Homebrew RPG Needs Some Critique

[ScribeofAges]

Hi!

This is my first attempt at a complete homebrew RPG. I wrote it for my friends who, wonderful people that they are, don't really care for the "sit around and do math and roll dice" roleplaying experience, as they put it. SO, I went and designed this.

They seemed to have fun with it, but I was really hoping for some more gaming-centric community members to have a gander and give their suggestions. What better place than the Fine Forums of the Playground? I've got a PDF that you can download via MediaFire.com, it's completely original with no attachment to any existing d20 system out there.

For lack of a better name, I call it Wyverns, Wings and Wizards.

It's kinda of a fantasy/steampunk/fleet action melange, so it has an element of your classic dungeon-delving party antics and aerial combat situations.

Linky to the game manual: http://www.mediafire.com/?zmzj0j2kv2a

I tried making the gameplay as quick to setup and play and start killing things as much as possible. I even drew pretty pictures in some places!! [You can ignore those, I know how terrible an artist I am.] So DL and share the PDF as much as you want, chop it up, apply the red pen, do as you please. Just would like some feedback very much.

Thanks!

PS - Please forgive if this thread is in the wrong area, I decided to post it here rather than the Player Recruitment area since I'm not looking for an active game... yet. :wink:

[Knaight]

I love the ships, and I love the setting, but the character part is poorly explained. How does leveling up work for example(is it just gaining more hit dice). If I were you I would heavily revise the classes, removing leveling up, and just adding experience to spend, after all you have the skills. That and I would make hit points practically static.

However, there are some true gems of genius. The maneuvers are a big part of that, you should probably add more, simply because they are really cool. You might also want to specify what happens if one fails to perform one correctly. On a similar note, you could add a few more ships, and even versions of the current ships.

The one flaw with the ship system is the lack of explanation with the way larger ships move. Add a few diagrams and that should be fine, the art work is definitely usable, and works as a technical guide, although not just as art for art's sake.

On classes, you might want to add various modifications, such as a way to let warriors use guns somehow.

[ScribeofAges]

Thanks for the quick response Knaight!

I agree with the character system - it's a bit clunky. I don't want to remove the level up, as I think it's just a good milestone of achievement (again, geared towards those who need rewards for little effort). But as for the points, what if I were to simply have a cost system for dice roll, and then roll that dice once to add to the stats value?

i.e.: 1d4 cost 5 points, 1d6 cost 15 points, 1d8 costs 20 points etc.?

About cap ship movement... riiiiiight. Miiiiight beeeeee important. Will work on something post-hastedly.

As for warriors using guns, I wanted to make guns kind of a special thing, as in frowned upon because then you just have ranged tank characters running around. Thieves are a little more frail, and have use for a long ranged weapons like that because they're speciality isn't to mix it up in a huge melee. Maybe add a class like marine or something that specializes in rifles, blunderbuss', and the like? Open to suggestions on this one.

What kind of classes would you like to see besides the three main ones I put down? Maybe a generic of the various DnD classes about?

I thought I mentioned that if you fail a Special Manuever roll, you lose the initiative on the next turn or something like that. Also will be adding rules for aircraft-to-aircraft ramming.

I have tons of ships that I'm working on, those were the major ones you'd need to just pick up and play lickity-split. I could spend hours just thinking of variations of the already existing models and new ships, but play was first and foremost on my mind.

Thanks again! Let me know what you think.

[Knaight]

Honestly, I don't particularly like classes and levels that much, preferring skill based systems. Thus 3 broad classes would be good, along with ways to modify them. So a warrior could get the gun skill, but they are going to have to drag down HP, or Dex, or Pilot, etc.

I read through it again, and noticed the bit about failing a maneuver, so you have it. The way you have spell damage set up is a bit confusing, and in general it could use some examples throughout.

On classes, again you could drop them altogether. Give each player 20 points to spend between stats, with different costs for different levels, ie 1d4=2 points, 1d6=3 points, 1d8=4 points, all the way through 1d12=6 points, and just not having 1d20. Then 1 point in HP is 1 point of HP.

