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Admiral Squish
2011-02-28, 01:12 AM
The Fleshforge Legacy (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=187311)

Raptorans
http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs18/f/2007/218/8/1/Garuda_by_BeBelial.jpg

Raptorans Are a race of avians created by the shapers of Myralis to serve in the crop ring. The main feature that set them apart from the rest of the common races is the large, feathery wings that sprout from their backs and their talon-like feet. The raptorans are sexually dimorphic, a trait engineered by the shapers. Males are larger than the females, with more colorful plumage and powerful, ripping talons. They serve the crop ring as guardians and warriors. The females, in contrast, are smaller, with more dexterous talons and dull brown plumage. They are the labor, gathering the crops, separating them, and maintaining the balance of the crop circle.

Personality:
Males: Male raptorans are competitive and vain, with an interest in intellectual pursuits, but these interests are all secondary to their duty as guardians. Raptoran males train for several hours each day, practicing their techniques and honing their skills. However, when not training or actively patrolling, most of their time is spent preening their plumage or engaging in sparring matches, or aerial tests of speed and skill, or debating philosophical points among one-another. Male raptorans prefer planning to rash action and, if the time is available, will discuss options with their compatriots before taking action. However, when combat is joined, male raptorans are ruthlessly efficient, striking hard and fast with overwhelming force.
Females: Female raptorans are soft-spoken and subtle, with a quiet grace. They are hard-working, showing almost as much zeal in their farming as the males do in their battle. Females fly or glide out into the rings each day, the younger ones Ďhoppingí from wall to wall with short bursts of flight. Those too young or too old for the work, along with females sitting on eggs or raising their children, remain in the aeries. There is very little time for rest, even for these females, as they all take part in raising the young ones and preparing food for the males and the returning females.

Physical Description:
Males: Male raptorans are larger than their female counterparts, usually standing between 5í8Ē and 6í4Ē. Their bodes are extremely light and slender, weighing only slightly over 120 pounds. They have somewhat narrow faces, with fine, delicate features, and muscular but slim builds. Their forearms, thighs, and wings bear colorful feathers, ranging from snowy white to glossy black, with red, green, blue, and gold being the most common. When fully outstretched, their wings span 10 to 12 feet, although raptorans (when not flying) are more comfortable with them folded behind their backs. An interlocking series of ligaments allows raptorans to lock their wings in the outstretched position, enabling them to glide for long periods without tiring
Raptoran male hands are much like human hands, but they end in a thick, almost clawlike fingernail. Ratoran legs however, are quite different. Their knees can bend in either direction, bending forward for normal walking, or backward when in flight. Their legs below the knee are usually dark gray, with scale-like skin and ending in four-toed talons, with three forward claws and a toe claw that can fold against the side of the foot for normal walking or shift around to the back to perch and grasp. Each toe ends in a 3-inch razor-sharp talon, designed to tear flesh, which male raptorans can put to great use in battle.
Male raptorans do not grow facial hair or body hair, though they do grow proper hair on their heads. The hair usually comes in black, blonde, or red, and itís almost always worn long and tied up in a tight bun.
Females: Female raptorans are smaller than their males, standing between 5í and 5í8Ē. Their bodies are extremely light and slender, weighing an average of just under 80 lbs. They have humanlike faces, though they do generally have longer noses than most humans. Their forearms, thighs, and wings are all covered with dull, brown feathers, with a few black feathers mixed in. Occasionally, a female will have pure white feathers, which is generally considered to be a sign. All-white females are admitted into the male training schools and treated as males. When fully outstretched, their wings span 10 to 12 feet, although raptorans (when not flying) are more comfortable with them folded behind their backs. An interlocking series of ligaments allows raptorans to lock their wings in the outstretched position, enabling them to glide for long periods without tiring.
Raptoran female hands are much like human hands, but they end in thick, almost clawlike fingernails. These claws are less pronounced on the females than the males. Ratoran legs however, are quite different. Their knees can bend in either direction, bending forward for normal walking, or backward when in flight. Their legs below the knee are usually yellow or gray, with scale-like skin and ending in four-toed talons, with three forward claws and a toe claw that can fold against the side of the foot for normal walking or shift around to the back to perch and grasp. Each toe ends in a short talon designed more for gripping then combat.
Female raptorans do not grow body hair, though they do grow proper hair on their heads. The hair usually comes in shades of brown and occasionally auburn, and is almost always worn long and tied up in a ponytail. In recent years, short hair has become more common among the females, though it is still not as common as the traditional ponytail. Female raptorans do not have breasts, and they lay eggs.

