? He just keeps coming back damnit!

Unfortunately, Prime is invunerable, having escaped every possible death in the old shows, and is now unkillable/unhurtable in the new one. :smallannoyed:

Does anyone know where to pick up the first 1 - 3 seasons of Beasties?

Green Bean
2009-06-18, 03:21 AM
Does anyone know where to pick up the first 1 - 3 seasons of Beasties?

Ah, there's Optimus' true vulnerability; sales figures. :smallamused:

Avilan the Grey
2009-06-18, 03:30 AM
...wouldn't the simplest way possible to kill him, is just drowning him? You can't "regenerate" air. So, just hold him face first in a flooded toliet for a hour or two for good measure, then cut some skin away to see if he's still alive. If so, keep him down.

And then dump the body in the ocean, just to make sure. He regenerates, not breathes water like a fish. A few dozen cinder blocks could be included for insurance.

That's why I want to know which Wolverine.
Ultimate Wolverine (From the Ultimate series) does not know how immortal he is until his fight with the Hulk:

It turns out he has misunderstood his powers: He has no "Healing Factor"; his "healing" powers are simply the "Power to Survive at all costs (ultra-adaptable body)".
He himself is very surprised when Nick Fury cuts his head off, and keeps it on a table (during their conversation):
It turns out his cells quickly adapted to absorb oxygen through the skin (among other things) so that it could breathe without lungs. In that discussion it is suggested by Fury that if they launched Logan into space his body would just turn off until it found livable conditions again.

TSED
2009-06-18, 03:48 AM
Simple: tell the CEO of Marvel that Wolverine is costing them sales, and get a high bluff check on it.



Bam. He'd be dead forever in a month.

charl
2009-06-18, 03:57 AM
Carbodinium synthesizer to make lots of bullets out of... well carbodinium, then assault helicopter with Gatling gun. Good buy healing factor.

Or somehow steal that magic katana sword thingie that supposedly can kill him.

EDIT: It also occurs to me that dropping him into the Mariana Trench should do the trick. His bones are covered with metal, so he's gonna sink (you could just add some weight otherwise). He can't generate when the pressure compresses his body into the size of a grape.

Weiser_Cain
2009-06-18, 03:59 AM
Make him black, eventually he'll be killed by a sabeetooth clone wielding the simulated power cosmic and a large trout.

Belial_the_Leveler
2009-06-18, 04:32 AM
Most Marvel superheroes have mutation-based powers, right?

1st attempt:
Step 1: Syringe full of proteolytic enzymes.
Step 2: Load dart gun.
Step 3: Shoot Wolverine.
Step 4: All his proteins, including his DNA, dissolve into goo. Now his powers cease functioning and he dies.

2nd attempt:
Step 1: Big Magnet.
Step 2: Cool Wolverine down thoroughly.
Step 3: His metabolism stops due to hypothermia. This is not damage of the body; biological processes simply can't happen without specific temperatures.
Step 4: Irradiate until his DNA is totally fried. If he didn't die at step 3, he dies now.


The above attempts are fully doable with current RL technology BTW.

Oslecamo
2009-06-18, 04:39 AM
The irony of this thread is that Wolverine has already been killed. In a rather simple way.

Wolverine: Hey, a sentinel, throw me against it Colossus!
Colossus: Ok dokey(throws)
Sentinel turns around and fires hand laser, disintrigating Wolverine's whole body, leaving only a charred adamantium skeleton behind.


No, it's true, it hapened! It was in the whole saga where the sentinels took over the world in the future due to a mutant killing an important politician, and then almost all the X-men crew gets slaughtered trying to send Kitty into the past so she can change it.

Wich shows how immortal Wolverine is. Even if you kill him, his teammates will rape the time line to revive him!

Archonic Energy
2009-06-18, 04:41 AM
1. Dump into space...
2. ???
3. Profit

with the tempreture & a lack of O2 coupled with a vacumesp it should take care of him... even if he eventually drifts into a life sustaining planet & suvived re-entry he'll still be far from Earth...

TSED
2009-06-18, 04:43 AM
1. Dump into space...
2. ???
3. Profit

with the tempreture & a lack of O2 coupled with a vacumesp it should take care of him... even if he eventually drifts into a life sustaining planet & suvived re-entry he'll still be far from Earth...

That's happened before. He survived.

Archonic Energy
2009-06-18, 04:53 AM
That's happened before. He survived.

Sheez! :smallsigh:
did they push him AWAY from earth?
as my mother always said "if you want something thrown into the sun..."

technically possible with current tech
Bury him on the moon... lets see him jump back to Earth!
dump him on Venus... ZE GOGGLES ZEY DO NOTHING! :smallcool:

can i push him beyond the singularity of a black hole?
has that been done?

BlueWizard
2009-06-18, 04:55 AM
Hot lava pit.

Mount Doom might work.

Starscream
2009-06-18, 04:56 AM
<Truly incredible amount of nerdiness ahoy>

I love the Squirrel Girl idea. Probably the only way to be sure.

Anyone here read Agent X? The hero in that series has Deadpool's healing factor, and Deadpool got his from the DNA of Wolverine. Therefore their healing powers are identical and anything that kills Agent X should theoretically work on Logan as well.

There is a scene in that book wherein the protagonist takes a bullet to the trachea. It gets lodged in there, blocking the supply of oxygen to his brain. With his brain dying, his healing factor can't do diddly to save him. Even though it can repair tissue damage, it can't create oxygen out of thin air (well, okay, you know what I mean). Agent X comes within a hairsbreadth of dying. He is eventually saved by an emergency tracheotomy from X-Men villain Arcade.

So there you have it: just as the way to deal with a zombie is "Kill the brain, kill the ghoul", here we have "Starve the brain, stop the healing factor". Of course, a bullet probably won't work on Wolverine because of his adamantium skeletal system, but there are plenty of other ways to deny him oxygen. Drowning, burying, exposure to the vacuum of space.

Of course, some writer will totally ignore the definition of Brain Death and have him spontaneously resurrect next time he is exposed to air. The only way to really eliminate such a character is to find a way to make him stop selling so many blasted books. Or have him marry Spider-Man, that could work too.

That's how you kill him. How could you beat him? How about by pitting him against pretty much every other X-Man in existence? Seriously, this is a Nerd-Rage inducing pet peeve of mine. Logan is treated as being pretty much an unstoppable killing machine but logically, most of the other characters could handle him.

Storm could put a bolt of lightning through his skeleton. Magneto could toss him into orbit. Nightcrawler could embed him in a wall. Ice-Man could freeze and shatter him. Rogue just needs to touch him. Cyclops just needs to look at him funny. Professor X, Jean, Emma and even those creepy little girls just need to think at him.

Sure, he'd probably survive these attempts, but it always frustrated me that he was treated as such a badass when his most notable power is that he will eventually recover. Glass Joe has that.

<End nerdiness. For now>

KIDS
2009-06-18, 04:58 AM
I have a simpler solution :)

"In your country, you kill Wolverine. In Soviet Russia, Wolverine kills you!"

TSED
2009-06-18, 05:43 AM
On the "survived re-entry" bit...


He burned away. Except for his skeleton.

Then DNA INSIDE the adamantium skeleton regenerated the entirety of Wolverine, memories and all.


There is absolutely no way to kill him until people stop buying him. Seriously.


Other people with the EXACT SAME healing process can't do that, only Wolverine. Deadpool almost died because his head got cut off, despite having regenerated from a puddle of vomit once. About 30 issues back.

In short: wth, writers? wth.

Kobold-Bard
2009-06-18, 05:51 AM
Bottom of the ocean. Even if he does survive, there's no way he's getting back to the surface. Job done, lets go get drunk and celebrate the newfound safety of our internal organs.

Edit: Unless of course some Atlantean rescues him. If this happens we simply send him up against Mr. Rogers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WgT9gy4zQA) and the problem sorts itself out.

SnowballMan
2009-06-18, 05:57 AM
Infect Leach with a contagious virulent virus. Have Wolverine babysit for a few days.

"Aw come one Logan, give the kid a hug."


This of course presumes that Leach is still a kid. I haven't really read comics in a while and with the way Marvel ages characters, I say the odds are 50/50 he's still a kid.

charl
2009-06-18, 06:03 AM
Infect Leach with a contagious virulent virus. Have Wolverine babysit for a few days.

