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Kellus
2011-08-02, 04:32 PM
Don't Vote Up a Monster

http://jameswagner.com/mt_archives/democracy-messy.JPG

These days it's pretty easy to get delusions of grandeur and feelings of empowerment. You might think you're "making a difference" with your votes in the many, many (MANY) vote up a thingy threads. Well, I'm here to cure those problems. Welcome to Don't Vote Up a Monster, where your votes count for absolutely NOTHING.

Some people might remember the last Don't Vote Up a Monster (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98026), which had this little problem where the monster never actually appeared. I can only assume this is because you were all too excited about actually seeing it, and the author (me) decided to punish you for it. You don't get what you want on this thread, I tell you what you're going to get. That being said, I promise a somwhat faster turnaround time than 2 3/4 years this time. This monster may or may not happen to appear on the forum in the next day or so. Really no way to tell.

The monster's finished (more of a race, really) and is viewable here (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11672533#post11672533)!

Type Loser: Dragon


{table=head]Type|Votes
Aberration|-3
Animal|–
Construct|-2
Dragon|-3
Elemental|-1
Fey|-2
Giant|-1
Humanoid|-1
Magical Beast|–
Monstrous Humanoid|–
Ooze|-3
Outsider|-1
Plant|0
Undead|-1
Vermin|-1[/table]

Subtype Losers: Angel, Augmented Ooze, Swarm
Lightning Round Deathmatch Showdown Wildcard Subtype Winner: Force


{table=head]Subtype|Votes
Abomination|-1
Air|–
ANGEL|-8
Aquatic|–
Archon|-1
Augmented Dragon|-3
AUGMENTED OOZE|-6
Chaotic|-1
Cold|–
Cookie|-1
Earth|-2
Evil|-2
Extraplanar|–
Fire|–
Force|-3
Goblinoid|-3
Good|–
Incorporeal|-3
Lawful|-1
Native|–
Reptilian|-1
Shapechanger|-2
SWARM|-8
Void|-1
Water|–[/table]

Alignment Loser: Funky Green


{table=head]Alignment Aspect|Votes
Black|-4
Blue|-6
Chaotic|-3
Colourless|-1
Evil|-2
Funky|-8
Green|-7
Good|-5
Lawful|-2
Neutral (C-N)|–
Chaotic (F-S)|–
Neutral (G-E)|1
Red|-4
Square|-2
True Neutral|-3
White|-1[/table]

Size Loser: Diminutive


{table=head]Size|Votes
Fine|-2
Diminutive|-5
Tiny|0
Small|0
Medium|0
Large|-1
Huge|0
Gargantuan|0
Colossal|0
Colossal+|0
Colossal++|0
True Dragon|-5
Collosal Humanoid with the Augmented Subtuype|-1[/table]

CR Loser: PC Race (LA +0)


{table=head]CR Bracket|Votes
PC Race (LA +0)|-6
True Dragon|-5
1-5|0
6-10|-1
11-15|0
16-20|0
Epic Monstrosity|-4[/table]

Ability Losers: Alternate Form, Hive Mind, Split
Final Jeopardy Lightning Round Deathmatch Elimination Chamber Showdown Vote Wildcard Special Ability Winner: Feed


{table=head]Special Ability|Vote
Ability Damage|0
Ability Drain|0
ALTERNATE FORM|-8
Antimagic|-2
Blindsight/Blindsense|-3
Breath Weapon|-2
Change Shape|0
Charm/Compulsion|0
Cold Immunity|0
Constrict|-2
Crippling Disabilities|0
Damage Reduction|0
Darkvision|0
Death Attacks|0
Disease|0
Energy Drain/Negative Levels|0
Etherealness|0
Evasion/Improved Evasion|0
Fast Healing|-2
Fear Aura (Su)|0
Fear Cones (Sp)/Rays (Su)|0
Feed|-2
Frightful Presence (Ex)|-1
Fire Immunity|0
Frogs |-2
Gaseous Form|0
Gaze Attacks|0
HIVE MIND|-6
Improved Grab|0
Invisibility|0
Level Loss|-1
Low-Light Vision|0
Manufactured Weapons|0
Movement Mode (Fly)|-1
Movement Mode (Burrow)|-1
Movement Modes (Climb/Swim)|0
Natural Weapons (Bite/Claw/Gore/etc)|0
Nonabilities|0
Paralysis|0
Poison|0
Polymorph|0
Pounce|0
Powerful Charge|0
Psionics|-2
Rake|0
Rays|0
Regeneration|-2
Resistance To Energy|0
Scent|0
Shadowcasting|-3
Sonic Attacks|0
Spell Immunity|0
Spell Resistance|0
Spells/SLAs|0
SPLIT|-4
Summon|0
Swallow Whole|0
Telepathy|0
Trample|0
Tremorsense|0
Truenaming|-1
Turn Resistance|0
Vulnerability to Energy|0[/table]

Rogue Shadows
2011-08-02, 04:34 PM
...I don't understand what is going on...

Kellus
2011-08-02, 04:35 PM
...I don't understand what is going on...

You vote. I ignore the votes. Repeat.

Rogue Shadows
2011-08-02, 04:37 PM
You vote. I ignore the votes. Repeat.

...then why are we voting?

Shadow Lord
2011-08-02, 04:39 PM
I vote for Aberration Type, Cake Subtype. What? We can't vote for subtype yet? Well I don't care! :smalltongue:

Kellus
2011-08-02, 04:51 PM
I vote for Aberration Type, Cake Subtype. What? We can't vote for subtype yet? Well I don't care! :smalltongue:

While I approve of the rebellious attitude towards the rules (not that it counts for anything in this case) telling me you want an Aberration is really just going to encourage me not to make one. Thanks for the input, even if it's a terrible idea which I'll never make.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-02, 04:56 PM
God, I absolutely hate that you refuse to ever consider the idea of making an Aberration (Cake). You should be ashamed of yourself!

Neon Knight
2011-08-02, 05:07 PM
I would not be able to sleep at night if another Giant was added to the game. It is simply infuriating to think that another over-sized oaf might be added to the homebrew in existence. Therefore, I don't vote for it.


...then why are we voting?

Ever see that Monty Python sketch about that guy who always contradicts whoever he is talking to? Well, there is absolutely nothing at all like that going on here, no sir. No contradictions to be found here whatsoever. We are absolutely not saying the opposite of what we mean or saying things to the opposite of our intentions at all. This is a completely serious venture with no jest or joviality to be found.

And now for something completely different: An ASCII man throwing a table.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Siosilvar
2011-08-02, 05:12 PM
I would not be able to sleep at night if another Giant was added to the game. It is simply infuriating to think that another over-sized oaf might be added to the homebrew in existence. Therefore, I don't vote for it.

Indeed, a well-done giant would be absolutely horrendous.

137ben
2011-08-02, 05:39 PM
I would not be able to sleep at night if another Giant was added to the game. It is simply infuriating to think that another over-sized oaf might be added to the homebrew in existence. Therefore, I don't vote for it.



Ever see that Monty Python sketch about that guy who always contradicts whoever he is talking to? Well, there is absolutely nothing at all like that going on here, no sir. No contradictions to be found here whatsoever. We are absolutely not saying the opposite of what we mean or saying things to the opposite of our intentions at all. This is a completely serious venture with no jest or joviality to be found.

And now for something completely different: An ASCII man throwing a table.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

You win the thread.

Anyways, I vote for plant, as I really would like to see one, especially since there is no other thread in which we are voting for a plant monster (DO NOT click any links in my signature!)

Domriso
2011-08-02, 05:42 PM
I must say though, a Giant with the Augmented Ooze subtype would just be plain silly. Terribly so.

Kellus
2011-08-02, 06:53 PM
Your nonvotes have been tabulated. Sounds like a bunch of you don't want a giant, in which case I may have some bad news for you.

137ben
2011-08-02, 06:58 PM
Oh, I'll just say that I would really, truly hate to see another ooze...or outsider. We have too many of both, plus oozes are pointless.

Neon Knight
2011-08-02, 07:14 PM
I must say though, a Giant with the Augmented Ooze subtype would just be plain silly. Terribly so.

