Behold: The Master Shake!

[Piedmon_Sama]

Yes, that's right, the first (and perhaps last.... I AM lazy) conversion to D&D from the twisted universe of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. And who better to lead the charge than heroic leader Master Shake!

Master Shake
Milkshake Commoner 2
Medium-Size humanoid
Hitdie: 2D4+1 (HP 8)
Initiative: + 1 (Dex)
Speed: 30 ft
AC: 11 (+1 Dex)
Attacks: Slap +0 melee, Shotgun -2 ranged
Damage: slap 1d4-1, Shotgun 2d12
Face/Reach: 5 ft by 5 ft/5 ft.
Special Attacks: Squirt
SQ: Psionics, critical immunity
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +0, Will -2
Abilities: Str 9, Dex 12, Con 12, Int 13, Wis 7, Cha 7
Skills: Bluff +5, Knowledge [Celebrities & Gossip] +5, Knowledge [Trash TV] +4
Feats: Skill Focus: Bluff
-------
Climate/Terrain: New Jersey suburbs
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Possibly a few spare Sprint cell phones.
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Advancement: By character class

Master Shake is a human-sized milkshake living in a low-rent suburb of New Jersey. His origin is sketchy, but the popular theory is that he was created by one Dr. Weird in a secret island lab off the New Jersey shore. He lives with his "siblings" Frylock and Meatwad, the trio collectively known as the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Master Shake is ostensibly the leader of this band, although no one in their right mind would ever take him seriously.

Master Shake is utterly self-absorbed and gives no thought to the needs or concerns of others. He has been best described, by his own creators, as "an ***hole," and he puts his own short-term needs first at all times. He has nothing approaching empathy for others, and he is typically oblivious to much of what goes on around him. He dreams of someday being a Hollywood "player" although he has nothing approaching a work ethic. He is constantly devising get-rich-quick schemes and new ways to put himself in the public eye. None of these absurd plans ever come close to working.

Master Shake speaks English/Common and acknowledges no other tongues.

Combat

Although he is belligerant and short-tempered, Master Shake is also very much a coward. Unless he has managed to temporarily convince himself of his own invincible greatness, he will attempt to bluff his way out of combat (usually with absurd stories no one would believe), or he will get the more capable Frylock or expendible Meatwad to do his dirty work for him. If pressed, he has a sawed-off shotgun he has no idea how to use, and as a last resort, his "deadly Shake powers."

It is interesting to note that, despite the fact that he is a living milkshake given unholy life by mad sciences, Master Shake's physiology is markedly similar to many humanoids. He possesses a working musculature beneath his plastic shell, and although his innards contain the pink sludge of a milkshake, it is possible it is stored amongst other, more conventional organs. Master Shake requires food, drink and sleep to survive, although it is possible he can survive without oxygen. (His aversion to dangerous situations makes it hard to say for sure.) Shake is susceptible to disease as any other humanoid is.

Squirt: Each of the Aqua Teens has been imbued with a special power, and this is Master Shake's. Well, "power" may be a misnomer... this is more of a side effect of his unique biology. Once per day, Master Shake can fire off a squirt of his pink, sludge-like guts at the enemy. The sludge is a sugar-based semisolid with no effects to speak of. It has no offensive usefulness at all. Firing the sludge is a full-round action, and it counts as a thrown splash-attack.

Critical Immunity: Although he possesses a working physiology, it is not layed out in a way like most humanoids. This means that Shake has no immediately apparent "vitals" and a stab between his eyes is no worse than a gash along his rim. Shake is immune to critical hits (this nullifies the effect of certain magical weapons, such as a Vorpal sword.)

Psionics: Remarkably, Master Shake appears to be possessed of a raw, destructive psychic power that he is thankfully unaware of. The power only takes one form, when Shake becomes angry or frustrated. Any object he can pick up and hurl will become charged with psychic energy and detonate on (or slightly before) impact, exploding in a puff of fire. The specific object is irrelevant. Treat it as a grenadelike weapon that does 3D6 direct damage, 1d6 splash, with a range increment of 10 feet (even if the object is small, Master Shake would never bother to throw further than convenient.)

Note that Shake is not actually aware he possesses these powers. They only activate when he is extremely angered, usually when his rage is focused on some object (such as the TV or telephone.) He would not have the presence of mind to use this ability in battle, simply to destroy a troublesome appliance or tool.

[Blade-Bearer_Ian]

O_o that is... kickass. Someone has GOT to put that in a campaign! :D

[MagFlare]

;D

Laziness is not permitted. You must do the rest.

[Piedmon_Sama]

And ON that note.... on to Frylock!