"Aw come one Logan, give the kid a hug."


This of course presumes that Leach is still a kid. I haven't really read comics in a while and with the way Marvel ages characters, I say the odds are 50/50 he's still a kid.

I'm pretty sure Leach was depowered by M-day.

WitchSlayer
2009-06-18, 06:59 AM
Have Cyclops look him straight in the eye.
With no visor.
Behold, Wolverine.
OPTIC BLAST

Finn Solomon
2009-06-18, 07:07 AM
Do the Adam Munroe thing, lock him in an adamantium tomb with no air.

Kobold-Bard
2009-06-18, 07:09 AM
I'm pretty sure Leach was depowered by M-day.

Haven't read it, but wasn't it him that de-powered Mr. M(?) so they could kill him.

Hunter Noventa
2009-06-18, 07:17 AM
I think tossing him into a black hole would be the best way. I'm not sure how he would heal from his body and skeleton being crushing into a dense ball too small to be seen with anything short of an electron microscope.

Dorizzit
2009-06-18, 07:25 AM
I would sever his head from his body, and then immediately place both parts in three foot thick adamantium lockers fitted exactly to the size and shape of each part. I would then chuck both lockers into the Mariana Trench.

Dinvan
2009-06-18, 07:30 AM
I was under the assumption that wolverine was almost invincible with his healing powers but he lacked the offensive power to really be any kind of threat to the big bads alone ?

Avilan the Grey
2009-06-18, 07:48 AM
I was under the assumption that wolverine was almost invincible with his healing powers but he lacked the offensive power to really be any kind of threat to the big bads alone ?

Depending on what you call a "Big Bad".

He has tried in several of Marvel's universes to kill Hulk. The two fights I recall ended in different ways:

First one, in regular Marvelverse, was stopped by someone (don't remember) after Hulk had grown back a sliced heart (much to Logan's surprise; he concluded it must be because "Hulk is essentially a large cancer tumor, growing very quickly). However Hulks attacks on him was just as futile.

In Ultimate Marvel the (correct, IMHO) conclusion was that although Logan's spine is covered in adamantium, the soft tissue between them is not... Hulk litterary ripped him in half and threw his lower body some 20 miles. That pissed him off.

As for other "Big Bads"... again what is your definition of a Big Bad? He usually fights skilled but only semi-powerful beings (super assassins, others like him (Sabretooth, lady deathstrike, whatahaveyou), but he should be able to take out or pose a serious threat to any being not using "mental or magic powers". Logan's problem is that he lacks distance weapons, but if he connects, the fact that his claws cuts through basically anything means that he could kill say Thor in a single strike.

Linkavitch
2009-06-18, 07:58 AM
Has this been said before? Cut off his head. See if that works.

Hit him with the death star's laser.

bosssmiley
2009-06-18, 08:08 AM
Hire Rob Liefeld to draw him. Character killed.

...

Then have Warren Ellis rehabilitate the character a few years down the line. :smallwink:

Flame of Anor
2009-06-18, 08:22 AM
throw him into the sun, then nuke the sun

I'm sorry, you fail astrophysics. Let me remind you that the sun is a nuke. :smallwink:


I do like the Death Star idea, though. That's the simplest of the very few that seem like they'd work.

Megatron46
2009-06-18, 08:24 AM
Hire Rob Liefeld to draw him.

(Ah Rob Liefeld. Ever an over-rated 'talent'! Youngblood was poor!!!!!)

Got to say though, I'd never thought about the whole eye socket- brain thing! You could pour...say...molten lava into an eye socket and let it destroy his brain...COOL!

GoC
2009-06-18, 08:25 AM
20d6 damage per round.


1. Dump into space...
2. ???
3. Profit

with the tempreture & a lack of O2 coupled with a vacumesp it should take care of him... even if he eventually drifts into a life sustaining planet & suvived re-entry he'll still be far from Earth...

That should actually work... Except for the fact that in Marvel lifebearing planets are an average distance of a million miles from eachother. In the real world he could drift for the rest of eternity.

Dinvan
2009-06-18, 08:37 AM
Depending on what you call a "Big Bad".



The big bad, as in the antagonist/bad guy of the story.

Archonic Energy
2009-06-18, 08:53 AM
20d6 damage per round.

That should actually work... Except for the fact that in Marvel lifebearing planets are an average distance of a million miles from each other. In the real world he could drift for the rest of eternity.

HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astronomical_unit)

ps: that isn't directed at you, but Marvel.

Mr. Mud
2009-06-18, 09:38 AM
HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astronomical_unit)


...


That should actually work... Except for the fact that in Marvel lifebearing planets are an average distance of a million miles from each other. In the real world he could drift for the rest of eternity.


An astronomical unit (abbreviated as AU, au, a.u., or sometimes ua) is a unit of length roughly equal to the mean distance between the Earth and the Sun. It is approximately 150 million kilometres (93 million miles).

...? :smallconfused:.

Nextly, if it is direct at Marvel, that's not logical. A comic book company premised around superhumans and the supernatural, isn't going to be, nor is it trying to be, scientifically accurate. Example (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Men).
It's like saying D&D is flawed because there is no such thing as "magic".

Set
2009-06-18, 09:45 AM
Questions to consider; can he regrow body parts?

Definitely. Sabertooth, who has similar regeneration, has been shown regrowing his heart after it was ripped out of his chest, and regenerating brain damage as well.


Can he regrow his head?

Probably. Given the Sabertooth brain-regeneration, he might even get his sparkling personality back. Or not. He's always been prone to forgetting stuff, so perhaps his brain is a little squishier than Creeds.

The *real* question is; If I cut off Wolverine's head, does it grow a new body, and does his body grow a new head? Would there be *two of them?*

(The body would grow a new head with a non-adamantium-reinforced skull, and the head would grow a new body with a non-adamantium-reinforced skeleton, but, otherwise, they'd be pretty similar...)


Can a light saber cut through adamantium?

The Clone Wars cartoon has established that there are substances that lightsabers can't cut through (General Greivous' guards have electro-shock battle-staves made of this substance). So I'd assume that adamantium is good enough to also be un-light-saber-able.

Something that operated through nuclear forces (unbinding things at the molecular level) would probably cut right through adamantium as easily as cheesecloth, but the only people who work on that level are characters like Sersi and the Molecule Man.

Silver Samurai has been demonstrated to not be able to 'cut it,' and he's the only Marvel 'energy sword' guy who has gone up against him.


Can you dislocate an adamantium skeleton and then rip it's arms off (he doesn't have adamantium tendons and muscles)?

Pulling the femurs out of the hip bones or the humerus out of the ball socket thingie in the shoulder would require being able to deform the bone, which is coated with unbreakium, so probably not those.

But it would be easy enough to cut between bones, where only tendons and cartiledge hold stuff together, such as at the elbow or knee, or, best of all, anywhere along the spinal column between hips and ribcage (cutting him in half, with no pesky adamantium to stop ya, sliding between the vertebrae), or between the shoulders and skull (again, sliding between the vertebrae, which would make it no harder, or easier, than chopping through a normal human body in those places).

Someone able to hold him down and pin his wrists (which would be about half of the people in the Marvel Universe, as super-strength and / or reflexes is pretty common, and Wolverine has neither) so that he can't bring his cutlery to bear could probably take him apart.

But then we're back to the 'do the parts grow new Wolverines?' Cutting him apart at knee, waist, elbow and neck only creates the horrible possibility that you'll have to deal with seven Wolverines in an hour or so.

And then there'll be one in the X-Men and one in X-Force and one in the Avengers, and... oh wait...

Stay tuned for the all-new Fantastic Four, with Jimmy Howlett, Logan Barrington, Patch and Weapon X!


Can he survive without oxygen?

A situation that a person couldn't survive in, such as a high radiation environment, airless environment, the crushing depths of the ocean floor, prolonged exposure to antarctic conditions, etc. would probably 'kill' him, until he was removed from that situation, at which point his regeneration would revive him. One whiff of oxygen, and he'd wake up and be cranky.


Really 'though, he's got Plot Immunity as his primary power, so no matter what you do, he'll be back.

