Flat 101

[Irbis]

So, let's see - I live in this cozy student hotel at the place you've probably never heard about. Third floor, to be exact. At first, I wanted to change it, because my condition doesn't play well with heights, but it was the last spot, so I was forced to take it. Anyway, the situation is - each flat has five rooms, kitchen, and toilet, with each student having his own room. There are several such flats.

And, as my luck had it, a few people from a certain ethnic group (let's call them Oceanians, after 1984) choose my flat's kitchen for their dinner/supper cooking meetings during most days I was there already :smallmad: No idea why, perhaps because two of them live in the flat. Now, don't get me wrong - I have nothing against them. What I do mind, though, is some people from other flats or from who knows where walking into mine, occupying kitchen so that the legitimate inhabitants have trouble using it, polluting the air with strong smells of whatever they cook, not always cleaning everything, and generally being jerkish :smallannoyed:

So, I said I have wanted to change rooms, and their "cook" from the next flat already asked me if I don't want to, because he can't be bothered to always knock to this one :smallfurious: At first, I said there won't be a problem, as I hoped to be rid of them, and to have a kitchen I could actually use, but now, I sort of settled in the room, meet the others, and I can't help but wonder if he doesn't want to change because he has some hidden motive in which his current room is worse. Probably not, but...

Anyway, the point is, the change would give me nothing (same floor), be problematic, there's some kind of fee involved at the Admission office (which I have no intention of paying, if only because I can't spare money), and his not-constant, but still bothersome questions if we can change now, even unofficially (maybe to have this fee forced one me?) made me less and less enthused with the idea :smallannoyed:

Sigh, so, while I try to not be prejudiced, I wonder if the change has any value for me, and what these guys could do if I withdraw from the whole idea. I'm not bothered about things being stolen, as they seem to not be the type, but still, "something" might happen. Ech. And then, there's the whole issue of the kitchen.

My plan for tomorrow is to go to the office, find out about the fee and try to scare him with it, saying I won't pay anything, but they might just pool money and I have no idea what I would do/say then :smallannoyed:

Sigh, I wonder if I worry too much and if nothing will happen if I simply refuse. Still, changing room to one of the lower floors or waiting them out till December/January (assuming they're Erasmus students, not full time foreign students) would be good if it could happen instantly :smallfrown:

Or maybe I should simply report their asses to someone, which probably won't be effective at all, will alienate me somewhat, maybe even from other European students, and won't solve anything. Ech. I wonder what to do.

[Innis Cabal]

Well...ya it's annoying they come and go as they please but if they're friends with anyone that lives in your flat then...you just need to deal with it. They're allowed to have people over when they please. If they were keeping you up....I can understanding being upset. But it doesn't sound like that's the case.

On to the cooking, it's not your job to clean up after them. Move their stuff out of the way and don't clean after them. If they ask you about it tell them that. But frankly....it's not their problem you don't like the smell of what their cooking. You need to suck it up.

[Keld Denar]

If you reported them, is there any way you could do it without making it known that you're the one who reported them? Mention that you want to be kept annonymous or whatever? If they aren't supposed to be cooking in your kitchen, then it sounds like you have a semi-legitimate excuse. Having some kind of penalty placed on them might encourage them to move out at the end of the term. Just a thought.

Otherwise, just chillax. October is about 1/3 over already, and that gives you another ~2ish months until mid December when you anticpate them to be moving out. In the grand scheme of life, 2 months of discomfort isn't the end of the world. Thicken up a bit and just ignore them. Invest in foods that you don't need the kitchen to prepare, if possible.

[arguskos]

And it is reasons like this that I no longer can live with other human beings. I need my own damnable space, and can't stand people being jerkwads and breaching into my own area. Though, I gotta be honest, that's not all that bad. At my first apartment, one guy liked to wander into my room and nick my stuff every now and again. That's pretty much why I moved out. :smallsigh:

[Irbis]

Well...ya it's annoying they come and go as they please but if they're friends with anyone that lives in your flat then...you just need to deal with it.

