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Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-09, 11:45 AM
As a writing exercise, I wrote a scientifically accurate short story abut bees. Please tell me what you think.


the siege: a tale of bees
A scientifically accurate story in which a beehive struggles to survive in the face of tremendous adversity


Bees are not individual beings, but are all essential pieces of a more complicated life-form. No bee is complete on its own, but is instead a working part of sentient mind. A beehive is a mind, a body, and a soul. It holds complex memories within it's honeycombs, with each bee acting as a synapse and each hexagonal container acting as a brain cell. Thoughts, ideas, and even opinions pass through this bizarre but miraculously working mind; so when a bee dies, the whole hive is shaken.


* * * * *

The hive sensed a presence. This presence this being was not a collective mind like the hive, but its own individual creature with individual desires and motivations. It wasn't a nice presence either. It had a mind full of aggression and madness and petty spite. It was a creature that would hurt other creatures because it felt like it, or because they had gotten too close. The hive could put a name to a presence like that, and it was wasp.
Wasp is an ugly word. A word full of hatred and subtle malice. A word that exactly suits the creature it represents. The wasp landed on the hive and briefly recoiled; she had smelled honey. She hated the smell of honey which to her was vile and sickly sweet. She was used to the smell of gore and rotting mammal which were her primary food sources (not that she was above resorting to cannibalism). Greedy, aggressive, and mad with blood lust; the creature scanned the outer aria of the hive, searching for a weak spot to dig into. She encountered a few of the guarding solder bees, but they were dispatched with minimal effort.
The whole hive was reeling in panic. Their solders could probably take on a single wasp, but it would be no easy task and the hive would be badly damaged before it was accomplished. Unless they could figure out a way to drive off the imposter quickly, it would take several generations for the hive to fully recover. A waft of scented vapour from the all-knowing queen alerted the solder bees to attack the wasp and the others to brace themselves and hide.
The wasp eventually found a thin patch in the flaky outer wax that sealed the hive from the elements. She began to dig and soon she had made a hole big enough to slip through. Wasps although not bigger than most bees are quite strong for their size and are built to kill. Another advantage that they happen to enjoy is that unlike bees, they can sting multiple times. The effects of their stings aren't quite as adverse, but are still more than enough to bring down any bee.
The wasp found itself surrounded by the slow but powerful guard bees that patrol the inside of the hive. She killed all of them with ease, but they had kept her busy long enough for a large group of solders to flood into the room and crawl into the hole she had made in the ceiling. Once they were upon her she immediately began to tear them apart, but eventually fatigue settled in and she was overtaken. The shaken hive, now relieved, began the slow task of recovery.


* * * * *

The hive of a wasp, unlike that of a bee, is not a mind but simply a habitat. There will be several wasps inside (including a bloated and ruthless queen), but each wasp is its own creature and the death of any wasp save the queen is of no great importance to the hive. In late autumn, the wasp queen will take a few of her most trusted guards and seal the rest of her subjects out of the hive to freeze and starve, and will then repopulate in the spring. A wisp of death-stench wafted through the nearby wasp hive. Whenever a wasp dies, all the wasps within a surprising radius quickly gather with the hope of gorging on the fallen wasp or each other.
The bee hive was worried. Somehow it had half-known that it was about to be under hopeless siege by a swarm of sadistic monsters. Perhaps it was instinct, perhaps it was obscure memories imbedded deep in the deepest structure of the hive, or perhaps the hive-mind had very limited extra-sensory perception. Whatever it was, it knew it was doomed; but it wouldn't go down without one hell of a fight.
The queen instructed all the remaining solder bees to keep constant guard on the exterior of the hive and all the workers to barricade themselves in the sealed chambers where the larva was kept. The hive briefly considered fleeing, but the structure was its body and soul and sacrificing the larva was unthinkable.
The wasps came one-by-one like droning harbingers of carnage and death. The first few circled slowly and casually, stinging solders that attempted to attack them with relish and watching them fall like limp stones into the river below. Soon when they began to show up in greater numbers they gave up attacking slowly and barrelled into the hive like like horrible spinning blades, tearing apart solder bees like a child mindlessly rips paper into grimy little shreds. Occasionally at least half a dozen of the disoriented solders would regroup and attack a wasp at once, killing it; but soon this tactic became almost impossible when most of the solders had been slain.
Knowing that they had nearly won, the wasps began to dig into cracks in the have to get at the delicious larva and the queen. One of them was immediately attacked by more than a dozen desperate workers, but they were torn asunder like gore-drenched confetti.
The queen frantically ordered the surviving solders and workers to regroup for one last stand. They gathered in the main larva chamber where the queen was kept and watched the walls vigilantly, their wings quivering and their entente moving in methodical patterns. When the first wasp burst through the wall a swarm of bees attacked it at once and killed it, but they had left the way open at the other side of the room where two more wasps appeared and rushed the queen. A worker bee threw itself in front of one of them, taking the sting and dieing with a buzzing hiss, but the other wasp impaled the queen right through her bloated abdomen. The queen let out a buzzing scream as the wasp removed its stinger and stung her again. It was too late to save her, since the poison had already crippled her beyond recovery. Soon the rest of the wasps were in the chamber and had killed all but a few, but one terrified worker had slipped through one of the tunnels and out of the hive just as the wasps began to devour the larva. The worker flew to where the hive was attached to the tree branch and chewed until it fell into the river below. Taking the wasps, the larva, and the dying queen with it.

