PDA

View Full Version : superpowers that are not all that when you think about it



Pages : [1] 2

taltamir
2009-10-27, 10:26 PM
So, captain america's super power was steroids... and batman's super power is money (actually a lot of super heroes have money as their super power). So what are some other super powers that are not that super when you get right down to it?

Temotei
2009-10-27, 10:28 PM
The ability to post on the wrong board. :smallwink:

Glimbur
2009-10-27, 10:29 PM
Aquaman can breathe underwater and talk to fish.

Kosjsjach
2009-10-27, 10:32 PM
The ability to post on the wrong board. :smallwink:

I agree. This doesn't seem like the place for this.

Besides, Batman's "superpower" isn't money, but super-preparation. :smallcool:

Mando Knight
2009-10-27, 10:33 PM
Aquaman can breathe underwater and talk to fish.

And Batman's white blood cells!

AstralFire
2009-10-27, 10:35 PM
Batman's superpower is somehow managing to have mastered 127 martial arts, tracking, escape, and pain resistance and gotten post-graduate, graduate, and master's level education in something like 5 different fields from the time he was 12 'til he was in his mid-20s, and then going out and adventuring on a daily basis while becoming a highly successful CEO that transformed a large company into the richest one in the entire world and yet no one manages to notice.

seriously if they'd just give him 'super memory' I might be able to start buying some of that.

Glimbur
2009-10-27, 10:43 PM
Batman's superpower is somehow managing to have mastered 127 martial arts, tracking, escape, and pain resistance and gotten post-graduate, graduate, and master's level education in something like 5 different fields from the time he was 12 'til he was in his mid-20s, and then going out and adventuring on a daily basis while becoming a highly successful CEO that transformed a large company into the richest one in the entire world and yet no one manages to notice.

seriously if they'd just give him 'super memory' I might be able to start buying some of that.

Silly AstralFire, he simply pulled himself up by his bootstraps.

drengnikrafe
2009-10-27, 10:46 PM
I have a vague memory in the back of my head of some guy who could create ice out of water particles in the air. I want to say it was part of The Incredibles. In any case... "Congrats, you have all the powers of a household appliance"...

That, or mind control that you can't fully control. Think... What Women Want, if things go awry. Reading surface thoughts... What good is that, really?

taltamir
2009-10-27, 10:50 PM
Aquaman can breathe underwater and talk to fish.

Ha, nice...


The ability to post on the wrong board. :smallwink:

oops, sorry.

Zaydos
2009-10-27, 10:51 PM
I have a vague memory in the back of my head of some guy who could create ice out of water particles in the air. I want to say it was part of The Incredibles. In any case... "Congrats, you have all the powers of a household appliance"...

That, or mind control that you can't fully control. Think... What Women Want, if things go awry. Reading surface thoughts... What good is that, really?

There was a guy in the Incredibles with that power, and that's also Ice Man's power in the original X-Men comics.

AstralFire
2009-10-27, 10:53 PM
The thing to remember about weak superpowers is that you inevitably have someone who was a huge fan of the character who grows up and gets to write them for a living and all of a sudden the weak superpower pulls all sorts of **** out from nowhere.

This is why air/water control always get so many random esoteric uses that would take an immense amount of energy to work, but yet people can't ever seem to be willing to give alternate usages to thermo/pyrokinesis, despite combustion being the driving point of technology through the ages. o.O

Mando Knight
2009-10-27, 10:53 PM
Silly AstralFire, he simply pulled himself up by his bootstraps.

No, he didn't. He pulled himself up by his Bat-Straps. :smalltongue:

taltamir
2009-10-27, 10:55 PM
The thing to remember about weak superpowers is that you inevitably have someone who was a huge fan of the character who grows up and gets to write them for a living and all of a sudden the weak superpower pulls all sorts of **** out from nowhere.

This is why air/water control always get so many random esoteric uses that would take an immense amount of energy to work, but yet people can't ever seem to be willing to give alternate usages to thermo/pyrokinesis, despite combustion being the driving point of technology through the ages. o.O

yea... they would actually save many more lives and suffering if they open power plants with their ability to break the laws of thermodynamics and create infinite energy out of thin air.

drengnikrafe
2009-10-27, 10:57 PM
yea... they would actually save many more lives and suffering if they open power plants with their ability to break the laws of thermodynamics and create infinite energy out of thin air.

I stand corrected. The ability to save the world from itself with infinite energy generation is a really cool superpower. I just never thought about that before.

Starscream
2009-10-27, 11:06 PM
Green Lantern's power is bling.

Zatanna's power is verbal dyslexia.

Hawkman's power is flying (but not as well as any of the other heroes who can fly).

Plastic Man's power is being Silly Putty.

Elongated Man's power is being Silly Putty, but neither as putty-like or as silly as Plastic Man.

Martian Manhunter's power is being an attempt to make Superman more sci-fi, and also afraid of sparklers.

Rex the Wonder Dog's power is being as smart as a human while being a medium sized dog (i.e., weaker and more vulnerable than a human while also lacking thumbs)

Wonder Woman's power is somehow being a feminist icon even though her abilities are almost as good as her male counterpart's.

Batman's power is an obsessive attention to detail, excellent detective skills, and paranoia being Adrian Monk.

Dr. Midnight's power is being a blind guy who can see.

Captain Marvel's power is being a rip off of Superman who is allowed to exist only because he is now owned by the same guys who own Superman.

Beast Boy's power is turning into any creature that is less powerful than a superhero.

John Constantine's power is being Sting.

Aquaman's power is being able to watch Flipper and know that the dolphin was actually cursing like a sailor the whole time.

Green Arrow's power is using a weapon that was phased out in favor of guns centuries ago.

Lobo's power is forgetting who he is supposed to be a parody of and parodying himself instead.

Matter Eater Lad's power is an eating disorder.

Mr. Miracle's power is escaping, which is only useful if he lets himself get captured first.

Hourman's power is drug addiction.

Ambush Bug's power is that Keith Giffen gets bored about once a decade and writes him a miniseries.

Starscream
2009-10-27, 11:34 PM
And now the Marvel characters!

Deadpool's power is being Ambush Bug but with a healing factor and an internet following.

Squirrel Girl's power is being Ambush Bug and Deadpool, but also appealing to furries.

Wolverine's power is healing so fast that he forgets not to get hurt in the first place.

The Punisher's power is being a supervillain, and having the other heroes not notice.

Hawkeye's power is being a less popular version of Green Arrow, but he helped found the Avengers, so he keeps appearing even though he can never hang on to a title of his own.

Iron Man's power is a robot suit that is nowhere near as powerful as the many actual robots hanging around (Vision, Sentinels, etc).

Captain America's power is being topical.

Thor's power is speaking Olde Early Modern English despite being Norse.

Cable's power is somehow making it out of the early nineties intact.

Black Bolt's power is never being allowed to talk.

Blade's power is being probably not nearly as good at killing vampires as most of the people on this list would be (if they bothered, which they don't so apparently vampires aren't a big deal).

Spider-Man's power is moot, because it is physically impossible to discuss Spider-Man on the internet without it becoming a rant about One More Day, Quesada you stupid $%^&!!!

Cyclops' power is that nobody likes him but he somehow gets the hottest chicks in the universe.

Daredevil's power is being Dr. Midnight, but with considerable drawbacks.

Ghost Rider's power is being, like, this wicked sweet tattoo I'm totally going to get, guys. It's going to have like a motorcycle, but instead of a helmet the guy riding it just has a skull, and it's totally going to be on fire, dude!

Ant-Man's power is that no matter what he does, nobody will ever forget that he hit his wife once.

Wasp's power is that she let him do it, even though she is a much more capable superhero than he is, and could have totally kicked his butt.

Silver Surfer's power is whatever the writers find convenient this issue.

Storm's power is putting her own 30 years of character development on hold and sublimating her entire personality so that she could marry a guy no one likes.

Zeta Kai
2009-10-27, 11:39 PM
Superman's power is that the writers can't keep track of his abilities & limitations, so they just let him do whatever he feels like.

I'm sorry, what I meant was whatever he super-feels like.

herrhauptmann
2009-10-27, 11:44 PM
Plastic Man's power is being Silly Putty.

Elongated Man's power is being Silly Putty, but neither as putty-like or as silly as Plastic Man.

Either plastic or elongated man actually gets his powers from some drug that makes him stretchy. It's the one who's wife got murdered a few years ago, setting off Infinite Crisis or some other major "And the multiverse would never be the same, AGAIN" plotline.

Doesn't earth have like 5 greenlanterns, 6 if you count Guy Gardner? And each, despite getting his power from the same source, seems to have different weaknesses (the color yellow for one, a specific variety of wood for another).

And you forgot Mr Terrific, who's power is to set up amazing Rube Goldberg devices using other people, so that their powers can combine in new and interesting ways to save the day, then they never do it again. (Like star trek always ejecting or modifying the warp core)

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-27, 11:45 PM
Robin's power is that he plays catch with Batman. :smallredface:

AstralFire
2009-10-27, 11:47 PM
Wood is a weakness for one Green Lantern, and he has convoluted reasons for why he's different from all of his real-world successors.

The others all used to have yellow as a weakness and now they don't.

Yellow was the lamest of all the kryptonite-style weaknesses in comics ever. A color. Seriously. Who the hell thought that was a good idea.

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-27, 11:48 PM
Wood is a weakness for one Green Lantern, and he has convoluted reasons for why he's different from all of his real-world successors.

The others all used to have yellow as a weakness and now they don't.

Yellow was the lamest of all the kryptonite-style weaknesses in comics ever. A color. Seriously. Who the hell thought that was a good idea.

The Colour out of Space?

Starscream
2009-10-27, 11:49 PM
Either plastic or elongated man actually gets his powers from some drug that makes him stretchy. It's the one who's wife got murdered a few years ago, setting off Infinite Crisis or some other major "And the multiverse would never be the same, AGAIN" plotline.

That's Elongated Man. He gets his powers from a soft drink called Gingold. He's dead now too, and he and his wife are now ghost detectives who can possess people. Except that they recently showed up as Black Lanterns too, and I'm not sure if becoming an evil zombie requires your soul or not, so the ghost thing might no longer be valid.


Doesn't earth have like 5 greenlanterns, 6 if you count Guy Gardner? And each, despite getting his power from the same source, seems to have different weaknesses (the color yellow for one, a specific variety of wood for another).

Sort of. The Golden Age Green Lantern's source of power is magic, and it doesn't work on wood. The Silver Age Green Lantern's power came from alien technology, and it didn't work on yellow. Then came the third one, who also used alien tech, but his did work on yellow. Now the Silver Age one is back, and his works on yellow too. Because he is fearless. Please don't ask me to explain further, it makes my head hurt.

Zaq
2009-10-27, 11:51 PM
Thor's power is speaking Olde English despite being Norse.
Linguist senses... tingling!
Please. He speaks Early Modern at most (and even then just a half-assed pseudo version of it).

Remember folks, Shakespeare is Early Modern, Chaucer is Middle, Beowulf is Old. If the average Joe can read it without squinting, it's not Old English. It's probably not even Middle (which you can probably read if you squint and use some context clues).

What's that? That's not the point? Perhaps in your mind.

[/linguist]

(Incidentally, Old Norse isn't horrifically far off from Old English. It's still a separate language, but ON had a heavy influence on OE, particularly in the late OE period. How big? Let me put it this way: we took some of our pronouns from them. That's... well, it's a really big deal. Just trust me.)

AstralFire
2009-10-27, 11:52 PM
I was thinking a less good-smart version of what you said there, but it's still funny.

Starscream
2009-10-27, 11:56 PM
Linguist senses... tingling!
Please. He speaks Early Modern at most (and even then just a half-assed pseudo version of it).

Fixed. I bow before your superior knowledge of linguistics.

Fun question: How much does it hurt your head whenever Bizarro speaks?

AstralFire
2009-10-27, 11:57 PM
This reminds me of that great photoshop of Robothor

10 SMITE YE
20 GOTO 10

herrhauptmann
2009-10-28, 12:03 AM
That's Elongated Man. He gets his powers from a soft drink called Gingold. He's dead now too, and he and his wife are now ghost detectives who can possess people. Except that they recently showed up as Black Lanterns too, and I'm not sure if becoming an evil zombie requires your soul or not, so the ghost thing might no longer be valid.

Sort of. The Golden Age Green Lantern's source of power is magic, and it doesn't work on wood. The Silver Age Green Lantern's power came from alien technology, and it didn't work on yellow. Then came the third one, who also used alien tech, but his did work on yellow. Now the Silver Age one is back, and his works on yellow too. Because he is fearless. Please don't ask me to explain further, it makes my head hurt.

Didn't elongated man lock himself in a summoning circle with Faust and a demon, preventing them from escaping, and himself from fully dying or something?

I bow before your knowledge. I read the Sinestro Corps war recently, and realized that earth had more lanterns than I realized. Plus there's the golden age one who I don't think appeared in that story arc.
So what's the deal with Guy Gardner? He had a power ring in Death/Return of Superman, but his stuff manifested yellow if I remember. And I'd swear he was back in Sinestro Corps war with a green ring.

ShadowsGrnEyes
2009-10-28, 12:03 AM
Rorschach's power is angst.

Dr. Manhatan's power is self adjusting to always be better than everyone else no matter what.

Static Shocks power is being black lightning but not not as good. also static. . . seriously?

Superboy's(1-???) power is being revamped so many times under so many different names that it hurts, also superman got old. . .

Supergirls power is being a failed attempt to combat chauvanism.

Nightwing's power is being not as good at being Batman as Batman.

Starfires power is being a yellow Mary-Sue from space. . . (be afraid Green Lantern very afraid)

Scarlet Witch's power is randomness. . . LITERALLY. . . also being a deus ex machina.

The Black Cat's super power is being captain america with boobs and a cooler costume

Jubilee's power is being the bane of electronics.

Beast's power is being blue furry and well educated.

Mystic's power is being every mans fantasy. . .

KellKheraptis
2009-10-28, 12:05 AM
Superman's power is that the writers can't keep track of his abilities & limitations, so they just let him do whatever he feels like.

I'm sorry, what I meant was whatever he super-feels like.

Until Freiza-era SSJ Kakarot puts him in his place again on EW, that is.

There, fixed! Oh, and lets not forget the mouthful of Kryptonite knuckle-duster from the Batman :)

Starscream
2009-10-28, 12:09 AM
Didn't elongated man lock himself in a summoning circle with Faust and a demon, preventing them from escaping, and himself from fully dying or something?

Yes. It was a true moment of Awesome from the character at the time, with him trapping one of the most feared villains in the universe for all time.

But then he escaped, apparently almost immediately. And we never even get told how. The writers just sort of expect us to assume that poor Ralph Dibny failed, even in his greatest sacrifice.

Zaq
2009-10-28, 12:10 AM
Fun question: How much does it hurt your head whenever Bizarro speaks?

I don't actually follow any superheroes, so I assume that Bizarro uses some kind of abominable grammar? Here's the thing: intentional mangling of English is totally different from unintentional mangling. If I can tell that the writers knew what rules they were breaking, I don't mind it at all. (Conversely, if I can tell they DIDN'T, that aggravates me.)

Also, I try very hard to be a descriptivist, rather than a prescriptivist. (A prescriptivist will cover your errors in red pen. A descriptivist will ask a bunch of questions about why and how often you talk that way.) I have... mixed success.

Sstoopidtallkid
2009-10-28, 12:15 AM
I don't actually follow any superheroes, so I assume that Bizarro uses some kind of abominable grammar? Here's the thing: intentional mangling of English is totally different from unintentional mangling. If I can tell that the writers knew what rules they were breaking, I don't mind it at all. (Conversely, if I can tell they DIDN'T, that aggravates me.)Bizarro Superman (http://www.dccomics.com/media/_dcu/heroes_and_villains/origin_stories/bizarro/1.jpg).

Heck, that even causes me physical pain.

chiasaur11
2009-10-28, 12:21 AM
Reed Richards has the power of really, really ticking off a guy in college.

Starscream
2009-10-28, 12:35 AM
I don't actually follow any superheroes, so I assume that Bizarro uses some kind of abominable grammar? Here's the thing: intentional mangling of English is totally different from unintentional mangling. If I can tell that the writers knew what rules they were breaking, I don't mind it at all. (Conversely, if I can tell they DIDN'T, that aggravates me.)


Bizarro Superman (http://www.dccomics.com/media/_dcu/heroes_and_villains/origin_stories/bizarro/1.jpg).

Heck, that even causes me physical pain.

The problem for me is that the writers can't even agree on how he talks. Sometimes he simply inverts the meaning of what he's saying: "Bizarro am Superman's best friend". Other times they try to put as many reversals in his sentences as possible: "Bizarro am not coming to hurt Lo-iz Lane because Bizarro am weakest of all, first daughter of Krypton, which still exists. Goodbye!"

