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Geohound13
2010-12-14, 09:37 AM
I need some magic items that are fun but completely useless. Like the Window of transparency, it lets the use see through it :smallbiggrin:. I need more like this.

Threeshades
2010-12-14, 09:41 AM
How about something like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z86V_ICUCD4) only magical?

Re'ozul
2010-12-14, 12:20 PM
I've been making stuff for my game, though few of them are actually useless, but it needs a bit of thinking to get a use out of them.
Examples:

Fetch Pebble:
Once thrown (read: left the last persons skin) it will hover and move at 10' per round towards the thrower. If on that path it encounters the skin of another being the "holder" changes to that one.

sticky marble:
A marble that sticks on any kind of skin. A DC 15 strenght check is needed to pull it off though attempts to do so do never harm the being its stuck to.

spoon of cooking:
When held, make a DC 12 will save or be dominated to make a delicious meal out of materials currently available to you.

blue eyes glasses:
When put on, the eyes of any character appear blue when viewed through the lenses.

amulet of delay:
when wearing this amulet any sound that would result from a direct action of the character is dealyed 1d4 rounds at random.

shackles of zapping:
when both shackles are put on different beings, each is subjected to random shocks (1d4 points of electricity). (roll 1d100: 1-10 being 1, 11-90 neither, 91 to 100 being 2; repeat per minute)

kestrel404
2010-12-14, 02:08 PM
The glove of clapping - it's a single leather glove. When worn, a command word causes it to make a clapping noise.

Sun Glasses - These shiny yellow spectacles were created by a prank-loving priest of Pelor. They are darkened glasses which prevent dazzling from bright light while not inhibiting vision in dark environments - although the fact that each lens is bright yellow and shaped like a pointy sun-icon makes many cringe at the idea of actually wearing them. When worn for 12 hours, they cause the wearer to get a nice, even, dark tan over their entire body - except for about an inch around both eyes, which is left pale. This effect is most remarkable on drow and other naturally dark creatures, since the paleness around the eyes is apparently as much a part of the effect as the tanning.

The Dog Whistle - This is a common whistle, except that when blown it makes no noise. However, 1d10 rounds later, a dog will be summoned (as per summon nature's ally 1). This dog does not obey the commands of the whistle blower, or anyone else, and if the whistle is blown again, if it is attacked or if anyone attempts to use a spell or skill on it, it runs away immediately. After 1d4 minutes, it will marks its territory (possibly on a PC or NPC, this is a ranged touch attack with a range of 5 feet and a +10 bonus to hit) and then disappears. If the dog is killed, its remains vanish within 1 round and it cannot be summoned again for a week.

The Sword of Damoclese - A magic blade from legendary tales. It would act as a Dancing Scimitar for anyone who knows the command word - unfortunately that command word is in a forgotten tongue for a dead race who's physiology was capable of producing completely unique sounds. Without the command word, then this sword will imprint itself on a random individual and hang 3 feet above their head (pointed down, as though about to fall and impale their skull), soft of like a giant metal exclamation point or a very dangerous ion stone. If it is unable to maintain this position (due to a low ceiling or persistent attempts to catch it), it will disappear, turning invisible, and silently stalk its intended 'master' for a time. It will always re-appear shortly before the person awakens from sleep, so that the first thing they see in the morning is a sword a few inches above their nose, suspended in mid-air. A character who is being followed by this sword who enters an anti-magic field should make a reflex save (DC 15) to avoid getting skewered by the falling blade. On a successful dexterity check (also DC 15), the character can attempt to wrest the sword out of the air and wield it as a weapon. Each round they wield the blade, however, they take a -4 circumstance penalty to attack and damage (because the sword is uncooperative) and must make a DC 15 strength check. Immediately after losing control of the sword, it will flat them for 1d6 non-lethal damage in retribution before taking it's place again (or turning invisible, if it's feeling spiteful).

randomhero00
2010-12-14, 02:45 PM
Earmuffs of songs: A special theme song plays for your character (out of no where) every time he does something interesting, but he can't hear it himself.

Gloves of the hairy moose: When a character puts these on his palms grow hair for 1d4 days. Any attempt to remove the hair makes it magically grow back.

Amulet of oppositional emotion: Whatever the character's emotion is, its shown the opposite on his face. If he's sad, he'll smile, if he's fighting he'll giggle like a school girl, etc.

Duke of URL
2010-12-14, 02:51 PM
Staff of Disintegration: Upon being activated, it disintegrates. Single use.

Stegyre
2010-12-14, 02:58 PM
I need some magic items that are fun but completely useless. Like the Window of transparency, it lets the use see through it :smallbiggrin:. I need more like this.
I disagree with the central premise of this thread. Ever since the invention of the Artificer, there's no such thing as a "completely useless" magic item. If nothing else, I can strip out its magical power to make a truly useful magic item. :smallbiggrin:

Lateral
2010-12-14, 03:26 PM
How about something like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z86V_ICUCD4) only magical?

Cool. I'm going to stat a D&D version of this, just for the lulz.

Tome of Uselessness
Whenever this plain brown tome is opened, it closes (as the open/close spell).

TinselCat
2010-12-14, 04:35 PM
Needing such a random but intriguing item for people to play with, I created a box. An impossible to open, unadorned wooden box that can be held in two hands. When shaken, moved, bumped or even looked at, it might randomly emit Dancing Lights, Sleep or Hold Person.

Not the "might" and the "randomly". In the case of Hold Person, it will act with a 50% chance on the holder or the target (if any), and Sleep has a chance of affecting anyone in the vicinity. Usually it activates at the most useless or mundane moments.

Although it is designed to be more of an annoyance to the players who want to get it to work on command, it can be highly amusing and/or inconvenient.

The above description was designed to be vague and adaptable to the needs of any circumstance, campaign or player.

The Dark Fiddler
2010-12-14, 04:44 PM
Boogie Skeleton
This pile of bonus is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

Person_Man
2010-12-14, 05:08 PM
Give them a variant on Presto's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeons_%26_Dragons_%28TV_series%29) hat. When they cast a spell using the magic hat, pick a word at random. The player must immediately create a rhyme using that word which also described what the spell should do. If they quickly and correctly do so, then apply a random beneficial effect (metamagic, secondary healing or protection effect, auto-hit, etc). If they delay, stumble in their words, or can't think of anything, they lose the spell and something weird happen.

Player: I cast Magic Missile using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is shazam.
Player: These missiles hit you like a ram, I laugh, you cry, I win, shazam!!!
DM: Your missiles deal maximum damage.

Next Round:
Player: I cast Color Spray using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is hue.
Player: I will ... uh... change your hairdo, and cut your bangs, like a stylist... named Hue?
DM: Your Color Spray creates an explosion of rainbow colored permanent dye, directly in your face.
Player: Yeah, I had that coming.

Shadowleaf
2010-12-14, 05:10 PM
Give them a variant on Presto's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dungeons_%26_Dragons_%28TV_series%29) hat. When they cast a spell using the magic hat, pick a word at random. The player must immediately create a rhyme using that word which also described what the spell should do. If they quickly and correctly do so, then apply a random beneficial effect (metamagic, secondary healing or protection effect, auto-hit, etc). If they delay, stumble in their words, or can't think of anything, they lose the spell and something weird happen.

Player: I cast Magic Missile using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is shazam.
Player: These missiles hit you like a ram, I laugh, you cry, I win, shazam!!!
DM: Your missiles deal maximum damage.

Next Round:
Player: I cast Color Spray using the magic hat.
DM: The magic word is hue.
Player: I will ... uh... change your hairdo, and cut your bangs, like a stylist... named Hue?
DM: Your Color Spray creates an explosion of rainbow colored permanent dye, directly in your face.
Player: Yeah, I had that coming.
That's the best stupid magic item I have ever seen.

I must use that someday.

Hanuman
2010-12-14, 05:21 PM
I think a dragon mag had 100 useless objects in it, to make players wonder.

Items with magic that's impossible to be useful?

Make a randomizing magic effect.

GoatBoy
2010-12-14, 05:31 PM
Grapeberry: A grape with the shape, colour, texture, and flavour of a strawberry.

Grelna the Blue
2010-12-14, 05:32 PM
I had a gnomish illusionist/rogue back in 2nd Ed. who got a Robe of Garishness he was very happy with. He could change the color scheme and pattern at will and even set up a simple kaleidoscopic effect, but it all had to be at least somewhat reminiscent of this (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/cd_gallery/81345.jpg).

Tvtyrant
2010-12-14, 05:39 PM
Grapeberry: A grape with the shape, colour, texture, and flavour of a strawberry.

I lol'd!

A PiG: A Pig in Germany, when you buy one of these a pig appears in Germany.

Chilingsworth
2010-12-14, 06:30 PM
A scroll of awaken that only works on shid tzus. (I have two of them in the house with me at the moment, they're getting on my nerves.

Shadowleaf
2010-12-14, 06:37 PM
A cursed Scroll of Erase which only works on the scroll itself.

Bowl of Comfortable Warmth: Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it's a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it's still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

Lightstone of Light: A stone which allows the wearer to cast the Light spell on it. Only works in a fully illuminated area. The Light spell wears off if either the caster, the stone, or both leaves the fully illuminated area.

The Magic Stone: The Stone's magical ability is that it appears to be magical if detected by spells such as Detect Magic.

Kaulesh
2010-12-14, 06:42 PM
Rod of Neutrality, can cast each of the following a certain number of times per day:
Open/Close with the side effect of casting Open/Close again on the same target
Knock with the side effect of casting Arcane Lock on the target (and vice versa)
Sunlight with the side effect of casting Darkness centered on the same point (and vice versa)

The possibilities are endless! I suppose casting knock on an already unlocked door would have the effect of locking it, so there is some small use for this item.

Poil
2010-12-14, 06:52 PM
The Magic Stone: The Stone's magical ability is that it appears to be magical if detected by spells such as Detect Magic.

That sounds like a hilarious item to place in a dungeon near where the players will want to detect magic.

The Big Dice
2010-12-14, 07:02 PM
The Item.

This innocent looking item has a strange effect on those who hear of it. They are consumed with the desire to own the Item. The owner of the Item feels it to be one of his most precious possessions and cannot be persuaded to part with it. However, this does not stop him from giving the Item away as a gift. Just from selling it. The current owner will do the best they can to both keep the Item secure, and keep it close to their person at all times.

If it is stolen it's owner, the former owner will seek it out. The new owner will be affected by the magic of the Item as above.

Shadowleaf
2010-12-14, 07:06 PM
The Item.

This innocent looking item has a strange effect on those who hear of it. They are consumed with the desire to own the Item. The owner of the Item feels it to be one of his most precious possessions and cannot be persuaded to part with it. However, this does not stop him from giving the Item away as a gift. Just from selling it. The current owner will do the best they can to both keep the Item secure, and keep it close to their person at all times.

If it is stolen it's owner, the former owner will seek it out. The new owner will be affected by the magic of the Item as above.
How is that remotely useless? Be immune to mind-influencing effects, give it to BBEG, watch him waste resources protecting a pretty powerful magical item.

It'd say it was a cursed item, not a magic item, though.

The Big Dice
2010-12-14, 07:08 PM
How is that remotely useless? Be immune to mind-influencing effects, give it to BBEG, watch him waste resources protecting a pretty powerful magical item.

It'd say it was a cursed item, not a magic item, though.

It's completely useless because it does nothing. And if you're immune to mind affecting stuff, it's going to get stolen from you very quickly.

Kurald Galain
2010-12-14, 07:08 PM
How about the classic Ring of Invisibility. When worn, this ring becomes invisible. But you don't.

AshDesert
2010-12-14, 07:16 PM
Ring of "Bag of Holding" Holding: This plain, silver ring can hold an infinite number of Bags of Holding... as long as the Bags are completely empty. This one wasn't completely useless. One of my players came up with this after getting 30 Bags of Holding in a row off of the random treasure generation tables.
Pet Rock: At first look, this seems to be a completely normal pebble. And it is. That Gnome merchant just put an aura on it to make you think it was magical.

Belt of Self-Disguise: This belt can be used 3 times per day to use Disguise Self as the spell. However, you may only disguise yourself as yourself and the spell gives no bonus to Disguise checks.

Hanuman
2010-12-14, 07:19 PM
Glass of Non-Allergic Water Creation
When a user casts Create Water inside this glass, any human is not allergic to that water.

J.Gellert
2010-12-14, 07:20 PM
The Optical Disk: Legends say that it holds vast knowledge, but how to access it remains a mystery. It can however be used to Dazzle opponents by reflecting light off its surface; Reflex DC10 saves.

Boots of Walking: This pair of boots can find its way home without you.

Shaving Blade +3: Exactly what it says on the tin. Rumours about it having the Vorpal attribute have not been confirmed.

Unloseable Keyrings: These cursed objects continually emit a very annoying high-pitched sound if they are ever seperated 10ft from their designated masters. Most are buried with their owners.

The Lucky Charm: This charm is very lucky. Unfortunately, none of its luck seems to brush off on its owner.

Greenish
2010-12-14, 07:21 PM
Knock with the side effect of casting Arcane Lock on the target (and vice versa)

The possibilities are endless! I suppose casting knock on an already unlocked door would have the effect of locking it, so there is some small use for this item.You could also cast Arcane Lock on a mundanely locked door, so the Knock will open both.

Also note that Knock doesn't remove Arcane Lock, only suppresses it for 10 minutes.

Shadowleaf
2010-12-14, 07:29 PM
Stylish Belt: This magical belt can have its apperance changed by pure thought alone. You may change its appearance as a fullround action: It can only be reshaped as as another type of belt or object of belt-like apperance of the same size as the belt had before. The belt may not be reshaped into a form which contains any metal other than iron, nor any type of gem or anything else remotely valuable.

Zergrusheddie
2010-12-14, 07:45 PM
Ring of the Dark Covenant
When Identified, this ring appears to be a permanent Tongues spell that allows communication with Celestials. In practice, it only lets you speak in Celestial and only the highly offensive curse words. Asmodeus, rumor has it, originally created it as a joke.

Pants of Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow
When worn, music plays during an intimate event.

Mug of Dwarven Hate
Any alcoholic beverage placed into the cup instantly becomes alcohol-free and tastes of raw sewage.

Rod of Fertehlulz
This Rod appears to be magical, but an Identify spell yields no information other than an activation word: "Kaboom." When the Command Word is stated (as a Full Round Action), a Prestidigitation spell is activated to make a popping sound and a flash. Afterwards, a flag is unrolled from the top of the rod. The flag reads "Bang!"

