View Full Version : April Fool's Monsters [3.5]

2012-04-01, 09:41 AM
Here is today's first April Fool's Monster. The Skeletal Clown is open content from The Book of Oafish Might pgs 21-22, published by Silverthorne Games. Enjoy!

Medium Undead
Hit Dice: 2d12 (13 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+3 natural, +1 extremely large pants), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+2
Attack: Umbrella +2 melee (1d4+1/19-20, special)
Full Attack: Umbrella +2 melee (1d4+1/19-20, special)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Handshake, laugh!, special umbrella critical, squirt
Special Qualities: Damage reduction 5/bludgeoning, darkvision 60 ft., extremely large shoes, immune to cold, umbrella float, undead traits
Saves: Fort +0, Ref +0, Will +2
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 11, Con -, Int 12, Wis 9, Cha 13
Skills: Listen +6, Move Silently +2, Perform (comedy) +2*, Profession (clown) +4, Sleight of Hand +3, Spot +6
Feats: Alertness
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or pair
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually neutral evil
Advancement: 3-4 HD (large)
Level Adjustment: -

Sometimes a skeleton is created from the remains of a person who desperately wanted to be a clown in life. Such skeletons have a mind of their own. They escape their master and become skeletal clowns. These creatures are frustrated because they are unable to be good clowns. This makes them vicious beings.

A skeletal clown looks like a skeleton created from a Medium-sized humanoid. It wears very large shoes, a pair of extremely wide pants with suspenders, and a bowler hat with a flower. It also carries a special umbrella with it.


When first encountered, a skeletal clown will usually try to make people laugh. If it fails (which happens most of the time), the creature starts attacking its spectator(s).

Handshake (Ex): A skeletal clown can attempt to shake the hand of an opponent. This is a standard action that doesn’t provoke attacks of opportunity. Only opponents with at least one free hand can be targets of such this attack. A skeletal clown gets a –4 penalty on the attack because it must hit the hand of the foe. This leaves a touch attack at –2 melee, which deals 2d6 electrical damage on a hit (a skeletal clown cannot score a critical hit with this attack).

Laugh! (Su): Three times per day, a skeletal clown can afflict a subject with uncontrollable laughter. This is a spell-like ability, similar to a hideous laughter (DC 13). Caster level 4th. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Special Umbrella Critical (Ex): A skeletal clown that scores a critical with its umbrella doesn’t deal extra damage, but a dose of sneezing power is released from the tip of the umbrella. This causes the subject to sneeze for one round, acting as if he was dazed (see the DMG). Creatures without olfactory senses are immune to this effect.

Squirt (Ex): Three times per day a skeletal clown can squirt a 15 foot cone of acid from the flower on its bowler hat. This is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity. The attack deals 2d4 damage (Reflex save DC 13 for half damage). Once used, a skeletal clown can’t use this ability again for 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Charisma-based, and includes a +1 racial modifier.

Extremely Large Shoes (Ex): Due to these shoes, a skeletal clown moves only three times its speed when running.

Umbrella Float (Su): As a free action, a skeletal clown can use its umbrella to float down when falling or jumping from high ground. This ability is similar to a feather fall spell with a personal range. Caster level is 4th.

Skills: *A skeletal clown receive a –4 racial modifier to Perform checks.

2012-04-02, 09:24 AM
Here is one I edited but the original idea came from Thugorp and Drawingfreak:

Cadbury Rabbit
Diminutive Magical Beast (Extraplanar)
Hit Dice: 1d10+1 (6 hp)
Speed: 10 ft. (2 squares)
Initiative: +2
Armor Class: 16 (+4 size, +2 Dex), touch 16, flat-footed 14
BAB/Grapple: +1/-16
Attack: Claw +3 melee (1)
Full Attack: 2 claws +3 melee (1) and bite -2 melee (1d3-5 plus 1 bucktooth)
Space/Reach: 1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Bucktooth, Pounce, Rake (1d4-5)
Special Qualities: Candy Egg Laying, Darkvision 60 ft., Low-light vision
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +2, Will -4
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 3, Cha 14
Skills: Jump -1 (+3 to Jump check made after a running start), Survival +4 (natural habitat only)
Feats: Run, weapon finesseB
Environment: Elemental Plane of Candy
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Family (2 adults + 2-8 babies)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: see Candy Egg Laying
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 2-4 HD (Diminutive), 5-8 (Tiny)
Level Adjustment: —

Cadbury rabbits are always white in color, cluck like chickens, and lay eggs. This is often an unexpected and unusual surprise for those not native to the Elemental Plane of Candy.

