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guciek
2010-11-26, 08:31 PM
"Trap" is the title of the thing. Have been scribbling it since a month ago using MyPaint and a graphics tablet.

http://guciek.net/drawings/2010/2010_11_26/img-6.jpeg

Serpentine
2010-11-26, 11:19 PM
Hmm. Reminds me of a slobberer (http://www.pauljennings.com.au/books_detail.asp?pid=1740).

Domochevsky
2010-11-27, 12:27 PM
I'm not quite sure what i'm looking at here. :smallconfused:

Worlok
2010-11-27, 01:24 PM
Nice. Very abstract. Just familiar enough to look realistic, but at the same time so subtly strange that it can't be anything but a fantasy. Well done.

guciek
2010-11-28, 04:58 AM
Thank you for comments, and especially Worlok for your kind words!

@Domochevsky Yeah, it might look a little strange, but at least I hope that it is possible to follow the events? I'm not very confident about my skills of planning out comic panels.

Serpentine
2010-11-28, 06:38 AM
I think space and location is a bit of a problem. It makes it hard to tell what's happening where. It looks cool, but it's hard to follow when the location seems to shift around.

Cizak
2010-11-28, 09:50 AM
Yeah, not trying to be mean here, but it's hard to follow it. Let me try.

Panel 1: The the mouse-thingy is jsut chilling by his house.
2: The camera zooms out to give us a view of the area.
3: The mouse spots something.
4: Zoom out to a wierd branch.
5: The mouse notices the branch.
6: Did he died??

Yeah, sorry, not following this. The art is fantastic, however.

guciek
2010-11-28, 05:19 PM
Maybe the problem is that I think of it like of a movie camera, and while in a film you can see how the view rotates, in a comic it just results in confusion.

I second panel, the camera is pointed to the left, to where the rat-thingy is looking. In all other panels the looking direction is the same (in the last panel only slightly rotated to the right).

@Cizak One important thing the images failed to convey to you is that the "branch" is supposed to be alive and to fall on the thingy from the top. Otherwise, yeah, that's about it, when you replace "chilling" with "creeping" :)

Serpentine
2010-11-29, 12:54 AM
I think that all you need is something to tie the panels together, to show that they're all showing the same general area. I'm thinking, in particular, the house-thing in the first panel, the yellowish curve in the second, and what seems to be some sort of dish in the second-last. My brain wants them to all be the same thing, which would give it some framework, but they don't appear to be. If you show each of these objects in each panel, then even though you're showing the scene from a different angle it will give us a better idea of what we're looking at.
That make sense? Basically we need something that can be seen in multiple panels from different angles so we can figure out what's happening where. The fruit does it a bit, but not quite enough.

guciek
2010-11-29, 07:28 AM
That make sense?

Yes it does.

When I thought about this more, in comics I know you typically see one of the three scenarios:

1. Camera is constant and characters walk around.

2. Camera follows one object that is moving through some scenery, and the angle is constant with relation to the object or (more seldom) constant in world coordinates.

3. Characters are talking on every panel, so it is not exactly important where they are or what the background is.

So, next time I'll try to stick to one of these, and if it is not possible, then try to keep many objects from previous panels in view.

Serpentine
2010-11-29, 07:35 AM
It just needs to be clear where the action is going is all. It's a shame, because I really like this other than that.