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shadow_archmagi
2010-01-18, 07:01 PM
So, my players recently had their first encounter with the city's sewer system (Actually the underground evil lair of an ancient worldconquering doom race. The city poops in it as a sign of disrespect.)

Although on their first trip through, they didn't go very deep and just hit a handful of bandits, I'm thinking that sewer golems are in order. That is to say.. when I tell the players they're being attacked by golems, and they're like "Oh that is such a pile of crap" they will be quite correct.

Players are currently level 3 (gestalt) and the sewer golems won't be needed for a bit yet, but I'm not much into homebrewing so I thought I might turn to the expertise of this majestic forum. CR 4-6 should do it.

Thanks in advance!

Djinn_in_Tonic
2010-01-18, 07:05 PM
Oh man...this is to good to pass up.

I'll give it a whirl for you.

DracoDei
2010-01-18, 07:15 PM
Well, I have some pre-existing undead intestines if you want them... they are in my extended sig...

Probably not terribly relevant, but I thought I would mention it...

Zeta Kai
2010-01-19, 12:30 AM
How about my Dung Golem?

Temotei
2010-01-19, 12:33 AM
How about my Dung Golem?

That's so perfect...:smallbiggrin:

Too bad it's CR 8. Modifications!

DracoDei
2010-01-19, 12:48 AM
Here is a random hack at it. Not so much what I think is the RIGHT answer, as showing some hints as to how to go about it. Tried to highlight my changes is red... don't know if I got all of them. Dropping the spell immunity to SR 20 takes it out of the standards for D&D golems per se, although still definitely a Construct for all that so who cares?

Bits in green probably SHOULD be changed but I wasn't sure which stat they were based on, so I just marked them since I am only feeling a BIT generous at the moment.

Golem, Dung, Lesser
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 8d10+30 (74HP)
Initiative: -2
Speed: 20’ (4 squares, cannot run)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, -2 Dex, +8 natural); touch 7; flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+14
Attack: Slam +10 melee (2d10+4)
Full Attack: Slam +10 melee (2d10+4)
Space/Reach: 10’/10’
Special Attacks: Berserk, Dung Spray, Nauseous Aura
Special Qualities: Construct traits; Damage Reduction 5/Bludgeoning; Darkvision 60’; Spell Resistance 20; Low-Light Vision
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +0, Will +2
Abilities: Str 18 (+4), Dex 7 (-2), Con -- (+0), Int -- (+0), Wis 11 (+0), Cha 1 (-5)
Skills: N/A
Feats: N/A
Environment: any
Organization: solitary or pile (2-5)
Challenge Rating: ?
Treasure: N/A
Alignment: always Neutral
Advancement:
Level Adjustment: N/A

This disgusting being has a crudely-shape humanoid body made from dung, ranging from desiccated droppings to fresh wet fecal matter. A swarm of flies buzz around its shapeless mass as waves of nearly-visible stench waft from the foul automaton. It wears no clothing whatsoever.

Made by only the most perverse tribal shamans or zealous devil-worshippers, Dung Golems are the poorly-made bastardizations of more traditional golems. Only vaguely resembling a living creature, they look much more like what they really are: big heaps of manure.

A Dung Golem cannot speak or make any vocal noise. It walks and moves with a slow, clumsy gait. It stands about 8˝’ tall & weighs almost 700 pounds.

Combat
Golems are tenacious in combat and prodigiously strong as well. Being mindless, they do nothing without orders from their creators. They follow instructions explicitly & are incapable of any strategy or tactics. They are emotionless in combat & cannot be provoked.

A golem’s creator can command it if the golem is within 60’ & can see & hear its creator. If not commanded, a golem usually follows its last instruction to the best of its ability, though if attacked it returns the attack. The creator can give the golem a simple command to govern its actions in his or her absence. The golem’s creator can order the golem to obey the commands of another person (who might in turn place the golem under someone else’s control, & so on), but the golem’s creator can always resume control over his creation by commanding the golem to obey him alone.

• Berserk (Ex): when a Dung Golem enters combat, there is a cumulative 1% chance each round that its elemental spirit breaks free & the golem goes berserk; the uncontrolled golem goes on a rampage, attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach, then moving on to spread more destruction; once a Dung Golem goes berserk, no known method can reestablish control; it takes 1 minute of inactivity by the golem to reset the golem’s berserk chance to 0%

• Dung Spray (Ex): once every 1d6+4 rounds, a Dung Golem can emit a 30’ cone of watery dung from its hands; all creatures struck by this fetid spray must succeed a Fortitude save (DC14) or be knocked prone; they must also succeed a Fortitude save (DC12) or become nauseated for 1d4+3 rounds

• Nauseous Aura (Ex): a Dung Golem smells so foul that all creatures within 10’ must make a Fortitude save (DC12) each round or become sickened for 1 round; also, any creature that comes in contact with the Dung Golem must succeed a Fortitude save (DC12) or become nauseated for 1d4+3 rounds

• Immunity to Magic (Ex): a Dung Golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance

Construction
A Dung Golem’s body must be sculpted from a single well-packed heap of fresh manure weighing at least 1,000 pounds; this manure must be collected from Magical Beasts only, & treated with a rare fragrant oil worth 700GP. Creating the body requires a Craft: Sculpting check (DC15); it also requires hourly Fortitude saves (DC12) to resist becoming nauseated by the rank odor.

CL 12th; Craft Construct, animate objects, commune, limited wish, transmute mud to rock, caster must be at least 12th level; Price 55,000GP; Cost 27,500GP + 2,200XP.

nxwtypx
2010-01-19, 10:07 AM
In EnWorld's Creature Catalog forum lies a similar monster... I can't find it as I lack search credentials.