Umael
2009-08-24, 06:17 PM
One of my co-workers is getting married this Saturday. He is taking most of the week off (and some next week, I believe).
So I made him a "You're getting married!? My condolences..." card.
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is finding that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Every man/woman should marry - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Before marriage, read top-down
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
After marriage, read bottom-up.
And finally…
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
-Ogden Nash
Then I got everyone else in the office to sign it.
So... anyone else done something else mischievous at work/school recently?
So I made him a "You're getting married!? My condolences..." card.
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is finding that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Every man/woman should marry - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to run his, either.
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Before marriage, read top-down
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
After marriage, read bottom-up.
And finally…
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
-Ogden Nash
Then I got everyone else in the office to sign it.
So... anyone else done something else mischievous at work/school recently?