With 2 out of 5 people with the flat. It's not 'anyone'. Hell, if we were as united as they were, we'd tell them to walk. As of now, it's singulars vs 6-7 people :smallannoyed:


They're allowed to have people over when they please. If they were keeping you up....I can understanding being upset. But it doesn't sound like that's the case.

Since when? Student hotels have strict regulations. That's why they do it late, probably, so that no wardens are around.

And no, they're not 'keeping me up', they don't allow me to use facilities I paid for already a hefty sum!


On to the cooking, it's not your job to clean up after them. Move their stuff out of the way and don't clean after them. If they ask you about it tell them that.

Geee, guess who will pay a fine for food hazard danger or kitchen renovation if any inspection comes around at this rate? That's right, not mysterious Oceanians from other flats, but people who live in this one! :smallmad:


But frankly....it's not their problem you don't like the smell of what their cooking. You need to suck it up.

Yeah, so, will you let me use your kitchen and living spaces then? I promise to pay the same amount as they do - zero. Oh, any medical or financial problems you might have due to that? Would you kindly suck them up, or would you tell offender to get out? If so, can I please have your address? :smallannoyed:

Plus, that "cook" annoyed the hell out of me when he didn't wanted to change at the weekend, when we had time, because he wanted "sightseeing", and now knocks (four loud times) to my door well after 21:45 to ask if I couldn't swap right now. I almost punched him on the spot, despite keeping calm demeanour on the outside :smallannoyed:

My approval for the change now approaches zero, and only the further bothering and retaliations keep me from telling him that to his face. I'll probably talk to warden tomorrow to disallow swapping on the spot, I hope this didn't affect my chances for lower floor in the future :smallsigh:

[Innis Cabal]

And it is reasons like this that I no longer can live with other human beings. I need my own damnable space, and can't stand people being jerkwads and breaching into my own area. Though, I gotta be honest, that's not all that bad. At my first apartment, one guy liked to wander into my room and nick my stuff every now and again. That's pretty much why I moved out. :smallsigh:

Come live with my Argus. You'll like AZ. It's sunny and there's lots of space. Cute girls to.


With 2 out of 5 people with the flat. It's not 'anyone'. Hell, if we were as united as they were, we'd tell them to walk. As of now, it's singulars vs 6-7 people :smallannoyed:



Since when? Student hotels have strict regulations. That's why they do it late, probably, so that no wardens are around.

They come from other student flats ya? If they're breaking rules *shrug* but that's not how you made it sound.


And no, they're not 'keeping me up', they don't allow me to use facilities I paid for already a hefty sum!

Your the one shooting yourself in the foot. Tell them to leave when you want to cook. Point out you paid for it. They don't like it...tough. If they're using your things and not cleaning them. Remove them from the kitchen.


Geee, guess who will pay a fine for food hazard danger or kitchen renovation if any inspection comes around at this rate? That's right, not mysterious Oceanians from other flats, but people who live in this one! :smallmad:

What is "Food hazard Danger"...I've never heard of that and honestly...can't see it being an issue if you have a good ventilation system. Also...while I don't know what "Ocreanians" stands for....you might want to not spin it like that...


Yeah, so, will you let me use your kitchen and living spaces then? I promise to pay the same amount as they do - zero.

Come over any time you want. Just don't complain when my cooking smells or how dirty it is because I don't have time to clean dish's. :smalltongue:


Oh, any medical or financial problems you might have due to that? Would you kindly suck them up, or would you tell offender to get out? If so, can I please have your address? :smallannoyed:

Well, I suppose so, though good luck getting into a hospital without insurance. And I guess I can give you my address...though you'll be spending way more money on a ticket here then just sucking it up and waiting out the bad room mates.


Plus, that "cook" annoyed the hell out of me when he didn't wanted to change at the weekend, when we had time, because he wanted "sightseeing", and now knocks (four loud times) to my door well after 21:45 to ask if I couldn't swap right now. I almost punched him on the spot, despite keeping calm demeanour on the outside :smallannoyed:

That's an outside issue that you brought on yourself.

[Keld Denar]

No offense, dude, but it sounds like you think you have no other options. Guess what, there are ALWAYS other options. You just haven't thought of them yet. The worst thing you can do it get worked up about something and not do anything about it. As Richard Rahl always says: Think of the solution, not the problem.

If they are really having THAT much of an impact on your life, talk to the Warden then. Tell them what is happening, when it is happening, and how frequently its happening. Keep a logbook with exact dates and times so its not just you saying "they are annoying me ALL the time", as this sounds really petty. Build a case, execute. If the Warden doesn't do anything, involve the police. If its really a fire code or trespassing issue, they won't be able to take it lightly. Again, stack up your proof, your facts, your evidence, and then execute.

Can you get a lock installed on your own door? Its not that hard to put in a light deadbolt or chain. Its not gonna stop someone from kicking the door down, but it will discourage casual entrance. You could probably pick up a chain device for $2.50 or less from a local hardware store, borrow a screwdriver from a friend or neighbor, and be done with that aspect of the problem in about 20-30 minutes. A small canister of wood putty to repair the holes when you move out will set you back...$3ish dollars. Thats a ~ $5.50 solution to half of your problem. I understand that money is tight, but thats less than the cost of a pint of beer. I'm sure you can afford at least that.

Biggest thing, though, is to stop stressing, it doesn't accomplish anything. Its not as bad as it seems. 2 months from now, it'll be over, and 2 years from now it'll be a memory. We all put up with a fair amount of discomfort in life. Sometimes you just gotta pay your dues and focus on the future when you'll graduate and have enough money to get your own house without having to deal with flatmates.

[arguskos]

Come live with my Argus. You'll like AZ. It's sunny and there's lots of space. Cute girls to.
1. I'm not "your" Argus. :smalltongue:

2. I hate Arizona. Hellhole of a state. It's too hot, and as I recall, you moved to Phoenix, right? If you lived in Flagstaff, ok, we might have a plan, but Phoenix? BLEEEEECH :smallyuk:

@OP: Yeaaaaaaah, if it's really as bad as all that, do what I did, and present some evidence, a case to your landlord or whoever is the local authority. If it's that big an issue, you need to do something instead of just being all "BAAAAWWWWSUCKBAWWWW", cause though it is definitely sucky that these guys are ***** like that, there's solutions. To quote Captain James T. Kirk, "I like to think that there are always... possibilities."

[Jack Squat]

Could you ask them if they could rotate out which rooms they go to? In particular, calmly bring up your annoyance about losing your use of the kitchen for however often it is to your roomies when the rest of the group isn't around. No one's going to listen to you if you don't do it respectfully(How often are these meetings anyways? I don't think you ever said)

As to the dishes, they're your roomies guests. Annoy the hell out of your roomies to take care of the dishes, but always make sure yours are squared away. Don't give them an excuse to let anything sit around uncared for.

Honestly, your best bet may be to see about swapping with the cook from the other flat. Check out his room and see if there's any damage to it or if it's in any other way undesirable. Check out his flat mates too - you don't want to move in with worse. Never do a blind swap.

If switching isn't an option, you're probably just going to have to suck it up until you can head out of there. Bad roomies/suite mates are a part of life. Maybe take it as an excuse to make friends with people outside of your flat and hang out at their place whenever the group is crowding up yours.

[Innis Cabal]

1. I'm not "your" Argus. :smalltongue:

2. I hate Arizona. Hellhole of a state. It's too hot, and as I recall, you moved to Phoenix, right? If you lived in Flagstaff, ok, we might have a plan, but Phoenix? BLEEEEECH :smallyuk:

@OP: Yeaaaaaaah, if it's really as bad as all that, do what I did, and present some evidence, a case to your landlord or whoever is the local authority. If it's that big an issue, you need to do something instead of just being all "BAAAAWWWWSUCKBAWWWW", cause though it is definitely sucky that these guys are ***** like that, there's solutions. To quote Captain James T. Kirk, "I like to think that there are always... possibilities."

