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View Full Version : Quick observation about The Scorpion King



Avilan the Grey
2012-01-14, 06:29 PM
...It's a much better Conan The Barbarian movie than the new Conan the Barbarian movie.

Hotter women, too.

:smallwink::smallbiggrin:

Ursus the Grim
2012-01-14, 09:23 PM
Which Scorpion King are we talking about? Because I've only seen one and two, but definitely have to agree regardless.

Callos_DeTerran
2012-01-15, 12:37 AM
...It's a much better Conan The Barbarian movie than the new Conan the Barbarian movie.

Hotter women, too.

:smallwink::smallbiggrin:

...How?! How on earth did you come to a conculsion like that? :smallconfused:

MLai
2012-01-15, 12:56 AM
Momoa Conan Vs Rock Scorpion King!!!!!!1

Avilan the Grey
2012-01-15, 05:13 AM
...How?! How on earth did you come to a conculsion like that? :smallconfused:

...By watching the movies? I finally saw the new Conan movie last week, and TSK ran on TV last night... the Scorpion King is not only filled with better actors, and has a better script and better director, it is also funnier and has better fight scenes.

Both movies are about equally historically correct, too... :smalltongue:

Serpentine
2012-01-15, 05:26 AM
The Scorpion King does have a sort of reference to reality, I guess... At least, there really was a "Scorpion King" (who sounds pretty awesome, for all we know basically nothing about him).

Callos_DeTerran
2012-01-15, 11:50 PM
...By watching the movies? I finally saw the new Conan movie last week, and TSK ran on TV last night... the Scorpion King is not only filled with better actors, and has a better script and better director, it is also funnier and has better fight scenes.

Both movies are about equally historically correct, too... :smalltongue:

Better actors, I only count two good actors (Dwayne and...Dammit, I always forget his name), it's script was beyond poor and I don't give a hoot about directors if the movie is bad or good. Was it funnier? Yes. Was that a good thing? For the kind of movie that TSK was, yes. And I'd say the fight scenes were...so-so bordering on decent.

That's all beside the point, I enjoy TSK as the campy action movie that it is. That does not make it a good Conan the Barbarian movie, it doesn't even relate it to Conan the Barbarian at all unless your only exposure to the character is from the two live action movies, and even then TSK doesn't match up well to the very first Conan movie (with James Earl Jones) which was...well...good and still rather Conany. Conan the Barbarian (the new one) is...well...it's probably the most faithful adaptation of the character set to film, fitting both the tone of it's source novels and the genre.

TSK? Not even close.

Traab
2012-01-16, 12:05 AM
Better actors, I only count two good actors (Dwayne and...Dammit, I always forget his name), it's script was beyond poor and I don't give a hoot about directors if the movie is bad or good. Was it funnier? Yes. Was that a good thing? For the kind of movie that TSK was, yes. And I'd say the fight scenes were...so-so bordering on decent.

That's all beside the point, I enjoy TSK as the campy action movie that it is. That does not make it a good Conan the Barbarian movie, it doesn't even relate it to Conan the Barbarian at all unless your only exposure to the character is from the two live action movies, and even then TSK doesn't match up well to the very first Conan movie (with James Earl Jones) which was...well...good and still rather Conany. Conan the Barbarian (the new one) is...well...it's probably the most faithful adaptation of the character set to film, fitting both the tone of it's source novels and the genre.

TSK? Not even close.

I think one of the coolest fight scenes was in the cave during the sandstorm. That was a really badass scene overall. Oh, and Kelly Hu is a freaking goddess.

*EDIT* Didnt tsk have a call back to conan with punching out a camel or something?I know he rode one, but I cant recall if he ever cold cocked one in the jaw like arnold did.

Callos_DeTerran
2012-01-16, 12:31 AM
I think one of the coolest fight scenes was in the cave during the sandstorm. That was a really badass scene overall. Oh, and Kelly Hu is a freaking goddess.

*EDIT* Didnt tsk have a call back to conan with punching out a camel or something?I know he rode one, but I cant recall if he ever cold cocked one in the jaw like arnold did.

Ehh...debatable on Kelly Hu, if you mean physical attractiveness. Cause I can't comment on her acting cause the only thing I've seen her in (and knew it) was TSK.

Hmmm...I'm...not sure. TSK didn't have a camel punching scene, but I'd wager it had a Conan callback somewhere in it.

Avilan the Grey
2012-01-16, 02:30 AM
Better actors, I only count two good actors (Dwayne and...Dammit, I always forget his name), it's script was beyond poor and I don't give a hoot about directors if the movie is bad or good. Was it funnier? Yes. Was that a good thing? For the kind of movie that TSK was, yes. And I'd say the fight scenes were...so-so bordering on decent.

That's all beside the point, I enjoy TSK as the campy action movie that it is. That does not make it a good Conan the Barbarian movie, it doesn't even relate it to Conan the Barbarian at all unless your only exposure to the character is from the two live action movies, and even then TSK doesn't match up well to the very first Conan movie (with James Earl Jones) which was...well...good and still rather Conany. Conan the Barbarian (the new one) is...well...it's probably the most faithful adaptation of the character set to film, fitting both the tone of it's source novels and the genre.

TSK? Not even close.

Kelly Hu IS a goddess, period. And wearing that Ultimate Fanservice "dress"... Wow.