Crossbow of Inner Torment
This is nothing more than a masterwork crossbow that has the arrow fly out of the stock, hitting the user. There is no other way to use it.

Cursed Lantern of Revealing
Appears to be a normal Lantern of Revealing but when used, activates an Alarm spell shouting "HEEEYYYY YOUUU GUUYYYSSS!"

Cursed Glasses of Seeing
When worn, the wearer is treated as being Blind. Grants immunity to Gaze Effects.

GoatBoy
2010-12-14, 08:21 PM
Belt of Mysterious Healing
No matter how terrible your wounds, you will heal up completely by merely sleeping for a few days!

Headband of Education
Your bodily health and combat prowess will increase over time, and all you have to do is stand behind really big people and chant magic words!

Vest of the Lucky Bastard
If you have a bit of experience picking locks and stabbing people in the back (ie. level 2 rogue) this item will give you, at the very least, a 5% chance of surviving the fiery breath of a dragon god, unscathed!

Collar of the Savage Feline
Place this collar upon a normal house cat, and it will gain the power to kill the vast majority of the human population!

Goggles of the Dunked Doctor
If a friend is near death and you don't have time to heal them, just put on these goggles and throw them into the water, and twelve seconds later they will recover!

Sack of Infinite Capacity
As long as anything you put into it weighs less than 1/10th of a pound, anything put into this sack will weigh nothing at all!

EDIT (almost forgot):
Amulet of the Tikbalang
Wear this amulet and no tikbalangs will attack you, ever!

DisgruntledDM
2010-12-14, 10:13 PM
I once developed a magic item that looks just like the Deck of Many Things called The Deck of Useless, Irritating, and Stupid things.

Players could draw such things as: A rainbow mullet wig, A collection of emo poetry, a copy of Hillary Clinton's biography, Dolph Ziggler and an Air Guitar.

Geohound13
2010-12-15, 08:38 AM
You guys really out did yourselves! Keep them coming! :smallbiggrin:

Gravitron5000
2010-12-15, 08:58 AM
Belt of Self-Disguise: This belt can be used 3 times per day to use Disguise Self as the spell. However, you may only disguise yourself as yourself and the spell gives no bonus to Disguise checks.

This is useful if you are bad at disguising yourself. Use the belt to poorly disguise yourself as youself, cause some shenanigans, dismiss the disguise, then pretend that someone is trying to frame you.

Shadowleaf
2010-12-15, 10:06 AM
Hat of Butterflies: All butterflies within 30' immediatly takes off upon hearing your voice.

Hourglass of the Ages: An hourglass with the sand magically suspended in the middle.

Handkerchief of Obscurity: This monogrammed handkerchief has its letters changed to a seemingly random set of letters everytime it is used.

The Chair of Steadiness: This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

Book of Confusion: The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time.

The Rope of Untying: This seemingly ordinary rope will immediatly untie whatever knot bound on it as soon as you let go of the knot.

The Staff of Balance: Whenever this staff rested on the ground, it will balance perfectly and stay upright. It can be shifted, but it will always end up perfectly upright.

Edit: Shamefully stolen.

Qwertystop
2010-12-15, 10:12 AM
Rod of Neutrality, can cast each of the following a certain number of times per day:
Open/Close with the side effect of casting Open/Close again on the same target
Knock with the side effect of casting Arcane Lock on the target (and vice versa)
Sunlight with the side effect of casting Darkness centered on the same point (and vice versa)

The possibilities are endless! I suppose casting knock on an already unlocked door would have the effect of locking it, so there is some small use for this item.

Open/Close could be used to whack someone in the back with a door, but when they turn around it's still closed
Sunlight/Darkness can make strobe lights

Ravens_cry
2010-12-15, 10:40 AM
Staff of Disintegration: Upon being activated, it disintegrates. Single use.
Ha ha! Got the drop on you with my disintegrating pistol staff! And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.
*beat*
Heh, well, whaddaya know... it disintegrated.

Duke of URL
2010-12-15, 11:11 AM
Ha ha! Got the drop on you with my disintegrating pistol staff! And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.
*beat*
Heh, well, whaddaya know... it disintegrated.

Yes, that's exactly what I was referencing.

Although it should be pronounced "dithintegrated".

Ravens_cry
2010-12-15, 11:21 AM
Yes, that's exactly what I was referencing.

Although it should be pronounced "dithintegrated".
Yeth, but that wouldth be hardth to readth, no? Nice to know you, me, and Security Chief Michael Garibaldi have the same taste in mid 20th century visual arts. This COULD have use for propping something up, like a collapsing roof trap, only to disintegrate at the worst time

Duke of URL
2010-12-15, 11:24 AM
This COULD have use for propping something up, like a collapsing roof trap, only to disintegrate at the worst time

Depends on what the activation method is. If you have to actually hold and try to use it like a normal staff, probably not so useful.

Ravens_cry
2010-12-15, 11:48 AM
Depends on what the activation method is. If you have to actually hold and try to use it like a normal staff, probably not so useful.
Still good for those big dramatic "I'm taking you with me!' boss fight endings.

Hanuman
2010-12-15, 12:27 PM
Solar Torch
This magical torch is devoid of heat but will stay lit as long as it's in bright sunlight.

Teln
2010-12-15, 03:09 PM
Anti-Magic Field Detector

This is a rock with a magically enhanced aura. When you enter an AMF, the aura goes out. To prevent you from losing it, it automatically teleports into your pocket if it goes more than 5 feet away from you. It also doubles as a warning system for Disjunctions.

Zergrusheddie
2010-12-15, 05:40 PM
The Hat of Butterflies might be useful for a farmer if his field is being eaten by roving bands of butterflies, or for the bard that really wants to make his next performance special. The sad thing is that some munchkin will certainly think of a use for every item in this thread...

Bead of Usability
When activated, the Bead of Usability is used. One use.

Saddle of Stability
When this saddle is applied to a horse (a process which takes 5 rounds), the rider of that horse instantly succeeds all Ride checks. The horse is instantly killed.

Boots of the Commoner
When these boots are worn, the person instantly chooses a Flaw. They do not get an additional feat.

Sharpened Staff of Iron
This Staff is actually made out of iron and is quite sharp. Deals 1d8+strength damage per hit.

GoatBoy
2010-12-15, 07:38 PM
Ring of Nonvisibility
You become invisible, as long as no one is looking at you.

Shirt of Pants
As long as you wear this item, you are immune to the naked status.

Ravens_cry
2010-12-15, 09:19 PM
Sharpened Staff of Iron
This Staff is actually made out of iron and is quite sharp. Deals 1d8+strength damage per hit.
The ultimate weapon for a RAW-tard Charger.
You said strength damage, not strength MODIFIER damage.

Qwertystop
2010-12-16, 07:40 AM
Sharpened Staff of Iron[/B]
This Staff is actually made out of iron and is quite sharp. Deals 1d8+strength damage per hit.

Don't forget, it does damage as it's magic effect, but also as a plain old attack that is made at the same time. Probably a bit closer to 2d8

Dogmantra
2010-12-16, 09:49 AM
Hat of Disguise Self: Once per day on command this hat will cast Disguise Self. On itself.

Hyudra
2010-12-16, 02:07 PM
Mantle of Awe

On entering a room with the mantle in one's possession, a flock of doves fly through the doorway from behind you, a fanfare plays and an angelic chorus can be heard singing a verse. The larger the room, the more impressive the effect (more doves, longer angelic chorus).

Created for a noble who wished to make a good impression at a party. Has the unfortunate effect of activating every time one enters a room. Every room. This fact was discovered by a scoundrel who robbed the original owner and tried (failing) to escape.
Lenses of the Wary Tyrant

These lenses make orphans glow with a subtle golden light, to the wearer.

A set of these was commissioned for use by an evil despot who had cottoned on to the fact that those same intrepid heroes that overthrow despots are, 95 times out of a hundred, orphans. Elite death squads were equipped with the lenses and ordered to cull the population in what turned out to be one of the most successful evil reigns in history.

When worn by an orphan, has the unfortunate effect of applying the golden light to oneself, rendering one effectively colorblind (you see everything in shades of gold) and halving one's ability to see in the dark.
The Stone of Jordan

This small ring, set with a plain piece of gray sandstone, weighing .01 pounds (weight is important here, and should be tracked). It has an aura of moderate conjuration. Every hour the user spends active, the stone duplicates itself, with the copy appearing somewhere on the owner's person. Each copied ring retains the duplication quality. As such, after two hours of activity, the user will have 4 Stones of Jordan. After ten hours, they will have 512 in their possession. After sixteen hours, they will have 32,768.

The duplication effect does not tend to apply to discarded rings, but works as a conjuration effect that tracks the most recent individual to use the effect. In short, if one picks up the ring and it activates while in their ownership, the duplication effect will only work for that individual, until they go 72 hours without triggering the effect, at which point the duplication effect fades on all but one of the rings and other rings crumble to sand. (The same will occur to any ring that one attempts to harvest for crude materials) This was implemented as a safeguard to keep the ring from carpeting the world.

Owners of the Stone of Jordan will find that, much like sand, the rings will get everywhere. The duplication effect is indiscriminate and places the rings around armor straps, in pockets, hanging from buttons, inside scroll cases, in the recesses of bedrolls, and so on. Failure to find that one last ring will result in one's backpacks and pockets overflowing with the damned things by the end of the day.

Created by a gnome wizard as a gift to his betrothed, likely with some kitschy sentiment like "My love for you redoubles every hour." Ended in tragedy when the fiance was found buried under tens of thousands of the things.

olthar
2010-12-16, 02:46 PM
the magic ring of magic detection: This magical ring will glow very softly if it is within 10 feet of any magic items including itself (must be within 5 feet of the ring and make a dc 10 spot check to notice it).

The infinite book of magic reading: This book is indecipherable without the use of the read magic spell. The front and back cover of the book are covered in runes which, when deciphered, promise to teach the reader of every page of the book how to cast spells more efficiently. The first page of the book contains a modified version of the spell read magic, which can only be used to read the second page, which contains a modified version of read magic which can only be used to read the third page, etc. The book has an infinite number of pages.

The Leash: This leash can be attached to The Collar. When attached to The Collar it allows the holder to pull a small animal behind them by making a combative strength check. Otherwise, it is a 5-foot rope.

The Collar: This collar can be attached to The Leash. When attached to The Leash, and affixed around the neck of an animal, The Collar allows the holder to pull a small animal behind them by making a combative strength check. Otherwise, it can be put around the neck of an animal.

cd4
2010-12-16, 03:34 PM
The Bottomless Mug:

This ordinary looking mug does nothing until the bottom touches any liquid. At which point the bottom disappears. For some reason most pubs ban anyone who asks for it to be filled up.:smallbiggrin:

AsteriskAmp
2010-12-16, 04:38 PM
I know it's not possible by RAW, but still, if you are the DM:

Potion of True Resurection: True Resurection on a potion, not much to explain.

Potion of Gate: The gate spell is cast ... inside of you, a random monster comes out of it, it's hostile to the drinker and will procede to burst out of the drinker upon coming out of the gate.

Potion of Time Stop: Your digestive system acts freely for 1d4 +1 rounds.

Potion of Fly Sympathy: Flies are attracted to you.

And some not so original ideas copied from a similar thread:

Sword of Cure Minor Wounds

Vorpal Guilliotine

And finally some original ideas:

Scroll of Literacy: Caster becomes Literate.

Scroll of Cure Blindness: Caster is cured of Blindness

Top Hat of Rabbit Production: When the words ALAKAZAM! are uttered near this hat it produces 1d4 fluffy rabbits while taking away 1% of the wearer's hair, they stay for 1d3 rounds and cannot do any action other than to look cute, after the elapsed time they decompose into hair.

Tracking Gloves: This leather gloves emit a high pitched sound when only one of them is left on the wearer's body. The sound stops when the other is removed or the removed one is returned.

Stanlee
2010-12-16, 05:46 PM
There was an item I read about once and I based a character off of it. It was a coin from Dragon magazine.

When you flip the coin someone has to call out heads or tails. If you were the last to call out it flipped to your side. If someone else was last to call out then it flips to the opposite side.

The character I played based his moral decisions based on fate. The DM was in on what the coin did and called the decisions for me, the other players did not know the coins power. :smallamused:

I think it was like 300gp

Logalmier
2010-12-16, 09:46 PM
Potion of the Palapteryx

The drinker of this potion gains the ability to pronounce palatalized Palapteryx. It however does not allow you to palatalize your panicle's Palapteryx.

Ingredients:

2lbs Wolfsbane
Unicorn Tears
A Child's Laughter

Geohound13
2010-12-17, 10:42 AM
There was an item I read about once and I based a character off of it. It was a coin from Dragon magazine.

When you flip the coin someone has to call out heads or tails. If you were the last to call out it flipped to your side. If someone else was last to call out then it flips to the opposite side.

The character I played based his moral decisions based on fate. The DM was in on what the coin did and called the decisions for me, the other players did not know the coins power. :smallamused:

I think it was like 300gp

That would be great for a gambler!

Dsurion
2010-12-17, 11:49 AM
Searching through older forum posts, found a few good ones.

Cloak of Billowing: this cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

Amulet of Feather Fall: When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

Deck of Many Thongs: Each card pulled from this deck has a picture of a woman in lingerie. However, this woman will always appear to be the viewers mother.

Dagger of Disarming: The holder of this dagger must attempt a Reflex save (19) every round they are in combat or the weapon will slip from their hands.

Bastard Sword: This sword goes into a rage when his creator is mentioned.

Duck of Many things : This duck lays 1d4 eggs a day, random mundane oddities are found in the eggs. The duck tends to lay them in hidden places.

Two-Handed Sword: Has two nonfunctional hands built into the hilt.

Axe of Pain: The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

Boots of Levitation: These boots levitate when not worn.

Staff of the Prismatic Sphere: 3/day summons a randomly colored magical sphere.

SamL
2010-12-17, 02:40 PM
Collar of the Savage Feline
Place this collar upon a normal house cat, and it will gain the power to kill the vast majority of the human population!


Man, I bet Belkar would kill for this item.

Qwertystop
2010-12-20, 09:52 PM
Man, I bet Belkar would kill for this item.

The joke is that on average, a housecat is much more likely to kill a Commoner (and capable of doing so) than vice versa, statwise. The collar does nothing but call attention to the fact.

Ilmryn
2010-12-20, 10:44 PM
Well, there is one form a previous thread, but it is more cursed then useless.