1. I meant me :smallfrown:

2. And I did move to Flagstaff. So we might have a plan. Screw Phoenix, 104 at 10 pm? No thanks.

[arguskos]

1. I meant me :smallfrown:

2. And I did move to Flagstaff. So we might have a plan. Screw Phoenix, 104 at 10 pm? No thanks.
Yay Flagstaff! Waaaaaa nicer than Phoenix.

[Irbis]

They come from other student flats ya? If they're breaking rules *shrug* but that's not how you made it sound.

That's the point - I have no idea from where these guys are. Other flats, other buildings, other city - no idea. Just as no one will have any idea who did what if something gets 'misplaced' or damaged.


Your the one shooting yourself in the foot. Tell them to leave when you want to cook. Point out you paid for it. They don't like it...tough. If they're using your things and not cleaning them. Remove them from the kitchen.

Ech, when it's one against 6-7, with two people that technically have right to be there, with every surface covered with prepared meal - I'm not sure if they would even listen to me, and if they did, it would cause a colossal lot of hard feelings later :smallsigh:

I simply don't have a good option here.


What is "Food hazard Danger"...I've never heard of that and honestly...

How about cockroaches and other insects happily multiplying on leftover bits? I'm not saying it's that bad yet, but if it comes to this, penalties can be really severe.


Also...while I don't know what "Ocreanians" stands for....you might want to not spin it like that...

It doesn't stand for anything. That's why I used it. They don't bother me, it's their behavior. Frankly, they could be Russians or Eskimos or Martians or whatever, it's their jerkiness that annoys me :smallannoyed:


Come over any time you want. Just don't complain when my cooking smells or how dirty it is because I don't have time to clean dish's. :smalltongue:

Nah, don't mind if I do someday :smallamused:


Well, I suppose so, though good luck getting into a hospital without insurance.

Yup, which is why things that might affect it might bother me, don't you think? :smallconfused:


That's an outside issue that you brought on yourself.

By staying there, you mean?


If they are really having THAT much of an impact on your life, talk to the Warden then.

Eh, I didn't wanted to escalate it yet. I might do that, just not now.


Keep a logbook with exact dates and times so its not just you saying "they are annoying me ALL the time", as this sounds really petty.

So far, it had been somewhat manageable, especially with them not coming over the weekend. But, I don't know how it will develop.


If its really a fire code or trespassing issue, they won't be able to take it lightly.

It's both, actually. The flats and the kitchen have heavy fireproof doors - guess at which time I usually notice them loudly slamming a lot more often? :smallmad:

They try to limit it somewhat, IIRC, but it's still noticeable, and anyway, any smell that penetrates three pairs of thick doors must be pretty persistent.


Can you get a lock installed on your own door? Its not that hard to put in a light deadbolt or chain.

Have one both in my door and shelf. Not very strong, but at least that's that. I'm more afraid about the kitchen/freezer though.


Biggest thing, though, is to stop stressing, it doesn't accomplish anything. Its not as bad as it seems. 2 months from now, it'll be over, and 2 years from now it'll be a memory. We all put up with a fair amount of discomfort in life.

Ech, I hope so. Still, it's the single most expensive room I ever had and it had the worst conditions of all I had in my life :smallsigh:


Could you ask them if they could rotate out which rooms they go to? In particular, calmly bring up your annoyance about losing your use of the kitchen for however often it is to your roomies when the rest of the group isn't around.

No idea. Still, I'm wondering why the heck they have to meet here, and why they don't go visit the cook instead. Maybe people there were more assertive?


As to the dishes, they're your roomies guests. Annoy the hell out of your roomies to take care of the dishes, but always make sure yours are squared away. Don't give them an excuse to let anything sit around uncared for.

