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Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-22, 01:20 AM
Free loan consulatations! Offshore, private accounts! Secure transfers that leave no paper trail! Credit and Debit Cards available! So, stop on by today!

SERVICES
-Offshore Accounts
-On-site Accounts
-Notary Services
-Loan Services
-Credit/Debit Cards
-Safe Deposit Boxes

Death, your friend the Reaper
2006-05-22, 06:43 AM
Can i open a Swiss bank account *signs paperwork*

lost_my_NHL
2006-05-22, 02:38 PM
"Ah, yes, this is just what we need. A place to hide all of the "oil" sales. I shall take one out"

*fills in information, passes a briefcase over the counter*

Reijas
2006-05-22, 02:45 PM
I would like to open a simple checking account for my modest Policeman's wages.

Ghost_of_Zashrak
2006-05-22, 02:50 PM
Can you handle a trust account for my estate, the dead hand must rule from beyond the grave!

*signs Intermortis Trust as own settlor and trustee...alas ineffective without incorporeal ink!!*

InaVegt
2006-05-22, 03:09 PM
I would like to open an account and make a deposit.
/me puts a collosal sized bag filled with platinum pieces on the counter

Were-Sandwich
2006-05-22, 03:49 PM
The non-existant GITP mafia which doesn't exist would like to open an imaginary account for storing its pretend money from its "legitimate business transactions. *;)

*Puts a non-existant bag with an unreal $ symbol on the table and becomes very interested in his shoe laces, whistling*

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-22, 06:02 PM
Can i open a Swiss bank account *signs paperwork*
Certainly! We can wire money there as needed.


"Ah, yes, this is just what we need. A place to hide all of the "oil" sales. I shall take one out"

Not a problem. We'll gladly accept your 'oil' funds, no questions asked. Would you like an off-shore or -on-site account?


I would like to open a simple checking account for my modest Policeman's wages.
Right away, sir. If you could please fill this out.
*Hands lengthy forms to Reijas*


Can you handle a trust account for my estate, the dead hand must rule from beyond the grave!

*signs Intermortis Trust as own settlor and trustee...alas ineffective without incorporeal ink!!*


Has your attorney already looked at this? If you're ready, we can provide a notary. The fee is 50 gp.


I would like to open an account and make a deposit.
/me puts a collosal sized bag filled with platinum pieces on the counter
And what account type would you like?


The non-existant GITP mafia which doesn't exist would like to open an imaginary account for storing its pretend money from its "legitimate business transactions. ;)

*Puts a non-existant bag with an unreal $ symbol on the table and becomes very interested in his shoe laces, whistling*
Oh, you don't want an account? Are you sure?

Kyrian
2006-05-22, 11:52 PM
I would like to open a checking account and get a debit card if that is possible.

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-23, 03:19 PM
I would like to open a checking account and get a debit card if that is possible.
Certainly. And what would your initial deposit be?

Kyle
2006-05-23, 03:25 PM
"Sir after your current buisness I would like to open an account, but I would like to speak in private. Says one of the two kyle's which walk in.

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-23, 03:28 PM
"Sir after your current buisness I would like to open an account, but I would like to speak in private. Says one of the two kyle's which walk in.
Yes, I'll be just a moment.

InaVegt
2006-05-24, 03:23 AM
I would like an account with easy withdrawals, preferable some sort of cash card, the type with a 4 number code that you'll have to type to pay with it.

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-24, 06:12 PM
"Right away!"

Pop leaves for a moment with the bag and returns with a contract and a card.

"Sign here. Here is your card, bubble in your code on this form. Thank you, hava an excellent day."

Gengy
2006-05-24, 06:43 PM
"I am here to open a... business account for the H.O.R.D.E. The new... summer camp outside of town? We... wait. Ah, camp warden Pop. Good. This will be easy then, I trust? Something simple, with a small loan and low interest?" The cowled huminoid in purple places the paper work on the counter, and gloved hand moving deftly, signs in all the proper places.

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-24, 07:31 PM
"I am here to open a... business account for the H.O.R.D.E. The new... summer camp outside of town? We... wait. Ah, camp warden Pop. Good. This will be easy then, I trust? Something simple, with a small loan and low interest?" The cowled huminoid in purple places the paper work on the counter, and gloved hand moving deftly, signs in all the proper places.
"No. No problem at all...overl-...warden"

Fishies
2006-05-24, 07:46 PM
"How much is interest?"