The Tome of Sparkling Vampires
To any detection attempts, this item appears to be a nonmagical book. However, on reading, it does 1d6 points of Intelligence and Wisdom drain to the reader. Teenage girls are immune to this effect.

Jack_Simth
2010-12-20, 10:48 PM
Saddle of Stability
When this saddle is applied to a horse (a process which takes 5 rounds), the rider of that horse instantly succeeds all Ride checks. The horse is instantly killed.

And one casting of Animate Dead later, you have a skeleton horse, and it no longer matters that you don't have any ranks in Ride.


Boots of the Commoner
When these boots are worn, the person instantly chooses a Flaw. They do not get an additional feat.
And the world was flooded with chickens... well, the merchants were - they're trade goods, you know.

There's actually a lot of items in here that have assorted minor uses (and some no-so-minor uses).

monkman
2010-12-20, 10:57 PM
Pole of poking: This pole allows a PC to poke another person from 10ft away.The first time a person is touched,They must make a Will save which DC is 14.IF the person fails,They turn around and look at the person with the pole.If they succeed They do not have to turn around.If poked again the Poker gains a -1(stacking) with all *speaking *skills(gather info,Diplomacy,Bluff,Intimidate) after 10 pokes In less that 1 hour,A person must make a Will save of 17 or become hostile and attack the poker.

How do you like it?

Hyudra
2010-12-20, 11:27 PM
Pole of poking: This pole allows a PC to poke another person from 10ft away.The first time a person is touched,They must make a Will save which DC is 14.IF the person fails,They turn around and look at the person with the pole.If they succeed They do not have to turn around.If poked again the Poker gains a -1(stacking) with all *speaking *skills(gather info,Diplomacy,Bluff,Intimidate) after 10 pokes In less that 1 hour,A person must make a Will save of 17 or become hostile and attack the poker.

How do you like it?

Only issue is the 'turn around' bit. There's no facing rules in D&D, so you're technically facing every direction at once.

Balain
2010-12-21, 02:15 AM
This was in a dragon mag long long ago...

Imagine two scrolls side by side each one with half of a bunch of spells on it like Magic mouth, locate object, burning hands, etc. No make a cylindrical scroll out of them but one twisted so you get spells like Burning mouth, locate hands, etc.

Good times were had by all has the mage uses the scroll

Trekkin
2010-12-22, 05:56 AM
The Big Book of Everything:
This book contains a description of every object in the universe, combining the effects of an identify, object reading and discern location cast on that object. Unfortunately, the pages are in random order. To use, roll 1d[number of objects in the universe] for every minute spent perusing the book; on a 1, the reader learns all the information that would be uncovered by the three preceding spells cast on the desired object.

Gettles
2010-12-22, 06:36 AM
Gloves of Skilled Hands when worn switches owners dominate hand.

Jack Zander
2010-12-22, 06:38 AM
There's always the classic Ring of Extra Ring Slot.

When worn, the wearer is able to wear and benefit from one extra ring worn.

Vizzerdrix
2010-12-22, 07:43 AM
Boogie Skeleton
This pile of bonus is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

Hey, thats cool! I wouldn't mind finding something like that in a treasure pile :smallsmile:

Solophoenix
2010-12-22, 12:45 PM
There's always the classic Ring of Extra Ring Slot.

When worn, the wearer is able to wear and benefit from one extra ring worn.

Can I use the MIC rules for stacking enchantments to add more effects? :P

BIGMamaSloth
2010-12-22, 07:25 PM
There's always the classic Ring of Extra Ring Slot.

When worn, the wearer is able to wear and benefit from one extra ring worn.

this starts getting really weird when you're wearing 20 of these. where do the rings start going?

Jack_Simth
2010-12-22, 08:32 PM
this starts getting really weird when you're wearing 20 of these. where do the rings start going?
Like wearing two Rings of Evasion, the effect doesn't stack.

But there's a rather lot of items in here that'd be at least a little useful, given the right circumstances:

The Fetch Pebble: Cast Continual Flame on it. You now have a hands-free light that you can run away from, and have it follow you on a specific course. As it's based on skin, you have the sneak of the party touch it, and put it in a container. Then have someone hold the container while the sneak goes somewhere. You then open the container without touching the pebble, and watch it head towards the sneak. If nobody saw the sneak, then you've got a traveling, ghostly light (especially if you arrange to cast Invisibility on the stone itself at some point).

The amulet of delay is handy for a sneak - if they goof up a Move Silently check, then they've got a bit to get away before the bad roll hits.

The Sun Glasses are useful in that they'll remove the sunlight penalty for Drow, Kobolds, and other critters (even though they do have side-effects).

The Dog Whistle makes for a quick distraction. Someone thinks they heard a noise? Blow the dog whistle. When the guard comes over to invistigate... oh look! A stray dog. That's likely what caused the noise....

The Sword of Damoclese: Analyze Dweomer gives command words, and Tongues lets you speak any language. Thus, it's a relatively normal Dancing Blade.

The Amulet of oppositional emotion is remarkably useful for interrogating prisoners - especially if you want to convince one prisoner that the other ratted him out.

Staff of Disintegration: Very limited use, but still useful: You use it to jam something open, that you wish to be able to close in a hurry.

Any item that hurts the user can of course be used as a trap.

And so on. You just need to get creative, and/or find fairly unusual circumstances.

Mercenary Pen
2010-12-22, 08:34 PM
this starts getting really weird when you're wearing 20 of these. where do the rings start going?

Well, your ears can take a few of them for a start.

Mirror of Vision
This mirror can be used an infinite number of times per day to view the user's reflection.

Kaulesh
2010-12-22, 09:33 PM
The Sun Glasses are useful in that they'll remove the sunlight penalty for Drow, Kobolds, and other critters (even though they do have side-effects).


It's much cheaper to buy the mundane goggles (Sundark? I don't recall the exact name) from Races of the Dragon.

Jack_Simth
2010-12-22, 09:43 PM
It's much cheaper to buy the mundane goggles (Sundark? I don't recall the exact name) from Races of the Dragon.
A couple of things about that:

1) Prices are not listed here.
2) Not all campaigns actually let you shop for items at Ye Olde Magjickque Shoppe Une Ltd, and not all parties have a crafter, so items you want to purchase are not necessarily available - you may find that you may need to make do with what you can find.
3) Not everyone wants items listed as 'useless', so you might have problems offloading them for noticeable change.

So basically, the useful items are situational and campaign dependent.

The Dark Fiddler
2010-12-22, 09:51 PM
this starts getting really weird when you're wearing 20 of these. where do the rings start going?

More than two per finger. Toes.

Ravens_cry
2011-01-31, 06:50 AM
Gloves of Skilled Hands when worn switches owners dominate hand.
"I *strips glove* am not left-handed."
Not exactly RAW, but still potentially useful. If you have an identical mundane pair that you wear all the time and switch gloves, you can really confuse people.

Worlok
2011-01-31, 09:39 AM
The Coat of Many Colors
This coat changes color every 1d4+1 rounds. It is also invisible. Moderate illusion.

The Turntoad
Whenever this toad-sized figurine of a toad is put on firm ground somewhere, it turns around. Faint transmutation.

The Umbrella of Lies
Whenever you open this umbrella, you get the illusion of the weather clearing, even if it actually rains. Whenever you close it, you get the illusion of sudden rainfall, even if it doesn't actually rain. Anyone seeing the user with the opened umbrella gets the illusion of rain falling out of it onto the user. DC 30 Will saves dispel this illusions for a day. Strong illusion.

kestrel404
2011-01-31, 01:01 PM
Boots of the Commoner
When these boots are worn, the person instantly chooses a Flaw. They do not get an additional feat.

It's already been pointed out, but this can totally get you the 'chicken infested' flaw, an ability I'd probably value at 20k gold pieces worth of magic item, at least. The fact that it can get you OTHER flaws means that this ends up being totally useful. Like the Dust of Sneezing and Coughing, this is a cursed item that's totally worth buying.

Now for some more:
Vest of Visibility - this bright orange vest counters all attempts to make you invisible and provides a -20 penalty to all hide checks.

Crossbow of Grenade launching - This is a magical crossbow that launches grenades. Any time a bolt is fired from this crossbow, it turns into a magically charged 'grenade' that detonates in the square it lands in, damaging everything in that square for 1d10 points of force damage. There is no hit roll. Range: 0 feet.

Lucifon's Marvelous Plot Engine - This diabolical engine of torment and despair was once a simple, innocent Apparatus of Kwalish. Now, due to mystic enhancements placed upon it by the demon-artificer Lucifon, it believes itself to be a cocker spaniel and every 10d10 days it will choose a new 'master' to follow around at random from the people within 1 mile of it. While following a 'master', it will attempt to remain within 5' of that person at all times, except when it sees an outhouse (which it immediately attacks until destroyed), clean laundry (it will consume any left sock, stocking, or 1/2 of a pair of hose therein), or mailman (what is done to mailmen is best left unsaid). At night, while the 'master' is sleeping, the confused Apparatus of Kwalish will attempt to 'curl up on its master's lap' - this consists of it circling around that person three times, walking until it is directly over top of them, and then retracting all limbs/protrusions simultaneously in order to land directly on top of them (at which point it is merely a 1 ton cylander of knobly steel).

Orbin Dules
2011-01-31, 05:17 PM
Magic 8 ball: this pure black sphere with an eight emblazoned on it will answer a yes or no question that's asked of it. Here's the catch: when someone asks it a question, the DM rolls 1d3. On a one, yes, on a two, no, and on a three, unknown. If someone asks it a question they know the answer to, the DM gives that answer.

Barbin
2011-01-31, 05:41 PM
Shirt of throwing
This simple green shirt is the perfect size for the average Halfling. When doned, the wearer's range increasment increases by 50ft when thrown.

Hours of fun followed by injuries sustained by the party's halfling.

Ravens_cry
2011-01-31, 05:49 PM
The Coat of Many Colors
This coat changes color every 1d4+1 rounds. It is also invisible. Moderate illusion.
This coat wouldn't happen to have pockets would it, like almost any coat? If so, definitely useful.


The Umbrella of Lies
Whenever you open this umbrella, you get the illusion of the weather clearing, even if it actually rains. Whenever you close it, you get the illusion of sudden rainfall, even if it doesn't actually rain. Anyone seeing the user with the opened umbrella gets the illusion of rain falling out of it onto the user. DC 30 Will saves dispel this illusions for a day. Strong illusion.
I know a few shysters who would pay good money for this. Go to places with drought and say you can make the rain come, for a fee of course.
Another use is against a dry lich. Unless they pass the will save, they will think they are taking damage.

DragonSinged
2011-01-31, 07:40 PM
This coat wouldn't happen to have pockets would it, like almost any coat? If so, definitely useful.


Well, I'd say that's only if you're assuming that anything stored in the pockets of the coat is also invisible. I would add an addendum to the coat that specifies that anything put in the pockets of the coat are also invisible to the wearer.

That way, he thinks he's being all crafty, sneaking a dagger into the royal ball... until the guards take him into the back room for questioning about the dagger floating along at his side.

Amador
2011-01-31, 09:04 PM
Longsword of Frost Spheres: When this longsword hits something it produces a sphere of ice 1 foot in diameter, requiring a dc 17 STR check to break the sword free.

kestrel404
2011-01-31, 09:09 PM
Longsword of Frost Spheres: When this longsword hits something it produces a sphere of ice 1 foot in diameter, requiring a dc 17 STR check to break the sword free.

Yay, infinite ice water! That would be great in the desert, or any warm environment.

Ravens_cry
2011-01-31, 09:57 PM
Longsword of Frost Spheres: When this longsword hits something it produces a sphere of ice 1 foot in diameter, requiring a dc 17 STR check to break the sword free.Yea for fleshgrinding!

Jack_Simth
2011-01-31, 09:58 PM
Yay, infinite ice water! That would be great in the desert, or any warm environment.
Plus, you know, trapping smaller creatures fairly effectively....

Most things have *a* use, you just have to get creative, and/or locate fairly specialized circumstances. For instance...

Well, I'd say that's only if you're assuming that anything stored in the pockets of the coat is also invisible. I would add an addendum to the coat that specifies that anything put in the pockets of the coat are also invisible to the wearer.

That way, he thinks he's being all crafty, sneaking a dagger into the royal ball... until the guards take him into the back room for questioning about the dagger floating along at his side.
Really handy if you want to emphasize someone as a spellcaster:
Drop a few exotic items in the pockets, have the ranger put it on, and... oops, someone's targeting the obviously magical guy with Fort and Reflex save effects!

Also really handy if you want to make *some other* item seem magical. "Obviously it has magic to it; see how it follows me around? Yes, I know it doesn't register with even a faint aura, surely something that's obviously magical, yet has no magical aura - wasn't it only artifacts that do that? - oh yes, and even things that have recently had magic worked on them carry such; here, it's easy enough to demonstrate that" does so (Mage Hand on a pebble will cause the pebble to have a Dim aura for 1d6 rounds) "Ah, you suspect foul play with such spells as Magic Aura. Of course - that's simple enough to refute; dispel the artifact as you please, and lock it in a safe overnight. I can assure you it will have exactly the same lack of magical aura for any reasonable timeframe...."

Worlok
2011-02-01, 03:31 PM
This coat wouldn't happen to have pockets would it, like almost any coat? If so, definitely useful.
... should have gone with a cape. Capes should be entirely useless, non? :smallconfused:


I would add an addendum to the coat that specifies that anything put in the pockets of the coat are also invisible to the wearer.
That could make it more useless, true. Also, funnier. :smallbiggrin:

But I think I'll update the whole thing to a cape, just to drive the point home:

The Cape of Many Colors
This cape changes color every 1d4+1 rounds. It is also invisible. Moderate illusion.

Now I challenge you to make any use of the turntoad! Except throwing it. :smalltongue:

Jay R
2011-02-01, 04:20 PM
I wrote up a bunch of these for a Space Gamer contest years ago.

Ring of Invulnerability. The ring can never be destroyed.

Rod of Beguiling with infinite charges, but only works when submerged in the ichor of C'thulhu

Coin of Indecision. A gold coin with the word "YES" on one side and the word "NO" on the other. If it is flipped while asking a question, the coin always lands on edge.

Arrow of Direction. A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

Staff of Ever-Changing. A stout oaken staff that turns into a roll of raw silk when used as a weapon.

Scabbard of Sword Resistance. No sword can be sheathed in it

Lance of Quixote. +10 vs. windmills; -2 against any other target if a windmill is within 400 yards.

