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Herpestidae
2010-08-25, 09:12 PM
This is a comic representation of a story I'm writing. Technically it's a fanfic, but whatever. It takes place in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender. But you don't really need to have watched the show to completely understand my story; it's practically an entirely original cast. Basically, as the Opening Narration comic will tell you, there's four nations: Water Tribes, Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, and Air Nomads. You may notice that only one of them is called a "Nation," but it's not my world, just my characters. A population within each nation are known as "benders," who can manipulate (i.e. "bend") their respective element. (Water, earth... you get the point). And there's one guy(/girl), the Avatar who- by virtue of being the host of the spirit of the very earth itself- can bend all four elements. It's his job to keep peace, usually by threatening to fly into a supernatural rage and leave a giant crater in [INSERT PLACE HERE]. That's basically all you need to know for now; but those who are fans will certainly recognize a few names.

Oh, please note; fans of the original show: A character from the story is doing the opening narration; and he has a bit of bias. Not everything he says is necessarily true.

Intro Narration:
http://a.imageshack.us/img199/410/comicintro.png

Current Comic:
Comic 6: You Just Had to Go There.http://img852.imageshack.us/img852/4900/comic6.png
Archive:


1: Darkness in Light (http://a.imageshack.us/img844/5323/comic1.png)
2: Dwelling on the Past. (http://a.imageshack.us/img594/1795/comic2s.png)
3: He Speaks! (http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/5467/comic3.png)
4: Color Coordinated for My Convenience (http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8847/comic4.png)
5: Tea Break (http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/7939/comic5j.png)

Lord Raziere
2010-08-27, 06:20 PM
nice, I like how you deconstructed the ending, I'm interested in this, that and I'm a fan of the show.

Herpestidae
2010-08-27, 07:05 PM
Wow, this came up early. Well, here's the reason it's a "Semi-Oots Style" Comic.
Comic 1: Darkness in Light
http://a.imageshack.us/img844/5323/comic1.png

I tend to wax poetic with narration whenever I can.

Keveak
2010-08-28, 01:39 AM
Another fan of the show here, and I'm afraid I'll have to be negative (don't hate me :smallfrown:)

I just can't see how that introduction makes any amount of sense.

Intermarriage can't possibly be a new thing at Aang's time, for starters, he and Katara are married in the aftermath of a war while there had been thousands of years (tens of them judging by the amount of dead avatars) of peace in other times.
Besides, tradition state that all newborn children of the next element are taken to the nearest shrine upon the death of an avatar so finding him/her is not that difficult (as you can't be a mixture of element due to the spiritual part of the bending heritage)

Another problem I have is the fact that the Earth Kingdom would give land to anybody (they are known to be unmovable and stubborn) and that the water tribes would ever ask about land (They live n their own element, what more could they want?)

It simply messes too much with every message of the show and the fact that in the Avatar world progress is bad

That was my biggest problems with it, hope I don't come of as too whiny :smallfrown:

Herpestidae
2010-08-28, 11:23 AM
Well, in order:

Intermarriage can't possibly be a new thing at Aang's time, for starters, he and Katara are married in the aftermath of a war while there had been thousands of years (tens of them judging by the amount of dead avatars) of peace in other times.

Sure, intermarriage was always around, but the post-war stuff started what was an explosion of intermarriage compared to the norm. This was the Avatar that stopped one of the longest wars in history, and his influence caused intermarriage, which was being kept "hushed up," to become more mainstream.

