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killer_monk
2012-11-02, 11:08 AM
Hey everybody! I'd like to talk about some of the craziest ways I've seen things die in D&D. I play AD&D, and I'm new to the series in general. My father, who also happens to be my DM, played AD&D back in the 80's. He's a great DM and me and my and friends adore having him DM because of how detailed he is. The only thing about him that we don't like is that he tries very hard to kill us off in the most elaborate ways possible, and succeeds at hurting us fairly often.So without further pause, I'd like to share with you some of my unfortunate events.

At this point in my life, I had never played D&D before. So, when I got bored one day, I asked my dad to teach me how to play. My best friend was also there and wanted to learn as well. So my dad went and got his old dice set and helped us roll up characters. I chose to be a half-elf fighter and my friend was a human fighter. We told him we wanted to play right away, so he began.

He told us we were in a forest, after we rolled for hp and got our items, and that an orc raiding party was on our heals. This was the first time either of us had played, so he went ahead and told us how many 5th level orcs were in the party. They had 37 5th level orcs and one 10th level chieften. we were level ones with a cutlass and a longsword and ten healing potions between the two of us. We also had six scrolls and some rope. our scrolls were 2 scrolls of web, 2 scrolls of silence, 2 scrolls of arrow protection. Needless to say that after we examined our equipment and looked at our levels, we ran.

We ran for about a mile before we got to the ocean, and a 600ft cliff. so we finally agreed to start climbing down it after we heard the orc raiding party closing in. they stopped at the top and then, of course, they looked over the edge and saw us. 20 of them started climbing after us and the others pulled out, of al the things, bows. We were about 300ft down when this occured and those orcs were getting some good hit in. By the time we got to the base of the cliff, all the orcs that were climbing had fallen and died. So naturally I start looting and they shoot me in the back and i had to drink my last healing potion. We had to run for two days after that just to stay ahead when we finally found some elves who would help us.

After all that, my dad looks at me and my friend and says "You should have dragged the orcs of the cliff using a scroll of web trap, and then used arrow protection to get away from any survivors". Our characters were killed a few hours later by two brigands on the public road. Should have used those scrolls for a coup de grace. instead we both died in rather dull way.

Luckily, i was wearing a ring of resurrection that I swiped from those orcs. i finished those brigands and moved on. Only to be confronted by a baron who was "interested" in me. The characters finally died from werewolves and their story ended.

danzibr
2012-11-02, 12:54 PM
That's a pretty cool story, I think. As fighters how would you use scrolls? Is this 3.5 or AD&D as your father played?

Anyway, your dad has made a good point, of being resourceful. That's the difference between a live D&D character and a dead one, I suppose, at least quite often.

As for elaborate ways my characters have died in D&D... they never have. The DM's have always fudged stuff in the party's favor, which I honestly dislike, but hey.

The Glyphstone
2012-11-02, 01:31 PM
Old age. Because it never happens.

Silva Stormrage
2012-11-02, 02:16 PM
This wasn't mine in particular but it happened to a player that I was DMing for.

The party had engaged an enemy shaman who they knew was far too strong for them to take on by themselves at that level and were trying to escape. Unfortunately the shaman had a higher move speed and so they had to immobilize it somehow. After 2 rounds of them barely hitting the shaman the shaman then critically hits with his most powerful attack and rolls almost max damage instantly killing one character. The character just smiled and activated his amulet of retribution that I had forgot that I gave him (MiC Version. Immediate action to deal half the damage dealt to you from one attack 3/day). The Shaman dealt enough damage to himself to instantly die as well.

It was a pretty epic fight and an awesome death.

killer_monk
2012-11-02, 10:02 PM
Reply to the above question on how we used scrolls: there was only two of us so my dad gave us the ability to use scrolls.

Normally a fighter can only use protection scrolls, like the arrow protection scroll, but the rules were bent a bit to give is at least a chance to survive.

Additionally, but unrelated to the above reply, whenever we roll a natural 1 on an attack, we roll the percentage dice. If we roll below 50% then we fall down, if we roll above fifty we take the damage we would normally have dealt. I have been unfortunate enough for my father to roll a 100% on my fumble and I split myself in half. The party cleric, my aforementioned best friend, offered my soul to his lord Bane. He gained a level and a mace of disintegration. I'm playing a paladin now, who will eventually kill the cleric.

Also, we play AD&D with 4e race options and a Forgotten Realms campaign. I also use the race building tips in the 4e guide to make my own races. My dad doesn't always let me use my races though, and he often changes things I add.

tyckspoon
2012-11-02, 11:18 PM
Also, we play AD&D with 4e race options and a Forgotten Realms campaign. I also use the race building tips in the 4e guide to make my own races. My dad doesn't always let me use my races though, and he often changes things I add.

:smalleek: This isn't quite the weirdest D&D mashup I've heard of on these forums, but it's up there.


Personal best way for things to die: 3.5, the Unname spell. It's a Truenaming spell, which means you will *never* actually want to use it, because the rules for Truename spells require so much effort that they are not a reasonable option for solving anything.. but if you successfully Unname something, it's not just dead. It's not even more-than-dead, like the way things get if a Barghest eats them or you throw them in a Sphere of Annihilation. No, that sucker not only ceases to be alive, you *remove the concept of that being from the universe.* If you try to (True) Resurrect them, you get a 404: Soul not found error. It's one of the most thorough ways of destroying a creature in 3rd Ed D&D.

Ranting Fool
2012-11-03, 02:36 AM
Personal best way for things to die: 3.5, the Unname spell. It's a Truenaming spell, which means you will *never* actually want to use it, because the rules for Truename spells require so much effort that they are not a reasonable option for solving anything.. but if you successfully Unname something, it's not just dead. It's not even more-than-dead, like the way things get if a Barghest eats them or you throw them in a Sphere of Annihilation. No, that sucker not only ceases to be alive, you *remove the concept of that being from the universe.* If you try to (True) Resurrect them, you get a 404: Soul not found error. It's one of the most thorough ways of destroying a creature in 3rd Ed D&D.

