Keith Baker's Spoon [3.5]

[Doc Roc]

A while ago, I made a serious mistake that resulted in a spoon shaped debt to Keith Baker. You may read about my torrential and repeated arse-ups here (http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75882/19868946/CO_Diary__Return_Of_The_Spoon?num=10&pg=1). I have now shipped him the following spoon:

http://kentuckykin.com/EB7/ladle01.JPG

Please provide constructive critiques of my choice in spoons and possible improvements to the build. Currently, it is ~11 inches of iron ladle, but lacks any serious considerations for out of combat utility. I was considering a few levels of mounting plaque. Thoughts?

[Pharaoh's Fist]

Did you make the holes yourself?

[Doc Roc]

No, they represent the holes in my logic, and are traditional in Kurzrish Apology Spoons, a staple of my people.

[Fenix_of_Doom]

ummm, so what exactly did you do wrong? it's hard to tell from your post and all the other posters(on the other board) don't have a clue either.

[Pharaoh's Fist]

The spoon looks like it would be uncomfortable to hold 'round the middle.

[Starbuck_II]

Looks like a weapon...
Do you hold it with finger through middle or at the end?
Does require exotric weapon proficiency to wield?

[Pharaoh's Fist]

What you fail to realize, Starbuck, is that there is no spoon.

[AshDesert]

I never thought I would say this, but that is one badass spoon:smallbiggrin:.

[Doc Roc]

In this case, there verifiably is a spoon.

What I did, was claim that Keith had written something he'd never even seen before, because I presumed I had a clean copy of the original article. It turns out that someone had actually added a bunch of hella-bad feats to the end of it, leading me to erroneously claim that Keith Baker could not be trusted with a spoon.


I was wrong.

[Korivan]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA^INFINITY.

Seriously, freakin awsome.

[Doc Roc]

I suspect he was not expecting a vintage iron ladle of weapons grade. I look forward to his reactions, and will cross post them.

[Lycanthromancer]

What you fail to realize, Starbuck, is that there is no spoon.NOOOOO! Ninja'd Mind-crushed by the Pharaoh!

And before I even knew about the thread, no less.

Silent but deadly. And me with my failed Listen check.

[Kylarra]

That is an impressive implement.

[Pharaoh's Fist]

NOOOOO! Ninja'd Mind-crushed by the Pharaoh!

And before I even knew about the thread, no less.

Silent but deadly. And me with my failed Listen check.

What you failed to realize is that you have triggered my trap card - in AMERICA!

[Vectner]

That is an impressive implement.

Thanks, I hear that a lot.

[BobVosh]

What you failed to realize is that you have triggered my trap card - in AMERICA!

Oh no! He is copying my catchphrase! In AMERICA!


Thanks, I hear that a lot.
You are right, I really should stop standing near you so often :D

[CockroachTeaParty]

I want an apology spoon... What a great concept! The mind reels.

[Doc Roc]

First I would have to offend you, and be inclined to consider myself deeply in the wrong. This would, likely, be unpleasant for both of us. :)

[BobVosh]

First I would have to offend you, and be inclined to consider myself deeply in the wrong. This would, likely, be unpleasant for both of us. :)

So you don't think we are good enough for apology spoons? Think we aren't strong enough to take your libel to get one?! Good day, Dr.! Good day!

:P

[Doc Roc]

So you don't think we are good enough for apology spoons? Think we aren't strong enough to take your libel to get one?! Good day, Dr.! Good day!

:P

I don't think I can libel you hard enough without getting banned, is more like it. :smallredface:

[BobVosh]

Out of ideal curiosity, how much does an apology spoon weighs?

Also how much did shipping that monster cost? XD

[Sliver]

3/4 of a girlscout soul! And cookies.

[Doc Roc]

Out of ideal curiosity, how much does an apology spoon weighs?

Also how much did shipping that monster cost? XD

~5 dollars for normal post. :(
So I'm guessing about two pounds.

[Berserk Monk]

It has holes? That kind of defeats the purpose of a spoon.

[Doc Roc]

You don't cook a lot of pasta, do you? Or fry shallots? Frying shallots... Oh god, I've tried it without a slotted spoon. The holes on this one are a bit big for that, but it'd work okay for ravioli. Apparently it was originally used in some purpose re: making preserves and jams.

[Vizzerdrix]

I am familiar with this type of spoon. Their is a second spoon or a fork that matches it. As far as I know, ours was just wall decorations.

I feel that a decorative spoon, a spoon meant to be shown off is a good choice. It says "look upon my wrong doing and know that I am deeply grieved by the error I have caused you. And let those whom enter your home know also see the extent of mine apology as well."

Anything else, say, a normal spoon that would have been thrown in a draw someplace would not do. Bravo sir on your choice.

[Matthew]

Heh; that is quite funny. For anybody interested, here is the original article minus the forged feats: The Moons of Eberron (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ebds/20050307a). I hope he takes great pride in that spoon and ensures that it is only used sparingly to drive the plots of games involving clueless players. :smallbiggrin:

[Doc Roc]

I am familiar with this type of spoon. Their is a second spoon or a fork that matches it. As far as I know, ours was just wall decorations.

Oh cool, that's really neat to know.

[Doc Roc]

Spoon has arrived. Preparing to mount and ship. Pictures by friday.

[Ormagoden]

Have you thought of getting the Throwing enchantment?
Or maybe flesh grinding?

[Akal Saris]

The sad thing is that I actually knew what article Doc Roc was talking about =P

[Tshern]

Add a length of rope or chain to the end of the handle and it can be used as a reach weapon.

[horseboy]

You don't cook a lot of pasta, do you? Or fry shallots? Frying shallots... Oh god, I've tried it without a slotted spoon. The holes on this one are a bit big for that, but it'd work okay for ravioli. Apparently it was originally used in some purpose re: making preserves and jams.

Not to mention, beans, corn, beets or really any vegetable that's been boiled. I hate it when bean juice touches my other foods on my plate.

[jiriku]

Have you thought of getting the Throwing enchantment?
Or maybe flesh grinding?

A fleshgrinding spoon would be most excellent. However, it clearly needs to be both keen and vorpal. Anyone can tell that a man wielding a keen vorpal fleshgrinding spoon means business.

[Fhaolan]

Be careful about this, it's a Welsh tradition that giving someone a spoon is part of the courting ritual.

Basically it's supposed to be a wooden spoon, carved by the giver himself, as proof that even if he can offer nothing else he can at least make functional tableware.

Yeah, it makes little or no sense to me either.

[Tiki Snakes]

Be careful about this, it's a Welsh tradition that giving someone a spoon is part of the courting ritual.

Basically it's supposed to be a wooden spoon, carved by the giver himself, as proof that even if he can offer nothing else he can at least make functional tableware.

Yeah, it makes little or no sense to me either.

Sounds like ye old idiot test. Can you carve a piece of wood into a roughly spoonish shape without hurting yourself? Okay, continue wooing.

[Fhaolan]

Sounds like ye old idiot test. Can you carve a piece of wood into a roughly spoonish shape without hurting yourself? Okay, continue wooing.

Okay, my wife just fell out of her chair laughing after reading that. Congrats. :smallbiggrin:

[Doc Roc]

Any item I pick up becomes fleshgrinding.

Even my toothbrush. This is, by the way, pretty rough.

@F:
I suspect I blew my chances of wooing Mr. Baker successfully a while ago. :)