Besides, tradition state that all newborn children of the next element are taken to the nearest shrine upon the death of an avatar so finding him/her is not that difficult (as you can't be a mixture of element due to the spiritual part of the bending heritage)

It probably worked that way for about the next two Avatars. Of course you can't be a mixture of an element, but who your parents are affects what element you can bend, doesn't it? Example here: Bai Mao (The main character)'s father was Fire Nation, but his mother (And practically his entire community) was the brand of heard-hearted, no-nonsense, stuck-in-their-old-ways Earth Kingdom types. They wouldn't exactly be gleefully admitting that they've got a firebender in their family, would they? Besides that, how are you supposed to know what bender your kid is when they're newborn? Firebenders probably get off easier when they're awake at sunrise and fall off at sunset, and an airbender sneeze would set off a few bells, but for waterbenders and earthbenders, you'd have to wait for them to actually do it. Furthermore, it probably takes a while to find out that the Avatar has died, then for the word to spread, then for them to figure out the approximate time the Avatar died, then collect all the kids that were born during that time who could be the Avatar. Then travel through all the temples in the world looking for the right kid. And that's not including the guys who aren't bringing their kids to the temple out of national pride or something like that.

Another problem I have is the fact that the Earth Kingdom would give land to anybody (they are known to be unmovable and stubborn) and that the water tribes would ever ask about land (They live n their own element, what more could they want?)

The Earth Kingdom is actually more of a confederacy of Kingdoms, Villages, and Tribes, with most of the villages and smaller tribes falling under the banner of the nearest Kingdom (Omashu, for example, was called a city, but actually had a king. It can't be the only one)... or something like that. The entire Earth Kingdom probably wouldn't agree to giving away land, but a few level-headed rulers who decide to make sacrifices for the sake of continued peace probably would. And those citizens, such as Bai Mao's kin, felt that those "other people" are violating their boundaries, which led to the Nationalism, then to the Racism... yeah. Also, you need to remember that the character that's narrating has no real knowledge of History or Geography, and so things may not have gone on exactly as he said (for all we know, the rulers were in a land-giving-away mood, and thought that the Water Tribes were being left out), neither should the map be taken literally as I he drew it.

It simply messes too much with every message of the show and the fact that in the Avatar world progress is bad

Once again, don't take everything at face value. The guy narrating is mostly uneducated. He generally knows what happened and just filled in the blanks himself. It's just important because a lot of the people in the world believe the same things. It doesn't mean that it's the right thing, it's just what people choose to believe.

Lord Raziere
2010-08-28, 12:29 PM
good Herpest, you know the value of unreliable narrators, it sad really that most writers overlook them, they can lead to a lot of humor and can explain any inconsistencies when they rise up

Keveak
2010-08-28, 01:06 PM
Sure, intermarriage was always around, but the post-war stuff started what was an explosion of intermarriage compared to the norm. This was the Avatar that stopped one of the longest wars in history, and his influence caused intermarriage, which was being kept "hushed up," to become more mainstream.

Hushed up? The series show no one hushing up anything, at all.

The big reason that it was not very prominent seemed to be that people didn't really travel all that much and that personality and element are connected (More a cause of upbringing than anything else, though)

I can accept that the war and Kataang changed that for a few centuries, though :smallsmile:



It probably worked that way for about the next two Avatars. Of course you can't be a mixture of an element, but who your parents are affects what element you can bend, doesn't it? Example here: Bai Mao (The main character)'s father was Fire Nation, but his mother (And practically his entire community) was the brand of heard-hearted, no-nonsense, stuck-in-their-old-ways Earth Kingdom types. They wouldn't exactly be gleefully admitting that they've got a firebender in their family, would they? Besides that, how are you supposed to know what bender your kid is when they're newborn? Firebenders probably get off easier when they're awake at sunrise and fall off at sunset, and an airbender sneeze would set off a few bells, but for waterbenders and earthbenders, you'd have to wait for them to actually do it. Furthermore, it probably takes a while to find out that the Avatar has died, then for the word to spread, then for them to figure out the approximate time the Avatar died, then collect all the kids that were born during that time who could be the Avatar. Then travel through all the temples in the world looking for the right kid. And that's not including the guys who aren't bringing their kids to the temple out of national pride or something like that.

First I will have to say that I believe I was mistaken beforehand, while your ancestry plays a hand in what element you belong to it is not absolute.