Temotei
2009-10-28, 12:43 AM
No, he didn't. He pulled himself up by his Bat-Straps. :smalltongue:

Boooooo. :smallbiggrin:

Myou
2009-10-28, 04:48 AM
Arm fall-off boy. :smallbiggrin:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6f/Armfalloffboy.jpg

Foryn Gilnith
2009-10-28, 07:31 AM
seriously if they'd just give him 'super memory' I might be able to start buying some of that.

My favorite superhero in a game did indeed have super memory. He turned out sort of like Batman, except less ridiculous and less martially inclined. Super-memory (or super-learning) is traditionally my response to "what superpower would you want?"

Mr White
2009-10-28, 07:41 AM
Mine would be to be able to go to a previous 'check'/'save' point like in most video games.

bosssmiley
2009-10-28, 08:01 AM
Batman's superpower is somehow managing to have mastered 127 martial arts, tracking, escape, and pain resistance and gotten post-graduate, graduate, and master's level education in something like 5 different fields from the time he was 12 'til he was in his mid-20s, and then going out and adventuring on a daily basis while becoming a highly successful CEO that transformed a large company into the richest one in the entire world and yet no one manages to notice.

seriously if they'd just give him 'super memory' I might be able to start buying some of that.

Didn't Ayn Rand write a (grindingly tedious and overlong) book about that guy?


John Constantine's power is being Sting.

Except when he's being Neo. :smallbiggrin:

Optimystik
2009-10-28, 08:45 AM
Dr Strange's power is getting the writers out of a corner.

Faleldir
2009-10-28, 08:46 AM
Gambit is the only mainstream superhero who could justify using a bow but not a gun, so of course his weapon of choice is even sillier.

Optimystik
2009-10-28, 08:50 AM
Gambit is the only mainstream superhero who could justify using a bow but not a gun, so of course his weapon of choice is even more awesome.

Fixed that for you (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeathDealer)

Keshay
2009-10-28, 08:57 AM
Aquaman can breathe underwater and talk to fish.

That didn't take too long, did it? Aquaman is a fun character to make fun of, but only if you completely fail to think about his powers at all. Lets examine each of the powers in some actual detail and not in a dismissive, ignorant fashion.

Aquaman can breathe underwater. ANYWHERE UNDERWATER. You know the Laurentian Abyss or Mariana Trench? He can breathe there. The implications of this? 1) Resistance to cold. 2)Resistance to extreme pressures (including the extreme pressure of a bullet hitting him) 3) INSANE Strength. He can swim at 10000 ft/sec at the bottom of the ocean, (~7000mi/hr, which in reality would probably boil the water). Put him on land and he's stronger than just about any non-cosmic DC hero. 4) Vision/Hearing capable of navigating at the bottom of the ocean. He can see in total darkness, that's a neat trick.
Aquaman can talk to fish. Mental communication/control of EVERYTHING the evolved from sea life. Yeah, that includes all land animals, and bunches of aliens since, apparently, it does not matter which planet's ocean your ancestor's evolved in. Aquaman was the second most powerful telepath on Earth, right after Martain Manhunter. But I guess thats a moot point since they're both dead for now.

I think you missed the point of the thread, its supposed to be powers that are bad when you think about them, not powers that are amazingly useful and awesome when the least little bit of thought is put into it.

A power that's not so good on its own: Flight. Sure it seems great, but you'd have to wear a helmet and armor to counteract anything you run into at a reasonable velocity. Bugs, rain, birds, ect... Those things hurt when you run into them at speed, ask anyone who's been hit in the face by a grasshopper or dragonfly while riding a motercycle. Wind resistance and friction would make any loose clothing right out. Navigation would be interesting, you'd probably just end up following roads or doing ICBM-type flights. Go really high up, aim in a general direction and descend adjusting trajectory as you notice landmarks. Only problem is you'd need oxygen and really warm clothing to keep you alive to pull off that maneuver. Lastly, you know the FAA would be on your ass like white on rice.

WalkingTarget
2009-10-28, 09:15 AM
I thought Elongated Man's power was having a romantic relationship that was healthy, mature, and didn't devolve into a soap opera. At least, until a few years ago when some genius (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brad_Meltzer) decided to kill Sue off and insert some random retcons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Identity_Crisis_(comics)#Plot_summary) in a rather horrible fashion. :smallmad:

Gnaeus
2009-10-28, 09:17 AM
That didn't take too long, did it? Aquaman is a fun character to make fun of, but only if you completely fail to think about his powers at all. Lets examine each of the powers in some actual detail and not in a dismissive, ignorant fashion.

Agreed. Aquaman suffers from 2 problems.
1. No one ever thinks of him as amazingly strong or resiliant because he is always standing next to superman. Similarly, no one looks like a good fighter when standing next to batman.

2. A lot of people think of Aquaman from the old superfriends show, where he wasn't allowed to beat the snot out of people because it might make some 5 year old violent. Under those circumstances he is just the lame guy who talks to fish.

Holocron Coder
2009-10-28, 09:19 AM
A power that's not so good on its own: Flight. Sure it seems great, but you'd have to wear a helmet and armor to counteract anything you run into at a reasonable velocity. Bugs, rain, birds, ect... Those things hurt when you run into them at speed, ask anyone who's been hit in the face by a grasshopper or dragonfly while riding a motercycle. Wind resistance and friction would make any loose clothing right out. Navigation would be interesting, you'd probably just end up following roads or doing ICBM-type flights. Go really high up, aim in a general direction and descend adjusting trajectory as you notice landmarks. Only problem is you'd need oxygen and really warm clothing to keep you alive to pull off that maneuver. Lastly, you know the FAA would be on your ass like white on rice.

I think you just made your own mistake. The ability "to really fly" would include all the sorts of things you described, in the same way as "to swim anywhere" would.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-28, 09:40 AM
That didn't take too long, did it? Aquaman is a fun character to make fun of, but only if you completely fail to think about his powers at all. Lets examine each of the powers in some actual detail and not in a dismissive, ignorant fashion.

Aquaman can breathe underwater. ANYWHERE UNDERWATER. You know the Laurentian Abyss or Mariana Trench? He can breathe there. The implications of this? 1) Resistance to cold. 2)Resistance to extreme pressures (including the extreme pressure of a bullet hitting him) 3) INSANE Strength. He can swim at 10000 ft/sec at the bottom of the ocean, (~7000mi/hr, which in reality would probably boil the water). Put him on land and he's stronger than just about any non-cosmic DC hero. 4) Vision/Hearing capable of navigating at the bottom of the ocean. He can see in total darkness, that's a neat trick.


Resistance to cold? Feh. This is pretty much ignored in comics. I imagine that fighting in snow in tights in real life would likely be problematic, but hey, that tends to get ignored in the DC world. Thus, as a power, this is pretty sketchy.

You can only get all those powers if you blatantly mix and mash continuities together too...Didn't he get his hand bitten off by piranhas or something? That seems slightly less "tough" than surviving bullets. Granted, strength and toughness in DC comics vary wildly in accordance with the demands of the plot, but there is a laundry list of stronger and tougher characters even there.

But yeah...the whole swimming anywhere thing is still pretty weak compared to the ability to fly anywhere...including in space, which a rather large amount of DC heros routinely do. Most of those also have no problem operating in great depths if needed.

oxybe
2009-10-28, 09:53 AM
phhs. batman can breath in space (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BatmanCanBreatheInSpace)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/BatSpace.gif

Keshay
2009-10-28, 10:46 AM
I think you just made your own mistake. The ability "to really fly" would include all the sorts of things you described, in the same way as "to swim anywhere" would.

The keen observer will note that the exact phrase was:


A power that's not so good on its own: Flight.

All appropriate and necessary context was provided in order to make the observations valid, whereas the argument I debunked was "Aquaman can breathe underwater" which carries along with it all of the relevant information as pertains to Aquaman's specific ability.


And for the record, Aquaman's hand was eaten by magic piranhas (A wizard did it).

The topic was powers that were not good inof themselves, not which power is better than others. If you want to pull out the argument that Swimming is worse than Flying anywhere, we might as well just agree that every superpower blows because its not Dr. Manhattan, or the Spectre or Living Tribuneral or whatever omnipotent godly being you want ot trot out.

The ability to breathe underwater and survive extreme ocean depths is a very useful (and marketable) ability, regardless of whatever abilities may otherwise exist.

grautry
2009-10-28, 10:49 AM
I think this is a good time to link this (http://www.cracked.com/article_17185_7-awesome-super-powers-ruined-by-science.html).

Tyndmyr
2009-10-28, 10:56 AM
All appropriate and necessary context was provided in order to make the observations valid, whereas the argument I debunked was "Aquaman can breathe underwater" which carries along with it all of the relevant information as pertains to Aquaman's specific ability.

Every superhero ever that can fly somehow manages to ignore all sorts of minor details like the FAA, bugs, birds, generally g-forces...

I think we can conclude that those are somehow included, as otherwise the ability, flight, would be non-functional. This is exactly like how the flash would need an array of superhuman traits to possibly use his ability to go fast without horrible things happening.

Otherwise you're comparing "trait with all prerequisites" to "use this trait and die horribly".

Oslecamo
2009-10-28, 11:13 AM
Reed Richards has the power of really, really ticking off a guy in college.

No, Reed Richard's true power is that he can stretch the laws of the universe! To us simple mortals it looks like he just stretches himself, but actually he can bend and stretch the laws of physics, magic, divinity and whatever else there is. So to the other marvel members it looks like he's a great scientist, but actualy he can just do whatever he feels like and makes up explanations during the way.


Seikon-No-Qwaser: In this manga there's a bunch of people wich can each control a certain element of the periodic table down to the atomic level.

The poor smucks wich got the later elements of the periodic table, wich are absurdly rare and unstable(some of them only existing for fractions of seconds before disintregating themselves into other more stable elements) are basicaly normal people, since they have no way of geting their hands on enough of their controled element to do anything. Mocked by their luckier counterparts wich can manipulate much more common stuff like iron and copper and titanium.

SparkMandriller
2009-10-28, 11:29 AM
The power to carry away dead bodies.


lol touhou characters

RandomLunatic
2009-10-28, 12:03 PM
Daredevil's has the ability to see.

THAT IS NOT A SUPERPOWER. I CAN DO THAT TOO.

Indon
2009-10-28, 01:08 PM
Daredevil's has the ability to see.

THAT IS NOT A SUPERPOWER. I CAN DO THAT TOO.

Hey, Blindsight means he doesn't need to make Spot checks!

averagejoe
2009-10-28, 02:26 PM
Daredevil's has the ability to see.

THAT IS NOT A SUPERPOWER. I CAN DO THAT TOO.

No. Daredevil's power is that he's MOSTLY not blind. :smallamused:


If the average Joe can read it without squinting, it's not Old English. It's probably not even Middle (which you can probably read if you squint and use some context clues).

For your information, I have turned the odd Middle English phrase in my time. :smalltongue:

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-28, 02:36 PM
Shouldn't Batman's superpower be: "SCREW THE RULES I HAVE MONEY"?

Also, apparently the original Green Lantern was LGBT.

Let's see how long it takes for someone to get the references.

Radar
2009-10-28, 02:47 PM
I found a nice video explenation, why telephaty is one of the worse curses ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKWrsZF9mK8

Axolotl
2009-10-28, 03:04 PM
The problem for me is that the writers can't even agree on how he talks. Sometimes he simply inverts the meaning of what he's saying: "Bizarro am Superman's best friend". Other times they try to put as many reversals in his sentences as possible: "Bizarro am not coming to hurt Lo-iz Lane because Bizarro am weakest of all, first daughter of Krypton, which still exists. Goodbye!"Surely that's because superman is often inconsistent, which means Bizarro must not be always not inconsistent.

Oslecamo
2009-10-28, 03:24 PM
No. Daredevil's power is that he's MOSTLY not blind. :smallamused:


No. Daredevil's power is that he can hear something faster than sound coming at him! How do you think he can dodge bullets, since when you hear the gunshot, the bullet already hit you?

Shardan
2009-10-28, 03:36 PM
I'm going to pass on this Justice leage event i read along time ago. At the start of the comic one of the other heroes suggested Aquaman stay behind from some mission because his powers wouldn't be useful.

After the mission, I don't remember the issue or the name of the villain. It was some 'super scientist' villain who hunted most of the league one by one using devices made to neutralize each one. Superman was captured with red-sun radiation. Martian manhunter with fire. the others something else. I don't recall who else was in it. Anyway, he ignored Aquaman. Well, Aquaman used fish to track him down and see where he was coming and going from and just walked in the front door. the mad scientist guy was starting his speech. 'I defeated Martian manhunter. I defeated Superman. I defeated all of them. What are you going to do Aquaman? Swim at me? Hahaha' Aquaman just looked at him. Laid him out with a right cross. One punch KO.

He walks over and lets the rest of the league loose and just walks away from them while they were trying to say thanks. didn't say a word the whole time he was saving the other heroes.

masterjoda99
2009-10-28, 03:40 PM
I think something a lot of people forget when dismissing Aquaman is that Cthulhu lives in the sea...

Tyndmyr
2009-10-28, 03:43 PM
Hahaha' Aquaman just looked at him. Laid him out with a right cross.

Looking and punching. I have those powers too. :smallamused:

NeoVid
2009-10-28, 03:44 PM
Worst power: Invisibility. Any Team Fortress player will tell you how much less useful this is than you'd think.


The problem for me is that the writers can't even agree on how he talks. Sometimes he simply inverts the meaning of what he's saying: "Bizarro am Superman's best friend". Other times they try to put as many reversals in his sentences as possible: "Bizarro am not coming to hurt Lo-iz Lane because Bizarro am weakest of all, first daughter of Krypton, which still exists. Goodbye!"

Because if there's one thing Bizarro should be, it's reliable.

Thanks to Bizarro, we occasionally get lines like the one that came up when he was working with Batzarro on the World's Worstest team: "Here we aren't to fail the day!"

Paulus
2009-10-28, 03:47 PM
Looking and punching. I have those powers too. :smallamused:

Yeah, but do you have the body of a beyond Olympic level swimmer?
Yeah I like aquaman, water breathing is a fun power. What tickles me is how super effective he would actually be if ANY of the adventures were underwater.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-28, 03:49 PM
Yeah, but do you have the body of a beyond Olympic level swimmer?
Yeah I like aquaman, water breathing is a fun power. What tickles me is how super effective he would actually be if ANY of the adventures were underwater.

Sure, why not?

In seriousness, being ridiculously fit isn't really superpowered. *all* superheros are somehow fit, even if they're never shown working out.

Paulus
2009-10-28, 03:51 PM
Sure, why not?

In seriousness, being ridiculously fit isn't really superpowered. *all* superheros are somehow fit, even if they're never shown working out.

*shrug* who is to say Aquaman isn't fitter? he swims all his life, in places of harsh depths and pressure. That takes a lot of endurance, probably far more then batman has. But as others have said, it's all about being side by side with batman and superman, so... none the less. He's still a super hero and I like his powers, Water breathing is one of the classics! I'd love to breath under water. If I used to fight crime or not.

oxybe
2009-10-28, 03:52 PM
Shouldn't Batman's superpower be: "SCREW THE RULES I HAVE MONEY"?

only if hulk's power is "BROOKLYN RAGE!"

lord_khaine
2009-10-28, 03:53 PM
No. Daredevil's power is that he can hear something faster than sound coming at him! How do you think he can dodge bullets, since when you hear the gunshot, the bullet already hit you?


well, actualy the reason he can dodge bullets is that his radar sense tell him where the guns are aiming, so he moves out of the way before you have a chance to pull the trigger.

Oslecamo
2009-10-28, 04:02 PM
I think something a lot of people forget when dismissing Aquaman is that Cthulhu lives in the sea...

There was actualy an epic pitcure once posted at this very forums of Aquaman riding Cthulhu!:smallcool:

OracleofWuffing
2009-10-28, 04:05 PM
In seriousness, being ridiculously fit isn't really superpowered. *all* superheros are somehow fit, even if they're never shown working out.
All superheroes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvWOe5e3Pd0)? Certainly there would be a few exceptions (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF4XGYTyNjw).

Sstoopidtallkid
2009-10-28, 04:07 PM
*shrug* who is to say Aquaman isn't fitter? he swims all his life, in places of harsh depths and pressure. That takes a lot of endurance, probably far more then batman has. But as others have said, it's all about being side by side with batman and superman, so... none the less. He's still a super hero and I like his powers, Water breathing is one of the classics! I'd love to breath under water. If I used to fight crime or not.The issue is that the adventures never take place underwater. If he was a villain, he could attack the cities from the ocean, break dams, and basically never be out of the water. As is, though, he can't do anything about a mundane bank robbery that SWAT wouldn't be better at.