Relations: Male raptorans are generally the dominant ones in raptoran society, and are usually the only ones to encounter outsiders. Raptorans distrust most outsiders, and any outsider allowed into the crop ring is carefully watched by a small squad of males. Any outsider who attacks or damages the crops or the crop beasts immediately earns the ire of the raptorans as a whole. Gnomes are well-received, though they may still earn some wary eyes on their backs. Orcs and goliaths are generally disliked, since their armyís march on Myralis crushed many crops underfoot. Elves are a routine annoyance in the east, though the males find a great deal of common ground with shifters, particularly the swiftwing shifters. Raptoran society itself is harshly divided. The males are the warriors and protectors, and the females are the workers. Females are forbidden from flying above the level of the outer and inner walls, except in emergencies. This rule is not malicious, it is simply to make it easier for the male patrols to keep an eye on the females. The males and females interact very little. The only exceptions to this are the three-month mating season in the spring, where males compete in skill, strength, and beauty for the attentions of the females, and the egg laying. Males remain with their mates until their children are old enough to leave the nest.

Alignment: Both male and female raptorans show a strong tendancy towards the lawful side, and a general tendancy towards good, though there are a number of chaotic and evil raptorans around.

Raptoran Lands: There are sixteen raptoran aeries positioned around the interior edge of the crop ring. Each has a slightly different culture than the others, but most retain the same general themes. Males live in the upper portion of the aeries, where they have their martial schools, training chambers, roosts, and lounges. The females live below. There are also a number of smaller, mini-aeries along the outer rim, where male colonies spend season-long terms guarding the outer walls.

Language: Raptorans speak a musical tongue named Tuilvilanuue. Ultimately descended from halfling, the language has many musically complex words that can span several bars, but the grammar is relatively simple, using tempo to convey much of the meaning. The raptor an tongue is all but impossible for most humanoids, with only talented halflings able to master the musical inflections. Raptoran text uses a hybrid of elven shorthand and halfling annotation to get the point across. Most raptor an writing is usued practically. Males often write poetry, but prefer memorization to writing it down.

Names: Raptoran names are three-part, with a personal name, followed by both their parentís personal names. The order of the parentís names depends on the gender. Females will put the motherís name first, while males put the fatherís first. Most will introduce themselves with their first two names, though using all three is proper for formal introductions.

Adventurers: Raptoran males are most likely to become adventurers, striking out from the aerie to see the world and hone their skills. They often bring the raptoran fighting styles with them as swordsages or other martial adepts. Females are less likely to leave, though some grow curious about the world beyond the walls, usually sneaking out or being banished for shirking their duties. Most of them become rogues, though the most common class among female raptorans is cleric.

RAPTORAN RACIAL TRAITS
These traits are in addition to normal raptoran traits, except where noted.

+2 Dexterity, +2 Wisdom, -2 constitution. Raptorans have good reflexes and a developed sense of self, but their hollow bones make them somewhat fragile.
Raptoran base land speed is 20 feet. Their talons are useful for grasping, but make them somewhat slower on foot.
Medium: As Medium creatures, raptorans have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size
Wing-Aided Movement: Raptorans can use their wings to help with movement even if they canít fly yet. The extra lift from her wings gives a raptoran a +10 racial bonus on Jump checks.
Gliding (Ex): A raptoran can use their wings to glide, negating damage from a fall of any height and allowing 20 feet of forward travel for every 5 feet of descent. Raptorans glide at a speed of 40 feet (average maneuverability). Even if a raptoranís maneuverability improves, they canít hover while gliding. A raptoran canít glide while carrying a medium or heavy load.
If a raptoran becomes unconscious or helpless while in midair, their wings naturally unfurl and powerful ligaments stiffen the wings. The raptoran descends in a tight corkscrew and takes only 1d6 points of falling damage, no matter what the actual distance of the fall.
Flight (Ex): When a raptoran reaches 5 Hit Dice, they becomes able to fly at a speed of 40 feet (average maneuverability). A raptoran canít fly while carrying a medium or heavy load or while fatigued or exhausted.
Raptorans can safely fly for a number of rounds equal to their Constitution modifier (minimum 1 round). They can exert themselves to fly for up to twice as long, but then theyíre fatigued at the end of the flight. Raptorans are likewise fatigued after spending a total of more than 10 minutes per day flying. Because raptorans can glide before, after, and between rounds of actual flight, they can remain aloft for extended periods (even if they can only use flight for 1 round at a time without becoming fatigued).
When they reach 10 Hit Dice, raptorans have enough stamina and prowess to fly for longer periods. They can fly at a speed of 40 feet (average maneuverability), and flying requires no more exertion than walking or running.
A raptoran with flight can make a dive attack. A dive attack works like a charge, but the raptoran must move a minimum of 30 feet and descend at least 10 feet. A raptor an can make a dive attack only when wielding a piercing weapon; if the attack hits, it deals double damage.
A raptoran with flight can use the run action while flying, provided she flies in a straight line.
Low-Light Vision: A raptoran can see twice as far as a human in starlight, moonlight, torchlight, and similar conditions of poor illumination. A raptoran retains the ability to distinguish color and detail under these conditions.
+2 racial bonus on Climb and Spot checks. Raptorans have strong grips with both hands and feet, and their eyes are unusually keen.
Automatic Languages: Common and Tuilvilanuue. Bonus Languages: Draconic, Elven, Gnome, Goblin, Orc,
and Sylvan.