If you live in the UK then odds are you already know this spell by it's British name "Crack In The Wall" :smallbiggrin::smalltongue::smallbiggrin:

Ranting Fool
2012-11-03, 02:39 AM
The character just smiled and activated his amulet of retribution that I had forgot that I gave him (MiC Version. Immediate action to deal half the damage dealt to you from one attack 3/day). The Shaman dealt enough damage to himself to instantly die as well.

It was a pretty epic fight and an awesome death.

Looking at the Magic Item Comp and can't seem to find it, whats the item name?:smallbiggrin:

Malak'ai
2012-11-03, 08:25 AM
Looking at the Magic Item Comp and can't seem to find it, whats the item name?:smallbiggrin:

Silva's meaning the Retributive Amulet(or how ever it's spelt). The MIC version is the updated, not so broken version of it. The original version returned half the physical damage you take back on who ever caused it all the time.

Nanoblack
2012-11-03, 01:08 PM
The lamest way I've ever died was via disintegrate spell after calling a demigod a "cupcake".

Most epic? Definitely my monk/hellreaver jumping down a massive pit in a red dragons lair to execute a flying punch straight to it's snout. I immediately took it's breath weapon full force to the face and died, but the hit was strong enough to dislodge it from the wall and gave my party enough time to re-position and take it out via ranged attacks.

Dr.Epic
2012-11-03, 03:55 PM
A friend of mine once played a wizard who had an army of orcs charge to him. He used his spells to create a blind light that stunned the orcs in the front, then the orcs behind them continued running and trampled the stunned orcs.

EtherianBlade
2012-11-04, 02:43 PM
Sounds like Dad's a killer DM, but maybe I just read it wrong :smalltongue:

One of the most ridiculous ways in which I saw a character die was during an AD&D swashbuckling campaign when I was in college. Chasing after a rival band of pirates, our ship was caught on a shallow reef, on the other side of which was a vertical, magic tunnel in the water going down about sixty feet.

One member of our group decided to go first, and tied a rope around his waist.

Player: I jump.
DM: Okay, you start to rappel down the wall of water--
Player: No, I jump. There's probably sharks and stuff in the water, or evil mermen or something.
DM: You're . . . just going to jump straight down?
Player: Yup. Right down the middle. You said it's sixty feet, right? Well, the rope is fifty feet long so I know I won't hit the bottom.
DM: O-kay . . . .
Player: I jump.
DM: You snap your spine in half when the rope goes taut, and die.
Player: Oh. I didn't think about that.

Jay R
2012-11-05, 09:17 AM
Two of the most straightforward deaths of monsters I ever saw were in a tournament. At Tacticon II, in 1976, we were playing in a D&D tournament. We were about 5th or 6th level.

We opened a door, and saw a 10x20 room containing a 134-headed hydra. No, that is not a typo - one hundred and thirty four heads. We shut the door, and made plans. Then -
Player 1: I open the door.
Player 2: I cast a Web spell.
Player 3: I toss in two flasks of oil.
Player 4: I toss in two flasks of oil.
Player 5: I throw in a lit torch.
Player 1: I shut the door.

Four points of damage to each head. We did it again. Three points of damage to each head. Dead hydra. We waited for the flames to die down, and sauntered in to pick up the treasure. (The scrolls were burnt; the rest was fine.)

The organizers later told us that it was there as a test - to kill anybody stupid enough to attack a 134 hit die monster. It never crossed their mind that anyone would beat it.

The tourney also had a rule by which, if you rolled a natural twenty on an attack, you then rolled a d8. If it came up 8, it was an automatic kill. Near the end, we were trying to hurry since we had not found the quest object. We got very precise, and were running down a corridor when a Balrog appeared in front of us. (The D&D Balrog was not a demon - it was a straightforward 10th level monster.)

Don, playing the fighter, said, "We keep running through the two halves of the Balrog," and threw a d20 and a d8 down the table. They stopped in front of the DM.

The DM said, "Yeah, right." He then looked at the dice, blinked twice, and said, in a low voice, "You keep running between the two halves of the Balrog."

Loth17
2012-11-05, 11:28 PM
The best way for something to die is when the final boss of the campaign has beat down the party to one player left and that one player left has about three HP left. Then the player gets a max damage crit. :smallcool:

Seerow
2012-11-06, 01:37 AM
One time playing Shadowrun(I know, not D&D, but it's a good story!), our GM was getting sick of the campaign, and rather than just ending it out of game, decided he wanted to randomly TPK us.


So as we're driving to a meet. We get hit at an intersection by a semi-truck. We all know crashes in SR are pretty lethal, so he assumes that'll kill us easily. But nope, due to some outrageous rolls, not only did we live, the van wasn't even wrecked (incidentally, the semi truck was).

The GM, now frustrated, tells us that a dragon bursts out of the back of the semi-truck, angry and coming after us. Well a couple of passes and a near death or two later as the mages and street sammy run distraction, the demolitions expert (who owned the van we were riding in) sets all of the explosives he had in his van (don't remember the exact amount, but it was a lot of high grade stuff) and rams the Van into said Dragon, leaping out of the van after jamming the gas petal and setting the detonator.

End result: One PC death (the street Sammy got nuked by a something. I think the no drain Force 8 Flamethrower, but I could be wrong), rest of the party unconscious (knocked out by the blast), one dead dragon in the middle of downtown manhattan by way of exploding van.

Tantaburs
2012-11-06, 07:24 AM
Best way I have ever killed something was at the end of an Evil Campaign.

It was made clear that this was the last seesion and the party would most likely end up dead at the beggining of the session so I spent all the time i had trying to find a way to survive/ Die awesomly. The essence of the campaign was we were serving a demon lord who had us killing various people he had made deals with who were getting to strong for his liking. He had 2 henchmen who were DMPCs for out 2 DM and were both brokenly overpowered (one was a crystaline troll made years ago when the DM didn't realise how ECL worked and didn't add racial hit dice the other was a disiple of disapater infinite attack guy)

After our daring escape from the opposing space fleet ended in everyone but me and out 2 handlers Hans and Frans the german body builders dieing in the shuttle crash (Jumped in my bag of holding took no damage) Hans and Frans teleported me to the demon lords fortress for my "reward". Now Hans and Frans has been a running gag through the campaign because our DM had a hilarious german accent so they spent the final encounter casting grease on themselves to make there muscles shiny. The demon lord told me that I had done well but as i had lost my soul (part of a prestige class i made for myself) and he had no control over me anymore I was now a loose end and needed to me exterminated. I heard a hum behind me as Hans and Frans turned on their Brilliant Energy Weapons. I rolled for initive with my DM fully expecting me to die. I used my one action to cast some fireball variant (can't remember the name but it sets the ground on fire with a swift action to cast raging flames. The DM asked me how much damage I did and i asked him how much grease was left on Hans and frans. He immediatly realised his mistake and said they were still covered in grease while laughing to himself. I one hit both Hans and Frans.

My DM laughed and said the demon lord still wanted me dead But i asked him if he would let me live if i could prove that i was a better henchman then his disciple of disapater. He agreed and set out a duel circle for us to fight in with a 30ft radius. I started by casting Greater Invisibility which was changed to Invisibilty to keep the duel fair. I used my invisibility rounds to buff and summon mirror images until it was dispelled my the succbi summoned by my opponent. I knew i had to kill him before he got into range of me so i hit him with as much power as i could but wasn't able to quite kill him (apparently i got him to 5). He attacked me down to 0 and waited for the demon lord to give him the Okay to finish me off. the demon lord stated that I deserved to be killed by the demon lord himself and walked up to me. I asked if i got an action to which my DM looked at me like I was crazy. He said "you are at 0 hp and you want to attack the demon lord who could kill you with a glance?" my respone was "no i am at 0 hp and want to send and empowered Scorching Ray at the Disiple of disapater who walked away" I kill ed the DMPC and was allowed to live. The demon lord was then killed by one of the demon we were sent down to kill but failed in doing so and he took me into his service I reclaimed my soul from the Firelord who took it in his service and became a Fire lich and who was the BBEG for our next campaign.

Ozfer
2012-11-06, 08:15 AM
My players were walking through the forest, after having wiped out a goblin camp. Next thing they knew, goblins were falling from the trees, in a suicidal ambush.

One player came up with an interesting way to kill the goblin on his back. "Aren't I wearing a spear on my back?".

I rolled for it, and the goblin impaled itself.

DigoDragon
2012-11-06, 08:59 AM
Old age. Because it never happens.

Thank you. My computer monitor needed a spittake coffee bath. :smalltongue:


Most epic death I ever recall was when I was DM. The party had infiltrated the flying castle of a Mind Flayer and got into a really good fight that lasted about 7-8 rounds. That alone was pretty epic. Then the fight ended when the party rogue decided to smash the crystal that kept the castle aloft.
The castle now takes on all the flying properties of an iron ingot.

Castle is plummeting and the party jumps out of the window, holding on to the wizard as she attemtps a Feather Fall spell. After a white-knuckle moment calculating that the total weight of the party was just under the spell's limit, the Mind Flayer jumps out and attempts his own Feather Fall spell.

The party Favored Soul had a readied action (As DM I forgot she did, but it was legit) and countered the mindflayer's spell. Um... uh oh. So the Mindflayer falls like a rock, pinned to the lower part of a bigger falling rock (his castle), looking like a wide-eyed like a hood ornament.
Tentacles flailing in the wind!

BOOM!

Villages for miles around could see the bloom cloud of destruction. The PCs managed to survive the last few dozen feet of falling (The spell gave up on the way down) and then stood around the crater for a couple hours to ensure nothing survived it. Then the sorcer turns to me and said,

"So DM, how much damage does a falling castle do?"

Phoenixguard09
2012-11-13, 11:04 AM
Well it's not D&D but it's pretty close.

I played a short human Bard in a friend's homebrew game for about six months. It was a good campaign and I really enjoyed it. The party was good, he wasn't a bad GM, etc. Good fun was had.

Now, I do not have a good singing voice. I'm just not cut out for it. So Bard was not something I could really relate to, and certainly wouldn't have been my choice. However, my friend had written up several stat-lines and I was late joining the game, so the only two he had left were a gnomish Monk and the human Bard.

I don't like Monks, so I went with the Bard and called him James Young.

I was not very effective in combat and I wasn't specced for social encounters either, so I was a bit useless, but despite this I had an awful lot of fun cause I'd quote modern(ish) songs, but in character so it fit.

Anyway, six months go by of a game session every three weeks or so. I started to get quite attached to the poor bugger. And then the GM threw a curveball.

A horde of Hobgoblin-esque critters were after us. It was a fairly high lethality system so the four of us were never going to be able to beat over fifty of them by ourselves.

Trying to outrun them, I realise that despite my light(ish) encumbrance, I'm the slowest member of the group. I look around the table and share a meaningful glance with everyone.

James stops running and turns to face the Hobgoblins. He draws his sword, steadies his nerves, and with a shaky voice starts to sing Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wB_P1_Xqf8w) All the while staring down the swiftly approaching horde of Hobgoblins.

He was overrun without mercy, but managed to kill a handful of them.

So no stories of coming back from the dead though. James died that day. His head turned up severed from his body in the next session, which caused just a little sadness and rage from the group.

I didn't participate in the group after that though, mainly cause I didn;t want to play the Monk, which was the only character available. I just acted as a spectator in the last few games before the GM wrapped up the campaign.

Sorry, that was a bit longer than I meant it to be, but I feel an epic story needs a proper introduction. :smallbiggrin:

Cheers,

Averis Vol
2012-11-15, 05:58 PM
In my first campaign I played a Dwarven rogue/fighter by the name of Bregga Maleus, Pirate captain of raglem. I joined the game late, and due to me not picking last name and the other dwarf in the party having a long lost older brother, we rolled the b]percentile and guess what. Bregga had a brother.

So as the game went on me and tego (the brother) started coming up with wacky, stupid ways to kill people. One involved a catapult, I believe we all know where this ends up. So last mission of the game we finally confront the BBEG, a demigoddess of pain and misery, and I dip off to the side while the fighter and the assassin flank her to try and bring down her strength (Rogue trick that deals str damage on a twf assassin with haste, fun.) to a moderate level and I come roaring out of some bush and bull rush her off of the cliff. there is then about three rounds of combat before me and her hit the bottom where she keeps trying to cast out of the area, and thankfully I made her keep mussin up her concentration checks.

So the final fight ended with hers and my corpses impaled upon the jagged reefs at the bottom of the cliff.

Corwin Icewolf
2012-11-18, 01:59 PM
Not so much epic as friggin hilarious, but the other day I was my epic sorceress and this idiot guard comes up to me because it was apparently illegal in this town to stand around doing nothing.

Guard: *foolishly starts hitting an epic level sorceress with a stick.* Ma'am, you are violating the town laws by just standing here, start doing something immediately or you will receive a fine.

Sorceress: Reverse gravity.

Guard: *While falling up* You have violated this city's anti magical laws, if you do not put me back on the ground immediately you will receive a heavy fine.

Sorceress: *stands there laughing*

Well then he shoots her in the knee with an arrow that has a 500,000 gold fine attached.

A round later I try to walk away so he shoots her and bitches at her again, well at this point both valadia(my sorceress) and I have had just about enough about this asshat skyrim referencing guard, so after confirming that he is high enough for the fall to kill him...

Sorceress: Okie dokes. *dismisses the spell then teleports away.*

A couple rounds later another party member walking through the area has a guard land on him. They both took 200 points of damage, he survived, the guard didn't.

Reverse Gravity didn't work exactly as it's supposed to here, of course, but the dm didn't feel like looking up the spell for something that amounted to comedy relief anyway.

CaptainLhurgoyf
2012-11-18, 03:03 PM
The best kill I've ever seen was in a game where our 13th-level kensai was in an colosseum battle with an NPC cleric (I believe it was a cleric, anyway) against two half-dragon minotaurs.

At one point, he was dropping on one of the minotaurs from above, and on his to-hit roll, he got a natural 20. Then, on his confirmation roll, he got ANOTHER natural 20. And he got another modifier to his score because he was falling, so his final attack did six times the damage.

He ended up splitting the minotaur straight down the middle.

EtherianBlade
2012-11-18, 04:05 PM
The best kill I've ever seen was in a game where our 13th-level kensai was in an colosseum battle with an NPC cleric (I believe it was a cleric, anyway) against two half-dragon minotaurs.

At one point, he was dropping on one of the minotaurs from above, and on his to-hit roll, he got a natural 20. Then, on his confirmation roll, he got ANOTHER natural 20. And he got another modifier to his score because he was falling, so his final attack did six times the damage.

He ended up splitting the minotaur straight down the middle.

In the last D&D game in which I was a player, we had recently killed a goblin chieftain who was in possession of a +2 fiery burst heavy pick. Everyone else balked at taking the weapon (basically because it was not a greataxe, or a greatsword, or something equally nifty), so I got it. My character was a fighter/wizard, and I usually relied on spells and wands. For about three game sessions, I never used the damn thing.

Finally, during a lengthy battle with some manticores, my collection of spells was depleted and I was left having to rely upon the flaming pick. Not the best martial combatant, I looked for a flanked manticore and attacked from behind.

First roll: natural 20. Confirmation roll: natural 20. Everyone looks at me like I'm some kind of dice-rolling God. The DM, having forgotten I was using the flaming pick, tells me to figure maximum critical damage.

I grinned.

(1d6+5)*4 + 1d10 = 54 points of damage.

The DM just stared at me. "How do you figure that?"

"Heavy pick has a x4 critical multiplier."

"Oh. Right. Crap." Quick figuring, then laughter. "Okay. The manticore bursts into flame and explodes, sending fiery chunks of flesh in all directions. The others fail morale saves and take to the skies."

After that, I was offered 10k gold by the fighter in the group for the pick. I decided to keep it and eventually took Improved Critical. I never had another max critical like that, but there were times in which I did well over thirty points of damage in one hit.

The Glyphstone
2012-11-18, 07:04 PM
And that wasn't even technically max damage...Fiery Burst would have added +3d10 for a x4 critical weapon, not 1d10.

killer_monk
2012-11-19, 10:19 AM
So I was playing 1e AD&D the other day and me and my friend were entering a large dungeon in the forest. It was just me(an earth elemental monk, 4th level) and my friend(a teifling ranger, also 4th level). My DM, also my father, is very eccentric and likes to put us up against near impossible odds. Oddly enough we don't usually die.

Anyways, we go into this huge cavern, filled with fresh and old blood and bones,so we start sneakily moving around. After awhile we finally get to some old stairs. We travel down and come to a place that branches into three different hallways. The DM tells us that we notice that the one in the middle is an entrance to a great hall and that we can't tell where the other two lead. We go down the right and come across a very large, very hard to kill wolf. We finally kill it after dousing it in holy water. We didn't really think anything of what it took to kill it, which was our biggest mistake.

Anyways, we headed back to the staircase and I told the teifling to wait there. I then started scouting into the main hall and was astounded at the lack of anything of importance. In the mean time my ranger friend started seeing five pairs of glowing eyes in the distance. Which he then made out was four humans and an elf. He also noticed there huge vampire fangs and the fact that they all had really high level equipment. Now in my DM's defense, this trap wasn't supposed to spring unless we actually split a party of two up. Which we did. So I can't hear my friend and I'm blocked with a giant stone door where the door used to be.

My friend manages to hold off the vampires(we don't know their level an weren't supposed to meet them) while I try and get back to him to report my scouting to him. I then hear movement behind me and turn to see hundreds of pairs of eyes. They where screaming for blood and I ended up having to fight twelve at a time. I finally made it to the door only to find it blocked off. So I put my back against the door to lower the number of vampires I had to fight at any given time but instead fell through the "wall". By now the ranger has burned four of the five vampires to a crisp using some turpentine that the DM forgot we even had. The only vampire left was a fighter in full plate who was obviously a general and the leader of the vampires we had been fighting.

So as a fall through the wall I am right next to the fighter vampire. After several rounds of attacks I finally bust a big thing if holy water over his head. He starts to fly away and I use my rope to lasso him back to the ground. He uses his momentum to try to kill us. The DM informs us that whoever this hits will kill them instantly. I make the decision to try a disarm. I roll a nat 20. I rip his weapon from his hand and I tell the ranger to put an arrow in his heart. He rolls high enough to put it in his heart but not past his plate. The vampire general laughs and I then do this...

Me: " you look kinda pale, seems like you could use some FIBER" *punches end of arrow into chest.

The vampire died instantly, and I caught his armor as it fell. We ran out of the ruin and fixed the broken holy seal right before dusk. We barely survived that situation and got his plate armor! I asked the DM what level those vampires were. He told me the average level was 60! The general was an 82nd level and that they were the order of the Phoenix. Guess what that means? Yeah, he's gonna be our big bad! But what's worse is there are actually more generals and even a king! Here comes more adventure!

And for those wondering how a monk survived twelve attacks at a time? I rolled 16-19 for every save and never actually got hit. Monks in 1e don't take any damage at all if they save. But we both are going to turn if we don't get to a cleric before too long...

Grimsage Matt
2012-11-19, 12:10 PM
Funniest way I killed me RL players? Divebombibng floating pug with swollow whole. Ate the wizard and the cleric, who were minmaxed to the nine hells and back..... for everything but grapple:smallbiggrin:

Kane0
2012-11-20, 10:18 PM
The first fight I ever DM'd was a fairly average 4 PCs vs a skeleton, a zombie and a member of the local death cult (statted as an average militia member). The party completely rolled them so I decided to change the treasure chest and pile of coins lying nearby into a low level mimic-like creature and swarm of hoard scarabs (or something similar). The party failed their perception against the two new combatants stealth so they waited for the first living creature to die (the cultist) before 'chesty' jumped forward and began nomming on the corpse. The 'pile of coins' stayed still and did nothing but as chesty finished eating the corpse it went for the cleric, grappling him and dealing damage from more hoard scarabs stored in its 'gut'.

The chest was killed in a spectacular fashion as he got burned/gibbed by a flask of alchemist fire shoved in a hole cut in its back by the fighter's axe, exploding in a shower of 'coins' that scattered in all directions as their host fell in splinters around them.

Medic!
2012-11-20, 10:44 PM
I'll chime in with a very un-epic way something died in one of our home-table games.

I forget most of the party's composition, but we had a Paladin/Vassal of Bahamut, a VoP elven monk, a human cleric, a human sorcerer, and one kind of rogue or another (it's been a while).

We're headed after an green dragon that we've tracked to its cave. Now you have to understand, our parties are all very very much a race to see who can charge and attack the most. Not a strategy-heavy crowd. We spend more time hi-fiving natural 20s than we do planning a fight.

We get to the cave, DM warns us OOC that this will be a tough fight. So we strategize. The rogue and sorc and cleric sneak in through a back entrance, with an elaborate order of actions planned out. The monk's job was given as running in and drawing the dragon's breath weapon to kick things off.

Everyone's in position, and the monk leaps into action. He runs into the dragon's chamber, spitting out taunts, insults, and a Ki Blast. Next up in the initiative is the paladin, then the dragon.

Instead of delaying his action to wait on the breath weapon as previously agreed...

The paladin charges in, rolls a natural 20 on his attack, and his vorpal full-blade snickety-slices the dragon's head off. RIP 45 minutes of strategy meeting. RIP strategy born of this deliberation, designed to hilight each PCs strengths and abilities, cartoon league-of-super-hero style. RIP dragon.

oblivion6
2012-11-21, 03:40 AM
Funniest way I killed me RL players? Divebombibng floating pug with swollow whole. Ate the wizard and the cleric, who were minmaxed to the nine hells and back..... for everything but grapple:smallbiggrin:

only you could come up with something like that Grim...:smalltongue:

one way i have died is trying to have my Eladrin archer ranger attempt to hold the line against a horde of plague zombies while the rogue went and tried to drum us up some help from the towns militia. we had gone out to investigate little incidents that couldnt be mere coincidences with a dozen guardsmen and were subsequently ambushed(of course) at a small stockade thanks to rolling a natural 1 on my perception check. so anyways, there were still a couple guards left and the partys fighter and I figured it should be a simple task to hold out, atleast for a little while until help arrived...it never did...as it turns out, the town itself was already under siege by even more plague zombies. seeing it was hopeless, the rogue just decided to make a run for it and leave us to die! damn cowardly hobbit...

then another time was my dwarf paladin of Pelor falling into a sea of lava attempting to protect the rest of the party who were trying to get to the other side. kinda reminds me of Moria in the Lord of the Rings. the bridge had already collapsed in several locations and it was slow going to get across, a horde of goblins and their ogres bearing down on us. i was doing well, given the situation until finally i fought an ogre who, on his first attack, managed to push me into the lava below. morale of that story is never make a stand 1 square from death.

Grimsage Matt
2012-11-21, 09:42 AM
Requires you to use a ring of X-Ray Vision, or some other way of extending your sighting into 'em.... but you ever used a mage hand spell to take apart your players brains:smallbiggrin:

Or Telekenises to rip out their ribes and stab them with those.

Or animate their own intestines and get those to try and strangle them:smallbiggrin:

And the part that the minmaxers hated the most? The Mage hand one was a insta kill that bypassed all the pure and utter cheese they used to protect their characters.

TuggyNE
2012-11-21, 06:33 PM
And the part that the minmaxers hated the most? The Mage hand one was a insta kill that bypassed all the pure and utter cheese they used to protect their characters.

... by which you mean "plain and simple RAW"? Mage hand only works on unattended objects (which a brain isn't; it's both attended and part of a creature), and has a line of effect restriction, like nearly all spells. (The other examples are similarly illegal.)

You don't need to be a minmaxer to hate that, you just have to be someone who likes following the rules and being fair.

Venusaur
2012-11-21, 10:32 PM
Funniest way I killed me RL players? Divebombibng floating pug with swollow whole. Ate the wizard and the cleric, who were minmaxed to the nine hells and back..... for everything but grapple:smallbiggrin:

Not very good minmaxers if they don't have heart of water up to give you freedom of movement for that situation.

Domriso
2012-11-24, 04:16 AM
I remember one campaign that had several rather nice moments in it, but only one involved a death. The team had finally gotten back together after splitting up in a maze (actually, only one person voluntarily split, he being a Gnome Druid, but the rest of us got lost eventually) and had convened to fight... a dragon. Yes, that quintessential of creatures.

Well, the Gnome Druid ended up being about five levels higher than everyone else (he single-handedly took on encounters which were far higher than the total group's level through some fantastic rolling and roleplaying), so he was a great help, but we were still being roasted. Literally, as the case may have it, the dragon being a Big Red.

As we fight this monstrosity, I start to recognize a possible way to defeat it. I was playing some kind of Wizard (probably a human) and I realized there was no way we were going to kill a Red Dragon of this age at our current level. We were supposed to run, but we were too stubborn. So, I got my teammates to distract the dragon while I buffed myself (high fire resistance, got some DR somehow, and beefed my AC up). Satisfied, I turned to the DM.

"I run out into the middle of the chamber and make use Prestidigitation to make a crude mural of my character fornicating with the dragon's mother."

This, of course, was met with great laughter, and the dragon came at me, intending to eat me. Which is just what I wanted. I shrank myself down and allowed myself to be swallowed, then used a Immovable Rod to get myself caught in its throat. And, from that vantage point, I resisted as many fire breaths as I could (not very many when you literally get the full brunt of them), but in between protecting myself, I flung spheres of cold down the dragon's throat.

I didn't manage to kill it before it fried me, but the Gnome Druid managed to use his 10-foot pole (which, thanks to a bizarre feat, counted as an 11-foot pole in his hands) to catch the dragon's mouth open and Create Water down its throat, followed by a lovely Freezing Ray.

He then proceeded to drag my corpse from the dragon, loot what he could, and then skin the dragon, wearing it as a cloak.

Yeah... the Gnome was a little strange.

LordofDragons24
2012-11-27, 11:19 AM
My players were walking through the forest, after having wiped out a goblin camp. Next thing they knew, goblins were falling from the trees, in a suicidal ambush.

One player came up with an interesting way to kill the goblin on his back. "Aren't I wearing a spear on my back?".

I rolled for it, and the goblin impaled itself.

Couldn't stop laughing. Brilliant. :smallbiggrin:

1337 b4k4
2012-11-27, 12:53 PM
Not particularly epic, but cinema quality none the less. The party of level 1 B/X characters have just stumbled across a rather angry ogre. The party is low on health (read maybe 5 HP between them all) and not keen on this fight, but its do or die. Initiative is rolled and the party wins. The mage casts his one and only spell (light) on the ogres eyes. The ogre fails the saving throw and is now blind. The fighter and cleric move around behind the ogre and hack at his knees. Both connect solidly and the ogre stumbles to the ground, his knees less than functional. The ogre being blind and hobbled misses on his attack. Initiative is rolled again, and the ogre wins, but misses again. The wizard switches to his crossbow and plants a solid shot just as the fighter comes across with a mighty swing. One natural 20 later and the ogre is missing his head, and the party of level 1 characters has survived without a scratch.

Andreaz
2012-11-27, 01:37 PM
Teleporting inside a dire croc's belly.

Pal got eaten in a single bite, some swallow hole trick, and the DM described it as "You see only his right hand flailing as it too is sinking into the croc's throat".
Judging the guy more important to finish the fight than my own character, I enjoy the fact I'm in the same place in initiative by shoving an axe into its mouth, grabbing the guy's hand and casting Benign Transposition.

Fight continued, but by the time they managed to end it my guy was already digested dead(that's mayfly hitpoints for you).

Bacon Elemental
2012-11-28, 02:19 AM
Bull-rushing a level 20 BBEG into a sphere of annihilation at level 6.

killer_monk
2012-11-29, 11:37 AM
I was in a group in which the paladin ALWAYS called for his god's assistance but rarely got it.

We walk into the battle with the BBEG who's an evil 56th level cleric. I roll for some bluffs, and try to conivince him we're not the level 5's he's looking for. he's getting pissed and my DM is writing down all the spells this guy is gonna use when he destroys us

The Cleric pulls Blade Barrier and Gate right of the bat! I know that he's going to cast reverse resurrection on his next turn. The paladin then ask's his god for assistance. The DM Rolls for his god's help on the % dice. comes up 98%. He rolls confirmation: 97%. The cleric gets vaporized into nothingness and we get no XP for the Kill. Freakin' Paladins...

Andreaz
2012-11-29, 11:49 AM
The DM Rolls for his god's help on the % dice. comes up 98%. He rolls confirmation: 97%. The cleric gets vaporized into nothingness and we get no XP for the Kill. Freakin' Paladins...that's some pretty high chance of being heard...1 in 1670 at the least!

I guess that's how you guys got a cleric level 56...

Yukitsu
2012-11-30, 12:28 PM
I once built a kid scientist character, who was out and about in some weird wilderness in the middle of nowhere, when he found himself on top of a bear, in a river heading for a waterfall. At first he was all like "awww, I'm gonna die riding a bear off a waterfall." Which was shortly followed by "Wait, I'm gonna die riding a bear off a waterfall! Freaking metal! Hey guys, make a statue of this for my gravestone! Yeee-Hawwww!"

Sadly, the bear had the sense to turn around instead of plummeting us both to an amazing demise.

Alcyius
2012-12-01, 10:08 PM
In our current campaign, we've had two such deaths:

Party:
Human Male Captain(Jack, he hasn't come up with a name)
Gnome Male Mystic Theurge(Adonis)
Half-Orc Male Dragon Disciple(Cra---(last thing enemies utter))
Warforged Cleric/Healbot(Alcyius)
Goliath Male Favored Soul(Tiny)
Elf Female Arcane Archer/Ranger(Bane(This is important))
Human Male Warmage(Boom(Self-Explanatory))

Mind Flayer
We were fighting a Mind Flayer group that had assaulted and slaughtered a caravan. We were sneaking up, and had to take out the Mind Flayer standing watch. Bane(before acquiring this name) took out an arrow. Cue three natural 20's. Bane shot the Mind Flayer in the head just as he shouted to warn the others. She got the nickname "Bane of Mind Flayers". This is important later.

Ochre Paint
We had just left town to salvage a wreak off the coast in our undead airship. We got there, and suddenly there was a group of mutants on our ship. This was bad. Then we heard something under the deck. Alcyius was down there, working on a magic item(Eternal Wand of Inflict Light Wound). He was grappled by an Enlarged Invisible Mind Flayer that had teleported into the ship. It then proceeded to break the deck, and pull the Half-Orc under the deck. It was grappling us both, when an arrow lodged in the wood right next to it. It saw Bane. This was a younger Mind Flayer, and as the DM described it, "Mind Flayers tell the younger ones a tale to keep them in line. A tale of Bane." Understandably, he freaked out. He broke the hull, and teleported out, leaving Alcyius and Cra--- to fall to their death. Alcyius was impaled on coral, and the Cra--- went on to kill a bunch of mutants with lightning breath. The Mind Flayer went to flee through a Well of Many Worlds. As he was half-way through, Jack rammed the Well, and scraped across it. Three turns later, half a mind flayer had fallen through the Well, and we had a new paint job. Mind Flayers HATE us. Jack's player, an engineer, calculated that we hit it with the same force as a 60 MPG tractor trailer.

Cow Crap
We were in a city, fighting a bunch of Spellstitched quasi-undead commanded by a Spellstitched Troll that gave them tactical knowledge and intelligence. The Troll had a cow, with six horse legs, and an artifact stitched on it's rear. They ate Magic, so Alcyius was understandably scared. We killed the Troll without incident, and then a mindless zombie killed Bane's animal companion. While the Wizard, flying with Levitate and his familiar pushing him around while surfing on a Mage Hand, was going to Revivify the animal companion, the rest of us raced for the cow. The zombie heard a fart, turned, and was promptly turned into a crater. It had 3 HP. We were angry.


They aren't as funny when you're not there, but they were interesting.

Dr.Epic
2012-12-02, 01:40 PM
Making a marriage proposal to the Lady of Pain.

oblivion6
2012-12-02, 02:05 PM
Making a marriage proposal to the Lady of Pain.

That would be a pretty cool way to die...I assume you actually tried that?

Dr.Epic
2012-12-02, 02:59 PM
That would be a pretty cool way to die...I assume you actually tried that?

To be honest, I literally just found out what the Lady of Pain was yesterday, so no, not yet. But if I ever get the chance, that is, I play a character that has a few hundred thousand gold to spend on an engagement ring, I'm not too attached to that character, and we some how end up in Sigil, I'm totally gonna do it.

Doorhandle
2012-12-03, 06:43 AM
I once built a kid scientist character, who was out and about in some weird wilderness in the middle of nowhere, when he found himself on top of a bear, in a river heading for a waterfall. At first he was all like "awww, I'm gonna die riding a bear off a waterfall." Which was shortly followed by "Wait, I'm gonna die riding a bear off a waterfall! Freaking metal! Hey guys, make a statue of this for my gravestone! Yeee-Hawwww!"

Sadly, the bear had the sense to turn around instead of plummeting us both to an amazing demise.

...*Artwork fuel!*

Yukitsu
2012-12-04, 11:38 PM
...*Artwork fuel!*

If you make it, send me a copy. :D

Fayd
2012-12-06, 08:44 PM
So, one of my PCs had a contract out with a mental telepathic connection with THE single Neutral fae who had connections with both Courts. The deal was, if our telepathic link ever severed, to let both Courts know that the Third Faerie Queen was 1) Awake. 2) Alive. 3) Trying to steal an incredibly large source of mana to become a god herself like they are.

Due to poor spatial reasoning on my part and interrupting a divine ritual that caused an incredible explosion, my character died.

The contingency triggered, and the Neutral Fae told the Courts. They both marched their armies towards the huge mana tap in an attempt to claim it for themselves, kill the Third Sister, and all that. By the time they got there, the Third Sister was gone, so was the party... and so was the Mana. An NPC accompanying us grabbed it all for herself, becoming semidivine herself. They proceeded to pummel the entire continent and each other into submission and disaster.

So, by my death, I nearly caused Ragnarok. (In the "End of the World, Death of the Gods" sense))

Oops.

Cisturn
2012-12-07, 11:19 PM
A staunchly good character allowing himself to be destroyed by a corrupted uberly powerful angel to show exactly how far it had fallen, directly causing it's redemption.

Silva Stormrage
2012-12-08, 04:26 PM
Requires you to use a ring of X-Ray Vision, or some other way of extending your sighting into 'em.... but you ever used a mage hand spell to take apart your players brains:smallbiggrin:

Or Telekenises to rip out their ribes and stab them with those.

Or animate their own intestines and get those to try and strangle them:smallbiggrin:

And the part that the minmaxers hated the most? The Mage hand one was a insta kill that bypassed all the pure and utter cheese they used to protect their characters.

Um... 90% of that can't be done and is breaking several rules. Even if you can use x ray vision to see through skin (But for some reason still allowing you to see brains/intestines) you still don't have LoE to those things. You can't sue mage hand to instantly kill someone. One mage hand creates a hand of force... last I checked force effects can't just phase through someone's head. In order to reach the brain it would have to crack open the creature's skull to reach the brain. You don't have LoE to the ribs to use telekinesis and their rib's don't count as a separate object from the person for telekinesis purpose. Not sure what you are using for animating intestines, though you still don't have LoE and a creature's intestines don't count as separate object from the person so you can't "animate them" without animating the entire creature.

killer_monk
2013-01-23, 11:22 AM
hey everybody! been awhile since I've posted anything on my thread, but i'm here to tell you that what I've read is both captivating and funny! if anyone would like to join a Facebook group i specifically created for DM's then just search as follows: "Dungeon Master's Guild" , should be the one with the picture of the skull.

I like to say thanks to all those who posted and wish everyone a good day! hopefully i'll be seeing more stories from everyone in the future!:smallsmile:

tommhans
2013-03-06, 08:24 AM
Hi, just found this forum and thread and i thought id say some of my experiences^^

Ive had some awesome kills via gammaworld, where i was this flaming thing(cant remember class nor race, just that i was made of fire) but anyways, i also had this ability to fly, and when we met this custom built enemy my DM had made, a giant made out of busses(yes BUSSES) , he followed us up and cornered us ontop of a tower, i decided to be awesome, so i flew up like 20 feet and rushed into this giant robot, and dragged it with me down the tower, we both fell, in air i also punched this robot in the face before we both his the ground. He died , got crushed to bits, i somehow managed to survive due to insane saving throw :P

We also met this giant dragon once, (this also in gammaworld), where we got teleported into his lair. We had to run from him, as this was an escape encounter, we had no option but to run, but somehow one of my party members(not the fastest man in real life either so it fit him tbh) managed to fail almost every saving throw, so when we were like 5 routes from the teleporter that sent us to safety, he managed to fumble, he screamed hard, but to no use, the dragon ate him, and the others in the party managed to survive, the dragon tried to follow us into the portal but as just his eye was bigger than the portal he could not follow, what we did inside was find a truck, put everything we had of alcohol and oil, and then i lit it up and sent it into the angry dragons eye, the dragon did not bother us anymore, we only heard a scream and the portal dissapeared :(

In DnD one of my party's member managed to get killed in the middle of a boss battle against a "fake" giant. First the giant gets a critical so that he falls over to the other side of the room leaving him unconcious. Then he managed to get 20 on the saving dice throw and is "safe" but then i managed to fumble my magic missile and a splinter from the wood hit my friend that just survived a saving dice , making him unconcious again, on the next attack we kill the "fake" giant, and my other friend ran to the unconcious one and was going to heal, unfortunately, he fumbled, or as the Dm told " he ran towards his fallen friend, but managed to slip , allowing his knee to hit the fallen friend in the face, thus breaking his neck"

I laughed so hard i cried, but yeah had to burn the poor guy's character aswell so that he wouldnt turn undead, he wasnt that happy with us when that happened :p

Have read some really entertaining and fun deaths in this forum, keep it up hehe ^^

Jay R
2013-03-06, 10:08 AM
At a D&D convention in 1976 or so in Houston, our party of five sixth level characters defeated a 134 HD monster. (Original D&D, of course.)

Why was there a 134 HD monster in a tournament dungeon? To catch anybody too stupid to run away from it.

So we opened a door, saw a 134-headed hydra in a 10x20 room, and shut the door. Two minutes of planning later:

Player 1: I open the door.
Player 2: I cast Web in the room.
Player 3: I throw in a flask of oil.
Player 4: I throw in a flask of oil.
Player 5: I throw in a lit torch.
Player 1: I close the door.

1d6 points of damage to each head. Repeat. 1d6 more to each head, killing them all.

tommhans
2013-03-07, 02:58 AM
Jay R, that is an epic way of killing something that big hehe ^^

geeky_monkey
2013-03-07, 05:27 AM
So epic he did it twice.

(He posted the same story on the first page of this thread)

TuggyNE
2013-03-07, 05:53 AM
So epic he did it twice.

(He posted the same story on the first page of this thread)

I thought this thread seemed familiar. Borderline necro there. :smalltongue:

tommhans
2013-03-08, 02:15 AM
So epic he did it twice.

(He posted the same story on the first page of this thread)

i thought i had read it before but wasnt sure it was on this thread ^^ hehe

Chilingsworth
2013-03-08, 03:05 AM
My most recently deceased character died when he was knocked unconcious by a demon. The demon then grabbed him like a joint of meat and took a bite out of his midsection as my dm put it "slurping his intestines like speghetti."

killer_monk
2013-03-08, 09:05 AM
that's some pretty high chance of being heard...1 in 1670 at the least!

I guess that's how you guys got a cleric level 56...

no, he's just one of Those DMs:smallannoyed:

Wisecrack34
2017-01-13, 11:16 AM
Hey everybody! I'd like to talk about some of the craziest ways I've seen things die in D&D. I play AD&D, and I'm new to the series in general. My father, who also happens to be my DM, played AD&D back in the 80's. He's a great DM and me and my and friends adore having him DM because of how detailed he is. The only thing about him that we don't like is that he tries very hard to kill us off in the most elaborate ways possible, and succeeds at hurting us fairly often.So without further pause, I'd like to share with you some of my unfortunate events.


I made a Mannequin look feminine, put cuts (for splinters) in the "hole" and put poison in it, then put female clothes on it and handed it off to my VERY drunk "friend" (Aka Victim) He failed his first perception role and died from poisoning (he almost made it to a doctor because of how "quick" he was but it was fast acting poison)