Starbuck_II
2011-04-09, 11:52 AM
A very good horror story based on reality.
I felt for the bees when they came.

Sacrieur
2011-04-09, 12:55 PM
Poor bees D=

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-09, 01:27 PM
A very good horror story based on reality.
I felt for the bees when they came.


Poor bees D=

Why thank you. I got the idea when I saw a YouTube video of some kind of giant African wasp taking on a whole bee hive, tearing each bee apart or stinging them on the head.

raisethearmy
2011-04-09, 01:46 PM
I think it was a Japanese Wasp.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-09, 01:48 PM
I think it was a Japanese Wasp.

I'll take your word for it.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-09, 07:46 PM
100 views and only five comments!?

Lemonus
2011-04-09, 07:52 PM
Very good, you're great at writing! Could you maybe make more?

Ranger Mattos
2011-04-09, 08:09 PM
Very cool. Although, I think you mean "soldiers", not "solders".

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-09, 08:33 PM
Very cool. Although, I think you mean "soldiers", not "solders".
Yes.


Very good, you're great at writing! Could you maybe make more?
I'm writing a story about a benevolent demon who works as a bodyguard. It will go on these forums once I am done.

Lemonus
2011-04-09, 08:44 PM
I'm writing a story about a benevolent demon who works as a bodyguard. It will go on these forums once I am done.

Awesome. :biggrin:

Ajadea
2011-04-09, 10:58 PM
Awesome, but couple spelling nitpicks:

Paragraph 1: You say aria. I think you mean area.

Last line: The word is dying, not dieing.

zephyrkinetic
2011-04-09, 11:04 PM
As Ajadea pointed out, you have some spelling errors.

Looking past those, however, this is damn compelling. I'd point out, though, that the ending may be more horrific without the worker escaping and chewing through the hive's attachment, if instead the hive were destroyed to the last man bee.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-10, 10:49 AM
Looking past those, however, this is damn compelling. I'd point out, though, that the ending may be more horrific without the worker escaping and chewing through the hive's attachment, if instead the hive were destroyed to the last man bee.

Perhaps you're right. I initially thought that a few small victories over the wasps could give the gritty hopelessness contrast and make it all the more horrific.

Flame of Anor
2011-04-10, 12:58 PM
I like the ending as it is.

Also, I'm pretty sure bees can sting multiple times against other bugs--it's only in humans that it breaks off.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-10, 01:01 PM
I like the ending as it is.

Also, I'm pretty sure bees can sting multiple times against other bugs--it's only in humans that it breaks off.

I thought that the point of a bee sting is that the singer breaks off and keeps pumping poison once the bee has flown away. That way, a single bee can sacrifice themselves to take down something as big as a bird or tarantula for the good of the hive.

Astrella
2011-04-10, 01:05 PM
I thought that the point of a bee sting is that the singer breaks off and keeps pumping poison once the bee has flown away. That way, a single bee can sacrifice themselves to take down something as big as a bird or tarantula for the good of the hive.

This also releases pheromones that attract more bees.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-10, 01:32 PM
This also releases pheromones that attract more bees.

As stated in my story, wasps have something similar. When their exoskeleton is breached, they release a pheromone that causes all wasps in a large radius to come swarming and feast on the fallen wasp.
Because of this, I get out of the vicinity as fast as I can whenever I kill a wasp.

