Monologue Suggestions

[Kane]

My school is holding a monologue competition, and I'm going to be participating, not because I'm particularly good, but because it's credit for one of my classes. (Oh, yeah, and it's fun, too.) That said, I'm wondering if people have any suggestions as to a good monologue to do; I was thinking of doing the 'Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears' one, as I've sort of wanted to do it for a while, but I found out that, A, it's a bit short. [5-10 minutes, with characterization (so pauses and stuff are okay.)], and B, it was the winning one last year, which makes me feel vaguely guilty for choosing it even though I didn't know at the time, and I also suspect the Judges will not go for it twice.

I've a bit of a sci-fi nut, though, so I was wondering if anyone has any decent monologues from books or interesting sources.
[Tried to look up a Dark Tower excerpt that would do, except I couldn't find anything online, or in the three books of it that I can access at my local library.]

Advice would be appreciated.

[DraPrime]

This (http://www.monologuearchive.com/dramatic_men.html) is a relatively good list of excellent monologues. I especially recommend Oedipus at Colonus (http://www.monologuearchive.com/s/sophocles_023.html), Vera, or The Nihilists (http://www.monologuearchive.com/w/wilde_014.html), and The War of the Worlds (http://www.monologuearchive.com/w/wells_004.html).

[Kane]

The War of teh Worlds (http://www.monologuearchive.com/w/wells_004.html).

I-



You are my hero.

[Serpentine]

I have a book of kids' plays that I'm pretty sure has at least one one-man piece. Would that count? I'll look for it when I get home. Wait... crap, do I still have that book? :smallconfused: :smalleek: :smallfrown:

[Icewalker]

Um, this speech (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0421.html)? Especially in a competition, because I guarantee you that several of the speeches it references will be used (hell, you were considering one).

[JonestheSpy]

A monologue I never got the chance to perform but always wish I had is Salieri's tirade against god from Amadeus, closing Act 1, I believe.

They say, God is not mocked. I tell you, I am not mocked!

[JDMSJR]

Do the opening monologue from "Patton." That should be a sure-fire way to leave everybody speechless :smallbiggrin:

[DraPrime]

I-



You are my hero.

Cool, Im a hero.

[Rutskarn]

Anything Rorschach says in Watchmen is pure character-driven gold. Keep in mind that you musn't merely parrot his flat, stunted manner of speech--instead, let the passion of his words flow through in a more emotive fashion, retaining only a hint of his chilling coldness.

Unless you haven't read Watchmen, in which case, I'unno. Cyrano's self-insults are always good for a laugh.

[Joran]

From Neil Gaiman, American Gods. Originally spoken by a girl, but there's no reason it has to be, line breaks were added just to dissolve the wall of text.:


I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed.

Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass.

I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative.

I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal God who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal God who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.

[Cyrano]

Anything Rorschach says in Watchmen is pure character-driven gold. Keep in mind that you musn't merely parrot his flat, stunted manner of speech--instead, let the passion of his words flow through in a more emotive fashion, retaining only a hint of his chilling coldness.

Unless you haven't read Watchmen, in which case, I'unno. Cyrano's self-insults are always good for a laugh.

I hardly consider myself laughing material, sir.

[Serpentine]

Finally looked for that book. It only has one monologue. Here's the start and end of it, so I know whether it's worht posting the whole thing:
This School Is Driving Me Nuts!This school is driving me nuts. I've been to other schools but never one like this. I'll give you an example. On my first day I was late. I'd sprained my ankle. I gave the principal a note but he said it was a lame excuse. (Pause) It's true. Then the music teacher asked me if I was good at picking up music. I said, "Yes," and he said, "Good. Pick up that record player and move it back to my office." (Pause)
He gets more and more loud and angry, and the jokes get worse and worse, 'til the end:
(Yell.) This school is driving me nuts! It's no wonder no one wants to come here any more. The other day one of the mothers couldn't get her son to go to school. The son said (Jumping up and down putting on a babyish voice.) "I don't want to go back to school! I don't want to! I don't want to! Nobody's going to make me go!" And the mother said, "Don't be silly! Act your age! You have to go to school. You're 45 years old and you're the principal." It's all of it true. Thank you.

[Grimlock]

A monologue I never got the chance to perform but always wish I had is Salieri's tirade against god from Amadeus, closing Act 1, I believe.

They say, God is not mocked. I tell you, I am not mocked!

I second this, it is an awsome monologue!
Also, if you don't mind playing a real nasty character, (and assuming your school will let you swear), The speech given by Roberto MIranda in "Death and the Maiden" by Ariel Dorfman, where he admits, (or does he?), that he abducted and raped the character of Paulina. This is a brilliant, if it at times deeply unpleasant, play. One of my Theatre Studies students did this monologue for his exam got full marks 180/180!

Also the Edmund 'Bastard' speech from "King Lear"- it is Edmund justifying why he is evil!

Anyhoo, good luck with the performance!

[thompur]

Just be sure to read the play that the monologue is from, so that you can understand its context.

That said, I've been working on a couple of good ones; the affore mentioned soliloquy by Salieri "They say that God is not mocked. I tell you Man is not mocked, I am not mocked!"
Also, from Chechov's The Seagull; Trigorin's monologue to Nina, about his writing. If you can, get the translation with the woodcuts sprinkled through the book, that's the best.

[Kane]

I'd like to thank you all for your suggestions; I think I would have liked to do Patton's speech, but I didn't have enough time.

Ended up doing the Artilleryman from War of the Worlds. I liked it, it was good, but I liked Vera the Nihilist even more. I felt like I knew that one, and despite just reading it like, four times, I remember half of it. (Wasn't even trying to memorize it.)

I might have done that, except it came out to about a minute and forty five seconds of talking, which would have left me with three and a quarter minutes short.[ I don't think I can fill that much with characterization.


That said; I think I did alright, and it was quite long enough.

JDMSJR: I've heard bits and pieces of that, but never the whole thing. (Didn't even know it was a single speech, or anything.) If I get another chance at a similar competition (and more than thirty six hours to memorize something,) I will [i]so be doing that one.