Throw him into the sun? Some blood of his (from the thousands of gallons he's shed during the average Frank Miller run) will have been saved and he'll be cloned and Professor X or Psylocke (each of whom has been traipsing all through his head) will make sure that the clone 'is really him' by re-downloading his memories or whatever. Or he'll pull a Darwin and uber-mutate to survive the sun, and come back as a flaming horseman of the apocalypse or something...

Throw him into a black hole? It will turn out to be the other side of the white hole that used to empower Binary, and he'll come bursting out of Carol Danvers in a method not unlike Athena tearing herself out of Zeus, but many times squickier.

Heck, he's got no super-strength, and so long as he can't move his hands, he can't do squat with his claws, so it would be simple enough to shackle him in a position where he can't claw anything, and then pour a concrete foundation over him. It's the 'what do you do with a witch?' scenario. Build a bridge out of him! (And then some fool will bust him out.)

Strip his powers away? He'll get them back.

Rip the metal out of his bones? Some fool will put it back.

Stick him in Limbo, where the universal laws are different and S'ym can snap adamantium like pretzels and has already permanantly killed the Wolverine of another universe? He'll kick S'ym's butt inexplicably, and probably end up ruler of Limbo...

Pit him against the Hulk or Thor, who have been shown denting and deforming adamantium? He'll still somehow manage to at least look bad@$$, despite being, in the words of Jean Grey, the mutant equivalent of 'a firecracker trying to threaten an atom bomb.'

Wanda says, 'No more Wolverine?' She'll change her mind soon enough. And then sleep with him, which seems to be what she does after killing a fellow hero, if her hookup with the resurrected Hawkeye is any indication.

HealthKit
2009-06-18, 09:50 AM
I think tossing him into a black hole would be the best way. I'm not sure how he would heal from his body and skeleton being crushing into a dense ball too small to be seen with anything short of an electron microscope.

You'd think that's work, but he'd probably survive... just because he's Wolverine.

Mr. Mud
2009-06-18, 09:58 AM
The hulk tore Wolverine in half (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultimate_Wolverine_vs._Hulk#Issue_One), and then he retrieved his still admantium encased legs... If I'm not mistaken. This means that wolverine would probably try and retrieve his head, with his decapitated body, put it in it's normal resting place, and waiting for the skin to regrow...

Belial_the_Leveler
2009-06-18, 09:59 AM
1) Steal the Ultimate Nullifier. Yeah, that Ultimate Nullifier.
2) Destroy the Phoenix, the life-force of all beings in the Universe.
3) All living things in the Marvel Universe eventually die, including Wolverine.
4) .... Profit!

Set
2009-06-18, 10:11 AM
Storm could put a bolt of lightning through his skeleton. Magneto could toss him into orbit. Nightcrawler could embed him in a wall. Ice-Man could freeze and shatter him. Rogue just needs to touch him. Cyclops just needs to look at him funny. Professor X, Jean, Emma and even those creepy little girls just need to think at him.

Nightcrawler (or Kitty Pryde) has the best bet, there. Many other X-Men could permanantly incapacitate him, but Nightcrawler's 'appear in concrete' solution would be best, as even if someone dug him out of the concrete, he'd still have concrete *inside his veins* and only be able to be revived by someone able to extract all of the matter that is interpenetrating every micrometer of his body, inside every cell and cavity, from bone marrow to bladder, vein to ventricle, skull to sternum.

Iceman probably couldn't shatter him, but he could lower his body temperature to subzero, flash-freezing him from within (covering him with ice would just be a stalling tactic, most likely, the direct attack would be more useful, as he would not only be unable to cut his way free, but he'd be unable to even think). If he does it too fast, the cells won't be damaged by ice-crystal formation, and he'll probably be revivable after thawing. But if he does it slowly enough (starting with the brain, to knock him out!), Bobby can cause ice-crystal formation to shred every single cell in his body from within, leaving nothing but a statue of Logan, made of ice and adamantium, with not a single living cell remaining (and, when thawed, an awful, awful mess!).

Storm probably couldn't kill him. But she could have a tornado drop him off in a mountain crevasse in Antarctica, frozen solid and buried under a couple tons of ice and snow, never to be seen again. He'd never even see her attacking him, as she could do that from a mile up, let alone be able to reach her with his foot-long Ginsu-matics.

Cyclops would have trouble killing him as well. Once he had him pinned with his unlimited supply of force blast, he'd have to stay focused on mashing him into such a fine paste that not a single cell survived the bludgeoning. It's do-able, but it would probably take a couple hours, and a few cells might get flung off out of sight by the hammering impacts of the force-beams, fall down a sewer-grate and start regenerating... In an environment where there is no chance that any of the cells could get away, Cyclops would likely be able to do this, as he no longer seems to have a limit on how long he can fire his blasts (unlike the early days, when he would run out after awhile). He could sit there for 10 hours or more, blasting the whole time, to 'get them all.' It would be hideously gruesome, 'though, since all that would be left of Wolverine would essentially be sloshy red protein soup (and some shiny metal bits of adamantium) within the first few minutes...

And then there's people like Jean, Emma and Charles.

Jean - "That star is beta agni. I almost ate that one. Want a closer look?"

Emma - "Bark like a dog. Good dog! Fetch the stick! Roll over! Play dead! Okay, I'm bored. No go attack and try to kill the following people; the Sentry, Doctor Doom, the High Evolutionary, Black Bolt and Loki. One of them should be able to finish you off..."

Charles - "Go down to the lab and spend the rest of the day researching the most effective way to kill yourself using the Xavier protocols. Then do it."

marquiz
2009-06-18, 10:27 AM
Slay Living.

Mr. Mud
2009-06-18, 10:30 AM
Slay Living.

I can answer in two words as well :smalltongue:!

Fortitude Save :smallwink:.

Also, Logan would probably have chopped off both the casters hands, if not his head, so he couldn't cast it.

Muz
2009-06-18, 11:11 AM
Put him in a movie written by David Benioff and Skip Woods, and have Gavin Hood direct it. NO superhero could survive that. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Men_Origins:_Wolverine)

Berserk Monk
2009-06-18, 11:17 AM
Dr. Manhattan. 'nuff said.

Worira
2009-06-18, 11:18 AM
Throw him into the sun? Some blood of his (from the thousands of gallons he's shed during the average Frank Miller run) will have been saved and he'll be cloned and Professor X or Psylocke (each of whom has been traipsing all through his head) will make sure that the clone 'is really him' by re-downloading his memories or whatever. Or he'll pull a Darwin and uber-mutate to survive the sun, and come back as a flaming horseman of the apocalypse or something...

Yeah, that happened. Not to Wolverine, to some random immortal guy.

Oslecamo
2009-06-18, 02:23 PM
Charles - "Go down to the lab and spend the rest of the day researching the most effective way to kill yourself using the Xavier protocols. Then do it."

Why do you think Wolverine works for the psimaster bald guy? It's obviously as an extra insurance:smalltongue:

Origomar
2009-06-18, 02:26 PM
Have Squirrel Girl do it.

If she won't, as Wolverine isn't a bad guy and heroes don't kill, calmly accept it and later, slip Rex the Wonderdog a fiver to make it look like an accident.

If both options are unavailable, one remains. Be Herbie Popnecker.

i love you.

Like my mama always said, if a giant army of ferocious squirrels cant do it, nothin can.

The Glyphstone
2009-06-18, 02:36 PM
I could have sworn I read at least one Wolverine comic, probably one of the alternate timelines, where he was quite literally immortal due to the fact that whenever he "died", taking damage even his healing factor couldn't overcome. he got a chance to fight Azrael, the Angel of Death one-on-one, and he always won the fight and was revived...

chiasaur11
2009-06-18, 02:45 PM
I could have sworn I read at least one Wolverine comic, probably one of the alternate timelines, where he was quite literally immortal due to the fact that whenever he "died", taking damage even his healing factor couldn't overcome. he got a chance to fight Azrael, the Angel of Death one-on-one, and he always won the fight and was revived...

If that's the case, as I believe, sadly, it is, a solution presents itself.

Make him go to Ankh Morpork. Skeleton should be gone soon enough thanks to the thieve's guild, and when, eventually, someone finishes him off, well, the local Death is less tolerant of such shennanigans. Or at least is better at dealing with them.