Radar
2009-10-28, 04:08 PM
No. Daredevil's power is that he can hear something faster than sound coming at him! How do you think he can dodge bullets, since when you hear the gunshot, the bullet already hit you?
Firearms rarelly are supersonic, so you would potentially hear a gunshot, before the bullet hits (not counting delays from transmitting the signal to the brain and processing it - it might be a problem). Still it doesn't give enough time to dodge. To pull that off, one would have to be either super fast (including perception) or have some precognition powers (to know about the shot, before the shooter himself). So either Daredevil survived on pure luck (his name would indicate just that), or he is more powerfull, then he thinks.

Paulus
2009-10-28, 04:13 PM
The issue is that the adventures never take place underwater. If he was a villain, he could attack the cities from the ocean, break dams, and basically never be out of the water. As is, though, he can't do anything about a mundane bank robbery that SWAT wouldn't be better at.

I know right? But its like because of this very thing it makes him less of a hero. :smallfrown: Don't worry aquaman, we know how cool you really are! DON'T LET THE DREAM DIE!!!! >:3

Godskook
2009-10-28, 04:24 PM
Arm fall-off boy. :smallbiggrin:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6f/Armfalloffboy.jpg

I'm pretty sure, with the exception of Armfalloffboy, this isn't 'superpowers that aren't all that', but rather 'let's talk trash about superpowers that are actually pretty decent*'.

(Armfalloffboy is Hilarious, Myou. You get a cookie for winning the thread)

*Yes, even Daredevil, whose superpower is not only better than sight, but also a compensation for his being blind, and while it is fairly Mystic Theurge-ish, he still deserves all the props that MT(read: If you're going to go cleric 3/wiz 3, MT is great!, and when you're going to go blind, becoming Daredevil and getting sight+ is also great).

Oslecamo
2009-10-28, 04:31 PM
So either Daredevil survived on pure luck (his name would indicate just that), or he is more powerfull, then he thinks.

Not to mention when he fights dudes with electrecity based weapons (wich makes sound speed look like a snail) and dudes with laser weapons, wich, well, are as fast as light.:smalltongue:

Daredevil sense?

Starscream
2009-10-28, 04:47 PM
Resistance to cold? Feh. This is pretty much ignored in comics. I imagine that fighting in snow in tights in real life would likely be problematic, but hey, that tends to get ignored in the DC world. Thus, as a power, this is pretty sketchy.

I recently saw a story where Wonder Woman was in Antarctica. She wore her normal uniform. I guess we can add "frostbite immunity" to the list of powers given to her by the gods.

Thanks to Bizarro, we occasionally get lines like the one that came up when he was working with Batzarro on the World's Worstest team: "Here we aren't to fail the day!"

I want that on a t-shirt.

Sstoopidtallkid
2009-10-28, 04:51 PM
I recently saw a story where Wonder Woman was in Antarctica. She wore her normal uniform. I guess we can add "frostbite immunity" to the list of powers given to her by the gods.Not to mention "ability to be a feminist icon in a one-piece".
Harley Quinn: Ability to be around the Joker for years without hm killing her.

Gnaeus
2009-10-28, 04:54 PM
Not to mention when he fights dudes with electrecity based weapons (wich makes sound speed look like a snail) and dudes with laser weapons, wich, well, are as fast as light.:smalltongue:

Daredevil sense?

Daredevil can land a spaceship in a crowded park by feeling the electronics of the radar and hearing the heartbeats of the witnesses, through the walls and over the noise of the spaceship. Hearing where people are pointing their weapons is no biggie.

The Random NPC
2009-10-28, 05:02 PM
Standard bullets are supersonic. You would need special bullets (either with less powder than normal or heavier then normal) to avoid breaking the sound barrier.

Oslecamo
2009-10-28, 05:05 PM
Daredevil can land a spaceship in a crowded park by feeling the electronics of the radar and hearing the heartbeats of the witnesses, through the walls and over the noise of the spaceship. Hearing where people are pointing their weapons is no biggie.

It's not hearing where the gun is pointed that it's the problem, it's how the hell he can dodge the bullets/laser beams. While in the middle of a jump. Normal human bodies just don't have the necessary reflexes, even with heavy training.

Zeful
2009-10-28, 05:15 PM
Standard bullets are supersonic. You would need special bullets (either with less powder than normal or heavier then normal) to avoid breaking the sound barrier.

What gun? The .45 round coming out of the .45 Desert Eagle moves at a different speed the the .45 round coming out of a .45 Thomson Centerfire, as the first uses the power of the explosion to clear the casing and reload the gun while the second is a sealed breach weapon that prevents gas from escaping from anywhere other than the barrel.

Starbuck_II
2009-10-28, 05:53 PM
I think something a lot of people forget when dismissing Aquaman is that Cthulhu lives in the sea...

Wait, Aquaman is our only salvation for when he awakes?

Myrmex
2009-10-28, 05:54 PM
What gun? The .45 round coming out of the .45 Desert Eagle moves at a different speed the the .45 round coming out of a .45 Thomson Centerfire, as the first uses the power of the explosion to clear the casing and reload the gun while the second is a sealed breach weapon that prevents gas from escaping from anywhere other than the barrel.

And, in either case, the bullet still reaches your squishy bits before the sound gets there.

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-28, 06:02 PM
Wait, Aquaman is our only salvation for when he awakes?

IA! WE'RE DOOMED!

Hyfigh
2009-10-28, 06:06 PM
What gun? The .45 round coming out of the .45 Desert Eagle moves at a different speed the the .45 round coming out of a .45 Thomson Centerfire, as the first uses the power of the explosion to clear the casing and reload the gun while the second is a sealed breach weapon that prevents gas from escaping from anywhere other than the barrel.

There are no "standard rounds" for "standard firearms". There are literally hundreds of cartidge sizes for the many, many different caliber weapons available.

Basing eveything on standard factory loads and not custom loads, a standard .22 long rifle round is supersonic, but you can buy a sub-sonic version. 9mm Parabellum (Luger) fire at over 1200ft/sec, which is super sonic. .45ACP is only around 900ft/sec, not supersonic. .45/70, though, fires at over 1800ft/sec. Then you get into high powered rifles which will fire with a muzzle velocity of well over 3400ft/sec, again, depending on caliber and the cartridge/load size.

Daredevil "seeing" where the gun is aimed is WAY more plausible than him "hearing" the round coming.

Starbuck_II
2009-10-28, 06:10 PM
IA! WE'RE DOOMED!

Don't worry, unless Aquaman turns evil from people putting him down all the time I'm sure he won't end the world.

ShadowsGrnEyes
2009-10-28, 06:37 PM
I think something a lot of people forget when dismissing Aquaman is that Cthulhu lives in the sea...
Awesome. . . .

also, super power thats not actually that awesome when you think about it . . . The Thing=Look I'm super strong and super tough, and i will never ever ever get laid again. . .

Starbuck_II
2009-10-28, 06:47 PM
I thought that blind black lady was dating him...

chiasaur11
2009-10-28, 06:48 PM
Awesome. . . .

also, super power thats not actually that awesome when you think about it . . . The Thing=Look I'm super strong and super tough, and i will never ever ever get laid again. . .

You'd be surprised.

And terrified.

Set
2009-10-28, 07:43 PM
*shrug* who is to say Aquaman isn't fitter? he swims all his life, in places of harsh depths and pressure.

Fit isn't really relevant. Batman is fit, Aquaman is super-powered. He's got super-strength and is extremely tough. Not bullet-proof or anything, but he can punch through a brick wall, or shatter stone in his hands. Plus he's developed his aquatic telepathy to short out people's brains.

He's no Sub-Mariner, but he's no wimp either. He just keeps getting put on teams with Superman and the Green Lantern, without getting the 'Batgod' treatment to make him appear remotely effective.


Useless power would be any sort of Shrinking power that didn't come with mass control (like the Atom), flying ants to ride around on (like Ant-Man) or a Legion flight ring (like Shrinking Violet). By itself, Shrinking is a horrible 'power.'

"I'll shrink down to subatomic size and work my way into the machine to dismantle it from the inside!" Six days later. "I'm almost to the control panel! Curse my immeasurably tiny stride! That breeze from the ventilation fan knocked me back four inches! It will take me hours to make up that lost time!"

"What happened to Miniscule Man?" "Uh, I sneezed, and he got thrown into a wall so hard that his tiny neck snapped." "Awesome. We can replace him with someone whose power isn't to become even more useless than he was as a normal dude."

Tequila Sunrise
2009-10-28, 07:57 PM
Wolverine's power is cool from an everyday life PoV: he never has to see a doctor or dentist, doesn't care how high insurance premiums get, and he can likely eat twinkies all the live-long day without gaining a pound of non-muscle body weight. (Or maybe that last one is just the Jackman Effect.)

But from an adventuring, confrontational PoV, his power mostly sucks. So he can't die, who cares? Without his claws he'd just be like a 3e monk: near-impossible to kill, so the bad guys just ignore him and kill Dr. X or whoever. Or ya know, he can be indefinitely restrained in a hundred different ways, many of them mundane.

That's what the cheerleader from Heroes is: half the characters are scared pee-less of her super power, but when push comes to shove, she can't do anything that a normal person couldn't do.

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-28, 08:05 PM
Lois Lane seems to have "gets constantly bushwhacked by bad guys and needs rescuing pretty much every day" as a superpower.

Truthiness and awesomeosity are Stephen Colbert's superpowers. As if anyone didn't already know.

ShadowsGrnEyes
2009-10-28, 08:09 PM
Wolverine's power is cool from an everyday life PoV: he never has to see a doctor or dentist, doesn't care how high insurance premiums get, and he can likely eat twinkies all the live-long day without gaining a pound of non-muscle body weight. (Or maybe that last one is just the Jackman Effect.)

But from an adventuring, confrontational PoV, his power mostly sucks. So he can't die, who cares? Without his claws he'd just be like a 3e monk: near-impossible to kill, so the bad guys just ignore him and kill Dr. X or whoever. Or ya know, he can be indefinitely restrained in a hundred different ways, many of them mundane.

That's what the cheerleader from Heroes is: half the characters are scared pee-less of her super power, but when push comes to shove, she can't do anything that a normal person couldn't do.


Have you SEEN Hulk vs Wolverine? The comic starts with wolverine's upper body crawling 5 miles to get to his LEGS. . . his legs which he found with his amazing sense of smell. . . his level of Healing factor +super senses is totally awesome. . .

Tyndmyr
2009-10-28, 09:51 PM
What gun? The .45 round coming out of the .45 Desert Eagle moves at a different speed the the .45 round coming out of a .45 Thomson Centerfire, as the first uses the power of the explosion to clear the casing and reload the gun while the second is a sealed breach weapon that prevents gas from escaping from anywhere other than the barrel.

And both of those are definitely supersonic.

Heck, even a .22 requires special ammo to be subsonic. I can't think of a single reasonably common firearm that isn't supersonic.

The whole "he sees where the gun is pointing" is probably still unlikely, but hey...it's at least somewhat believable. Believable by comic book standards, at least.


As for the whole "Aquaman talks to sea creatures....and Cuthulu is in the sea" nonsense...why on earth would it ever be desirable to have a direct telepathic link to Cuthulu?

Tyndmyr
2009-10-28, 09:57 PM
But from an adventuring, confrontational PoV, his power mostly sucks. So he can't die, who cares? Without his claws he'd just be like a 3e monk: near-impossible to kill, so the bad guys just ignore him and kill Dr. X or whoever. Or ya know, he can be indefinitely restrained in a hundred different ways, many of them mundane.

Well, he's got so many immunities that he's frequently the only one that *can* go places or do certain things. For example, he's somehow immune to telepathy(usually, canon varies with this, as with most immunities). That's pretty rare, as most of the strongest front liners go down to telepathy.

Also, the claws give him a solid offensive weapon. The only real weakness is his limitation to melee. He's definitely not the monk of the comic book world.

If I had a complaint regarding Wolverine, it'd be the endless reprinting of his backstory and the ridiculous amount of fanboyism. Oh well. It is interesting to think about how autohealing would work in real life though...no new tattoos I presume. I believe that's even referenced with regards to Wolverine once, come to think of it.

Pyron
2009-10-28, 10:16 PM
Wait, Aquaman is our only salvation for when he awakes?

Isn't that the plot to the Justice League episode: The Terror Beyond.

crazedloon
2009-10-28, 10:35 PM
But from an adventuring, confrontational PoV, his power mostly sucks. So he can't die, who cares? Without his claws he'd just be like a 3e monk: near-impossible to kill, so the bad guys just ignore him and kill Dr. X or whoever. Or ya know, he can be indefinitely restrained in a hundred different ways, many of them mundane.

well really (since everyone has done it thus far) he is a lot stronger than just that. He has tactical training in pretty much every field of martial arts as well as weapons use (remember he has been through a lot of wars) he just prefers the good ol fashion ripping things apart. He has higher than average agility/endurance and strength as he keeps up with the cap in many a story arc and he is bio engineered to be the best of the best. He is immune to telepathy in most arcs and in some even immune to small scale radar and other detection devices (that tends to come up when iron man gets to big for his britches and needs a little venting). His skeleton makes him unbreakable and his claws can cut through any restraint they can touch (baring vibranium/adamantium) He has super senses which include hearing and smell which he can track almost anything with. His stealth is rivaled by few (batman being the only one who comes to mind of the top of my head) and than if that wasn't enough he has the uncanny ability to make friends with people in high places with even more world shattering powers (notice how he only pisses of cyclops a relatively useless power but gene gray/rogue/prof x and even people like magneto respect him)

So far from a monk and far from weak

Shhalahr Windrider
2009-10-28, 11:26 PM
I thought that blind black lady was dating him...
Yeah, but if they actually went all the way, she wouldn't be dating him any more—because she'd be dead! I mean really. It's simple physics.

taltamir
2009-10-28, 11:40 PM
phhs. batman can breath in space (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BatmanCanBreatheInSpace)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/BatSpace.gif

I will have you know that I got sucked into TV tropes again by this... and have been there for, I think 5 hours by now.

taltamir
2009-10-28, 11:50 PM
Wait, Aquaman is our only salvation for when he awakes?

can aquaman just TALK To anything in the sea or CONTROL them?

chiasaur11
2009-10-28, 11:59 PM
Yeah, but if they actually went all the way, she wouldn't be dating him any moreóbecause she'd be dead! I mean really. It's simple physics.

Well, in the comics she's not black. Redhead.

And the Sharon Ventura Ms. Marvel was turned into a "She-Thing" for a bit. Yes. That horrible image you can't get out of your head?

It happened.

Zaydos
2009-10-29, 12:42 AM
As for the whole "Aquaman talks to sea creatures....and Cuthulu is in the sea" nonsense...why on earth would it ever be desirable to have a direct telepathic link to Cuthulu?

I like this one. "I have a direct telepathic link to Cthulhu." Isn't very useful unless you want to go mad.

On that subject isn't the Joker's power that he is super crazy? I know he's technically a villain and all but that might be the most useless power ever... yet he makes it work against Batman of all people (and we all know how hard it is to fight a wizard).

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-29, 12:45 AM
The only reason Batman hasn't outright destroyed the Joker is because he refuses to use lethal force.

If he was willing to kill, the Joker would be toast.

OracleofWuffing
2009-10-29, 12:49 AM
On that subject isn't the Joker's power that he is super crazy?
Speaking of, what's The Riddler like outside of the Superfriends Cartoon? "Being super crazy" and "Super-giving-out hints to solve or prevent your own crimes" is kinda weak.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 12:52 AM
I like this one. "I have a direct telepathic link to Cthulhu." Isn't very useful unless you want to go mad.

On that subject isn't the Joker's power that he is super crazy? I know he's technically a villain and all but that might be the most useless power ever... yet he makes it work against Batman of all people (and we all know how hard it is to fight a wizard).

very good observation... and one of the things I was actually looking for (Rather then plain suck superpowers)...
My super power is that I am insane. it is not really a superpower.

sonofzeal
2009-10-29, 12:56 AM
RHINO! He has the proportional strength an agility of a rhino! Kneel in fear!
WALRUS! He has the proportional strength an agility of a walrus! Kneel in fear!


(apparently I got my wires crossed somewhere)

arguskos
2009-10-29, 01:00 AM
My super power is that I am insane. it is not really a superpower.
I can attest to this. :smallamused:

Sewblon
2009-10-29, 01:06 AM
Batman's superpower is somehow managing to have mastered 127 martial arts, tracking, escape, and pain resistance and gotten post-graduate, graduate, and master's level education in something like 5 different fields from the time he was 12 'til he was in his mid-20s, and then going out and adventuring on a daily basis while becoming a highly successful CEO that transformed a large company into the richest one in the entire world and yet no one manages to notice.

seriously if they'd just give him 'super memory' I might be able to start buying some of that.

Batman has the strongest mind the universe, and he can breath in space. On topic: The Comedian, he has the power of rape.