"I tried to think of the most harmless thing– something that I loved from my childhood, something that would never ever possibly destroy us: Mr. Stay-Puft."

http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/5555/staypuftmarshmallowman.th.jpg

NeoSeraphi
2011-08-02, 07:25 PM
Oh geez. Another of these threads? You know Kellus, I might respect your homebrewing genius and share a laugh with you pretty much every time you suggest an idea for one of my homebrews, but this is just absurd.

Incidentally, I'd really prefer to not see any more fey around here. Especially primarily female fey who were physically attractive enough to merit adding their Charisma modifier as a deflection bonus to their AC.

Lord Vampyre
2011-08-02, 07:47 PM
I would love to see you do a giant, they are far better than dragons any day. What we really don't need is any more dragons. I mean really there are already chomatic, metallic, gem, oriental, and planar as it is. Therefore make anything you want except another dragon.

And especially don't make an undead dragon, whatever you do.


Ever see that Monty Python sketch about that guy who always contradicts whoever he is talking to? Well, there is absolutely nothing at all like that going on here, no sir. No contradictions to be found here whatsoever. We are absolutely not saying the opposite of what we mean or saying things to the opposite of our intentions at all. This is a completely serious venture with no jest or joviality to be found.

I suppose that goes along the same lines as Brer Rabbit saying, "Please, please, please, don't throw me in dat der briar patch."

Yitzi
2011-08-02, 08:40 PM
I'm reluctant to not-vote, so instead I'm letting this (http://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm) site do the not-voting for me. It says Aberration.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-02, 08:51 PM
Oh, I absolutely LOVE giants. I mean, what isn't there to love? They're like humans, but bigger!

As a side note, we most definitely have enough oozes. If I had a second vote, I would use it to sabotage that. Oozes are just boring anymore, and there's no more ground to be covered.


Incidentally, I'd really prefer to not see any more fey around here. Especially primarily female fey who were physically attractive enough to merit adding their Charisma modifier as a deflection bonus to their AC.

And a creature that's so ugly it adds its Charisma modifier as a deflection bonus to its AC instead would be just as bad.

YouLostMe
2011-08-02, 08:56 PM
I absolutely hate new aberrations. Don't make another one of those.

THEChanger
2011-08-02, 10:09 PM
While the above non-votes certainly have their merits, I have to say, there is absolutely no need whatsoever for a new Elemental. I mean, what would you even make it of? I think the various Elements have already been covered. And there's certainly no need to create any more composite elemental creatures, like the Immoth from MM2. No, there is absolutely no market for any of those. Why, I remember this one fellow who started trying to peddle an Elemental with the Earth and Air subtypes. Now, I says to him....
*starts on a month-long rant about the economic infesability of dual-subtype Elementals.*

Kellus
2011-08-02, 10:20 PM
I think what I hate most about this board is the indecisiveness. You "people" can't even make up your mind what you want made. That being said, I guess there are a fair number of you that hate the idea of an ooze. If there's anyone out there that actually wants an ooze to be made, make sure to speak up. I'd hate to actually please someone with this creation.

Anyway, I've recorded your preferences for posterity. So I'll know what to avoid.

EDIT: And don't think I didn't see you try to sneak that little post in there at the same time as me, dawnsolara. Your antipathy towards dragons is well known, and has been added to the tally.

dawnsolara
2011-08-02, 10:20 PM
I have to say, I'm just DISGUSTED that anyone could possibly suggest that we would EVER appreciate a new dragon. I mean, honestly, they're not iconic at all, and all the dragons WotC published are completely balanced power-wise and easily used as enemies for a party.

Kellus
2011-08-03, 10:24 AM
Okay, people, I'm sure there are others out here who want to pretend they have a say in this creation. Speak up or we'll be moving on whenever the heck I feel like it. What, you want a deadline for each round? Too bad!

silphael
2011-08-03, 10:48 AM
I think there are absolutely no means a Vermin could be apreciated...

Ajadea
2011-08-03, 11:11 AM
No one needs another Humanoid monster. I mean really. They all are weaklings. It would be impossible to make a badass humanoid.

Pronounceable
2011-08-03, 11:18 AM
I'm not voting. Take that! >_>

Magicyop
2011-08-03, 11:27 AM
There are too many creative ooze creatures out there. Don't you dare make one. They suck. The generic ones provided in the monster manual are sufficient for any campaign. If you make a creative ooze monster, I'm going to punch you in the foot.

Debihuman
2011-08-03, 12:16 PM
Too many fey for sure.

Debby

TroubleBrewing
2011-08-03, 01:09 PM
If there is one more Construct added to this game, I will personally drive to WotC headquarters and scream until my lungs gave out and I was reduced to a miserable, sobbing wreck on their front steps.

If said Construct had the subtype Automobile, I'd drive that car as far west into the ocean as I could.

Circle of Life
2011-08-03, 01:11 PM
Don't you dare make a construct, and absolutely, under no circumstances, make it more interesting than the hundred other constructs with magic immunity/healing and slam attacks. That would just be stupid.

Kellus
2011-08-03, 04:20 PM
Well, I counted up your puny little votes (if you even want to call them that). Sounds like a lot of you want an animal, a magical beast, or a monstrous humanoid. Well too bad, because it won't be any of those things.

As much as a lot of you don't want a new ooze, I have to say I'm leaning towards that right now. What's that? You don't want a new ooze? Better speak up, because pretty soon it's going to be ooze for the lose.

Timeless Error
2011-08-03, 04:23 PM
I hate aberrations. The world needs less of those nasty things. Making another one sure would make me upset.

Welknair
2011-08-03, 04:31 PM
You know, I really hope you don't make a Plant monster. That would be absolutely atrocious. And it would be a terrible idea for it to be of a comedic disposition, which would make for a truly horrible creature.

NeoSeraphi
2011-08-03, 04:39 PM
If I had a second vote, I would say to all those anti-aberration people that I heartily agree, and I certainly hope Kellus doesn't make it look anything like this (http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=half-dragon+beholder#/d3jltrc).

Machinekng
2011-08-03, 08:30 PM
Know what'd I detest? Another Dragon. There just so overdone, and there's already a ton of them. heck, two WotC books have been entirely devoted to dragons.

Kellus
2011-08-03, 10:48 PM
Okay, losers. So because you're all so indecisive, I've got three different categories of monster, each of which seems like it would piss a bunch of you off. Unfortunately, a monster can only have at most two different types. So between Aberrations, Dragons, and Oozes, only two of them can make the final cut. Maybe you were hoping for something else, like a nice safe Plant. Turns out I don't really care.

Two of those types are going into the final monster, which means you're going to get a Type A (Augmented Type B). My problem is to weed out Type C in all this. Basically, I need to know which of these three types people most want to see made. If you want an Aberration, Dragon, or Ooze, please let me know. I deeply would like to know if there is anyone out there with fond thoughts or feelings about one of these types, so that I can rip those feelings out and stomp on them with an enormous iron boot.

Welknair
2011-08-03, 10:53 PM
I abhor the concept of a Dragon (Augmented Ooze). Who would even do that type of thing?

Magicyop
2011-08-03, 11:02 PM
What is this?! You've put Ooze as a finalist? That's atrocious. I just hope you never, never, ever make an Ooze (Augmented Dragon) monster. That would be the worst monster ever. I'd hate you forever if you made that monster.

Circle of Life
2011-08-03, 11:07 PM
http://i1215.photobucket.com/albums/cc507/giantmudkip/dragoncube_green.png

And that's all I have to say to that, my good sir.

Domriso
2011-08-03, 11:13 PM
Honestly, the mere idea of a Dragon (Augmented Ooze) is just atrocious. I would much rather see a nice Aberration (Augmented Dragon) or Dragon (Augmented Aberration).

NeoSeraphi
2011-08-03, 11:17 PM
I think we all know from my previous post that I would find it silly to have an Aberration (Augmented Dragon) monster

Kellus
2011-08-03, 11:21 PM
Well, I can tell that the idea of a cross between a Dragon and an Ooze is deeply unsatisfying for most of you. I regret to inform you that that's pretty much exactly what we're going to have. That being said, I'm not entirely sure which one makes you more upset, so we're going to head straight into the subtype poll.

The table in the first post is updated with the new choices. Feel free to mention any other ones that you can think of or that you make up which you would hate to see made. I promise not to use any of them.

One way or another this thing is going to be an Augmented monster. Vote for Augmented (Ooze) or Augmented (Dragon) as you like, although it really won't make much difference. And by not much difference I mean no difference at all. Because I hate you.