The most widely accepted theory is that you need both upbringing (or genetics) and the right personality. IE: Ty Lee weren't a firebender because her personality matches that of an Airbender instead of a Firebender, had she been raised in an air temple or been the result of intermarriage she might have been an Airbender but she was not. Unfortunately :smallfrown::smalltongue:

Earthbenders would admit that, the war was centuries ago. You don't see Kyoshi citizens discriminating against inland people, do you? (I think the creators put Kyoshi to have lived 700 years prior to Aang) :smalltongue:

Aang alerted everyone to him being back in less than a day, the temples can presumably do similar stuff related to his birth and death.

Also, about them looking through every temple:

You do realise that every temple have it's own sages to do this, right?

They could just send out messages to people that they should get their kids to the temples just in case he/she was the avatar :smallsmile:



The Earth Kingdom is actually more of a confederacy of Kingdoms, Villages, and Tribes, with most of the villages and smaller tribes falling under the banner of the nearest Kingdom (Omashu, for example, was called a city, but actually had a king. It can't be the only one)... or something like that. The entire Earth Kingdom probably wouldn't agree to giving away land, but a few level-headed rulers who decide to make sacrifices for the sake of continued peace probably would. And those citizens, such as Bai Mao's kin, felt that those "other people" are violating their boundaries, which led to the Nationalism, then to the Racism... yeah. Also, you need to remember that the character that's narrating has no real knowledge of History or Geography, and so things may not have gone on exactly as he said (for all we know, the rulers were in a land-giving-away mood, and thought that the Water Tribes were being left out), neither should the map be taken literally as I he drew it.

They still answer to the Earth King, I presume. He have a special title and all :smalltongue:

I don't think they would be racist just because their rulers did that. The original series didn't even have racism between opposing factions of a hundred year old war

But I see that some might blame the outsiders after centuries, I just don't like the idea of everybody doing it.

Though, having it be a sort of movement with power enough that those who disagree generally keep their mouths shut would be a nice compromise,don't you think? :smallsmile:

I apologise that I didn't realise the narrator might be unreliable, the show had a really reliable one :smallredface:



Once again, don't take everything at face value. The guy narrating is mostly uneducated. He generally knows what happened and just filled in the blanks himself. It's just important because a lot of the people in the world believe the same things. It doesn't mean that it's the right thing, it's just what people choose to believe.

I see, clouding the backstory in mystery and ignorance is pretty clever of you.

I again apologise for not seeing it but maybe there should be something that indicate this in the comics, no? Like an old guy claiming he know better or an argument about a detail (Like whether the water tribes invaded or was given land for justice to everybody, neither or both might be close to the truth but it explains that they don't know for sure)

Remember, this is all for criticism and improvement. I do not wish to ruin your story but i also wish it to be as good as possible :smallsmile:

Stabber
2010-08-28, 03:00 PM
This sounds suppsiciously liek a certian TV show involving flying buffalo........-:smalleek:
The stab.

Lord Raziere
2010-08-28, 03:25 PM
wait a minute.......:smallconfused:

I think I heard somewhere that bending is more cultural than genetic, which is why those remaining air nomad guys that survived the fire nations purging of the air nomads will be able to bend again because of cultural stuff.

Keveak
2010-08-28, 03:33 PM
wait a minute.......:smallconfused:

I think I heard somewhere that bending is more cultural than genetic, which is why those remaining air nomad guys that survived the fire nations purging of the air nomads will be able to bend again because of cultural stuff.

What guys?

Aang survived because of Avatar state-induced cryogenics for a hundred years. The others all died, even that guy.

People have been discussing whether it's cultural/spiritual because if it's not then Aang's children will be the only hope of rebuilding the Air nomads (which might take centuries) if it's possible at all.

The series and it's creators haven't mentioned it so it will never be more than guessing until they decide to elaborate or start their next series which may or may not explain it.

EDIT:


This sounds suppsiciously liek a certian TV show involving flying buffalo........-:smalleek:
The stab.

He specified that it takes place in the same world and is technically a fan fic.

If it didn't sound like Avatar then he would be doing a pretty bad job :smalltongue:

Lord Raziere
2010-08-28, 03:39 PM
What guys?

Aang survived because of Avatar state-induced cryogenics for a hundred years. The others all died, even that guy.

People have been discussing whether it's cultural/spiritual because if it's not then Aang's children will be the only hope of rebuilding the Air nomads (which might take centuries) if it's possible at all.

The series and it's creators haven't mentioned it so it will never be more than guessing until they decide to elaborate or start their next series which may or may not explain it.

y'know.....northern air temple? or was it western? or eastern? or southern? anyways it was one of the temples, but there were survivors, just not bending yet survivors, It think its largely cultural/personality than genetic, Sokka was born from the same mother yet he had no bending at all.

thing is we don't have enough info to be sure.

Herpestidae
2010-08-28, 03:47 PM
y'know.....northern air temple? or was it western? or eastern? or southern? anyways it was one of the temples, but there were survivors, just not bending yet survivors, It think its largely cultural/personality than genetic, Sokka was born from the same mother yet he had no bending at all.

Those guys were refugees who found the Temple and decided it was the best place to live, on account of being already built. Unless you were talking about Pathik, who was a "spiritual brother" of the Air Nomads, whatever that could mean.

As for the bending thing, the capacity to be a bender is not genetic, only the element you'd be able to bend, if any. Two "pure-blooded" Water Tribesmen won't have an Earthbender for a kid, if the kid is a bender at all, but that doesn't mean that two waterbenders are automatically going to have a waterbender for a kid, or that two non-benders are never going to have a bending child.

Keveak
2010-08-28, 04:35 PM
Those guys were refugees who found the Temple and decided it was the best place to live, on account of being already built. Unless you were talking about Pathik, who was a "spiritual brother" of the Air Nomads, whatever that could mean.

As for the bending thing, the capacity to be a bender is not genetic, only the element you'd be able to bend, if any. Two "pure-blooded" Water Tribesmen won't have an Earthbender for a kid, if the kid is a bender at all, but that doesn't mean that two waterbenders are automatically going to have a waterbender for a kid, or that two non-benders are never going to have a bending child.

Some say it is possible, it just won't happen unless the child is brought up among Earth benders and gains the personality of one (Thus essentially being one in all but genes)

This would also explain where the Air Nomads come from (They don't seem to know their parents) and why the Water benders in the swamp are light skinned while the polar Water benders are not.

Others say you have to have genetics and that the air nomads are children of the older generation if them despite the fact that they don't act like it.

As I said, it's never specified in the show so we can't actually be sure.

But that just mean we can make our own interpretations :smallsmile:

Herpestidae
2010-08-28, 07:23 PM
Alright, I've got the next comic scripted out, should be up by Monday. But there's some concerns about how I'll be drawing it. I want my characters to have Eye colors. But it usually ends up looking weird when combined with the facial expressions as seen in Oots. Furthermore, it would be too time-consuming for me to come up with expressions in my own style without channeling the Uncanny Valley. So I need your input here:

The top row of images is how I've designed the eyes to look.
The second row is the Oots-style eyes with the intended colors.
The third is Oots-style eyes with a lighter version of the intended colors.

http://a.imageshack.us/img829/6603/headsp.png

Falgorn
2010-08-28, 07:34 PM
Hm, not so sure about the comic, but one issue isn't enough to judge. I have to say - I like the bottom row the most for the guy on the left, and the second row for the girl (?) on the right. I know you're not using them, but...just thought I should make a suggestion.

Keveak
2010-08-29, 09:40 AM
Hm, not so sure about the comic, but one issue isn't enough to judge. I have to say - I like the bottom row the most for the guy on the left, and the second row for the girl (?) on the right. I know you're not using them, but...just thought I should make a suggestion.

I say the same.