Starscream
2009-06-18, 02:50 PM
Make him go to Ankh Morpork. Skeleton should be gone soon enough thanks to the thieve's guild, and when, eventually, someone finishes him off, well, the local Death is less tolerant of such shennanigans. Or at least is better at dealing with them.

Dude, just kick him into the River Ankh. Nobody could survive that.

Alternately, get him to say something rude to Granny Weatherwax. His fate will be the stuff of folklore.

Mr. Scaly
2009-06-18, 02:51 PM
I think the Punisher did it once by electrocuting all his cells simultaneously, leaving him with nothing to regenerate from. Or something like that.

chiasaur11
2009-06-18, 02:54 PM
Dude, just kick him into the River Ankh. Nobody could survive that.

Alternately, get him to say something rude to Granny Weatherwax. His fate will be the stuff of folklore.

Second option should work.

First would too, if you can get him INTO the Ankh. Which is more easily said then done, as the river is pretty much a solid.

Ganurath
2009-06-18, 03:02 PM
A primary headquarters made of six seperate facilities. Three artificial islands, all connected by a tram system and guarded by more turrets than in Attenborough's wet dreams. Each island is anchored in place by an elevator into the ocean that leads to the other three facilities that are connected to one another by tunnel systems.

I'll be sitting in my orbital secondary headquarters, watching the facility's robots maintain and guard the primary headquarters. When Wolverine shows up to do what violence he will do, I'll seal all connecting systems to whichever subsection he's worked his way to the heart of, seal all doors, detonate the connecting systems, and blow it to bits once the water pressure becomes insurmountable.

If he instead comes to my orbital facility, the only life support in it will be my brain jar. Between the vacuum, the cold, and the adamantium grapplers guarding the place to throw intruders toward the atmosphere, Wolverine is dead.

TheThan
2009-06-18, 03:16 PM
Use something to render him unconscious for a while, then dip him in a vat of liquid adamantium. Then cool it down fast enough so that it becomes indestructible, then fuse him onto a table of adamantium. Boom, adamantium sarcophagus.



Or you know drop him in a vat (with a adamantium lidÖ 8 feet thick, and walls also 8 feet thick) of acid strong enough to dissolve his adamantium skeleton.

Yora
2009-06-18, 03:23 PM
Fast healing is highly accelerated cell growth. And by the laws of thermodynamics, you can't create cells without consuming some kind of raw material. So lock him into a vault he can't get out, and starve him to death. Wait really really long until the last cell has died, and he'll keep dead.
Also works with suffocation.

Or burn the cells away and and throw the skeleton into a fast hardening liquid. As long as the body can't get any organic matter, he stays dead.

pendell
2009-06-18, 03:24 PM
Weigh him. Synthesize that exact mass of antimatter. Bring him into contact with it. The antimatter and matter will mutually annihilate each other, resulting in his complete and total erasure from the universe. And providing a burst of energy sufficient to run my spacecraft for a few hundred years, as a bonus.

Given the potential for collateral damage, I recommend this experiment take place beyond the orbit of Saturn. Preferably further.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

charl
2009-06-18, 03:25 PM
Haven't read it, but wasn't it him that de-powered Mr. M(?) so they could kill him.

You are correct of course.

marquiz
2009-06-18, 03:27 PM
I can answer in two words as well :smalltongue:!

Fortitude Save :smallwink:.

Also, Logan would probably have chopped off both the casters hands, if not his head, so he couldn't cast it.

Slay Livings.

ericgrau
2009-06-18, 03:30 PM
@TheThan: Technically not dead. :smalltongue:

Like superman, he's way too major of a character to actually die. Even if he does, he's likely to resurrect later. Especially given his ability. So the first thing we need is an early and/or cartoon version of wolverine without such extreme fast healing. Then you cut loose with a machine gun and you're done.

I'm not up to speed on the latest comic book but, as I understand it, if he were hit by a nuclear blast then one of his cells would scatter to safety and regenerate his whole body. Or you set up a contrived mission into space, have it fail, and leave him in orbit. Someone would probably just send another mission to retrieve his body, but at least he'd be out of commission until NASA gets the funding.

Option 3 you give Magneto a reason to have nothing better to do than hold wolverine prisoner. Infect wolverine with rabies and invoke the good side of Magneto or something. Be sure to pick one of Magneto's off seasons where another villain is busy hogging the lime-light. Doesn't kill, but does disable. EDIT: Or now that I've read the thread, use one of 3 dozen other ways to disable him. Dang, it sure is easy.

H. Zee
2009-06-18, 03:57 PM
Get Altair on the case.

Mr. Mud
2009-06-18, 04:04 PM
Slay Livings.

:smallconfused:?
__________________________________________________

Theoretically, couldn't, and wouldn't Logan be cloned every time he bled? And if so, there would be hundreds of THOUSANDS of Wolverines running around after every nose bleed. Theoretically he could cut him self, heal, and the hundreds of thousands of cells released in the blood morph into hundreds of thousands of Logans... :smalleek:

WitchSlayer
2009-06-18, 04:23 PM
Slay Livers.
He'll drink himself to death.
I AM BRILLIANT!

sealemon
2009-06-18, 04:35 PM
Orignal, Claimont Wolverine, the way he's supposed to be?

1. Shoot him with a full burst from a machine gun.

2. Cut his throat.

drop him a high enough high to reach terminal velocity.


Seriously. There was a time when Logan had to use strategy when he fought bad guys, becuase his healing factor wasn't a Win Button like it is now.

For current Wolverine? Only the complete distentigration of all biological matter on a subatomic level would do the trick.

So, yeah. Probably throwing him the sun.

Krytha
2009-06-18, 06:52 PM
Pulling the femurs out of the hip bones or the humerus out of the ball socket thingie in the shoulder would require being able to deform the bone, which is coated with unbreakium, so probably not those.



Unbreakium? Is that for realz? What's next ... nuh-uh-it's-like-adamantine-but-a-million-billion-times-better-ium?

TheThan
2009-06-18, 07:01 PM
@TheThan: Technically not dead. :smalltongue:


Well dipping him in liquid metal would probably kill him. At least temporarily, and Iím fairly certain the acid would do the trick too, if itíll dissolve adamantium, itíll probably dissolve human tissue as well. but yeah without actually vaporizing him at a subatomic level, the best you can hope for is to disable him for an extended period of time.

shadow_archmagi
2009-06-18, 07:15 PM
I'd recommend a Reality Bomb, although it's a real pain in the neck to get Davros to work for you.

(Reality Bomb works by negating the forces that hold atoms together, reducing the target to a pile of unbound protons and neutrons and electrons. Of course, attraction means they'll eventually start to reform, but there's no reason for them to reform into the same elements, much less even vaguely the same structure.)

Poison_Fish
2009-06-18, 07:30 PM
Any of the Shiki's (IE: Mystic Eyes of Death Perception) from the Nasuverse. Simply erase his existence.

Or heck, most of the Nauseverse he'd have a hard time dealing with.

chiasaur11
2009-06-18, 07:32 PM
I'd recommend a Reality Bomb, although it's a real pain in the neck to get Davros to work for you.

(Reality Bomb works by negating the forces that hold atoms together, reducing the target to a pile of unbound protons and neutrons and electrons. Of course, attraction means they'll eventually start to reform, but there's no reason for them to reform into the same elements, much less even vaguely the same structure.)

This is WOLVERINE, of course he'll reform into the same form. If he does at all, I mean. On the other hand, Davros is in the Marvel multiverse somewhere...

Another option: The Ret-cannon, from She-Hulk 100.

Does the whole total erasure bit quite well. Just ask Knightman or Dr. Rocket.

Randel
2009-06-18, 08:16 PM
A few ideas:

1. Spray him with liquid nitrogen, if he obeys the lawys of thermodynamics then it will freeze him solid.

2. Use a shotgun to shoot his heart and kill him

3. Then tear him to pieces

4. Then throw every piece into a fire. (preferably separate fires)

5. Take the adamantine bones and separate them (rip his claws out), then bury them in wet concrete, then let the concrete solidify. Take his ashes and also mix them up with concrete and make separate concrete blocks.