You can have up to three votes on this poll, since there are a lot of options. Also because I like imposing arbitrary restrictions when I won't be listening to anything you say anyway.

Welknair
2011-08-03, 11:25 PM
I cannot adequately express the dismay which I would have were I to discover that you had created anything with the Augmented Ooze, Incorporeal, or Shapechanger subtypes.

NeoSeraphi
2011-08-03, 11:27 PM
First of all, I would like to say how relieved I am by the fact that my first two non-votes meant nothing at all. (This was not a total gyp)

That said, I pray that Kellus wisely chooses not to make this creature a Lawful, Chaotic or Evil creature.

Domriso
2011-08-03, 11:39 PM
I most definitely would not want to see any Angel or Goblinoid subtypes. I mean, they wouldn't even fit, especially not if put into a Dragon (Augmented Ooze), which, as we all know, is a purely ridiculous idea.

137ben
2011-08-04, 06:31 AM
I'd really hate to see an augmented ooze or a goblinoid. Those are always the worst.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-04, 09:53 AM
It's a good thing kellus is ignoring our votes, otherwise we might need to worry about voting for something reasonable! (By which I mean don't forget kellus is actually making this, so don't be mean and not-vote something nigh-impossible or inapplicable, like goblinoid and reptilian (humanoid-specific subtypes).)

Anyway, I would love to see an (augmented ooze) almost as much as I would hate to see an (augmented dragon). Although it's very tempting to tell you not to make a swarm-subtyped monster, I think I'll say earth subtype would be even more detestable.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-04, 11:47 AM
I would absolutely hate to see anything with subtypes like Swarm, or Cookie, or Augmented Ooze.

Especially not Cookie. I mean, if I could I'd say that the only thing I really don't want is a gods damned Cookie Monster. That would be SILLY. And stupid.

Magicyop
2011-08-04, 12:34 PM
What?! What is this?! It's almost like you're just willfully ignoring our advice, but that couldn't be it.

Well, I mulled it over, and a Dragon (Augmented Ooze) is an ooze that became dragon like, while an Ooze (Augmented Dragon) is a dragon that melted or something. The first one is actually really funny.

But for the love of all that is holy, don't you dare make an Ooze with the Augmented Dragon, Angel, and Earth subtypes. Because that would be a melted dragon earth angel. Honestly, don't do that.

Neon Knight
2011-08-04, 01:04 PM
I would set myself on fire if you chose Ooze (Augemented Dragon), Angel, and Goblinoid as subtypes.

YouLostMe
2011-08-04, 03:04 PM
Augmented Ooze, Evil, and Archon are the three subtypes that, if given any say, I would most certainly immediately shut down. Don't do those.

dawnsolara
2011-08-04, 05:28 PM
The mere idea of an augmented Ooze is trivial. The creator of such a lame, uninspired creature would deserve the harshest words possible. Honestly, how DO you think of such things?!

Lord Vampyre
2011-08-04, 06:31 PM
Fine, just make your lame dragon or ooze, or even dragon ooze for that matter. Just don't make them with the Angel, Reptilian, or Shapechanger subtypes.

There are far too many angelic creatures as it is now. Besides half of them eventually fall and turn into something demonic anyway. And could anyone do with the Reptilian or Shapechanger subtypes on Dragons or Oozes. Aren't dragons already some for of reptile that generally has the ability to shapechange anyway. Oozes tend to be fairly morphic anyway, and whoever heard of a reptilian ooze.

Kellus
2011-08-04, 09:37 PM
I believe someone mentioned the swarm subtype. As stupid an idea as it is, it's a valid subtype which wasn't on the table. This might be where I would say I apologize, except that I'm really just impressed that one of you was smart enough to notice. It's been added to the list in the opening post.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-04, 09:56 PM
I believe someone mentioned the swarm subtype. As stupid an idea as it is, it's a valid subtype which wasn't on the table. This might be where I would say I apologize, except that I'm really just impressed that one of you was smart enough to notice. It's been added to the list in the opening post.

In that case I'm going to say that swarm would be absolutely horrible. Disregard what I said about earth in my previous post, if you don't mind.

137ben
2011-08-04, 09:57 PM
Yes, swarm really would be the worst subtype possible. ESPECIALLY a swarm of fine creatures.

NeoSeraphi
2011-08-04, 10:02 PM
I would like to amend my post too, and change my non-vote from chaos to swarm

Amechra
2011-08-04, 10:30 PM
You know what I, personally, would like to eviscerate? Something with the [Force] subtype; cheap-ass immunity to the most powerful wizard spell EVAR!!1!!1 (MM, for all you plebians.)

The [Void] subtype also is a load of crap; all of what, 4 monsters on the WotC website have it, and that's for a good reason. Permanent nonmagical invisibility is such a stupid ability, it is stupidlicious.

And having the [Angel] subtype, with all that? It wouldn't even be worth the effort for a homebrewer of Kellus' oft-disputed caliber (if it is truly as great as the plebians say).

(Ooc: Yeah, yeah, I know Void and Force aren't valid votes. But they are such AWESOME subtypes, they should be added :puppydog eyes:)

Kellus
2011-08-04, 10:34 PM
Oh, what's that? Those two subtypes that you just made up and would hate to see? They're in the OP now. Yeah, how do you feel about that? Yes, you, Amechra. This is your doing. Look what you have wrought.

Amechra
2011-08-04, 10:57 PM
I have no regrets, you grand spellcasting lizard-tyrant!

NeoSeraphi
2011-08-04, 11:13 PM
I know that Kellus has already decided on his type and is now ignoring our demands that he not make specific subtypes, but I just wanted to add on here that even though this is neither a type nor a subtype, I am particularly hopeful that his new homebrew monster is not an abomination. (After all, who wants abominations?)

Phosphate
2011-08-04, 11:16 PM
I really don't know how this could get any worse, as in broken. Well, I do. So, for the sake of my sanity, please don't make this an Augmented Ooze, Angel, Incorporeal monster.

Yitzi
2011-08-05, 12:48 AM
You know what I, personally, would like to eviscerate? Something with the [Force] subtype; cheap-ass immunity to the most powerful wizard spell EVAR!!1!!1 (MM, for all you plebians.)

Nah, the Force subtype alone isn't so bad. Now, something with both the Force and Incorporeal subtypes...that's evisceration-worthy (well, except that it won't work half the time.)

THEChanger
2011-08-05, 10:41 AM
Well, at least it isn't an Elemental.
But, seriously? A Dragon/Ooze combination? You idiot. There isn't any way that could possibly work. Especially if it had the Augmented Ooze, Angel, and Swarm subtypes. That would just be stupid.

dawnsolara
2011-08-05, 10:49 AM
I must change my non-vote too. While the idea of an augmented ooze is highly trivial, I must say that I cannot think of a more revolting or banal creature than a dragon with the augmented (ooze, angel, swarm) subtype. Such a creature would be so stereotypical and tropish, I fear its appearance would be met with pure contempt. And adding the force subtype to such a creature - well, that is simply a horrible idea!

We must keep our monsters all the same and completely uniform - and, dear Pelor, we must make them as vulnerable as possible to casters while making them immune to the blasted melee-types, who already have so much they can do. I mean, they HIT THINGS. With swords. While the poor casters must content themselves with changing the rules of the universe. A creature that is immune to many casting abilities is simply unnecessary - why nerf the poor wizard more than it already is?

Machinekng
2011-08-05, 10:52 AM
Actually, I think that the augmented ooze and swarm subtypes would be flavorful and interesting. I'd love to see either of them.

But force? That would just be silly

Strormer
2011-08-05, 11:50 AM
You know what I would really hate? I would just be disgusted with a Swarm of tiny ooze dragons. That would be a huge waste of time and no one would ever play that monster, EVER!

Kellus
2011-08-05, 01:26 PM
Okay, you snot-faced brats, it's come to this. This monster is going to be a Dragon (Angel, Augmented Ooze, Swarm), which I know most of you will despise. Did you say you wanted something else? I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you over my maniacal laughter.

Anyway, I've decided it's also going to have at least one of the Force, Goblinoid and Incorporeal subtypes, since those ones pissed quite a few of you off as well. We're going to be having a lightning round deathmatch showdown for those three subtypes, so let's hear your arguments.

