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Karoht
2012-02-09, 03:16 PM
So, hypothetical question.
You've somehow scored a weekend with Batman. No Bruce Wayne, no secret identities, your identity is protected from the crooks. Just Batman.

How thrilling do you think a weekend with Batman would be for you?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being a yawn and a 10 being the most awesome and thrilling experience of your life. An 11 being that even other events that rank at a 10 from this point forth will be boring and drab by all comparison.

How involved do you get?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being that you wait in the car and a 10 being that you basically become his fully fledged sidekick for the weekend, only with a cooler outfit than any of his other sidekicks, and superior dialogue as well. An 11 being that you are so into it, you get your own spinoff comic next week.

What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?
Take the Batmobile drag racing? Sit in Starbucks in costume? Do some mythbusting, Batman style? Buzz the air traffic control towers with the Batjet? Go to a park and just throw the ole Batarang's around? Do a photoshoot of you and Bats posing pensively on some building tops and ledges?

Matthias2207
2012-02-09, 03:29 PM
How thrilling do you think a weekend with Batman would be for you?

I don't know... Batman has really awesome gadgets and stuff, but I don't like the idea of being a man-made hero. Every rich kid can be Batman (or Iron Man, for that matter), being Spider-Man, for example, is something... Like true love, money can't buy it. And he is too invincible, I think it would be pretty boring.

How involved do you get?

O, I would be involved... Very involved indeed...:smallamused:
My plan for the weekend would be:
Meet Batman
Sneak attack Batman
Steal Bat gadgets
Sell bat gadgets
Buy cookies/quality children's construction toy/games

What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?

Super villain activities!

Candle Jack
2012-02-09, 03:38 PM
Which Batman are we talking about here? Frank Miller's Batman? Arkham Asylum/Arkham City Batman? Batman: The Animated Series Batman? Adam West Batman? Christopher Nolan's Batman?

No matter. I think Batman's reaction to having an inexperienced civilian partner tag along as he fights crime would be "Sit in the car, shut up and don't touch anything. Or I'll break one of your fingers." Which would be as exciting as a bag of dead cats.

I put the experience at a 1.

Karoht
2012-02-09, 03:47 PM
Which Batman are we talking about here? Frank Miller's Batman? Arkham Asylum/Arkham City Batman? Batman: The Animated Series Batman? Adam West Batman? Christopher Nolan's Batman?

No matter. I think Batman's reaction to having an inexperienced civilian partner tag along as he fights crime would be "Sit in the car, shut up and don't touch anything. Or I'll break one of your fingers." Which would be as exciting as a bag of dead cats.

I put the experience at a 1.

You're choice of Batman, and you're choice of level of involvement, not his. Assume for all intents and purposes that you are as good or better than Robin for the duration of this weekend due to [insert mcguffin of choice]. Yes, you are still vulnerable as Robin, you just happen to be as useful or better, enough to keep up with Batman.

And sitting in the Batmobile and watching while Batman beats up a crook would still be pretty awesome IMO.
And if he left you in the car, I'm sure he's say something like "If you end up in trouble somehow, press this button. If I look like I'm in trouble, press this other button. Don't touch the radio dial, do not mess with my smooth jazz."

I figure it would be as good as a ridealong with a cop, or better, due to Batman actually going to solve problems, rather than the cop ridealongs who avoid anything remotely interesting.

Matthias2207
2012-02-09, 03:49 PM
No matter. I think Batman's reaction to having an inexperienced civilian partner tag along as he fights crime would be "Sit in the car, shut up and don't touch anything. Or I'll break one of your fingers."
Your Batman is mean...:smallfrown:


Which would be as exciting as a bag of dead cats.
:smallbiggrin: I always order those at Kentucky Fried Cat! Although a bucket is easier to carry...

HFool
2012-02-09, 04:00 PM
Can I hang out with Bruce Wayne instead, or is it just Batman?

Karoht
2012-02-09, 04:06 PM
Can I hang out with Bruce Wayne instead, or is it just Batman?
Well, it is your Batman, so if you want, sure? The preface at the top was just to point out that you aren't obligated to deal with Bruce Wayne type issues.

