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View Full Version : Am i really a role-player, or just a sad escapist?



xBlackWolfx
2013-02-18, 08:29 AM
I asked this on yahoo answers, and i still have yet to get a response, so i'm posting here, since in all honesty i'm more likely to get a response here (on a site specifically for rpg enthusiasts) than i am on a site that doesn't even have a seperate forum for rpgs.

Here's the link to my question, so i dont have to type it all over again here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130218044251AAm8LIz

Ozfer
2013-02-18, 09:07 AM
I have no idea what you are personally, but I can give you a general answer:

Escapism is not always a bad thing. In excess, yes, but taking a break is good for you. I consider it a bonus that RPG's manage to be a nice break, while still being a great mental excessive and social activity.

Chilingsworth
2013-02-18, 09:08 AM
First, if you wanted to avoid typing that out again, you could have just copy and pasted it. Like so (spoliered for length):


Am I really into roleplaying games?

Shortly after high school, I got into an rpg game that my half-brother gave me two years earlier, i never really cared for it that much. But I somehow discovered that you can play online. I ended up on a roleplaying server, no idea how i even knew what roleplaying was (since i had never even heard of it before). I played on there for years, despite the abusive and highly immature DMs running the place, I ultimately ended up banned from the forums purely bc i wasnt popular with them. I was never banned from the game mind you, though one DM really liked to stalk me and harrass me the entire time i was online. I quit bc though I wasnt banned he was doing everything in his power to make certain that i couldn't enjoy myself, or even interact much with others.

I've bought other roleplaying games since then, nwn2, dragon age origins, elderscrolls oblivion and skyrim, to be honest, i dont care for any of them. Infact to me, dragon age origins is absolute garbage, crappy story, crappy graphics, crappy gameplay, crappy balance, everything. Oh, and i also played WoW for a while, though i lost interest in it after several years bc i never made it to lvl 60 (and i quit shortly after cataclysm was announced, literally played for like 4 or 5 years and only once got a character past 50, and only one other past 20).

Since then i've really taken an interest in tabletop rpgs, mostly bc they allow a lot more possibilities than computer rpgs can. I've been trying to develop my own for years, for my own personnal enjoyment, but after working on it tirelessly for like 3 or 4 years now, i still have nothing to show for it besides a collection of polyhedral dice and folder filled with over 20 free rpgs and rpg samples i found online (plus three that i paid for).

Why do i like rpgs so much? the escapism. My life years ago, when i first started playing NWN (not nwn2, the first one), was absolute hell. My abusive father was using me as a slave, i had no freedom, i was forced to 'work' out in the woods with him from 8 in the morning till 10 at night just trying to dig up some buried treasure (he's really into conspiracy theories and other garbage, infact he's so screwed up he thinks that the gold he was looking for was buried by the spanish '300 years ago'). On the freak free days i got, i would literally spend it all, as in 10 or 15 hours at a time, playing NWN nonstop. It allowed me social interaction with the outside world, i could run around and do things, i could have adventures, i could be someone great, and i could be someone with immense supernatural powers (i obviously preferred the magical classes). As much as i hated the insanely abusive DMs who ran the place, i still loved being there, and i wish i could go back (which i cant bc the DM that ran me off is now the administrator, and the community is dying off so its not much of a server anymore), and recently i've even thought about joining an online server in NWN 2, though I find the controls of the game unyieldy, and i've only ever once managed to make it past the part in the game where you have to invade a bandit hideout in neverwinter city. But I would love to be able to play again. The past several years of my life have been nothing but a waste, all its all bc i want to be able to escape to a fantasy world again, now i'm thinking i should just quit my homebrew rpg, complete with custom setting, and go play on an online server like i did when i was young.

