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Ursus the Grim
2011-03-29, 02:12 PM
Ursus the Grim's Homebrews, Installation I.

Hello again, everyone. I've been working on a few homebrews that I'm at the end of my rope with, and instead of spamming the forum with my half-finished abominations, I figured its tidyer and more courteous to keep it all quarantined to one location.

This week I present to you the Eviscerator. I may also bump the weaker abilities up, such as Improved Sunder and Maul.


http://th05.deviantart.net/images/300W/large/indyart/indymisc/now_a_werewolf.jpg

"Pick up your sword, human, and we shall see whose blade is keener."
-Grim Cano, Eviscerator


The Eviscerator


The world is a restless place. Even when the dwarves, humans, and elves are not clashing amongst themselves, they are constantly at war. Settlers and hunters attempt to expand into untamed wilderness, driving out the savage natives. Watchmen and militia defend small towns from dangerous raids by uncivilized monsters. Slowly, these conflicts tend to turn in favor of the civilized races, their weapons and armor improve and improve until hides yield to keen blades, and claws fall beneath a hail of arrows. Some of the sentient wild ones attempt to adapt, crafting or stealing weapons and armor of their own. Some individuals, even faced with the option of wielding these arms, shun them. They scorn the weapons of their enemies, viewing them as crutches for inferior beings. They much prefer to charge into battle, even if they take a few feathers on the way. The payoff comes when their claws find their way into the weak areas of scale mail, slicing through the flesh beneath, when their focused blows prove stronger than steel as they shatter blades. These few savage creatures are Eviscerators, from many weapons but of a similar combat philosophy.

Abilities: Strength is the most important for an Eviscerator, as it determines the damage he deals in melee, his ability to hit his foe, the save DCs for his special abilities, and his ability to grapple. Constitution is important as well, because many Eviscerators wear light or no armor and thus tend to be hit often. Dexterity may help the Eviscerator avoid unnecessary damage, and it is also important for several of his class skills.

Role: An Eviscerator is almost exclusively a melee combatant, able to dish out plenty of hurt and receive some in turn. His unique abilities give him the edge in single combat, but when outnumbered his effectiveness decreases significantly. The Eviscerator is the one you want to send after the biggest threat, tying them up with a dangerous grapple or simply tearing them apart.

Background: Most Eviscerators dwell on the fringes of civilization's expansion, augmenting the front-line of the monstrous races against the encroachment of dwarven kingdoms, human empires, and elven republics alike. Eviscerators are generally sent on solo tasks to counter small forces or to assassinate important targets. As a monster moves along the path of the Eviscerator, his strength is normally recognized by his people. Many Eviscerators find themselves chieftain, leader, or at least a favored bodyguard to someone with the brains to lead the organization.

Organization: Eviscerators who meet often have a mutual respect for one another, once the similarities become apparent. This, however, hardly means they bond. Instead, what is initially a fight between two entities on different sides of a conflict often flares up into an intense duel to determine the strength of one over the other.

Alignment: Any. Many Eviscerators tend to take some pleasure from the visceral feeling of entrails in their claws, so the class tends to suit evil creatures. Others take a philosophical approach to it, feeling that in order to acknowledge a death one must carry it out with their own hands and accept responsibility. To murder someone from five feet away feels like cowardice to these few Eviscerators, but to slay them in arms reach gives their death meaning and the act honor.

Races: The abilities of an Eviscerator assume the character has natural claw attacks. Common Eviscerators include werewolves, lizardfolk, and troglodytes. Smaller Eviscerators are less common, dealing less damage and being able to use less of the classes abilities, but the occasional kobold can be found dextrously avoiding blows while lacerating their opponents. A more traditional race, such as human, can be chosen, but any race without natural claw attacks deals claw damage as if they were one size smaller, and tend to attract a great deal of unwanted attention.

Religion: Eviscerators prefer to rely on their own power than to beg some unknown entity for it. They do not deny the existence of gods, but they rarely pay them any due. Generally, religious Eviscerators worship the god of their race, though evil Eviscerators tend towards Erythnul, and good ones towards Kord.