Sstoopidtallkid
2009-10-29, 01:06 AM
Speaking of, what's The Riddler like outside of the Superfriends Cartoon? "Being super crazy" and "Super-giving-out hints to solve or prevent your own crimes" is kinda weak.It's not about the money, it's about proving he's smarter than everyone else. The only one who can reliably outsmart him and solve his riddles is Batman. IIRC, he left the life of crime and took a job as a PI, solving the unsolvable, so that he could be challenged without having to waste years in Arkham.

Sewblon
2009-10-29, 01:14 AM
I like this one. "I have a direct telepathic link to Cthulhu." Isn't very useful unless you want to go mad.

On that subject isn't the Joker's power that he is super crazy? I know he's technically a villain and all but that might be the most useless power ever... yet he makes it work against Batman of all people (and we all know how hard it is to fight a wizard). The Joker is actually super sane, which allows him to adjust his personality as needed, not much, but better than being super crazy. And he makes it work against Batman because of Schrodinger Fu.

Zaydos
2009-10-29, 01:22 AM
Super sane or super insane, either way the Joker would actually be rocking cool with a direct telepathic link to Cthulhu. Most people would just go whacko but the Joker? It's a scary thing to think about.

Sewblon
2009-10-29, 01:26 AM
Super sane or super insane, either way the Joker would actually be rocking cool with a direct telepathic link to Cthulhu. Most people would just go whacko but the Joker? It's a scary thing to think about. They would become BFFs, which Batman would eventually turn to his advantage.
Superman's power is that the writers can't keep track of his abilities & limitations, so they just let him do whatever he feels like.

I'm sorry, what I meant was whatever he super-feels like. No his power is having the strongest will in the universe, and being a master of disguise to the point that all he has to do to fool everyone he ever meets is wear glasses.




The Punisher's power is being a supervillain, and having the other heroes not notice.


Cable's power is somehow making it out of the early nineties intact.



Cyclops' power is that nobody likes him but he somehow gets the hottest chicks in the universe.


. The Punisher's power should technically allow him to do what ever he wants all the time. I wish for Cyclops's power every night. The way people talk about the nineties, that should make Cable a demigod at least.

sonofzeal
2009-10-29, 01:32 AM
No his power is having the strongest will in the universe, and being a master of disguise to the point that all he has to do to fool everyone he ever meets is wear glasses.
I believe it's "official" that he uses super-hypnotism as part of the glasses trick.

Thajocoth
2009-10-29, 01:40 AM
Speaking of, what's The Riddler like outside of the Superfriends Cartoon? "Being super crazy" and "Super-giving-out hints to solve or prevent your own crimes" is kinda weak.

Outside of the cartoon, he tries to sell some book or something on how to scam the government. He's got lots of commercials.

sonofzeal
2009-10-29, 02:02 AM
Riddler varies depending on the version. In some, he is The Man Who Could Not Lie, a disability he tries to manage through cryptic riddles instead of straight answers.

In spite of (or possibly because of) that curse, he's also exceedingly brilliant and possibly the only Batman villain who can stand face to face with the Dark Knight in the intellectual arena. Batman wins of course, since this is his story, but you shouldn't take Edward Nigma lightly just because his gimmick sucks. His ability to pull off "perfect crimes" time and time again, that can't be solved except through exploiting his peculiar handicap, is proof enough of that.

Really, every story where Batman beats Riddler by solving his riddles is like someone racing a guy in crutches, and then pushing him over rather than just running. The fact that the "world's greatest detective" has to stoop to that level time and time again is proof of Riddler's genius.

herrhauptmann
2009-10-29, 02:03 AM
[QUOTE=Tyndmyr;7211437 Oh well. It is interesting to think about how autohealing would work in real life though...no new tattoos I presume. I believe that's even referenced with regards to Wolverine once, come to think of it.[/QUOTE]

The teen titans made an issue about this with Impulse/Kid Flash a few years back. Kid gets kneecapped by Slade Wilson, and his quick healing immediately tries to heal the damage. Unfortunately, his kneecap is still rearranged, so he would have ended as a cripple.
Teen Titans solve it by taking him to the ER where a team of docs operates on him without anesthesia while they try to save his knee. His body would instantly process any sort of anesthetic, making it a waste of time to put him under. (He also had a tattoo for about 10 minutes earlier in the issue)

Starscream
2009-10-29, 02:13 AM
The way people talk about the nineties, that should make Cable a demigod.

I believe the term Deadpool was fond of using for him was "Jesus Patton":smallbiggrin:

Prak
2009-10-29, 02:13 AM
There was a guy in the Incredibles with that power, and that's also Ice Man's power in the original X-Men comics.

the super part is the natural control and the extent to which they can do it. Look at the first Xmen movie, Bobby throws up a good foot thick wall of ice to seal a hallway in very little time, with nothing other innate ability to freeze ambient water vapor. Even arctic temperatures don't do that. The kid has the ability to create damn near absolute zero with precision control.


There is a good argument for Batman to have hypercognition, though he may well not realize it, and cases have been made for him to have an "aura of dumb" that causes those around him to loose a good 30-40 points of IQ.


Green Lantern's power is bling.
Incredible willpower, and a device that creates energy and force fields at will out of nothing along with containing an encyclopedia on the universe and everything in it.


Zatanna's power is verbal dyslexia.
actual, functioning magic with a trigger of invocations.


Hawkman's power is flying (but not as well as any of the other heroes who can fly).

Reincarnation based immortality, thousands of years worth of wealth and material possessions and wings. Yeah, sure, wings are sub-par when compared to Superman or anyone else that flies through non-natural means, but it's pretty damned super when compared to Joe Schmoe. I don't have wings, do you? I'd rather like wings, thanks, and if someone started handing them out I'd say "thank you, may I perform some service in gratitude?" not "Pft. I'd rather fly through sheer will. Frak off."


Elongated Man's power is being Silly Putty, but neither ... as silly as Plastic Man.
and thank god. We don't even need one Plastic Man...


Martian Manhunter's power is being an attempt to make Superman more sci-fi, and also afraid of sparklers.
Freaky, powerful and have a more conceivable weakness.


Wonder Woman's power is somehow being a feminist icon even though her abilities are almost as good as her male counterpart's.
and having been created by a guy with some serious fetishes...


Batman's power is an obsessive attention to detail, excellent detective skills, and paranoia being Adrian Monk.
covered above.


Captain Marvel's power is being a rip off of Superman who is allowed to exist only because he is now owned by the same guys who own Superman.
and also a ten year olds fantasy. Which makes sense because there are 20-somethings that wish they had the ability to become Superman just by shouting a non-sense word.


Beast Boy's power is turning into any creature that is less powerful than a superhero.
still a powerful ability, especially when you can do so with free choice and great speed. There are superhero's whose entire shtick is a single animal trait, and superheroes whose shtick is being able to call upon animal traits, Beast Boy's got both of them beat.


John Constantine's power is being Sting.
Being a detective who deals with and, to some degree, understands the occult and supernatural, as I understand it, he's not really a super hero. He's heroic, but not ever really billed as super.


Aquaman's power is being able to watch Flipper and know that the dolphin was actually cursing like a sailor the whole time.
They've also given him super strength in recent years. Still not a great power set, but at least he's not useless on land.


Green Arrow's power is using a weapon that was phased out in favor of guns centuries ago.

And if real bows could fire all the improbable ammo the Green Arrow can, they never would have been.


Matter Eater Lad's power is an eating disorder.
It's not a disorder if you can digest the strange crap you eat.


Mr. Miracle's power is escaping, which is only useful if he lets himself get captured first.
seriously? I thought he was some kind of Superman pastische...


Deadpool's power is being Ambush Bug but with a healing factor and an internet following.
and entertaining. There's also the whole trained to kill thing.


Squirrel Girl's power is being Ambush Bug and Deadpool, but also appealing to furries.

Hey! she can talk to squirrels too...


The Punisher's power is being a supervillain, and having the other heroes not notice.

Pretty much, yeah.


Hawkeye's power is being a less popular version of Green Arrow, but he helped found the Avengers, so he keeps appearing even though he can never hang on to a title of his own.

he's less popular because, as I understand it, he's also an arrogant jerk...


Iron Man's power is a robot suit that is nowhere near as powerful as the many actual robots hanging around (Vision, Sentinels, etc).

Vision's power is being a sentient robot.


Thor's power is speaking Olde Early Modern English despite being Norse.

...I know you're being facetious, but... seriously? Thor is pretty much the Marvel version of Superman, given a hammer no one can lift...(except superman, of course... because he goes to 11.)


Cable's power is somehow making it out of the early nineties intact.
a messiah complex and having the psychokinetic wherewithall to force people to be nice to one another...


Blade's power is being probably not nearly as good at killing vampires as most of the people on this list would be (if they bothered, which they don't so apparently vampires aren't a big deal).

Again, I refer you to Hawkman, if someone where walking around, handing out "vampirism minus the daylight ashiness" I'd be on my knees offering a quick service in gratitude.


Cyclops' power is that nobody likes him but he somehow gets the hottest chicks in the universe.

Sounds about right.


Ghost Rider's power is being, like, this wicked sweet tattoo I'm totally going to get, guys. It's going to have like a motorcycle, but instead of a helmet the guy riding it just has a skull, and it's totally going to be on fire, dude!
See Hawkman, Blade, replace wings/vampirism with "flaming demon of vengeance" powers. Oh, and staring someone in the eyes and making them feel so bad they die from it.


Ant-Man's power is that no matter what he does, nobody will ever forget that he hit his wife once.

And ate her when he became a zombie.


Storm's power is putting her own 30 years of character development on hold and sublimating her entire personality so that she could marry a guy no one likes.

I don't follow marvel much outside of Deadpool... tell me she didn't marry Cyclops...


Doesn't earth have like 5 greenlanterns, 6 if you count Guy Gardner? And each, despite getting his power from the same source, seems to have different weaknesses (the color yellow for one, a specific variety of wood for another).
Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Hal Jordan, John Stewert (not that one), and five if you count Abin Sur who died so that Hal Jordon would be a Green Lantern. I think I once saw the weakness thing as being explained by the rings being influenced by things around them, I'm not sure, though I'm fairly sure they either don't have a weakness now, or they are weak to "Yellow energy" which is a specific power source, and not just anything yellow.


Except that they recently showed up as Black Lanterns too, and I'm not sure if becoming an evil zombie requires your soul or not, so the ghost thing might no longer be valid.
It doesn't. Deadman's body is a Black Lantern, Deadman was very distraught about this.

Sort of. The Golden Age Green Lantern's source of power is magic, and it doesn't work on wood. The Silver Age Green Lantern's power came from alien technology, and it didn't work on yellow. Then came the third one, who also used alien tech, but his did work on yellow. Now the Silver Age one is back, and his works on yellow too. Because he is fearless. Please don't ask me to explain further, it makes my head hurt.
Your head hurts very easily then.

The power rings represent "emotions" or "qualities," each colour is a different one:
Green=Willpower
Yellow=Fear
Red=Hate
Blue=Hope
Indigo=Compassion
Violet=Love
Orange=Greed
Black=Death (yes, I know death isn't an emotion, and only technically a quality, but given the characterization of the guy with the ring, maybe it should represent "necrophilia")

It started with the Green Lanterns, who are space police, bringing justice to all frontiers. One Green Lantern, Sinestro, went all Dirty Harry and didn't like the kiddie gloves, so he commissioned some alien arms-dealers to create the Yellow Power Battery, which holds Yellow Energy, which is a form of cosmic energy created by and representative of Fear (yes, that's "Fear" with a capital "F," kinda like Science! with capital "S" and exclamation point to denote some kind of atavistic concept.)

Alan Scott was the original human Green Lantern in the Golden Age comics, and his origin got retconned once DC decided to go with the Space Police thing. His ring had amnesia or something and was weak to Wood because it was the industrial revolution.



...okay, it's 12:18 am and I have to get up at 4:30am for class... I'm not going through and responding to three more pages of this crap right now....

taltamir
2009-10-29, 02:24 AM
I can attest to this. :smallamused:

you are only jealous that the voices only speak to me.


Outside of the cartoon, he tries to sell some book or something on how to scam the government. He's got lots of commercials.

It is multiple books... 40$ each, names like "how to get free money from the government". He admits that in his latter books he did not even bother doing a little work, and simply reprinted government published lists (in earlier ones he actually spend a few hours actually looking at the stuff).

@punisher: Does he actually have any powers?

Starscream
2009-10-29, 03:31 AM
I don't follow marvel much outside of Deadpool... tell me she didn't marry Cyclops...

No, Black Panther. He's kind of a jerk.

The country he is king of has a cure for cancer, for instance. He won't share, because he believes the other nations don't respect them. One might think that handing out the biggest medical advancement of the century might be a good way to get respect.

Storm, previously a total humanitarian, is apparently okay with this. Even the writers have admitted that they are a lousy couple.

Prak
2009-10-29, 08:05 AM
It's not about the money, it's about proving he's smarter than everyone else. The only one who can reliably outsmart him and solve his riddles is Batman. IIRC, he left the life of crime and took a job as a PI, solving the unsolvable, so that he could be challenged without having to waste years in Arkham.

yeah, he has. Which is kind of weird, really....

Terazul
2009-10-29, 10:02 AM
yeah, he has. Which is kind of weird, really....

@Riddler: Well the amnesia probably helps with the whole "not being a criminal" dealy.

@Punisher: No "superhuman" abilities, no. Just reeaally good with guns, tactics and explosives. Also in good physical condition.

And Aquaman these days sucks a little less, when his hand got replaced. Now he can dehydrate people and shoot water blasts. I think his real problem is that for the longest time, his sidekick was(is) more powerful than he was. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aqualad#Powers_and_abilities)

RandomLunatic
2009-10-29, 12:11 PM
@punisher: Does he actually have any powers?

Firepower.:smallbiggrin:

Random832
2009-10-29, 12:23 PM
The country he is king of has a cure for cancer, for instance. He won't share, because he believes the other nations don't respect them. One might think that handing out the biggest medical advancement of the century might be a good way to get respect.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReedRichardsIsUseless

Basically, they can't have a world without cancer, because then it'll be too different from ours (and they close off the ability to have a plotline involving cancer later on).

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 12:34 PM
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReedRichardsIsUseless

Basically, they can't have a world without cancer, because then it'll be too different from ours (and they close off the ability to have a plotline involving cancer later on).

This is the sort of thing you should really think through before you have a hero invent a cure for cancer.

Starscream
2009-10-29, 01:27 PM
This is the sort of thing you should really think through before you have a hero invent a cure for cancer.

Exactly. And it wasn't even used for a plot. They just mentioned offhand that Wakanda has one, so they could illustrate what a complete tool T'Challa is for keeping it to himself.

If they'd invented a cure for a fictional disease it would have saved a lot of trouble, but they specifically wanted to remind people that he is a jerk.

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 01:51 PM
Exactly. And it wasn't even used for a plot. They just mentioned offhand that Wakanda has one, so they could illustrate what a complete tool T'Challa is for keeping it to himself.

If they'd invented a cure for a fictional disease it would have saved a lot of trouble, but they specifically wanted to remind people that he is a jerk.
TvTropes has a neat little subcategory of tropes vaguely related to things like this besides the ol' saw of Reed Richard's Uselessness (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReedRichardsIsUseless)- Sour Grapes Tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SourGrapesTropes). To put it as simply as possibly, the mentality for most of them is something like "immortality must suck, because we don't have it. Therefore, any attempt to implement it in fiction will fail and/or be morally unjustifiable." Similar to this, in comics, Superman/Reed Richards/WhoeverTheHell can't cure cancer because it's "meant to be that way."

Roderick_BR
2009-10-29, 03:13 PM
Sort of. The Golden Age Green Lantern's source of power is magic, and it doesn't work on wood. The Silver Age Green Lantern's power came from alien technology, and it didn't work on yellow. Then came the third one, who also used alien tech, but his did work on yellow. Now the Silver Age one is back, and his works on yellow too. Because he is fearless. Please don't ask me to explain further, it makes my head hurt.

I can sorta explain that. Golden Age's uses a magic ring, yes. The others (alien tech) were thought out later, with new stuff.
About the yellow weakness: Was revealed that it was actually a psychological limitation. Yellow represents fear, that goes directly against his green (courage/order) representation. Also, the incorporation of the fear power was once trapped into the Central Green Lantern, weakening it further. Now that the lanterns know the truth, and the creature have a stronger cage (and probably the fact that the yellow lanters are tapping it's powers), the green corps can conciously face and overcome their fears, so yellow only affect them if they don't concentrate enough. Or as they call: Newbiew Weakness.

Yes, it's a lot of BS to let them have war with yellow lanterns.

Random832
2009-10-29, 03:18 PM
Doesn't really fit with a cure for cancer though - we've cured lots of diseases - even completely eliminated smallpox from the face of the planet [except in a few labs that they can't decide whether to get rid of], so any 'lesson' that curing a disease is 'something humans were not meant to mess with' is going to ring false.