6. Keep the concrete blocks under observation in separate prisons.

7. Find some bum with bad hygiene, poor vocabulary, and not much common sense.

8. Cut his hands off and replace them with chainsaws, convince him that this is a good thing.

9. Call him the new wolverine.

shadow_archmagi
2009-06-18, 08:37 PM
This is WOLVERINE, of course he'll reform into the same form.


It'd probably mostly be absorbed by surrounding materials, but I suppose some of it might become hydrogen. Wolverine isn't made of hydrogen.

chiasaur11
2009-06-18, 08:45 PM
It'd probably mostly be absorbed by surrounding materials, but I suppose some of it might become hydrogen. Wolverine isn't made of hydrogen.

Not entirely, but like everyone else, at least partially. He's about ten percent Hydrogen by mass.

Jallorn
2009-06-18, 08:46 PM
Two words: Black Hole

or

I like the Reality Bomb idea.

or, pit immortal Jack Sparrow, sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow, against him by convincing him that it's Barbosa in disguise and he'll never give up. Doesn't destroy him, but keeps him busy forever.

tribble
2009-06-18, 09:00 PM
A few ideas:

1. Spray him with liquid nitrogen, if he obeys the lawys of thermodynamics then it will freeze him solid.

2. Use a shotgun to shoot his heart and kill him

3. Then tear him to pieces

4. Then throw every piece into a fire. (preferably separate fires)

5. Take the adamantine bones and separate them (rip his claws out), then bury them in wet concrete, then let the concrete solidify. Take his ashes and also mix them up with concrete and make separate concrete blocks.

6. Keep the concrete blocks under observation in separate prisons.

7. Find some bum with bad hygiene, poor vocabulary, and not much common sense.

8. Cut his hands off and replace them with chainsaws, convince him that this is a good thing.

9. Call him the new wolverine.

Or, to save on postage all that fancy stuff, do step one and then pop him in a blast furnace, then a nuclear reactor.

easy.

or, if you REEEALLY was to make it simple, get him into a fight with Chuck Norris.

Mr. Mud
2009-06-18, 09:04 PM
or, if you REEEALLY was to make it simple, get him into a fight with Chuck Norris.

*Predicts the ending of this thread due to Chuck Norris related flaming in fiiiiiiiiveee...* :smalltongue:.

What if someone was to genetically alter Wolverine's DNA, so that he was a mass of liquid, kept in a convenient jar. He couldn't regenerate, because he'd be in his base form. His altered base form.

Swordlol
2009-06-18, 09:08 PM
Play him Green Day songs.

What a horrible way to go.

I hear that if you die listening to Green Day songs your soul is stuck in limbo.

Roupe
2009-06-18, 09:09 PM
For the more non powered attempts to deal with him.

1:st attempt
Lure him into a room,
from above
fill the entire korridor (or adjecant room) & the entire room with quick solidfying concrete.

2:d attempt (tad bit more expensive)
Lure him into a room,
from above
fill the entire korridor (or adjecant room) & the entire room with redhot smelted iron.

3:d attempt
collect wolverine blood that has been spilt, cultivate the white blood cells and shoot darts loaded with the cultivated blood cells to cause autoimmune disease within wolverine. Turn his healing factor against him.

North
2009-06-19, 12:43 AM
I'm pretty sure Leach was depowered by M-day.

Nah, little plot device boy is still around.

But really the Muramasa sword will kill him. Its basically been established as kryptonite to wolverine. In canon hes said it will kill him. The metal its made of renders his healing factor inert. Its the plot device weapon to his plot device healing factor.

I like the word plot device apparently.

TheThan
2009-06-19, 12:47 AM
Play him Green Day songs.

What a horrible way to go.

I hear that if you die listening to Green Day songs your soul is stuck in limbo.

i think this happened to a friend of mine.

:smallbiggrin:

factotum
2009-06-19, 01:44 AM
Is there any reason why just throwing him into a blast furnace wouldn't do it? Just destroy all his cells so he can't regenerate. Sure, the adamantium skeleton would probably remain, but it can't do much on its own!

V'icternus
2009-06-19, 01:56 AM
Is there any reason why just throwing him into a blast furnace wouldn't do it? Just destroy all his cells so he can't regenerate. Sure, the adamantium skeleton would probably remain, but it can't do much on its own!

He's regenerated from his metal skeleton before. It's part of him now...

A nearly indestructible part.

Randel
2009-06-19, 02:16 AM
He's regenerated from his metal skeleton before. It's part of him now...

A nearly indestructible part.

I figure if you can strip him down to his skeleton then encase the skeleton in something. If there is nowhere for his muscles and brain cells to go then he's just stuck as a skeleton.

Also, try getting him to fight Xykon. As a lich, Xykon has just as much regenerative power as wolverine and he's an epic level spellcaster, and he's genre-savvy. Plus, even if wolverine does beat Xykon then that saves the world from being taken over by a complete monster.

Worst case... Xykon energy drains wolverine to nothingness, burns his flesh off the skeleton and then raises the skeleton as some kind of nasty indestructible undead monster. Though I suppose as long as Wolverines personality is gone from the undead monster then it will be a decent improvement.


Skeleton Wolverine: Hi, I'm here to kill you all using my totally radical claws and ninja skills.

Opponent-of-the-week: Who are you and what's your motivation?

Skeleton Wolverine: I'm an undead metal skeleton with claws that kills people because my undead lich master told me too.

Opponent-of-the-week: ... that it? No long winded talk about some mysterious past that nobody's heard of until this time and doesn't even remotely fit into all your other weird pasts?

Skeleton Wolverine: Nope, just an undead metal skeleton guy with claws here to kill people.

Opponent-of-the-week: Wow... I think I like you better than the living you!

thubby
2009-06-19, 02:41 AM
find some way to strip his electrons from him (I'm sure one of the over powered telekinetics could do it)
then destroy the non-adamantium parts

or stick him with a piece of anti-metal.

Oslecamo
2009-06-19, 04:16 AM
Find some way to turn him into Fallout 3 main character, whitout patches. Make sure at the end he tries to play hero. Laugh incontrolably as the game declares "Radiation rises, you die, no save, resistance, regeneration or any other shenigans possible".

Or make him do a death or glory stand in a WH40K game. Against a land raider. Multiple times. He'll eventually be run over, and as per the rules, killed no matter what defenses he has.

ImmortalAer
2009-06-19, 06:52 AM
"Please relax while I prepare the deadly neurotoxin."

Or...

Melt down his adamantium. (Hey, Styker could do it, and we have unlimited resources.)

Squish him into a bloody paste. (Oh noes, he can regenerate from that... unless...)

Enclose such in a vacuum-sealed bottle, encased in adamantium, surrounded by a forcefied, buried 50 meters under the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Add a pine air freshener and call it a day.

shadow_archmagi
2009-06-19, 07:02 AM
Find some way to turn him into Fallout 3 main character, whitout patches. Make sure at the end he tries to play hero. Laugh incontrolably as the game declares "Radiation rises, you die, no save, resistance, regeneration or any other shenigans possible".


Expansion pack makes it turn out that you were saved.

Starscream
2009-06-19, 07:17 AM
Hire Ambush Bug to take him into Comic Book Limbo. He'll never be seen again except for the occasional special or miniseries.

Oslecamo
2009-06-19, 09:06 AM
Expansion pack makes it turn out that you were saved.

That's why I said whitout patches:smalltongue:

kamikasei
2009-06-19, 09:16 AM
He's regenerated from his metal skeleton before. It's part of him now...

...
...
...
:smallannoyed:

That's fantastically stupid.

Telonius
2009-06-19, 09:50 AM
Construct an anti-matter Wolverine. Throw one at the other. Stand back.

Oslecamo
2009-06-19, 10:49 AM
Construct an anti-matter Wolverine. Throw one at the other. Stand back.

Altough I admit I wouldn't mind seeing Wolvering being destroyed, your sugestion would probably destroy us all as well, since the combination of physics, rule of cool and plot shield would implode the universe.

ScIaDrd
2009-06-19, 11:39 AM
Four easy steps:
1)Put him in a 5-way clebrity deathmatch with the following: O-chul, Chuck Norris, Pun-Pun and the Great Cuthullu.
2) Displace self from the current universe as it explodes, not able to contain the concentrated awesome.
3) ???
4)Profit!