Other Classes: Eviscerators often clash with members of other classes. They scoff at the Paladin's and Fighter's reliance on forged weapons, and distrust the unnatural tilt of the Sorceror or Wizard. Of the Divine Spellcaster, the Druid may earn some of their respect. Eviscerators are known to prefer the company of Barbarians, Monks, and the occasional Ranger, because of their similarities in combat style.

Adaptation: Will be addressed in this thread. Help me adapt it to balance.

Hit Die: d10

Starting Gold: d4 x 10 gold.

Class Features

Class Skills: The Eviscerator’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are as follows: Balance (Dex), Climb (Str), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Profession (Wis), Spot (Wis), Survival (Wis), and Swim (Str).

Skill Points at First Level: (4 + Intelligence Modifier) x 4
Skill Points Per Level After First: 4 + Intelligence Modifier

{table=head]Level|Base Attack Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Claw Damage|Natural Armor Bonus|Special

1st|
+1|
+2|
+2|
+0|
1d8|
+1|Pounce, Lacerate (1/day, d4 Con)

2nd|
+2|
+3|
+3|
+0|
1d8|
+1|

3rd|
+3|
+3|
+3|
+1|
1d8|
+1|Improved Grapple

4th|
+4|
+4|
+4|
+1|
2d6|
+1| Lacerate (d6 Con)

5th|
+5|
+4|
+4|
+1|
2d6|
+2|Deadly Claws (magic)

6th|
+6/+1|
+5|
+5|
+2|
2d6|
+2|

7th|
+7/+2|
+5|
+5|
+2|
2d6|
+2|Maul (+1d6)

8th|
+8/+3|
+6|
+6|
+2|
2d8|
+2| Improved Grab

9th|
+9/+4|
+6|
+6|
+3|
2d8|
+2| Lacerate (3/day)

10th|
+10/+5|
+7|
+7|
+3|
2d8|
+3| Deadly Claws (adamantine)

11th|
+11/+6/+1|
+7|
+7|
+3|
2d8|
+3|

12th|
+12/+7/+2|
+8|
+8|
+4|
3d6|
+3|

13th|
+13/+8/+3|
+8|
+8|
+4|
3d6|
+3| Improved Sunder

14th|
+14/+9/+4|
+9|
+9|
+4|
3d6|
+3|Torment

15th|
+15/+10/+5|
+9|
+9|
+5|
3d6|
+4|Lacerate (5/day, 2d4 Con)

16th|
+16/+11/+6/+1|
+10|
+10|
+5|
3d8|
+4|Rend

17th|
+17/+12/+7/+2|
+10|
+10|
+5|
3d8|
+4|Deadly Claws (ghost touch)

18th|
+18/+13/+8/+3|
+11|
+11|
+6|
3d8|
+4|Maul (+1d8 damage)

19th|
+19/+14/+9/+4|
+11|
+11|
+6|
3d8|
+4|

20th|
+20/+15/+10/+5|
+12|
+12|
+6|
4d8|
+5|Tear Asunder[/table]

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Eviscerators gain only proficiency with simple weapons and light armor.

Claw Damage: As outlined in the table above, Eviscerators of medium size deal the indicated amount of claw damage in lieu of their regular damage. Effects that increase unarmed damage increase this damage as well. Eviscerators are treated as having Improved Unarmed Attack for all purposes, including those requiring it as a prerequisite. Eviscerators of small or large size deal the damage indicated below. Eviscerators that do not naturally have a natural attack deal damage as if they were one size category smaller.

Claw Damage for Small and Large Eviscerators
{table=head]Level|Small Claw Damage|Large Claw Damage

1st-3rd|
1d6|
2d6

4th-7th|
1d8|
3d6

8th-11th|
1d10|
3d8

12th-15th|
2d6|
4d6

16th-19th|
2d8|
6d6

20th|
2d10|
6d8[/table]


Natural Armor Bonus: An Eviscerator gains an increase to its natural armor equal to the amount indicated on the table. If the Eviscerator does not have natural armor, it now gains it, using the value given above.

