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View Full Version : Callos' Creative Clunkers: Calling Criticism



Callos_DeTerran
2010-09-05, 12:55 PM
Alright, alliteration aside, I've started fooling around in Inkscape in earnest lately, mostly out of boredom. So, I figure if I'm going to be doing this more often, then I should get some more...professional criticism so I can improve my skills. To that end I decided to put up my first ACTUAL picture (not just a character or three) and any other ones I end up doing for criticism. I may take requests from other people, because while I want to do this more often, I myself am lacking inspiration for what to doodle. So why not do up the inspiration of other people if I like it?

Anyway, I've procrastinated long enough! Unto the picture!

Warning: Page Stretcher
http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/4643/emem4.png
Caption: "We who are about to die, have every reason to take you with us."
Character: Emem ("Peaceful), Amazon Gladiator. She was taken by Argossian slavers when she was still young, along with several others of her kind, to be sold for various unwholesome purposes. Stubborn and unyielding, Emem and her fellows didn't break before the lash and instead plotted to throw off their chains and slay the men who had captured them. The attempt failed, and resulted in the death of each of her sisters to leave Emem by herself. Once back in port, the story of her rebellion spread quickly among those who trained gladiators and they all but chomped at the bit to purchase her off the block. Now she fits in the arenas, disdainfully ending the lives of other gladiators while plotting her next escape attempt... ((It's more thought out in my head, this is just a brief description.))
Setting: Conan the Barbarian

Samurai Jill
2010-09-11, 04:54 PM
Small picture good. Big picture double-plus-ungood. Use URL link. My internet sucks.

Savannah
2010-09-14, 02:33 AM
First off, when your picture is that big, we can't see it properly. I had to save the picture and open it on my computer in order to see it well enough to comment. Overall, it's pretty good, but I noticed a couple of things that you might want to change. Here's a (resized) picture with notes, because I couldn't figure out a way to describe a couple of them, so it was easier to just add comments :smallwink:

http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/4781/commentsq.png

Callos_DeTerran
2010-09-14, 03:56 PM
First off, when your picture is that big, we can't see it properly. I had to save the picture and open it on my computer in order to see it well enough to comment. Overall, it's pretty good, but I noticed a couple of things that you might want to change. Here's a (resized) picture with notes, because I couldn't figure out a way to describe a couple of them, so it was easier to just add comments :smallwink:

http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/4781/commentsq.png

Thanks for the comments Savannah, as for your concerns...

Link to updated picture (http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/4643/emem4.png)

I have trouble getting arms the right length, so usually I tend toward shorter then longer.

Added more cracks but unsure about placement or number of them. The 'starburst' one is supposed to be meant as where someone got their head slammed into the wall, but giving it decent shading/depth has proved problematic. May remove that one entirely

That's actually somewhat intentional. Gladiators of that sort were rubbed down with animal fat to make them glisten. Kinda like how the Giant just recently joked about gladiators being required to slather on baby oil all the time.

Hopefully have fixed that shadow.

Yeah, it's supposed to be somewhat dried blood but it's difficult to get right.

Savannah
2010-09-14, 04:03 PM
I like the new starburst crack, but you may want to put it higher and a bit bigger. Looking at her head, the crack seems to be too low and small for someone her size to have been slammed into the wall.

Sneak
2010-09-14, 04:39 PM
A few other things:

-I get what you were trying to do with the glistening gladiator look, but it's just not working out. I really couldn't tell that that was shading (the fact that the color you picked for the shading looks like the same swatch that you used for the wall behind her, making it look like she has a hole in her head and stomach, probably isn't helping)...and anyway, that just brings up the question, why do that shading if you're not going to do any other shading on her body?

-I would get rid of the starburst crack, personally. It's not that there's anything wrong with it, but I feel it's distracting and takes focus away from the gladiator, especially due to its proximity to her.

-Thicken up the outlines on the axe. Also, rotate it a bit so she's not holding it straight outólooks unnatural to me.

-You should probably thicken up all the outlines on her body a tad as well, actually.

-I get what you were trying to do with her grip on the axe (two fingers over, one finger under), and it's probably technically a more accurate representation of what's going on, but it looks kinda weird. In OOTS style, all three fingers generally go over the object.

Not bad, though. Not bad at all. Especially for an early attempt.

EDIT: And if you did your current avatar yourself, as I suspect you did, I like that one a lot.

Callos_DeTerran
2010-09-14, 05:21 PM
EDIT: And if you did your current avatar yourself, as I suspect you did, I like that one a lot.

Yes and no. Shades did most of it, but I added a couple things myself, adjusted the pose, and made it avatar size. I've done other pictures of that character since then, but that's still my favorite so far.

Domochevsky
2010-09-14, 07:50 PM
Hum, not good at describing things, so i'll try to show: :smallsmile:


http://www.nudecreator.org/Domochevsky/emem4b.png


The blood gets partially soaked up by the sand, so you need to kinda account for that.

Callos_DeTerran
2010-09-14, 09:54 PM
Holy...damn. o.o :smalleek: I'm utterly shamed at doing my own picture. xD

Maximum Zersk
2010-09-14, 09:56 PM
Hey, you tried. Now you can try better, and it'll be better, right?