Prime32
2012-02-09, 04:28 PM
What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?
Take the Batmobile drag racing? Sit in Starbucks in costume? Do some mythbusting, Batman style? Buzz the air traffic control towers with the Batjet? Go to a park and just throw the ole Batarang's around? Do a photoshoot of you and Bats posing pensively on some building tops and ledges?I doubt Batman would approve of that. Well, maybe 60s Batman. But otherwise he tends to be very devoted to staying mysterious and scary (since his reputation does half the work of crimefighting for him).

Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, is devoted to looking irresponsible, so you could probably get up to all kinds of craziness (with little risk, since Batman will coincidentally show up to save you :smalltongue:).

DiscipleofBob
2012-02-09, 04:37 PM
The only way I can see this bearing any fruit is if it was Batman the Brave and the Bold, and only because 1) anyone in that series within a certain radius of Batman has a 67% chance to develop superpowers, and 2) even if you don't get superpowers, the chance to punch out some mooks in a one-frame "BAM!" panel will still probably present itself.

Dienekes
2012-02-09, 04:53 PM
I don't know... Batman has really awesome gadgets and stuff, but I don't like the idea of being a man-made hero. Every rich kid can be Batman (or Iron Man, for that matter), being Spider-Man, for example, is something... Like true love, money can't buy it. And he is too invincible, I think it would be pretty boring.

Every rich kid is an engineering genius, or has the mental discipline to train as hard as Bruce? I sincerely doubt it. Being Spider-Man is just about being bit by a radioactive spider, not anything special about Parker just in the right place at the right time. About the same kind of luck as being born with rich parents.

In any case, I live a very boring life. Just meeting Batman, or Superman, or Spiderman would probably rate as the most interesting thing that ever will happen to me. Spending a day with him would be the full on 10.

Now I'd want to get involved, but I doubt I would be allowed to. I have no detective training, a smattering of martial arts training that I've mostly forgotten, and muscles I've lost and replaced with a nice layer of fat. I'd probably be locked in the car and warned not to touch anything.

Not sure if it counts as superheroing, but over the course of this weekend I would be most interested in having conversations with all the villains that get taken in.

Copper
2012-02-09, 04:54 PM
How thrilling do you think a weekend with Batman would be for you?
Um, 11. He's the Goddamned Batman! Not only would I be proven right about his existance I would be hanging out with Batman! I would brag about that moment for the rest of my life!

How involved do you get?
Hmm. Well I feel like I'd want to help, but would just end up getting in the way all the time. However, I could be the one who keeps him grounded and makes snarky comments and maybe beats a mook witha crowbar at one point, so... 4?

What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?
I feel like just talking to Batman. Just all the time, delving into his inner psyche, playing therapist for the day, seeing what really makes him Batman. Oh and playing with all his cool gadgets. Squee!!

Karoht
2012-02-09, 05:49 PM
I doubt Batman would approve of that. Well, maybe 60s Batman. But otherwise he tends to be very devoted to staying mysterious and scary (since his reputation does half the work of crimefighting for him).

Bruce Wayne, on the other hand, is devoted to looking irresponsible, so you could probably get up to all kinds of craziness (with little risk, since Batman will coincidentally show up to save you :smalltongue:).
Just assume that if Batman would likely not approve, it's while he's not looking.

An Enemy Spy
2012-02-09, 07:41 PM
And sitting in the Batmobile and watching while Batman beats up a crook would still be pretty awesome IMO.
And if he left you in the car, I'm sure he's say something like "If you end up in trouble somehow, press this button. If I look like I'm in trouble, press this other button. Don't touch the radio dial, do not mess with my smooth jazz."


"Don't turn on the rock station. God help you if you turn on the rock station!"
*beat*
"I'm Batman..."

the humanity
2012-02-10, 12:51 AM
9. being a sidekick will be the most thrilling thing ever, but a first child and becoming an eagle scout are far more awesome in my mind.

10. if I am useful, I will be in the fray. preferably with a sword of some kind.

I also plan to argue with the Batman while beating on mooks together.

darthbobcat
2012-02-10, 01:00 AM
So, hypothetical question.
You've somehow scored a weekend with Batman. No Bruce Wayne, no secret identities, your identity is protected from the crooks. Just Batman.

How thrilling do you think a weekend with Batman would be for you?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being a yawn and a 10 being the most awesome and thrilling experience of your life. An 11 being that even other events that rank at a 10 from this point forth will be boring and drab by all comparison.

How involved do you get?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being that you wait in the car and a 10 being that you basically become his fully fledged sidekick for the weekend, only with a cooler outfit than any of his other sidekicks, and superior dialogue as well. An 11 being that you are so into it, you get your own spinoff comic next week.

What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?
Take the Batmobile drag racing? Sit in Starbucks in costume? Do some mythbusting, Batman style? Buzz the air traffic control towers with the Batjet? Go to a park and just throw the ole Batarang's around? Do a photoshoot of you and Bats posing pensively on some building tops and ledges?

How Thrilling?

Batman is often presented as very stiff and unapproachable. If it was just about any version except the Adam West Batman, I'd be feeling really apprehensive. 4-6.

How Involved?

I'd say 4. I'd want a tour of Gotham, but I wouldn't want to be along for crime fighting. I'm a scardey cat at heart.

Non Crime Fighting Activity?

I'd throw a big party at Wayne Manor.

Vilyathas
2012-02-10, 02:13 AM
How thrilling do you think a weekend with Batman would be for you?
Neither, but I'd rate it a 7 for the most terrifying experience in my life. Knowing Bats, he'd probably do a lot of background research on me, and will bring up things I'd never told anyone before, just to mess with me.

How involved do you get?
1. I probably won't get so much as a "stay in the car" as a "get a whiff of knockout gas" and wake up the next day.

What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?
Best way I can enjoy myself is probably hang out with Alfred and dig up Bats' little secrets :smalltongue:. Plus, following the laws of plot, that'll be the one day where Bats is captured and needs an outsider to help him escape. If so... to the Batcave!!

MLai
2012-02-10, 05:03 AM
Well, it is your Batman, so if you want, sure? The preface at the top was just to point out that you aren't obligated to deal with Bruce Wayne type issues.
http://www.nostalgiarush.org/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/bruce-wayne.jpg
I would like to deal with Bruce Wayne type issues, pretty please.

Aotrs Commander
2012-02-10, 07:25 AM
Letsee... Lawful Evil epic Lich necromancer + Batman...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'd get along like a house on fire, e.g. lots of people running around and screaming...

Adam West Batman/Silver Age Batman might be a jolly good laugh though.

On the whole, though, I'd rather spend a day with Spider-Man or Wolverine or Emma Frost or something, as at leats they have a sense of humour (maybe (Wally West) Flash or Raven or Starfire if confined to DCU)...

Or best of all Jubilee.

(Though that last would be incredibly awkward for all concerned, as I'm pretty sure Jubes would be put off by a Lich fangirling her (especially given it's a male Lich); and if it was in her current Vampire state, I'd be torn between fangirling and grabbing the nearest stake...)

darthbobcat
2012-02-10, 11:02 AM
Letsee... Lawful Evil epic Lich necromancer + Batman...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we'd get along like a house on fire, e.g. lots of people running around and screaming...

Adam West Batman/Silver Age Batman might be a jolly good laugh though.

On the whole, though, I'd rather spend a day with Spider-Man or Wolverine or Emma Frost or something, as at leats they have a sense of humour (maybe (Wally West) Flash or Raven or Starfire if confined to DCU)...

Or best of all Jubilee.

(Though that last would be incredibly awkward for all concerned, as I'm pretty sure Jubes would be put off by a Lich fangirling her (especially given it's a male Lich); and if it was in her current Vampire state, I'd be torn between fangirling and grabbing the nearest stake...)

Oh Lord, is she STILL a vampire?

Aotrs Commander
2012-02-10, 01:33 PM
Oh Lord, is she STILL a vampire?

Yes. Yes, she is.

The only "bright" side is that she's now featuting as one of the line ups, and looks to be central to a new story arc. Kinda.

But yeah. Still not best pleased...

Tyndmyr
2012-02-10, 02:32 PM
So, hypothetical question.
You've somehow scored a weekend with Batman. No Bruce Wayne, no secret identities, your identity is protected from the crooks. Just Batman.

How thrilling do you think a weekend with Batman would be for you?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being a yawn and a 10 being the most awesome and thrilling experience of your life. An 11 being that even other events that rank at a 10 from this point forth will be boring and drab by all comparison.

