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Incanus Kindler
2011-11-26, 03:39 PM
In our group, I'm always the DM. I've only been running for a few years, but in those few years we've actually had a campaign come to an end without just dissolving, so I'd say that's an accomplishment.

My old group broke up for personal reasons and I've been trying to find new people to play with. A little over a month ago I finally decided to set up a game for my roommates who had been very interested in playing D&D. I set up a pretty simple session surrounding an NPC that couldn't die that wanted help figuring out more about his problem. I started the session out at a local villager's funeral, and asked the PC's to tell me why they would attend, in order to establish them in the town.

It instantly started going downhill. None of my players wanted to describe their characters at all. I had enough trouble getting the fighter to tell me that he was an orc. The players all refused to name their characters and did not want to speak to any NPCs. I quickly had my quest giver show up and try talking to them. They refused to speak to him other than yes or no questions. I was not getting anywhere with my players.

Eventually I just had a character walk up to attack them. I assumed they were only interested in fighting, if they didn't want to roleplay. But as soon as this character interacted with my characters at all, my orc player became furious. He stood up and destroyed his character sheet. He told me that he felt like a moron and he couldn't believe I played a game this stupid. He promptly stormed off. The rest of my roommates soon followed. I had never been more embarrassed.

What makes me feel worse is that my roommates knew what they were getting into. And they certainly aren't shy people. One of them even manages the gaming shop where I buy all of my books, so he was entirely familiar with the game.

Ever since then I've been too afraid to roleplay. A completely new group of people has asked me to run a game for them and I can't even write a session that involves talking to NPCs in any way. I'm constantly thinking of fun new ideas for games but can't get past the quest giver anymore. And I don't find a lot of fun in only running encounters.

Sorry if this post is kind of long. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get back into the feel of roleplaying again? Or do you think I may have done something wrong when I ran the session for my friends?

Xefas
2011-11-26, 03:55 PM
Well, you're playing D&D - an RPG that puts nearly all the pressure onto the GM to make the game fun. You have to do all the work, and get to take all the blame.

Perhaps it would be refreshing for you to play a GMless game. Here is a nice alphabetized list (http://story-games.com/forums/comments.php?DiscussionID=14922&page=1#Comment_339365) of 95 GMless games. I'm sure you can find one to your liking (I'll vouch for Fiasco and Universalis). In this situation, the onus is on everyone to bring their own fun and play as a group. If they're actually interested in playing an RPG, then it'll work. If they aren't, then nothing will happen and it'll be their fault, and you'll know they probably weren't that interested in the first place.

Maybe not as a permanent thing, but just to give yourself a break before you jump back into DMing D&D.

Othesemo
2011-11-26, 05:55 PM
Personally, I'd suggest taking a break from DMing. What you describe happens to me a lot- I can DM fine for a while, but after one or two bad sessions I just feel completely burnt out. For example, I once had to dissolve an entire story arc in a campaign because the players hated the (very RP heavy) plot (they had to free a city from a tyrant, but military force wasn't an option). They didn't really get the concept of befriending an NPC instead of killing him, and after banging out mutual heads against the wall for a few sessions, we agreed to cut the arc and have another player DM for a while. After that, I had a very hard time creating anything political in my campaigns, and often stuck to "Go kill those orcs and I'll give you gold." I've gotten better, though, which is a relief.

DMing a game is very, very stressful. It involves a large investment of time and effort, and if it seems like that effort is wasted it can be hard to force yourself to expend it. I'd suggest doing what I did, and just playing for a while. Much less effort, and you can get back in the habit of roleplaying.

jackattack
2011-11-26, 06:21 PM
Step One: Find new roommates.

Step Two: Consider changing your writing style temporarily. Write a couple-few one-offs, short adventures that can be played in an evening. Write an encounter that begins with a melee, with the roleplaying beginning afterward when they have to figure out what just happened.

Step Three: Play a few games. Find a group at the LFGS or on MeetUp. Go to a con. Game with people who actually appreciate roleplaying, without the pressure of being the DM.

tensai_oni
2011-11-26, 06:25 PM
Change nothing, only stop caring what jerks think about you. Also, stop dealing with jerks.

Seriously, your roommates acted like a bunch of twelve year olds, and extremely immature ones to that.

SamBurke
2011-11-26, 06:33 PM
Wow.... what on earth did the expect DnD was ABOUT?

Here's what I'd do, trying to be non-con(frontational): ask them what they expect in a game. What did they think DnD WAS about, and how did you so drastically fail that in their minds?