Frylock
Box of Fries Adept 3
Medium Sized Humanoid

Hitdie: 3D6+1 (18 HP)
Initiative: +0
Speed: Hover 30 ft.
AC: 10
Attacks: Slam +1 melee
Damage: Slam 1d6-1 melee
Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye beams
Special Qualities: Telekinesis
Saves Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +4
Abilities: Str: 9, Dex: 11 Con 12, Int 16, Wis 13, Cha 11
Skills: Profession [Programmer] +6, Knowledge [Mechanics & Technology] +7, Knowledge [Science, applied & theoretical] +9, Knowledge [History] +6, Knowledge [Occult Lore] +7, Knowledge [Arcana] +7, Diplomacy +5, Sense Motive +7, Spot +6, Listen +6, Search +4
Feats: Alertness, Maximize Spell: Eyebeams
-----------------
Climate/Terrain: New Jersey Suburbs
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating 4
Treasure: His prize computer, maybe....
Alignment: Neutral Good
Advancement: By character class

Frylock is the second of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force trio. As the name suggests, he is a living box of golden fries, sporting a chic goatee. His plastic body is about the size of a halfling or gnome, but he continuously hovers several feet off the ground to achieve human height. Frylock is apparently powered by a large mystical gem that lies embedded in his back. He can use two of his long fries as pseudopods to manipulate and even grasp, although the fries have no apparent means of manual dexterity.

Frylock is the "intellectual" of the group (making him capable of such weighty tasks as paying the rent and cleaning his room), and usually serves as the "straight man" to balance out Shake's selfishness and Meatwad's stupidity. He is a skilled scientist and inventor, and appears to have had the closest relationship with Dr. Weird, the Aqua Teens' original creator. He tends to act in a "big brother" role for Meatwad, trying to look after him. He detests Master Shake, but sticks with him partially from filial piety and partially to make sure he doesn't get Meatwad killed. Despite his nice attitude, Frylock is very much a "nerd." He has an internet girlfriend (who believes he is a burly fireman), and little skill in making friends (another reason why he hangs out with Shake & 'the Wad.')

It is possible that there was no "true" Frylock until the second incarnation of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. During the initial confrontation with Space Ghost, "Frylock v.1" claimed to be a teenager in a suit shortly before Zorak ate him. (Him being human would likely not stop Zorak from eating him.)

Combat

Without a doubt, Frylock is the most powerful of the Aqua Teens. Partially because he is the only one who is mentally competent, and partially because he is the only one with actual offensive powers. It is unknown if the energy and telekinetics he displays stem from his (considerable) brainpower, or from the mystic gem on his back. Frylock never looks to start a fight, and would rather settle matters peacably. He is not above abusing his powers when he is annoyed, however, and if he is pressed into battle he rarely leaves survivors. On the other hand, if his powers fail him, Frylock will generally exercise the better part of valor (he'll try to save Meatwad but wouldn't stick out his neck for Master Shake.)

Critical Immunity: Like Master Shake, Frylock has a complex and working system of musculature and organs. (A poster of the "visible Frylock" hangs above his bed.) However, it is layed out in a way completely alien to bipedal human convention. Therefore Frylock is immune to critical hits. (This negates the effect of certain magic weapons, such as a Vorpal sword.)

Eye Beams: As a move-equivelant action, Frylock can fire beams of what appears to be azure lightning from his eyes. This is a ranged touch attack that is maximized to always do 60 damage, with a succesful saving throw (DC 18) reducing it to half. The eye beams have a range increment of 20 feet. This is a spell-like ability.

Telekinesis: As many times per day as he needs, Frylock can cast Telekinesis as a 12th-level Wizard. The telekenesis also projects in a beam from his eyes, reducing it to objects within the field of his vision. Other than that, it functions exactly as the spell described in the Player's Handbook. This is also a spell-like ability.

[Akiosama]

Why do you think Master Shake would be Neutral Evil? (Just curious.) I think I figure him to be Chaotic Neutral. NE always seemed to me to be Evil for the sake of being Evil. CN is more of a selfish alignment, which is where I see Master Shake.

Just my 2 yen,

Game on!

Akio

[valadil]

Shake isn't take-over-and-enslave-the-world-evil. He's just someone who is only in it for himself. He's certainly mean spirited, as he tortures meatwad for his own amusement, so I'm gonna have to agree with him being NE.

[Piedmon_Sama]

Shake's so self-absorbed he's actually tried to kill Meatwad for his own amusement on several occasions (telling him to cross the street with his eyes closed, throwing him in the microwave or drying machine). Of course, the attempts have never actually been too serious, but still.

I'd actually considered making Shake chaotic evil, since he completely lacks any ability to focus or think long-term, but he's really too much of a coward to share Belkar's alignment.