Pounce (Ex): When charging, an Eviscerator may make an attack with each of its claws, rather than just one.

Lacerate (Ex): An Eviscerator knows how to make its prey bleed. Once per day, he may declare one attack as a Lacerate attempt. If the attack hits, the opponent must make a Fortitude save or take 1d4 Constitution damage, and an additional point of damage each turn for a number of turns equal to the Constitution damage. For instance, an enemy hit for 3 points of Consitution damage would lose 1 hit point each round for three rounds. The save DC is equal to the Eviscerator's class level plus his Consitution bonus. At 4th level, the Consitution damage increases to d6, at 9th level, the Eviscerator may use this ability three times per day, and at 15th level, the Eviscerator may use it 5/day and deal 2d4 Consitution damage.

Improved Grapple (Ex): An Eviscerator gains Improved Grapple as a bonus feat upon reaching third level.

Deadly Claws (Ex): The Eviscerator's claws, through training and bloodshed, are not to be underestimated. At 5th level, they are treated as magic weapons for purposes of overcoming damage reduction. At 10th level, they are treated as being made of adamantine. At 17th level, they may strike incorporeal creatures as if they had the ghost touch special quality.

Maul (Ex): Any time an Eviscerator of 7th level or higher makes a succesful grapple check to deal damage, he deals extra damage. At 7th level, this damage is 1d6. At 18th level, it increases to 1d8.

Improved Grab (Ex): At 8th level and higher, an Eviscerator who hits a creature his size or smaller with both claw attacks may choose to initiate a grapple automatically, without any attacks of opportunity or touch attack. If the Eviscerator is at least one size category larger than the grappled opponent, he may choose to hold the opponent with one claw, leaving himself free to act normally but taking a -20 to his grapple check. An Eviscerator may not use Improved Grab and Rend or Tear Asunder at the same time.

Improved Sunder (Ex): At 13th level, the Eviscerator gains Improved Sunder as a bonus feat.

Torment (Ex): Any hostile spellcaster adjacent to a level 14 Eviscerator suffers a -4 penalty to Concentration checks, and attacks of opportunity for casting a spell benefit from a +4 circumstance bonus.

Rend (Ex): Any creature hit by both of a 16th level Eviscerator's claws in a single round takes additional damage equal to twice the Eviscerator's claw damage, plus one and a half times his strength modifier. Thus, a creature hit by a 16th level Eviscerator's claws (with a Strength 18) takes 6d8+6 points of damage.

Tear Asunder (Ex): In addition to taking Rend damage, any living creature struck in the same round by both of a level 20 Eviscerator's claws must make either a Fortitude Save or an opposed grapple check. The save for the Fortitude Save is equal to 10 + half the Eviscerator's level + his strength Bonus). If the save or check fails, the creature is immediately ripped apart, as if by massive damage. The Eviscerator may choose to use this ability when grappling an opponent, at which point the opponent suffers a -4 penalty on the roll.

The Drawing Board
Mage Slayer (modified)
Deny ability to cast defensively, attack of opportunity for anyone attempting a 5 foot step.
Dancing Mongoose at level 10
Fountain of Blood at level 8
Prey on the Weak at level 14
Raging Mongoose at level 16
Rapid Assault early, +d6 to damage in first round.
Reaping Talons - Cornered Predator, early.
Intimidate abilities
Add Con Bonus to natural armor.
Proficiency with punching daggers, kukri, handaxe, sai, and siangham.
Extra pointy throwing.
Healing burst.
Some stealth abilities.
Buff to Lacerate, Rend, Tear Asunder and Maul.
Fluff, fluff, fluff.

Ursus the Grim
2011-03-29, 03:59 PM
Okay, essential construction finished. Tweaking some formatting here and there, but all the bones appear to be in the right places.

Sacrieur
2011-03-29, 04:19 PM
Just off the bat, levels 7 - 9 are missing their second attacks.