Set
2011-02-01, 05:26 PM
Illusory Torch - instead of using the traditional continual flame, this gnomish 'genius' decided to use a shadow evocation of the light spell, creating a torch that glows with 'light' that is made of energy from the plane of shadows. Anyone in the radius of the torch is convinced that they can see just fine, and their imagination tends to fill in the blanks for them, but don't actually see anything that they didn't already see before the torch was lit. New creatures entering the area, if there is no other light source, are effectively invisible to them, and any sort of change in terrain (such as a gaping hole in the floor) will not be visible to them.

Ascetic's Bowl - using a prestidigitation spell, a monk who eschewed the luxuries of life was gifted with a plain-looking bowl that removes the flavor from any food placed within it, leaving it bland and tasteless. No characteristic other than flavor (and odor) is changed by the cantrip.

Teetotaler's Tankard - any alcoholic beverage placed within this finely-adorned flagon (or mead-horn) is purified and becomes pure water. Other beverages, such as milk, fruit juice or black adder venom, are not purified, only alcoholic beverages, and an alcoholic beverage that contains other liquids (or items), becomes water containing other liquids (or items).

Crown of Kingly Bearing - this crown looks fabulous, and it knows it. It looks good on many wearers (and complains bitterly when it's gracing the head of someone who isn't up to it's rigorous standards, although it will offer advice, such as 'burn that outfit,' or 'if you shave down the middle, people might think you have *two* eyebrows'), it looks good on the bedstand, it looks especially good on the velvet pillow that it prefers to be carried upon, by someone who is at least marginally attractive, and willing to flatter it with praise.

Attentive Guardsman's Tabard - a dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamor that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

Attentive Gaurdsman's Pike - these ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, and that's not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack (Will save for no damage), being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place, when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a 'resting his eyes' guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under it's own power, while his hand sags off of it.

Eye Stone - this polished spherical stone is glamered to appear as a living human eye. If picked up, it changes color and appearance to match the holders eye(s), and if placed within an empty eye-socket, it moves in tandem with any remaining eye, and appears completely real, able to blink, tear up, etc. What it cannot do, is see. It's just a pretty rock.

Eye of Horus - this special pigment is found in a small clay container, and if smeared even roughly on the face of a humanoid individual, flows into the shape of the Eye of Horus, like a henna tattoo around the left eye. One round later, the wearer takes 1 hp of fire damage as the henna sears itself into the skin, and becomes a permanant tattoo. As long as this tattoo remains (and it can only be removed magically), Horus, ancient Egyptian god of vengeance, can see out of your left eye. Several thousand of these were made by a priest of Set, as a cruel joke, and administered to nobles all over the upper kingdom without warning them of their true purpose (or that it would hurt...). Horus is beyond caring what any of these eyes show him, at this point, since there are so many of them, and the only thing he can do is ignore them all.

A Bard's Tail - Sahima, a half-elven bard of some repute, was believed to be a tiefling, and played the role with gusto, enjoying the notoriety. She had a special outfit crafted, of which all that remains is her 'devil tail.' A leather belt, with an attached 'devil tail,' when worn, the belt fades from view, leaving only the tail visible, and under the mental control of the wearer, who can use it as a limb with a strength score of 1, able to hold a potion flask, or other small item, for ease of use. (She used it to strum her harp, in complex 'three-handed' melodies, and occasionally to cheat at cards.)

Ilmryn
2011-02-01, 08:00 PM
I wrote up a bunch of these for a Space Gamer contest years ago.

Ring of Invulnerability. The ring can never be destroyed.

Rod of Beguiling with infinite charges, but only works when submerged in the ichor of C'thulhu

Coin of Indecision. A gold coin with the word "YES" on one side and the word "NO" on the other. If it is flipped while asking a question, the coin always lands on edge.

Arrow of Direction. A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

Staff of Ever-Changing. A stout oaken staff that turns into a roll of raw silk when used as a weapon.

Scabbard of Sword Resistance. No sword can be sheathed in it

Lance of Quixote. +10 vs. windmills; -2 against any other target if a windmill is within 400 yards.

I believe you have read Murphy's Rules...

Then there is the rod of rulership with 500 charges...which only works when submerged in the blood of Chthulhu, although some plazers would probablz figure out how to obtain said blood....:smalleek:

Jack_Simth
2011-02-01, 10:49 PM
The Cape of Many Colors
This cape changes color every 1d4+1 rounds. It is also invisible. Moderate illusion.

Now I challenge you to make any use of the turntoad! Except throwing it. :smalltongue:
Suppose you know there's a leak in your organization, and have spies in the organization that has penetrated yours, but don't know who's reporting back.

Step 1:
Find someone unkown to your organization. Put the cape on that person.
Step 2:
Tout the person as being extremely good at gaging who might be a spy (sight unseen).
Step 3:
Invisibility Purge, so the cape can be seen by all.
Step 4:
Have everyone in your organization meet this person, briefly, once, in isolation. Record who sees which color.
Step 5:
Have your spies report back the color reported by the opposition spy in his description of the interrogator.
Step 6:
The person who saw the color that matches up with the other report is very likely the source of the leak. Plug by whatever method suits your alignment (whether that's disinformation, homicide, mind control, or something else).

There. You use the turntoad to help you locate a turncoat. The fact that it changes colors is instrumental in making it work (although you could, of course, just use Prestidigitation for the same effect).

With enough creativity, and the exact right circumstances, almost anything can be useful.

Jay R
2011-02-02, 12:31 AM
I wrote up a bunch of these for a Space Gamer contest years ago.

...

I believe you have read Murphy's Rules...

Then there is the rod of rulership with 500 charges...which only works when submerged in the blood of Chthulhu, although some plazers would probablz figure out how to obtain said blood....:smalleek:

"...read..." Murphy's Rules? Not quite. That article was published in Murphy's Rules, and before that in Fantasy Gamer #1, both times correctly credited to me.

But you are correct that I had originally written a Rod of Rulership, and misremembered it as a Rod of Beguiling.

Demonic_Spoon
2012-04-04, 02:02 AM
Ring of Invulnerability. The ring can never be destroyed.



Haunt shift into the ring? You cannae be destroyed laddy!

lotusblossom13
2012-04-04, 07:27 PM
[QUOTE=Jay R;10283059]Ring of Invulnerability. The ring can never be destroyed.

That would make a ridiculously broken (or rather invincible) phylactery

Sith_Happens
2012-04-05, 06:30 AM
How useless is "completely useless?" I'm sure someone could come up with a way to abuse this one, but mostly it's just fun:

Defenestrating
Price: +200 gp
Property: Melee weapon.
Caster Level: 3rd
Aura: Faint; (DC 17) conjuration, transmutation
Activation: ---

If an attack made using a weapon with this property reduces a creature to zero or fewer hitpoints, a stained-glass window is created adjacent to that creatute on the side opposite to the wielder, upright and facing the wielder. The window is the same size category as the target creature and may have a design of the wielder's choice, chosen mentally at the time of the attack. Otherwise, it depicts a choir of angels.

In addition, apply the effects of the Knockback feat (see page 142 of Races of Stone) to the attack that triggered this effect, as if the wielder qualified for and possessed the feat (she does not have to be using Power Attack in this case). The attempted bull rush must be in the direction of the summoned window, and the target creature is treated as if it had rolled a 1 on its opposed strength check. The window shatters upon contact with the bull-rushed creature and does not impede its movement in any way. Any shards of broken glass that come in contact with the ground immediately vanish.

Prerequisite: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Prestidigitation, Heroics.
Cost to Create: 100 gp, 8 XP, 1 day.


EDIT 10/18/12: The ability description now more consistently uses the word "creature," and explicitly states what happens when the bull-rushed creature impacts the conjured window. In addition, as originally written the window and the glass composing it were permanent, and therefore a Defenstrating weapon could be reasonably argued to turn squares into difficult terrain or otherwise impair movement by way the broken glass littering the ground.

Ravens_cry
2012-04-05, 06:43 AM
Haunt shift into the ring? You cannae be destroyed laddy!
Speaking of necromancy . . .

Knight13
2012-04-05, 11:50 AM
Defenestrating
Price: +200 gp
Property: Melee weapon.
Caster Level: 3rd
Aura: Faint; (DC 17) conjuration, transmutation
Activation: ---

If an attack made using a weapon with this property reduces a target to zero or fewer hitpoints, a stained-glass window is summoned adjacent to the target on the side opposite to the wielder, upright and facing the wielder. The window is the same size category as the target and may have a design of the wielder's choice, chosen mentally at the time of the attack. Otherwise, it depicts a choir of angels.

In addition, apply the effects of the Knockback feat (see page 142 of Races of Stone) to the attack that triggered this effect, as if the wielder qualified for and possessed the feat (she does not have to be using Power Attack in this case). The attempted bull rush must be in the direction of the summoned window, and the target is treated as if it had rolled a 1 on its opposed strength check.

Prerequisite: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Prestidigitation, Heroics.
Cost to Create: 100 gp, 8 XP, 1 day.

Someone's been playing Kingdoms of Amalur. :smalltongue:

Sith_Happens
2012-04-05, 06:39 PM
Someone's been playing Kingdoms of Amalur. :smalltongue:

Is that in Kingdoms or Amalur?:smallconfused: If so, then I definitely need to get that game.:smallbiggrin:

I actually got the idea from the second "Things I May No Longer Do While Playing" thread, namely a post involving various hitting-people-through-things-related silliness, ending with "plate-glass window summoning is not a valid weapon enhancement."

Knight13
2012-04-05, 07:25 PM
Well, you can't do it just anywhere, but one of the boss fights does end with you homerunning his ass through a stained glass window.

Antonok
2012-04-06, 01:13 PM
Rod of Wonder: When activated, makes a random 'I wonder' statement.

Examples:

I wonder why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

I wonder why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

I wonder why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

I wonder why if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I wonder why, if money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

I wonder why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

I wonder, can you cry under water?

Jay R
2012-04-08, 06:58 PM
Ring of Invulnerability. The ring can never be destroyed.

That would make a ridiculously broken (or rather invincible) phylactery

It's invulnerable, which includes being impenetrable. If I'm being a kind DM, you can never put your soul in it.

If I'm being the other kind, you can never get it back out.

Bastian Weaver
2012-04-09, 06:05 PM
A use for the turntoad, hmm? Let's see.
How about scaring someone by showing him the turntoad so that he sees that it's just a little statue, tell him you're going to watch his every step, then say "Watch him closely, little toad" and put the turntoad on the ground, facing away from the person you're talking to.
Then you leave, and he notices that the toad statue has turned around to face him.
And it keeps turning to stare at him as he tries to turn it away.
This probably would end in throwing away/destruction of the turntoad, but it would make the victim very nervous.

dps
2012-04-09, 10:42 PM
Sandals of Bedwetting--Whoever wears this item will wet themselvesduring their next sleep or rest cycle.

Gnomish Wanderer
2012-04-09, 11:16 PM
Illusory Torch - instead of using the traditional continual flame, this gnomish 'genius' decided to use a shadow evocation of the light spell, creating a torch that glows with 'light' that is made of energy from the plane of shadows. Anyone in the radius of the torch is convinced that they can see just fine, and their imagination tends to fill in the blanks for them, but don't actually see anything that they didn't already see before the torch was lit. New creatures entering the area, if there is no other light source, are effectively invisible to them, and any sort of change in terrain (such as a gaping hole in the floor) will not be visible to them.

-snip-

A Bard's Tail - Sahima, a half-elven bard of some repute, was believed to be a tiefling, and played the role with gusto, enjoying the notoriety. She had a special outfit crafted, of which all that remains is her 'devil tail.' A leather belt, with an attached 'devil tail,' when worn, the belt fades from view, leaving only the tail visible, and under the mental control of the wearer, who can use it as a limb with a strength score of 1, able to hold a potion flask, or other small item, for ease of use. (She used it to strum her harp, in complex 'three-handed' melodies, and occasionally to cheat at cards.)

I love both of these ideas. Toss the first into a room and it's like you have instant invisibility. The second is a free hand! Hide the tail in your pants or something and it becomes awesome to sneak items that you REALLY don't want stolen around.

Andezzar
2012-10-20, 04:58 AM
Where does the victim of the defenestrating weapon go? placing a window on a wall underground could lead to interesting consequences.

Sith_Happens
2012-10-20, 10:28 AM
Where does the victim of the defenestrating weapon go? placing a window on a wall underground could lead to interesting consequences.

Introducing our newest Useless But Fun Magic Item: Scroll of Animate Thread.:smalltongue:

To answer your question though, when a bull-rushed creature hits a wall it generally just stops.

Andezzar
2012-10-20, 11:03 AM
I get that, but if the target just breaks the glass and lands in front of the window, it would look silly. Well sillier than than the situation already looks. Maybe the target could go through the window and if behind the window there is only solid matter, it would be teleported behind the wielder of the weapon.

You could even make a rod or staff from that scroll :smallwink:
Depending on the meaning of the word thread this could even be a useful item.

Nyes the Dark
2012-10-20, 08:27 PM
Ring of Arousal: The first person or creature the wearer sees upon putting the ring on appears to the wearer as the most attractive person they have ever seen of appropriate gender (i.e. of a woman for a straight man, or a man for a gay man). The wearer must make a Will Save to resist their urges.

Jacob.Tyr
2012-10-21, 12:25 AM
Stick of pointing: At will, this 1' long tree branch can be used to indicate an object within 100' of the user. Must have line of sight to the object.

TuggyNE
2012-10-21, 01:04 AM
The double necromancy, it burns us, precious!

(Seriously, this is a great thread, but let it go already.)

Sith_Happens
2012-10-21, 06:45 AM
The double necromancy, it burns us, precious!

(Seriously, this is a great thread, but let it go already.)

It's probably my fault for linking my Defenestrating Weapon post in another thread without explicitly mentioning that it's a dead thread. Oops.:smallredface:

Vknight
2012-10-22, 10:53 PM
Pendant of Time
The pendant may be put on a surface with twelve markings in a circle to keep track of time

Ring of Owlbear
A ring that is made of a owl bear knuckle which annoys bears and owls when near

Boots of Walking backwards
The wearer of the boots appears to be walking backwards when they move forwards

Sith_Happens
2012-10-22, 11:13 PM
*cough*

http://cdn.head-fi.org/7/73/7329b4cf_threadNecromancy.jpg

Please let dead threads lie.

Hanuman
2012-10-26, 08:35 PM
I love this thread.