5. I've done some pretty awesome and crazy stuff.

[qote]How involved do you get?
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being that you wait in the car and a 10 being that you basically become his fully fledged sidekick for the weekend, only with a cooler outfit than any of his other sidekicks, and superior dialogue as well. An 11 being that you are so into it, you get your own spinoff comic next week.[/quote]

10 or 11. Seriously, cooler outfit and dialogue than say, Robin? Easily done.


What non-superhero activity would you want to do more than anything?
Take the Batmobile drag racing? Sit in Starbucks in costume? Do some mythbusting, Batman style? Buzz the air traffic control towers with the Batjet? Go to a park and just throw the ole Batarang's around? Do a photoshoot of you and Bats posing pensively on some building tops and ledges?

Playing "Who can spend a billion dollars to best insult superman".

Karoht
2012-02-10, 04:33 PM
Playing "Who can spend a billion dollars to best insult superman".
Wow. You just won the thread. Incidentally, how would you spend 1 billion dollars to best insult superman, and what do you think your odds are that you would do better at this than Batman?

Venom3053000
2012-02-10, 04:47 PM
"Don't turn on the rock station. God help you if you turn on the rock station!"
*beat*
"I'm Batman..."

rock is nothing but death. And crime. And the rage of a beast

:smallbiggrin:

Karoht
2012-02-10, 04:59 PM
rock is nothing but death. And crime. And the rage of a beast

:smallbiggrin:
Crank up the smooooooth jazz!

tyckspoon
2012-02-11, 03:33 AM
Wow. You just won the thread. Incidentally, how would you spend 1 billion dollars to best insult superman, and what do you think your odds are that you would do better at this than Batman?

I have no idea what the message would be- it'd depend a lot on exactly the kind of insult you wanted to deliver, and I wouldn't really expect to have a chance at competing with Bats in pushing Supes' buttons- but I'd start by buying out every single possible advertising outlet in Metropolis for a certain day/hour/whatever time frame is feasible. Magazines, bus ads, benches, tv, radio, blimps, everything- the entire city will be delivering this message to Superman.

ThePhantasm
2012-02-11, 06:22 AM
This thread is kinda a paradox. I mean, I love Batman, but he is kinda a loner and not much of one to hang out with. Even though Batman is my favorite superhero, I'd probably rather hang out with Superman.

MLai
2012-02-11, 06:58 AM
I'd start by buying out every single possible advertising outlet in Metropolis for a certain day/hour/whatever time frame is feasible. Magazines, bus ads, benches, tv, radio, blimps, everything- the entire city will be delivering this message to Superman.
This sounds kinda... supervillainy.

Ravens_cry
2012-02-11, 09:44 AM
This thread is kinda a paradox. I mean, I love Batman, but he is kinda a loner and not much of one to hang out with. Even though Batman is my favorite superhero, I'd probably rather hang out with Superman.
Yeah, a Super-internship with Batsy would be . . .surprisingly dull.
What does he seem to do most of the time?
Scouting out the city from tall vantage points while brooding.
Silently.
Perhaps staring through binoculars with an inner monologue that would put Sam Spade to shame.
But, unless you're telepathic, silently.
And it's likely raining, Gotham gets more rain than Seattle
Also, as pointed out, the mans a loner.
He doesn't get along well with other superheroes, let alone The Bubbly Fan Boy.
It would be . . .awkward.

Traab
2012-02-11, 09:58 AM
Wow. You just won the thread. Incidentally, how would you spend 1 billion dollars to best insult superman, and what do you think your odds are that you would do better at this than Batman?

If I had a billion dollars id basically do everything in this (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6438802/38/A_Spark_of_Genius) chapter of A Spark Of Genius. Basically, its a week of insane pranks, many of which ruin supermans rep in various ways. The story is the most awesome Girl Genius/BTVS/DC universe crossover ever!

Dr.Epic
2012-02-11, 01:31 PM
Which Batman?

Adam West?
Michael Keaton?
Val Kilmer?
George Clooney?
Christian Bale?

tyckspoon
2012-02-11, 01:37 PM
This sounds kinda... supervillainy.

You're spending a billion dollars for the sole purpose of annoying Superman. Yeah, this is basically something Lex Luthor would do when he's not engaged in actual supervillainy.

Karoht
2012-02-11, 02:28 PM
Which Batman?

Adam West?
Michael Keaton?
Val Kilmer?
George Clooney?
Christian Bale?
I've said this repeatedly, but it's your pick of whichever Batman from whichever continuity.

Venom3053000
2012-02-11, 03:17 PM
which ever one has the highest chance of giving superpowers during your time together of course :smallbiggrin:

Bastian Weaver
2012-02-11, 08:16 PM
That would be Terry McGinnis. I'd say it would rate 8 out of 10 about excitement, and we'd probably discuss some of his adventures... and Dana. And Melanie. And the Old Man.
Oh yeah. That would be fun.

Archpaladin Zousha
2012-02-12, 01:34 PM
I'm pretty sure if I spent a weekend with Batman I'd be traumatized for life. Sure, I may be protected from the super villains, but I'd still be witnessing their heinous acts and that'd be pretty friggin' scary. I get freaked out by depictions of Joker Venom on the shows and movies, I imagine if I saw it happen for real in front of me I'd pee myself in terror.

Forum Explorer
2012-02-12, 07:21 PM
Likely it would start at a 4 jump to an 10 then go to 1. (I'll explain)

Around a 4 then it drops to a -11.

Basically I would initially just be playing around testing gadgets and helping as a support character. However I would inevitably either suffer a tragic accident or find some evil Mcguffin and go full out supervillian. Which would be a lot of fun for a while. Then Batman eventually beats me up and I get sent to AA where I'm rooming with the Penguin, and that's no fun at all.

Karoht
2012-02-13, 11:41 AM
I had my opinion of a Weekend with Batman all filled out and ready, then the forum post demons ate it.
Here's my reply, far more brief.

The Animated Series Batman
8
8
Cooking contest in the Batcave. We can only use impliments in the Batcave to make something. Best Dish wins. Bats has the home advantage because he knows what all his gizmo's are and how they work, but likely doesn't know how to cook anything worth eating in the first place.

@Insulting Superman
Send transmitters around the world that go off randomly, with a message on an ultrasonic frequency that Superman is likely to be able to hear, but no one else. Upon plotting out all the locations of the transmitters on a map, it spells out one word.
"Sucker."
But I can do that for much less than a billion dollars.

Psyren
2012-02-13, 12:12 PM
I'd have him take me to the JLA to meet the more interesting heroes.

That, or make him teach me kung-fu in one weekend. If anyone could figure out a way to do that it would be Batman.

Prime32
2012-02-13, 12:27 PM
Batman [...] likely doesn't know how to cook anything worth eating in the first place.Preposterous. Batman knows how to do everything. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZj6AC7jAO4) :smalltongue:

Karoht
2012-02-13, 12:38 PM
Preposterous. Batman knows how to do everything. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZj6AC7jAO4) :smalltongue:
Curses. Oh well, it would still be interesting to see what he cooked and how he did it, with gizmo's only found in the Batcave.
Assuming he didn't find a loophole in that logic of course.

An Enemy Spy
2012-02-13, 12:40 PM
Preposterous. Batman knows how to do everything. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZj6AC7jAO4) :smalltongue:

That was frigging amazing! Someone will have to explain the context to me though.

Candle Jack
2012-02-13, 08:03 PM
That was frigging amazing! Someone will have to explain the context to me though.

It's from the series Justice League. Wonder Woman was turned into a pig by the sorceress Circe as revenge against WW's mother, Hippolyta, who imprisoned Circe in the pits of Tartarus. Batman tracks down Circe with the help of Zatanna and bargains with Circe to restore Wonder Woman to her normal self. Since Circe is a music-lover well, you know how it goes.

It should be noted that this whole episode was basically an Excuse Plot (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExcusePlot) on the part of the producers so they could get Batman's VA, Kevin Conroy, to sing.

To build upon my earlier point, this is what I imagine a night out with Batman would be (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IJi_Vj4_-k&feature=related).

Tyndmyr
2012-02-14, 10:43 AM
Wow. You just won the thread. Incidentally, how would you spend 1 billion dollars to best insult superman, and what do you think your odds are that you would do better at this than Batman?

Publicize the pics of when Supes had a mullet.

Odds that I'm better at ANYTHING than Batman are...slim. Possibly my archery. Possibly. And that doesn't translate well to pranking. Batman probably already has the pics stored safely in offsite storage.