Gengy
2006-05-24, 11:04 PM
"Thank you. And that is... Camp Director." The cowled figure exits the building

InaVegt
2006-05-25, 04:46 AM
/me signs contract

Reijas
2006-05-25, 08:40 AM
reads through all the forms (if there is anything slipped in, let me know)

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-25, 10:23 AM
/me signs contract
"Thank you. You will be able to use your card in about 20 minutes"

((Nothing added, Reijas))

Reijas
2006-05-25, 10:55 AM
signs his papers and deposit's his paychecks from the police station

RedMage
2006-05-25, 10:57 AM
My good sir may I open a saftey deposit box?

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-25, 03:14 PM
"Thank you for your patronage, Reijas. Would you like a credit or debit card to go along with that, free of charge?

Kolbold, the rate is currently 10 gp/month. Is that alright?"

lost_my_NHL
2006-05-26, 11:32 PM
runs in, panting. "I need an SDB. A very secure one"

fills out paperwork

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-26, 11:52 PM
A receptionist walks up to you.
I'm sorry that Mr. Pop can't be with you. He is currently dealing with legal matters. You SDB is ready, the charge is 10 gp/month. Thank you!

Renrik
2006-05-27, 12:09 AM
I need an unmarked bank account for the Masked Troupe, and I wish to deposit exactly 390 goldpeices in it at this time.

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-05-27, 12:23 AM
Certainly, here is your paperwork.

RedMage
2006-05-27, 04:57 AM
"Thank you for your patronage, Reijas. Would you like a credit or debit card to go along with that, free of charge?

Kolbold, the rate is currently 10 gp/month. Is that alright?"

Screw it i'll just keep the spare Tardis keys somewhere else

iamkoolerthanu
2006-05-30, 12:04 AM
Looks around, admiring Pop the evil horses work here.

Gengy
2006-06-11, 01:35 PM
The cloaked figure of the Camp Director walks back into the bank.

"I am here to make a minor withdrawl from the camp bank account, and also to open a safe deposit box. I am certain you will be able to assist me." The pleasent voice says from under the hood.

Pop Goes the Weasel
2006-06-11, 10:08 PM
"Yes, sir. Right away"
The receptionist leaves and returns with paperwork.

Gengy
2006-06-12, 01:43 PM
"Thank you." The gloved hands reach out and take the paperwork, quickly filling it out and handing it back. "Please lead me to the SDBs. I have two items I wish to insert at this time."

DarkHunter
2007-01-10, 11:09 AM
Fendran slinks into the building, and his eyes go wide

This place has a BANK? ! ? Who would be foolish enough to trust their money to a separate facility around here?

Fendran makes a note of the place for later, then wanders out again.

Fenric
2007-01-11, 11:05 AM
A man in a dark robe walks in and lingers near a check-writing table.

Shortly after, a man in remarkably fine, silvery chainmail wearing a rich cloak comes in and goes up to the counter, inquiring about opening a new account.

DarkHunter
2007-01-11, 11:42 AM
Fendran strides into the building, along with two other shady characters.

At his signal, the man in chainmail drops to the floor while the man at the checkwriting platform blasts the counter with a Mordenkainen's Disjunction. The man in chainmail then jumps up and vaults over the counter while drawing his rapier.

Fendran and the other two spellweavers begin blasting anything that moves with Magic Missiles, Finger of Death, and Disintegrate; whichever seems most appropriate to the target.

The man in chainmail quickly scoops gold and platinum into a bag of holding.

Fenric
2007-01-11, 11:48 AM
The weaver who cast the disjunction uses Passwall to simply walk through the counter and into the back, accompanied by the other two. He disjoins and then disintegrates the vault door while his accomplices dispatch the guards.

Fendran stays near the door, keeping watch.

DarkHunter
2007-01-11, 11:52 AM
The three evil spellweavers rapidly plunder the vault, then join the man in chainmail up front. The four pass through the counter and rejoin Fendran out front.

They all laugh as they flee the building.