The third row's green eyes look too neon green to be natural, in my opinion.

Both the third ad second row look very nice anyway, though :smallsmile:

But the first will haunt my nightmares :smalleek:

Herpestidae
2010-08-29, 08:50 PM
Few things before I get to the comic:
1: They're not all going to be in the "One panel with narration" format. Actual conversations and fight scenes will be multi-paneled.
2:I'm trying my best not to make them so gosh-darned huge. I am failing because I'm trying to make the text readable.
3: This comic was made on the assumption that Ba Sing Se has not been renamed Republic City. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see Here (http://avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Avatar:_Legend_of_Korra)). In any case, if it has, well, this is a fanfic, so These things happen.
4: That's supposed to be a painting on the wall, but I couldn't make it look that way in Photoshop without changing the picture beyond recognition. Just roll with it.

Comic 2: Dwelling on the Past.
http://a.imageshack.us/img594/1795/comic2s.png

Keveak
2010-08-30, 09:27 AM
Few things before I get to the comic:
1: They're not all going to be in the "One panel with narration" format. Actual conversations and fight scenes will be multi-paneled.
2:I'm trying my best not to make them so gosh-darned huge. I am failing because I'm trying to make the text readable.
3: This comic was made on the assumption that Ba Sing Se has not been renamed Republic City. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see Here (http://avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Avatar:_Legend_of_Korra)). In any case, if it has, well, this is a fanfic, so These things happen.
4: That's supposed to be a painting on the wall, but I couldn't make it look that way in Photoshop without changing the picture beyond recognition. Just roll with it.

Comic 2: Dwelling on the Past.
-snip-

1: We don't ind one panel comics, makes the story more mysterious :smallsmile:
2: I would suggest drawing a smaller part of the room and also note that you can shrink the text at least a couple of sizes without any of us having problems reading it, it's far bigger than the text we use for our posts and we can read those just fine.
3: I knew they were making a new series, thanks for the link :smallbiggrin:
Which I will now avoid reading as to not spoil it :smalltongue:
4: I would try with a coloured outline to denote the paint but that's just an idea.

:smallsmile:

Herpestidae
2010-09-04, 05:15 PM
Anyone notice the lag in updates? That's because I really don't know what to do next. I have a sort of slice-of-life plot going on before Cerebus decides to rear his ugly head and introduce the plot. And since the one-panel comics are mostly worldbuild/character stuff anyway, I've decided to ask the reader: What do you want to be explained next? I could likely work a segue in about what Ba Sing Se is like now, or I could go on about something about the Bai Mao/Rieji dynamic, or just something about Bai Mao in general (not his tattoos, though. I'll explain what they signify later on).

Falgorn
2010-09-04, 06:01 PM
Few things before I get to the comic:
1: They're not all going to be in the "One panel with narration" format. Actual conversations and fight scenes will be multi-paneled.
2:I'm trying my best not to make them so gosh-darned huge. I am failing because I'm trying to make the text readable.
3: This comic was made on the assumption that Ba Sing Se has not been renamed Republic City. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see Here (http://avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Avatar:_Legend_of_Korra)). In any case, if it has, well, this is a fanfic, so These things happen.
4: That's supposed to be a painting on the wall, but I couldn't make it look that way in Photoshop without changing the picture beyond recognition. Just roll with it.

Comic 2: Dwelling on the Past.
[SPOILER]Snip[SPOILER]

1.) Yeah, I'd like to see more than one panel, with the character actually moving.

2.) You cold try making the text a size 22, which is what I used when I made comics. But the sheer size for a one-panel comic is a bit too much.

3.) I wasn't a mega-fan of the show, as in I never really researched the backstory and such, and only watched it when I saw it, and never really went out of the way to see it. (Which means: I don't care how true to canon it is).

4.) Try importing the pictures onto the comic before out put it on Photobucket.

About the lag, it's fine. Comics have lag, just plan it out, and don't rush. But as for my vote, I want to know what Ba Sing Se is like now.

