View Full Version : Eldritch Knowledge

The Vorpal Tribble
2010-02-13, 05:32 PM
What strange wisdom and obscure factoids roll around in your head? What information are you second to none, regardless of usability?


Mine include the subjects of Poultry, Monsters, M*A*S*H and Satellite TV.

Chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys, guineafowl and pigeons. When I was 10 my mom allowed me and each of my 4 siblings to pick out a chick for our own to raise. We did, and got hooked on it. I joined the National Poultry Association and by the time I was 16 could identify by sight 'any' of the 300+ breeds of chicken. From common breeds to exotic. From the almost featherless Transylvanian naked-necks, to the walking puffballs that are Cochins. Bantams, standard and giant-bred. From there went on to the other fowl mentioned above.

I've hatched eggs of all from hens, incubators, and once, yes, by accident involving a sweater left in the sun for three weeks, to adulthood. I can sex chicks from birth and know the mannerisms of each breed. I even encouraged crossbreeding. You may not know it but chickens can breed with other creatures. Chicken/guineafowl are very strange, as are duck/geese.

Emus, peafowl and pheasants are also creatures I've hatched, raised and bred.

Since my youngest memory I've been fascinated with monsters, both living, prehistoric and legendary. I had an almost encyclopedic knowledge of dinosaurs and ice age beasts. I wrote zombie stories when I was 5. This fascination has never left me and I have a veritable library of lore. I can tell you how the myths began, when a species died out, or where sightings abound. I know how to foil a koppa without lifting a hand or how to evade the dreaded yowie. I know the herbs to ward off a skinwalker and how to dress for a meeting with a fairy.

While most kids were raised on cartoons or learning programs, I would fall asleep to the warm and fuzzy tune of Suicide Is Painless every midnight on Nick-at-night. As a child I enjoyed the slapstick, as an adult I appreciate the witticisms.

The show is my comfort viewing and I can quote verbatim nearly every episode except the last season. I know where each character was born to their favorite foods.

Hawkeye is my hero and Colonel Flag my arch-enemy.

Satellite TV
To supplement my income I've worked as an installation technician, troubleshooter, repairman and diagnostician of DISH network equipment for the last two years.

I know every model inside and out and know more about them than I really care to know. The annoying thing is is everyday I say to myself, 'Well, never seen THAT before'.

I've had to deal with everything from fire ants in the wiring to tree crushing the dishes to snow glare to squirrel attacks. I've had receivers melted, shot, urinated on and infested with roaches and know the symptoms of each just by its behavior.

2010-02-13, 05:37 PM
Oh gods M*A*S*H is awesome, it may have originally been started before my time but damn. I used to watch it all the time and now I've watched it pretty much to death, me thinks.

I'm rather more okay at most/some topics, then especially good at one certain thing.

The Vorpal Tribble
2010-02-13, 05:40 PM
Oh gods M*A*S*H is awesome, it may have originally been started before my time but damn.
Same here. The last episode aired on Feb 28th of 1983, a month before I was born.

2010-02-13, 06:21 PM
I do research for random stuff on the web so I have a lotta useless trivia wandering round in my head. But i do specialize in finding/remembering stuff on dinosaurs, mythology, monsters, genre movies, comics, art, and pr0n. And weird trivia. Really weird and obscure trivia...

2010-02-13, 09:44 PM
I didn't have any need for knowledge skills, I've got Bardic Knowledge :smallcool:.

On topic though, I know a bit about history and geography. I also know a lot of trivia on some video games I like. Ooh, and philosophy! I know a lot about that.

2010-02-13, 10:06 PM
I know something about just about anything. I have at least a passing interest in just about anything (and even the things I'm not interested in I'll be happy to hear some interesting tidbit about). Bring up just about any topic, and I'll almost certainly be able to say something about it. If I can't, then I know where to find it (research is one of my ~5 things I'm particularly good at).
Unfortunately, I don't know enough about, or am good enough at, any one or few things to really seek a career in that area with any confidence. I'm like an incredibly untalented Leonardo da Vinci...

2010-02-13, 10:38 PM
Thoology and philosophy mainly,
with a little dash of psychology and parapsychology and a sprinkling of occult studies.
Oh yeah, and ways to munchkin a 3.5 character.

2010-02-13, 10:44 PM
ThoologyCareful, that way lies madness and mindflayers.

2010-02-14, 12:50 AM
When it comes to knowing a show or the like, Futurama for me. Watched all of it way too many times.

Outside of that, rather than any incredible knowledge in some focused area, I just study everything all the time (one hour per day of studying unrelated to schoolwork no exceptions). Just finished listening to an MIT lecture on the future of computing and multi-core processing.

2010-02-14, 01:37 AM
Cant say I am truly more knowledgeable about anything then anyone else. Know alot about cars as my father is an automechanic, but more than others, no way
I know a fair amount about computers as I have had 2 jobs with tech support and a couple of my friends build them and/or are going to school to study computers.

The only think I can think of that I am maybe an expert of and know MUCH more than even people I work with (I am a nurse) is burns. Not only because I am a burn surviver but I have studdied them. The different types of burns (fire, electrical, chemical, etc), the different degrees of burns (there are actually 6 degrees of burns but only the first 3 are ever used), how to treat burn victoms, the speciality needs of burns and the different types of medications that are used in the treatment of severe wounds from burns.

2010-02-14, 01:48 AM
What're the other 3 degrees of burns? Actually, for that matter, what exactly are the first 3?

2010-02-14, 01:59 AM
Well, I did read five pages of "Unknown Cults". You'd be surprised how many ways there are to accidentally summon an eldritch abomination!

2010-02-14, 02:03 AM
Epidermal (first-degree or superficial thickness); can be sunburns, only involve the outermost layer of skin
Dermal (second-degree or partial thickness-superficial); manifests as superficial blistering, can involve nerve pain, involves the superficial and deep dermis (next layer of skin)
Dermal with subcutaneous damage (third-degree or partial thickness-deep); manifests as charring and extreme damage of the epidermis, these may require grafitng; also involves subcutaneous tissue
Hypodermal (fourth-degree or full thickness); charring and catastrophic damage of the hypodermis or subcutaneous tissue (the innermost layer of skin), can be fatal as burns damage muscle, tendon, ligament tissue

Burns can also be classified in terms of Total Surface Area
Types of burns include; chemical, electrical, radiation, scalding, heat, fricition et al.

Burns may lead to primary or secondary oedema (swelling), loss of ROM (range of movement/motion), thickening of ligaments and tissue, necrosis of muscle, infection, tetanus, shock, respiratory diseases

2010-02-14, 02:16 AM
Ya what Amiel said. Maybe easier to remember would be

1st- sunburn, usually painful redness of the skin, no blisters
2nd- Deep sunburn, painful redness of skin with blisters, could include minor very shallow wounds
3rd- Full thickness of the skin has been burned. Painful to surrounding area but much of the nerves in the actual burn are destroyed that the tissue is almost not painful. 3rd degree burns burn through the skin and can burn through the fat layer. But not the muscle.
4th- Into and/or through the muscle layer. At this point the limb (if it is a limb) is so badly damaged that many times to save the persons life the limb is amputated. If it is not a limb (like the chest or head) the person probably did not live. That is why only 3 degrees are usually used. More than 3rd degree and the area is usually useless.
5th- throungh the muscle and to the bone. At this point the limb in completely useless and will be removed IF the person survived (unlikely)
6th- Total cremationn. the area of the body is just ash.

2010-02-14, 12:03 PM
Well, i read a lot of fantasy, and I can remember Mythos factiods of the top of my head. Only problem is that when i sleep i dream about elves attacking ryleh and other such maddness.

oh, and i know many cookie recipies. :3

2010-02-14, 04:15 PM
I guess Internet Memes would be my encyclopedic knowledge. Sounds so useless.

2010-02-14, 04:34 PM
Pigs have corkscrew shaped penises.

The Vorpal Tribble
2010-02-14, 04:44 PM
Pigs have corkscrew shaped penises.
Yeah, but do you know where the insult 'dork' comes from?

2010-02-14, 04:52 PM
Yeah, but do you know where the insult 'dork' comes from?

It's just a bastardization of the word "d**k" I think.

As for my knowledge, I know a good bit about theology (more about western than eastern, though I'm trying to fix that) and history (the two go together so well). I have a bunch of just random knowledge about all sorts of stuff though. Oh, and I have a better than average knowledge of quantum mechanics and quantum physics, but not enough to really make sense of it all.

2010-02-14, 05:07 PM
Yeah, but do you know where the insult 'dork' comes from?

Whales (The creature, not the country), don't they...

Fifty-Eyed Fred
2010-02-14, 06:26 PM
History, mostly British and European. For some reason I can't go a day without looking some kind of historical event up, even though I would never want to be a historian, and I keep on finding strange uses for that knowledge as well. Truly the most eldritch of secrets are those of the past.

The internet is a great tool for instantaneous knowledge though. Want to learn how to tie a cravat? Good sir, YouTube knows. Want to learn in an easily accessible fashion the principles of Keynesian economics? Wikipedia's your man/gender neutral website, my good man/gender neutral internet person.

2010-02-14, 07:20 PM
Man, I feel really stupid reading this thread. I don't know squat about squat compared to you folks.

The Vorpal Tribble
2010-02-14, 07:22 PM
Man, I feel really stupid reading this thread. I don't know squat about squat compared to you folks.
We... know squat?

oh, and i know many cookie recipies. :3
What's the tastiest?