But the oddity of all this is, actually roleplaying my character is a burden, i like having a meaningful story and pretending to be someone else who has a lot more interesting life than me, but rping overall was annoying, and i was particually upset over how hard it was for me to get approval from the other players. I wasnt very popular there and i had few friends, and i wasnt exactly considered the best roleplayer on the server. Mostly, i just did for the adventure and social interaction. Right now, i dont know if i'm truly into roleplaying games and actual roleplaying, or if i'm just into escapism.

Do i truly belong on a roleplaying server, or am i just a sad joke?

As for an answer to your questions, I'd first point out that the choices you listed are not mutually exclusive. :smalltongue:

Second, I've had a similiar (though nowhere near as bad a you describe, as far as real life craps goes) experience. Incidentally, the NWN forum you're refering to wouldn't happen to have been called Avlis, would it?

Anyway, my experience: My girlfriend had recently lost her memory of me do to epileptic siezure. As a result, I sank into a depression deep enough to force me to quit my job and go on disability. I discovered Avlis around this time, and soon devoted most of my free time to playing in it. I found friends there and something to take my mind off my pain. This lasted for 2-3 years, then I had escalating disagreements with some of the admins that lead to my being banned. Before all this crap happened, I also had a tabletop group that I still game with today, after about ten years.

Anyway, being banned from Avlis was probably one of the better things to happen to me. It forced me to try to make something of myself. Unfortunately for me, I managed to screw that up, too (Oh, I had lots of help in screwing it up, but I'm still ultimately the one who did it,) So, I'm not much better off than I was then, but at least I had the chance, and a few good years with my second girlfriend that wouldn't have been possible had I stayed on Avlis. (Something else I managed to foul up, again with ample help, but still...:smallsigh:) EDIT: And... rereading that made my head hurt. Sorry about the grammar!:smallredface:

Anyway, the upshot: If you think online gaming is dragging you down, it probably is. If you have the ability, give it a rest. Go to school, meet people that way. However, I personally found my rl gaming group to be a great help to me. If you can find a good one, you'll find friends there.

More importantly, (and I sure I'm being cliche here) get professional help if you haven't already. Depending on where you live, you may have varrious job training or employment services that are worth looking into.

As I said, my experiences sound somewhat similiar to yours, if much less extreme. At least, I've tried to numb emotional pain by roleplaying. It can work, but it's not a permenant solution. On the other hand, if you use it as a way to get out of the house and hang out with friends, it can be a very positive thing indeed.

Lastly, feel free to contact me if you want someone to talk to. I'm not often on any form of IM, but I'll respond to PM's on this site, or emails to my yahoo account.

Kish
2013-02-18, 09:25 AM
What do you mean by "RPing overall"?

If you mean, you find acting like you're genuinely a character in that world, rather than a loot-gathering avatar controlled by you, to be annoying...then the next question to ask is why "roleplayer" is apparently an important part of your self-image.

Beyond that, I'm finding a lot of your terms vague, I'm afraid. "For the adventure"=does this mean you liked playing the actual game but didn't like the "spend hours standing around in bars narrating doesn't-actually-even-fit-the-game backstory at each other" thing a lot of people in online RPGs do and expect anyone who calls himself/herself a roleplayer to do? Or that you liked casting spells in battles but didn't care about advancing the plot? Or...? When you say tabletop games allow "a lot more possibilities," do you mean plot choices, or actions during combat, or...?

Ozfer
2013-02-18, 09:30 AM
Oh sorry, I didn't read your full post. My revision is: If you enjoy roleplaying, do it. If not, don't do it. Honestly, I've found that online games, while they certainly have their strengths, the best roleplaying can be found in RL games. Whatever you do, just make sure you do other things with real people (Although an RL gaming group pretty much counts as that).

Raimun
2013-02-18, 10:13 AM
I recommend watching some movies and reading books. They can give you some inspiration to roleplaying a character.

Kane0
2013-02-18, 03:57 PM
I can't really answer that for you sorry, but I can tell you that many of the 'rpg' fans in my group are really just there for the socialization. So long as everyone is enjoying themselves I don't care if my players are there for the RPG or there to hang out with us.

