rezplz
2009-09-06, 01:46 AM
So, even though it lead to the death of our entire party, I have to admit that what happened in my DnD group today amused me, even though it pissed off one of the other people in the group. Oh well. :)
So, first off. I'm playing Ardil, a human wizard/lore master (diviner/blaster)under permanent reduce person (and many other permanent spells. Dispel magic was his greatest fear). 2'10", and 18 pounds. A short little guy who's a huge bookworm, but doesn't quite enjoy being picked on. Also a little bit of a smartass from time to time.
My friend was playing Vorzac, a full-orc barbarian with a one level dip in sorcerer to qualify for the dragon disciple prestige class. Beefy dude. 7 feet tall, 260 pounds. Powerhouse, basically.
The basic background: the mystic theurge of the group was kidnapped by a lich, so the party decided to go try to save her. Ardil decided to tag along, as he was hoping to learn a few new spells from Emira (seeing how the party burned the house down of the necromancer he was GOING to learn from... long story on that one). Through a good dose of scrying and teleportation on Ardil's part and a liberal application of the commune spell on the cleric's part, we managed to figure out where they were going. So we go there, kill a few lizardfolk in the nearby swamp, and find this abandoned arcane school. Along the way, my friend decides that Vorzac, for some reason, doesn't like Ardil. Most likely because I was playing a short character again. So a couple of times, he would say something like this:
Vorzac: I grab Ardil and throw him ten feet into the air
The first couple of times, Ardil was seriously peeved but managed to let it slide. Then we get to the maze in the basement of the arcane school, and that's when things get fun. Through use of the Guards and Wards spell, which I had previously never heard of (This was the highest level I had ever been, at level 10), our wilderness rogue and Vorzac, who had gone in first to scout things out. This is where Vorzac proceeded to trigger EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE FEW TRAPS THAT MY DM HAD PUT INTO THE MAZE, minus about one or two. Vorzac found a double door. Vorzac decided to kick in this double door. An iron golem, hiding behind the door, punched Vorzac in the face.
Vorzac ran.
He bumped into the wilderness rogue, and they ran for a bit, before they triggered a pit trap. The rogue rolled terribly, Vorzac rolled great, so the rogue fell in while Vorzac stopped in time. Because of the fog, he could see only five feet in front of him - he couldn't see accross the pit trap completely. So, Vorzac decides to jump over the pit.
SPLAT! He hits the wall and falls down the hundred-foot deep pit. Both he and the rogue are alive, and have rings of sustenence, however. So they just sit tight and wait for a rescue.
Over the course of a few days the rest of the party (ardil, a cleric, and a fighter) try to find them, get lost, find the iron golem, run away, come back, run away, come back with an adamantium scimitar, and barely manage to kill the golem. It's been five days and Vorzac finally managed to climb out. He and the rogue go exploring, get to a dead-end. No doors, no nothing. Vorzac, feeling suspicious, went to touch the wall. Of course, this is the one wall in the whole maze that is trapped - it falls on him, killing him. The rest of the party finally find the others, and they teleport back to town to raise vorzac. But you see, this is not the first time vorzac has died in this campaign, so poor vorzac is very irritated right now. We teleport back in front of the maze, ready to enter - when Vorzac comments on how useless ardil is. (keep in mind that Ardil just gained 11th level and learned disintegrate, and everyone knew this)
Here is where the PVP starts, which lead to the TPK.
Ardil: (talking about the iron golem that Vorzac had run away from) Yeah, we basically gave the fighter an adamantium scimitar and buffed him up, let him take care of the golem.
Vorzac: Wow, you're useless.
Ardil: What?!
Vorzac: I pick up ardil and toss him ten feet backwards.
At this point, I decided that ardil had enough. I looked at Vorzac's player, and asked him, "Are you sure?" While looking at my spell list, making it perfectly obvious which spell I was looking at. He said yes. Frustrated, trying to make it obvious what Ardil would do, I asked again. Four more times. After saying yes every time, I sighed. There was only one thing that Ardil would do after being bullied around by this huge orc brute.
