PDA

View Full Version : Batman vs. Lazy Smurf



ARMOURERERIC
2006-06-04, 02:59 AM
Discuss

molonel
2006-06-04, 03:06 AM
Discuss

Oh good Lord, enough already. I had friends banned off of this forum for funnier stuff than this.

Holy_Knight
2006-06-04, 03:41 AM
Wow, when I saw the title I figured it was Celestial Stick lashing out at Batman again... ;)

Rex_Hondo
2006-06-04, 03:43 AM
Man, I like Batman, and I think it's time to give somebody else a chance in the ring, so to speak.

Holy_Knight
2006-06-04, 03:52 AM
Man, I like Batman, and I think it's time to give somebody else a chance in the ring, so to speak.
Well it's really not his fault--he always wins every fight he's in, so he's in every match. ;D

Seriously though, I'm pretty sure I picked Spiderman to beat him, unless I'm misremembering something pretty badly. The real reason is probably just that Batman generates the most controversy, so people naturally try to make threads with him to either extend that controversy, or diminish it.

Gnorosch
2006-06-04, 05:15 AM
Lazy Smurf wins. The smurfs always win, because if they seem to lose some incredibly powerful being turns up and saves them. So, Batman has no chance,due to the laws dictacting that regardless of your own power, there will suddenly appear a being superior to you once you threaten the smurfs.


Seriously though, I'm pretty sure I picked Spiderman to beat himGood chance - Batman is just like the guys Spidy is constantly fighting: intelligent, lots of resources, making long time plans to take him down. And when fighting in Gotham City, Spidy would even have the advantage not to be stalked by a paranoid newspaper.

Rex_Hondo
2006-06-04, 05:36 AM
Lazy Smurf wins. The smurfs always win, because if they seem to lose some incredibly powerful being turns up and saves them. So, Batman has no chance,due to the laws dictacting that regardless of your own power, there will suddenly appear a being superior to you once you threaten the smurfs.

Well, does that work for individual Smurfs, or only when the Smurfs as a group are being threatened? Hasn't Gargamel captured individual Smurfs at various times?

My God, I can hardly believe I'm actually perpetuating this thing... :P

Gnorosch
2006-06-04, 08:33 AM
Well, does that work for individual Smurfs, or only when the Smurfs as a group are being threatened?Does not matter, because if you threaten one smurf, the others will hurry to his rescue. Gargamel tried to use this behaviour once to trap them using an evil female smurf he created (and who was letter turned into Smurfette by Papa Smurf).


Hasn't Gargamel captured individual Smurfs at various times?He captures at least one smurf in any episode I can remember.


My God, I can hardly believe I'm actually perpetuating this thing... :PNeither can I, must be a flashback from childhood. ;)

Ing
2006-06-04, 02:04 PM
a better debate would be

UNICEF VS SMURFS

Alchemistmerlin
2006-06-04, 02:09 PM
a better debate would be

UNICEF VS SMURFS


Smurfs Versus Snorks!

Ing
2006-06-04, 02:37 PM
Result of the Unicef Vs SMurfs battle

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2681621?htv=12

winner: UNICEF!

Haggis_McCrablice
2006-06-04, 07:44 PM
So what would Batman do with a Smurf if he caught one? Cook it? Feed it to his dog? Make gold? Rub it on his feet to cure his Bat-bunions? :P

Ing
2006-06-04, 08:38 PM
he'd make oil

clealry oil is made from smurfs...because it burns blue

nothingclever
2006-06-04, 09:27 PM
What if Lazy Smurf was too lazy to resist and got bitten by a black fly and became a "dark smurf" and further infected his smurf village to forge an evil army to confront Batman?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dark_Smurfs

Korith
2006-06-04, 09:37 PM
As an aside regarding the Smurfs, Gargamel, and stuff...

(As a warning to those who would attempt to read the links below - be prepared for a very long, very addictive read that will entice you to read the rest of this site.)