Ursus the Grim
2011-03-29, 05:09 PM
Ah, whoops. Clearly I need to fix more than that. Thanks for the catch.

PairO'Dice Lost
2011-03-29, 07:25 PM
Honestly, this is a fairly boring class. I don't want to sound overly harsh, but all it gets is some claw attacks, some natural armor, a few grapple-focused abilities, and a single SoD at 20th level. A Tiger Claw-focused warblade or totemist--or heck, even a monk!--can do everything this class can do and more, and earlier than the eviscerator can, except pick up the improved grab ability, and if for some reason someone believes a single ability is worth 8 levels in a class, eviscerator 8/[something else] 12 does the job better.

If you want to fix this problem, you're probably going to have to rewrite it from scratch; take a look at the warblade and totemist for inspiration for natural weapon goodies, monk for AC and damage values, and higher-level fighter bonus feats (for instance, Mage Slayer > Harrow).

Ursus the Grim
2011-03-29, 07:38 PM
Honestly, this is a fairly boring class. I don't want to sound overly harsh, but all it gets is some claw attacks, some natural armor, a few grapple-focused abilities, and a single SoD at 20th level.

Nah, harshness is fine with this one. I threw it together from scratch, and its my first homebrew without some kind of guideline. Let me address a few things first.


A Tiger Claw-focused warblade or totemist--or heck, even a monk!--can do everything this class can do and more, and earlier than the eviscerator can, except pick up the improved grab ability, and if for some reason someone believes a single ability is worth 8 levels in a class, eviscerator 8/[something else] 12 does the job better.

Hm. Perhaps its because I haven't played a 1-20 campaign in a few years, but I guess I just failed to grasp what levels would be appropriate for these abilities. A Monk, though? Harsh. Actually, I put this together in order to make monsters viable in unarmed combat without, you know, unarmed combat.


If you want to fix this problem, you're probably going to have to rewrite it from scratch; take a look at the warblade and totemist for inspiration for natural weapon goodies, monk for AC and damage values, and higher-level fighter bonus feats (for instance, Mage Slayer > Harrow).

Like I said, I've been looking at Monk. It uses natural armor progression equal to one point higher than the Monk. I feared making it MAD, so I allowed it light armor proficiency in lieu of (Wis Bonus) to AC. On the other hand, I feared it wouldn't be do to have just the Monk's base bonus, so I buffed it a bit. The claw damage for a medium Eviscerator is equivalent to a Large Monk, I figured that would streamline their attacks but still give them something for "losing" their claws.

I will look at Warblade some more (I used Girallon Windmill Flesh Rip to determine what level the Rend damage would be available at.) I could just make it a maneuver-based class, but I don't want to involve that and make it too complex in order to balance it out with the rest of the abilities. I can translate them into class abilities though.

PairO'Dice Lost
2011-03-29, 08:42 PM
Hm. Perhaps its because I haven't played a 1-20 campaign in a few years, but I guess I just failed to grasp what levels would be appropriate for these abilities. A Monk, though? Harsh. Actually, I put this together in order to make monsters viable in unarmed combat without, you know, unarmed combat.

Like I said, I've been looking at Monk. It uses natural armor progression equal to one point higher than the Monk. I feared making it MAD, so I allowed it light armor proficiency in lieu of (Wis Bonus) to AC. On the other hand, I feared it wouldn't be do to have just the Monk's base bonus, so I buffed it a bit. The claw damage for a medium Eviscerator is equivalent to a Large Monk, I figured that would streamline their attacks but still give them something for "losing" their claws.

Generally, the class abilities can be broken down into three aspects:

1) High base damage, which is comparable to a base monk's; as you noted, it's equivalent to a Large monk's damage (and every monk is going to want to be enlarged by mid levels), though you note that a creature without natural claws gets the basic monk's damage. The basic monk, however, already can't keep up in the damage department, and the eviscerator doesn't have any special tools for boosting damage (rage, favored enemy, smite, bonus feats, etc.) that a monk can't also get, except Rend which, again, comes too late in the progression to matter. By comparison, a totemist can get rend at level 9 by binding Girallon Arms, and that comes with four claws (admittedly less-damaging ones), not two. Moving Rend earlier would help quite a bit, as would giving it some sort of size enhancement.