Breadbox of Toasteporting
1/day (command word) this wondrous item can cast Teleport as the spell on any mundane non-magical bread that is inside of it, on arrival the bread is toasted and hardened as if slow-baked. The breadbox must be closed for this ability to function.
If the bread is teleported into a wall or other solid material it ejects out of the nearest open area within 500' as 5d20 croutons, dealing 1 point of nonlethal damage for every 20 croutons ejected within a 15' cone.
If there is no open area within 500' the bread is sent to the ethereal plane on that location instead.
By uttering the command word again without usage of the teleport function the bread instead regains it's original freshness as if it were just baked, and it also changes to another random type of mundane non-magical, safely edible bread.

By expending a usage of Heroes Feast (as the spell), you may over-charge the breadbox, upon uttering the command word the breadbox explodes creating an instant heroes feast and consuming the wondrous item in the process. If used in an environment that would require concentration it has a 50% chance to fail, discharging the feast in a shockwave and destroying it's contents and exploding within a 30' area causing Grease (as the spell) within the area of effect on all objects, ceilings, creatures and walls inside the area because of food and drink, and knocking creatures down who fail a DC15 balance, reflex or fortitude save. Creatures who have even partial cover can use the knockdown DC to avoid the full effect, gaining a +4 on partial cover and +10 on full cover.

ReaderAt2046
2012-10-26, 08:51 PM
-Ring of Talking to Fruit: Guess what this does...

-Sword of Cherry Tapping: +5 bonus against targets with 1 or fewer HP remaining.

-Ring of Idraam. When triggered, automatically casts summon monster I once per turn until turned back off, effective caster level 20. You do not control the summoned monsters.

-Mug of Extreme Drunkeness: You get twice as drunk on beer from this mug as any other beer. Also has an auto-refill enchantment so it's always full.

Hanuman
2012-10-26, 09:07 PM
Sippycup of the Unknowable
This mug fills and changes it's contents every 10 rounds, and cannot spill unless it is attended and the user intentionally does so, even then any spilled contents immediately turn into small amounts of water vapor and dissipate.

The inside of the cup is an extra-dimensional space that is only out-going, nothing can detect inside of this space, the walls of the mug will ruin, destroy and remove any contents of the mug if the mug is pierced in any way.

If the user of the mug intentionally drinks from it, the liquid streams from the cup into their mouth without dissipating into vapor.

The mug normally produces random liquids, but it also is passively psychoactive and may take context from it's surroundings.

A DC30 wisdom check can force it to produce only one kind of preferred liquid for 1d100 rounds minus 10, minimum 0. (DM rolls in secret.)

ReaderAt2046
2012-10-26, 09:21 PM
Ring of Aphasia:

When worn, causes you to speak only in cryptograms. The encryption key changes every round, and any translation spells automatically fail.

Xeno's Teleportation Ring. Teleports you half of the remaining distance to any location.

Gloves of Adhesion. Both sides of these gloves are enchanted to form an unbreakable bond to the first thing they touch. Activated by being put on someone's hands.

Bow of Sneezing: Roll damage regularly for arrows fired from this bow, however, instead of reducing the target's Hp, the target has an uncontrollable sneezing fit for a number of rounds equal to the damage dealt.

Scroll of Summoning Banjuhlu: Just... not a good idea.

Hanuman
2012-10-31, 04:59 AM
Giblin's Lyre:
This masterwork instrument has many peculiar abilities:
Each string of this lyre has an effect when tightened or relaxed (30').
-E) Cools or warms beverages and small bodies of liquid slightly, from cold to warm or warm to cold.
-A) Shrinks or expands clothing slightly, from tight fitting to baggy or baggy to tight fitting.
-D) Polishes or tarnishes reflective surfaces, from shiny to matte or matte to polished.
-G) Cosmetically revitalizes or withers plants, from supple to withered or withered to supple.
-B) Changes hue of random objects, cycling through red, yellow, green, original, blue, pink, tuning changes them up a stage or down a stage.
-E^) Intensifies or blands food, from OK to tasty or from OK to bland or from bad to worse or from great to amazing. (1 step maximum)

Playing this instrument for 1 consecutive minute will turn wooden or hollow objects within 30' into soundboards as if they were acoustic and connected to the instrument until you stop playing, allowing you to project sound from it as if it were also the instrument, extending the instruments earshot range by 40' and creating a warm and complete sound.

1/day when this instrument is broken it will cast mending on itself as if readied.

Andezzar
2012-10-31, 05:20 AM
Xeno's Teleportation Ring. Teleports you half of the remaining distance to any location.If this works at will, it is a very useful item. If it only works 1/day it still would reduce traveling times.


Gloves of Adhesion. Both sides of these gloves are enchanted to form an unbreakable bond to the first thing they touch. Activated by being put on someone's hands.Sounds like a pretty standard cursed item. Not useless but fun.


Bow of Sneezing: Roll damage regularly for arrows fired from this bow, however, instead of reducing the target's Hp, the target has an uncontrollable sneezing fit for a number of rounds equal to the damage dealt.If sneezing is equivalent to dazed, this again is very useful.

The lyre is very useful as well.

razorback
2012-10-31, 07:16 AM
Originally Posted by ReaderAt2046 View Post
Xeno's Teleportation Ring. Teleports you half of the remaining distance to any location.
If this works at will, it is a very useful item. If it only works 1/day it still would reduce traveling times.

With permission, I'm so handing one of these out next time.

Hey, we have this cool ring of teleportation. Let's use it to get to that island over there instead of taking a boat.

Andezzar
2012-10-31, 07:53 AM
With permission, I'm so handing one of these out next time.

Hey, we have this cool ring of teleportation. Let's use it to get to that island over there instead of taking a boat.Anyone using magic items before identifying them deserves whatever happens to them. Identify will reveal this unless of course the item is cursed.

Kornaki
2012-10-31, 09:36 AM
Once you know the effect it becomes a ring of teleportation - you just teleport to a location twice as far away as your intended destination

Sgt. Cookie
2012-10-31, 10:54 AM
I posted this in the "Fun minor loot thread" in the 3.5 section, but it could fit here.





A small mechanical mouse, thoroughly worthless, except as a curiosity, that gives off a faint magical aura (It gives 1 xp to an Artificer for crafting), that awakens at the touch of a hand.

Upon activation, this mouse does everything a regular mouse does, scurries across the floor, cleans itself, hibernates in winter and even squeaks! It does not eat or drink though. It never strays too far from the person that activated it. Though they have no direct control over the mouse, it will attempt to copy what the activator is doing, broadly speaking.

For example, if a rogue activated it and was moving silently, the mouse would follow suit and also move silently, if the rogue was sleeping, so would the mouse.

The mouse can be used as a familiar, if so desired.

TuggyNE
2012-10-31, 06:28 PM
Once you know the effect it becomes a ring of teleportation - you just teleport to a location twice as far away as your intended destination

More precisely, it becomes a ring of annoyingly geometric teleportation: make a DC 30 Knowledge: Local check to ensure you've gotten the right target. :smalltongue:

Erik Vale
2012-10-31, 07:26 PM
Once you know the effect it becomes a ring of teleportation - you just teleport to a location twice as far away as your intended destination

But if the ring can actually tell you want to land at half way, or exactly where you want to land, it just puts you half way there, preventing deliberate overshoot cheese.

My item:
Stone of Flaring Light: Acts as a stone of Alarm, however instead of waking people with a high pitched sound and waking people up, it hits everyone in the area with a Flare spell (as per flare, caster level varies based on the stone). The spell has only a 50% chance of waking a sleeping person.

It will make sure the guy on watch notices people have entered, but you still need a guy on watch.

ReaderAt2046
2012-10-31, 08:30 PM
But if the ring can actually tell you want to land at half way, or exactly where you want to land, it just puts you half way there, preventing deliberate overshoot cheese.


Of course.

New items: Belt of Weight Loss. Contains a levitate spell keyed to body fat and an alter self that makes you look like you have about half as much body fat as you really do. Both spells automatically activate when the belt is donned.

Scrub's Flour: When tossed into the air, one handful fills a 15' by 15' region. An exceptionally cheesy charactger entering a space occupied by the flour causes it and the cheese to annihilate each other violently, dealing 10d6 of damage to the cheesebearer and 50d6 damage to anyone within 100 ft (Reflex save to take half damage.) Such a detonation removes all flour from the square entered by the cheesy character.

Erik Vale
2012-10-31, 08:41 PM
Scrubs flour is useful. Run an epic multi-stalt game, and just send goblins equiped with this against them.

MesiDoomstalker
2012-11-01, 12:44 AM
Scrubs flour is useful. Run an epic multi-stalt game, and just send goblins equiped with this against them.

Except at that level 50d6 is insignificant.

Dimers
2012-11-01, 03:49 AM
I love this thread.

Breadbox of Toasteporting
1/day (command word) this wondrous item can cast Teleport as the spell on any mundane non-magical bread that is inside of it, on arrival the bread is toasted and hardened as if slow-baked. The breadbox must be closed for this ability to function.

Sorry, but that's useful -- you could write a vitally important message in marble rye and send it hundreds of miles away to a receiving station, where the Royal Spymaster will read and act on it. "Quickly, buy me a loaf of pumpernickel and two scrolls of meld bread! These insane cultists must be stopped!"

To say nothing of the fact that it could keep a nigh-inaccessible watchtower supplied with foodstuffs year-round ... my god, the possibilities are endless!

:smalltongue:

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-11, 05:14 PM
Brain Bleach: When poured on you head, erases whatever thoughts and/or memories are on your mind at the moment. The only known way to permanently get things like this (http://ffn.nodwick.com/?p=81) or this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6644804&postcount=66)out of your head, but each thought erased costs 100 xp and if this drops you below the xp required for your current level you actually go down a level.

Orb of Finding. While holding this perfectly uniform blue sphere, concentrate on any object, person, or character, and the orb will rotate to face it.

Scroll of Dispel Clothes. Should be self-evident what this does.

Wand of Cold. Ranged touch attack, gives the target a cold.

Erik Vale
2012-11-11, 07:22 PM
Brain Bleach: When poured on you head, erases whatever thoughts and/or memories are on your mind at the moment. The only known way to permanently get things like this (http://ffn.nodwick.com/?p=81) or this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=6644804&postcount=66)out of your head, but each thought erased costs 100 xp and if this drops you below the xp required for your current level you actually go down a level.

Orb of Finding. While holding this perfectly uniform blue sphere, concentrate on any object, person, or character, and the orb will rotate to face it.

Scroll of Dispel Clothes. Should be self-evident what this does.

Wand of Cold. Ranged touch attack, gives the target a cold.

Put a drop of ink or something on the sphere, and it becomes useful, and the wand of dispel clothes. Ever thought of removing the BBEG's Armour?

Cealocanth
2012-11-11, 07:49 PM
Let's see...

Here at O'malley's magic shop we have a fine selection of magic items for everyday folks. Our sales today include:

Hat of Water Repulsion: Wear this hat and not a drop of water will touch your head!

Boots of Minor Mud Resistance: These boots will shed mud with ease. One charge.

Wine Glass of Drink Chilling: Any liquid poured in this glass will be chilled to a "only slightly too cold so it makes your teeth hurt" temperature.

Door of Closing: This door will close itself when opened.

Statue of Planetary Mass: This statue will get heavier whenever you try to lift it.

Idol of Minor Time Reversal: When touched, this idol will reverse time to the point just before you touched it.

Crown of Limited Shininess: This crown will never tarnish as long as it's polished daily.

Chest of Lessened Storage: This chest can only hold half of what an ordinary chest of the same size can hold.

Edit: Ring of Being Just a Little Too Tight: This ring will almost fit everyone

String of Tangling: This small amount of string will always be tangled. It costs 4d6 rounds to untangle it, in which case, it will magically tangle itself again.

Mobius Wheels: These wheels can be manufactured to fit a variety of vehicles. They only have one side, ensuring a bumpy ride.

Sword of Paper Cuts: All attacks made with this sword will deal less than one point of damage, and create no cut bigger than a paper cut. All wounds made by this sword are fairly painful, and will heal naturally in about a day.

Opportunistic Sword: This weapon will sprout small metallic legs and run away when no one is watching.

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-11, 10:33 PM
Opportunistic Sword: This weapon will sprout small metallic legs and run away when no one is watching.

Very nice.

A set of six potions, each granting -4 to the apprpriate ability score.

Potion of Grashopper's Strength
Potion of Rhino's Grace.
Potion of Mayfly's Endurance
Potion of Sheep's Cunning
Potion of Lemming's Wisdom
Potion of Warthog's Splendor.

And...

Goggles of Gaze Protection. Ordinary goggles with opaque plastic lenses. These make you immune to gaze attacks, but render you effectively blind.

Glasses of Glowiness. Anything you look at through these glasses appears to be glowing as per the light spell.

navar100
2012-11-11, 11:20 PM
Hammer of Dwarven Thrower

When wielded by a dwarf, this hammer throws the dwarf 30 ft in a random direction.

Bag of Holding

Upon first opening the bag, a voice speaks in a language the user can understand. The user is told the bag contains important information the user needs to know. It then tells the use to hang on a second while it rummages through its memory. The bag speaks no more.

The Singing Frog

Often found buried in a deep hole or container, the user who finds this enchanting frog discovers it is intelligent. It has 20 ranks in Perform (sing) and sings such beautiful music. Unfortunately, only the owner gets to hear the performance when they are alone. No matter how hard the owner tries to get others to hear the frog, the frog always manages to finish its current song by the time another person is in hearing range (5 ft). It then behaves in all ways as a normal frog. When the owner and frog are alone again, the frog starts singing again. The only way to rid oneself of the frog is to bury it in a deep hole or container.

nedz
2012-11-12, 03:38 AM
Ring of Achillean Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you 9/10ths of the distance to your target location. You then fall asleep, no save. If undisturbed you will sleep for as long as it would take a tortoise to walk the same distance.

Ring of Gygaxian Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you d% of the distance to your target location. You will then have a CR appropriate random encounter: roll initiative.

Crystal Ball of the Sponsor.
Make a DC 30 Will save. If successful this functions as a regular crystal ball, otherwise it shows an image of some merchant who will try to sell you some household products. It is always the same merchant.

Andezzar
2012-11-12, 04:10 AM
Ring of Achillean Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you 9/10ths of the distance to your target location. You then fall asleep, no save. If undisturbed you will sleep for as long as it would take a tortoise to walk the same distance.Not usable by elves I hope.


Ring of Gygaxian Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you d% of the distance to your target location. You will then have a CR appropriate random encounter: roll initiative.