I have read the original stories, several times, and the new Conan movie is in no way closer to those than the original two Conan movies. TVTropes puts it best: "A New movie was released in 2011 that was supposed to be closer to the original stories. It Wasn't."

TSK is at least as close to the original stories as the Conan movies with the exception of the names of things (He is an Akkadian, not a Chimerian, he just looks the same). The ONLY thing missing is the Lovecraftian Horror Monster, and unlike in the stories it didn't add to the story in the new Conan movie.

As for acting and script... You cannot seriously say that either of the three Conan movies made to date has in ANY WAY a better script?

Tiki Snakes
2012-01-16, 02:38 AM
None with a better script? The original wasn't that bad, I thought. You've got to give it serious props for Thulsa Doom if nothing else.

Otherwise, yeah, I suspect the Scorpion King beats out the rest of them at least in most ways.

Avilan the Grey
2012-01-16, 02:44 AM
None with a better script? The original wasn't that bad, I thought. You've got to give it serious props for Thulsa Doom if nothing else.

Otherwise, yeah, I suspect the Scorpion King beats out the rest of them at least in most ways.

Oh I was entertained by all of them, including the Absolutely-Not-A-Conan-Movie Red Sonja. But I would not call any of them "well written". Or well acted, for that matter.

Maybe that's why I prefer TSK; it doesn't take itself all that seriously, which automatically makes it less campy. Basically if a person in the new Conan movie starts chewing on the scenery it annoys me, but if someone in TSK does it it adds to the fun.

Killer Angel
2012-01-16, 04:39 AM
Maybe that's why I prefer TSK; it doesn't take itself all that seriously, which automatically makes it less campy.

I cannot disagree on this, I've got the same attitude.
And yes, TSK was intended to be funny... from this point, TSK is effectively good.

MLai
2012-01-16, 05:21 AM
But I would not call any of them "well written". Or well acted, for that matter..
Well, except for James Earl Jones, ofc.

Serpentine
2012-01-16, 12:16 PM
Personally, I find this discussion to reflect more on the apparently abysmal quality of the Conan movies, than the supposed good quality of The Scorpion King...

Avilan the Grey
2012-01-16, 01:02 PM
Personally, I find this discussion to reflect more on the apparently abysmal quality of the Conan movies, than the supposed good quality of The Scorpion King...

And your point is? :smallbiggrin:

Callos_DeTerran
2012-01-16, 02:26 PM
Personally, I find this discussion to reflect more on the apparently abysmal quality of the Conan movies, than the supposed good quality of The Scorpion King...

The first Conan movie (with James Earl Jones) and the most recent one were good movies, I enjoy watching both and I'll happily watch both of them repeatedly. The second is...well...it's entertaining, but I don't really consider it a Conan movie since you could take Arnold/Conan out of it and the movie would be the same.


Kelly Hu IS a goddess, period. And wearing that Ultimate Fanservice "dress"... Wow.

I have read the original stories, several times, and the new Conan movie is in no way closer to those than the original two Conan movies. TVTropes puts it best: "A New movie was released in 2011 that was supposed to be closer to the original stories. It Wasn't."

TSK is at least as close to the original stories as the Conan movies with the exception of the names of things (He is an Akkadian, not a Chimerian, he just looks the same). The ONLY thing missing is the Lovecraftian Horror Monster, and unlike in the stories it didn't add to the story in the new Conan movie.

As for acting and script... You cannot seriously say that either of the three Conan movies made to date has in ANY WAY a better script?

Opinion on Kelly Hu is just that, opinion. I personally don't find her THAT attractive, but you do. Good for you! :smallwink:

No Conan movie will be closer to the original stories in content without massive amounts of padding, unless it's a movie about Hour of the Dragon which was the only book-length Conan story actually written by Robert E. Howard because all of the original Conan stories are short-stories that usually just handle the events of a couple of nights, maybe throw in some weeks of travel that aren't given any attention to get between them.

That's not what I'm referring to though, and I think TvTropes is wrong on this one, what I'm referring to is how close the movies come to the tone, feel, and aesthetic of the books which the new movie did very well and the first did as well.

The Scorpion King? Didn't. At all. Unless your referring to the myriad of books written by other authors which varied wildly both in content and in quality. In that case, yes, I'm sure one or two of them would make it seem like the Scorpion King was a 'Conan the Barbarian Movie', but that's saying very very little.

No brains
2012-01-16, 06:43 PM
Better actors, I only count two good actors (Dwayne and...Dammit, I always forget his name)

His name is Michael Clarke Duncan! Remember his name! If you can tell him his name he will give you $5! Or so the legend (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0003817/bio#trivia)goes...

TheThan
2012-01-16, 11:16 PM
Both movies are sword and sorcery. I love sword and sorcery, and I'm happy that they exist. heck I don't even care how accurate they are.

pffh
2012-01-17, 03:25 AM
Both movies are sword and sorcery. I love sword and sorcery, and I'm happy that they exist. heck I don't even care how accurate they are.

Indeed we need more sword and sorcery movies.

Avilan the Grey
2012-01-17, 04:45 AM
Indeed we need more sword and sorcery movies.

Technically it is two genres: Sword and Sorcery, and Sword and Sandal. :smallbiggrin:

Also, I think I have a problem with the Conan movies because the level of Ham. I think that is a common problem nowadays, for a lot of people. What works in print just seems so... stupid as actual dialog.