Yulian
2009-06-19, 10:27 PM
Weigh him. Synthesize that exact mass of antimatter. Bring him into contact with it. The antimatter and matter will mutually annihilate each other, resulting in his complete and total erasure from the universe. And providing a burst of energy sufficient to run my spacecraft for a few hundred years, as a bonus.

Given the potential for collateral damage, I recommend this experiment take place beyond the orbit of Saturn. Preferably further.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

This happened in a What If...? I believe it was What If...The Marvel Super Heroes Lost Atlantis Attacks?

The Scarlet Witch, under Set's thrall, turned the Aquarian into antimatter after someone hurled him at Wolverine. Boom. Nothing of the two left but a shiny skeleton.

But let's be less silly about it. I propose something simpler, though you better have some means of surviving it yourself and no concern for collateral damage.

Thermite. You need to just keep dousing him with it until all the organic matter is burned off or completely carbonized. When ignited, the reactants become a liquid at around 4500 degrees Fahrenheit.

Just keep dumping or spraying it at him, he can't move to attack you with his tendons and muscles charred into ash. Stuff even burns without air (the iron oxide has all the oxygen the reaction needs). So he cannot extinguish it.

Oh yeah, putting "fresh" thermite on burning thermite will cause the new stuff to potentially burn even hotter. It also produces a ton of UV light, so he will also be totally blind while on fire. He won't be able to smell anything either as the superheated air roasts his mucous membranes.

Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU8iRYbnAb0

This is what it does to tissue in about 30 seconds. Imagine sustaining an attack on him. He's done for.

- Yulian

Coidzor
2009-06-19, 10:28 PM
Is he immune to the sun? What about explosive decompression?

thubby
2009-06-20, 03:13 AM
Is he immune to the sun? What about explosive decompression?

his adamantium skeleton is, so far as we know, immune to everything except vibranium (the anti-metal i mentioned, which liquefies adamantium).

he's survived being nuked, so...

Xsesiv
2009-06-20, 03:19 AM
Slowly and painfully. 'Nuff said.

Xenre
2009-06-20, 05:53 AM
You wanna kill Wolverine? Tell Superman that Braniac has a new body and that Wolverine is it. Then you pop some popcorn and watch the fun. It would be kind of hard for Wolverine to regenerate when his skeleton is in a crumpled heap and resembles a beer can that has been crushed against a drunk redneck's forehead.

Starscream
2009-06-20, 06:14 AM
You wanna kill Wolverine? Tell Superman that Braniac has a new body and that Wolverine is it.

Interesting idea. You could even have him look inside with x-ray vision and use the metal skeleton as "proof" that Logan is secretly a cyborg.

Fan
2009-06-20, 06:34 AM
his adamantium skeleton is, so far as we know, immune to everything except vibranium (the anti-metal i mentioned, which liquefies adamantium).

he's survived being nuked, so...

So in case him in the Vibranium, add in a sufficent layer of lava, bury it 20 miles in the earths crust, and laugh as the pressure turns him to dust?

Belial_the_Leveler
2009-06-20, 06:46 AM
The reason Wolverine is practically immortal is that his various writers totally disregard natural laws.

Sure, his skeleton can survive being nuked. The amount of radiation a direct hit with a nuke would create would be enough to fry his DNA so he loses his powers. And the amount of heat is enough to vaporise 1000+ feet of stone. How would even a single cell of his survive?

Not to mention something simpler; a pretty fast-acting acid. That would eat away all organic matter in... 2 minutes of total immersion? He's dead.

Oh, and hypothermia/heatstroke. There is no physical damage to the body from them-biochemical reactions simply cease functioning. Unless his regeneration can produce or remove thermal energy, I don't see how he would "repair" something like that.

And being frozen solid? Every last one of his cells would burst. That means no functional cell from which to regenerate. Thawing him would only turn him into a pile of dead meat, not enable him to regenerate.

Aotrs Commander
2009-06-23, 10:45 AM
Worst case... Xykon energy drains wolverine to nothingness, burns his flesh off the skeleton and then raises the skeleton as some kind of nasty indestructible undead monster. Though I suppose as long as Wolverines personality is gone from the undead monster then it will be a decent improvement.


Skeleton Wolverine: Hi, I'm here to kill you all using my totally radical claws and ninja skills.

Opponent-of-the-week: Who are you and what's your motivation?

Skeleton Wolverine: I'm an undead metal skeleton with claws that kills people because my undead lich master told me too.

Opponent-of-the-week: ... that it? No long winded talk about some mysterious past that nobody's heard of until this time and doesn't even remotely fit into all your other weird pasts?

Skeleton Wolverine: Nope, just an undead metal skeleton guy with claws here to kill people.

Opponent-of-the-week: Wow... I think I like you better than the living you!

Speaking as a Wolverine fan...that would actually be damned awesome. It'd ceratainly be a nice change from all those tedious, tedious comics/books/movies about those leech-in-a-dinner-suit,emo, pointy-toothed git vampires, wouldn't it?

The 'downside' to that is argueably if you did it right, he'd be even more invulnerable...



I agree, the best way to deal with Wolverine is to attack his life-force (or mind) rather than his corporeal form. As mentioned, if he can survive a nuke tossing him into the sun might not actually work, since a nuke is actually hotter than the sun (though he'd probably starve/suffocate/dehydrate eventually when his healing factor finally ran out of steam...probably).

(Heck in the recent Old Man Logan run, an alternate future, he, under the effect of Mysterio's meddling, single-handedly managed to kill all the X-Men, thinking they were about fifty super-villans!)

However, it's not impossible to knock Wolverine down, it's getting him to stay down that's usually the problem. It's viable to get him captured and penned up - as happens so often - then all you need do is pummel him with repeated death spells (et al) until he finally fails his save. (Or Enervation/Energy Drain or Phantasmal Killer...) Or, reduce his hit points to the level where Power Word Kill will function (no save required). And then Soul Trap and find a convieniant portion of intergalatic space/time to dump the pebble you trap him into. (And by space time, I mean really random time and space, like 172,541,354 million years ago some distance between galaxies somewhere really far away in a position not easily predicted; i.e. not the opposite side of the universe, instead something like 458/742 of the universe away.)

Or kill everyone apart from Wolverine that he cares about and destroy his spirit (and then run like buggery several dimensions away just in case that instead suceeds in making him peeved, because it stands a fair chance of doing so, even if you put him out of commision for a few years...)

But if it's not an alternate universe, you're still likely to be buggered because basically most of the non-villain Marvel Universe will be coming down on your ass to save him (since he mentored about half of them, and is on or has been on the team and is matey with every single other one!), to the point (as mentioned before) of changing time, space and reality so you don't knobble him. And they'll probably suceed.

So a better, 'safer', if a tad drastic, solution is destroy the entire universe and all closely related universes containing the Wolverine you want to expunge. This, of course, is nearly more dangerous than dealing with Wolverine, since it's liable to peeve really quite powerful other entities. On the other hand, the fact you've spifflicated several universes might give you an advantage...

So to sum up the answer to the initial post:

With great difficulty.

Set
2009-06-23, 12:35 PM
The reason Wolverine is practically immortal is that his various writers totally disregard natural laws.

And, IMO, they've made him a much less interesting character. Back in the Death of Phoenix days, he'd get shot, or poisoned, and it would be a big deal, a major threat, and he'd heroically struggle to continue functioning.

Nowadays, his ability to absorb damage is such that there's really no drama at all. Oh, he's been shot, stabbed, blowed up, whatever. It's not like anything they do to him really matters, which makes it boring to read about, and leads to a sort of 'arms race' as writers try to find something new and exciting to bring that sense of drama back (such as dropping him from orbit).

The ante keeps upping with ever more sensational 'deaths,' but instead of 'drama,' I'm left thinking, 'Oh, give me a break.'

Geddoe
2009-06-26, 03:43 PM
Wolverine stories, now, are less about threats to his own health(which will pull through) and more about threats to his mission and loved ones. Just because he, himself is unable to die, doesn't mean he auto-succeeds at whatever he wants to do. He still really only has claws, mildly heightened abilities, martial arts and healing, not everything he faces can be handled with just those.

