View Full Version : my esteemed effindi: a self made series

aart lover
2010-12-16, 04:27 PM
As Rogar kept walking, he realized that long probably wasn't the best way to wear his hair in the desert. a red bandana was all that kept the sun from frying his cranium. a voice, one of is party members, spoke up.
" why do you insist on keeping your hair long when we're in a desert?"
" because Cade, my little half-ling friend, as i have told you numerous times, my countrymen wear their hair long as a symbol of strength.
" really?"
" yes, whereas a rogue like you might keep theirs short so it doesn't get in the way, we grow it out" Lia Moonluster, an elf druid, entered the conversation,
" i really don't see the importance of discussing ethnic customs when there are a lot more important things, like our campaign for example" Lia's words didn't quite register with Rogar. The sun was glimmering on Lia's golden hair, making it look almost like diamonds, beautiful diamonds in the sand. he couldn't help but watch it as she talked.
" ye needn't be so serious all tha time, Lia," said Gamlin, the party cleric.
" this coming from a dwarf," retorted Lia. Rogar and Cade were paying this no attention, too busy in their own conversation.
" So, you wanna make the trade, humie?"
" i wish you wouldn't call me a humie, just human would work, but yeah, i'll take 2 vials of alchemist's fire for a ride on my shoulders." Rogar easily lifted Cade's smallish frame onto his broad shoulders.
" Aaaaaah, i can't tell you how much my feet are relieved having to have walked on that hot sand the whole way." for a moment, Cade's brown eyes seemed to stare on forever into the horizon before finally speaking up again.
" must be nice being 7 feet tall all the time."
" heh, yeah. i don't get why you're not intimidated tho. most people give me funny looks and their eyes go all wide."
" are you kidding? how could i be intimidated? you're the kindest humie i ever met."
" yeah, well, that's when i'm just hanging out with you guys, in a fight tho, well, you've seen me."
" i guess your reputation precedes you then?"
" heh, i guess you could say that." out of the sea of sand, a white rock pops out on the horizon. then two white rocks. and then too many to count pop up. only then does the party realize they have happened upon a settlement.
" that ought to be Khalem, the only merchant town this far out into the desert," said Dimitrius, the party's usually silent ranger. hope filled inside of Rogar, a town meant people, a merchant town meant knowledgeable people who have probably heard a lot about different places, people, things. all that meant another possible shot at what he had been trying to do since a few years ago.
" Khalem, aye, i've heard o tha town. reckon we should stop thar."
" yeah team, i think we ALL need something, right? Lia and you need to refresh your spells. me, Cade, and Dimitrius need a little rest, not to mention a strong drink." the group was in agreement that the town was the best option.
" please, don't say drink," said Lia,
" it only makes me want water and a cool bath that much more." once inside the town, they saw a dramatic transition from bleak ocean of sand, to a town abuzz with life. commerce, friendly chatter, and songs could be heard from all angles of the streets. the party immediately checked into an inn. "alright gang, do what you need to do, then come back here," said Rogar.
" gotcha"
" right"
" sure"
" aye" Rogar headed off in the general direction of an armorsmith first.
" i don't care if there aren't rules for armor depreciation, this half-plate is in crappy condition." once inside, he was greeted by a bronze skinned man in workman's clothing.

2010-12-16, 04:51 PM
Good fun.
Seems like a pretty basic D&D world with some holes in the fourth wall. Order of the Stick, right?
Anyway, it was a bit short and the characters don't really get much lines beyond the standard fantasy party banter. It's kinda hard to judge whether they are actually, you know, interesting characters. Some proofreading couldn't hurt, either. Typos kinda take you out of the story.

If you have any other stories to share, you might want to pop by the Playground Writers' Worshop (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=123127). Critiquing other stories and then posting your own is a great way to motivate yourself and really take storytelling to a whole 'nother level.

aart lover
2010-12-17, 02:54 PM
so i think it's pretty safe to say i have created a story thread here:smalltongue:

part 2 of my esteemed effindi

" Um, hello?" Rogar said in an uneasy voice. looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. the walls of the shop were of earthen tones, covered with oblong pieces of metal, armor, and tools. the floor was dirt except for a large rug at the door. a bronze-skinned man in workman's clothes, tools strapped to a leather apron, approached Rogar.
" well, we don't get many Northerners around here." said the armorsmith, gazing at Rogar with his reddish eyes, typical of his people.
" oh yeah? how do figure i'm a Northerner?"
" come on, the red hair, the green eyes, the facial features, you're a northerner, alright." the man had to crane his neck to look on Rogar's face, a good 2 feet above his.
" well, racial traits aside, i need you to fix my armor."
" can do. come back in a few hours, it'll be ready by then."
" only a few hours?"
" you came to the best armorsmith in town, i pride myself on speedy service." Rogar left the shop, and located a tavern nearest to the inn, should the need to regroup fast arise. Cade, and Dimitrius had already beat him there. The tavern was lively, and although they weren't from around there, they suspected it was always that way. The cozy, firelit room echoed with conversations of friends, and working men and women, the kind that drove a shovel for a living. The kind of people Rogar respected. the three sat down at a table, and decided what to drink. Cade was always partial to a special half-ling drink served in his homeland, the hard part was that almost always, nobody served it. Dimitrius would've been fine with wine and cheese, but decided the best way to drive off the desert heat would be with something a tad stronger. In the midst of all this indecisiveness, Rogar decided for everyone.
" Right then, mead for everyone." he was about to go pay, but Cade intervened.
" i got this."
" but you don't have any money, how will you pay?"
" Pfffft. watch and learn." Cade walked up to the bar and noticed one patron. with nimble fingers, and split-second timing, he easily pocketed the man's coin purse. he looked back at the other two, beaming at his accomplishment. then he stole his wallet, a pen, a spyglass, a dagger, a piece of string, and, feeling on a roll....his pants.
" why did you want his pants?"
" i didn't want them, i just wanted to see if i could steal them," said Cade, a huge grin on his face.
" whatever, just get the drinks." he promptly paid the for the mead, and brought back the flagons to the table.
" you guys drink, i'm gonna go make like a million bluff checks." Cade walked over to another table, put a stone on the table, and 3 cups. he put the stone under one, and the other two on either side.
" alright folks, here's a game we play all the time in half-ling lands, it's simple, just pick which cup the stone is under after i shuffle the cups around." he thought it would be easy money, because probably, the locals had never played THIS kind of game before. and he was right. after his 5th bluff check however, one angry patron lifted up all 3 cups to find the stone was under none. instantly becoming angry, their faces swelled up and they attacked. Cade was nimble enough that he evaded them.
" Rogar! ok, so good news and bad news. good news is: i won a whole lot of money in this con. bad news: they caught on. help!" before Rogar could respond, all 3 of them were kicked out of the tavern.
" you know, i really hate you. i didn't even get to finish my drink for cryin out loud!"
" relax, it's not like we're staying here for long anyway."
" whatever, listen, i'm gonna haul my giant self over to the inn, i suggest you do the same before the locals kill you for some other stupid thing."
" i'm packing it in, too." said Dimitrius.
" Hey! it's not my fault! i a rogue! i'm SUPPOSED to do things like that! it's part of my roguish charm!"
" well guess what, we're in a lawful town. and my guess is that they won't see your " roguish charm" the same way you do." So Rogar, feeling frustrated at his friend for the first time, headed off to the inn. his only solace being that had managed to make a gather information check at least. the gather information check, that would prove invaluable.

super dark33
2010-12-17, 07:10 PM
use diffrent color text so we can define who's talking, and spoiler the parts so pages wont fill quickly

aart lover
2010-12-18, 08:30 PM
my esteemed effindi part 3upon entering the inn room, Lia immediately drew an icebath. a bath which she had been fantasizing about ever since they came to the desert. all the troubles in the world seemed to fade away as the cold bath created some much needed relaxation. for a three star inn, it wasn't half bad. as two separate rooms would've been inefficient, they got one large room with a wall and door running through the middle.
From the other side of the room came Gamlin. The polite old dwarf gently knocked on the door to the bath.
" ah, Lia? don't mean ta interupt er anythin', but ave' ye seen Rogar, er Cade round ere', er Dimitrius? i gotta talk ta em'."
" yes, to the best of my knowledge, they're getting a couple of stiff ones at the tavern. i suppose men will be men."
" Och, aye. thank ye, lass." Gamlin DID need to talk to them, but not about anything he would have Lia hearing. Not in a good long while, anyway, something told him she wasn't quite ready to hear it. Gamlin left the inn, and headed onto the street. not 10 meters away, he spotted a crate lying on the ground. i didn't look like it belonged there. Gamlin was LG, but a tiny part of him compelled him towards chaos on a few occasions.
" prob'bly none o' my bus'ness, but...." he felt as if he must open the crate. to satisfy his own curiosity, he approached it, and opened it. there was a small pouch at the bottom. he opened it, and saw the unmistakable glint of metal. precious metal at that, platinum pieces. he took one out, felt it, gazed at it's sweet luster.
" och, does any other metal shine so sweetly?" talking to himself was a habit he meant to break one of these days, but upon realizing what he was about to do, he promptly put an end to it.
" Nay, nay, it's not me money, i dinnae' earn tha', it wouldn't be right." ignoring his own logic, he instead pocketed the entire pouch. he really could be a bit greedy sometimes. at the same time, Rogar, Cade, and the ranger guy came walking by.
" Gamlin, what are you doing?", said Rogar.
" Och, nuthin' lad! Nuthin'!"
" Oh," having found them early, they instead walked back to the inn. Cade spoke up,
" hey man, i'm sorry about what happened in the inn."
" it's fine, i know you didn't mean to cause that much trouble, just be careful about who you con next time, ok?" at that moment, it rained suddenly, fat drops of water. the wind started to blow, making the experience that much more uncomfortable. in a backalley by the inn, they spotted a kitten, wide-eyed, and frightened, and sopping wet. A tabbey cat, with orange fur, and white feet that made it appear to wear socks. Cade walked to it, and started to cradle the fragile thing, tenderly, and with care.
Feeling sorry for something wasn't common for Cade. Expressing a usual belief in looking out for number one.
" what's this? big bad Cade is capable of COMPASSION?", said Rogar, in a half questioning, half mocking tone.
" I am NOT! i just have a....soft spot for....cats.i kinda feel sorry for the little guy out here in this terrible rain."
" well we can't go picking up every stray we see, we can't accommodate for it, can we?", asked Rogar. Dimitrius answered that,
" why not? we've got a cleric who can summon food and water, the only question will be whether or not it will take to us."
" Aye."
" looks like somebody has an animal companion! Lucky you!"
" let's go, i'm tired o' tha' rain."...