Round 1:
Ardil: I cast disintegrate. (The DM rolled the damage for me, getting many 1s. Vorzac survived, lucky bastard)
Vorzac: Okay.
Me: Wait wait wait. You just got a disintegrate in the face, nearly killing you, and you're OKAY with this? You're just going to let it slide? (Naturally, I was very confused.)
Vorzac: Okay, I charge and attack. (He hit. Beefy guy like that, took out more than half of my health)
Round 2:
Ardil: I cast greater invisibility and book it.
Vorzac: Okay, I -
DM: Not so fast. Everyone make reflex saves. A fireball erupts and (checks rolls) kills Ardil and Vorzac and damages the rest of you except the rogue.
Fighter: I try to run.
Cleric(controlled by vorzac now) and rogue: we look around, try to find our attacker.
Round 3:
DM: Make reflex saves. Chain lightning hits the cleric first, killing him, damaging the fighter, and dealing no damage to the rogue.
Fighter: (I was controlling him. Seeing lawful evil on his sheet [I think someone wrote that as a joke since his player never wrote alignment and such down] I acted accordingly) Wait! I'll join you!
Rogue: Still can't find this caster.
Round 4:
DM: Make reflex saves. A fireball erupts in the room, killing the fighter and dealing no damage to the rogue.
Rogue: Still can't find him.
The rogue didn't last much longer. ;P We later learned that, the lich had been in his little throne room down below the moment we first went into the maze, buffing himself for the fight. He sat there, tapping his fingers, waiting for the dramatic introduction... for five days. Impatient, he finally went to the entrance of the maze, saw us killing each other, and decided to screw it and started casting its spells at us while under greater invisibility.
So even though we died, me and vorzac high-fived each other and and we played some rock band. The rogue was pissed. The fighter and cleric were absent, and I don't think they would have been happy either. So what are your stories of hilarious bits of PVP that end up turning bad for the whole party?
So, first off. I'm playing Ardil, a human wizard/lore master (diviner/blaster)under permanent reduce person (and many other permanent spells. Dispel magic was his greatest fear). 2'10", and 18 pounds. A short little guy who's a huge bookworm, but doesn't quite enjoy being picked on. Also a little bit of a smartass from time to time.
My friend was playing Vorzac, a full-orc barbarian with a one level dip in sorcerer to qualify for the dragon disciple prestige class. Beefy dude. 7 feet tall, 260 pounds. Powerhouse, basically.
The basic background: the mystic theurge of the group was kidnapped by a lich, so the party decided to go try to save her. Ardil decided to tag along, as he was hoping to learn a few new spells from Emira (seeing how the party burned the house down of the necromancer he was GOING to learn from... long story on that one). Through a good dose of scrying and teleportation on Ardil's part and a liberal application of the commune spell on the cleric's part, we managed to figure out where they were going. So we go there, kill a few lizardfolk in the nearby swamp, and find this abandoned arcane school. Along the way, my friend decides that Vorzac, for some reason, doesn't like Ardil. Most likely because I was playing a short character again. So a couple of times, he would say something like this:
Vorzac: I grab Ardil and throw him ten feet into the air
The first couple of times, Ardil was seriously peeved but managed to let it slide. Then we get to the maze in the basement of the arcane school, and that's when things get fun. Through use of the Guards and Wards spell, which I had previously never heard of (This was the highest level I had ever been, at level 10), our wilderness rogue and Vorzac, who had gone in first to scout things out. This is where Vorzac proceeded to trigger EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE FEW TRAPS THAT MY DM HAD PUT INTO THE MAZE, minus about one or two. Vorzac found a double door. Vorzac decided to kick in this double door. An iron golem, hiding behind the door, punched Vorzac in the face.
Vorzac ran.