Adult Cadbury rabbits are about 10 inches long and weigh about 4 lbs. They live about 8 years long but are not suited to living in captivity.


Cadbury rabbits only attack when they or their young are threatened. They are generally peaceful but have quick tempers and do not get along with other familiars.

Bucktooth (Ex): Cadbury rabbits deal an extra point of damage to their bite attack due to their over-sized incisors.

Candy Egg Laying (Su): Female Cadbury rabbits lay eggs as chickens do, except that their eggs have a hard chocolate shell, and the yoke inside is a delicious creamy confection. These eggs are completely edible (except when they are fertilized), and are quite delicious. A female Cadbury Rabbit can be expected to lay 1d3 eggs per day. Female Cadbury rabbits will usually lay one final candy egg just before she dies provided she has time.

These eggs are prized as rare delicacies by the upper classes on the various planes, where Cadbury bunnies are not common. The average market price for one of these eggs is around 5 gp.

Pounce (Ex): When a Cadbury rabbit makes a charge, it can follow with a full attack—including rake attacks. However, a Cadbury rabbit may not use its bite as part of a pounce attack.

Rake (Ex): A Cadbury rabbit that pounces onto a creature can make 2 rake attacks with its hind legs. The attack is at +3 melee and does 1d4-5 points of damage.

Skills: Rabbits have a +8 racial bonus to Survive in their natural habitat. If you have the Run feat, you get a +4 bonus on Jump checks for any jumps made after a running start.

Cadbury Rabbits As Familiars

Cadbury Rabbits can be taken as familiars by casters, or manifesters who take Improved Familiar Feat.

They grant their master a 5-foot bonus to base land speed for a Small or Medium master and a 10-foot bonus to base land speed for a Large or larger master.

2012-04-02, 06:21 PM
As a British person, i thought you meant the real Cadbury Bunny for a minute...the pooping eggs thing will always make me feel NSFW

This (http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/cr/ff/30724-episode-53-caramel-bunny) explains it better than i could with YouTube...sorry about the ads. Any chance of you making HER?:smallamused:

2012-04-02, 10:03 PM
Anthropomorphic rabbits are pretty much a mainstay in cartoon games. Other rabbits that fit that category are the Trix Rabbit, the Nesquick rabbit, Bugs Bunny, Roger Rabbit, Usogi Yojimbo and there are probably others. I know there is an anthropomorphic template in Savage Species so it might just be a matter of applying the template to the rabbit and then adding a class as needed or unique special abilities.

Here's an example: Zara Bunnygirl Barbarian.


P.S. I agree that male Cadbury rabbits should not lay eggs so I made sure mine were all female. It's like the boy cows from Barnyard (like the audience wouldn't figure out they were cattle if they didn't have udders). Sometimes, animators take too much creative license.

2012-04-02, 10:07 PM
Is the Cadbury rabbit familiar's granted power a bonus of some kind (an enhancement bonus?) or does it actually change the speed to 10 ft. (2 squares)?

2012-04-02, 10:12 PM
They grant their master a +5 (+10) feet base speed. It's an untyped bonus. That's what the "+" is for.


2012-04-03, 04:27 AM
Wait, is it +5 or +10?

2012-04-03, 08:37 AM
I figured it was +5 to Small and Medium casters and +10 to Large casters but I'll have to go over my notes again. The original post had it that way and I didn't think anything else at the time. I will edit my above post to make it clearer.