Herpestidae
2010-09-29, 01:18 PM
Hey guys, guess what? I accidentally deleted half of my Inkscape files! The templates for everything, The old comics, the world map? All gone! Luckily, I still have a random autosave of an early stage of the third comic, Comic 3, but I just have to re-draw all of the characters from scratch. Isn't that wonderful?

So you don't get too much shock at how radically different the comic may turn out, I'll be putting up the new character designs as I draw them. So: without further ado, I present to you, the new and improved Bai Mao:

http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/3652/baimao.png

Herpestidae
2010-10-05, 08:11 PM
Comic is on the way. Just drawin' up some pics to go with the narration.
In the meantime, enjoy this expression that I found really creepy for some reason.

http://oi53.tinypic.com/w1cqab.jpg

Herpestidae
2010-10-21, 11:30 PM
What's this? An Update? More than one panel? With a New Font? And actual speech? Madness!!!
Until I somehow get access to Photoshop, expect all fire to look something like what you see before you.
Comic 3: He Speaks!
http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/5467/comic3.png

Keveak
2010-10-22, 02:43 AM
Oh no! The angry mob of Generic attacks again! :smalltongue:

Herpestidae
2010-10-25, 06:53 PM
Comic 4: Color-Coordinated for my Convenience.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8847/comic4.png

Dusk Eclipse
2010-10-27, 05:37 PM
At a glance it seems interesting, but as it only have 4 (5 if you count the into) comics so far I am goin to wait to comment.

Still I have a hunch this will be good.

Good luck, and I am subscribing

blackjack217
2010-10-29, 03:20 PM
As a piece of advice, update your first post If people see you saying the current comic is comic 1 they are likely to miss the rest. Also it makes it a much easier read for everyone else to have them all in one place rather than having to hunt through the thred

Herpestidae
2010-11-01, 09:16 PM
Midterm week. Comic will be slow. But worry not, for I come bearing character designs!
http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/5417/shaonu.png

You're free to gush over it. It helps with motivation.

EDIT: two more designs.

Keveak
2010-11-02, 11:40 AM
Midterm week. Comic will be slow. But worry not, for I come bearing character designs!
http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/5417/shaonu.png

You're free to gush over it. It helps with motivation.

EDIT: two more designs.

Just some art critisism first: The upper line on the pants of Shaonu should probably be bend downward like the shirt, it kinda looks like she's pregnant with it bend upward. Might just be me, though :smallsmile:

Meanie art critisism aside, I really like her hat :smallbiggrin:

Herpestidae
2011-01-27, 06:27 PM
Comic 5: Tea Break
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/7939/comic5j.png

Herpestidae
2011-04-27, 08:43 PM
*blows dust off of thread*

Comic 6: You Just Had to Go There.http://i1210.photobucket.com/albums/cc411/Herpestidae/Comic6.png?t=1303957049

1: Sorry about the Blurry. Imageshack is being a putz.
2: Bending doesn't really show that Aura In-Universe; It's just a thing with the art so you can tell what's going on.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-04-27, 08:55 PM
Just some art critisism first: The upper line on the pants of Shaonu should probably be bend downward like the shirt, it kinda looks like she's pregnant with it bend upward. Might just be me, though :smallsmile:

It's not just you. She does look pregnant.

Herpestidae
2011-04-28, 09:33 PM
It's not just you. She does look pregnant.

Trust me, it's a surprise she isn't pregnant yet.

Traker
2011-04-29, 09:55 AM
Trust me, it's a surprise she isn't pregnant yet.

Yet?!? :smalleek:

Edit: sorry I misunderstood what you where saying.

Herpestidae
2011-04-29, 10:11 AM
Yet?!? :smalleek:

Edit: sorry I misunderstood what you where saying.

At this point in time, she's been "active" enough that she should have a ton of kids running around. (She's married; see the background of the last big panel. They're like that at every possible opportunity).