I already wash mine immediately. Hell, I went to shop last Sunday and bought a few pieces (at solid expense) to replace Hotel's stuff they keep in use all the time so that I didn't have to use dirty/worn stuff they leave in no idea what condition. Now, every single item I use is mine and is clean and stored (again, at my space's expense) as soon as I have access to washbasin, though it tends to be dirty too :smallannoyed:


Honestly, your best bet may be to see about swapping with the cook from the other flat. Check out his room and see if there's any damage to it or if it's in any other way undesirable. Check out his flat mates too - you don't want to move in with worse. Never do a blind swap.

Maybe. Still, there's a big fee for swapping, a lot of paper-hunting involved, moving of my stuff, and I begun to ask myself why should I bother, it's their problem :smallannoyed:

[Syka]

First, how often are they there?

Second, you probably have to do what I (and my sister) have both done when we've had roommates. We sit down and discuss apartment rules. It's all about compromise. Like, when I was living in a one room (literally) deal with two other girls, there was an agreement that our spaces could be as messy as we wanted as long as A. dirty dishes didn't remain dirty longer than over night and B. the mess did not stray out of our area and impinge on the other areas. We could have a light on for late-night studying as long as we were quiet, etc. Boyfriends could stay over as long as we had prior notice (this was broken once, when our other roommates was gone for the summer, but they apologized the next day and I understood because it was that or he drive back to Atlanta, 6-7 hours away, at 3 in the morning after already doing that drive).

There is NOTHING wrong with that. Some ground rules might include a clean-dish policy, a curfew for having friends over, and/or setting up times for kitchen use (one person gets it from 6-7, one from 7-8, etc and cycle the times).

If they then decline and continue being obnoxious afterward, then talk a Warden to get them to follow the rules. If it still doesn't work, switch.

Do this talk while the 4-5 other people aren't there, be calm, and ask everyone to write down their own ideas prior to the meeting.

Be calm. Do not be accusatory, but let them know that their over-use of the kitchen is impeding your use of the kitchen. Honestly...they might not even know they are limiting your use! I mean, I lived in a large house with a communal kitchen in college (one kitchen with two stoves, two microwaves, and a sink) shared between almost 100 girls. No one ever had a problem sharing burners, making space for others to cook if necessary, or waiting if there was no other choice. There were never hard feelings that I know of. But requests were also voiced rather than suffering in silence.

Heck, I had to kick people out at night as part of a job for the building, and the only people who ever gave me a hard time were my good friends, lol. Everyone else was polite.

[Jack Squat]

No idea. Still, I'm wondering why the heck they have to meet here, and why they don't go visit the cook instead. Maybe people there were more assertive?

Or maybe your roomies that are in the group offered, and just didn't think to clear it with you and the other roomies first, assuming you'd be fine with it. Happens a lot with a few of my friends.



I already wash mine immediately. Hell, I went to shop last Sunday and bought a few pieces (at solid expense) to replace Hotel's stuff they keep in use all the time so that I didn't have to use dirty/worn stuff they leave in no idea what condition. Now, every single item I use is mine and is clean and stored (again, at my space's expense) as soon as I have access to washbasin, though it tends to be dirty too :smallannoyed:

Good, then get on your roomies about cleaning up their mess.


Maybe. Still, there's a big fee for swapping, a lot of paper-hunting involved, moving of my stuff, and I begun to ask myself why should I bother, it's their problem :smallannoyed:

No it's not. They don't have a problem with using the same kitchen as you. You have a problem with them doing it, ergo it's your problem. If it's a big enough problem that you can't resolve it and can't live with it, then move out. If you can resolve it, do that. But don't sit there fuming in your room and online while they have no idea that there is a problem. Confront them, but remember to be even tempered and respectful when doing it.

[Innis Cabal]

Yay Flagstaff! Waaaaaa nicer than Phoenix.

If your ever in the area, give me a jingle :P