View Full Version : The Adventures of Dubin MacRoy

2011-04-19, 05:19 AM
A series of anecdotes/short stories hopefully to eventually get published, but right now posted for your reading pleasure/criticisms.

I'd go on to tell you a little bit about the world in which they happen, but I'd rather show than tell.

without further ado.

My name is Dubin MacRoy.
The young man sitting across from me says to "just talk, I'll worry about how it all sounds." Well, apparently I'm from a place quite a lot like where you are from if the lay of the land is what interests you, but quite different if it's history and people are taken into consideration. First and most importantly what we call magic you would call technology. The young man tells me you would think my world is 'fantastic' but I say I find yours beyond belief.
Well, he keeps urging me to tell stories instead of philosophizing, so I reckon I better start.

Chapter the First
or Flirtin' with Misogyny

When I was a youngster, barely out of my teens, the Big River country was a mite wilder than it is now. The locals were mostly the pioneering type who didn't mind fighting off an occasional raid and weren't about to join the United Empire. Good days.

Anyway, being my father's third boy I was taught his trade but there wasn't room for me in his shop. Not being of a mind to work the land I signed on with a teamster running the trace down out of the hill country to Caer Dugan where the Big Brown and the Winder meet. Ole Finger figured he'd make great time if I'd drive while he rested in the easy country.

For the most part the trip was an easy one, but I was too young to know to skip out on trouble. We found ourselves in a dinky place called Useful. Strange name for a town that. Place consisted of a Inn and a trading post, but it was the closest thing to a village anywhere nearby and that meant the farm boys would come down to that inn and cause a ruckus when ever they could. We pulled in there mid-afternoon and it just so happened that the locals were gearing up for a party. In that neck of the woods it seems that everybody was invited to every wedding and that included peddler's driving through. Ole Finger liked his cider a bit too much and no wedding in the Big Rivers ever lacked for that sweet substance so we decided to stay around for the celebration.

Sure was a fine party and them Useful girls sure looked nice to me seeing as they were girls I hadn't seen before. Not one to skip the cider myself, I got to dancing with a dark haired girl with blue eyes and a roguish grin and to keep the story simple she and I took ourselves a walk. She'd said it was a shame to waste such a fine summer night without seeing the stars and I wasn't looking to tell her no. She knew the area far better than I did of course and after leading me by the nose a bit she brought us to a little hill over looking one of the many little rivers that make the big ones and we stargazed a bit.

Now what I didn't know was that she was the groom's younger sister and that she'd been using that charming smile of hers on one of the biggest, meanest fellows in the Useful country as they called it. So when we came waltzing back to the dancing it wasn't long before her beau decided to pick a fight with me and I can't say I blame him much. Now she'd made no promises to the big fellow they called Crunch but he wasn't the type to let a little thing like the truth get in his way and he challenged me right then and there in the middle of the celebrating.

Now when I say challenged me what I mean was he walked up to me tapped on my shoulder and decked me cold. I was about half-mad with rage when I turned around and I'm pretty sure the only thing that kept us both alive that night was when Taffy got between us. I gotta hand it to that girl she may have been a manipulative little fireball but she did her best to calm us down. Luckily for me, Jhon Flemer, who ran the trading post was a quick thinker and he arranged for "Crunch" and me to fight it out in a more sanctioned way. So the next morning when Ole Finger was still sleeping off his cider, I was stripped to my waste looking across a roughly drawn circle at "Crunch." The big Useful boy was about my age and about twenty pounds thicker than me.

I suppose this would be a good time to tell you how I'm put together. I'm no small one, raised as most of those Big Rivers boys are on corn and whatever meat we could hunt. My Pa had been the village blacksmith and I was big shouldered like you would expect a blacksmith's son to be. I stand about six foot two and at that time was a lean young man but strong from pumping bellows and carrying iron all day. To this day, my unruly red-brown hair and grey-blue eyes get referred to as 'striking' and I figure I wasn't too painful to look at in my youth.

Well, being the youngest of three boys I was no stranger to a tussle and it occurred to me later that Flemer might of put Taffy up to causing a bit of strife because the old trader made off like a bandit laying odds on the fight that morning. Needless to say it was Flemer who played judge to our contest and it was him who called us forward to get started that morning.

"All right, you two louts let's see a clean one, no eye gouging, no groin shots and let it rest once one of ya's is beaten ya hear me?" The trader's voice was strident and clear and both me and the Useful boy nodded our heads like good little morons and started in on each other. Crunch was powerful but not very quick but he had the reach on me so things started off pretty even.