2) Natural armor, which is mostly comparable to the monk's base AC bonus. However, natural armor + physical armor is weaker than untyped + stat bonus because the Wis to AC (A) doesn't come with max Dex or ACP and (B) is untyped and therefore stacks with other sources of AC that most PCs get at mid-to-high levels. A swordsage with an amulet of natural armor can have a natural armor bonus, an armor bonus, and Wis to AC, and they're not defensive powerhouses by any means. Increasing the natural armor by a bunch or letting it add Str or Con to AC would work well.

3) Ability damage/SoD, which is inferior to maneuvers that do the same thing. Lacerate is 4th level, 1/day, and deals 1d4 Con. Drain Vitality is available starting at 3rd level, 1/encounter or more, and deals 2 Con; Strength Draining Strike is available at 5th level, 1/encounter or more, and deals 4 Str. Tear Asunder is available at 20th level and forces a Fort save vs. 20+Str to avoid death; Feral Death Blow, the 9th level Tiger Claw maneuver, is available at 17th, attacks flat-footed AC, and forces a Fort save vs. 19+Str to avoid death and still deals +20d6 on a successful save. Then there's the various rend/maul/etc. extra damage mechanisms, which maneuvers and soulmelds hand out like candy. Don't be afraid to hand out damage; it's what melee characters do.

Hope that helps.

jiriku
2011-03-29, 11:09 PM
P'oDL has covered what's written quite well. I'll cover what's not. Simple question:

What does an eviscerator do when tearing something apart with his claws isn't a useful way to contribute?

It looks like he mostly stands around and sheds on the carpet. He has no tools for social intrigue, deception, disguise, stealth, persuasion, information-gathering, remote scouting, fast travel, buffing allies, debuffing enemies, healing, dispelling debuffs, resurrecting, making ranged attacks, denying terrain, recruiting minions, avoiding special attacks, escaping from certain death, moving in exotic environments, bypassing barriers, creating useful items....

You want to greatly expand your vision for what the class is expected to do, and provide dramatic, far-reaching abilities that go well beyond the scope of "I slash him with my claws."

VonDoom
2011-03-30, 04:14 AM
Looks interesting, if it's a bit polished up, as suggested by previous posters. I have a different thing to point out, though:

The Pounce ability. It notes that you get two claw attacks rather than one. However, this isn't reflected in the attack bonus list at all. Wouldn't it be better to just note that they're getting a full attack after a charge? That'd make them a bit more effective at what they're doing, too.

Also, I'd recommend just giving people who don't naturally have claws ... claws, rather than giving them a weaker version.

Alternatively the option to use weapon claws ŕ la Street Fighter's Vega/Balrog might be something to leave open, they could work with everything else but do their regular damage rather than the claw one, akin to Monk Weapons, though that may leave them a bit weaker, too, if people don't have magic properties out the wazoo ...

Ursus the Grim
2011-03-30, 02:46 PM
I've read everyone's posts within about an hour of when each was posted, and again, thanks a ton for the feedback, everyone. I have an individual response to each critique typed up, but currently being edited on another computer, so it will be an hour or two before I give each one the attention it deserves.

Edit: Okay, here's what I was thinking.


Generally, the class abilities can be broken down into three aspects:

1) High base damage, which is comparable to a base monk's; as you noted, it's equivalent to a Large monk's damage (and every monk is going to want to be enlarged by mid levels), though you note that a creature without natural claws gets the basic monk's damage. The basic monk, however, already can't keep up in the damage department, and the eviscerator doesn't have any special tools for boosting damage (rage, favored enemy, smite, bonus feats, etc.) that a monk can't also get, except Rend which, again, comes too late in the progression to matter. By comparison, a totemist can get rend at level 9 by binding Girallon Arms, and that comes with four claws (admittedly less-damaging ones), not two. Moving Rend earlier would help quite a bit, as would giving it some sort of size enhancement.