An Unclean Legacy: "The Fallen Knight" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=628)
An Unclean Legacy: "Manfred's Day" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=629)
An Unclean Legacy: "Glorious Unicorn Santrieste" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=630)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Soulless Girl" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=631)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Blessing Beyond Price" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=632)
An Unclean Legacy: "Inconstant Shelter" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=633)
An Unclean Legacy: "The House That Runs" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=635)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Nine-Fingered Man" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=636)
An Unclean Legacy: "Deathless" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=637)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Marvelous Fingerbone" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=638)
An Unclean Legacy: "Tomas vs. Francescu: Fight!" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=641)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Shadow on the Road" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=644)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Saraman Destiny" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=645)
An Unclean Legacy: "Rachel's Blood" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=646)
An Unclean Legacy: "Manfred on the Road" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=647)
An Unclean Legacy: "Abandoned" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=648)
An Unclean Legacy: "How Elisabet Saved Christmas" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=649)
An Unclean Legacy: "Way of the Ninja" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=650)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Spear Named Cursebreaker" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=651)
An Unclean Legacy: "Sophie and the Devil" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=652)
An Unclean Legacy: "The Duel" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=654)
An Unclean Legacy: "Grinding Samael" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=655)
An Unclean Legacy: "Francescu's Angel" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=656)
An Unclean Legacy: "Despair" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=657)
An Unclean Legacy: "Red" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=658)
An Unclean Legacy: "Violet's Sin" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=659)
An Unclean Legacy: "One Hundred Golden Men" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=660)
An Unclean Legacy: "Whoever Can Bear the Weight" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=661)
An Unclean Legacy: "And As For Montechristian Gargamel" (http://www.imago.hitherby.com/?p=662)

Rex_Hondo
2006-06-08, 05:06 AM
So what would Batman do with a Smurf if he caught one? Cook it? Feed it to his dog? Make gold? Rub it on his feet to cure his Bat-bunions? *:P

Use it as the mystical core of a weapon to use in his next inevitable showdown with Superman.

KayJay
2006-06-08, 05:57 AM
he'd pop one into his utility belt- you never know when you might get into trouble and need a smurf to bail you out.

Rex_Hondo
2006-06-08, 06:01 AM
*chuckle* I just have to wonder how many scrapes he could get out of just due to the WTF factor of chucking a Smurf at somebody.

Ghull_Ka
2006-06-08, 04:21 PM
Lazy Smurf would win in a straight up fight, but with prep time, Batman would win.

8)

Zzarchov
2006-06-08, 05:53 PM
There is only one person that can beat Batman.

James Bond, and even then it depends on which bond vs which batman.

Eg, pretty much any batman besides George Clooney would trash Lazenby, but the only batman who could even challenge Sean Connery is the Almighty Adam West.

Seeing as the Smurfs are not James Bond, they have lost.

Ing
2006-06-09, 12:05 AM
batman prepares to take down smurf town. he uses hsi wealth to purchise an industrial strength riding lawn mower from Home Depot and rides that baby down through the woods, laughing his ass off as he starts slicing mushrooms



WINNER: JOHN DEER....cause nothing runs like a deer

Krytha
2006-06-09, 01:21 AM
The smurfs are unbeatable. If its lazy smurf vs. batman, you know the rest of the smurfs are going to join in - cuz thats their superpower... The power of TEAMWORK! YAY!

Anyway, smurfs always win.

CelestialStick
2006-06-09, 03:55 PM
Wow, when I saw the title I figured it was Celestial Stick lashing out at Batman again... ;)
ROFLMAO! I don't lash out at Batman, just at the Bat-deifiers. It only seems like I lash out at Batman because he keeps his supply of Bat-deifiers in his Bat-utility Bat-belt, next to the Bat-shark-repellent. I would never attack the actual Batman, because he's just a pathetic guy in a rubber suit. ;)


So what would Batman do with a Smurf if he caught one? Cook it? Feed it to his dog? Make gold? Rub it on his feet to cure his Bat-bunions? :P

Wow! You're brilliant, McCrabby! DC is in need of a new member of the Bat-corral, becaue it's got only Batman, Batwoman (both regular and lesbian), Batgirl I, Batgirl II, Robin I, Robin II, Robin III, Huntress I and Huntress II. What they reall need is a Batdog! :D Hey, they could make it a singing Batdog and then he (or she) could join the Bat-chorale! ;)

Everyone knows that Adam West was the best Batman. I mean his name even ryhmes with "best," and he didn't even have to wear a rubber suit to pull it off. :D I do have to disagree about the movie Batmans (Batmen?): A pretty boy like Val Kilmer could barely beat a bunch of losers like UNICEF, much less a reasonably cool Bond like Lazenby. ;D

Edit: Plus I'm sure that the Val Kilner Batjoke wouldn't even remember to wear his Bat-thermal-underwear, the greatest Bat-gadget of them all! :D

Yet Another Edit: That just gave me a great idea for a new Bat-character to join the Bat-corral: Bat-Gidget! Not only does she fight crime, but she frolicks on the beach, and in a few years she can don a nun's habit and fly! :D

Ing
2006-06-09, 07:15 PM
Oh god...i actually remember the Bat Thermal underwear. its what Adam West used to save himself from Mr. Freeze....

