Crossover Critique

[Lord_Meyer_IV]

I decided to start slipping in some memorable monsters from throughout the fantasy universe, and thought this would be a good place to start. If anyone wants to look this guy over, i'm open to any criticism or suggestions. I'd love to hear if anyone would use this in thier own campaigns, or any other ideas for crosover encounters!

I'm assuming everyone knows what the Whelk is, I'd be sad if you didn't.


Whelk
Medium Magical Beast

Hit Dice: 3d10+12 (27 HP)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 15 ft., Climb 15ft.
Armor Class: 19(-1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+6
Attack: Slam +5 melee (1d4+3+Poision)
Full Attack: Slam +5 melee (1d4+3+Poision)
Space/Reach: 5/5
Special Attack: Charged Shell, Electric Blast, Paralytic Slime(Poison),
Special Qualities: Electrical Absorption, Hide in Shell, Darkvision 60ft, low light vision.
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +2, Wil +1
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 8, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 10, Cha 6
Skills: listen +6
Feats: Toughness, Toughness
Environment: Subterranean
Organization: solitary or group (4-20)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 4-8 HD (Medium), 9-15 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: -


This giant, six foot tall, 700lb snail has a remarkable lavender shell. Covered with spikes, it shimmers with tiny electric sparks. The air surrounding the snail is charged with static, giving a tingly feeling to the hairs on your arms. Whelks live in deep underground caves, and tend to keep near sources of water. The area they roam is covered with a shiny coating of mucus excreted when they move. Whelks eat a variety of fungi and lichen. They are very territorial, protecting the wet areas where they may be hiding their young. Young Whelks can be trained to guard specific locations against intruders.
In battle, a Whelks preferred tactic is to strike with its Paralytic Slime, then retreat into its shell for protection; emerging one minute later, to bludgeon its paralyzed victim to death. Immature Whelks are very fragile and difficult to care for. Adult Whelk shell fragments can be sold to jewelers for 5sp per pound, a typical Whelk can yield 300lbs of shell.

Hide in Shell (Ex): As a move action, the Whelk can withdraw its head into its shell, or emerge again to attack. While the head is out, it is more vulnerable to attacks and the creature suffers a -4 to its AC. While the head is within the shell, the Whelk is effectively blind.

Charged Shell (Ex): the Whelks shell is charged with a magnificent amount of electrical energy, which is released as a defensive mechanism. Anytime a melee or ranged attack misses the whelk, it is considered to have hit the armored shell of the beast and will release some electrical charge. Additionally, any time the creature takes damage from an area spell, or while the Whelks head is inside its shell, it will also discharge its electrical attack.
Electric Blast (Su): range 20ft radius blast, centered on the Whelk. Anyone caught within the blast takes 2d4 points of electrical damage, reflex save (DC 13) for half damage. For an hour after death, the shell remains charged, and will release its blast if damaged.

Paralytic Slime (Ex): The head of the Whelk is used to make slam attacks, and a successful touch attack applies its poison. (Touch, fort DC 13, 1d4 Dex/Paralysis (1d4 minutes))

Electrical Absorption (Ex): Any electrical damage heals the Whelk instead. (A Whelk is not affected by its own blast, but is affected by other Whelks.)

[Debihuman]

Before I go any further, I like this a lot. It has abilities that fit well and make the monster more believable. However, it does have a few issues that need addressing.

In no particular order:

Somehow a trained attack snail just strikes me as funny. It would also be a difficult undertaking as the snail isn't at all bright with a 2 Intelligence. If it had even 4 Intelligence, I could see it being trained a bit easier.

Why didn't you rename as a Lightning Whelk or a name that is a little indicative of its characteristics?

Does it eat only normal fungus or does it also eat things like Shriekers and Violet Fungus? This is probably a good idea as it makes this critter more versatile.

It has a good premise but its abilities exceed its targeted CR. For a 3rd level party, it's just much too powerful. You can always add a shrieker if the encounter is too easy.

Charged Shell has no game mechanics. You say it releases some electrical charge but fail to account for what that does.

Charged Shell (Ex): The whelk's shell is charged with a magnificent amount of electrical energy which the whelk can release as a defensive mechanism. Anyone who attacks the whelk with a melee or ranged weapon and misses must make a Reflex save (DC 10) or take 1d4 points of electricity damage. A successful save negates the damage. The save is Dexterity based.

Electric Blast is really a Death Throes effect like the one a frost worm has. You make it sound like the shell releases a second blast an hour later, which is a bad idea. First, there is no guarantee the party will be anywhere near it an hour later. Second, the shell is probably destroyed in the blast. Even if the shell survives, unless it is especially valuable, I can't see the party trying to keep it. How much would it weigh? I imagine the shell would be at least 500 pounds. That's too much to carry.