The exact rules of the lightning round deathmatch showdown are, naturally, not open for review.

Circle of Life
2011-08-05, 01:29 PM
A swarm of Incorporeal, angelic dragon-oozes? That sounds like crap. Don't you dare unleash such a disaster upon this community.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-05, 01:29 PM
I would absolutely despise a Goblinoid subtype creature. That stuff just ain't cool, yo!

Circle of Life
2011-08-05, 01:58 PM
For the record, I will be very disappointed if the creature doesn't have an ability to do this. (http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110721200046/bakugan/images/d/d6/Funny-food-photos-meta-gummy-bear.jpg)

Kellus
2011-08-05, 02:25 PM
And time!

That's it for the lightning round deathmatch showdown. The winner, of course, is Force, since it sounds like you guys don't really like the other ones very much at all.

Maybe you think it's unfair that I conducted this run-off poll over the course of an hour on a weekday afternoon. I guess you didn't get the memo: I don't care.

New nonvote is for Alignment. The list on the front page has been updated with the possible choices, although feel free to say whatever crap happens to come to mind. After all, it's not like I'm going to be using anything you say.

You can have three or four nonvotes on this, since we're talking about the alignment aspects. Whatever you all hate the most will get mashed together into the final alignment.

Circle of Life
2011-08-05, 02:34 PM
Chaotic Funky. Because I mean, really... they're angelic gummybear dragons.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-05, 02:46 PM
I would hate to have a Black Chatoic Funky Good monster. I mean... how is that stuff even possible? It would be a disaster.

Phosphate
2011-08-05, 03:54 PM
Whatever you do, don't you dare make this monster Good and Evil at the same time. You will ruin tradition. Also, something Black would just be cliche.

Magicyop
2011-08-05, 03:54 PM
Don't ever make a Lawful Green monster. That doesn't even make sense, and wouldn't be funny at all.

YouLostMe
2011-08-05, 04:12 PM
Off the top of my head, I can honestly say that Square, Funky, Green, and Evil are all either overdone or really stupid.

Keep away from those.

Welknair
2011-08-05, 04:16 PM
A Red-Green-Blue creature would be awful. People would keep calling it the "RGB ____". And no one wants that.

THEChanger
2011-08-05, 04:31 PM
Dude, why will you not listen to me? I TOLD you that would be a bad idea. Now you have nothing. No respect. This is absolutely ridiculous.

Well, since it doesn't matter now, I guess I can try and help you pull this scrap out of the heap you threw it into. I can't give you any advice on how to align it, but I can tell you that if it involves Evil, Law, Green, or Funk, then everything will go to crap. Don't. Do. It.

Amechra
2011-08-05, 04:44 PM
Quite frankly, I am upset that you chose to include Force. I have lost respect for you, Kellus.

A [Red], [Blue], [Black}, and [White] creature would be awful; I mean, a grayish purple?

That color isn't stylish with ANYTHING.

Phosphate
2011-08-05, 04:46 PM
Actually, it's not that bad combined with a very dark grey longcoat.

gkathellar
2011-08-05, 05:35 PM
Ugh, I have to agree with Welknair — Red, Green, Blue would be a terrible combination of alignments. I mean, you can't seriously expect to combine passion, intuition and skill into some kind of swarm of hard-light angel ooze dragons. That's just stupid.

pyrefiend
2011-08-05, 06:25 PM
Red, Green AND Blue? The very idea makes me feel like lighting myself on fire. I think we all know the red philosophy is totally at odds with blue, and the green-blue relationship is so stupid I'm not even going to get into it. Please, please, do not debase yourself by throwing together such a silly and frankly ridiculous color combination.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-05, 07:24 PM
You know which of these choices I hate? True neutral. In fact, I hate it so much I'm going to not-vote for it three more times; true neutral, true neutral, and true neutral.

There, no true neutral for this thing!

Welknair
2011-08-05, 07:27 PM
"That is the only time a man can vote"?


And from that day on they had a haunted house in front of the voting booth.

137ben
2011-08-05, 07:35 PM
Really, I'd love to see more Neutral (on the G-E axis) monsters, or some more Evil monsters, since we seem to be lacking in both of those.

I truly would be disgusted to see another good monster, as every book seems to be filled with them:smallyuk:

Kellus
2011-08-06, 02:13 AM
Your discriminatory preferences have been annotated for later use in court-ordered psychological evaluations. I don't know why so many of you hate Green, but it seems to be a pathological fear you share. Useful information indeed.

C'nor
2011-08-06, 02:57 AM
I'd really hate to see a Good Funky Blue-Black creature of any sort.

Timeless Error
2011-08-06, 07:44 AM
You know what I detest? The color Green. I really would hate to see a Green aligned creature, especially a Chaotic Funky Good Green creature. Yuck!

Welknair
2011-08-06, 01:29 PM
Your discriminatory preferences have been annotated for later use in court-ordered psychological evaluations. I don't know why so many of you hate Green, but it seems to be a pathological fear you share. Useful information indeed.

I think it has something to do with broccoli and brussel sprouts. Thank Boccob you heeded my advice and opted not to make a Plant creature. I think there's a connection there.

137ben
2011-08-06, 02:01 PM
Me is still not sure what y'all mean by red/green/blue alignments:smallconfused:

Magicyop
2011-08-06, 03:43 PM
Me is still not sure what y'all mean by red/green/blue alignments:smallconfused:

Oh, and you're fine with the Funky/Square thing? :smalltongue:

137ben
2011-08-06, 04:12 PM
Square alignment:
Rather than being a specific point on the alignment grid, the square alignment represents a closed region of alignments, which happen to form a square. The funky alignment is also a closed region of points, but it is an irregular shape:smallamused:

ScionoftheVoid
2011-08-06, 06:10 PM
Please, regardless of anything else, don't make a funky, blue, square creature. That just wouldn't work, it would be awful. Definitely don't make it that.

gkathellar
2011-08-06, 06:12 PM
Me is still not sure what y'all mean by red/green/blue alignments:smallconfused:

Square alignment:
Rather than being a specific point on the alignment grid, the square alignment represents a closed region of alignments, which happen to form a square. The funky alignment is also a closed region of points, but it is an irregular shape:smallamused:

(For reference purposes, this is the Axis of Funk (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55828), and this is the Color Wheel (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=174163). They're respectively the silliest and most important alignment rethinks on these boards. Learn both well, young student.)

Owrtho
2011-08-06, 10:40 PM
Well, all I have to say to this, is that it would be terrible if the creature turned out to be colourless and funky.

Owrtho

Kellus
2011-08-06, 11:49 PM
So I guess you people can't even keep three simple alignment variants straight, because somehow we've ended up with Funky Green. Try to keep it together, nimrods. I understand that vomit frightens you, but let's try to keep it professional.

Anyway, now I really want to know what challenge rating you don't want this to be. And because this is a dragon, we're voting for size. Check the OP for the CR brackets you can pick from. Or, you know, whatever. I'm probably going to ignore everything you say anyway.

You can vote for up to two entries, but to keep it interesting you can split that between the polls. So feel free to double up on size and ignore CR, for example. I seriously don't care.

Owrtho
2011-08-07, 12:18 AM
I say I see no way this could work out as a true dragon and pc race. That would be a horrible horrible idea, and I advise you against it vehemently.

Owrtho.

Amechra
2011-08-07, 12:23 AM
Yes, a Diminuative Player Race would be stupid, and below notice.

Phosphate
2011-08-07, 02:32 AM
Nah, if you ask me, a True Dragon Epic Monstrosity would still be the worst choice available.

Mercenary Pen
2011-08-07, 03:58 AM
Like many others, I would visibly retch at the thought of a diminutive player race.

Pronounceable
2011-08-07, 05:15 AM
I'm still adamant on not voting. I shan't play by your rules!!!

gkathellar
2011-08-07, 05:40 AM
You know, this annoys me now, but after you inevitably make some kind of horrible Diminutive Epic Monstrosity I probably won't even be able to sleep at night. THANKS GUY.

Magicyop
2011-08-07, 07:55 AM
The only way this could possibly be worse is if you made a monster that was both diminutive and an epic monstrosity. That would really ruin this. A terrible creature from beyond time who can also barely fit into the palm of your hand would be just AWFUL.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-07, 08:34 AM
I have to say that a large creature with a CR between 5 and 10 would just be too logical and absolutely terrible.