He'd come in at me swinging and I'd sidestep and jab at his stomach. I'd love to say that he was too slow to catch me but it was just as likely that he'd ring my bell as it was for me to get the step on him and light up his gut. I was taking way too many shots in the process and I knew that I couldn't win if I let this stay a punching fight. So after a particularly nasty shot from Crunch, I acted a bit more loopy than I really felt and caught him by surprise when I dodged the hay-maker he threw meaning to finish me and drove my shoulder into his belly.

Clinching up on him I swept my leg behind his ankle and pushed the big farm boy down, but he was quicker than I gave him credit for being and sure enough I followed him. We twisted as we fell and both had the wind knocked out of us. I recovered slightly faster and tried to get my arm around his neck, but he knew something of how to use his weight and he rolled into me and I had to let go and scramble or he would've pinned my legs. He came leaping at me from the ground but I had twisted around and met his stomach with my two feet knocking him back. Like a flash I stood up and went to pummel him but only got a couple shots in before he hooked my leg and forced me to roll away again.

By this time the crown around us was hooting and hollering most cheering on Crunch him being local and all. I was bleeding from a cut I didn't remember getting over my eye but as we both stood up and made to get back into it I caught a glimpse of Taffy watching us with a bright eyed stare that was neither sorrowful nor shy. She was enjoying this, that little minx.

I turned, a cold rage burning in my eyes, and fixed my glare on Crunch. He looked tired. All those body shots I'd been landing were doing their work and what was more now I was straight up angry. Sober angry. I shook my head and brought my fists up dipping my head a little to the right and letting that hand hang down as if I was about done in and Crunch took the bait like the country rube we both were. He came running at me throwing a big left handed roundhouse and I brought my right hand up blocking him and forcing his hand wide, at the same time up came my left across his jaw. Without waiting, I repeated the same motion switching hands, and then brought my knees up toward his chest forcing him back. I followed with a big sweeping kick at the big farmer's knee. He'd never seen anybody do something like this but there weren't no rules against it and he hit the ground hard. Cracked knees being notorious for being hard to stand on.

Now before I make myself sound all high and mighty, I'll admit to you that I wouldn't have let the poor fellow alone but as I went to leap on him Flemer stepped in along with a couple of older fellows with staves and they brought me up right short.

Flemer pronounced me the winner to a chorus of groans from the locals who had mostly bet on Crunch. I stomped off toward the Inn looking to wake up Ole Finger and get on the road, when Taffy came bouncing up to me like a spring hare, a big toothy grin on her face and made as if to embrace me.

"Dubin that was amazing the way you beat up, Terry." She said, Terry being Crunch's real name. I stopped her with a cold look and her smile faltered.

"Tell, you what," I seethed at her, "How about you find some other dumb fellow you wanna treat like a plaything and you leave me alone and I get down the road and keep exactly what happened last night between you and me." A fire lit in her eyes and I'm sure I'd have felt the rough side of her tongue if I had given her an inch to speak, but I wasn't about to let her get a word out and I kept right on telling her. "Next time Crunch makes you mad and you wanna see him pay for it. How about you do it like other girls and just tell his mamma? No need to bring in innocent out-country fellows to teach him a lesson. I sure hope his knee heals up good because otherwise he'll need to learn how to keep shop for Flemer the rest of his days. He won't be walking the same for a couple weeks. Maybe you should go see to him."

She looked at me like I was one of those Tribals from out west and let me go in a shocked silence. turned out next time I was up that way she and Crunch had made up and were fixing on getting married. He mostly recovered but that knee of his became a rather famous weather predictor in those parts. As for me well, that was the first time but it sure wasn't the last that I found trouble from chasing a pretty face, on that same trip no less.

@G. W. Pine 2011
(Which is of course, me and not really an official copyright, but you know please don't steal it.)

2011-04-19, 07:32 AM
Actually, according to my intellectual property right class, the author of any written work automatically get copyright of his work unless he says otherwise. Just saying :smallwink:

2011-04-19, 02:46 PM
Yes, I'm aware of that, but my purpose in the statement was to cover my bases in case posting my own stuff with the @ symbol qualifies as "posting copyrighted materials" because I'd rather not inadvertently break any forum rules.

So anyway, assuming you actually read it... what did you think? I crave feedback!

2011-04-20, 09:27 AM
Well, these collection of short stories as anecdote about a setting/from a character is actually one of my favourite type of stories. The first one didn't hook me that much (mainly because there isn't much story/thing to see yet and I don't enjoy detailed action scene in a novel that much), but I can see the potential.

2011-04-20, 06:01 PM
the commas in the dialouge are a little weird, they break it up in odd ways...

especially near the end. Other than that, I'm a fan!