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View Full Version : So.... Billionaire ninjas?



TSGames
2010-09-22, 10:49 PM
I didn't see anyone post about this. So I thought I would drop it off here. Apparently, ninjas come in all variety of income levels.

Enjoy (http://blogs.forbes.com/jasonturbow/2010/09/20/steve-jobs-badass-ceo-ninja-or-not/).

Helanna
2010-09-22, 10:53 PM
Well of course Apple would refute the story.

A great ninja is never revealed to the public.

Copacetic
2010-09-22, 10:55 PM
Obviously not a ninja. A ninja wouldn't get caught with them. :smallcool:

Dr.Epic
2010-09-22, 11:30 PM
He's not a very good ninja, but Billionaire Ninjas would make a great reality show and/or sitcom. I can see the rating now, or I could if they weren't ninjas.

rakkoon
2010-09-23, 03:45 AM
A link (http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/94007?fp=1) would be in order. I played with shurikens when I was 10, sadly this did not make me a ninja.

Thajocoth
2010-09-23, 04:40 AM
You'd think if someone was going to bring shirukens on a plane that they'd craft them from something non-metalic... Apple has a lot of access to clear hard plastic, though glass is a better option. ...So I'm gonna say it never happened.

Dr.Epic
2010-09-23, 04:52 AM
You'd think if someone was going to bring shirukens on a plane that they'd craft them from something non-metalic... Apple has a lot of access to clear hard plastic, though glass is a better option. ...So I'm gonna say it never happened.

Glass would be more fragile meaning they'd be easier to break and would most likely have to be replaced more often.

Flickerdart
2010-09-23, 06:47 AM
Glass would be more fragile meaning they'd be easier to break and would most likely have to be replaced more often.
How often do you go back to retrieve your shuriken out of the dead bodies, while the not-yet-dead bodies are still chasing you? The survivability of a thrown shuriken doesn't really matter - plus, if they shatter on impact against the wall, any potential misses self-destruct to hide your shame.

Killer Angel
2010-09-23, 07:00 AM
Glass would be more fragile meaning they'd be easier to break and would most likely have to be replaced more often.

A shuriken that breaks into enemies' bodies with glass fragments? sweet...

rakkoon
2010-09-23, 07:11 AM
Cluster shurikens, you know you want them...

Mercenary Pen
2010-09-23, 08:00 AM
We could go even better I reckon... Shuriken grenades... just add a small amount of explosves inside your hypothetical glass shuriken, and you can add some real shrapnel damage...

Zen Monkey
2010-09-23, 09:31 AM
Isn't 'billionaire ninja' essentially a summary of the Batman comics/films/etc?

Telonius
2010-09-23, 09:34 AM
Isn't 'billionaire ninja' essentially a summary of the Batman comics/films/etc?

Yeah, that was my thought. Come to think of it, I've never seen Steve Jobs and Batman in the same room together...

Thajocoth
2010-09-23, 10:00 AM
Glass would be more fragile meaning they'd be easier to break and would most likely have to be replaced more often.

1 shiruken = 1 throw. Retrieval is both risky and unnecessary. They'd need to be replaced exactly as often.

The only downside is that you can't throw them to tack a note to a wall or tree... But that's more of an "arrow" thing anyway.


Yeah, that was my thought. Come to think of it, I've never seen Steve Jobs and Batman in the same room together...

iRon Man suits him better.

Pyrian
2010-09-23, 10:21 AM
Hmm. My question with non-metallic shuriken is whether they would be dense enough to have any significant penetration power.

comicshorse
2010-09-23, 11:09 AM
Weren't Shuriken meant to be a method for inserting posion into your opponents ? Penetration isn't really much of a problem then

Pyrian
2010-09-23, 11:11 AM
It is in winter. :smalltongue:

Eldan
2010-09-23, 11:14 AM
iRon Man suits him better.

Would he be all in white plastic and chrome?

TSGames
2010-09-23, 02:49 PM
Would he be all in white plastic and chrome?

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/4/2010/01/iron-man-macbook-decal.jpg

AtlanteanTroll
2010-09-23, 02:50 PM
I thought this was about Bruce Wayne.

SurlySeraph
2010-09-23, 06:33 PM
Yeah, that was my thought. Come to think of it, I've never seen Steve Jobs and Batman in the same room together...

Impossible. Everyone knows that Christian Bale is Batman. Given his love of computers and dislike of Flash, I suspect Steve Jobs is The Thinker. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinker_%28DC_Comics%29)


Hmm. My question with non-metallic shuriken is whether they would be dense enough to have any significant penetration power.

Anything can penetrate if it's sharp enough, it's just a matter of how deep. Glass or modern ceramics would probably work OK.


Weren't Shuriken meant to be a method for inserting posion into your opponents ? Penetration isn't really much of a problem then

I thought they were mainly meant for distracting opponents - "Gah! He threw a shiny thing at me!" - so you could run away. But poison's viable, I guess.

tcrudisi
2010-09-23, 08:08 PM
Yeah, that was my thought. Come to think of it, I've never seen Steve Jobs and Batman in the same room together...