Starbuck_II
2009-10-29, 03:21 PM
can aquaman just TALK To anything in the sea or CONTROL them?

Both...well when he remembers he is nigh omnipotent he has both.

Usually, he has the cheerleader effect. No seriously, when he tells you you will win: you do.
They hada Batman episode where this army was losing till Aquaman sold you will win: then they became like unto Simon in Gurran Laggan.

He seems to realize the spiral energy in people.

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 03:28 PM
Doesn't really fit with a cure for cancer though - we've cured lots of diseases - even completely eliminated smallpox from the face of the planet [except in a few labs that they can't decide whether to get rid of], so any 'lesson' that curing a disease is 'something humans were not meant to mess with' is going to ring false.

But we haven't cured cancer in the PRESENT, so obviously man was not meant to be a god that plays with himself or something like that (http://dresdencodak.com/2009/09/22/caveman-science-fiction/).
Who was it that said this (or something roughly like it) again, by the way?

Anything that's invented before you're fourteen is natural and part of the way the world works. Anything that's invented when you're between fifteen and thirty is new and exciting and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you're forty-two is bizarre and against the natural order of things.

Oslecamo
2009-10-29, 03:35 PM
Doesn't really fit with a cure for cancer though - we've cured lots of diseases - even completely eliminated smallpox from the face of the planet [except in a few labs that they can't decide whether to get rid of], so any 'lesson' that curing a disease is 'something humans were not meant to mess with' is going to ring false.

Tell that to the pharmaceutic companies wich make big bucks out of exotic drugs. Actualy, from what we can see nowadays, the last thing they want to see is a world where medicine is cheap and easy.

There was actualy a Dr.Strage History where he manages to find the ultimate cure, but he only has a vial of it. Theoreticaly he could reverse-engineer and mass produce it to end all diseases in the world. Then some mega-pharmaceutic company somehow discovers it and sends their mooks after him and manage to send the cure literaly down the sewer. There's a litle drop left, but Strange chooses to use it on his loyal servant wich had grown a brain cancer.

Jarawara
2009-10-29, 03:42 PM
Outside of the cartoon, he (The Riddler) tries to sell some book or something on how to scam the government. He's got lots of commercials.

:smallbiggrin:

You, sir, deserve an internet. I am sorry to say I do not possess one or I would surely give it to you. But if you happen to come across one, go ahead and claim it as your own.

Prak
2009-10-29, 04:21 PM
Both...well when he remembers he is nigh omnipotent he has both.
hey, in silver age cartoons, he has the ability to talk sea animals into doing things they are physically incapable of, like telling hammerhead sharks into deflecting lasers by hitting them like, well, hammers, or convincing octopi to absorb (some liquid other than water, I can't remember what it was...)

RE: Riddler, it's just weird to see him having turned to being a PI. No one trusts him in Gotham, now, except it's dumb public, of course. He's taking crap from Nightwing, and getting threatened by Penguin and Freeze.
And yet he gets cases. Whether because of the spectacle and novelty in the eyes of the public, or because the heroes know he's good.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 06:30 PM
But we haven't cured cancer in the PRESENT, so obviously man was not meant to be a god that plays with himself or something like that (http://dresdencodak.com/2009/09/22/caveman-science-fiction/).
Who was it that said this (or something roughly like it) again, by the way?

awesome, and quite accurate.
ME AM PLAY GOD!
I believe the term is bad Aesop.


Tell that to the pharmaceutic companies wich make big bucks out of exotic drugs. Actualy, from what we can see nowadays, the last thing they want to see is a world where medicine is cheap and easy.

There was actualy a Dr.Strage History where he manages to find the ultimate cure, but he only has a vial of it. Theoreticaly he could reverse-engineer and mass produce it to end all diseases in the world. Then some mega-pharmaceutic company somehow discovers it and sends their mooks after him and manage to send the cure literaly down the sewer. There's a litle drop left, but Strange chooses to use it on his loyal servant wich had grown a brain cancer.

that is just insultingly dumb (of the authors of the show towards the general public)

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 06:40 PM
This is a loose fit but I'm going to have to say Jedi powers. In the original trilogy they're never any good for anything except fighting Sith, who in turn can't use their powers for anything except fighting Jedi. The times that Luke, Obiwan or Vader do accomplish something, it's in a way that doesn't require the force. Heck, R2D2's droid powers make him seem more useful than anybody. Even in regard to blowing up the death star, Luke said he used to peg womp rats that were smaller than that exhaust port. i.e., before he learned of the Force. The one and only time I can think of the Force making a difference that could not have been accomplished in other ways is during the rescue of Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt. After that it quickly becomes a liability as Luke is forced to leave the party to avoid giving them away.

As for curing cancer, Heroes managed to pull it off in about 5 minutes of screen time the moment Noah found out about it. When it's plot relevant, curing cancer isn't a big deal.

Prak
2009-10-29, 06:41 PM
that is just insultingly dumb
which part?

The only part I find insultingly stupid is the pharmaceutical companies sending mooks to destroy the cure.

The problem is that it's accurate. Though likely it'd be plan b. Plan A would be to take him to court and try to get the cure outlawed on the grounds that it would "thousands of people out of work, and destroy many companies."

Shardan
2009-10-29, 06:42 PM
Note on Riddler: He gave up crime because he finally won. He solved the puzzle of "Who Is Batman" Once he did that he saw no reason to keep playing. And he refuses to share the answer ever. :D If anyone else knew it wouldn't be a riddle

taltamir
2009-10-29, 06:46 PM
which part?

The only part I find insultingly stupid is the pharmaceutical companies sending mooks to destroy the cure.

The problem is that it's accurate. Though likely it'd be plan b. Plan A would be to take him to court and try to get the cure outlawed on the grounds that it would "thousands of people out of work, and destroy many companies."

the part where he uses the last drop to cure brain cancer for his friend instead of reverse engineering it to cure the countless people all over the world... AND his friend (since you don't die in a single day from brain cancer, he could have had enough to time get some cure for his friend... and even if not... well tough luck... I am surprised the friend went along with it)

Oslecamo
2009-10-29, 06:53 PM
the part where he uses the last drop to cure brain cancer for his friend instead of reverse engineering it to cure the countless people all over the world... AND his friend (since you don't die in a single day from brain cancer, he could have had enough to time get some cure for his friend... and even if not... well tough luck... I am surprised the friend went along with it)

Well, to be fair, the episode begins with Dr.Strange discovering that his servant had an already advanced brain cancer, and was keeping a secret from him, aparently because of some bizarre servant code of honor "Don't bother the master with my own health problems". Wich is quite stupid on it's own, (YOUR MASTER IS A FREAKING MAGICIAN WITH A DEGREE ON MEDICINE DEDICATED TO PROTECT MANKIND, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR HELP RIGHT AWAY?)

So basicaly, at the end of the series, when Dr.Strange is fighting the mooks to recover the magic medicine, his servant colapses into coma and is aparently on the brink of death, meaning Dr.Strange has no time to to properly reverse-engineer it. Of course, Dr.Strange doesn't have any stasis spell or something like that.

And let's not mention the bazilion super-scientists Dr.Strange could've asked for help right away now that I think about it.

EDIT:Oh, wait, he does ask for help from a scientist. He gets fragged by the company mooks.

So I guess he didn't ask for help in fear of more of his friends geting killed. Don't mess with the big companies.

EDIT EDIT: Also Norman Osborn developed the cure for cancer! Only to try to use it to kill Deadpool, as he needs his cancer to stay alive.

So yes, don't mess with Marvel medicine companies. Alien empires are nothing compared to them.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:00 PM
Well, to be fair, the episode begins with Dr.Strange discovering that his servant had an already advanced brain cancer, and was keeping a secret from him, aparently because of some bizarre servant code of honor "Don't bother the master with my own health problems". Wich is quite stupid on it's own, (YOUR MASTER IS A FREAKING MAGICIAN WITH A DEGREE ON MEDICINE DEDICATED TO PROTECT MANKIND, WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR HELP RIGHT AWAY?)

So basicaly, at the end of the series, when Dr.Strange is fighting the mooks to recover the magic medicine, his servant colapses into coma and is aparently on the brink of death, meaning Dr.Strange has no time to to properly reverse-engineer it. Of course, Dr.Strange doesn't have any stasis spell or something like that.

And let's not mention the bazilion super-scientists Dr.Strange could've asked for help right away now that I think about it.

EDIT:Oh, wait, he does ask for help from a scientist. He gets fragged by the company mooks.

So I guess he didn't ask for help in fear of more of his friends geting killed. Don't mess with the big companies.

EDIT EDIT: Also Norman Osborn developed the cure for cancer! Only to try to use it to kill Deadpool, as he needs his cancer to stay alive.

So yes, don't mess with Marvel medicine companies. Alien empires are nothing compared to them.

that is stupid and insulting to the viewer in so many ways... The show just gets stupider and stupider... and those companies are as bad as the ones from captain planet. (our plan is to spend billions of our unlimited wealth to destroy the environment... because we can... what is that profit thing you keep on talking about?)

Anyways... yes let him die. Save millions of others, easy decision. They couldn't even make it a decision between his family and countless others... And don't forget, SOME DAY your family WILL contract a deadly disease... save your wife now... or have a cure that can save your children, and grandchildren, and their children, and so forth... Still an easy decision.

Fax Celestis
2009-10-29, 07:01 PM
Action Man's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_Man_(TV_series)) super power is being able to do advanced physics. In his head. Really really fast. In a cave, made out of SCRAAAAAAAAP

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:04 PM
Action Man's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_Man_(TV_series)) super power is being able to do advanced physics. In his head. Really really fast. In a cave, made out of SCRAAAAAAAAP

super intelligence is a legitimate power. My first choice of a power actually.

Prak
2009-10-29, 07:04 PM
Note on Riddler: He gave up crime because he finally won. He solved the puzzle of "Who Is Batman" Once he did that he saw no reason to keep playing. And he refuses to share the answer ever. :D If anyone else knew it wouldn't be a riddle

huh, didn't know that. Though he's not the only person who knows. Catwoman and Talia know because, well, it's apparently too kinky to keep the mask on in bed. Either that or Selina Kyle and Talia have bedded him as Bruce and Batman and have the uncanny ability to recognize men by their junk.

And as of Gotham City Sirens, Harley and Ivy have an idea of who Batman is, though they have to narrow it down on their own, because Catwoman gave a "V for Vendetta" answer when they forced her to tell them.

Catwoman, Harley and Ivy scored big in some heist. Ivy and Harley pissed their money away and had Nigma in a plant pheromone induced stupor while they crashed his pad. Catwoman invited them to live with her, so the three move into an abandoned cat food factory or some other "on the nose thing." They surprise Catwoman by binding her to a chair and forcing her, via plant toxin truth serum, to tell them who is Batman. Because apparently everyone knows he tapped that. After a flashback and some struggle she finally relents and says:
"Bruce Wayne. (which they don't believe) Jim Gordon... Harvey Dent, before the accident, and Slam Bradley."
(Ivy releases her) "But how could they all be--"
"Don't you get it? There has been a Legion of Do-gooders who have put on the suit one time or another. Some only for a minute or two, for a PR stunt or charity event, while others have operated in the field as Batman for months. Batman isn't the name of one person, it's a title. Near as I can figure, there have been several dozen of them rigorously trained and educated in the role."
"Trained by whom?"
"People wealthy and influential and ticked off enough to circumvent the law and fund their own anti-crime strike force. They created the idea of Batman some years back and they have kept the legend alive with a string of willing recruits."
(Harley) "I call bull! Mr. J. always told me there's only one Joker and one Batman! That's the way it's always been and always will be!
(Catwoman) "Think about it, Harley--All the times we've fought him, all the psycho's who have shot and stabbed him, how could one man take that much punishment?"
(Harley) "Well, mayyybe, that is, if he were properly motivated, like from a deepseated trauma in his childhood..."

Fax Celestis
2009-10-29, 07:06 PM
super intelligence is a legitimate power. My first choice of a power actually.

Oh, sure, but that's not what Action Man has. All he can do is go "IF I DO X AND Y AND Z IN CONCERT, THEN OUTPUT Q WILL HAPPEN AND I'LL BE ABLE TO WIN".

I can do that too. "IF I POINT THIS GUN AT HIM AND PULL THE TRIGGER, HE'LL DIE!" Man. I must have super powers too.

Bonus lulz: Action Man's powers are "...a result of secret experiments by his former high school coach Simon Grey."

So, he gets his powers from MUTANT STEROIDZ.

Prak
2009-10-29, 07:08 PM
Action Man was actually one of my first thoughts when an acquantance was asking what a reworked D&D fighter should be able to do.

Talbot
2009-10-29, 07:09 PM
Warning: Comic book nerd approaching

Ok, let's talk about two people getting owned on this thread: Aquaman and Black Panther.

Black Panther first. They don't explicitly state it, but if you read both the old volume of Black Panther (wherein he contracted an apparently fatal inoperable brain tumor) and the recent one (wherein he's fine and his country has cured cancer), you can figure out WHY the writers had them cure it. The reason they give for him not sharing (the US would only find a way to weaponize it; citizens of other countries are welcome to come to Wakanda for treatment, however) is a bit more suspect.

On a more general note, Panther is one of those characters who's famous enough that most writers use him, but not enough that most writers know what he can actually do/who he actually is. Under Christopher Priest, who wrote by far the most Black Panther comics, he was like Batman's badass older brother. They took the ridiculous over-preparedness of the worst Batman comics and, improbably, made it work (most of the time). People whined about this at first (he never does stuff like that in the Avengers!), but if you look a little further back, to his first appearance, what's the first thing Black Panther ever did in a comic? Beat the entire Fantastic Four by himself by coming up with crazy sciency stuff to neutralize them. Nowaday's he's being written as pigheaded, foolish, and ineffecient, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, if you want to read some good Black Panther stories, the best place to go is Priest's Black Panther run (although the recent three issue Panther Secret Invasion story was pretty good).

Now, Aquaman. Somebody up there said AQ was the second-string Telepath behind MM, which is sort of true and sort of not (telepathy's inconsistent in DC. Canonically, for example, Tomorrow Woman is way stronger than either). AQ can't communicate with non-marine life, but he CAN screw with the part of their brains descended from marine life; he's even done this to a Martian before. His strength is enough to throw tanks around when he feels like it, and depending who's writing it this week, Atlantis is the big bad Magic/Tech daddy of the DCU. There was a story in JLA years ago called WWIII, wherein pretty much the whole world went to war. To stop the fighting, Aquaman got the Atlantean Navy together and took over the US' entire Eastern Seaboard. Took him about five minutes. Between his powers (brain whammy, super strength, 10x human reflexes), and his resources, he's pretty badass.

By way of example, back in the 90s the JLA (then lead by Wonder Woman) got mad at him over some stupid thing and went to talk to him. He didn't feel like talking to them and, working with Dolphin (who's powers are actually what most people think Aquaman's powers are), stalemated the entire team; including Wonder Woman. He's also taken down Deathstroke the Terminator one on one before, and Deathstroke's a guy who, on a good day, can take down whole teams of superheroes (usually the Teen Titans, but every now and then he takes on a JLA or an Outsiders).

Also, somebody said AQ is no Namor. Stengthwise, that's true, but the two did fight once. And Aquaman won. I believe his comment on the fight was something along the lines of "That's your problem, Namor. You're too noble to cheat." AQ's a bit of combat pragmatist on top of everything else.

So please, a little respect for the Kings of Wakanda and Atlantis. When written well (your mileage may vary on what that means, of course) they're two of the biggest badasses in either universe.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:14 PM
actually... since when do you have to SHARE a technology? never heard of espionage? Since the entire COUNTRY is cured of cancer, that means all the hospitals have the cancer cures in stock... now just steal a vial and reverse engineer it (assuming you are unable to find someone in the labs who make it who is willing to defect in the first place)

The very notion is ridiculous... this isn't a top secret military thing, it is a commercially available drug.


When written well (your mileage may vary on what that means, of course) they're two of the biggest badasses in either universe.

that is an important aspect... do you know spiderman has 49 official continuities and some more sub divisions among those? I honestly stopped caring about anything by marvel and DC because it is all so bastardized... You can make a new damn superhero without hitting the damn reboot button every few years; stop milking the damn franchises and make something new and original.

Oslecamo
2009-10-29, 07:23 PM
that is stupid and insulting to the viewer in so many ways... The show just gets stupider and stupider... and those companies are as bad as the ones from captain planet. (our plan is to spend billions of our unlimited wealth to destroy the environment... because we can... what is that profit thing you keep on talking about?)

Well, that's pretty much how every super-villain works.

I'm super inteligent and powerfull, but I'll waste my life trying to humiliate hero X, instead of actualy doing something with my life RRAAAWWWRR!



Also, Wakanda has, like, the biggest security on Earth. They never were conquered. Their technology makes even Reed Richards gasp in awe. You just don't enter there whitout being invited.