MALE TRAITS:

Talons: Male raptorans have a primary talon attack that deals 1d6 points of damage. He takes a -4 penalty to this attack if he is standing on the ground. The raptoran may make a DC 10 jump check as a swift action to negate this penalty.
Weapon Proficiency: A raptoran is considered proficient with the footbow, scimitar, falcion, and spear.
Favored Class: Swordsage. A multiclass raptoranís swordsage class does not count when determining whether he takes an experience point penalty.


FEMALE TRAITS:

Unerring direction: A raptoran female always knows which direction is north even when they are underground or otherwise unable to see the sky or other visual cues. In addition, a female raptoran always knows her current position in relation to other places she has been. This ability only functions on the material plane.
Chamoflage: A raptoran female gains a +4 bonus to hide checks because of their dull plumage. In overgrown areas, this bonus increases to +10.
Favored Class: Cleric. A multiclass raptoranís cleric class does not count when determining whether she takes an experience point penalty.

Admiral Squish
2011-02-28, 01:16 AM
These are the raptorans for my new campaign setting. In an effort to save post-space and encourage review, I'm going to be posting each of the races as a separate thread and linking them to the main thread. Hopefully, the playground will find the task of review a little less intimidating this way.

The main reason I divided them up was because I wanted a caste-based system of guardians and laborers. I figured the simplest way to do this was to divide the genders. Sexual dimorphism is quite common in avians, after all. I'm glad I did, too, the original plan called for chickenfolk and this is much more interesting.

Admiral Squish
2011-03-02, 07:00 PM
So, no commentary? At all? Come on, I'm concerned here.

Pokonic
2011-03-03, 04:28 PM
Aww, dont say that!:smallfrown:

Anyway, they look good exept possibly the Naturebound ability, mostly due to the fact it makes females a little too caster focused. Perhapes some ability that playes up there relativey slender body type?

Admiral Squish
2011-03-03, 05:39 PM
Aww, dont say that!:smallfrown:

Anyway, they look good exept possibly the Naturebound ability, mostly due to the fact it makes females a little too caster focused. Perhapes some ability that playes up there relatively slender body type?

Hmm... I like the idea, but I'm not sure anything would fit. Slight build is a hide bonus and the ability to squeeze. Maybe a bonus to AC to represent the smaller profile, but then the wings would make up for that...

Maybe a hide bonus 'cause of their plumage? +4 normally, +10 in overgrown areas?

pilvento
2011-03-04, 01:48 PM
nice rework u did there, but swordsage seriously? normaly core clases are used for races favored class, chose cleric or ranger better

Admiral Squish
2011-03-04, 11:29 PM
nice rework u did there, but swordsage seriously? normaly core clases are used for races favored class, chose cleric or ranger better

Well, the favored class for orcs is warblade. I think swordsage fits the best, honestly.

Fable Wright
2011-03-26, 07:03 PM
Small mechanical bit: they have a +10 racial bonus on jump checks, and they need to take a DC 10 jump check to negate this penalty... am I the only one seeing a disconnect there?