Crystal Ball of the Sponsor.
Make a DC 30 Will save. If successful this functions as a regular crystal ball, otherwise it shows an image of some merchant who will try to sell you some household products. It is always the same merchant.LOL

Sutremaine
2012-11-12, 02:09 PM
Ring of Gygaxian Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you d% of the distance to your target location. You will then have a CR appropriate random encounter: roll initiative.
Do you get the appropriate XP from this encounter? If so, use it with walking-distance teleports (to keep you close to your base of operations) and get your very own personalised level grinder.

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-12, 04:51 PM
Hammer of Dwarven Thrower

When wielded by a dwarf, this hammer throws the dwarf 30 ft in a random direction.



:smallbiggrin:

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-13, 02:37 AM
Case of the litigator

Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non reversable. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

Partisan cravat

This brightly colored tie is sympathetic and will change its hue to a colour calculated to cause the maximum amount of hostility in anyone who sees it.

Andezzar
2012-11-13, 04:17 AM
Case of the litigator

Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non reversable. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.Will it turn what the writer of the original document intended into legal jargon or what he actually wrote? The former would be really useful, the latter not so much but still not useless.

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-13, 06:47 AM
Unless your willing to pay a lawyer an exorbitant fee then you will never know; even then you only have his word for it.

Qwertystop
2012-11-13, 07:45 AM
Unless your willing to pay a lawyer an exorbitant fee then you will never know; even then you only have his word for it.

Not true. Usually legal jargon is understandable if you spend more than half a second looking at it. And actually think about it.

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-13, 08:39 AM
Then they are not trying hard enough. How do they expect to get past that demonic internship stage if their blood drenched contracts are actually decipherable.

Andezzar
2012-11-13, 09:44 AM
Legal jargon like any other specialized language does not have the objective to confuse people not versed in that language, it has the objective to make things clear (to insiders at least).

Also contracts between devils and unfortunate (or greedy depending on the standpoint) persons usually do not screw the other party over by making the contract difficult to understand but by provoking certain expectations in that party that aren't actually in the text.

At least D&D demons couldn't care less about contracts.

Jay R
2012-11-13, 10:05 AM
Ring of Gygaxian Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you d% of the distance to your target location. You will then have a CR appropriate random encounter: roll initiative.

If the encounter is always CR appropriate, then it is NOT Gygaxian.

nedz
2012-11-13, 01:10 PM
If the encounter is always CR appropriate, then it is NOT Gygaxian.
Hmmm, fair point. I guess I'd better re-write it.

Ring of Gygaxian Teleportation.
This ring will teleport you d% of the distance to your target location. You will then have a random encounter: roll initiative.

navar100
2012-11-13, 02:26 PM
Feather of Ring Falling

Anyone holding this feather have their rings fall off.

Soup Stone

Placing this stone in a pot of boiling water provides a soup of clear warm water. Consuming this soup automatically grants you a Diplomacy check with a +5 circumstance bonus that convinces others nearby to contribute vegetables and meat to the soup, providing nourishment to all who contribute including the stone provider.

MesiDoomstalker
2012-11-13, 04:16 PM
Feather of Ring Falling

Anyone holding this feather have their rings fall off.

All I see is "This item lets you use a Diplomacy check in place of a Disarm to remove the target's rings, magical or otherwise."

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-13, 04:26 PM
Times arrow

This arrow has a powerful time stop enchantment place upon it. As it gets closer to its target time for the projectile progressively slows down. In the ed it will remain suspended in mid air scant millimeters away from the target (or where the target was until it got bored and wandered off).

Ring of denomination

This ring can exchange golds to an equivalent value of silvers and visa versa minus 12.5%

Qwertystop
2012-11-13, 04:34 PM
All I see is "This item lets you use a Diplomacy check in place of a Disarm to remove the target's rings, magical or otherwise."

Plus any slotless items fluffed as earrings, nose rings, other piercings shaped like rings, or Ioun Stones that happen to be toroidal.

Oh, would chainmail count as lots and lots of rings?

eulmanis12
2012-11-14, 08:52 AM
*Cannon of Canon: A cannon that when loaded with a piece of literature and fired at a church immediatly causes whatever is in the literature to become part of the canon of that religion.

*Rod of Wander: A rod that causes the owner to have no sense of direction.

*Relative Pole: A twenty foot pole that decreases in length as your speed increases.

*Pole Vault: A large Safe that is always filled with poles of various lengths, ranging from 10' to 42'

*Polish remover: A duel purpose potion that when rubbed on an object causes it to no longer be shiny. Also causes anyone from Poland to dissapear.

*The Axe of Bar: Whenever a trap is spotted by the owner this axe immediatly points to the trap and loudly announces "ITS A TRAP!"

*Potable Hole: A hole that is not portable, but is full of water that is safe to drink.

*Potion of Reguritation: a potion that immediatly causes the user to vomit

*Violin of Violence: A violin that when played produces music so bad that all within 20' immediatly become hostile

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-14, 09:12 AM
*Cannon of Canon

And if you can't think of a way to abuse that you aren't really trying; The ability to manipulate any religion in almost anyway you see fit :smallamused:

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-14, 01:43 PM
Half scroll of wishing. To any examination or divination this appears to be a scoll of wishing, however, if it is actually cast it will give the caster exactly half of whatever he wished for.

Ring of Dubiously True Seeing: Grants the wearer true seeing as long as he's wearing it, but also causes him to see random hallucinations, indistinguishable from what he sees via True Seeing.

navar100
2012-11-14, 02:06 PM
I've actually used this one several times. Got interesting results.

NPC Of Three Wishes

An old man who does not speak. He is only capable of answering yes or no questions by nodding/shaking his head. He knows everything there is to know, but it is up to the questioner (the PCs) to ask the questions. This NPC is willing to travel with the party if asked. Only the party, deities, and particular unique beings know he is there. Whenever any player, in or out of character, says anything along with the word "wish" that wish is immediately granted with least harm to the wisher as possible. After the third wish is granted, the old man disappears.

My favorite wish: In a 2E game the party met a werewolf who wasn't attacking. While unknowing the nature of the old man, the paladin player sighed "I wish I could cure you." Wish granted. Paladin could expend a Remove Disease and cure the werewolf of his lycanthropy.

Hanuman
2012-11-16, 12:33 PM
Coat of Arms

This magical coat can produce 1d12 arms per day from it's pockets, they do not include hands or shoulders and cannot be animated into flesh constructs nor into the undead. They do not have a taste and do not provide nutrition.
They do not contain blood.


Ring of Faith

Once per day if the character and her party are unsure whether an action would be fatal to the ring's wearer the wearer may call upon her god to take a +2 save against fear caused by performing the action herself.

navar100
2012-11-16, 01:26 PM
Broom Of Sweeping

The broom of sweeping can be used to clear dust, dirt, and debris along the ground.

Cup of Holding

This item can be used to hold any liquid filling a volume up to its size. This function does not prevent putting small solid objects into the cup if one desires instead.

Medic!
2012-11-16, 01:52 PM
I had a bard in one campaign with a hat that could be changed at will to any sort of headgear. Each round I would declare what my hat was, from fedora with a roc's feather in it to a derby to a top-hat to a ball-cap to a cowboy hat, etc, ad nauseum.

That hat went through 3 PCs from different parties as folks would kill the owner for it, creating a vicious circle of death and snappy dressing.

Proud Tortoise
2012-11-19, 09:50 AM
A staff of raise dead used by the necrophobic undertaker to raise bodies into coffins.

Necklace of necklace empowering increases the power of any other necklace worn (but doesn't enable the wearing of a ssecond)

Joe the Rat
2012-11-19, 11:04 AM
Feather of Ring Falling

Anyone holding this feather have their rings fall off.

This seems like one of those items that's mostly useless, except for specific situations. Such as removing a cursed ring. Or cursed ring mail.

Hanuman
2012-11-19, 11:21 AM
Spice of Spiciness
This spice will make other spices appear to be more like themselves, this does not improve the flavor of them but rather makes the spices used to make them more easily identified, granting a +2 circumstance bonus to know what spices were used in the food's production.

Wardog
2012-11-19, 03:52 PM
How about a belt of genre-changing (http://rustyandco.com/comic/level2/level-2-14/)?

Erik Vale
2012-11-19, 04:36 PM
That would be a good way to get respite from sanity damage in a horror campaign.
Unless it turned into a cartoon comedy...

nedz
2012-11-19, 05:14 PM
Cloaca of Charisma
That's the Latin meaning, not the biological one.

Andezzar
2012-11-19, 05:54 PM
How about a belt of genre-changing (http://rustyandco.com/comic/level2/level-2-14/)?


And if you can't think of a way to abuse that you aren't really trying;This fits for the item above as well.

BootStrapTommy
2012-11-20, 04:48 PM
Amulet of Drop Bear Warding - Wards against drop bears.

Hand of metagaming - a long but small spatula shaped object which materializes from the ground and strikes the PCs of players guilty of obnoxious metagaming for damage equivalent to being hit by a human monk of an equal level with superior unarmed strike and a 10 Str. Also for 1d4 damage when the DM is pissed.

Hanuman
2012-11-23, 09:50 PM
Anchor of Swimming
This iron anchor weighs 5 tonnes and gives a +2 to swim checks when equipped.
This takes up the face slot of your magical items and counts as a shield when equipped granting +0AC.

Gildedragon
2012-11-25, 01:06 AM
Double sword of Mighty Fists: While attacking with both ends of this sword, treat your unarmed strikes as being one size category larger

nedz
2012-11-25, 06:21 AM
Bag of Tricks

Hanuman
2012-11-25, 07:30 AM
Bag of Tricks

It's a summon natures ally III charge item but instead of a 11k 50-charge disposable item it's got it's 10 charges per week forever and costs half as much.

Sword of Swordchucks
Whenever you score a successful hit with this sword that deals piercing damage, pulling the sword out of the opponent leaves a copy of itself that grows a chain with another sword attached, this copied sword is now an exotic double-weapon with the base stats of 1d6/1d6 piercing or slashing damage and crits on 20 for x2 damage, this sword disappears at the start of your next turn.

nedz
2012-11-25, 12:59 PM
It's a summon natures ally III charge item but instead of a 11k 50-charge disposable item it's got it's 10 charges per week forever and costs half as much.

Actually there are three versions which do SNA II, SNA III or SNA V depending upon colour — but they always seem to just get sold.

Jay R
2012-11-25, 03:16 PM
Sword of Swordchucks
Whenever you score a successful hit with this sword that deals piercing damage, pulling the sword out of the opponent leaves a copy of itself that grows a chain with another sword attached, this copied sword is now an exotic double-weapon with the base stats of 1d6/1d6 piercing or slashing damage and crits on 20 for x2 damage, this sword disappears at the start of your next turn.

How many swords would a swordchuck chuck if a swordchuck could chuck swords?

Gildedragon
2012-11-25, 03:24 PM
It's a summon natures ally III charge item but instead of a 11k 50-charge disposable item it's got it's 10 charges per week forever and costs half as much.

Sword of Swordchucks
Whenever you score a successful hit with this sword that deals piercing damage, pulling the sword out of the opponent leaves a copy of itself that grows a chain with another sword attached, this copied sword is now an exotic double-weapon with the base stats of 1d6/1d6 piercing or slashing damage and crits on 20 for x2 damage, this sword disappears at the start of your next turn.
What happens when you hit a second opponent? Does it grow another new sword becoming 1d6/1d6/1d6... because that'd be hilarious.

Wraith
2012-11-25, 03:55 PM
Necklace of necklace empowering increases the power of any other necklace worn (but doesn't enable the wearing of a ssecond)

Necklace of Necklace-wearing: A Magical Necklace that allows you to wear a second necklace.

Scroll of Summon Nature's Ally Negative-III: A Magical scroll that summons a Dire Weasel to the Caster's location.
Which then mauls them.

Helm of Ineptitude: This normal-looking helm takes its true form and manifests its powers when the user dons it and speaks the command word. Made of brilliant silver and polished steel, a newly created helm is set with large magic gems: ten diamonds, twenty rubies, thirty fire opals, and forty opals. When struck by bright light, the helm scintillates and sends forth reflective rays in all directions from its crownlike, gem-tipped spikes. The helm may be used once per round, but each gem can perform its spell-like power just once. Until all its jewels are depleted, a helm of brilliance also has the following magical properties when activated.

To activate the Helm, the wearer plucks one gem from it an throws it at the target. That gem then crumbles to dust, and all of the other gems activate as though 10 Prismatic Sprays, 20 Walls of Flame, 30 Fireballs and 40 Light spells were cast simultaneously.

Centred on the wearer.


How many swords would a swordchuck chuck if a swordchuck could chuck swords?

:thog: "all of them!"

Andezzar
2012-11-25, 04:07 PM
Necklace of Necklace-wearing: A Magical Necklace that allows you to wear a second necklace.That would be awesome as you can further enchant the necklace of necklace-wearing.

Gildedragon
2012-11-25, 04:11 PM
Scrolls of:

Bull's Grace
Cat's Endurance
Bear's Splendor
Fox's Strength
Owl's Cunning
Eagle's Wisdom

Each is a -2 to the appropriate stat

Lord Raziere
2012-11-25, 04:48 PM
*Cannon of Canon: A cannon that when loaded with a piece of literature and fired at a church immediatly causes whatever is in the literature to become part of the canon of that religion.

*Rod of Wander: A rod that causes the owner to have no sense of direction.

*Relative Pole: A twenty foot pole that decreases in length as your speed increases.

*Pole Vault: A large Safe that is always filled with poles of various lengths, ranging from 10' to 42'

*Polish remover: A duel purpose potion that when rubbed on an object causes it to no longer be shiny. Also causes anyone from Poland to dissapear.

*The Axe of Bar: Whenever a trap is spotted by the owner this axe immediatly points to the trap and loudly announces "ITS A TRAP!"

*Potable Hole: A hole that is not portable, but is full of water that is safe to drink.

*Potion of Regurtitation: a potion that immediatly causes the user to vomit

*Violin of Violence: A violin that when played produces music so bad that all within 20' immediatly become hostile

For the first one: I write up a piece of literature that says I'm the only god int he world and that all should worship me, make a few to blast them at all the religions in the world, now all the religions worship me.

Rod of Wander: give an enemy this somehow, then teleport them into a desert. they will probably never bother you ever again.

The Axe of Bar: actually useful, cause a weapon that tells me where traps are, while a little annoying, would be y'know, saving my life constantly.

Violin of Violence: perfect for giving to a villainous bard and getting them killed by their own music.

hymer
2012-11-25, 05:07 PM
@ Lord Raziere: Read the Axe of Bar description again. That thing you describe, that would just be out of character.