Deadpool regenerated from a hand at one point and a pool of vomit at another. He is still interesting because, despite his invulnerability to permanent harm, all of his offenses are variations of shooting, dragon punching, or slicing people up.

If he(Wolverine or Deadpool) is trying to protect something, just hit him with some powerful attack and then destroy what he was trying to protect while he recovers. Then they have technically lost/

dillugoa
2009-06-26, 08:49 PM
realy if u want to kill wolverine all u got to do is decapitate him
hit him a couple times then wip out a sword and slice, take off his head and run!!!
he will tecnicly still be alive but only for so long kinda like a chicken and take the head and burn it till its gone and there u go no more wolverine
if u dont take the head and run he can put iy back on and be like normal (wat ever that is for him)

leafman
2009-06-26, 10:22 PM
realy if u want to kill wolverine all u got to do is decapitate him
hit him a couple times then wip out a sword and slice, take off his head and run!!!
he will tecnicly still be alive but only for so long kinda like a chicken and take the head and burn it till its gone and there u go no more wolverine
if u dont take the head and run he can put iy back on and be like normal (wat ever that is for him)

That wouldn't work, his body would either regenerate the lost head or the head would regenerate the body. Granted he would lose the adamantium in that portion of his body until he could recover the metal and get someone to put it back in him, but he wouldn't be dead.

thubby
2009-06-26, 10:54 PM
That wouldn't work, his body would either regenerate the lost head or the head would regenerate the body. Granted he would lose the adamantium in that portion of his body until he could recover the metal and get someone to put it back in him, but he wouldn't be dead.

on top of that one has to figure a way to cut through his adamantium spine.

Mistwalker
2009-06-26, 11:06 PM
Rocks fall, everybody dies.

Fawkes
2009-06-27, 11:00 AM
Put him in an MRI machine. That oughta be fun.

Fredthefighter
2009-06-27, 11:18 AM
Right, according to the Xavier Protocols (Issue 49 of the Essential X-Men comics) Wolverine can only truly die if he is decapitated. And that's right out of the Mutant Mail section of Essential X-Men Issue 92.

Kaelaroth
2009-06-27, 11:38 AM
Right, according to the Xavier Protocols (Issue 49 of the Essential X-Men comics) Wolverine can only truly die if he is decapitated. And that's right out of the Mutant Mail section of Essential X-Men Issue 92.

That's way out of date, though, before his power's been retconned to be far, far greater.

Fredthefighter
2009-06-27, 11:51 AM
That's way out of date, though, before his power's been retconned to be far, far greater.

Well, a lot has changed in nearly 10 years. (Essential X-Men 92 was released in the UK on 6th November 2002. A new issue was released each month. So issue 49 came out in the UK in June 1999)

Wow, that is a long time ago. Nevermind then.

EDIT: As an extra little bit of info, in issue 92 of Essential X-Men, Wolverine was one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse (Death in this case)

Rutskarn
2009-06-27, 12:09 PM
I'd use harsh language, myself.

Failing at that, encase him in an adamantium block.

Senator Cybus
2009-06-27, 12:18 PM
Go back in time, kill his grandparents.

Drop him in a Zero Hour entropy rift, erasing him from existence. Hell, that killed Batman! :smallbiggrin:

Or do what the possessed Beast did in the apocalyptic future of Grant Morrison's New X-Men - use telekinesis to re-arrange Logan's DNA, permanently removing his healing factor, and then just gut him like a fish.

:smallsmile:

AstralFire
2009-06-27, 12:23 PM
Starving doesn't work. Wolverine was trapped beneath a glacier once and his body self-cannibalized for energy... and then managed to keep regenerating.

*eyeroll*

Yulian
2009-06-30, 09:51 PM
Starving doesn't work. Wolverine was trapped beneath a glacier once and his body self-cannibalized for energy... and then managed to keep regenerating.

*eyeroll*

No, he ate his own arm over and over.

And when did he survive a nuke? The posted stuff was Nitro, who is not a nuke.

Let's see, it's been established that Gladiator can break his claws (in Guardians of the Galaxy). Oh! Duh.

Molecular rearranger. Ultron usually has one, so does Reed. It can render adamantium malleable. Hit him with that, then blow his body to pieces with conventional explosives and/or shotgun his head off.

- Yulian

Black Orc 2k8
2009-07-05, 09:31 AM
Destroy everything he loves, and drive him to suicide. (He may kill you before he kills himself though)

Querzis
2009-07-05, 11:18 AM
I this whole thread I only saw two things that would really kill Wolverine as he is now: throw him in the sun (or any stars really) or throw him in a black hole (yeah sure destroying the universe would work but I dont count it since you're not especially aiming for Wolverine). Sorry but nothing else would really kill him, at least not for good. He can regenerate only from a few cells. Still, I dont understand why some people hate Wolverine. I can understand people hating the guys doing Wolverine publicity though, it also really annoy me.

Anyway, there is one guy in this thread who listed all the other X-men who could beat Wolverine and didnt understand why Wolverine was considered a threat despise being weaker then most X-men. Well yes, most of the other X-men could beat him easely. Nobody cares. Sure Storm or Cyclops could knock him out but they cant kill him, nobody can. Knocking Wolverine down is easy, making him stay down is impossible. Thats the whole point of his power and while that doesnt make him more able to beat up people, it does mean he'll come back. Thats why people are still scared of him, of course he probably wont manage to kill the guy who attack him now, but he'll do it eventually. Wolverine just doesnt care anymore, he know he'll survive so he just charge and charge and charge and charge until it works. Since hes basically just a guy with knives (really effective knives but still) charging recklessly is the only possible way for him to actually hit someone. So he'll do it and, eventually, it will work.

So yeah, throw him in the sun. If you try anything else, you'll just get a relentless enemy who'll kill you eventually. Might take weeks or even years but at one point you'll drop your guard long enough for him to stab you.

Oslecamo
2009-07-05, 11:51 AM
So yeah, throw him in the sun. If you try anything else, you'll just get a relentless enemy who'll kill you eventually. Might take weeks or even years but at one point you'll drop your guard long enough for him to stab you.

And like I already said, Wolverine was once killed by a suped up sentinel that managed to burn all his cells in one swoop, leaving only the metal skeleton behind.

The X-mens just altered the time stream so the situation where the suped sentinel was built never came to pass.

So blowing up the universe is the only way to make Wolverine stay down, because even if you throw him in a star, his pals will turn reality upside down to get him back.

Dervag
2009-07-05, 12:36 PM
I agree, the best way to deal with Wolverine is to attack his life-force (or mind) rather than his corporeal form. As mentioned, if he can survive a nuke tossing him into the sun might not actually work, since a nuke is actually hotter than the sun (though he'd probably starve/suffocate/dehydrate eventually when his healing factor finally ran out of steam...probably).Ah, but the Sun stays hotter. A nuclear blast delivers a lot of heat all at once, but if it fails to kill even one cell, Wolverine bounces back because his healing factor is just that overcharged. But inside the Sun, every molecule of his body would be heated to solar temperatures; it's a straight "second law of thermodynamics" thing. And solar temperatures are too hot for anything made out of meat to hold together. It might not vaporize his skeleton, but it would definitely kill him.

Permanent immersion in lava (or hell, even boiling water) should work too. It would take more time, but it would still work.


on top of that one has to figure a way to cut through his adamantium spine.The vertebrae are adamantium, but what about the connective tissue between them?


Put him in an MRI machine. That oughta be fun.How would that help? Hell, MRI wouldn't kill me, and I am many, many orders of magnitude easier to kill than Wolverine.


Destroy everything he loves, and drive him to suicide. (He may kill you before he kills himself though)Ah, but how would he kill himself?

hamishspence
2009-07-05, 12:44 PM
Melt him (everything off the skeleton), then lower him into extremely rapid-setting material. Voila- skeleton encased in a solid- there is no room for the flesh to grow back into.

Star Wars carbonite might be futuristic, but maybe some Marvel-world equivalent might do the job.

Its still temporary "Sealed Badass in a Can" maybe, but it seems like a possible way.