Alternately, just play video games and find a different, already established, DnD group.

Mono Vertigo
2011-11-26, 07:06 PM
Huh, the only problem I'm seeing there is your players.
They reacted aggressively for no good reason and did not even bother voicing what they thought was the issue.
So before anything else, try finding (relatively) sane players whose... "style" matches yours better. Be a normal player if you're still afraid, but don't forget that you didn't do anything wrong that one time and that you should try again once you feel better about the whole thing.

Savannah
2011-11-26, 07:36 PM
Every DM has bad sessions.

Every DM has horrifically-bad-why-in-the-Nine-Hells-do-I-play-this-game sessions. (Hopefully not many!)

It's not always the DM's fault, mind you (it certainly doesn't seem to have been in your case). Being nervous about DMing after playing with idiots like that is perfectly understandable, but remember that the situation you had is an anomaly and you're not alone in having a bad session.

Maybe see about playing for a while and taking a break from DMing? I find playing often helps my DMing in general, as it helps me see things from the players' perspective, as well as giving me a break from needing to think stuff up.

Alternatively, maybe try writing really short simple adventures (can be completed in a couple of hours or so), as that way if something doesn't go well, it's just for that one session and doesn't ruin a whole campaign.

Thane of Fife
2011-11-26, 10:13 PM
1. This is not your fault. Your roommates put literally no effort into this game. It is the functional equivalent of setting up a game of Monopoly and having all of the players refuse to roll the dice. Of course it's a waste of time, but it isn't the game's fault. It's more like sabotage. Make sure you understand this. It's important.

2. You say that a new group of people has asked you to play? Go for it. Ask them what they want in a game, and think about you enjoy about the game, and run that. If these people actually want to play the game, then they will be willing to invest in it, and that will automatically make it more successful and enjoyable than the roommate fiasco. Alternatively, try looking into some Play-by-Post, either here or elsewhere. Most of the people around here will definitely be into the game, and while PbP tends not to last as long as an actual game, it could still help you regain your confidence.

3. It is entirely reasonable to do any quest-giving off screen. You can start an adventure with "You've searched many months to find the Temple of Shagra, and now you stand before it. It is an intimidating structure, and you briefly wonder if there is anything within worth the risk, but you know that you cannot turn back. To return to town without enough wealth to pay your debts would surely see you locked away in debtors' prison forever." Then you can put some role-playing encounters in the dungeon, and the players can decide how much they want to interact with them.

4. If you are absolutely stuck, you might consider running a published module. Then you don't have to worry so much about how you're going to arrange things, because you won't have to. Looking into some GMless RPGs could also be worth a try.

Rorrik
2011-11-26, 11:02 PM
It's been a long time since I've played any serious DnD, I moved away from the friends who had the books and have been making dungeons and campaign settings out of habit and boredom. I recently started trying to DM games fro my in-laws. It's been a rocky ride, I tried an open-field, zero-rails scenario, but they didn't seem to catch on that time was running while the enemy built up. Their role playing and investigation was weak. I tried another with a clear enemy with similar, stagnant results. Turns out there thing is dungeon crawls and we spent yesterday on an intense, no-end-to-the-laughs, changing dungeon I had made up on cardboard. This time it was eight hours of fun for all of us. Everyone has different styles. Don't be so hard on yourself and don't stifle creativity. A good gaming group grows with time and experience together.

The Reverend
2011-11-26, 11:09 PM
He felt like a moron simply because the situation was pointing out the obvious to him...ie he probably is a moron.

Dont worry you'll get your groove back. Other than that I ditto and me too all the above replies. I sincerely hope you find great role players to save the world with.

Incanus Kindler
2011-11-27, 12:21 AM
Thanks for the suggestions everybody. I feel I need to mention my roommates did apologize for acting like jerks, but the feeling has stuck with me.

My main problem is that I've always known talking in funny voices and in terrible accents was corny, but I've never forced my players to act that way, and in turn they've never (before the aforementioned game) made me feel dorky for doing so. Its just that after that game I can't even attempt to write dialog without realizing how much of a huge dork I'll sound when I say it.

I never cared what other people thought, but that was before they shoved their judgement in my face. Its a personal thing that I'm gonna have to get over, but its still pretty hard.

The dungeon crawl idea is my best bet, but if I run one I know I'll still yearn for a full epic campaign.

Tiki Snakes
2011-11-27, 01:45 AM
Thanks for the suggestions everybody. I feel I need to mention my roommates did apologize for acting like jerks, but the feeling has stuck with me.