He bumped into the wilderness rogue, and they ran for a bit, before they triggered a pit trap. The rogue rolled terribly, Vorzac rolled great, so the rogue fell in while Vorzac stopped in time. Because of the fog, he could see only five feet in front of him - he couldn't see accross the pit trap completely. So, Vorzac decides to jump over the pit.
SPLAT! He hits the wall and falls down the hundred-foot deep pit. Both he and the rogue are alive, and have rings of sustenence, however. So they just sit tight and wait for a rescue.
Over the course of a few days the rest of the party (ardil, a cleric, and a fighter) try to find them, get lost, find the iron golem, run away, come back, run away, come back with an adamantium scimitar, and barely manage to kill the golem. It's been five days and Vorzac finally managed to climb out. He and the rogue go exploring, get to a dead-end. No doors, no nothing. Vorzac, feeling suspicious, went to touch the wall. Of course, this is the one wall in the whole maze that is trapped - it falls on him, killing him. The rest of the party finally find the others, and they teleport back to town to raise vorzac. But you see, this is not the first time vorzac has died in this campaign, so poor vorzac is very irritated right now. We teleport back in front of the maze, ready to enter - when Vorzac comments on how useless ardil is. (keep in mind that Ardil just gained 11th level and learned disintegrate, and everyone knew this)
Here is where the PVP starts, which lead to the TPK.
Ardil: (talking about the iron golem that Vorzac had run away from) Yeah, we basically gave the fighter an adamantium scimitar and buffed him up, let him take care of the golem.
Vorzac: Wow, you're useless.
Ardil: What?!
Vorzac: I pick up ardil and toss him ten feet backwards.
At this point, I decided that ardil had enough. I looked at Vorzac's player, and asked him, "Are you sure?" While looking at my spell list, making it perfectly obvious which spell I was looking at. He said yes. Frustrated, trying to make it obvious what Ardil would do, I asked again. Four more times. After saying yes every time, I sighed. There was only one thing that Ardil would do after being bullied around by this huge orc brute.
Round 1:
Ardil: I cast disintegrate. (The DM rolled the damage for me, getting many 1s. Vorzac survived, lucky bastard)
Vorzac: Okay.
Me: Wait wait wait. You just got a disintegrate in the face, nearly killing you, and you're OKAY with this? You're just going to let it slide? (Naturally, I was very confused.)
Vorzac: Okay, I charge and attack. (He hit. Beefy guy like that, took out more than half of my health)
Round 2:
Ardil: I cast greater invisibility and book it.
Vorzac: Okay, I -
DM: Not so fast. Everyone make reflex saves. A fireball erupts and (checks rolls) kills Ardil and Vorzac and damages the rest of you except the rogue.
Fighter: I try to run.
Cleric(controlled by vorzac now) and rogue: we look around, try to find our attacker.
Round 3:
DM: Make reflex saves. Chain lightning hits the cleric first, killing him, damaging the fighter, and dealing no damage to the rogue.
Fighter: (I was controlling him. Seeing lawful evil on his sheet [I think someone wrote that as a joke since his player never wrote alignment and such down] I acted accordingly) Wait! I'll join you!
Rogue: Still can't find this caster.
Round 4:
DM: Make reflex saves. A fireball erupts in the room, killing the fighter and dealing no damage to the rogue.
Rogue: Still can't find him.
The rogue didn't last much longer. ;P We later learned that, the lich had been in his little throne room down below the moment we first went into the maze, buffing himself for the fight. He sat there, tapping his fingers, waiting for the dramatic introduction... for five days. Impatient, he finally went to the entrance of the maze, saw us killing each other, and decided to screw it and started casting its spells at us while under greater invisibility.
So even though we died, me and vorzac high-fived each other and and we played some rock band. The rogue was pissed. The fighter and cleric were absent, and I don't think they would have been happy either. So what are your stories of hilarious bits of PVP that end up turning bad for the whole party?