View Full Version : I wrote a thing.

2010-09-06, 10:36 AM
It is my thing, and I wrote it.

Someone was looking for help with a character personality, so I thought I'd try out my Character Cheat Sheet, and then I got kinda inspired. So here 'tis, cuz it's the first creative thing I've written in... years, probably, and I'm reasonably pleased with how it turned out.

Jon Wei was just one of his master's dozen or so Samurai. His parents had put him in the order when he could barely even walk, and he had been bound to his master ever since. He was a little cruel - his jokes tended to be quite mean-spirited - but he was slow to anger and devoted to his cause.
One day, he was riding along a mountain stream on an errand for his master. Coming around a corner, he saw a lithe-bodied woman bent over picking herbs by the side of the road. Unable to resist the bobbing orb, he rode up behind her and gave her a great smack on the end. She straightened up in shock, revealing, not a lovely maiden, but a horrible hag. She gave a screech and a wave, and his horse reared up, jumped back, and then came down in the river, the rider trapped underneath.
The horse twisted its neck as it landed, and Jon Wei struggled to gasp at air while he tore desperately at the stirrups. He was catapaulted downstream, through the rapids. At some point he heard a crack and then he couldn't move his shoulder properly, but there was another crack at his head before the pain could set in. He had flashes of light and shadow in his eyes, when a toothy maw clamped down firmly but gently on his arm.
The rescuer, a young Winter Wolf, dragged him to the shore. Once he was safe there, the Wolf gave a long, low howl. A few minutes later, a wild young woman emerged from the trees. Her clothes were all hand-made from materials straight from the woods, and her jewels were bones, teeth and interesting nuts. Her eyes were big almonds, her skin pleasantly bronzed, and her ears tapered elegantly up the sides of her head. She caressed her Wolf, and gave him a kiss on the nose, before looking over the Samurai. She spoke in words he didn't understand, then heaved him with surprising strength onto the back of the Wolf.
She took him into her home - a small, dry cave by a billabong - and treated his wounds. He remained there, healing, through the end of the summer until the end of winter. His head wound was infected and threatened to turn into a nasty fever, but she nursed him through it. At some point she went out with the Wolf, and returned with fresh horse meat and hide - the horse washed up to shore not far from where Jon was rescued.
Over the months, Jon learnt some of her tongue and the ways of the natural world. He taught her his own language, and some weaponry skills. As the first daffodils poked their heads through the melting snow, he was well enough for them to make love for the first time.
Unfortunately, by that point, the tug of his honour had become irresistible. It was too late for his errand, but he was still in his master's service. The Wolf went with him, as a substitute until he could find a new horse.
The journey home was uneventful, but the moment he stepped into civilised lands he realised it no longer was his home. He was in his master's service again for only a few weeks until he approached him to be released from his services. He had served him faithfully for a full twenty years - the required amount was only 15. The master argued, threatened, pleaded, offered greater rewards - no Samurai had ever left his service so long as he still lived, and this was a record of which he was proud - but to no avail. Jon Wei had a new home, and a new duty - a child on the way. Eventually the master relented, and let him go with his blessings.
Jon Wei returned to his rescuer with the Wolf, and they lived happily for several months. He built around the cave, forming a cosy home with several small rooms. She caught and trained beautiful birds, and when they needed money, Jon would take some to town to sell as pets. One of his favourite things was to sit in the sun with her, and watch as she lured down the birds, one crumb at a time, to tame them and teach them beautiful tricks.
The woman was getting heavy enough to prevent her from walking as easy as she used to, and Jon Wei could tell it was time to start preparing for the baby. He took a few of the prettiest birds and set off with the Wolf to sell them. When he came home the next day, he could not stop throwing up for an hour. Someone had done unspeakable things to his love, before dismembering her and scattering the parts about their home. Her stomach held pride of place, before the doorway.
The next days were a blur for Jon. He threw up, he cried until he was dry, he screamed, he begged, he cradled his love's head. If it weren't that the Wolf forced him to eat the raw meat it caught, he would have died. Finally, one day, as the warm sun beat down on his face and a pretty little bird poked around his fingers for crumbs, he opened his eyes, and they were clear and dry. He did not look around at his defiled home. He just told the Wolf: "Seek." And they hunted.
They found every person who had been there that day. They hunted them down. They killed them in their sleep, or in single combat. They killed their wives as they begged for the lives of their children, and then they slaughtered them. Jon Wei stared into the eyes of every one, as the Wolf tore them apart as their menfolk had done to his love.
Eventually, there was only one man left. This man had no family. Jon Wei was oddly disappointed. This man did not beg. At least, not until the Wolf had torn off his arm. Then, he screamed. But before he did that, he told Jon: it had not been a random attack. No samurai had ever left the master's service, not while they breathed. It was an insult that could not stand.
And so Jon Wei and his Wolf hunt.

Hyoumu Yau
2010-09-06, 11:57 AM
When he came home the next day, he could not stop throwing up

I think you forgot the "stop".
Good, although very brutal. :smalleek:
The concept of "all was good before his love was killed whereafter vengeance followed" reminds me of Samurai X (if the name is correct, watched it years ago ), even if it was different there.

2010-09-06, 11:35 PM
Yeah, I did. I noticed that, but then I forgot to edit it before posting it here... May as well do it now, eh? Might get rid of that "character background" bit while I'm at it.

2010-09-06, 11:49 PM
I liked it, well written. I just have one question, if she was so close to giving birth, what happened to the kid? It would technically survive being cut out of her at that point unless the blade hit it when they cut her belly off.

2010-09-07, 12:08 AM
Not quite that close - maybe, say, 6 months? Late enough that it could have survived, but early enough that it would need very fast, specialist medical assistance to do so.
Maybe it did!

Dun dun dunnnnnn.