I wanted this to hold a bit more for the clawed races who take it. Otherwise it still feels like they'd be giving something up. Thats the initial issue with, for instance, Lizardfolk Monks. Sure, they get unarmed attacks AND natural attacks, but they have to split up their attention in order for both to be at all useful. I am trying to consolidate claws and fists into two devastating attacks. If I make clawed race = nonclawed race in this department, I would view it as the clawed race not gaining anything, as they could have just been a human and gotten the same damage.

Rend was originally level 6. In order to use it, the Eviscerator would have hit with both claws. Assuming a medium clawed creature, it would deal a total of 8d6 + (3.5 x strength bonus). Not accounting for factors like damage reduction or spell resistance, thats more than an eighth-level fireball spell. That he could do every turn, thanks to Pounce. If he was clever enough to pick up INA, he'd be dealing out 12d6 plus the strength boosts instead. I looked at the equivalent maneuver and compared damage to relative level to put it at 16. Rend from a 16th level Eviscerator clocks in at 12d8, putting it between 4 and 5 succesful attacks using Flesh Rip. The Soulmeld is not a close comparison, as those claws do all of d4 damage from a slightly squishy damage. If I'm calculating it right, the max it can deal is 8d4 before buffs and strength. An eight level Evis would do that with two claw hits before Rend.

I'm not trying to argue with you, I just don't know where to put it to balance it. Should I, perhaps, weaken the damage multiplier (1xclaw damage instead of 2xclaw damage as usual?) and let it progress naturally as claw damage improves?

2) Natural armor, which is mostly comparable to the monk's base AC bonus. However, natural armor + physical armor is weaker than untyped + stat bonus because the Wis to AC (A) doesn't come with max Dex or ACP and (B) is untyped and therefore stacks with other sources of AC that most PCs get at mid-to-high levels. A swordsage with an amulet of natural armor can have a natural armor bonus, an armor bonus, and Wis to AC, and they're not defensive powerhouses by any means. Increasing the natural armor by a bunch or letting it add Str or Con to AC would work well.

Fair enough. I hadn't considered other buffs and stacking. I may implement a Con bonus to the natural armor, a la Fist of the Forest.



3) Ability damage/SoD, which is inferior to maneuvers that do the same thing. Lacerate is 4th level, 1/day, and deals 1d4 Con. Drain Vitality is available starting at 3rd level, 1/encounter or more, and deals 2 Con; Strength Draining Strike is available at 5th level, 1/encounter or more, and deals 4 Str. Tear Asunder is available at 20th level and forces a Fort save vs. 20+Str to avoid death; Feral Death Blow, the 9th level Tiger Claw maneuver, is available at 17th, attacks flat-footed AC, and forces a Fort save vs. 19+Str to avoid death and still deals +20d6 on a successful save. Then there's the various rend/maul/etc. extra damage mechanisms, which maneuvers and soulmelds hand out like candy. Don't be afraid to hand out damage; it's what melee characters do.

Alright, the obvious solution for me here is to push the ability damage earlier. I'll have to reskin it somehow, so it fits the flavor a bit better. I'll probably give it 3/day base usage, as I tend to shy away from the x/encounter abilities. I fear they might stumble in usage in encounters that are higher than the "4 then rest" guidelines in the DMG.


P'oDL has covered what's written quite well. I'll cover what's not. Simple question:

What does an eviscerator do when tearing something apart with his claws isn't a useful way to contribute?

It looks like he mostly stands around and sheds on the carpet. He has no tools for social intrigue, deception, disguise, stealth, persuasion, information-gathering, remote scouting, fast travel, buffing allies, debuffing enemies, healing, dispelling debuffs, resurrecting, making ranged attacks, denying terrain, recruiting minions, avoiding special attacks, escaping from certain death, moving in exotic environments, bypassing barriers, creating useful items....

You want to greatly expand your vision for what the class is expected to do, and provide dramatic, far-reaching abilities that go well beyond the scope of "I slash him with my claws."

