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View Full Version : Character Fluff - C&C Please



ELC
2011-04-16, 05:33 AM
http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheetview.php?sheetid=289976

Even though this specific character is an alternate for a currently running campaign, I'd like to use the fluff's concept for future characters in other campaigns. However, I'm a bit rusty when it comes to description: anything I should have edited?

ELC
2011-04-17, 08:50 AM
bumpity-bump

A few notes: I'm only concerned with the fluff, not the crunch, and C&C = comment and criticize

Nyarai
2011-04-17, 03:44 PM
What does the dragon need him for that's worth paying that kind of swag? Your guy's primary skill seems to be "bossing people around," which the dragon should have no trouble with. :smalltongue: Also, shouldn't LeVanz have tried to leave right after his family never showed up, since he wasn't getting paid for his servitude after that?

On a grammatical note, in the second sentence of the second Background & Other Info paragraph, "spurned" should be "spurred."