137ben
2011-08-07, 10:10 AM
I'd really really hate to see a fine and epic monster. It's not like we don't have tons of them already. A fine and epic monster would be about the worst idea ever.

Hazzardevil
2011-08-07, 10:10 AM
I must say that everyone's ideas are stupid, especially the idea of a Collosal Humanoid with the Augmented Subtuype.
(I don't know if this vote makes it more likely for this idea or less likely.)

Mercenary Pen
2011-08-07, 10:22 AM
I must say that everyone's ideas are stupid, especially the idea of a Collosal Humanoid with the Augmented Subtuype.
(I don't know if this vote makes it more likely for this idea or less likely.)

(I'm afraid you've missed the boat on those parts of the vote, so our vindictive host cares not for your worst nightmares in those categories- unless he decides otherwise. I suggest you express your disgust at the CR and size category of creature that torment your waking dreams most thoroughly.)

vampire2948
2011-08-07, 12:59 PM
The very notion of another monster smaller than tiny leaves me with an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

dawnsolara
2011-08-07, 04:57 PM
I must say, the idea of a true dragon pc race is simply silly. Who could stomach the idea of playing a true dragon? It's not like they're iconic parts of the game!

THEChanger
2011-08-07, 05:01 PM
....Don't you dare make a True Dragon PC Race. I'll burn down your computer.

Domriso
2011-08-07, 09:58 PM
A true dragon that can be played by PCs? Bizarre, unsettling, and absolutely obnoxious. Such a thing is a monstrosity, and should get you banned just for suggesting it!

Kellus
2011-08-08, 03:53 PM
Seems a lot of you hate the idea of a diminutive player race. Well, to hell with that! You're going to play a six-inch tall incorporeal dragon ooze and you're going to like it.

You're now going to vote on special abilities. You can vote for up to six choices. I promise that the actual final product will include at least zero of these choices.

gkathellar
2011-08-08, 04:14 PM
Kellus, I would offer my condolences for your inevitable failure to balance an LA+0 swarm of ooze dragons. I would, but over the course of this thread I've grown to hate you.

Maybe you can lessen that hate, though! Maybe you can create a creature that doesn't have Blindsight/Blindsense, a Breath Weapon, Constrict, Fast Healing, a Fly Speed or Psionics.

Because if this monster does have any of those I'll have to light you on fire.

Amechra
2011-08-08, 04:31 PM
Ugh, this is an exercise in horror. HORROR I SAY!

Only way it could be worse is if it had Splitting, A Barghest's Ability to gain HD through consumption of corpses, Hive Mind, Regeneration, Shadowcasting, and an Alternate Form.

Because the only thing I can think of that is more of a horrifyingly stupid idea than a tiny playable dragon is a tiny playable dragon that turns into its own unkillable flesh-eating shapeshifting army that casts "spells" from it's shadows.

That is just overdone and boring and stupid and the English language doesn't even BEGIN to be able to cover the cliche nature of this idea.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-08, 04:42 PM
Ugh, this is an exercise in horror. HORROR I SAY!

Only way it could be worse is if it had Splitting, A Barghest's Ability to gain HD through consumption of corpses, Hive Mind, Regeneration, Shadowcasting, and an Alternate Form.

Because the only thing I can think of that is more of a horrifyingly stupid idea than a tiny playable dragon is a tiny playable dragon that turns into its own unkillable flesh-eating shapeshifting army that casts "spells" from it's shadows.

That is just overdone and boring and stupid and the English language doesn't even BEGIN to be able to cover the cliche nature of this idea.

I couldn't agree more with your assessment, Amechra. It would be an absolute destruction of all the good and kind things in this world.

Owrtho
2011-08-08, 05:53 PM
Seems a lot of you hate the idea of a diminutive player race. Well, to hell with that! You're going to play a six-inch tall incorporeal dragon ooze and you're going to like it.

As terrifying as the prospect is, I suppose there is some small solace that it isn't going to be a true dragon player race.

As for special abilities, all I can say is be sure to avoid such horrors as Alternate Form, Constrict, Feed, Hive Mind, Split, or worst of all Frogs *shudder*.

Owrtho

137ben
2011-08-08, 07:47 PM
As much as I hate a DIMINUATIVE player race, I would really really hate a FINE player race. But my absolute favorite size for anything would be if it were a true dragon.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-08, 07:59 PM
As much as I hate a DIMINUATIVE player race, I would really really hate a FINE player race. But my absolute favorite size for anything would be if it were a true dragon.

You're a bit late.

Anyway, not not-voting this round because... I just don't see how this could get any more ridiculous. :smallconfused:

137ben
2011-08-08, 08:06 PM
I don't think I could stand seeing another creature with either anti-magic, level-loss, or hive mind. Really, level loss is probably the most limited ability in the game.

Lord Vampyre
2011-08-08, 08:31 PM
If you're going to make it a player race, just don't give it an Alternate Form, Blindsight, Fast Healing, Frightful Presence, Hive Mind, Burrowing.

THEChanger
2011-08-08, 10:01 PM
At least it's not a True Dragon. But, a PC Race? What were you thinking?
Argh. No. I've invested too much of my time into this thing to watch you screw it up. Kellus, I'm telling you right now man, a PC Race CAN NOT have any of the following:
Alternate Form, Breath Weapon, Feed(Like a Barghest), Frogs, Hive Mind, or Split.
As long as you stay away from those, you might, I repeat, MIGHT be able to salvage this.

Howler Dagger
2011-08-08, 10:04 PM
I despise Antimagic

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-09, 08:55 AM
Anyway, not not-voting this round because... I just don't see how this could get any more ridiculous. :smallconfused:

On second thought... I would love, love, love (+3) giving this thing the Barghest's feed ability! I would hate blindsight thought, and really hate (-2) alternate form.

Amechra
2011-08-09, 02:59 PM
(Ooc: Dark Fiddler, you make me sad, so very very sad. I wanted to see him balance THAT ability.)

vampire2948
2011-08-09, 03:30 PM
The Dark Fiddler simply desires your failure, the Barghest's feed ability is the worst choice, ever., the only things that come close to it's utter primal terribleness are giving titchy ooze dragons psionics, alternate forms, truenaming-themed SLAs or shadowcasting.

Heed my words, and perhaps we shall get out of this alive.

Kellus
2011-08-09, 04:09 PM
Our poll (if you want to call it that) is coming to a close, and Hive Mind, Alternate Form and Split seem to be the least popular abilities. These three are now for sure part of the monster. Why? Because I hate you.

Anyway, I don't want to end it without making as many people angry as I possibly can, so we're going to have another Final Jeopardy Lightning Round Deathmatch Elimination Chamber Showdown Vote. The options are anything that's had two downvotes or more, which are:

Antimagic
Blindsense/Blindsight
Constrict
Fast Healing
Feed
Frogs
Psionics
Regeneration
Shadowcasting

Everybody gets a limited revote on these options. Depending on the outcome, I totally promise that one of these might be in the final monster. This is it, the moment you've been waiting for. No rules, no restrictions, no vote limits. Let me have it. TELL ME WHAT YOU HATE.

Mercenary Pen
2011-08-09, 04:16 PM
My loathing of this creature is growing steadily greater- but if you were to give it Fast-healing, Shadowcasting and constrict then entire cities would tremble at the distilled hatred I would unleash.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-09, 04:31 PM
I WOULD ABSOLUTELY HATE YOU IF YOU INCLUDED SHADOWCASTING ( -3 )

Woops, caps.

Owrtho
2011-08-09, 04:49 PM
The idea of frogs getting in is just disgusting. I also couldn't abide the thought antimagic, Blindsense/Blindsight, Psionics, or regeneration.

Owrtho

Kellus
2011-08-09, 05:01 PM
Aaaand we're done. The clear winner of the showdown is Feed, since you all expressed such disgust at those other options.

So, to recap. This monster is a Dragon (Angel, Augmented Ooze, Force, Swarm) who is Diminutive, has an alignment of Funky Green, is balanced as a PC Race with +0 LA, and has an Alternate Form, a Hive Mind, and the ability to Split like a black pudding and Feed on souls like a barghest. I don't mind saying that this sounds like basically the worst idea I've ever heard, and I sincerely hope none of you are looking forward to it.

Should be complete in a day or two, or basically whenever I feel like it. I hope you all hate this monster as much as I hate you. Yes, you.