Death Throes (Ex): When a whelk is killed, it releases a blast of electrical energy that deals 2d4 points of electrical damage to everyone within a 20-foot radius. Creatures that succeed on a Reflex save (DC 13) take half damage. The save is constitution based.

Paralytic Slime should be injury based not touch based.

Paralytic Slime (Ex): The head of the whelk is used to make slam attacks. A successful slam attack that causes injury results in the target taking 1d4 points of Dexterity damage and causes the target to be paralyzed for 1d4 minutes. A successful Fortitude save (DC 13) negates the injury but not the paralysis. The save is constitution based.

Instead of Electrical Absorption, which is far too powerful for the CR intended, it should have Electrical Resistance 3. It has enough hit points to last through a typical encounter and giving it magical healing will just prolong the encounter and use up too much of the party's resources. Creatures that just won't die after being hit repeatedly get to be boring a lot faster than you think.

Rather than Listen, it should have Spot. It has Darkvision and Low-light vision, so making it a visual predator makes a little more sense.

Otherwise, it looks good.

Debby

[Lord_Meyer_IV]

Thanks for the thoughts:smallsmile:, and to note your points;

You're right with the training, I was going to give it an Int of 1 (it is just a snail) but an Int of 2 lets it remember friendly people who feed it and do it no harm, letting "allies" to traverse its lair freely, but still able and willing to attack interloping adventurers. So technically "training" is not what I meant, and I should clarify that.

The name is straight from the source of inspiration. (the first boss in Final Fantasy VI)

I don't think eating Shrikers is a good idea, the sound may alert other predators, and I don’t think a Whelk Could take a Hook Horror or Basilisk:smallbiggrin:

The CR was a wild guess, I figure it need a bit o' play testing. maybe I'll try it at CR 4?

On a second proofreading, Charged Shell and Electric Blast are poorly written.
The idea is that they were supposed to work together (hitting the shell releases a Charged Blast). This is mostly to force the players to deal with the creature carefully, as many attacks would result in a blast. Striking the head, or hitting it from a distance (difficult in underground environments) would be an easy way to overcome the otherwise overpowered Electric Blast ability. This is also how the Whelk works in the video game and I want to keep as much of that flavour as possible.
"For an hour after death, the shell remains charged, and will release its blast if damaged." does seem kind of pointless, and will be removed.


"Adult Whelk shell fragments can be sold to jewellers for 5sp per pound, a typical Whelk can yield 300lbs of shell."
That’s 150gp for carrying around 300 pounds of shell. I figure the shell would be pretty cool, and would make a nice necklace, but only if someone was willing to drag out so much weight (I have a player who will take ANYTHING with a value)

I really like your modification to the poison, that seems to work better by far.

You're right with the electrical absorption, but I think Immunity would be fine, as it just ensures it wont kill itself or its family.

Spot is spot-on.

Thanks again for the wonderfully constructive criticisms!

[Debihuman]

I just noticed that the slam damage was off. If a creature has only one natural attack, its damage is 1 and 1/2 times it Str bonus. damage should be: (1d4+4 plus poison). To clarify that the poison is the paralytic slime, you should probably rename it as paralytic slime in the damage as well or call it poison in all cases.

As for CR, a good rule of thumb is that a creature's HD should be equal to or generally lower than CR. Most creatures with a low HD and high CR tend to be glass cannons. Because this creature has decent defenses, it doesn't fall into that category. Giving it the Toughness feat was a really good idea and one that is frequently overlooked.

Although I didn't mention it earlier, Hide in Shell is a good feature. It adds to the creatures defenses.

Immunity to electricity works too. It's not likely that a CR 3 Party will have weapons that deal electrical damage. After an encounter with this, they may want one!


Striking the head, or hitting it from a distance (difficult in underground environments) would be an easy way to overcome the otherwise overpowered Electric Blast ability. This is also how the Whelk works in the video game and I want to keep as much of that flavour as possible.

The problem with converting monsters from a video game into 3.5 is that the 3.5 rules have to take precedence over what the video game does. If you are too wedded to the latter, you may be creating additional problems.

In this case, there are no called shots to the head. Either the PC hits the creature or the PC doesn't. If hitting the creature then creates this electric blast causing the PC to take 2d4 points of damage (even assuming they always save for half damage), it is too powerful for the PCs.

Hence, I simply changed it to a one-time effect coming at the end of the combat when the PCs are likely to be low on hit points. 2d4 points of damage is a lot of damage for a 3rd level party. You might even want to decrease it to 1d6 points of damage.

Debby