And if you defected them, then the black panther will personaly hunt you. And then kill you very slowly and painfully. No smart person would risk the black panther's wrath.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:25 PM
Well, that's pretty much how every super-villain works.

I'm super inteligent and powerfull, but I'll waste my life trying to humiliate hero X, instead of actualy doing something with my life RRAAAWWWRR!



Also, Wakanda has, like, the biggest security on Earth. They never were conquered. Their technology makes even Reed Richards gasp in awe. You just don't enter there whitout being invited.

And if you defected them, then the black panther will personaly hunt you. And then kill you very slowly and painfully. No smart person would risk the black panther's wrath.

So... not a single doctor, nurse, or lab technician is willing to sacrifice his life to save millions?
Not a single "super hero" is willing to defend such a defector and the people who work to reverse engineer the drug?

Foryn Gilnith
2009-10-29, 07:25 PM
that is stupid and insulting to the viewer in so many ways...

Bitter much? It's stupid, but I can't find any insult in it.


And if you defected them, then the black panther will personaly hunt you. And then kill you very slowly and painfully. No smart person would risk the black panther's wrath.

Your point? That wouldn't stop leaks.

Starscream
2009-10-29, 07:34 PM
The problem is that it's accurate. Though likely it'd be plan b. Plan A would be to take him to court and try to get the cure outlawed on the grounds that it would "thousands of people out of work, and destroy many companies."

Plan A would never work. The minute news of the cure got out (necessary if you are taking them to court), the creators would be buried under a pile of Nobel Prizes and hailed as heroes by the world. Anyone standing against the cure will be seen as Snidely Whiplash's eviler big brother.

Sure, you could hold up a chart showing how many people will be unemployed if the cure gets out, but then your opponents just need to point out how many will be dead if it doesn't. Every year. Forever.

What the companies would probably do is try to cast doubt on the effectiveness or safety of the cure. It wouldn't work in the long run (dying people are likely to try anything, and are unlikely to worry too much about side effects). But it might downplay the the significance of the discovery for a couple of years, which gives them time to repurpose their businesses, or just plain sell their stocks and accept defeat.

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-29, 07:42 PM
that is stupid and insulting to the viewer in so many ways... The show just gets stupider and stupider... and those companies are as bad as the ones from captain planet. (our plan is to spend billions of our unlimited wealth to destroy the environment... because we can... what is that profit thing you keep on talking about?)

Anyways... yes let him die. Save millions of others, easy decision. They couldn't even make it a decision between his family and countless others... And don't forget, SOME DAY your family WILL contract a deadly disease... save your wife now... or have a cure that can save your children, and grandchildren, and their children, and so forth... Still an easy decision.

It totally makes sense that the pharmaceutical companies would want to prevent the cure for cancer for getting out. They make billions of dollars (in the real world, mind) treating cancer; why would they want that money tree to wilt? They make trillions per year on overmedicating people for everything from heartburn to high blood pressure. And don't forget the meds prescribed for the side-effects of the overdosages.

Why is it, do you think, that there hasn't been a new cure for anything in literally decades? Doctors were chugging along, finding cures for rickets, scurvy, polio, and so on, and then someone figured out how profitable treatment is, versus finding permanent cures. The "war on cancer" has been going for nigh on to half a century, and despite all the money poured into it (and it's a lot), we're no closer to finding a "cure" now than we ever were. Why would a company want to risk its profit margin like that? Company heads in the US are legally obligated to increase profits in any way they can short of overtly breaking the law. And so they do.

Makes logical sense, anyway, as much as I want to believe in humanity's better nature.

So no, I think it was more Truth In Television than anything.

Talbot
2009-10-29, 07:43 PM
"And if you defected them, then the black panther will personaly hunt you. And then kill you very slowly and painfully. No smart person would risk the black panther's wrath."

Of course, that depends on who's writing Panther that week.

Priest's Panther knew you were coming, and put concentrated Herpes in the vial you stole before you even set foot in his country.

Hudlin's Panther from the early issues of his run chases you around for a few issues then guts you after talking to Storm for three pages.

Hudlin's recent T'Challah trips over his own feet and has his kid-sister go get you for him.

Johns' Panther catches you, but not quite as fast as Iron Man, Captain America, and all the other white heroes.

Stan Lee's Panther screws with you in needlessly elaborate but kind of awesome ways for about half the issue, then catches you and invites you to dinner.

Jack Kirby's Panther catches you just before you make it out of the country and beats the snot out of you.

Mark Millar's Panther ignores you for six issues even though he really should be able to stop the whole thing in ten minutes, then shows up for six pages to help some other hero stop you.

Oslecamo
2009-10-29, 07:43 PM
So... not a single doctor, nurse, or lab technician is willing to sacrifice his life to save millions?

Everybody in Wakanda is brainwashed from birth to believe that the Black Panther is god all mighty, and everybody outside of their country is a bunch of barbarians unworthy of their atentions.

Plus the people who have acess to the most important secrets are probably carefully handpicked to prevent any leakings.

It's Wakanda. They are that perfect. They were building super advanced tech when the rest of the world had just developed rifles.



Not a single "super hero" is willing to defend such a defector and the people who work to reverse engineer the drug?

You mean Red Richards, who just refuses to invent anything that is of any use to the wide public?

Or Tony Stark, the dude who started a civil war for his own ego?

Perhaps Norman Osborn, head of security, who has left pretty clear that he doesn't want a cure for cancer out there, as he developed his own to try to kill Deadpool, yet didn't release it on the market.

Captain America, when he's not leting himself geting arrested for not being super-patriot enough?

Nick Fury, who syphones obscene amounts of government money into his gadgets wich he almost never uses?

And of course the medicine companies of doom who almost managed to kill Dr.Strange himself.

No, I don't believe any hero on the marvel universe would stand for that poor smuck.

Perhaps spider man. But he would just be manipulated and would therefore slip his guard.

Remember, in the Marvel universe the heros have acess to all kind of imba technology, yet the public has the same things as us!

After decades contacting super empires like the S'hiar and whatnot, one would expect Earth to have acquired a lot of advanced technology, wich they didn't.

The only logical explanation is that the super heroes and governments are keeping all that technology and knowledge from the public.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:47 PM
It totally makes sense that the pharmaceutical companies would want to prevent the cure for cancer for getting out. They make billions of dollars (in the real world, mind) treating cancer; why would they want that money tree to wilt? They make trillions per year on overmedicating people for everything from heartburn to high blood pressure. And don't forget the meds prescribed for the side-effects of the overdosages.
They also have families that can contract cancer... and if they don't, then they themselves can one day get cancer. By destroying the cure you are getting a few more millions today (When you are already rich beyond beleif) at the exchange of your own life tomorrow, or the life of your children. That is not even taking the account the possibility that people who make cures for disease might just actually want to help people or feel guilty condemning countless to death out of greed.
Oh, and the certain death they themselves will face at the hands of an angry public should it ever come to light what they did (or at least at the hands of another inmate when they are eventually sentenced to life in prison).


Why is it, do you think, that there hasn't been a new cure for anything in literally decades? Doctors were chugging along, finding cures for rickets, scurvy, polio, and so on, and then someone figured out how profitable treatment is, versus finding permanent cures. The "war on cancer" has been going for nigh on to half a century, and despite all the money poured into it (and it's a lot), we're no closer to finding a "cure" now than we ever were. Why would a company want to risk its profit margin like that? Company heads in the US are legally obligated to increase profits in any way they can short of overtly breaking the law. And so they do.
Actually cancer is a CLASS of diseases and most of them are actually cureable today. There are constant breakthroughs and advancements made every year that grealy increase cure rates; and the whole slew of cures to other diseases. But its easier to wear a tinfoil hat than read scientific publications.
Your insinuation that IRL pharma companies are actively preventing cures for diseases is ludicrous.

Tequila Sunrise
2009-10-29, 07:54 PM
Have you SEEN Hulk vs Wolverine? The comic starts with wolverine's upper body crawling 5 miles to get to his LEGS. . . his legs which he found with his amazing sense of smell. . . his level of Healing factor +super senses is totally awesome. . .

Well, he's got so many immunities that he's frequently the only one that *can* go places or do certain things. For example, he's somehow immune to telepathy(usually, canon varies with this, as with most immunities). That's pretty rare, as most of the strongest front liners go down to telepathy.

Also, the claws give him a solid offensive weapon. The only real weakness is his limitation to melee. He's definitely not the monk of the comic book world.

If I had a complaint regarding Wolverine, it'd be the endless reprinting of his backstory and the ridiculous amount of fanboyism. Oh well. It is interesting to think about how autohealing would work in real life though...no new tattoos I presume. I believe that's even referenced with regards to Wolverine once, come to think of it.

well really (since everyone has done it thus far) he is a lot stronger than just that. He has tactical training in pretty much every field of martial arts as well as weapons use (remember he has been through a lot of wars) he just prefers the good ol fashion ripping things apart. He has higher than average agility/endurance and strength as he keeps up with the cap in many a story arc and he is bio engineered to be the best of the best. He is immune to telepathy in most arcs and in some even immune to small scale radar and other detection devices (that tends to come up when iron man gets to big for his britches and needs a little venting). His skeleton makes him unbreakable and his claws can cut through any restraint they can touch (baring vibranium/adamantium) He has super senses which include hearing and smell which he can track almost anything with. His stealth is rivaled by few (batman being the only one who comes to mind of the top of my head) and than if that wasn't enough he has the uncanny ability to make friends with people in high places with even more world shattering powers (notice how he only pisses of cyclops a relatively useless power but gene gray/rogue/prof x and even people like magneto respect him)

So far from a monk and far from weak
*Facepalm* Thatís what I get for not reading comic books as a kid, and then depending on movies in a trivia thread full of comic buffs. (Seriously, he can do all that? I love how popularity = power and more tricks in long-running media.)

I stand corrected about Wolverine, but since this thread is about powers rather than overpowered fanpets I stand by my claim about regeneration: itís just not all that when you think about it.

To be honest though, regen would be my first choice of superpowers for one reason only: immortality. Screw fighting crime, I want to live forever! And not have to pay these greedy insurance CEOs.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:56 PM
*snip*
Remember, in the Marvel universe the heros have acess to all kind of imba technology, yet the public has the same things as us!
*snip*

Well, I was trying to say "if this was real"...
but yea... it is the marvel universe...
Marvel, where super heroes beat their wives.
Marvel, where female heroes are there to be raped.
Marvel, where super heroes can be rapists or animal molesters.
Marvel, where super heroes are selfish bastards
Marvel, where super heroes are just not good people.

PS. ever notice how when places like cracked make a comprehensive list of F-ed up heroes they are always all from marvel?

Sewblon
2009-10-29, 07:57 PM
It totally makes sense that the pharmaceutical companies would want to prevent the cure for cancer for getting out. They make billions of dollars (in the real world, mind) treating cancer; why would they want that money tree to wilt? They make trillions per year on overmedicating people for everything from heartburn to high blood pressure. And don't forget the meds prescribed for the side-effects of the overdosages.

Why is it, do you think, that there hasn't been a new cure for anything in literally decades? Doctors were chugging along, finding cures for rickets, scurvy, polio, and so on, and then someone figured out how profitable treatment is, versus finding permanent cures. The "war on cancer" has been going for nigh on to half a century, and despite all the money poured into it (and it's a lot), we're no closer to finding a "cure" now than we ever were. Why would a company want to risk its profit margin like that? Company heads in the US are legally obligated to increase profits in any way they can short of overtly breaking the law. And so they do.

Makes logical sense, anyway, as much as I want to believe in humanity's better nature.

So no, I think it was more Truth In Television than anything.

So none of these CEOs would ever be tempted to become famous for getting the cure for cancer out, or just charging enough for it that they, the board of directors, and all the shareholders could retire immediately? A safe cure for all cancer would be a blank check and guarantee to get your name in the history books. And it is likely that some of those CEOs and share-holders have friends or family who have cancer, or have cancer themselves.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 07:58 PM
So none of these CEOs would ever be tempted to become famous for getting the cure for cancer out, or just charging enough for it that they, the board of directors, and all the shareholders could retire immediately? A safe cure for all cancer would be a blank check and guarantee to get your name in the history books.

and don't forget, not a single CEO or board member has ever had nor ever will have cancer themselves, or have family or friends inflicted with cancer.

Oslecamo
2009-10-29, 07:59 PM
They also have families that can contract cancer... and if they don't, then they themselves can one day get cancer. By destroying the cure you are getting a few more millions today (When you are already rich beyond beleif) at the exchange of your own life tomorrow, or the life of your children. That is not even taking the account the possibility that people who make cures for disease might just actually want to help people or feel guilty condemning countless to death out of greed.
The people who become heads of such a big companies don't have any kind of feeling of guilt, because they'll already have steped over a lot of people to get there.

And yes, they're willing to sacrifice everything for a small margin of profit, as far as the recent economy goes. They assumed that house prices would keep rising forever, no matter how idiotic it is.



Oh, and the certain death they themselves will face at the hands of an angry public should it ever come to light what they did (or at least at the hands of another inmate when they are eventually sentenced to life in prison).
Actualy, nowdays you can screw a lot of people with your company and the government will actualy pay you for it while protecting you from the public! It's a win-win scenario for them, and we get to watch them draining our money.



Actually cancer is a CLASS of diseases and most of them are actually cureable today. There are constant breakthroughs and advancements made every year that grealy increase cure rates; and the whole slew of cures to other diseases. But its easier to wear a tinfoil hat than read scientific publications.
Cureable? Most? Not really. Perhaps if you catch them soon enough, when they're still small. But a good deal of the times, they will already have grown, and then you can slow them down at best.

Anyway, you cannot deny that there are a lot of diseases wich could've been erradicated already(aka we have the medicine), but since only poor people have those diseases, they cannot afford the treatment, and they spread.

Finaly, AIDS spreads mainly because people are stupid and don't use protection when they need to. Wich tells a lot about the human nature. 3 seconds to take a precaution, or risk catching an uncurable diseases? A good deal of the people choose catching the disease.

Prak
2009-10-29, 08:01 PM
So none of these CEOs would ever be tempted to become famous for getting the cure for cancer out, or just charging enough for it that they, the board of directors, and all the shareholders could retire immediately? A safe cure for all cancer would be a blank check and guarantee to get your name in the history books. And it is likely that some of those CEOs and share-holders have friends or family who have cancer, or have cancer themselves.

It should say something when even a pragmatic amoral person like me would give the cure away if possible. After taking it himself... Cigarettes are horrible on the body...

taltamir
2009-10-29, 08:09 PM
It should say something when even a pragmatic amoral person like me would give the cure away if possible. After taking it himself... Cigarettes are horrible on the body...

Smoking only increases your chance of getting cancer. you can smoke and never get cancer, and you can get cancer without smoking.


The people who become heads of such a big companies don't have any kind of feeling of guilt, because they'll already have steped over a lot of people to get there.

And yes, they're willing to sacrifice everything for a small margin of profit, as far as the recent economy goes. They assumed that house prices would keep rising forever, no matter how idiotic it is.
Wow, you actually claim CEOs of big companies will sacrifice the LIVES of their family for a buck... I really don't know how to respond to something like that.


Anyway, you cannot deny that there are a lot of diseases wich could've been erradicated already(aka we have the medicine), but since only poor people have those diseases, they cannot afford the treatment, and they spread.
I AM gonna deny exactly that.


Finaly, AIDS spreads mainly because people are stupid and don't use protection when they need to. Wich tells a lot about the human nature. 3 seconds to take a precaution, or risk catching an uncurable diseases? A good deal of the people choose catching the disease.

Using a condom with your sole partner whom you love and trust (say, your wife or GF) when you are not worried about pregnancy and only aids. Means that you are explicitly stating that she MIGHT be cheating on you with someone (who might be cheating on her, and so forth).

It is very difficult to do so something like that without ruining your relationship, not to mention to even bring yourself to that level of cynicism and distrust where you say "just in case you are a lying cheating whore" to your loved one.

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 08:14 PM
Not to interrupt the discussion of hypothetical cures for diseases, but I'm going to say that almost every superpower isn't that great because it nigh-inevitably leads you to be a tiny hapless cog in a gargantuan badly-plotted soap opera where you stand a fair chance of getting seriously injured, killed, cloned, or having your entire personality spontaneously flip. And it will NEVER END.

Starscream
2009-10-29, 08:14 PM
PS. ever notice how when places like cracked make a comprehensive list of F-ed up heroes they are always all from marvel?

I view it as a natural progression. Back in The Day, Marvel heroes were the first to deal with real human problems, and not simply be universally loved paragons of virtue all the time.

Nowadays, that's old hat. All heroes have troubled personal lives, moral conflicts, and other issues. So Marvel took the next logical step and made them worse.

Now it sucks to be a hero in earth 616. I blame the lack of actual crime fighting.

Think about it, when is the last time you saw any of those guys foil a bank robbery, or stop a mugger. They never do that anymore. They just fight each other all the time now.

Spidey could solve all his problems in an instant, if he just rescued a cat from a tree.:smallwink:

taltamir
2009-10-29, 08:15 PM
Not to interrupt the discussion of hypothetical cures for diseases, but I'm going to say that almost every superpower isn't that great because it nigh-inevitably leads you to be a tiny hapless cog in a gargantuan badly-plotted soap opera where you stand a fair chance of getting seriously injured, killed, cloned, or having your entire personality spontaneously flip. And it will NEVER END.

on that note...
A power's usefulness is inversely proportional to the amount of people in the world that share your power.

Prak
2009-10-29, 08:16 PM
Smoking only increases your chance of getting cancer. you can smoke and never get cancer, and you can get cancer without smoking.
I know, it's just in the back of my mind.

...along with the fact that my grandfather smoked like a chimney and died of Heart Disease, not lung cancer. His lungs were "clean as a bell."

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 08:19 PM
I think the biggest thing drug companies would have against that cancer cure is that they don't have the patent on it thus they'll lose money instead of getting money.

Whether done legitimately pushly drugs or falsely neglecting scientifically supported preventative factors, you can't stay in business without pushing something that makes a buck. Stopping the competition OTOH, ya that helps too. Not something a single company would do, but lobbyists for an entire industry often lobby for regulations to push out competition.

Lamech
2009-10-29, 08:19 PM
It totally makes sense that the pharmaceutical companies would want to prevent the cure for cancer for getting out. They make billions of dollars (in the real world, mind) treating cancer; why would they want that money tree to wilt? They make trillions per year on overmedicating people for everything from heartburn to high blood pressure. And don't forget the meds prescribed for the side-effects of the overdosages.

Why is it, do you think, that there hasn't been a new cure for anything in literally decades? Doctors were chugging along, finding cures for rickets, scurvy, polio, and so on, and then someone figured out how profitable treatment is, versus finding permanent cures. The "war on cancer" has been going for nigh on to half a century, and despite all the money poured into it (and it's a lot), we're no closer to finding a "cure" now than we ever were. Why would a company want to risk its profit margin like that? Company heads in the US are legally obligated to increase profits in any way they can short of overtly breaking the law. And so they do.

Makes logical sense, anyway, as much as I want to believe in humanity's better nature.

So no, I think it was more Truth In Television than anything.Scruvy is a nutrition issue. The infectious diseases have been controlled with centuries of research. Cancer is a large number of diseases, and essentially the body failing. Aging. To cure age is at least as dificult as what was required with infection. 50 years of research is nothing.

Also, a cure for everything that cures blood clots, potential strokes, right? I mean you need to take that often otherwise you might get a heart attack and die before you get to a hospital. Big pharma is going to attempt to steal the cure. Patent it. And then build up a network, to sell it. Hopefully they will be able to find "improvements" for things like aging or increased memory every however long it takes for the patent to run out. Everyone needs it. Forever. That is a lot of money...

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 08:20 PM
I know, it's just in the back of my mind.

...along with the fact that my grandfather smoked like a chimney and died of Heart Disease, not lung cancer. His lungs were "clean as a bell."
I'm about almost totally sure that smoking is also linked to heart disease.


on that note...
A power's usefulness is inversely proportional to the amount of people in the world that share your power.
And you're REALLY screwed if you're only tangentally connected to them (not a close friend or relative) and if they've had their powers for much longer.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 08:23 PM
I think the biggest thing drug companies would have against that cancer cure is that they don't have the patent on it thus they'll lose money instead of getting money.

Whether done legitimately pushly drugs or falsely neglecting scientifically supported preventative factors, you can't stay in business without pushing something that makes a buck. Stopping the competition OTOH, ya that helps too. Not something a single company would do, but lobbyists for an entire industry often lobby for regulations to push out competition.

yes... I can see SOME people murdering (the inventor) and stealing (the cure) to ensure THEY get the patents for it and make oodles of money (and lauded as heroes, and get to have the cure for themselves and their family when needed)


Scruvy is a nutrition issue. The infectious diseases have been controlled with centuries of research. Cancer is a large number of diseases, and essentially the body failing. Aging. To cure age is at least as dificult as what was required with infection. 50 years of research is nothing.

Also, a cure for everything that cures blood clots, potential strokes, right? I mean you need to take that often otherwise you might get a heart attack and die before you get to a hospital. Big pharma is going to attempt to steal the cure. Patent it. And then build up a network, to sell it. Hopefully they will be able to find "improvements" for things like aging or increased memory every however long it takes for the patent to run out. Everyone needs it. Forever. That is a lot of money...

now that is a sensible nefarious scheme. Stealing the cure actually makes sense.

Oslecamo
2009-10-29, 08:26 PM
Smoking only increases your chance of getting cancer. you can smoke and never get cancer, and you can get cancer without smoking.
You could also jump out of a plane whitout a parachute and have a chance of escaping alive. Yet it will definetely be smaller than the chance of using the parachute. Why don't just use the parachute then?




Wow, you actually claim CEOs of big companies will sacrifice the LIVES of their family for a buck... I really don't know how to respond to something like that.

One buck no, but for some million dollars (wich is spare change for such people), yes. And technicaly they aren't sacrificing, they're just "risking". Even the worst cancers have a chance of sudenly disapearing whitout trace after all. Weren't you just claiming that only increasing the risk is perfectly fine? Well they think that way. Hope that the small chance of something going wrong doesn't happen to them.



I AM gonna deny exactly that.

Explain why there is still stuff like lepra out there then please.



Using a condom with your sole partner whom you love and trust (say, your wife or GF) when you are not worried about pregnancy and only aids. Means that you are explicitly stating that she MIGHT be cheating on you with someone (who might be cheating on her, and so forth).

It is very difficult to do so something like that without ruining your relationship, not to mention to even bring yourself to that level of cynicism and distrust where you say "just in case you are a lying cheating whore" to your loved one.
As I said, human stupidity helps a lot of diseases spread. If the wife/girlfriend was cheating, she surely wouldn't tell you, so why take the risk?

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 08:26 PM
Scruvy is a nutrition issue. The infectious diseases have been controlled with centuries of research. Cancer is a large number of diseases, and essentially the body failing. Aging. To cure age is at least as dificult as what was required with infection. 50 years of research is nothing.

Small pox went down pretty hard and fast. I really don't see something similar here for modern diseases.

As for cancer and heart disease, there are scientifically well founded and simple things that reduce your risk by a whopping 40-50%. Like a handful of nuts each day for heart disease, among other things. Seriously. Yet they receive minimal attention because there's no money to be made by advertising them. It would seem these are the most effective option we've got in the meantime until a cure pops up. Assuming that even happens anytime soon. Instead of starting rallies to pay for research, putting even a fraction of that effort towards promoting the simple preventative things would be great.

Heck, here it is for your benefit:
nuts, epecially almonds and/or sunflower seeds, plus pumpkin seeds and/or sesame seeds
a variety of colorful (not pale) fruits & vegetables
lots of whole grain foods
fish twice a week
eggs (yes, eggs)

There, was that so hard?

Prak
2009-10-29, 08:48 PM
I'm about almost totally sure that smoking is also linked to heart disease.
It is. The joke is that I'll be able to breath fine, but heart burn will be the least of my random chest pain worries.

Arakune
2009-10-29, 09:05 PM
Using a condom with your sole partner whom you love and trust (say, your wife or GF) when you are not worried about pregnancy and only aids. Means that you are explicitly stating that she MIGHT be cheating on you with someone (who might be cheating on her, and so forth).

It is very difficult to do so something like that without ruining your relationship, not to mention to even bring yourself to that level of cynicism and distrust where you say "just in case you are a lying cheating whore" to your loved one.

It's unlikely, but possible, to get AIDS from your partner even if neither cheats. There are also some STDs that have alternate means of transmission, are indetectable and (mostly) harmless to one gender (HPV praticaly only affects woman), etc.

Lamech
2009-10-29, 09:10 PM
Small pox went down pretty hard and fast. I really don't see something similar here for modern diseases.Drive by wiki link. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smallpox#Prognosis) The vaccine was discovered, (not painstakingly researched and developed) In the 18th century. Erradicated almost 200 years later. Thats not particularly fast. Nor is it comparable to researching a cure.


As for cancer and heart disease, there are scientifically well founded and simple things that reduce your risk by a whopping 40-50%. Like a handful of nuts each day for heart disease, among other things. Seriously. Yet they receive minimal attention because there's no money to be made by advertising them. It would seem these are the most effective option we've got in the meantime until a cure pops up. Assuming that even happens anytime soon. Instead of starting rallies to pay for research, putting even a fraction of that effort towards promoting the simple preventative things would be great.

Heck, here it is for your benefit:
nuts, epecially almonds and/or sunflower seeds, plus pumpkin seeds and/or sesame seeds
a variety of colorful (not pale) fruits & vegetables
lots of whole grain foods
fish twice a week

There, was that so hard?Everyone knows they need to eat well. There are a great number of programs telling people to eat well. Secondly what exactly is this research? A source or a link would be nice...

chiasaur11
2009-10-29, 09:11 PM
I view it as a natural progression. Back in The Day, Marvel heroes were the first to deal with real human problems, and not simply be universally loved paragons of virtue all the time.

Nowadays, that's old hat. All heroes have troubled personal lives, moral conflicts, and other issues. So Marvel took the next logical step and made them worse.

Now it sucks to be a hero in earth 616. I blame the lack of actual crime fighting.

Think about it, when is the last time you saw any of those guys foil a bank robbery, or stop a mugger. They never do that anymore. They just fight each other all the time now.

Spidey could solve all his problems in an instant, if he just rescued a cat from a tree.:smallwink:

Well, the FF are apparently good right now...

Which is because they never really fought small scale crime much in the first place!

(Which is interesting. Whole articles written on it, etc.)

taltamir
2009-10-29, 09:14 PM
It's unlikely, but possible, to get AIDS from your partner even if neither cheats. There are also some STDs that have alternate means of transmission, are indetectable and (mostly) harmless to one gender (HPV praticaly only affects woman), etc.

actually HPV has been known to cause prostate cancer and penile cancer in men; among other things.

And you are highly likely to transmit the flu and other diseases that can be easily transmitted without sex to a partner. Sex increases the chances of transmission of such diseases. But even if you don't have sex, you being there to take care of them instead of telling them to lock themselves at home and take care of themselves put you at risk. But it is a risk people are willing to take and that does not mean that they are stupid.

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 09:26 PM
Drive by wiki link. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smallpox#Prognosis) The vaccine was discovered, (not painstakingly researched and developed) In the 18th century. Erradicated almost 200 years later. Thats not particularly fast. Nor is it comparable to researching a cure.
Everyone knows they need to eat well. There are a great number of programs telling people to eat well. Secondly what exactly is this research? A source or a link would be nice...

You sure you don't mean 3,000 years? The same article points to an alleged vaccine in 1,000 BC. Practically speaking it was 50 years until full implementation, sooner in some areas, and 100 years until virtual elimination. If you want to say 200 years, then technically don't they still have a sample in some lab somewhere? So really it never was eliminated if you want to be technical.

Not everyone knows what eating well means. For one it's hard to find zinc in common foods outside of pumpkin seeds or ocean shellfish. Zinc is a major factor in preventing prostate cancer besides being essential for various functions in both sexes. It's hard to find omega-3 fatty acids outside of fish, but when was the last time you heard the recommendation to eat fish twice a week? Not often. It's hard to find lecithin outside of egg yolks, but when was the last time you heard that? Most people don't even remember that the kind of cholesterol in eggs isn't actually bad for your heart. Oops. Etc. for a dozen other things. It gets some attention to be sure, but not much. More often it's "don't eat too much."

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 09:32 PM
Well, the FF are apparently good right now...

Which is because they never really fought small scale crime much in the first place!

(Which is interesting. Whole articles written on it, etc.)

That IS weird, now that you mention it. Hasn't practically every other single superhero somewhere around their powerscale beaten up a mugger or a bank robber?

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 09:34 PM
Yeah even superman. And it's almost silly if you think about it. In the same amount of time he could be carrying like a billion sandwiches to starving children.

Whew, back on topic.

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 09:39 PM
Actually, given five seconds to think, I'm starting to think of superheroes all over the place that, while they might have at some point done SOMETHING about small-scale crimes, were certainly never focused on it. X-men are always more about dealing with whoever hates whatever minority mutants are an analogue for this week/psycho mutants, Thor deals with high-powered mythological crap mostly, silver surfer's cosmic..... and the avengers and justice league and other superhero teams that are as big-name as the FF usually are dealing with the guy trying to steal the entire planet or something.
I guess the FF are more unusual because they aren't at rock-'em-sock-'em-cosmic-beatdown power levels, even after the standard power creep of decades, are pretty damned old-school, aren't an allegory for rascism/homophobia/fear of tulips, and aren't BIG enough member-wise to feel like the standard global all-stars superteam yet simultaneously are more well-known than lightweight groups. And despite all this they don't really ever beat the crap out of burglers.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-29, 09:42 PM
How are the FF not at cosmic beatdown levels? They do cosmic beatdowns on a pretty routine basis. As for power creep, there's the obscenely overpowered baby Reed and Sue had. Keep in mind that they have a lot of recurring allies they can call on, too...ranging from the she-hulk to the silver surfer, depending on the time.

Sure, there are more over the top groups out there, but I'd rank them pretty high on the power scale.

Myshlaevsky
2009-10-29, 09:46 PM
Actually, given five seconds to think, I'm starting to think of superheroes all over the place that, while they might have at some point done SOMETHING about small-scale crimes, were certainly never focused on it. X-men are always more about dealing with whoever hates whatever minority mutants are an analogue for this week/psycho mutants, Thor deals with high-powered mythological crap mostly, silver surfer's cosmic..... and the avengers and justice league and other superhero teams that are as big-name as the FF usually are dealing with the guy trying to steal the entire planet or something.
I guess the FF are more unusual because they aren't at rock-'em-sock-'em-cosmic-beatdown power levels, even after the standard power creep of decades, are pretty damned old-school, aren't an allegory for rascism/homophobia/fear of tulips, and aren't BIG enough member-wise to feel like the standard global all-stars superteam yet simultaneously are more well-known than lightweight groups. And despite all this they don't really ever beat the crap out of burglers.

The FF do cosmic beat-downs so regularly it's a plot point in Planetary, where they are cast as BBEGs.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 09:51 PM
Yeah even superman. And it's almost silly if you think about it. In the same amount of time he could be carrying like a billion sandwiches to starving children.

Whew, back on topic.

food is over produced and left to rot in the fields. The reason there is world hunger AT ALL is because it costs money (some man power, but mostly fuel and vehicles) to transport it. If he would just pick up silos and transport them, or use his powers to generate lots of electricity, he could save countless lives.

The amounts of energy he spends means his powers either collect sunlight from miles around him (not just what hits him directly), or that he simply creates energy from nothing (most likely).

Drakyn
2009-10-29, 09:58 PM
The FF do cosmic beat-downs so regularly it's a plot point in Planetary, where they are cast as BBEGs.


How are the FF not at cosmic beatdown levels? They do cosmic beatdowns on a pretty routine basis. As for power creep, there's the obscenely overpowered baby Reed and Sue had. Keep in mind that they have a lot of recurring allies they can call on, too...ranging from the she-hulk to the silver surfer, depending on the time.

Sure, there are more over the top groups out there, but I'd rank them pretty high on the power scale.

Sorry, completely missed out on that. I think the problem is that whenever I think of things they fight, the most prominent one, no matter what, is always going to be DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM flashing in huge neon letters. Which admittedly is pretty stupid seeing as they were the freakin' ORIGIN of Galactus and the surfer. And the negative zone.
...huh. Beyond DOOMY DOOM DOOMS what exactly DO they fight that isn't extradimensional and/or from space? I'm seriously drawing major blanks here.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-29, 10:18 PM
The amounts of energy he spends means his powers either collect sunlight from miles around him (not just what hits him directly), or that he simply creates energy from nothing (most likely).

Trying to make superman's powers make sense in accordance with real world physics is likely to lead to either obscenely convoluted explanations or spontaneous head explosion. I'm not sure which is worse.

For example...why his suit is always fine despite his cape routinely being torn to shreds.

Prak
2009-10-29, 10:20 PM
Trying to make superman's powers make sense in accordance with real world physics is likely to lead to either obscenely convoluted explanations or spontaneous head explosion. I'm not sure which is worse.

For example...why his suit is always fine despite his cape routinely being torn to shreds.
for a while, all of his powers were explained as psychic in nature. His superstrength and invulnerability were short range telekinesis. This would protect his suit but not his cape.

I don't know the current explanation, but I do know that in the four horseman SM/BM/WW storyline what amounts to a zombie bit him and not only tore his sleeve, but his skin as well.

Somewhere
2009-10-29, 10:21 PM
Or he eats a bajillion hamburgers, like on one of the covers at superdickery.
Man, silver age Supes was a ****.

Kallisti
2009-10-29, 10:22 PM
For example...why his suit is always fine despite his cape routinely being torn to shreds.

They're both made of a special self-repairing nanofiber that the Martian Manhunter got for him. The cape wasa beta release, and is really slow compared to the suit.

Or maybe a wizard did it, and a lower-level wizard did it to his cape.

Or maybe bad guys all have a crippling fear/hatred of capes.

Or...

Prak
2009-10-29, 10:28 PM
They're both made of a special self-repairing nanofiber that the Martian Manhunter got for him. The cape wasa beta release, and is really slow compared to the suit.

Or maybe a wizard did it, and a lower-level wizard did it to his cape.

Or maybe bad guys all have a crippling fear/hatred of capes.

Or...
The "No Capes" rule means a lot less when you're indestructible.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 10:30 PM
for a while, all of his powers were explained as psychic in nature. His superstrength and invulnerability were short range telekinesis. This would protect his suit but not his cape.

I don't know the current explanation, but I do know that in the four horseman SM/BM/WW storyline what amounts to a zombie bit him and not only tore his sleeve, but his skin as well.

current explanation is, he projects a "super durability" / super deflection forcefield that covers his entire body and slightly beyond his body. So as long as it is close enough (spandex) it will not be harmed.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-29, 10:31 PM
I rest my case.

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 10:31 PM
A cape that can be grabbed or caught in something is a liability. See: The Incredibles. Thus making a resilient suit and easy-to-tear cape makes sense.

taltamir
2009-10-29, 10:36 PM
A cape that can be grabbed or caught in something is a liability. See: The Incredibles. Thus making a resilient suit and easy-to-tear cape makes sense.

a cape IS a liability, it is even worse than long hair.

KitsuneKionchi
2009-10-29, 10:40 PM
Why does every "superhero" need a "super power". Batman's "power" is not money. He doesn't have a power. He is a super hero. He has power. Just not "a" power. Is that so hard to comprehend?

taltamir
2009-10-29, 10:42 PM
because of the word "super"... if he has no super powers, then he is a "normal hero" not a "super hero"

KitsuneKionchi
2009-10-29, 10:45 PM
because of the word "super"... if he has no super powers, then he is a "normal hero" not a "super hero"

Aaah touche. In that case, why classify batman as a super hero? Does it make him less of a badass to just be a "hero"? Or does wearing a costume immediately make you a super hero irreguardless of their powers (i.e. people will make powers for them, even if they have to stretch the truth to do so).

taltamir
2009-10-29, 10:48 PM
Aaah touche. In that case, why classify batman as a super hero? Does it make him less of a badass to just be a "hero"? Or does wearing a costume immediately make you a super hero irreguardless of their powers (i.e. people will make powers for them, even if they have to stretch the truth to do so).

You know, that is a very good point :)

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-29, 10:50 PM
Aaah touche. In that case, why classify batman as a super hero? Does it make him less of a badass to just be a "hero"? Or does wearing a costume immediately make you a super hero irreguardless of their powers (i.e. people will make powers for them, even if they have to stretch the truth to do so).

He's not technically a super-hero, save for the fact that he can not only hang with the Big Boys (Superman, Martian Manhunter, etc), he's far more dangerous than any of them, despite being fully human and essentially fully mundane. Doesn't even have Charles Atlas Superpowers. He's the most dangerous being on the planet, lack of superpowers notwithstanding.

Just goes to show that Batman is the Ultimate Boyscout ('cuz he's always crazy-prepared). Basically, he's Just That GoodTM.

AstralFire
2009-10-29, 11:31 PM
Aaah touche. In that case, why classify batman as a super hero? Does it make him less of a badass to just be a "hero"? Or does wearing a costume immediately make you a super hero irreguardless of their powers (i.e. people will make powers for them, even if they have to stretch the truth to do so).

Within his own books, Batman is a hero because he is an above-average mortal taking on other mortals. You'd never know he's mastered 127 martial arts or any of that junk - people get good swings on him now and then. He's not untouchable.

Within his wider universe, Batman is a superhero because he gets power of plotted-up to be able to survive any encounter on his terms, and is frequently called in as an A-Lister to fight people who should logically be making Batman pie, and doing it with such perfect speed and accuracy that he never even knew they were there.

I often make the comment that I generally love Batman the hero and dislike Batman the superhero because it cheapens the character, in my view.

Being a superhero means you are superhuman, and yeah, I'd call anyone who regularly gets into encounters with literal gods on equal terms superhuman in some aspect.

Sewblon
2009-10-29, 11:31 PM
Why does every "superhero" need a "super power". Batman's "power" is not money. He doesn't have a power. He is a super hero. He has power. Just not "a" power. Is that so hard to comprehend? I already explained this, he can breath in space, and he officially has the strongest mind in the universe, which also explains how he can prepare for anything, learn all that science, and master all those martial arts by his twenties.

TheThan
2009-10-29, 11:35 PM
Trying to make superman's powers make sense in accordance with real world physics is likely to lead to either obscenely convoluted explanations or spontaneous head explosion. I'm not sure which is worse.

For example...why his suit is always fine despite his cape routinely being torn to shreds.

what if i told you that wasn't a suit.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-29, 11:44 PM
what if i told you that wasn't a suit.

*head explodes*

ericgrau
2009-10-29, 11:48 PM
Internal nuclear reactor, sunlight is merely used to form a molecule used as a catalyst. In any normal skin-tight suit (or any sheet tightly wrapped around another) physical damage and heat (even flame) are rapidly transferred to the underlying supporting surface. Thus damage to the suit itself is difficult. And we have a reason why the suit must be skin-tight. :smallbiggrin:

Starscream
2009-10-29, 11:49 PM
Aaah touche. In that case, why classify batman as a super hero? Does it make him less of a badass to just be a "hero"? Or does wearing a costume immediately make you a super hero irreguardless of their powers (i.e. people will make powers for them, even if they have to stretch the truth to do so).

Because when you can defeat any of the "real" superheroes it implies that you are superior to them?

Yeah, I got nothing.

Prak
2009-10-29, 11:54 PM
*head explodes*

now that's an image... Superman going into battle in the all-together, clad in only a thin coat of woad....

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-29, 11:57 PM
now that's an image... Superman going into battle in the all-together, clad in only a thin coat of woad....

Don't forget his tightie mighty-whities. Unless he's like a Ken doll and is bald as an egg. Maybe the super strength means he really IS compensating for something or a lack thereof.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 12:12 AM
Sorry....that topic, plus the whole "man of steel"...yeah, that just wouldn't be functional, yknow?

Inability to ever get it on. Worst. Superpower. Ever.

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-30, 12:13 AM
Sorry....that topic, plus the whole "man of steel"...yeah, that just wouldn't be functional, yknow?

Inability to ever get it on. Worst. Superpower. Ever.

So...basically Steve Urkel.

togapika
2009-10-30, 01:56 AM
So...basically Steve Urkel.

Except that his superpower included the ability to become "Stefan" who could indeed get it on with just about any of the ladies in the show...

taltamir
2009-10-30, 02:47 PM
now that's an image... Superman going into battle in the all-together, clad in only a thin coat of woad....

no, his skin is naturally red and blue.

Prak
2009-10-30, 03:19 PM
no, his skin is naturally red and blue.

It would explain how he always has his suit on under his day clothes.

But I prefer the idea of Superman going into battle Celt style.

In fact that'd be a hell of an Elseworlds story... Superman raised by Celts.

hamishspence
2009-10-30, 03:23 PM
I kinda liked Superman raised by apes- Superman/Tarzan- it wasn't exactly Elseworlds per se , but came pretty close. Here, Lord Greystoke wasn't raised by apes, but Kal-El was.

Prak
2009-10-30, 03:31 PM
I kinda liked Superman raised by apes- Superman/Tarzan- it wasn't exactly Elseworlds per se , but came pretty close. Here, Lord Greystoke wasn't raised by apes, but Kal-El was.

Let me guess: Gorilla Grodd was the villian for that story?

hamishspence
2009-10-30, 03:32 PM
No. La of Opar, I think.

Prak
2009-10-30, 03:53 PM
No. La of Opar, I think.

huh, never heard of them.

hamishspence
2009-10-30, 03:55 PM
La was sometimes the villain, sometimes the ally of Tarzan, in the Tarzan series.

Foryn Gilnith
2009-10-30, 04:14 PM
Red Son was interesting.

Starbuck_II
2009-10-30, 04:40 PM
Trying to make superman's powers make sense in accordance with real world physics is likely to lead to either obscenely convoluted explanations or spontaneous head explosion. I'm not sure which is worse.

For example...why his suit is always fine despite his cape routinely being torn to shreds.

This was explain in the show Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman in the third season. Clark explained to Lois (after she knew he was superman) that he emits a certain range field that protects him (not just his skin).

This is one reason his clothes are skin tight. His cloak is not skin tight (as it flows behind him).

Oh and Lex Luthor can cure cancer, but didn't sell it. He keeps it for a "in case: I get it" situation.

Prak
2009-10-30, 04:45 PM
Oh and Lex Luthor can cure cancer, but didn't sell it. He keeps it for a "in case: I get it" situation.
Which he has... a couple of times... he gets it by all but wearing kryptonite undies...

TheEmerged
2009-10-30, 05:39 PM
I often make the comment that I generally love Batman the hero and dislike Batman the superhero because it cheapens the character, in my view.

I am *SO* stealing that. It's a much better way of putting it than the one I usually use.

Side note: if you convert Batman into most superheroic RPG's at the level he actually performs, he usually ends up costing more points than Superman or Wonder Woman (in the old DC system, for example, it was several *times* as many points). The Aberrant system actually had a sidebar arguing that the Aberrant Batman would have several nova-level attributes.

lord_khaine
2009-10-30, 06:37 PM
Side note: if you convert Batman into most superheroic RPG's at the level he actually performs, he usually ends up costing more points than Superman or Wonder Woman (in the old DC system, for example, it was several *times* as many points). The Aberrant system actually had a sidebar arguing that the Aberrant Batman would have several nova-level attributes.

Thats not quite what it said, it recomendet that you took several low Mega attributes and made a "batman" style nova, instead of going crazy and spending all your points on a few flashy powers.

Mark Hall
2009-10-30, 06:46 PM
This was explain in the show Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman in the third season. Clark explained to Lois (after she knew he was superman) that he emits a certain range field that protects him (not just his skin).

This is one reason his clothes are skin tight. His cloak is not skin tight (as it flows behind him).

Oh and Lex Luthor can cure cancer, but didn't sell it. He keeps it for a "in case: I get it" situation.

Someone recently published a semi-serious paper claiming that Superman's powers can be understood if you give him one power: A subconscious control of inertia.

mostlyharmful
2009-10-30, 06:48 PM
Someone recently published a semi-serious paper claiming that Superman's powers can be understood if you give him one power: A subconscious control of inertia.

lazer vision? Time distortion? Super-Hypnosis???:smalltongue:

Lycanthromancer
2009-10-30, 06:53 PM
lazer vision? Time distortion? Super-Hypnosis???:smalltongue:

Super-knitting?

Mark Hall
2009-10-30, 06:55 PM
lazer vision? Time distortion? Super-Hypnosis???:smalltongue:

Most of his classic powers, at least. While I don't recall the argument for heat vision, Time distortion works if he can accelerate past the speed of light.

http://www.qwantz.com/fanart/superman.pdf

Starbuck_II
2009-10-30, 07:09 PM
Someone recently published a semi-serious paper claiming that Superman's powers can be understood if you give him one power: A subconscious control of inertia.

How about his telepathy, etc he has in the comics?
Is telepathy similar to inertia?

BTW, good argument either way.

Dixieboy
2009-10-30, 07:21 PM
Super-knitting?Super disguises?

Volkov
2009-10-30, 07:31 PM
Super Strength. If you have musculature beyond the maximum of your species, and you lack equally amazing bone supports. You will hurt yourself really badly by working too hard.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 08:00 PM
Someone recently published a semi-serious paper claiming that Superman's powers can be understood if you give him one power: A subconscious control of inertia.

Freezing Breath?

Super memory?

Zeful
2009-10-30, 08:11 PM
Super Hunches?

Somewhere
2009-10-30, 08:15 PM
If he can control the inertia of things other than himself, then maybe he can slow down water vapour to the point of freezing.

As for super memory...I was gonna say something about a localized Laplace's Demon, but then realized that my reasoning was way too much of a stretch.

Oslecamo
2009-10-30, 08:27 PM
Oh and Lex Luthor can cure cancer, but didn't sell it. He keeps it for a "in case: I get it" situation.

So, why did he made a clone when he got cancer? And then when his clone started dying? It seemed like a wonderfull oportunity to try out his cure.

Starbuck_II
2009-10-30, 08:45 PM
So, why did he made a clone when he got cancer? And then when his clone started dying? It seemed like a wonderfull oportunity to try out his cure.

He is a jerk. Lex isn't the most nice guy. One might think he likes his clone enough, but he doesn't apparently.

He probably thought his Clone was going to betray him. THe minor flaw with evil: can't exactly trust fellow members.

taltamir
2009-10-30, 08:45 PM
he can spin the earth backwards and that causes TIME TO GO BACK!
He is literally punching time backwards (since he flys with his fists stretched ahead)

Volkov
2009-10-30, 09:00 PM
Laser beams/Heat vision. In real life this would pretty much be a one shot wonder for organic creatures. Fire it once, and that one shot incinerates your eyes or does critical amounts of damage and prevents you from ever using that power again.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 09:35 PM
Not to mention that even if you were somehow immune to the damage, visible rays shooting wherever you look would be a slight problem. First off, they'd hinder your vision something terrible. Secondly, what happens when you hear someone step into the room? You glance at them. Your eyes refocus a ridiculous number of times per second, you'd happily fry things all around you by mistake.

Volkov
2009-10-30, 09:36 PM
Not to mention, mirrors would be the very literal death of you. You would look in a mirror, and the next thing you know, you've been bisected by your own laser.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 09:40 PM
Life as cyclops would be spectacular to observers, and painful/short for you.

Hat-Trick
2009-10-30, 09:51 PM
Why's the bastard still alive, then?

Volkov
2009-10-30, 09:53 PM
Why's the bastard still alive, then?

Because Comic book writers like bastards none of the fans like.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 09:56 PM
Why's the bastard still alive, then?

Why does Heroes keep finding obscure reasons to keep the most powerful people from fighting it out?

To string the fans along for as many precious dollars as possible before the gravy train runs dry. Thus, no superhero will ever die so long as the potential for more dollars exists, and I can't help but be disappointed in humanity whenever I hear comic geeks in an uproar about the latest fan favorite who died "for realz".

Tiki Snakes
2009-10-30, 10:23 PM
Not to mention that even if you were somehow immune to the damage, visible rays shooting wherever you look would be a slight problem. First off, they'd hinder your vision something terrible. Secondly, what happens when you hear someone step into the room? You glance at them. Your eyes refocus a ridiculous number of times per second, you'd happily fry things all around you by mistake.

This is pretty much the whole point of Cyclops as a character, to be fair?
(That and being inherantly annoying in any other than certain alternate universe versions.)

Volkov
2009-10-30, 10:26 PM
Telepathy. People do not think in complete sentences, they think like this. "Wow this is a good tasting taco i wonder if cockroaches like it too are cockroaches related to Peacocks because they both have that word in it Man I want a puppy puppies are cute, say that girl over there is cute, I wonder if she's ever done 'it'" And so on. Within a day or so, you'd go insane from hearing things no one was ever meant to hear.

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 10:27 PM
This is pretty much the whole point of Cyclops as a character, to be fair?

Honestly, I thought the entire point of Cyclops was to be *so* annoying that we actually hope Wolverine gets the girl after all. =)

Tiki Snakes
2009-10-30, 10:33 PM
Honestly, I thought the entire point of Cyclops was to be *so* annoying that we actually hope Wolverine gets the girl after all. =)

That too. Though, I did rather enjoy his Age-of-Apocolypse version. He even looked cooler.

taltamir
2009-10-30, 10:38 PM
Not to mention, mirrors would be the very literal death of you. You would look in a mirror, and the next thing you know, you've been bisected by your own laser.

supermans hair breaks scissors used on it... however he can shave by bouncing his laser from a mirror unto his beard (or at least, that is how he did in the TV series)

Tyndmyr
2009-10-30, 10:52 PM
Speaking of Superman...I recall once seeing the following scene. I have no idea where, probably silver age stuff.

So, lex luthor, being evil, and a genius, and occasionally both at once, rigs his computer with all his evil plans to explode the instant superman steps into the room, while he makes good his escape. Superman then, using his phenomenal super-memory, reassembled the computer from a smoking crater in a few seconds(super-speed).

Yeah, that's the kind of thing that even the kids say "wait...doesn't sploding things do more than just break them into pieces?"