[Piedmon_Sama]

Carl Brutananadilewski
Human Commoner 1
Medium-Size Humanoid
Hitdie: 1D4+1 (HP 8)
Initiative: +0 (Dex)
Speed: 30 ft
AC 10
Attacks: Punch -3 melee, Shotgun +0 ranged
Damage Punch 1d4+1, Shotgun 2D12
Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft/5 ft
Special Attacks: None
SQ: None
Saves: Fortitude +1, Ref +0, Will +0
Abilities: Str 13, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 8
Skills: Knowledge [Rock & Roll] +2, Profession [Factoryman] +4, Craft: Autoshop & Repair +4
Feats: Toughness, Weapon Proficiency: Shotgun
---------

Climate/Terrain: New Jersey Suburbs
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 1/2
Treasure:

Carl, who's last name I can spell thanks to Wikipedia, is the only human who didn't abandon his neighborhood when the Aqua-Teens moved in. He is their next door neighbor, and he lives alone. Although he worked in factories since he was a boy, Carl currently "works out of the home." His personality can be charitably described as "blue collar." He is rude, crude and an utter slob. Carl is tall, fat and balding with a mustache. He never wears anything but the same dirty white wife beater, sweatpants, flipflops, and a greasy dimestore gold chain.

Even though he is the only person who lives close to them, Carl despises the Aqua Teens. (Apparently the only reason he hasn't left yet is because no one will buy his house.) Even Frylock, who is polite and respectful, gets the cold shoulder. Carl can hardly tolerate the Aqua Teens standing on his property for more than a moment, and he has attempted to kill them for tresspassing before.

Although he is a lonely, miserable old slob, Carl has his hobbies. He is an old rocker, with memorabilia and extensive knowledge of bands such as The Scorpions and Judas Priest. His pornography collection is a prize worthy of Shakes's most ambitious schemes, and his pride and joy is his tricked-out hotrod "2 Wycked." He also owns a swimming pool in his backyard, which the Aqua Teens often use without his permission.

Combat

Carl only engages in combat on the occasion when the Aqua Teens (specifically Master Shake) must be driven from his house. He has no outstanding ability or experience at combat, and the misadventures of the Aqua Teens frequently end in his apparent death. Carl's sawed-off shotgun is one of many items that Master Shake frequently borrows without permission.

Due to his prolonged exposure to the Aqua Teens and the weirdness that inevitably surrounds them, Carl has become jaded to even the most spectacular or bizarre of supernatural events. His house and car have been demolished by giant robots, death rays and maurading aliens so many times that he has become blase to even the most disasterous events. He only shows real shock and horror when he finds himself being maimed or disembowled (which happens with alarming frequency.)

[Leperflesh]

I think it's important to note that Carl has superhuman inflappability. He has seen so much insane stuff (mostly originating from his neighbors) that he now takes even the most egregious violations of his person, his property, or the laws of physics in a permanent state of resigned apathy. He only really freaks out if something mind-bogglingly painful is happening to him (such as being flayed alive), and even then, there is a certain hesitancy to his reaction.

Minor occurrences, such as the total destruction of his home, alien visitation, the loss of a limb, etc. are usually met with a deadpan reaction of sarcasm, such as "Oh, good.".

-Lep

[Maxymiuk]

Also, both Shake and Carl suffer from the Curse of Kenny. They may both end up dead/horribly maimed at the end of most episodes, but in the next one they are once again alive and well, without any apparent recollection of past events.

[Rei_Jin]

I'd love to see the stats of meatwad and the moon guys as well. Those moon guys were hilarious.

Next? Sealab 2021 must be done. It MUST be done.

[Leperflesh]

I think the ATHF (and carl) inhabit a particular universe which posesses 'episodic non-causality', a sort of time-disconnect. The results of which are that no matter what happens in the course of one adventure, this has no causal effect on the state of the characters - they begin the next episode exactly the same.

Once consequence of this is that the characters cannot age, level up, or truly affect their circumstances in any way. Another consequence of this is that they are utterly unaware of this predicament (although apparently they are aware of it in a subconscous manner - which serves to explain the weary, apathetic manner in which some of the characters seem to accept their fate).

In a different way, however, some consequences do seem to accumulate. Newly introduced characters seem to persist - in fact, defeated bad guys find themselves hanging around, at a loss for any true purpose, joining bad-guy clubs to try and figure out what to do with themselves. Certain objects may also persist, such as the uneated sun-dried tomatoes of the Broodwich.

And yes, we will need stats for the Mooninites, the Ghost of Christmas Past of the Future, and possibly the frat aliens.

-Lep

[Piedmon_Sama]

I'm planning on Ignignokt and Err to be the next conversions. I'll have to rewatch the Eps with GoCFP to remind myself exactly of what he can do, but he's also one of my favorites. I'm basically doing this in order of which characters I like, which is why you haven't seen Meatwad yet (and probably won't see those damn frat aliens. "My dad owns a dealership!")

[OzymandiasVolt]

Problem: Master Shake and Frylock are absolutely not humanoid. Aberration would be more fitting.

Also, you deserve some kind of trophy for this thread.

[Piedmon_Sama]

Problem: Master Shake and Frylock are absolutely not humanoid. Aberration would be more fitting.

Also, you deserve some kind of trophy for this thread.

I think you could make a case for Frylock (I debated with myself for a long time whether he should be Aberration or Humanoid.) Shake, on the other hand, is a roughly humanoid shape. I'm aware that Mind Flayers are technically Aberrations too, but I never understood the reasoning behind that.

And thanks! This is a surprising amount of fun.