My main problem is that I've always known talking in funny voices and in terrible accents was corny, but I've never forced my players to act that way, and in turn they've never (before the aforementioned game) made me feel dorky for doing so. Its just that after that game I can't even attempt to write dialog without realizing how much of a huge dork I'll sound when I say it.

I never cared what other people thought, but that was before they shoved their judgement in my face. Its a personal thing that I'm gonna have to get over, but its still pretty hard.

The dungeon crawl idea is my best bet, but if I run one I know I'll still yearn for a full epic campaign.

Try running some modern setting games for a while? If nothing else, it should sidestep a lot of the funny voices and potentially the dorky-ish dialogue, depending on what you would call dorky dialogue. :smallsmile:

Edog
2011-11-27, 04:01 AM
Ouch. That happens every once in a while, and there isn't very much you can do about it. But don't worry, this one doesn't sound like it was your fault. Just try and put it out of mind, and ease back into the game as a PC for a bit. You'll feel better in a couple of weeks, at most.


My main problem is that I've always known talking in funny voices and in terrible accents was corny, but I've never forced my players to act that way, and in turn they've never (before the aforementioned game) made me feel dorky for doing so. Its just that after that game I can't even attempt to write dialog without realizing how much of a huge dork I'll sound when I say it.

That happened to me once, when my dad overheard a few lines of my dialogue. Like I said before, just put it out of mind. Get into the characters you're playing, with people who won't laugh at you, and the lines will come more easily each time.

FatJose
2011-11-27, 10:20 AM
That you feel you did something wrong makes me think you're leaving something out. There really isn't anything in your story that should make you feel like not role-playing anymore. That one roommate sounds like a jock stereotype from a Revenge of the Nerds movie. Seriously, just don't play with "those" specific people anymore...in anything. Only interact with them when necessary. Your problem wasn't a bad game, it was bad people.

GolemsVoice
2011-11-27, 10:44 AM
That you feel you did something wrong makes me think you're leaving something out. There really isn't anything in your story that should make you feel like not role-playing anymore. That one roommate sounds like a jock stereotype from a Revenge of the Nerds movie. Seriously, just don't play with "those" specific people anymore...in anything. Only interact with them when necessary. Your problem wasn't a bad game, it was bad people.


Totally agree here. If the story truly played out as you presented it, what could you have done? They don't like talking, they don't like fighting. Talking or fighting are basically the two things you can do in ANY RPG.

My advice: don't blame yourself, there's nothing to blame you for. Look for new people to game with, and perhaps take a break from DMing. it would probably be best if you found people already into the hobby.

missmvicious
2011-11-27, 12:31 PM
Ever since then I've been too afraid to roleplay.

:smalleek:

Aww. *Hug*

Don't let that bad experience bring you down. The problem is you were hosting a campaign entirely full of noobs. That can be a special challenge, because the noobs have no role-models for RP and game play to follow. I always have at least one experienced player in campaign to sort of lead, inspire, encourage and educate the noobies. This is especially critical in 3.5 where the rules are expansive and complicated.

However, there are a few good exercises that I've used to help a 1st timer understand the concept of role-playing (tl;dr at the end):

First I explain to them that the spirit of D&D is that it's more like a group storytelling experience rather than a traditional board game. It's not so much DM vs. PC (though there are some campaigns like that, but I won't go into them, and would never do that to a noobie anyway) as DM and Players working together to tell an epic story about the adventures the PCs experience.

Second, I give them the opportunity to play DM for a simple exercise. I sit them down on a chair in the living room and say (here's an actual experience from one of those exercises):

ME: Ok, you're DM, I'm a PC, and this living room is your setting. In an actual game, the setting probably won't be laid out in this level of detail, so you will have to describe to me what I see. Ok... I look around, what do I see?

NOOB: Um... a room?

ME: Mk. What's in the room? Is it well lit or dark?

NOOB: It's well lit? There's a couch and some CDs, DVDs and games on a rack behind you and the front door.

ME: A door you say? I walk over to the door then *actually walk over to the door* and I'm going to try to hear something on the other side. What do I hear? *press my head against the door*

NOOB: Nothing. I think.

ME: Ok. I'm going to feel the door. Is it cold or hot?

NOOB: It's hot!

ME: Uh-oh! There must be a fire on the other side! Ok, I'm going to try to peer through any holes or cracks in the door to see if it's dangerous. What do I see? *look through the spy hole in the front door*

NOOB: You see nothing special.