As for the culture, I'm seeing a distinct lack of what they actually do... you say that the women help out farming, and you describe how the farming is done... what do they do outside of the harvest time? Seriously, what? They have to do something. Do they draw? Paint? Run a religious service? If so what do they do in it? You also say that there is little free time for them, but what do they actually work on in this self-supporting farm system that cannot get disrupted? In a related tangent, what do they do if someone enters their fields? Clerical debuffs? Try to kill it themselves? Hide? Sic the wild animals on them? What? Also, why do they venerate white-winged females? What legend prompted it? More culture is always better. Also, why can they sense direction? Why is this needed? How does this help them? Why did they get this power from the Shapers? More details please. Also, on the crops: How are they spread? Are they sold to halfing merchants? Do the raptorians deliver them? Also, as they have a nearly complete monopoly on the grain trade, how do they determine prices? And what do they do with the wealth? They have all they need- food, jobs, and a place to live, not to mention healthcare benefits- gnommish physicians and so on. Also, something mentioning about how they interact with the other races is good, as well as how the other races view them. In addition, what is their tech level? They don't seem to need much, given that all they do is just tend the fields and fight enemies from above, but do they have any unique weapons and technology only found or used in their culture? For example, something needing both arms and legs to use? A double footbow? A double crossbow? Four-weapon fighting techniques? A unique marital arts style? What did they contribute to the setting, aside from being flying? Why did the Shapers choose them as the caretakers of the place, instead of a mantis-y thing that could leap across the walls, had every part of their body a sharp blade, so that they were living weapons for defense, and could harvest the grain by just walking through it?

Admiral Squish
2011-03-26, 08:28 PM
There is no disconnect. That's EXACTLY THE INTENT. Anyone with a rank or two in jump should be able to make that check. The raptoran would just hop, flap, and claw. The point is that it takes an action. Plus, there's the natural 1 possibility, where the raptoran mis-jumps and falls prone or something.

Outside of harvest time, they basically make sure that everything's still running smoothly. The crops aren't sick, the water's clear, the lizards are on time, the scytheboars haven't broken the walls... Then you throw magic into the mix. Maybe the females are going out, casting plant growth every week or two. Seriously, what do you do every day on a farm? They're doing that.

Outside the harves, the females do things, too. There's art, there's raising the children... As for what they do when somebody comes into the fields, well, that's what the men are for. If they're doing their job, the outsiders don't even make it past the outer wall. If they by some miracle manage to get past the fifty-foot stone wall without attracting the attention of the eagle-eyed males patrolling constantly, the females would likely scream for help. Why would you let the males get away with not helping with the farm if they weren't good for something?

The white wings are something that normally only appears on males. As such, the females with white wings are seen as special, and are thus raised as men.

The direction sense is useful to always find your way back to the nest. Mostly, thoughm it's just a trait that came from the birds when they were mixed in. As adventurers it can be useful. Get teleported across the world, or underground, and while you might no know EXACTLY where you are, you would be able o tell that you're a good ways north of where you were before, or that you only moved the teeniest bit.

The crops are shipped out by roc. Rocs towing dozens of magically floating crates, ridden by males who serve double duty as guards and delivery men. They might take a lady or two along for their direction sense. See, there's a reason for you.

Generally, they set the prices the same way anyone else does. It was a good year, it was a bad year, it's hard to ship out to here, these guys are right next door, the elves tried to kill us on the way here, yadda yadda yadda. The same factors apply. As for how the money's distributed, I'd say relatively even among the aerie making the shipment. There would probably be a sizable chunk the aerie government would keep to do things for the aerie, like hiring gnomes, or buying food other than bread.

You know, there's an entire section called relations that deals exclusively with how the raptorans interact with other races...

The tech level is about that same as any other culture. This is all one continent, they're right next door to the dwarves in some parts. The shapers distributed tech and tech-related knowledge wherever it was needed.

The footbow already requires both arms and legs to use. Their feet aren't dexerous enough to wield weapons like hands, they're talons. They're good for slicing open faces, and sometimes walking on them, but not much more. They're also the source for a good number of swordsage martial disciplines.

Because Ferrara made the blood caste, and Ferrara doesn't share research. Also, sure, they can jump, but can they jump with perfect accuracy every time while carrying 50 pounds of grain? Plus, caw's aren't really SHARP in the sense of cutting things like a blade. They're good at damaging things because they allow the critter to puncture the skin and tear. Cutting through a thick cornstalk would still be difficult.