I'd like the violin. Sometimes you need the other guy to make the first move. Any witnesses will go 'He had it coming for playing the violin so horribly!' and get laughed out of court. Just don't do it too often, or word might get around.

My entry: Magical dice that roll themselves with a command word that also requires a somatic components and has ASF. Or a chess game that announces each move in a hushed tone (possibly making comments on the history of the opening and/or commenting on whether the player is a moron for doing it), and conducts interviews with captured pieces (think professional sports people and sports journalists) if any player takes too long to move.

Wraith
2012-11-25, 06:31 PM
That would be awesome as you can further enchant the necklace of necklace-wearing.

Sadly, there's an important difference between "a second necklace" and "+1 necklace". :smalltongue:

TuggyNE
2012-11-25, 07:20 PM
Sadly, there's an important difference between "a second necklace" and "+1 necklace". :smalltongue:

It depends on the edition; 3.5, for example, allows you to stuff extra special abilities on pretty nearly any magic item for only a moderate surcharge, so a necklace that a) allows another necklace slot and b) carries its own special abilities is actually quite useful, since it can save on overall cost.

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-25, 09:59 PM
Scrolls of:

Bull's Grace
Cat's Endurance
Bear's Splendor
Fox's Strength
Owl's Cunning
Eagle's Wisdom

Each is a -2 to the appropriate stat

Hey, I already thought of that one (with -4 instead of -2, but still).

Original entries:

Ring of Soundtracks: While worn, this ring plays soundtracks appropriate to what is happening.

Ring of Chickens: Causes the character to have the chicken-infested flaw for as long as he wears it. If the character aleady has this flaw, he gets two chickens at a time.

Andezzar
2012-11-26, 01:59 AM
Sadly, there's an important difference between "a second necklace" and "+1 necklace". :smalltongue:Actually there is not. A character can put as many non-magical necklaces around his neck as he can carry, but only one magical necklace will function while around the neck.

The necklaces of necklace-wearing is as per the OP a Magic Item. Magic Items can be further enchanted. The original magic property of the necklace of necklace-wearing is to allow wearing another (magical) necklace. So you basically have two necklace slots (enchanting one will be 50% more expensive though for most enchantments)

Gildedragon
2012-11-26, 02:47 AM
Hey, I already thought of that one (with -4 instead of -2, but still).

Huh. I should have put them as -3 actually... anyway.
What about a scroll of
"Owlbear's Splendor" or "Catfox's Endurance"

TuggyNE
2012-11-26, 03:50 AM
Ring of Chickens: Causes the character to have the chicken-infested flaw for as long as he wears it. If the character aleady has this flaw, he gets two chickens at a time.

Unfortunately, that is extremely not useless, as that's the most absurdly abusable flaw in D&D outside of random homebrew on dandwiki. :smallyuk: Seriously, the things you can do with it make it probably worth two feats at least, not -1.


What about a scroll of "Owlbear's Splendor" or "Catfox's Endurance"

I dunno about Catfox, but Owlbears have 10 Cha?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll stop nitpicking now.

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-27, 12:30 PM
Ring of gate

This ring allows the bearer to be summoned and bound as per the spell "Gate".

The mark of the ninja

This mark activates at random intervals to summon celestial ninjas to attack the bearer.

Stick of the order

This club provides a +6 inherent bonus to hit and damage on called strikes against sanity or patience. It provides a +3 circumstance bonus to checks involving idiocy and or madness.

Crazyfailure13
2012-11-27, 07:25 PM
Wand of Raise Dead:

When used levitates 1 dead humanoid body 1 inch off of whatever surface it was resting on, and does not move aside from that, if any force tries to move the body while the spell is in effect the body descends back to the surface and the spell ends.

Pebble of Walking:

on command this rock grows 2 feet and steps forward 1 cm per day, this effect can only be used after the pebble has been moved back 1 cm.

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-28, 01:03 AM
Wand of the world shaper;

The titanic power of this wand allows the wielder to move an entire continent; by about 1/4 of a centimeter per day.

Gildedragon
2012-11-28, 01:30 AM
Periapt of Wisdom-Teeth: Although it appears to be a normal tooth on a chain, a periapt of wisdom-teeth actually increases the possessor's number of teeth in the form of an enhancement bonus of +2, +4, or +6 depending on the individual item.

Bacon Elemental
2012-11-28, 02:13 AM
Spear of Fear:
This spear is really scared of people.


The Stone Of Expensive Weight
Once per day, you may spend ten minutes and 50gp of components to increase or decrease the weightby up to one pound.

Gildedragon
2012-11-28, 03:08 AM
A less un-useful version of Bacon_Elemental's "Stone of Expensive Weight"

Money Purse of Holding: This small cloth wallet is held shut by a small metal clasp and is richly embroidered. Empty it has a negligible weight and infinite volume, but for every 50 coins placed into it, its weight increases by one pound. If an item that is not a coin (even a disk-shaped ingot) is placed into it, it immediately spits it back out at whoever tried to put it in, dealing 1 point of bludgeoning damage to them.

TuggyNE
2012-11-28, 04:22 AM
Pebble of Walking:

on command this rock grows 2 feet and steps forward 1 cm per day, this effect can only be used after the pebble has been moved back 1 cm.

A fractionally more interesting version* is The Cucumbers of Travel. This consists of a number of cucumber seeds; you plant one for each traveler, and sit on the cucumbers as they grow (which takes a few months normally; these magic seeds sprout in only 6 weeks). This will take you 18 inches closer to your destination, or with luck 20. Then you harvest the cucumbers at the appropriate time for more seeds and repeat. (All seeds produced by the cucumbers grown by these magic seeds are themselves magical in the same way.)

Motto: "More haste less speed."

*Based on an old novel. The Magic City, by E. Nesbit.

nedz
2012-11-28, 10:35 AM
Mitre of the Bishop
The wearer may only move, and attack, diagonally.

Ring of the Rook
The wearer may not move, or attack, diagonally.

Shoes of the Pawn
The wearer may take a 10' step instead of a 5' step on the first round of combat.
The wearer can only move by making 5', or 10', steps.
The wearer may not move diagonally.
The wearer can only attack diagonally.

Mantle of the Knight, Crown of the King, Robe of the Queen
You get the idea.

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-28, 11:36 AM
Ring Of Penguins: Whenever anyone casts a summon monster, summon nature's ally, or gate spell within a mile of this ring, they also summon x d20 penguins, where x is the level of the spell cast. The penguins are not under the summoner's control, and do not vanish when the spell expires.

Stone of Scones: On a succesful UMD check, the stone summons a dozen yummy blueberry scones. On a failure, the stone turns all items held or worn by the caster into yummy blueberry scones. They cannot be turned back.

Wheel of Fortune: Upon spinning this wheel, roll 1d20 and subtract ten from the result. Then apply the resulting number as a luck modifier to every skill check, save, and attack roll made by any character who was within 100 meters of the Wheel when it was spun. The effect lasts 24 hours, and the Wheel cannot be used again for that interval.

Scizor
2012-11-28, 11:44 AM
Wand of the world shaper;

The titanic power of this wand allows the wielder to move an entire continent; by about 1/4 of a centimeter per day.

Dude, do you know how fast that is? The speed of tectonic plates is a few centimeters per year at most.Do you know how many earthquakes, volcanoes and tsunamis you would make, and how much terraforming you could do? You could move a continent 91,25 cm in a year. That would wreak the entire world!
And if you say " it only moves the continent, not the tectonic plate," it would still be catastrophical.

Blightedmarsh
2012-11-28, 01:58 PM
I did say it had titanic power. It is just that you can't particularly control these earthquakes.

Its a wand for the discerning omnicidal maniac with an eternity to burn and the patience to use it..... Actually that would be good for a BBEG.

In fact the total devastation a reckless player can cause with this item is enough to warrant the DM from sending in NPC parties to vanquish the BBEP.

ReaderAt2046
2012-11-28, 06:36 PM
Wand of the world shaper;

The titanic power of this wand allows the wielder to move an entire continent; by about 1/4 of a centimeter per day.

Are there any limitations on which direction you can move it?

Because if I were an evil maniac with this thing, the first thing I'd try is mving my continent straight up. The effects of that would be remarkable and disturbing.

TuggyNE
2012-11-28, 09:16 PM
RStone of Scones: On a succesful UMD check, the stone summons a dozen yummy blueberry scones. On a failure, the stone turns all items held or worn by the caster into yummy blueberry scones. They cannot be turned back.

Interesting (and largely useless), but what's the UMD DC?


Wheel of Fortune: Upon spinning this wheel, roll 1d20 and subtract ten from the result. Then apply the resulting number as a luck modifier to every skill check, save, and attack roll made by any character who was within 100 meters of the Wheel when it was spun. The effect lasts 24 hours, and the Wheel cannot be used again for that interval.

This is not useless, but rather very risky. And, of course, all it takes is a couple of reroll abilities (for example, dual-wield empty luck blades), and bam, you have a substantial daily buff. With two rerolls, you have about a 6.4% chance of getting a penalty instead of a buff, and a 48.9% chance of getting at least +7 luck bonuses. If you add in a few luck feats and so on, you can probably get up to at least 3 rerolls, maybe 4, and the ability to count natural 1s as natural 20s.

Extremely powerful.

nedz
2012-11-28, 09:49 PM
Helm of Hungarian Communication.

Appearing as a normal helmet, a helm of Hungarian Communication grants its wearer the ability to understand the spoken words of any creature and to read text in any language and any magical writing.

It also functions as a form of Tongues in that creatures who do not speak the language of the wearer can understand his spoken words. There is a slight flaw in this however in that the words are translated so as to have a different, and usually rude, meaning.

TuggyNE
2012-11-28, 10:56 PM
Helm of Hungarian Nomenclature
This round helmet appears to have a small spinning ornament with two dull, rounded, slightly-curved blades atop it, and allows the wearer to properly determine the best name, in hungarian notation, for any given person, beast, monster, weapon, armor, tool, magic item, etc.

Examples:
fwizfdJanielle, for a party Wizard who uses lots of buffing/debuffing spells
elsorbXykon, for an enemy Sorcerer lich who likes blasting
nexpmer, for the nameless shopkeeper nearby


Truespeech does not use hungarian notation, and the helm does not confer a bonus on the skill use or researching a truename.

ReaderAt2046
2012-12-07, 11:06 PM
I'm planning on giving out a few of these to a party in a game I'm running. Should be funny!

New items:

Hat of Rabbits: Every time you take this hat off your head, a rabbit jumps out.

Ring of Random Plane Shifting: Every time you cast a spell, there is a (1* spell level)% chance that this ring will shift you to a random plane.

Bowl of Endless Bleeposchmeeg: A bowl whose inside is part of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

nedz
2012-12-08, 12:03 AM
Bowl of Endless Bleeposchmeeg: A bowl whose inside is part of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

Ah, you'll need the Trousers of Infinite Custard to go with this.

Gildedragon
2012-12-08, 12:07 AM
Bowl of Endless Bleeposchmeeg: A bowl whose inside is part of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

What happens if you put a Sustaining Spoon in the bowl?
Does it destroy the plane?

ReaderAt2046
2012-12-08, 09:42 AM
What's a Sustaining Spoon do?

Gildedragon
2012-12-08, 02:45 PM
It's fills a bowl with nourishing yet bland gruel

ReaderAt2046
2012-12-08, 02:59 PM
It would fill the bowl with the gruel, which would create a pocket of gruel somewhere below the surface of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

airwolf
2012-12-09, 07:48 PM
found an Ancient evil artifact, used it to create a fridge to store rat meat.

ragnaroktog
2017-03-03, 06:24 PM
Hat of Rabbits: Every time you take this hat off your head, a rabbit jumps out.


Almost as annoying as the Hat of Rabbis.

ellindsey
2017-03-03, 11:58 PM
Ring of Soundtracks: While worn, this ring plays soundtracks appropriate to what is happening.


That would be incredibly useful. "Guys, I think this friendly NPC is secretly evil!" "What, did you make your Sense Motive check?" "No, the background music just shifted to a minor key!"

Wardog
2017-03-04, 02:10 PM
That would be incredibly useful. "Guys, I think this friendly NPC is secretly evil!" "What, did you make your Sense Motive check?" "No, the background music just shifted to a minor key!"

Quick! Get out of the water! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV8i-pSVMaQ)

Tetsubo 57
2017-03-05, 08:15 AM
An invisible gold ring. A gold ring that is invisible. It does nothing else.

PandaPhobia
2018-09-07, 03:48 PM
[QUOTE=Geohound13;9964346]I need some magic items that are fun but completely useless. Like the Window of transparency, it lets the use see through it :smallbiggrin:. I need more like this.[/QUOT

Crystal of Fortune Telling: the user is able to see the infinite multitudes of potential futures, but no-one believes them about the things they have seen, and are influenced to do the things that lead to the worst future.

GunDragon
2018-09-07, 11:25 PM
The Headband of Reverse Intellect: If an idiot wears it, he/she becomes a genius. If a smart person wears it, he/she becomes stupid.

The Amulet of Magic Immunity: This amulet is completely immune to all magic. The wearer of the amulet is still vulnerable to magic.

Ring of the Elderly: This ring makes it so you cannot die of old age. However, wearing the ring gives the wearer the negative effects of aging, such as a sore back, arthritis, wrinkles, bad eyesight, etc.

Potion of Flatulence: Whoever drinks a potion like this will suffer horrible farts that can make one gag.

Malphegor
2018-09-08, 08:20 AM
Malphegor’s Goggles Of Clean Seeing:
head slot item
cl: 5th
Crafting requirements: craft wondrous items, clairvoyance, 5,000 gp

Perpetually self-cleaning (the effect is slow and will stop entirely if they are fully immersed in dirt), the lenses of these glasses can be worn to see things at greater degree of focus, but not by any significant amount useful for combat purposes. For those who do not match the prescription of Malphegor the Wizard, it will render the user with a mildly annoying headache.

Kami2awa
2018-09-09, 02:45 AM
Mitre of the Bishop
The wearer may only move, and attack, diagonally.

Ring of the Rook
The wearer may not move, or attack, diagonally.

Shoes of the Pawn
The wearer may take a 10' step instead of a 5' step on the first round of combat.
The wearer can only move by making 5', or 10', steps.
The wearer may not move diagonally.
The wearer can only attack diagonally.

Mantle of the Knight, Crown of the King, Robe of the Queen
You get the idea.