Come to think of it, I've never seen Steve Jobs... He must be a real ninja! :smallcool:

Shas aia Toriia
2010-09-23, 08:42 PM
I suppose awesome is really the only way to describe this, even if I'm not a huge fan of Apple.

Pyrian
2010-09-23, 09:07 PM
I thought they were mainly meant for distracting opponents - "Gah! He threw a shiny thing at me!" - so you could run away. But poison's viable, I guess.You don't have to actually poison all of them, you just have to have a reputation for poisoning them. :smallbiggrin:

Dr.Epic
2010-09-23, 09:16 PM
How often do you go back to retrieve your shuriken out of the dead bodies, while the not-yet-dead bodies are still chasing you? The survivability of a thrown shuriken doesn't really matter - plus, if they shatter on impact against the wall, any potential misses self-destruct to hide your shame.

You could retrieve one when all the enemies are dead. And that's not my point. I'm saying glass is fragile and they could break before you even get the chance to throw them.

Thajocoth
2010-09-23, 11:26 PM
You could retrieve one when all the enemies are dead. And that's not my point. I'm saying glass is fragile and they could break before you even get the chance to throw them.

There is no limit to enemies. Once you've struck, you need to flee the scene before police arrive.

It depends on the thickness of the glass. Diamond, honestly, is ideal... But very expensive. Stone could possibly work too...

VeisuItaTyhjyys
2010-09-24, 12:40 AM
Which of the Steve's parked his Benz in handicapped spaces at the Apple garage, when he didn't have/need a placard? That one was definitely a ninja.

rakkoon
2010-09-24, 01:47 AM
Special rule; if you have diamand shurikens, DON'T THROW THEM.
Sell them, get bodyguards and two blondes for the money. They can be blond bodyguards if you're into that kind of thing.

Shurikens were also used as a distraction. Wearing black, running in a forest and throwing sharp objects at your pursueer gave you an advantage :smallsmile:

Killer Angel
2010-09-24, 02:08 AM
Special rule; if you have diamand shurikens, DON'T THROW THEM.


unless you're a weird BBEG in a Bond film.
We need one, after the man with the golden gun. :smalltongue:

Dr.Epic
2010-09-24, 05:05 AM
There is no limit to enemies. Once you've struck, you need to flee the scene before police arrive.

Depends on the situation, depends on the mission.

Mercenary Pen
2010-09-24, 05:38 AM
There is no limit to enemies. Once you've struck, you need to flee the scene before police arrive.

It depends on the thickness of the glass. Diamond, honestly, is ideal... But very expensive. Stone could possibly work too...

Yes, I can see flint Shuriken working- though I'm not certain it holds enough of an edge... You might also try with something like sandstone in the hope that it'd break down for instant sand in the eyes of your pursuers.

dehro
2010-09-24, 07:22 AM
I believe steve jobs would be able to replace his shuriken as often as he wanted.... it's not like he lacks funds

TSGames
2010-09-24, 01:07 PM
I believe steve jobs would be able to replace his shuriken as often as he wanted.... it's not like he lacks funds

I could see it now....Introducing the "iShuriken". The 8 gig version costs $40 more...
[EDIT]
I don't think it would take much modification.

http://media.itproportal.com/images/140/Apple_Logo_2.jpg

Seffbasilisk
2010-09-24, 04:45 PM
I see him not as a ninja, but a failed smuggler.

I mean, it's not that hard to hide shuriken. Many were designed especially for this purpose. The fact that not only did he fail to keep them, fail to talk his way out of it, had to discard them, and swore never to return to Japan after his own ineptitude....

And then had his press-mongrels claim it all never happened, sloppily?

So very fail. Not ninja at all.

tcrudisi
2010-09-25, 03:14 PM
I see him not as a ninja, but a failed smuggler.

I mean, it's not that hard to hide shuriken. Many were designed especially for this purpose. The fact that not only did he fail to keep them, fail to talk his way out of it, had to discard them, and swore never to return to Japan after his own ineptitude....

And then had his press-mongrels claim it all never happened, sloppily?

So very fail. Not ninja at all.

I see him not as a fail but as the ultimate ninja.

People are now joking that he is a ninja, but really, people know that a real ninja would not have failed at any of the endeavors you mentioned, so he can't be a real ninja... unless he was doing it to convince people he wasn't a real ninja - but he really is! At which point, he executed his plan perfectly, just like a real ninja.

Killer Angel
2010-09-27, 03:05 PM
... unless he was doing it to convince people he wasn't a real ninja - but he really is! At which point, he executed his plan perfectly, just like a real ninja.

The truth is revealed.
He let those foolish guard "discover" the fake shuriken, and while they were distracted by the decoy, the real ninja weapons passed succesfully.

Mercenary Pen
2010-09-27, 05:29 PM
The truth is revealed.
He let those foolish guard "discover" the fake shuriken, and while they were distracted by the decoy, the real ninja weapons passed succesfully.

I don't agree, they just didn't mention confiscating the katana, wakizashi and hand grenades- or the garrote wire hidden under his armpit.

Killer Angel
2010-09-28, 02:54 PM
I don't agree, they just didn't mention confiscating the katana, wakizashi and hand grenades- or the garrote wire hidden under his armpit.

Really? What a shame! luckily, he's not a samurai, or he should commit seppuku... :smallwink: