View Full Version : Sonnet Feedback

2010-02-27, 05:38 PM
Well Enlgish class has decided that we need to write a sonnet and I'd appreciate any critique or thoughts on mine.

The Dark

A dark consuming void surrounds this room
What placed me here erased by long hard years
Trapped by tight bound chains to this pressing doom
No door can be found I give into my tears
Light never shines here no birlliant grace
Each breath chocked out from a sulfurous cloud
Song and joy are blasphemy in this place
Apathy's sweet embrace a cunning shroud
But the chains aren't locked nor the door concealed
Yet to leave here a herculean task
Easier to stay then to hurt and feel
All emotion caged by a gilded mask
So I remain enslaved by fear and doubt
A coward too unwilling to get out

Once again any and all comments/critique/etc. are greatly appreciated.