I don't really know how to fluff this one up without making it uncomfortable and limiting for certain races. Turning it stealthy makes it ugly for Trolls, turning it completely shock trooper gives Kobolds the good old punt. Nothing comes to mind immediately. I've been toying with the idea of having certain anti-magic effects, the ability to heal oneself, and some sort of terrain management. I've got some of the proposed abilities listed above.


Looks interesting, if it's a bit polished up, as suggested by previous posters. I have a different thing to point out, though:

The Pounce ability. It notes that you get two claw attacks rather than one. However, this isn't reflected in the attack bonus list at all. Wouldn't it be better to just note that they're getting a full attack after a charge? That'd make them a bit more effective at what they're doing, too.

Also, I'd recommend just giving people who don't naturally have claws ... claws, rather than giving them a weaker version.

Alternatively the option to use weapon claws ŕ la Street Fighter's Vega/Balrog might be something to leave open, they could work with everything else but do their regular damage rather than the claw one, akin to Monk Weapons, though that may leave them a bit weaker, too, if people don't have magic properties out the wazoo ...

Ah, well. The ugly thing about most natural weapons is that you only get one shot with each. Hence my liberal use of the damage progression. Letting them attack with the claws as BaB opens up a can of worms that walk. For instance. . . .

Which claws make which attacks?
Can I attack with one claw repeatedly?
What if I attack with a weapon in one hand?
What if I attack while holding a shield?
What if I have two-weapon fighting?
Do I deal more damage with Rend?


Overall, I'm considering a few major changes in particular.
Bump most of the abilities up in the progression.
Torn Asunder at 16th level, opponent is not flat-footed but the rest of the effect is fairly similar.

New Capstone
Apex of Brutality (Ex):
The Eviscerator holds much more power than his size would otherwise indicate. For most beneficial purposes, treat the Eviscerator's size as one step larger. This gives them a permanent bonus of +8 to Strength, +4 to Constitution, and +3 to Natural Armor. They may use weapons intended for a creature one size larger without penalty. They may still use weapons and armor intended for their natural size. They also deal unarmed and natural attack damage as if they were one size category larger, and gain the relevant bonuses to grapple, bull rush, and similar checks.

Level 8
Frightful Presence (Ex):
Whenever an Eviscerator charges or reduces an enemy to 0 or fewer hit points, all enemies within 30 feet of him must make a will save equal to 10 + half the Eviscerator's class level + the Eviscerator's charisma modifier. If a creature is slain to trigger this ability, the DC is instead equal to 10 + the fallen's hit die + the Eviscerator's charisma modifier. The Eviscerator may choose to make an Intimidate check in lieu of the static DC, but must use the result of his check, even if it is lower. If any creature fails their save, they are considered panicked for 5d6 rounds. A creature can be subject to this effect more than once, as the triggering action is rarely the same.

Level 10
Blood Runs Cold (Ex):
With a bestial howl, the Eviscerator rends all creatures in a 30 foot cone paralyzed. A creature is allowed a Will Save of 10 + half class level + charisma modifier to resist. Each turn after the first, they are allowed a new saving throw to end the effect. If all saving throws are failed, the creature is automatically released 1d4 minutes after the Eviscerator is no longer in sight.

Level 2
Inexorable Approach(Ex):
Starting at 2nd level, an Eviscerator may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed and without taking damage or suffering any other impairment. However, thorns, briars, and overgrown areas that have been magically manipulated to impede motion still affect her.

Level 5
Rend the Unreal (Su):
At 5th level, an Eviscerator learns to channel his might to shatter even untouchable arcane energies. This ability replicates Dispel Magic, except the Eviscerator's caster level is equal to his Eviscerator level -4 and there are no components required for the effect to take place. The Eviscerator may use this ability a number of times per day equal to his Charisma bonus. (Minimum once.)

jiriku
2011-03-30, 06:36 PM
The new proposed abilities looks good, although you'll want to fluff Rend the Unreal a little more to explain exactly what the character is doing that dispels magic.