Actually, the Mantle of the Knight should make you auto-succeed Tumble checks to move through an enemy's space, making it rather useful.

Andezzar
2018-09-09, 05:41 AM
Robe of the queen could also be interesting: Unlimited speed, an only move in a straight line.

Ravens_cry
2018-09-09, 06:48 PM
Warming Lockets. Twin lockets that, when one is held and whoever is pictured within is thought fondly of, the other warms gently.

Andor13
2018-09-11, 03:37 PM
Ring of Echolocation - When worn this ring pulls the wearer towards the nearest place with the proper acoustics to make echos.

Cape of the Bat - When the command word if spoken this cape transforms into a swarm of bats. They are not under the users command. Alternately it makes the users voice into a gravelly bass and occasionally makes him say "I am the night!"

Bow of Bowing - This normal short bow can summon a violin at will, and is always freshly rosined.

Malphegor
2018-09-12, 07:35 AM
Bow of Bowing - This normal short bow can summon a violin at will, and is always freshly rosined.

Honestly resining the bow was the biggest pain in the torso slot with a violin anyway so I could see this being much appreciated.

Ravens_cry
2018-09-13, 03:44 AM
Honestly resining the bow was the biggest pain in the torso slot with a violin anyway so I could see this being much appreciated.
Not to mention a nice source of coinage. If you are less than honest, even if it's the same musical instrument each time.

Lupine
2019-04-18, 11:58 AM
Ring of Revival
Allows the caster to cast revivify without using a spell slot. Casting time two minutes.

Andezzar
2019-04-18, 01:57 PM
Ring of Revival
Allows the caster to cast revivify without using a spell slot. Casting time two minutes.Don't you have to specify target(s) at the end of the casting? So this might be somewhat useful.

Lord Raziere
2019-04-18, 05:00 PM
Coin of Flipping: if this coin lands tails everyone in the room is flipped upside down. if the coin lands heads, everyone in the room is flipped so that they walk backwards for a less than a minute.

Frozen_Feet
2019-04-18, 11:06 PM
Ring of gate

This ring allows the bearer to be summoned and bound as per the spell "Gate".

The mark of the ninja

This mark activates at random intervals to summon celestial ninjas to attack the bearer.
.

These are not useless at all. They are very usefull to put on prisoners or enemies.

Also, certainly not fun if you are said prisoner or enemy. :smallamused:

Segev
2019-04-19, 01:35 PM
Musical Earplugs - Function like normal earplugs, but slightly better at filtering out exterior noise because they play a selection of pre-recorded songs as performed by whatever bard crafted them (or participated in their crafting).

Greater Musical Earplugs - as the Musical Earplugs, but they cure Deafness while worn...but only for the purposes of letting you hear the musical selections.

Wand of Disintegration - Has 50 charges, spends one charge and casts disintegrate when the spell trigger is correctly performed, but only targets the wand (almost certainly destroying it on the first use).

Truely Immovable Rod - When the button is pressed, the rod teleports away or otherwise vanishes, and is replaced entirely by a permanent image of the rod in that exact position. Can't be touched, let alone moved, even by incorporeal creatures because it's just an illusion.

Decan'ter of Endless Water - This clear glass bottle appears to be about 2/3 full of water, but when the water is poured out, it splashes as if hitting whatever surface below but no amount of water ever spreads from the site nor fills any containers. Though it feels cool and real to the touch when running over skin, it will never wet anything. This is because it's actually a major image of water. Filling the bottle will overwrite the illusion until the illusion is of more liquid than it really contains, and real fluid will pour out normally until gone and replaced seamlessly by the stream of illusory water.

Invisible Blindfold - When properly worn in the eyes' magic item slot, this piece of cloth turns invisible to both the wearer and all who look upon him.

Blindfold of Seeing the Invisible - Functions just like the Invisible Blindfold, but grants the wearer see invisibility, so they can clearly see the blindfold (and nothing else) while wearing it.

Portrait of King Populon the Well-Liked - This self-portrait was done by a King history records as one of the greatest ever. Well-liked by his people and beloved of his court, he was also a powerful sorcerer. Worked into it is a permanent symbol of persuasion that is still active, causing anybody who looks upon it to be Charmed by the painter...who has been dead for centuries. But everyone agrees, he was a swell guy.

hotflungwok
2019-04-19, 01:57 PM
I always like the Holy Hockey Stick of Terror from 2nd ed

2H weapon, does 1d6 damage, on a critical it knocks out 1d3 teeth. For every 2 teeth lost this way the target loses a pt of CHA.

Wuzza
2019-04-20, 01:15 PM
So, Blackadder was on TV earlier, and I've been drinking, so....

Baldricks Turnip of Cunning Plans. (+1)
This a particularly large turnip. You can use a bonus action to cause the turnip to turn into a supremely tasty stew. Once eaten, the turnip returns to your inventory within 1d10 minutes.
Additionally you may use a bonus action to call "Cunning Plan", doing this will distract any enemy within 5' of the turnip, causing them to be slightly amused. (no in game effect) If no enemy is close, this will cause any friendly creature to call out in despair, causing them to have disadvantage on any roll for 24 hours.
You can also use a bonus action to turn the Turnip into the shape of a "thingy"

Baldricks Container of Never Ending Wine.
This container contains a never ending supply of liquid. While it doesn't taste pleasant, it contains enough nourishment to sustain up to 8 creatures for 24 hours, negating the need to drink.
This container can be refilled by any party member every short/long rest.

Percys Amulet of Purest Gold
This amulet shines with the light of purest green. While wearing this amulet, you will be sought out by any alchemist within 5 miles, and pestered constantly for the recipe. This amulet is worth 10d10 copper.

Cardinal Chunders Devils Dumplings (+1)
While wearing this breastplate, you become irresistible to the opposite sex. You are also immune to any effects of alcohol.
By chanting the phrase "Great Boo's Up" you gain advantage on any Charisma check vs Priests, Clerics and Paladins.

Bonus item:

Triggers Broom of Mending
This broom stores 4 charges. Any spillage, magical or not, can be cleaned up using 1 charge of this broom. While attuned, your Int is set to 4.
Once per long rest the broom regains 1d4 handles + 1d6 heads.

jintoya
2019-04-28, 03:41 PM
Tome of jokes:
This small book has an infinite amount of pages and contains only unfunny jokes, the book vanishes from your hand and reappears in your bag if you attempt to damage it in any way, it weighs 1lb and cannot be discarded without anything less than a disjunction.

Pex
2019-04-28, 06:38 PM
Figurine of Wondrous Power - Singing Frog

This magical figurine is often found buried in the ground under a building or a tree. Upon discovery by its owner when alone, the frog will sing various songs in perfect pitch. Being so talented it could make the owner wealthy to put in a show. However, by the utmost coincidence the frog always manages to finish his current song just as the owner is about to show it to another person to hear the singing. Upon finishing the song the frog will only give the occasional croak and otherwise be a normal frog. When the owner is alone again the frog will sing. The only way for the owner to rid himself of the frog is to bury it somewhere, such as the foundation of where a building will be constructed or tree planted.

kinglinus1
2019-04-29, 09:42 AM
The bust of throw-ability. Things got... more absurd from there.

Segev
2019-04-29, 09:54 AM
Tome of jokes:
This small book has an infinite amount of pages and contains only unfunny jokes, the book vanishes from your hand and reappears in your bag if you attempt to damage it in any way, it weighs 1lb and cannot be discarded without anything less than a disjunction.

This seems at least as useful as any other cursed "can't lose it" item in that you can sell it for a pittance an infinite number of times. As long as you can sell it for enough to make the time it takes to make a sale worth the income....

Jay R
2019-04-29, 08:48 PM
This seems at least as useful as any other cursed "can't lose it" item in that you can sell it for a pittance an infinite number of times. As long as you can sell it for enough to make the time it takes to make a sale worth the income....

... and as long as you don't mind becoming an outlaw, with an ever-growing number of outraged customers chasing you.

Phhase
2019-04-30, 02:04 AM
Eye of Introspection
A magical glass eye. Will affix to an empty socket, and can be seen out of. Once per day, can cast know alignment. However, using this function causes the eye to roll backwards into the user's head, such that the only thing they can see/know the alignment of is themselves.

Jay R
2019-04-30, 09:10 AM
One of the triumphant joys of being a D&D player is figuring out a way to use the intended useless items.

One DM gave out a bag of useless duplication. You could put anything in it and get a useless duplicate. Duplicated food was inedible; duplicated jewels and coins were obvious fakes; duplicated magic items looked real but didn't work.

I used it to steal another party's magic items, leaving behind the duplicates. They spent a long time trying to re-activate their items, and to investigate what could have made all their magic items inert.

But they never came looking for the thief, because they never suspected that the real items were stolen.

jintoya
2019-04-30, 09:54 AM
... and as long as you don't mind becoming an outlaw, with an ever-growing number of outraged customers chasing you.

Had this happen... It didn't end well for the party rogue... They only found a smoking pair of shoes.
Word spread if the item and seller, essentially I placed a few shop keepers who were in-the-know who traded him a "mystery treasure chest"for it... He took it and ran off to open it... After a few failed grapples and one fresh character sheet... The party has a new Bard with a healthy fear of mimics

Andezzar
2019-04-30, 12:17 PM
Eye of Introspection
A magical glass eye. Will affix to an empty socket, and can be seen out of. Once per day, can cast know alignment. However, using this function causes the eye to roll backwards into the user's head, such that the only thing they can see/know the alignment of is themselves.I don't think this item qualifies:

Know alignment is not a 3.5 spell and detect alignment would not be hindered by the user's head.
It would be very useful for any one eyed character even without the know alignment effect.

jintoya
2019-04-30, 12:34 PM
I don't think this item qualifies:

Know alignment is not a 3.5 spell and detect alignment would not be hindered by the user's head.
It would be very useful for any one eyed character even without the know alignment effect.

Put it in a skull, put that skull on a staff, it's now an aimed effect, just poke a hole in it so the eye is looking out the back.

Segev
2019-04-30, 01:43 PM
A lens that casts detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, and detect law all at the same time, when looked through and activated. However, all auras it can see look the same, so it's impossible to tell what alignment is being detected.

Andezzar
2019-04-30, 03:38 PM
So it is essentially detect neutrality.

Caerulea
2019-04-30, 07:54 PM
Wooden Stick of Art:
This rough wooden stick around 6.5 inches long forces anyone viewing it to make a will save or believe it is a pipe. If somebody attempts to light it, it appears to be lit. When the user tries to inhale, they abruptly realise it is not, in fact, a pipe, and usually spit it out. The pipe is unharmed by this attempt. It can only affect a person once.

It was created by a wizard trying to make a point about art, or something.

—Caerulea

DuctTapeKatar
2019-04-30, 08:46 PM
Vibrating pebble.

Upon touching the rune on the pebble, it vibrates.

Pex
2019-04-30, 09:57 PM
Vibrating pebble.

Upon touching the rune on the pebble, it vibrates.

That would not be useless for some people. Location of the pebble is important to them.

Ravens_cry
2019-04-30, 10:59 PM
I always like the Holy Hockey Stick of Terror from 2nd ed

2H weapon, does 1d6 damage, on a critical it knocks out 1d3 teeth. For every 2 teeth lost this way the target loses a pt of CHA.
That there is aboot deh most Canadian magic item evar, eh? 🍁

Segev
2019-05-01, 11:21 AM
You've heard of progressive knives, progressive axes, even progressive box-cutters. These vibrating blades cut much more powerfully than non-vibrating equivalents; just ask giant synthetic angel-fighting monsters!

Now, meet the progressive grenade! Throw, and it will vibrate, moving across the surface it's on like an over-excited cellular phone, shifting a few inches in a random direction before exploding!

*toss* *bzzzzt* *boom!*

jintoya
2019-05-01, 01:24 PM
A lens that casts detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, and detect law all at the same time, when looked through and activated. However, all auras it can see look the same, so it's impossible to tell what alignment is being detected.

That is a lense of detect people... Useful for finding a hiding rogue in the forest.... He glows

Edit: by process of elimination, it's also a lense of detect true neutral

Bohandas
2019-05-02, 02:50 AM
A talking intelligent tankard with the personality of Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Max_Killjoy
2019-05-02, 07:33 PM
https://www.somethingpositive.net/sp05022019.png

Bohandas
2019-05-03, 02:03 AM
Invisible pants- The pants are invisible. The wearer remains as visible as ever.

Flask of endless farts- When this bottle is unstoppered and the command word is spoken it emits a gorrible farty smell

Pen of Autocorrect- Any time the user of this pen tries to write an obscure word with it, it will be replaced with a similar sounding but more common word.

Portrait of Dorito Grey- When the subject of this sort of painting eats junk foot, the painting gets fat instead of them

The Butt of Vecna- Allows the use of stinking cloud 3/day centered on user. User is not immune.

Segev
2019-05-03, 10:55 AM
Portrait of Dorito Grey- When the subject of this sort of painting eats junk foot, the painting gets fat instead of them

I'm pretty sure very few people would find this useless!

jintoya
2019-05-03, 10:57 AM
I'm pretty sure very few people would find this useless!

Commoners would love it, so it's good for an adventurer as a sellable for sure

Ring of stereotypical accents:
This ring grants a +3 to diplomacy checks with people who possess the same accent the ring mimics
Each day this ring randomly selects an accent for it's wearer, the accent is selected from those which have been spoken within 1 mile of the Ring within the past 3 days (so it's more likely to get one you will encounter.)
It then causes the wearer to speak in a bad/butchered and offensive version of that accent for the remainder of the day. The nature of this offense inflicts a -3 to diplomacy checks to everyone it offends
This ring sizes itself to be just small enough that it's wearer cannot remove it without destroying it or removing the finger

DaleFrancis
2019-05-08, 03:44 AM
amulet of delay:
when wearing this amulet any sound that would result from a direct action of the character is dealyed 1d4 rounds at random.

Segev
2019-05-08, 10:01 AM
Invisible Plate Mail: Not entirely useless, but it's just the suit of armor that's invisible. It takes twice as long to don or doff unless the people involved can see invisible things, and if you're wearing different clothes under it, they look to be all you're wearing. Though they'll appear pretty rumpled, being crushed oddly beneath the armor and its under-padding. Still weighs the same, and makes all the same noise, and can be felt if touched.

Wardog
2019-05-09, 02:50 AM
[QUOTE=Segev;23896590]Invisible Plate /QUOTE]

Could be pretty useful for confusing or misdirecting your enemies. Especially if the party wizard can make himself look as though he's wearing plate.