Oslecamo
2009-07-05, 01:07 PM
Like Gandalf would've said, you're just transfering the problem to some poor smucks in the future.

Then the rebels lose when Wolverine jumps in the middle of the firefight and guts Solo.

And the WH40K human empire colapses when a Khorne berseker with power claws( aka Wolverine brainwashed by Horus) backstabs the Emprah before he can fire his death lazer.

The anti spirals keep ruling the universe as Kamina's drill fails to stop the last beastman and his metalic claws(again, Wolverine brainwashed by King Spiral)

The horror, the horror...

hamishspence
2009-07-05, 01:14 PM
When (as far as I can tell) there is no Mount Doom to throw Wolverine into, locking his skeleton up in hard metal, cement, plastic, etc and throwing away the key is the only option left.

Mind you, in movie 2 Lady Deathstrike appears to die in moments when injected with adamantium. Maybe thats the one weakness? Or maybe she's more fragile than he is.

Belial_the_Leveler
2009-07-05, 02:57 PM
Meh. Freeze him, strap him on a far-space rocket. Send him to the nearest black hole.

Querzis
2009-07-05, 03:35 PM
And like I already said, Wolverine was once killed by a suped up sentinel that managed to burn all his cells in one swoop, leaving only the metal skeleton behind.

Sorry but I went to see what you were talking about and, thats only knocking him down. If the skeleton is still there, it means the bones are still there. Which means he'll grow back. And thats not even talking about all the cells that were probably still inside the skeleton or all the blood. Its just that they shifted the focus from there so of course we dont hear about him again but Wolverine would have grown back. He was reduced to the state of a metal skeleton quite a few time before, it never stopped him for very long. ANY drop of blood, any freaking cell can make him grow back. What you are talking about is absolutely nothing compared to other stuff we saw him survive.

And before anyone wonder about why they're arent hundred of Wolverine around with all the blood he spilled, thats because souls do exist in the X-men universe. There is only one Wolverine soul so there is only one Wolverine.

Belial_the_Leveler
2009-07-05, 03:54 PM
*casts trap the soul*

Nope. No soul for you.

Tiger Duck
2009-07-05, 04:12 PM
Wouln't it be fairly cool if Wolverine started to use his healing factor as a crude teleporting device. Send some blood to the target location, and when he is ready to go incinerate all his cell's so he has to regenerate from that vial:smallbiggrin:.

and on killing Wolfie i would search alternate universes till I find one where theire never was a Wolverine, it wouln't be killing him but the result would be the same.

KIDS
2009-07-06, 07:25 AM
A bit offtopic, but this reminds me of the official subtitles for the last X-Men movie. In one of the greatest blunders ever, "Wolverine" was translated into Croatian as "velika planinska kuna", or translated back, "giant mountain marten (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marten)".

How do you kill a giant mountain marten?

Drakyn
2009-07-06, 12:06 PM
You kill and skin it for its luxuriant, XXXL-sized pelt?

Jan Mattys
2009-07-07, 08:22 AM
Feed him to the Snarl.

Verruckt
2009-07-07, 11:30 AM
I haven't read all the replies here, so this may have already been brought up, but a question: How does ol' Logan move if he's just a skeleton? I don't think he can, burn all the connective tissue and tendons away and you have an irritated adamantium skeleton with a very angry brain inside. So really all you need to do is knock him out (get Mimic or Juggy or some other powerhouse to do it, there are canon examples of both) and throw him into a crematorium. Once you've burned it all away you can then grab some tongs and quickly toss each piece into its own bucket of concrete. Scatter said buckets to the four corners of the earth or do the rocket--->sun routine if you really want to. Or more amusingly only entomb his arms and legs, and allow the head and torso to regenerate. Keep torso boy in a suitably reinforced glass case and use your pet Canadian basket case to entertain villainous house guests. Sure one day he'll inevitably escape and wreak bloody revenge, but it will be hilarious, stumpy revenge.

Berserk Monk
2009-07-08, 04:42 PM
How would I kill Wolverine? This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w) says it all.

Flickerdart
2009-07-08, 04:48 PM
How would I kill Wolverine? This video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w) says it all.
Well, aside from Dr. Manhattan who could just undo Wolverine from reality (which is cheating) there's not really a whole lot that the Watchmen can do.

J.Gellert
2009-07-08, 05:02 PM
Big magnet, then stop worrying about him.

If you have to make sure he won't be disturbing you soon...
1. Put him in a box.
2. Put that box in another box.
3. Hide him away.
4. Kill your minions that took him there so only you know the location.
5. Don't tell anyone.
6. ...?!
7. Profit!

Added: Does the healing factor also mean that he doesn't need to breathe, eat or sleep? If so, you can make the box air-tight. Or waterproof and fill it with acid. Or just bury it and wait till he dies from dehydration.

JT Jag
2009-07-08, 05:10 PM
Professor X's plan to deal with Wolverine if he goes rogue is to

A. Temporarily disable him via mental assault
B. Cut his head off at the neck with a laser
C. Cremate the body, saving the adamantium skeleton for scrap, melting it down to create two adamantium boxes
D. Put the head in one of the adamantium box
E. Put the adamantium box in another adamantium box
F. Drop the two boxes into the Mariana Trench.

Berserk Monk
2009-07-08, 06:12 PM
Big magnet, then stop worrying about him.

You know magnets don't affect all metals.

Faulty
2009-07-08, 06:17 PM
how do we kill him?

You kill him to death.

JerryMcJerrison
2009-07-08, 06:27 PM
Make an adamantium box, bait it with a chocolate cake, then fill it with molten steel when he gets inside. Keep the steel molten for a few days to ensure even cooking. Then wrap that in a Chicago style deep dish pizza, wrap than in a pancake, then dip it in batter and deep fry it till it's a nice golden brown.

Then put that into another adamantium box while it's being forged to there's no way in or out after it cools. Repeat this step until paranoia is satisfied.

Then launch him into Saturn.

Then find a way to drop Saturn into the sun.

Then find a way to drop the sun into a black hole.

If he's still alive after all that, then he DESERVES to live and you should leave him alone because he's probably pissed at you.

J.Gellert
2009-07-08, 06:52 PM
You know magnets don't affect all metals.

Magneto seems to do it every time, so yeah (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SoYeah).

kpenguin
2009-07-08, 06:57 PM
But Magneto's magnetism isn't normal magnetism, I think. Are bullets magnetic?

EDIT: Modern bullets have lead cores and copper jackets. Neither lead nor copper are magnetic. One assumes that Magneto's feats may not be easily replicated with a conventional magnet.

J.Gellert
2009-07-08, 08:10 PM
Then that's a flaw with artists not knowing what bullets are made of, because Magneto's power is explicitly described as "Creates and manipulates magnetic fields" and not "Telekinetically moves metal". :smallbiggrin:

Also: "It is at least somewhat magnetic, since Magneto has manipulated it on multiple occasions." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adamantium_(comics))

thegurullamen
2009-07-08, 09:40 PM
I've only really read the first two posts here (and I love the second one), so excuse me if this has been said before, but my method is the same one Hiro should have used in Heroes:

Teleporter with a spacesuit jumps into touch range
Touch
Orbit of Jupiter

Fin.

It's probably not permanent, but until we send a mission to the gas giant that's designed to come back (i.e. never), Wolvie's only chance is to be the last hope for some new teleporter who doesn't mind slogging through molten silvery Jupiter core. Or Phoenix. You know, whatever.

Shades of Gray
2009-07-08, 10:10 PM
RE: Magneto:


Originally posted by An essay I did, with the help from Kakalios' Physics of Superheroes

... And some substances point in opposite directions to the field, like water, this is called diamagnetism. Magneto utilizes diamagnetism to levitate people. In moderate strength magnetic fields, your body is not susceptible to polarization. However in a field 200,000 time the strength of the earthís, you can be polarize to point in one direction, opposite to the field, thus creating levitation.

So this is how he magnetically levitates wolverine.

Magneto can make anything magnetic, he just has to make a strong enough magnetic field. Writers just need him to have a weakness, in his first appearance he threw boulders at the X-men.

KilltheToy
2009-07-08, 10:36 PM
You kill him to death.

This.


I'd kill him by sending some Necrons after him. Lots and lots of em. That would do it.