Flame of Anor
2011-04-10, 09:57 PM
I thought that the point of a bee sting is that the singer breaks off and keeps pumping poison once the bee has flown away. That way, a single bee can sacrifice themselves to take down something as big as a bird or tarantula for the good of the hive.

I'm afraid not. Here's a quote from Wikipedia:


Although it is widely believed that a worker honey bee can sting only once, this is a partial misconception: although the stinger is in fact barbed so that it lodges in the victim's skin, tearing loose from the bee's abdomen and leading to its death in minutes, this only happens if the skin of the victim is sufficiently thick, such as a mammal's.

Moff Chumley
2011-04-10, 10:34 PM
Well, Bats approves.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_otnpTYg-M04/SO9qKYRdmcI/AAAAAAAAAOM/Em72916uV94/s320/beeweapon.jpg

Sacrieur
2011-04-10, 11:08 PM
As stated in my story, wasps have something similar. When their exoskeleton is breached, they release a pheromone that causes all wasps in a large radius to come swarming and feast on the fallen wasp.
Because of this, I get out of the vicinity as fast as I can whenever I kill a wasp.

I despise wasps. I shall tolerate bees, for the fact that they're just looking for flowers, but wasps I will not tolerate, they're just mean || >:(

I kill them with my bare hands, no joke. You just reach out and crush them. Then the little buggers keep coming. I've killed entire nests of them this way. Yeah, mess with me when I'm grumpy will you?

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-11, 09:29 AM
I despise wasps. I shall tolerate bees, for the fact that they're just looking for flowers, but wasps I will not tolerate, they're just mean || >:(

I kill them with my bare hands, no joke. You just reach out and crush them. Then the little buggers keep coming. I've killed entire nests of them this way. Yeah, mess with me when I'm grumpy will you?

I don't have the courage to do that. If I see one, I will kill it and then run so I'm not there when more come.

Sacrieur
2011-04-11, 11:50 AM
I don't have the courage to do that. If I see one, I will kill it and then run so I'm not there when more come.

If you're allergic then there's a reason to be frightened, but to those of us not allergic? It's pretty much just an, "ewww, that's gross" factor to muscle your way past.

Helanna
2011-04-11, 11:58 AM
You know, I managed to somehow miss the 'horror' part of the title. I didn't really pick up on it until about halfway through. It was a really good story though!

I've always really hated bees, and I don't know why. Just something about those fat, fuzzy little bodies that seem so horribly unnatural. Usually, I just avoid them. I don't bother them, they don't bother me.

And now I don't hate them anymore. All of my hatred is going to be channeled at wasps now. I knew wasps were nastier than bees but . . . :smalleek:

LOTRfan
2011-04-11, 03:47 PM
Wasps are disgusting bastards. There's actually a species that inject their offspring in the heads of prey. These offspring eat their way to the brain and then take control of the prey's motor functions. :smalleek:

Asta Kask
2011-04-11, 04:05 PM
Wasps are disgusting bastards. There's actually a species that inject their offspring in the heads of prey. These offspring eat their way to the brain and then take control of the prey's motor functions. :smalleek:

You can't tell me that's not cool.

There's a parasite that removes rats' fears of cats.

LOTRfan
2011-04-11, 04:09 PM
Yeah, its because cats are their preferred hosts. Fifty million people in the United States are also carriers.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-13, 02:30 PM
You can't tell me that's not cool.

There's a parasite that removes rats' fears of cats.

Link me to your source of information, please.

Woodsman
2011-04-13, 02:34 PM
Wasps are disgusting bastards. There's actually a species that inject their offspring in the heads of prey. These offspring eat their way to the brain and then take control of the prey's motor functions. :smalleek:

Even worse, there are flies whose larvae are hatched inside (living) human flesh. Said larvae can make their way into the brain and eat it.

Chainsaw Hobbit
2011-04-13, 02:43 PM
It seems we've finally figured out where all the inspiration of Alien come from. Wasps really are like miniature versions of monsters from really messed up horror movies.

LOTRfan
2011-04-13, 03:44 PM
Link me to your source of information, please.

The link can be found here (http://www.livescience.com/7253-bizarre-human-brain-parasite-precisely-alters-fear.html).


Even worse, there are flies whose larvae are hatched inside (living) human flesh. Said larvae can make their way into the brain and eat it.

I'd really like a link to that, though! :smalleek: