Let's Make As Many Heroic Monster NPCs As We Can Think Up [Archive]

tbok1992

2012-10-12, 10:09 AM

This is exactly what it sounds like, a thread in the vein of of "1001 Ways To Introduce A Character In The Middle of a Dungeon (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=251236)", except for about good versions of normally evil monsters you can introduce into your campaign, and replacing that artificial limit with "As many as we can think up."

I'll start:

1. A F-to-M transgender Drow Sorcerer chased out of Drow society because of both Drow society considering it an abomination for a woman wanting to be a "lesser" man and the fact that a few of the nobles thought her/his sorcerous powers posed a threat to their status. He/she is currently questing for a Belt of Permanent Gender Change, and has a host of psychological issues due to Drow society's aforementioned screwed-up attitudes towards gender.

2. A peaceable and intellectual Gnoll (treated as insane by the rest of his tribe) who fell in love with a human slave. Said slave returned his affections and they both eventually escaped just as the Gnoll tribe was about to kill the good gnoll for funzies. They currently roam the countryside as an adventuring pair.

3. A doppelganger with a friendship with a city-state's lower class, who uses its shapeshifting abilities to infiltrate the city-state's wicked and oppressive nobility (Who are currently causing mass starvation and overcrowding in the city's slums due to their greed) to try and help his friends from the inside.

What ideas do you guys have?

supermonkeyjoe

2012-10-12, 11:30 AM

4. A mindflayer whose tadpole didn't come out of the spawning pool quite right, wears a ring of sustenance to remove its need to munch down tasty tasty brains. It runs a library and happily educates those who come to it seeking knowledge, mentally dominates those who come with hostile intentions into doing a few chores and then leaving.

Blightedmarsh

2012-10-12, 01:26 PM

5) Orgrod-thung the open handed.

This hobgoblin mercenary realized that he could get more money by betraying employers and helping the adventurers. Not only does he get payed by the BBEG but he also gets to loot the treasury and gets a share in the reward money. Best of all there is almost nothing stopping him from doing it all over again but the other way around.

karkus

2012-10-12, 03:56 PM

I once heard of a campaign played by some of my friends that involved a team of four monsters;

A Mind Flayer Monk, an expert in grappling and pulverizing foes.

A Doppelganger Rogue, capable of bypassing any social obstacle.

A Yuan-Ti Ranger, master huntsman.

And a Rakshasa Sorcerer, giving an arcane edge to the team.

------------------------

On the topic of monster heroes, Ettins have always been a mystery. They're two separate beings, so what if one is a mage and the other a warrior? What if they are both mages? Do they get double spells? There was a mention of an Ettin in a story whose left side was gifted with natural arcane ability- a Sorcerer- with the right side being a powerful warrior (a Fighter, I think). The left side allowed the other to take control of both legs, leaving him only a single arm to complete somatic components. (Plus, Ettins have average Wis and Cha scores, with no penalties or bonuses to them)

karkus

2012-10-12, 04:14 PM

How about a bunch of Awaken-ed animals that adventure together?

Balmas

2012-10-12, 04:48 PM

Oh boy.

Meet Rhomus, the former spellscale, and current necropolican Dread Necromancer. In a drunken orgy, he got involved in the cult and underwent the transmutation. Now undead, he adventures with his slaymate friend, campaigning for undead rights. After all, mindless undead are either forced to do evil actions by their creators, or typecast as evil by good clerics. His argument is that most are good, and would do good if they were given the chance.

Manly Man

2012-10-12, 10:36 PM

A red great wyrm takes pity on a small kingdom who has little to no available resources for trade and teaches them the finer points of the economics of the surrounding kingdoms, disguising herself as a scholar. She also rushes to the aid of the kingdom when a far more powerful nation is aiming to conquer her 'pet project'.

A war troll that has a strict code of honor is sent to kill a man that, as he was unaware of, managed an orphanage. Upon slaying the man, the troll finds out what the man did, and so both protects the children and seeks vengeance upon the wizard that had hired him to murder the man in the first place.

A nightmare was racing a shadow mastiff around the multiverse, and upon reaching Elysium, the purity and the benevolence forever changed him, his coat becoming white as snow, his fiery tail and mane turning bright as gold, and from then on he turned around, and aims to go back around to meet his foe at the middle and defeat it before it makes its full circle.

A tribe of water orcs helps protect a seaside town from a tribe of sahuagin, the fighting all being underwater and so the villagers are, for the most part, unaware of the presence of either of them. The orcs also help feed them during rough times by killing and beaching large sea creatures like whales, giant squids, or large fish.

An army of skeletons has been Awakened and, resentful of their villainous 'master', turn against him and overthrow him. Knowing just how unpleasant evil beings are from personal experience, they decide to fight against evil, and do so by taking to the sea and maintaining a facade of being a vengeful ghost ship of sailors who were so dedicated to ridding the sea of pirate vermin that even death could not hold them back.

A noble salamander is forced to watch as his brothers are slain brutally by a powerful efeeti. He gathers and leads a group of other natives of the Elemental Plane of Fire that were wronged by the efreeti to find him and punish him for his crimes.

kieza

2012-10-13, 01:57 AM

An Inevitable that goes around using divination and its knowledge of natural laws to inform scientists when they are about to do something insanely dangerous due to ignorance (such as exposing test subjects to radiation to see what happens, or accidentally creating a "perfect plague") and then killing them if they insist on going through with it.

A troll that goes around to famine-struck towns and hacks off bits of itself to feed the villagers.

A succubus that disguises herself as a small child and goes trolling for sex offenders, whom she consigns to the "special hell."

An orc whose rage burns cold, not hot, and becomes a deadly calm, calculating warrior when you make him angry. He's currently trying to convert other orcs, because if they can all be like him it'll go a long ways towards fixing their image problems.

Jeff the Green

2012-10-13, 02:18 AM

A necropolitan dread necromancer who was a paladin (the job, not the class) before being kicked out of his order for becoming undead against his will. He now roams the countryside righting wrongs and generally scaring the bejeezus out of evildoers. (Actually playing this guy right now.)

A succubus cleric/silverhair knight of Lastai with a vow of nonviolence who literally seduces bad guys to the side of Good.

SleepyShadow

2012-10-13, 11:59 AM

Gindar Black-Tooth, bugbear samurai, defender of the small, and activist for goblinoid rights.

Vronti "This is Red Hand" Spathi, a blue half-dragon who used to be a member of the Red Hand of Doom. Now, this phalanx fighter wants nothing more than to settle down and follow his dream profession: he has always wanted to be a baker. Yes, a baker.

Snapper, a displacer beast illusionist who puts on circus performances for children.

Morithias

2012-10-13, 05:53 PM

I don't usually do this but this is perfect.

http://rustyandco.com/

Of course we always have the infamous Succubus Paladin.

ReaderAt2046

2012-10-15, 11:55 AM

I'm not sure if this counts (for reasons you'll see in text), but I've had an idea in the back of my mind for a while about a vampire who converted to Christianity, which granted him immunity to sunlight and holy symbols, as well as the right to take the Lord's Supper, whereupon he discovered that a single sip of the Blood of Christ could quench his thirst for weeks on end. He still feeds of of humans, but only when he'd be jsutified in killing anyway (self-defense, capital punishment, etc.)

Eldan

2012-10-15, 05:11 PM

A psychic vampire living on Elysium (really, psychic creature of any kind) who eats the traumatic memories of others for nourishment.

v072

2012-10-15, 10:15 PM

Would a grisgol (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20040905a&page=4) containing a demi-lich count as heroic?

Falconer

2012-10-17, 06:48 PM

A philosophical-type necromancer who became a lich because he feared dying before completing his Grand Theory of Everything (tm). After several centuries of contemplation and meditation he has slowly moved on the alignment spectrum from Evil to Good, and offers his wisdom to whatever brave souls seek him out.

therakishrogue

2012-10-17, 08:50 PM

A mummy lord awakened from a thousand year slumber by tomb robbers who discovers that both the nation she served and the gods she worshiped have been forgotten, and the people of the once prosperous land are now starving raiders. She then takes it upon herself to rebuild the nation and regenerate the land, which due to centuries of poor range management has become an infertile desert.

Smart_alec

2012-10-17, 09:45 PM

27-ish) Thak Spleeneater (http://threatquality.com/2010/07/15/thak-spleeneater-history-and-etymology/). A character I fully intend to nick and build one day.

28) Fa'rum the Sphinx. Of the protector of holy places and relic's flavour. She simultaneously works under the perview of the God of the Hearth and the God of Nature and as such fights exclusively against those who would harm familial groups or destroy or denigrate the home around them.

29) A Neogi who has decided that being good while also being pragmatic is more profitable.

30) A [Insert species here] who is a worshipper of Torog or Loviatar who uses his capacity to inflict pain in conjunction with healing magic to bring use and sensation back to crippled limbs.

31) A Slaad. Who by random chance has always done a good act rather than an evil one. (It could happen I suppose.)

32) Maxwell the Bullywug. Who's good but still kind of a prick. He knows that if he acts a certain way people will allow him to hang around and maintain his low level aura of annoyance and frustration. (The mutant love-child of Belakar and Ja-Ja Binks.)

tbok1992

2012-10-19, 08:05 PM

Would a grisgol (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20040905a&page=4) containing a demi-lich count as heroic?

Don't you mean an ArchLich? Because, ArchLiches are the good ones, and Demiliches are too detached from humanity to become anything but Neutral or Evil and too powerful to ever consent to being shoved into a Grisgol. Unless the Grisgol is made up of Artifacts...

I think I just came up with a new BBEG.

33. A Grell who is his race's equivalent of a Vegetarian due to not eating humanoid flesh, and thus has become an excellent chef due to having to become far more creative with flavoring to make his dishes taste good.

34. A Rilmani who became Neutral Good rather than his race's default True Neutral because, when he looked at it closely and studied the manifestations of it it over many years, he realised that the whole idea of a "Balance between good and evil" that one needs to maintain at all costs is kinda bullhonkey.

35. A mindflayer/Beholder hybrid that retained parts of its previous personality and only feeds on the brains of other beholders due to its disgust at them thanks to the usual Beholder xenophobia, though the conversion to Mind Flayer has made it fine with the other races.

tbok1992

2012-10-21, 01:22 AM

36: A unusually intelligent troll, who, with a combination of his regeneration, a NIPPLE CLAMP OF EXQUISITE PAIN! , his use of the spell Distilled Joy and lots and lots of stabby implements, has managed to set him up as the continent's most people of Ambrosia on the continent. A good NPC to creep out your players mightily, even if he is Good aligned.

Xefas

2012-10-21, 01:55 AM

37: A Chaotic Good Crusader, champion of freedom and breaker of tyrants, is finally defeated by an evil Lich - once a monstrous mage-king whose realm of slavery and oppression was overthrown by the Crusader. In an act of terrible vengeance, the Lich forces the Crusader to wear a Helm of Opposite Alignment, turning his alignment to Lawful Evil, and then sets him loose to sow the very wickedness he had dedicated his life to stopping.

After many years of villainy, the Crusader is killed by a band of heroes, and his soul plunges into the Nine Hells of Baator. There, he is mercilessly scourged of his humanity, and turned into a lowly Lemure. Centuries pass, and that tiny spark of power that had lead him to, in mortal life, become a great champion for whatever banner he chose to serve under, has also driven him to rise through the ranks of the Devils, casting off his Lemure form, and becoming a Spined Devil, then a Bearded Devil, and so on until he eventually arrived at the ultimate infernal station of Pit Fiend.

Then, after a particularly hazardous battle in which he sustained multiple magical attacks, he brings to bear his extensive magical expertise in order to rid himself of the various curses and hexes afflicting him. And then he notices it - remembers it. As a lowly soldier, the Devil field-medics had noticed a powerful enchantment on him that they could not break and, being rank-and-file cannon fodder, they would not call in the higher-up authorities to waste a Wish or Miracle to cure him.

But now? Now he had the power. He activates his Wish spell-like ability and breaks the enchantment.

The entire ethical universe spins upside down as the enforced morality leaves him, and the strong Chaotic Good convictions of that long-ago Crusader return. The Pit Fiend does not remember that life, except perhaps as the most fleeting of dreams. But he knows that what he is now is a lie. He knows what is good and bad in this world. And he knows he has done immeasurable wrong in his many hundreds of years of life.

Now he must atone, one good deed at a time.

Voyd211

2012-10-21, 04:14 PM

Tonton, an LG lich kobold wizard. (I've never seen any hard evidence that becoming a lich requires that you be evil)

Got tired of being kicked around by his tribe. Froze them all. Kept his sanity by devoting himself to the village he lives in, built on top of his tribe's warren. Occupies his time by preparing tons of spells, serving as a librarian and keeping riffraff out of his village.

Probably sucky, but eh.

SleepyShadow

2012-10-21, 06:10 PM

Merc Han't, the necropolitan mind flayer ninja who travels the globe selling items which may or may not be stolen to adventurers in need. He keeps all of his merchandise in his patented Trenchcoat of Holding, and he greets all of his customers with a friendly "Welcome, stranger!" Yes, even the repeat customers.

Wraith

2012-10-21, 07:05 PM

40: An Awakened Giant Octopus with levels in Monk. His only possessions are an Amulet of Air Breathing (!?) and a insatiable yearning for revenge against the man who killed his Master. Now he travels the world perfecting his skills, Inigo Montoya-style, hoping to be ready when the time comes.....

41: To outside views it looks like a young, slightly incompetent Wizard with his Raven Familiar. To those in the know, an Awakened Raven who is secretly an Enchanter. The human once wronged the Raven in a grave fashion and ever since has been Dominated to act as it's servant-come-Familiar until his debt has been paid off. Until then, they hunt down other Enchanters who abuse their power for undeserved profit.

42: A Swarm of Rats that served as Animal Companion to an Urban Druid who has gone missing, and is presumed dead at the hands of the cities local Thieves/Assassin's Guild after his watchful occupation kept them from freely using the sewers.
None-sentient, but the Swarm seems to have some instinctual knowledge of the difference between Good (what the Druid stood for) and Evil (the backstabbing murderers) - did the Druid choose the Swarm because it was Good, or was it Good because the Druid chose the Swarm? - and continues the vigil of the city's underways, watching the shadows from the shadows with ten thousand pairs of gleaming yellow eyes.....

Incidentally, this will be the concept for my next character, when the opportunity arises - for some reason having a Swarm as a Companion, and just bumping its HD every time it levels rather than picking a new creature, sounds like a lot of fun. :smallbiggrin:

Craft (Cheese)

2012-10-21, 08:29 PM

Tonton, an LG lich kobold wizard. (I've never seen any hard evidence that becoming a lich requires that you be evil)

From the SRD:

Alignment

Any evil.

By RAW, a Lich has to be evil. Whether this is a stupid rule that shouldn't be there or not is debatable (for the record, I think alignment requirements are always dumb) but the existence of the rule itself is not.

Voyd211

2012-10-21, 08:33 PM

Is there any step in BECOMING a lich that requires evil?

Pie Guy

2012-10-21, 08:40 PM

Is there any step in BECOMING a lich that requires evil?

Creating a phylactery, which is so evil that it has no description.

Voyd211

2012-10-21, 08:44 PM

tbok1992

2012-10-21, 08:53 PM

Well, 4e says it's because one has to pledge one's self to Orcus to become one, though if one gets high level enough to pick the Archlich Epic Destiny, one can skip that step and be a good Lich.

TuggyNE

2012-10-21, 10:57 PM

How is that evil? I don't think I've seen any specifications that say "phylactery automatically makes you evil, do not pass 'go,' do not collect 200 gp." I INCREDIBLY doubt that just putting your soul in a box instantaneously turns you into Xykon. A Lich is free-willed, it can make decisions of its own, moral or otherwise.

The process of becoming a lich is unspeakably evil and can be undertaken only by a willing character. A lich retains all class abilities it had in life.

If you willingly perform a ritual of unspeakable evil, it's pretty reasonable to rule that bam, you're evil. (Technically, it's possible to become non-evil later, or there could be some exceptions that are merely very dark Neutral, but the general WotC attitude is a fair approximation.)

Also, IIRC, Libris Mortis has something about the generally static nature of undead; they (apparently) don't change their mindset much at all, which naturally makes "oh I totally converted back to Good after I was undead" rather less plausible.

Jay R

2012-10-22, 08:05 AM

43. A wandering human adventurer appears, but he's just interested in saving lives and making things better. He doesn't go around killing monsters and stealing their stuff.

Blightedmarsh

2012-10-22, 02:02 PM

44. Throg bald the decimator. 1/2 ogre warlord.

Took over from the previous BBEG and elven necromancer Prince Tarqinus the exquisite after his untimely death at the hands of a group of intrepid adventures. Throgs blend of near mindless violence, ruthlessness and a surprisingly high sense motive check has enabled Throg to blossom into one of the most effective rulers Bone keep has known in generation; albeit one with a one track mind and all the subtlety of an angry rhinoceros with a tooth ache.

As long as his mug is full of ale and the wenches are eager Throg is mostly content within his borders; the upshot of this is the longest period of peace in living memory. These days adventures beating on the the doors of bone keep are looking for the reward of a quest already completed and not looking to complete a quest with blood and fire.

Though paunchy and grey of hair, Throg is still able and willing to strap on his halberd (daemons claw) and ride out if he feels the situation call for it (or if he feels the old call for wanton slaughter).

Doorhandle

2012-10-22, 10:09 PM

That seems to be more of a neutral monster NPC than a heroic monster NPC, but whatever.

"Donovan the charred:" A former monk, Donovan was eventually captured by the legendary sheik Saul the unsightly, and incarcerated within the Coat of Dealthos: A torture device that can only be described as 1 part full plate, 5 parts iron maiden, and 15 parts hot-plate. After the smoke cleared and the armour went from white-hot to merely excruciating, attendants peels of the armour only to find that Donithin has become a Grave-knight in the meantime, and having red-hot nails impaled into his once-living flesh had done little to dissuade his enthusiasm. Having buried the armour of his death in an undisclosed location, Donovan now works as a scribe in the country that once belonged to Saul... after completing some unfinished business of course.

"Klarz of wyrmblood:" An oddly chatty underworld dragon, who spends his time forging magical arms, armor and other trinkets that are impressive crafted even by the standards of organisms with thumbs. Serves as a dungeon shop that can pop up almost everywhere, underground or otherwise.

Q. Flestrin

2012-10-23, 06:27 AM

This puts me in mind of something from the Book of Exalted Deeds: an LG female mind flayer monk, as an illustration of redemption.

Anyways, here are two of mine, who are derived from major NPCs in one of my campaign settings.
45. Ksandro the Golden Spider (humanoid)/Xacaltetlchirrik (natural), NG aranea bard. His humanoid form is a half-elf. He is devoted to improving the lives of monstrous creatures, operating under the assumption that except for outsiders, evil in monsters is a "nurture-not-nature" proposition.
46. Phrax, LG minotaur ... can't decide on cleric, paladin, or fighter. Anyway, he has silver fur and ivory horns, which mean that he is chosen to bring the minotaur race back into the fold of their benevolent-but-mostly-forgotten gods.

smasher0404

2012-10-23, 12:56 PM

Don the Lawful Neutral Doppelganger: Originally an assassin, he fell in love with his target and tried to protect her. When this fail, he took her form and joined her adventuring party in order to protect her legacy.

BootStrapTommy

2012-10-24, 07:48 PM

43. A wandering human adventurer appears, but he's just interested in saving lives and making things better. He doesn't go around killing monsters and stealing their stuff.

What is this blasphemous bull****?

Urrrnnnaalllggarrrrrahhhgghhjjgghhhvh, (I think that's how it would be spelled) a Half-Platinum Paragon Pseudonatural Tarrasque with a Vow of Poverty who is the absolute paragon of Good, but has the misfortune of being a big, scary Tarrasque and thus incapable of effectively communicating its intentions to anyone who isn't a big, scary Tarrasque. Also is a huge fan of all things cute and fuzzy, much to the horror of all things cute and fuzzy.

tbok1992

2012-10-26, 10:35 PM

A chaotic good grell who has turned his race's characteristic gluttony to good use by making it his goal to eat as many demons as he possibly can. He gains more and more abyssal power with each demon he eats, but avoids turning evil due to his Aberrant brain structure. He's starting to gain a minor following amongst other grells as well...

Q. Flestrin

2012-10-27, 05:24 AM

Urrrnnnaalllggarrrrrahhhgghhjjgghhhvh, (I think that's how it would be spelled) a Half-Platinum Paragon Pseudonatural Tarrasque with a Vow of Poverty who is the absolute paragon of Good, but has the misfortune of being a big, scary Tarrasque and thus incapable of effectively communicating its intentions to anyone who isn't a big, scary Tarrasque. Also is a huge fan of all things cute and fuzzy, much to the horror of all things cute and fuzzy.

How do you get Half-Platinum?

AgentofHellfire

2012-10-27, 11:26 AM

Djurng'ra, Female Fire Giant Barbarian/Frenzied Berserker

Djurng'ra was actually one of the best fighters of her people, a tribe of giants living in the midst of a realm filled with countless monsters--it was thought that the battle-rage filled her to a far greater extent than others.

However, she is currently in a state of self-imposed exile, after a chance encounter with a mind flayer caused her to kill several of her own friends and comrades-in-arms. To this day, her time mind-controlled--and what she did then--haunt her greatly. She still cannot bring herself to enter the rage like she used to.

Devebaal, Great Wyrm Blue Dragon

When word struck the human lands that a dragon of such power as Devebaal had appeared before the orc tribes, many were terrified. Perhaps she was starting an empire--perhaps unearthing some dark artifact to add to her horde--perhaps seeking vengeance on someone who'd stolen something from that horde...

...but the truth was none of the above, for Devebaal had simply decided that she might as well do something with the great wealth of knowledge that she'd amassed. Something that would put it to greater use. The something she ultimately decided on was in fact the civilizing of the orc tribes, which she is doing a very great job of.

BootStrapTommy

2012-10-29, 09:35 PM

How do you get Half-Platinum?

I won't go into the exact details but when a mommy and a daddy love each other and one of them is a Platinum dragon...

Anecronwashere

2012-11-01, 08:08 PM

I won't go into the exact details but when a mommy and a daddy love each other and one of them is a Platinum dragon...

:smalleek:
Where would they get the midwife for that monstrosity?

AgentofHellfire

2012-11-04, 04:26 PM

(A note--to understand this character's backstory, you'll need to read about Devebaal)

Devebaal, Great Wyrm Blue Dragon

When word struck the human lands that a dragon of such power as Devebaal had appeared before the orc tribes, many were terrified. Perhaps she was starting an empire--perhaps unearthing some dark artifact to add to her horde--perhaps seeking vengeance on someone who'd stolen something from that horde...

...but the truth was none of the above, for Devebaal had simply decided that she might as well do something with the great wealth of knowledge that she'd amassed. Something that would put it to greater use. The something she ultimately decided on was in fact the civilizing of the orc tribes, which she is doing a very great job of.

Now then...

Auxihlo'ros, Orc Sorcerer
When Auxihlo'ros was born as an orc lad named Trigduzh, very...strange things always happened, just around him. Flowers wilted, game was lost...people died...

Essentially, he was a curse to all who stood near him, and the orcs of his tribe noticed. They also very nearly killed him, driving him out of their camp at first, to let the gods claim him, and when that didn't work out, sending some thugs out to keep him dead.

But then, a great Blue Dragon appeared before him, saved his life, and explained to him the altent potential for magic that caused him to be such a bad omen. In exchange, Auxhilo'ros would come to use that power to help Devebaal with her little project...and Auxhilo'ros very much enjoys this. He doesn't much like orcs, and while what he's doing isn't killing them all, the looks on their faces when he declares a group of them nonpersons for trying to get their grubby hands on a bit of the budding orc nation's food supplies is well worth having to deal with them.

Q. Flestrin

2012-11-05, 06:47 AM

I won't go into the exact details but when a mommy and a daddy love each other and one of them is a Platinum dragon...

That is NOT what I mean. There is no other platinum dragon besides Bahamut. So basically Urrrnnnaalllggarrrrrahhhgghhjjgghhhvh is half-god? Would Bahamut even consider a dalliance with a big honking epic insanity-inducing tarrasque?

tbok1992

2012-11-05, 02:05 PM

Deepbluediver

2012-11-05, 03:03 PM

Ok, I'll admit it; I used to play >>WoW<<. (That's World of Warcraft for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last half-decade, aka, World of WarCrack)

One of the playable races, the tauren, are essentially minotaurs with a native-american pastiche for their cultural gimick.
And I loved being a big, beefy Tauren (pun oh so intended :smallamused:)

Taking and running with the idea of minotaurs as something other than canabalistic monsters is Basil the friendly minotaur (http://gunnerkrigg.wikia.com/wiki/Basil) (with bad PR).

So, how the hell much unholy astral Spanish Fly did Tiamat/Grumuush/Ogremoch/Whoever have to give him before he said "Yeah, I'd hit that."?

Oh god, can't stop laughing....ribs hurt so much...

Gravitron5000

2012-11-06, 11:06 AM

Plus, if we're going by the 4e version, the Tarrasque is essentially a living superweapon made by the Primordials, the gods' enemies. So, how the hell much unholy astral Spanish Fly did Tiamat/Grumuush/Ogremoch/Whoever have to give him before he said "Yeah, I'd hit that."?

They designed the ultimate weapon which strikes unerringly for the heart. Unfortunately it turned out more like cupid than Temple of Doom ...

BootStrapTommy

2012-11-09, 09:04 PM

That is NOT what I mean. There is no other platinum dragon besides Bahamut. So basically Urrrnnnaalllggarrrrrahhhgghhjjgghhhvh is half-god? Would Bahamut even consider a dalliance with a big honking epic insanity-inducing tarrasque?

All I'm going to say on the matter is that there IS a reason Bahamut has sworn off drink.

Being Lawful Good doesn't make you immune to making mistakes.

They designed the ultimate weapon which strikes unerringly for the heart. Unfortunately it turned out more like cupid than Temple of Doom ...

Exactly. After a few drinks, even Bahamut couldn't resist those voluptuous tarrasque curves.

Sgt. Cookie

2012-11-12, 07:40 PM

A Pit Fiend that runs an orphanage for Sorcerers, Favoured Souls and the like, and has been doing so for a long time. He's quite good at it, and even teaches these youngsters to control their abilities.

There is a lot of raw power here, so naturaly it attracts attention, but try to claim it for yourself? You'll soon figure out why the orphanage has been running so long.

Deepbluediver

2012-11-14, 01:09 PM

I've got another idea: we have a whole bunch of Moonrats (http://monsterfinder.dndrunde.de/details.php?id=596&backlink=%2Fallmonsters.php) building a monastery from red-colored sandstone, assisted by squirrels otters and badgers, who are all hyper-intelligent from the magical leakage of a nearby sunken castle that used to be home to a long-forgotten tyrant. :smallwink:

Edit: and I also forgot to mention the magic sword, forged from starmetal and passed down through generations of rat-heroes.

Exactly. After a few drinks, even Bahamut couldn't resist those voluptuous tarrasque curves.

oh god, now my brain is attempting to eat itself just so I never have to picture this ever again.

BootStrapTommy

2012-11-15, 04:03 AM