I'd recommend that Inexorable Approach should defeat magically impeding undergrowth. Yah, I know you're copying the ranger/druid ability, but really, magical trumps mundane so often that mundane really needs to be able to give magic a good kick in the junk now and then. And when you charge some druid who was hiding behind his entangle or wall of thorns, the look of surprise on his face will be priceless.

Ursus the Grim
2011-03-30, 07:16 PM
Yah, I know you're copying the ranger/druid ability

Blast, you caught me.

I was intending to give him the ability to ignore magical blockages, but that kind of evolved into Rend the Unreal.

jiriku
2011-03-30, 07:22 PM
I was intending to give him the ability to ignore magical blockages, but that kind of evolved into Rend the Unreal.

You could probably just use a potion of Ex-Lax for that.

Ursus the Grim
2011-03-30, 07:37 PM
You could probably just use a potion of Ex-Lax for that.

Yep, sig worthy. On topic, I have some more things I was looking at. In particular, I was considering some variant of an auto-Reincarnate, savage humanoids only. It would help cement the Eviscerator as a juggernaut of superstrong mauling.

Ziegander
2011-03-30, 11:14 PM
Yep, sig worthy. On topic, I have some more things I was looking at. In particular, I was considering some variant of an auto-Reincarnate, savage humanoids only. It would help cement the Eviscerator as a juggernaut of superstrong mauling.

This would be amazing. Something like... once per week, if you're dead, you get auto-Reincarnated as a monstrous humanoid. Y'know, with more rules attached to that, this could be a VERY cool class feature.

Sypher667
2011-03-31, 12:19 AM
With Lacerate, perhaps have the duration of the Con damage be more related to the Eviscerator's Con or Str mod? What you have now seems kind of...messy.

To address the ranged aspect of things, what about an ability that lets him cut through the air and make a blade of wind, or something like that, allowing him to attack with his unarmed strike at range.

As to the natural armor, you could just include a stacking clause, allowing it to stack with other forms of natural armor.

For burst healing, maybe a life-steal mechanic, where he heals a portion of his damage?

Just some ideas for you to work with.

Ursus the Grim
2011-04-09, 04:25 PM
Edit: Okay, new homebrew up. Old Homebrew is in the spoiler at the bottom of the post. Any comments on it should be sent via pm to keep this on topic.

Final Post Regarding Eviscerator

With Lacerate, perhaps have the duration of the Con damage be more related to the Eviscerator's Con or Str mod? What you have now seems kind of...messy.

To address the ranged aspect of things, what about an ability that lets him cut through the air and make a blade of wind, or something like that, allowing him to attack with his unarmed strike at range.

As to the natural armor, you could just include a stacking clause, allowing it to stack with other forms of natural armor.

For burst healing, maybe a life-steal mechanic, where he heals a portion of his damage?

Just some ideas for you to work with.

Okay. Sorry for the delayed response, and as always, thanks for the feedback.

I agree the variable duration is kind of messy and allows for way to much variation in damage. I'll probably shift it to something like 4 + dex mod turns. Its a precise strike, after all.

I'm wary of ranged natural attacks. It seems like something I'd have trouble flavoring. Nearly every incarnation I've seen reminds me of the Sankontessou from Inuyasha infamy. Perhaps a force-related ability, like a watered-down eldritch blast?

Natural armor, as it stands now, is stacking with most other natural armor. I should clarify that better.

I could incorporate a blood-drain mechanic, giving an Eviscerator more incentive to grapple instead of just rending all the time. That would remind most people of a vampire, but I could probably reskin it pretty well.

Sorry for delays in response, but my computer is once again wounded.

Ursus the Grim
2011-04-26, 12:27 PM
Okay, I have another homebrew that I'd like critique on, but I haven't heard anything about the current one. If anyone has anything to say about the currently posted homebrew, please let me know your thoughts. Otherwise I will post the new class after a few days.

Also, I'm still accepting critique on the Eviscerator, if you'd like to eviscerate it. . . again.