ME: Hm... maybe it's not a natural fire. Maybe there's some kind of magical enchantment on the door. I'm going to roll a Spellcraft check to see if I can recognize anything... You see? You just created a hook and my first obstacle that I had to interact with and think through in order to attempt to solve. The roll of the dice may or may not determine what happens next, but ultimately, the quality of the gaming experience is a result of cooperative story-telling between DM and Player.

NOOB: Ok. I think I get it!

(That PC became one of my best role-players after that experiment, BTW :smallbiggrin:)

Third, I walk them through the character building process or I have another, experienced PC help them. I ask them tons of questions about their characters background... all fluff, no matter how cheesy it is. I don't care if they say, "I'm the bastard son of a harlot, born to a destiny foretold by a blind seer on a dark and stormy night during an eclipse that I would one day be a great warrior!" I roll with whatever they give me as if it were the most original, non-cliche character idea I'd ever heard. Then I start asking about the name of the town they were born in, their parents names, their childhood friend, what vocation they had before becoming an adventurer and why they left town to adventure in the first place (what specific hook made them leave behind friends and loved ones to embrace a life of homelessness, danger, and almost certain death.)

Fourth, I put them through a very simple skills challenge. Their first session may actually be just a simple hunt. "You're out of food and need to catch something to restock your rations." Hunting is a great way to practice Hide, Move Silently, Spot, Search, Listen, Jump, Climb, Swim, Knowledge, and Survival checks, as well as to teach them to perform both ranged (bow and arrow for the prey) and melee attacks/grapple checks (in case a bear should surprise you while you've got your eye trained on that deer by the river.)

Finally, I set them on a mix adventure. I start them off with an explosive battle to see if combat is more their thing. Then I introduce a plot hook. Then I add an interesting DMPC as a continual hook and mentor to sort of guide the campaign along in case the players get stuck. DMPCs are often considered lazy DM tactics, but honestly, a rookie player needs all the help they can get. The DMPC becomes a friendly face they can ask for advice both in and (strangely) out of game. They won't make up for an experienced PC helping them, but they're way better than nothing.

TL;DR
Buck up kiddo. There is no way you're going to have that kind of experience twice in a row, and an experience like that can teach you a lot about how to handle new players. Be more prepared to hold a new player's hand a lot next time (I'm absolutely not saying this is your fault; obviously they were being jerks) and you may get more positive results. Please don't let that one bad experience ruin another good DM.

Incanus Kindler
2011-11-27, 01:37 PM
I don't feel like I left anything out, other than the awkwardness of the situation before it exploded. In hindsight my players were pretty obviously not comfortable with the idea of roleplaying based on the way they were acting, but I kept prodding them to anyway. So that's why I feel like I may have acted wrongly there. Although their reactions weren't all that respectful.

And I suppose it would be probably nice to mention that this was my first ever time running a game for newbies. I got my start Dungeon Mastering when a group of incredibly experienced gamers all wanted to play but had nobody to run a game. They asked me if I wanted to try and ever since then I've been the "DM."

Thank you everybody for the suggestions and kind words, its making me feel much better about the situation.

Hiro Protagonest
2011-11-27, 03:53 PM
Seriously, your roommates acted like a bunch of twelve year olds, and extremely immature ones to that.

Now that's just rude. To the twelve year olds.

Serpentine
2011-11-28, 06:25 AM
That's bizarre.
Maybe you could try running a Play-by-Post right here on the forums. They tend to die pretty quickly (so don't feel bad if that happens, it's pretty standard), but you can get some pretty experienced players who I'm sure will be happy to critique your performance honestly (and, hopefully, tactfully), to give you a realistic impression on your DMing skills - as opposed to the weird performance you describe here.

Dimers
2011-11-28, 07:22 AM
In all seriousness -- you sound somewhat traumatized, and going to therapy could help you change the way you feel. As for what you do, well, there are a lot of other good suggestions here. A therapist will generally tell you "fake it 'til you make it", meaning that while you're trying (in whatever way) to feel less upset about RPing, you can still do some RPing. You don't need to feel completely healed to get back into the game.

Inkpencil
2011-11-28, 10:03 AM
Have you tried embracing the dorky for a bit? Write up an NPC with nothing but cheesy dialog and the most ridiculous voice ever, figure out why he or she would be in a more serious campaign, and run with it. Good catharsis, I think.

Jay R
2011-11-28, 11:48 AM
Go play a few times. And be kind to the DM.