CelestialStick
2006-06-12, 10:31 PM
Oh god...i actually remember the Bat Thermal underwear. its what Adam West used to save himself from Mr. Freeze....

Woo-Hoo! That's right! I'm glad someone else remembers that. I mean, I don't know if you're actually old enough to have watched that when it was new in the 1960s, but thoses were the days. :D

Holy_Knight
2006-06-13, 12:24 AM
ROFLMAO! *I don't lash out at Batman, just at the Bat-deifiers. *It only seems like I lash out at Batman because he keeps his supply of Bat-deifiers in his Bat-utility Bat-belt, next to the Bat-shark-repellent. I would never attack the actual Batman, because he's just a pathetic guy in a rubber suit. ;)

:)

I know, it was just funny becaue the thread got started right in the middle of the whole heated debate, with you on one side, the bat-deifiers on the other, and me, the sole voice of reason, in the middle. ;D



Wow! You're brilliant, McCrabby! DC is in need of a new member of the Bat-corral, becaue it's got only Batman, Batwoman (both regular and lesbian), Batgirl I, Batgirl II, Robin I, Robin II, Robin III, Huntress I and Huntress II. *
There's a second Huntress now? Wait... part of me sort of remembers something like that, but I can't quite recall. What was the deal with that again?



What they reall need is a Batdog! *:D *Hey, they could make it a singing Batdog and then he (or she) could join the Bat-chorale! ;)
Actually you're in luck because there already is one: Ace the Bathound! While he's not a part of current continuity, he definitely used to be! He didn't sing, but he did wear a bat-mask over his face! :D

Rex_Hondo
2006-06-13, 01:58 AM
I don't lash out at Batman, just at the Bat-deifiers

Well, other than consistently referring to him as "just a pathetic guy in a rubber suit." * ::)

Haggis_McCrablice
2006-06-13, 04:40 AM
Actually you're in luck because there already is one: *Ace the Bathound! *While he's not a part of current continuity, he definitely used to be! *

Bruce Wayne did own a dog, in his later years, in the Batman Beyond series. This Ace didn't wear a mask, but he helped Bruce's protege Terry McGinness on a couple of cases. Good sniffer; jaws like a bear-trap. According to one episode he saved Bruce from a thug in Crime Alley. Ace had had a hard life under an abusive master who forced dogs to fight for the amusement of crowds. >: He severely mistrusted humans--yet the two hit it off. Bruce would later claim the two saved one another.

CelestialStick
2006-06-18, 12:14 AM
:)

I know, it was just funny becaue the thread got started right in the middle of the whole heated debate, with you on one side, the bat-deifiers on the other, and me, the sole voice of reason, in the middle. ;D

Ha, silly boy. I am the voice of reason. You were madly scrambling to disassocate yourself from the pathetic Bat-deifiers as I mercilessly lampooned their intense irrationality.


There's a second Huntress now? Wait... part of me sort of remembers something like that, but I can't quite recall. What was the deal with that again?

The first one apparently was the one depicted in the Birds of Prey tv show, the daughter of Bruce Wayne and Seleena Kyle. The newer one isn't related to Bruce or Seleena but did don the Batgirl costume for a while.


Actually you're in luck because there already is one: Ace the Bathound! While he's not a part of current continuity, he definitely used to be! He didn't sing, but he did wear a bat-mask over his face! :D

Is that the Ace mentioned below?




Bruce Wayne did own a dog, in his later years, in the Batman Beyond series. This Ace didn't wear a mask, but he helped Bruce's protege Terry McGinness on a couple of cases. Good sniffer; jaws like a bear-trap. According to one episode he saved Bruce from a thug in Crime Alley. Ace had had a hard life under an abusive master who forced dogs to fight for the amusement of crowds. >: He severely mistrusted humans--yet the two hit it off. Bruce would later claim the two saved one another.
Yes, I recall that dog actually. I really liked Batman Beyond.




Well, other than consistently referring to him as "just a pathetic guy in a rubber suit." ::)

Well in the old days, Batman was noble like Superman. I didn't make him into the twisted psychopath of current "continuity" (which actually means "lack of continuity with earlier comics.) The Batman of my day likewise wore tights, not a rubber suit. ;D

And believe that although I've called him "just a guy in a rubber suit" several times, I actually have so far called him "just a pathetic guy in a rubber suit" only once. Actually though "pathetic guy in a rubber suit" is really a metaphor for the Bat-deifiers. If you were as smart as Batman, you'd know that. ;D