Then instead of levels, just get more skill points(for the various abilities) and attribute points(to boost attributes).

Take a look at the Savage Worlds System, a free version is available online.

On big ships moving and maneuverability. Big ships could need to move their full body length to turn one hex, with the back remaining in place. That gives rough maneuverability, with dexterity of ships affecting maneuvers doing the rest, meaning it stays very simple.

[ScribeofAges]

Knaight -

Here's the edited rules for character experience, eliminating the level system in favor of a pure point-spend system:

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The experience system of WwW is one of simplicity – each enemy defeated has a point value. The player with the killing stroke earns the Experience Points for the enemy slain, with the exception of boss enemies, in which case the points will be divided equally among the players participating in the battle.

Experience Points
For each opponent defeated, the player is awarded that opponent's predetermined XP Value to spend towards skills and stats, except wizards, which in addition to experience points receive the same number of spell points to spend on their spells. Spell Points are not interchangeable with Experience Points.

Each experience point can be added to the value of HP, Dex, Move, Magic, Attack, Gun or Pilot, except where the value ‘NA’ applies. So, a Warrior may not add points to the Gun or Magic skills, the thief may not add points in the Magic skill, and the Wizard may not add points in the Pilot, Attack or Gun skills.

When adding skill points to Attack, Dex or Gun, it is added as a modifier. (+1 to dice roll, +2 to dice roll, etc.)
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I know that this will produce a bunch of overpowered brutes really early on, so I'm thinking of instituting costs into upgrading stats such as 10 XP to raise a stat / add or increase a modifier by one...?

FYI - currently revamping the character creation section to see if I like the point spend system or the original roll-for-it system I have in place. I think that it would be easier and quicker to roll for creation, then spend to enhance.

[ScribeofAges]

Also: How about this for a ability for the warrior:

Taint of the Shadow
Cost - 25 Experience Points, 15 Health Points, 10 Pilot Points

Sometimes the allure of ranged weapons in combat is too great, even for the most orthodox of warriors. When a warrior trades in his blades for pistols and powder, he cannot look back. With this ability, a Warrior loses his Attack stat, and gains a Gun stat of 1d8. He may still purchase the Akimbo ability, and his pistols may still be enchanted, but the Warrior now suffers a -4 to Dex vs. bladed weapon attacks.

[Knaight]

On advancing skills, you could make costs huge after character creation, ie the new die type(so a d12 is 12) squared, meaning to go from 8-10 is 100 points, 10-12 is 144 points, and it gets more expensive from there. Basic skills would be a lot easier to improve, 4-6 is only 36 points.

Hit points would be a similar matter, to go up one hit point it takes as many points as the total hit points you would have after gaining the hit point, squared. So to go from 1-2 hit points is 4 point, to go from 19 to 20 is 400. Its basic, consistent, easy to remember math that scales well.

[ScribeofAges]

Alright, I've updated the experience system to eliminate levels and simply enter a points system, added one new Warrior ability, and added rules for Capital Ship movement.

Sorry it took so long, life and all. After the critiquing is close to done, I would really like to try and run a game sometime. Scrutinize away!

Updated PDF: http://www.mediafire.com/?0tzwn1mgntj

I left character creation alone after much thought - I finally came to the conclusion that in order to get people hooked in the game and interested, it had to be set up quickly. Ergo, dice rolls for creation.

[ScribeofAges]

Alright, final update for today - I included a scaled game piece section that you can print and cut out for use on a battle mat with 1" hexes. It's a much heftier PDF now.

Latest version: http://www.mediafire.com/?ezwzdzwjyvy

[Knaight]

You left in skill points giving skills, rather than experience points. Some editing would be good there.

On Page 21 you end the "capital ship combat" paragraph with one word that doesn't ever become a complete sentence.

Its still to heavily class based for my taste, but its certainly playable now, and if it works with how you like role playing games, edit what I mentioned and go ahead and start.