Feel free to discuss name ideas, as dumb as they will inevitably be.

pyrefiend
2011-08-09, 05:07 PM
The thought of this disgusting conglomerate of abilities, subtypes and alignments has already made me violently ill, but if it were to focus strongly around an anti-magic theme, I think I might die.

I'm deadly serious, I'm pretty sure that I would keel over right here at my computer screen.

Think, Kellus. Think. Do you really want that on your conscience?

Amechra
2011-08-09, 05:44 PM
Ugh, those were my LEAST favorite abilities. At least it won't be themed around Love and Friendship, because, quite frankly, that would make me cry.

Last time I cried, they called it the Great Flood. You know, that one with the Noah bloke? DO YOU WANT DEATHS ON YOUR CONSCIENCE!?

Lord Vampyre
2011-08-09, 07:38 PM
Just don't call it some sort of Draconic Infestation. Besides, I still think you're going to find it impossible to balance around a PC +0 LA. You simply have far too many abilities to make it possible. Even if you pile on the limitations, its just going to turn it into a glass cannon of some sort. Don't worry, we won't laugh too much at the epic nonsense you are about ready to produce.

THEChanger
2011-08-09, 08:20 PM
By Heironeous' left hand, Kellus, you have your work cut out for you. I have absolutely no idea how you think you can pull this one out of the gutter. With all those abilities, you're gonna have a hell of a time balancing it for LA +0. Though, I'd hate for you to have the option of adjusting LA slightly for balance's sake. You chose what you wanted, so this is your cup of tea. You've got to drink it. And I'm aware I just mangaled that figure of speech. I don't care.

YouLostMe
2011-08-13, 11:53 PM
Honestly, I don't think the creature should have jello as part of its name, because that would be entertaining, and entertaining things are stupid.

Doorhandle
2011-08-15, 06:46 AM
I would love it if this had a dwarf-fortress name, like WOBBLEMAIMS, or BRINEF****RS.

of course, that means this monstrosity cannot have those names. ever.

enderlord99
2011-08-15, 04:52 PM
I don't not dislike the non-lack of not having no name other than the one that isn't not Bob*. We're pretending to vote on names now, right?

*I don't know whether that boiled down to "want" or "don't want." I also don't care.:smallamused:

Doorhandle
2011-08-17, 12:31 AM
I counted like 7 negatives, so I think it's a no.

YouLostMe
2011-08-17, 01:08 AM
I counted like 7 negatives, so I think it's a no.


I don't not dislike the non-lack of not having no name other than the one that isn't not Bob*. We're pretending to vote on names now, right?

*I don't know whether that boiled down to "want" or "don't want." I also don't care.:smallamused:

It's not quite English, but I believe that's actually 9. Result is the same.

Domriso
2011-08-17, 01:36 AM
Huh, I counted eight, assuming that "non-lack" counts as a negative.

enderlord99
2011-08-17, 10:41 AM
Look people! It's ambiguous, as I intended, but I really hate the name Bob, either way!

Lord Vampyre
2011-08-17, 01:51 PM
That's it I think the monster should really not be named "Not Bob"!!! I mean who would name a monster that anyway.

C'nor
2011-08-17, 05:47 PM
Yeah, the monster really shouldn't be named "Not Bob".

3WhiteFox3
2011-08-17, 08:35 PM
The monster should most definitely not ever be named anything even closely resembling "Not Bob."

And if it was then my hatred would pierce the very depths of Hades.

Kellus
2011-08-19, 12:28 AM
Calcatrix

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs40/i/2009/047/3/5/Heaven_Spirit_by_ByoWT1125.jpg
Image credit ByoWT1125 of Deviantart.com.

A calcatrix channeling angelic wings from the Heavens.

When the mighty dragon kings and queens finally pass from life, they become some of the most coveted souls in the Outer Planes. Whoever controls these souls has control over some of the most powerful creatures that ever lived. Occasionally, these souls are bought or bartered for by the powers of the Upper Planes, and they end up in the control of archangels. The souls of these mighty dragons usually end up distilled into a primal, fluid nature, and are given a heavenly mandate to pursue the aims of heaven back in the mortal world. An angelic creation of this nature is known as a calcatrix, and is an exceptionally powerful soul which has been given life once more to hunt down those who corrupt the mortal realm. A calcatrix is composed of a multitude of souls bound by heavenly forces under the control of its one original royal dragon soul. Calcatrices are driven to hunt down unnatural things and creatures, and to purify them in the name of the Upper Planes.

A calcatrix isn't born so much as they simply come into being in exceptionally holy places. They are born in full adulthood, and have a rudimentary understanding of their purpose and nature. Calcatrices don't have their old memories, but it's common for them to have strange dreams of things or places they've never seen before drawn from their previous life. Although a calcatrix is forged from the Upper Planes, its primary mandate is to maintain balance on the Material, and they are primarily opposed to those who pervert the nature of life.

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/072/e/6/Fractal_Dragon_by_Inukaya.jpg
Image credit Inukaya of Deviantart.com.

A calcatrix broken apart into its constituent souls, showing its fractal nature.

[hr]

Racial Traits

Dragon (Angel, Augmented Ooze, Force)
Abilities: -2 Dex, -2 Cha, +2 Con. Although a calcatrix has many advantages from its legion souls, it is unwieldy by nature thanks to its morphic form. More strangely, calcatrices have difficulty maintaining a sense of self, especially when they have many souls trapped inside them.
Size: Medium. As Medium creatures, calcatrices have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
Speed: A calcatrix has a base land speed of 30ft.
Angel Wings (Su): By burning a soul off their fractal tally as a swift action, a calcatrix can channel angelic wings which provide it with a glide. While they have their wings a calcatrix can move 20ft. horizontally for every 5ft. they descend. All falls are treated as 10ft. shorter than normal, and they are treated as having a fly speed equal to their base land speed (clumsy maneuverability) to determine how they can move through the air. These wings last until the end of their turn. Starting at 5 Hit Dice, their wings provide them with an actual fly speed instead of a gliding ability.
Amorphous Form (Su): As an immediate action, a calcatrix can burn three souls off their fractal tally in order to assume their fluid, oozelike nature temporarily. This provides them with immunity to a single sneak attack, critical hit, mind-affecting ability, poison effect, polymorph effect, stunning effect, or gaze attack.
Darkvision (Ex): As a dragon, a calcatrix has darkvision to 60ft. as well as low-light vision.
Dragonheart (Ex): As a dragon, a calcatrix is immune to paralysis effects and magic sleep effects.
Feed (Su): When a calcatrix slays a living opponent, it can feed on the corpse, devouring both flesh and life force, as a full-round action. Feeding destroys the victim’s body and prevents any form of raising or resurrection that requires part of the corpse. There is a 50% chance that a wish, miracle, or true resurrection spell can restore a devoured victim to life. Check once for each destroyed creature. If the check fails, the creature cannot be brought back to life by mortal magic. Whenever a calcatrix devours a creature's life force, they add a single soul to their fractal tally, to a maximum number of souls equal to 1 + its Hit Dice.
Fractal Tally (Ex): A calcatrix's inner composition is formed from an amalgamation of souls. At any one time a calcatrix can have a number of souls inside of it equal to 1 + its Hit Dice. This number is referred to as its fractal tally. Although this number can fluctuate up and down, a calcatrix always has at least one soul, its prime soul, which is the controlling spirit of a royal dragon. This prime soul cannot be burned off to use any ability, and all other souls are consumed before any effect targets the prime soul (if an effect such as trap the soul which specifically targets the soul is used). Whenever a calcatrix is affected by an ability which depends on a number of HD (such as holy word) it counts as having an additional number of Hit Dice equal to its fractal tally (less 1 for its prime soul).
Forceful Heart (Su): A calcatrix's composite souls are bound together into one being by heavenly force. By turning this property to their advantage, they can interact with the worlds beyond. As a free action they can activate this ability by burning off a single soul from their fractal tally. They can add the ghost touch effect to themselves and anything they wield until the end of their turn.
Heavenly Form (Su): As an immediate action, a calcatrix can burn off three souls from its fractal tally in order to teporarily assume a heavenly mantle. This mantle provides it with angelic resistances. It gains immunity to a single acid effect, cold effect, or petrification effect. When they activate this effect they shed heavenly light out to a radius of 60ft. until the end of their next turn.
Spirit Breath (Su): Calcatrices can channel the souls of the dead in order to bring heaven's wrath upon their enemies. A calcatrix has a breath weapon, which they can activate as a standard action by burning off any number of souls. The breath weapon takes the form of a 60ft. cone or a 30ft. line, and deals 1d8 damage for every soul burned up to use it. It offers a Reflex save (DC 10 + 1/2 the calcatrix's Hit Dice + the calcatrix's Constitution modifier) for half damage, and it is a force effect.
Spiritual Nature (Ex): A calcatrix has a vulnerability to damaging effects with the [Force] descriptor, as well as damage from weapons made of cold iron. Any damage from these sources deal half again as much damage (1.5x) as normal to a calcatrix. However, they also cleave through the souls which compose a calcatrix, allowing it to use its split soul ability.
Split Soul (Su): Whenever a calcatrix takes damage from a force effect or a weapon made of cold iron, they can activate this ability (no action required) in order to have the attack carve one of its souls in two. As long as it has at least one soul aside from its prime soul in its fractal tally, the calcatrix can add one to its tally (up to the normal maximum). Only one soul can be created with each qualifying attack.
Swarm Form (Su): As a standard action, a calcatrix can transform into a swarm of spirits, releasing them from its corporeal body. It gains the Swarm subtype, and its size changes to Diminutive (although it actually takes up 10ft. of space instead of 5ft. as a swarm). The calcatrix loses access to all normal abilities and attacks, although it gains access to a distracting attack which deals 1d6 points of damage for every 5 HD. A swarming calcatrix burns three souls from its fractal tally at the end of each of its turns. If it doesn't have enough souls to sustain it, it transforms back into its normal form (ending up in one of its four squares of its choice). A calcatrix in swarm form has all of the normal immunities enjoyed by a swarm, including precision effects as well as being tripped, bull rushed, and so on. While swarming they also have a fly speed of twice their base land speed (good maneuverability).
Level Adjustment: +0
Favoured Class: Dragon Shaman