Mercenary Pen
2010-02-14, 07:36 PM
I must admit, I know rather more than is necessarily healthy about the British rail network...

I'm sure there are other areas where I know a fair deal, but I can't really think what they are at present.

2010-02-14, 07:53 PM
I know lots of history, a fair amount of scientific minutia, lots of media/literature things (like everyone else, yeah), some theology, and numerous conspiracy theories. The "shapeshifting alien reptiles descended from Sumerian high priests control the world" theory is my favorite.

2010-02-14, 08:37 PM
I know way too much about Excel VBA and Warhammer 40K rules. :smalltongue:

2010-02-14, 09:33 PM
I know much about almost anything. There has never been a topic I couldn't understand or participate in conversation. It's funny, because the moment my friends and I started reading into classes (first time DnD ) everyone voted for me to go Bard, just for Bardic Knowledge and general behaviour :smallbiggrin:

2010-02-14, 11:15 PM
I suffer from an excellent ability to remember trivial information. Any chance it's completely useless, I know it off the top of my head. Sadly, this is a job skill in the military.

2010-02-15, 10:37 AM
My #1 goal in life is to increase my knowledge about many things, especially "nerdy" stuff, such as fantasy and science fiction, both well-known and obscure. My head is full of trivia, and it keeps pouring in. But there is one field I'm particularly knowledgeable in (in my own opinion, of course), and that is Warcraft lore.

2010-02-16, 01:31 AM
Whales (The creature, not the country), don't they...

Correct the term dork is actually that certain part of a male whale's anatomy.

I did not even have to look that up. That is what I get for watching way too much t.v.

2010-02-16, 01:47 AM
Correct the term dork is actually that certain part of a male whale's anatomy.

I did not even have to look that up. That is what I get for watching way too much t.v.

I got it from a "Far Side" collection before I was ten.

2010-02-16, 02:27 AM
Speaking of Far Side, anyone who likes to talk about how the fear of ducks or fear of ducks watching you is anatidaephobia ought to go read it.

2010-02-16, 02:04 PM
~Take a look, it's in a book, Reading Rainbow~

Speaking of Far Side, anyone who likes to talk about how the fear of ducks or fear of ducks watching you is anatidaephobia ought to go read it.

There's a real reason to be afraid of ducks, especially if you're a female duck. Waterfowl are rape fiends. Quoth NatGeo,

"Our best guess is that the birds use [the long penis] as a kind of lasso," McCracken said. "The males have to chase the females, and even during copulation the females are trying to escape."

Filthy animals. I chose this moniker long before I knew the horrifying truth and in tribute to a Lord of the Flies parody filmed by my best friend's brother.

The Vorpal Tribble
2010-02-16, 02:06 PM
There's a real reason to be afraid of ducks, especially if you're a female duck. Waterfowl are rape fiends. Quoth NatGeo,

Filthy animals.
No kidding. Have had several drowned because of those #%#^ mallards.

2010-02-16, 02:42 PM
I try to be a generalist (my definition of a specialist is someone that knows more and more about less and less until they know absolutely everything there is to know about absolutely nothing at all :) ).

A couple of things that I sometime feel I know WAY to much about though:


Actually just about any kind of scifi technology. I love scifi although I don't consider myself a trekie. I've watched the all the episodes but I don't own my own starfleet uniform, I can't quote lines from various episodes.

But I love scifi tech and have the technical manuals for the Enterprise, Voyager, the Deathstar, for Babylon 5, and so forth and could tell you the difference between a type VI and type X+ phaser, how many turbolaser a correllon corvette has, the various different ways people have dreamed up for faster than light travel (warpdrive, jumpdrive, wormhole jumps, gravity drives, relativity drives) and the general deckplans of starships of the various scifi franchises and so forth.

Greyhawk & Forgotten Realms

I grew up playing roleplaying games and know most of the history and chronology of the Greyhawk and Forgotten Realms fantasy worlds. Everything from the story of the origins of Vecna and Kas to the Time of Troubles.

2010-02-16, 02:49 PM
...I don't consider myself a trekie. I've watched the all the episodes...ALL the episodes? :smalleek: I've got some bad news for you. :smallcool:

2010-02-16, 02:56 PM
Most of my knowledge is in the forbidden realms of real-world religion (both ancient and modern) and politics (mainly modern). I also dabble in psychology, philosophy, folklore, and old legends.

2010-02-16, 03:17 PM
Nothing the Internet can't match or equal. Now, eldritch and forbidden arts of analysis--for getting from point A to nearby mental point B by means of a Möbius strip crossed over itself once and folded back on itself to resemble a normal circle, tracing an OotSiverse-like ambit around the snarl of the obvious--I'm your gal.