Vital Statistics

Random Starting Ages
{table=head]Adulthood|Simple Classes1|Veteran Classes2|Complex Classes3
From Birth|+1d4 years|+1d6 years|+2d4 years[/table]
1Such as barbarian or sorcerer
2Such as bard or fighter
3Such as cleric or wizard

Height and Weight
{table=head]Gender|Base Height|Height Modifier|Base Weight|Weight Modifier
Female|5'0"|+2d8|130 lb|x 2 lb
Male|4'11"|+2d6|125 lb|x 2 lb[/table]

Thanks for participating, everybody! This was a doozy to make, and I hope you like it!

Domriso
2011-08-19, 12:41 AM
Woah. I mean... woah.

Owrtho
2011-08-19, 12:51 AM
Quite nice. However, it seems that for clarity's sake you should mention the type of action needed to use the breath weapon. Otherwise it looks good.

Owrtho

Kellus
2011-08-19, 12:53 AM
Quite nice. However, it seems that for clarity's sake you should mention the type of action needed to use the breath weapon. Otherwise it looks good.

Owrtho

Thanks for the heads up. Hope you're all hating it as much as I hate you. :smallsmile:

Amechra
2011-08-19, 01:07 AM
This is the most loathsome thing I've ever seen! I will go and claw out my eyes now.

OH GOD I WANT TO PLAY ONE AND I WANT TO PLAY ONE NOW!

Doorhandle
2011-08-19, 01:59 AM
Hot. Diggidy. DAMN.


I guess I should forgive your abrasive nature earlier because that is incredibly impressive.

Circle of Life
2011-08-19, 02:47 AM
...wow.

I stopped participating when I figured the will of the community had created an utter monstrosity, but... wow.

Never happier to be so wrong.

Owrtho
2011-08-19, 03:09 AM
OH GOD I WANT TO PLAY ONE AND I WANT TO PLAY ONE NOW!

Someone should see to making a game in the play by post section for a party made entirely of these.

Owrtho

Darthteej
2011-08-19, 03:57 AM
In a crowd of stunned silence, I stand up and start clapping.

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-19, 06:40 AM
Kellus, you sly bastard, I don't know how you pulled this off. I should have had more faith in you. :smallamused:


Fractal Tally (Ex): A calcatrix's inner composition is formed from an amalgamation of souls. At any one time a calcatrix can have a number of souls inside of it equal to 1 + its Hit Dice. This number is referred to as its fractal tally. Although this number can fluctuate up and down, a calcatrix always has at least one soul, its prime soul, which is the controlling spirit of a royal dragon. This prime soul cannot be burned off to use any ability, and all other souls are consumed before any effect targets the prime soul. Whenever a calcatrix is affected by an ability which depends on a number of HD (such as holy word) it counts as having an additional number of Hit Dice equal to its fractal tally (less 1 for its prime soul).

The bold part here confuses me a bit. Does that mean that the fractal tally acts as a buffer against any sort of effect like negative levels, charm, etc.? :smallconfused:


In a crowd of stunned silence, I stand up and start clapping.

It wasn't exactly silent before you though :smalltongue:

137ben
2011-08-19, 08:27 AM
Wow, that's awful:smallwink:
It just seems somewhat powerful for a LA +0 monster...:smallconfused:

Timeless Error
2011-08-19, 08:39 AM
Out of character:

Wait...did you just make a feasible, creative, and at least somewhat logical player race from our suicidal, insane votes? One that I actually am tempted to play? Wow...
A couple things:
1) Does it have a favored class?
2) Forgive my idiocy if I missed something, but how exactly does this creature recharge it's fractal tally? I don't think it says in the text, other than the bit about gaining souls if it takes cold iron/force damage.

C'nor
2011-08-19, 09:07 AM
Someone should see to making a game in the play by post section for a party made entirely of these.

Owrtho

Yes. Yes, they should.

Shadow Lord
2011-08-19, 09:17 AM
Kellus, here, have several cookies. You deserve them.

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/115220-cookies.jpg

Kellus
2011-08-19, 10:27 AM
Out of character:

Wait...did you just make a feasible, creative, and at least somewhat logical player race from our suicidal, insane votes? One that I actually am tempted to play? Wow...
A couple things:
1) Does it have a favored class?
2) Forgive my idiocy if I missed something, but how exactly does this creature recharge it's fractal tally? I don't think it says in the text, other than the bit about gaining souls if it takes cold iron/force damage.

1) Favoured Class was derp, it's now Dragon Shaman.
2) Two ways to recharge. They can split their souls like the ascended ooze they are when hit by cold iron or [Force] damage, or they can feed on other peoples' souls. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one will be simpler to pull off.


The bold part here confuses me a bit. Does that mean that the fractal tally acts as a buffer against any sort of effect like negative levels, charm, etc.?

I put in an extra line explaining it. Basically if there is an effect like trap the soul which specifically targets a soul, the extras are consumed or trapped before the prime one is in danger. It's a niche flavour immunity. Still, thanks for the heads up!

Anyway, glad everyone loathes it.

THEChanger
2011-08-19, 10:40 AM
Kellus, this is utterly amazing. Strange, but amazing. I can't wait to play one.


On that note, some of you might be interested in this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11674655#post11674655)

The Dark Fiddler
2011-08-19, 11:27 AM
I put in an extra line explaining it. Basically if there is an effect like trap the soul which specifically targets a soul, the extras are consumed or trapped before the prime one is in danger. It's a niche flavour immunity. Still, thanks for the heads up!

Ah, makes more sense now. Thanks for elaborating there.

Anyway, I've noticed that it either doesn't have natural weapons or I failed a spot check. Assuming it's the first, was the a purposeful decision or did you just forgot?

Kellus
2011-08-19, 11:30 AM
Ah, makes more sense now. Thanks for elaborating there.

Anyway, I've noticed that it either doesn't have natural weapons or I failed a spot check. Assuming it's the first, was the a purposeful decision or did you just forgot?

No, no natural attack forms. I'm not that observant, but I probably would have noticed if I'd forgotten to give it teeth or something. :smallwink:

Seriously though, it's a PC race first and a monster second. Although draconic in nature, it has manipulating limbs rather than claws, and while it can feed on souls to augment its nature it doesn't have massive fangs or anything.

enderlord99
2011-08-19, 11:40 AM
Wow. You actually managed to make a Dragon (Angel, Augmented Ooze, Force)... AND MAKE IT BELIEVABLE!!! Just "wow."

Timeless Error
2011-08-19, 12:29 PM
Two ways to recharge. They can split their souls like the ascended ooze they are when hit by cold iron or [Force] damage, or they can feed on other peoples' souls. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one will be simpler to pull off.

Oh, right, missed the part about feasting on dead souls to gain more souls...but that makes a lot of sense. Somehow it just didn't register before.

Anyway, thanks for the totally awesome utterly despicable new player race!

Owrtho
2011-08-19, 12:32 PM
Seriously though, it's a PC race first and a monster second. Although draconic in nature, it has manipulating limbs rather than claws, and while it can feed on souls to augment its nature it doesn't have massive fangs or anything.

Blame the ooze part. It seems like being an ooze would take the edge off any fangs or claws it had.

Owrtho

mootoall
2011-08-19, 09:14 PM
A player race that gives abilities beyond assorted skill bonuses and stat boosts? Fluff that isn't "Is racist?" Sir, you have violated every design convention 3.5e had put in place for races, and I hate you for it. Merciful gods I couldn't write that without putting this tag on the end: Thanks for making a PC race that actually makes your race choice matter beyond "Gives bonus to a stat I need."

dawnsolara
2011-08-19, 10:30 PM
*Slow, dramatic clapping* Wow. Just wow. That's an amazing creature, with truly awesome fluff. I can't believe you took our random outpouring of . . . stuff . . . and made it so awesome. Now I want to play one of these. Or, better yet, have one as a cohort in a game. Because being followed around by a dragon angel made of souls that has ooze properties and can turn into a swarm is just awesome.

Color me amazed. A thousand cookies - though I fear I haven't baked any recently. Would mac-n-cheese suffice instead? I have plenty of it, since I just made a fresh batch (an amazing recipe, mostly because it involves a full pound of cheese).

Lord Vampyre
2011-08-30, 07:36 PM
I'm curious, what is the Calcatrix's normal appearance when they aren't channelling souls off of their fractal tally? I keep picturing a variation on the Spellscales from Races of the Dragon. The size describes them as being medium, but it doesn't say whether they are bipedal or quadrapedal creatures. Being considered True Dragons, it is quite possible that they could be either.

This becomes important when trying to figure out what type of gear they would use, and whether or not they would use a mount.

My other thought was that since many dragons were capable of polymorphing at will before their deaths, that the Calcatrix would select a permanent humanoid form as they came into being. This would allow them to blend in with a particular society as they went about fulfilling their purpose. This would cause their true nature to be revealed only when they are channeling souls off of their Fractal Tally.

Kellus
2011-08-30, 08:48 PM
I'm curious, what is the Calcatrix's normal appearance when they aren't channelling souls off of their fractal tally? I keep picturing a variation on the Spellscales from Races of the Dragon. The size describes them as being medium, but it doesn't say whether they are bipedal or quadrapedal creatures. Being considered True Dragons, it is quite possible that they could be either.

This becomes important when trying to figure out what type of gear they would use, and whether or not they would use a mount.

My other thought was that since many dragons were capable of polymorphing at will before their deaths, that the Calcatrix would select a permanent humanoid form as they came into being. This would allow them to blend in with a particular society as they went about fulfilling their purpose. This would cause their true nature to be revealed only when they are channeling souls off of their Fractal Tally.

A calcatrix can be flavoured to look however you like, but for what it's worth the default assumption is a humanoid dragon. Bear in mind they are NOT true dragons, and do not advance as such. The size loser was Diminutive (as seen in their fractal form) and the losing CR Bracket was PC Race. They have the Dragon type, but they aren't true dragons like a Red Dragon or an Amethyst Dragon.

The main thing to keep in mind is that even if you prefer to see them as being four-legged or something they have the same restrictions for gear and carrying capacity and reach as a human. If it's not in the description or the size category, they don't have it.

Welknair
2011-08-31, 11:53 AM
Someone should see to making a game in the play by post section for a party made entirely of these.

Owrtho

I'd play.


And wow. I am absolutely stunned. THIS IS AMAZING. Sometimes I forget how amazing your really are. This is stunning. I... Wow.



Though I am somewhat confused with how their Prime Soul interacts with their Fractal Tally. Is that the "+1" in "HD+1"? If so, does it count towards the way Calcatrixes are treated as having more HD? The "Less one for it's prime soul" kind of confused me. If you can't spend it and it doesn't count towards the only passive ability you use the souls for, why count it in the Tally at all?


I now want to both play one, and go try to make an epic player race of my own.

C'nor
2011-08-31, 12:16 PM
I'd play.
*snip*


Head on over to the thread then! It's linked to above.

Garryl
2011-08-31, 12:17 PM
Agreed. It would be easier to understand if the fractal tally was the number of souls beyond the prime soul (which doesn't count for most purposes of the fractal tally, anyways). Zero indexing for souls, if you will.

Welknair
2011-08-31, 12:23 PM
Head on over to the thread then! It's linked to above.

I can't seem to find the aforementioned link. I must be failing a spot check... Would you kindly mind relinking, or quoting the post which contains the link?

C'nor
2011-08-31, 12:25 PM
Kellus, this is utterly amazing. Strange, but amazing. I can't wait to play one.


On that note, some of you might be interested in this (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=11674655#post11674655)

This is the link - play hasn't started yet, so this is just the recruitment thread, but we do have a DM.

Kellus
2011-08-31, 08:59 PM
Though I am somewhat confused with how their Prime Soul interacts with their Fractal Tally. Is that the "+1" in "HD+1"? If so, does it count towards the way Calcatrixes are treated as having more HD? The "Less one for it's prime soul" kind of confused me. If you can't spend it and it doesn't count towards the only passive ability you use the souls for, why count it in the Tally at all?

Sorry for the confusion about the fractal tally. It's fairly simple. The basis is that they have 1 prime soul which is their own. If this prime soul is soul trapped or something, they suffer the regular effects of it. They can't spend this soul to activate any of their other abilities, because it's their own.

They can also accumulate additional souls equal to their Hit Dice that they can spend on things. The prime soul controls all of the other ones through the hive mind (which was one of the special abilities people hated).

So you wind up with a fractal tally of 1 + HD, with a single soul that you can't spend. If your fractal tally is ever actually equal to 1, that's when you are vulnerable to things like trap the soul.

Clear as mud?

Welknair
2011-08-31, 09:02 PM
Sorry for the confusion about the fractal tally. It's fairly simple. The basis is that they have 1 prime soul which is their own. If this prime soul is soul trapped or something, they suffer the regular effects of it. They can't spend this soul to activate any of their other abilities, because it's their own.

They can also accumulate additional souls equal to their Hit Dice that they can spend on things. The prime soul controls all of the other ones through the hive mind (which was one of the special abilities people hated).

So you wind up with a fractal tally of 1 + HD, with a single soul that you can't spend. If your fractal tally is ever actually equal to 1, that's when you are vulnerable to things like trap the soul.

Clear as mud?

So the +1 is indeed your Prime Soul. The confusion was as to why it was included in the tally at all, as it does not count towards anything that the Tally does. It's just... there. The bit about Trap the Soul is certainly important, though I do think that you should make a distinction about their Prime Soul and their Tally Soul. It's easier to say that Tally can go up to HD, and down to 0. If at 0, the Calcatrix is vulnerable to Trap the Soul and similar.

Morph Bark
2011-09-01, 07:19 AM
Kellus, you are crackin' mad in the head and you are amazing for it, because that crack allows great ideas to slip out and manifest into the world.

I originally had some critique on it, but upon further and more detailed reading of the race it appears my concerns were already addressed, just not how or where I would have immediately expected them.

I am honestly intruiged and left wanting more, either someone else making a Don't Vote Up a Monster IV thread or myself.

Keep up the good work, Kellus. :smallcool:

TroubleBrewing
2011-09-01, 10:18 AM
That was so cool. We need to do this again RIGHT NOW.

For real. Right now.

Welknair
2011-09-01, 11:07 AM
That was so cool. We need to do this again RIGHT NOW.

For real. Right now.

I think we need to give him a little break for his epic-ness to recharge. He must've emptied the tanks on that one.

Zeta Kai
2011-09-06, 02:09 PM
Well done, Kellus. Well done.