That said, if you ever play NWN again check out Edon Revisited. Good world, good people if they are ever on.
IP:203.122.195.221:5121 and requires a slightly older version of CEP available via link on their forum (http://revisited.hidden-waters.com/)

Arbane
2013-02-18, 04:38 PM
In the words of C. S. Lewis, the people who get most upset about escapism are jailers.

Slipperychicken
2013-02-18, 05:19 PM
Are you enjoying it?
If yes, great! Do what you like, and don't let anyone get you down.

If no, find something else, go to top.

randomhero00
2013-02-18, 05:34 PM
I think I can give you a fairly definitive answer... if you ever ask yourself if you are a roleplayer, then you are :smallsmile: (works the same way if you're crazy :smallwink: )

xBlackWolfx
2013-02-19, 03:43 AM
No, i never played on avlis, i played on a server called amia, which had a rediculously huge population when i played (though not so much anymore). By rediculous, i mean the 'number of allowed players', or w/e it was called was maxed out every hour of every day. the only way to get in was to sit there, wait for the counter to say that a person left, then quickly click the join button before someone else did, and it would typically take me quite a few tries to get in. the place was a lot like an mmorpg really.

and besides that, the server was quite liberal, they weren't a hard-core rp server, and there was really little to no rules as to what you could play, you could play good drow for instance, infact there was quite a few of them. and initially you didnt even have to play an official race, sometimes even the DMs would help you to make your character a nonstandard race (I heard once that these two girls got to play catpeople). this became rarer later though, as they added in more and more subraces into the server. when i quit, there were easily more than 20 different races, which included things like genasi, full-blooded orcs, hobgoblins, kobolds, goblins (those two were quite popular), faeries, like more than 10 species of elf (including aquatic elves,though those apparently required permission from the staff to play, for w/e reason), duerger, svirneblin, and some things with names i dont recognize like 'ogrillion' or something like that. part of the appeal of the server for me is that you could be virtually anything you wanted. as for the setting, it was a heavily modified version of the forgotten realms (obviously, since you had goblins and duerger and even drow walking around the cities like they were ordinary citizens). they didnt even ask that you know anything about the forgotten realms (which i did not when i started).

I havent had much luck with finding other places to play, bc i'm used to the highly liberal setting that amia had, most servers won't even let you play good drow. not to mention most seem to expect you to be lore experts on the forgotten realms, which i was not, and now-a-days, i dont really care for that setting even.

I havent played an rpg online in years, i used to play an (evil) drow priestess of lolth, but now that wouldnt appeal to me at all. yes, i played a female drow, mind you that was solely bc females had more rights in drow society than males, i just didnt want to play a second-class citizen in drow society.

The Glyphstone
2013-02-19, 09:51 AM
I don't know about escapism, but I would question your judgement if you thought Yahoo Answers would actually answer your question in any substantial way.:smallwink:

TuggyNE
2013-02-19, 08:06 PM
I don't know about escapism, but I would question your judgement if you thought Yahoo Answers would actually answer your question in any substantial way.:smallwink:

Butů but it has "answers" right there in the name!

Studoku
2013-02-19, 08:47 PM
Butů but it has "answers" right there in the name!
It also has Yahoo is its name. At best, this cancels it out.

xBlackWolfx
2013-02-19, 08:53 PM
Years ago, it was the best site to ask questions on. You got results quickly, and they were reliable.

Everyone claims you cant trust anything online. You cant trust wikipedia, even though i've found it to be far far more reliable than scientific articles and television. If you dont trust wikipedia, or even yahoo answers of all things, then why do you trust this site for anything? If i cant trust yahoo answers, i wouldnt trust this site for anything.

Hiro Protagonest
2013-02-19, 09:40 PM
Years ago, it was the best site to ask questions on. You got results quickly, and they were reliable.

Everyone claims you cant trust anything online. You cant trust wikipedia, even though i've found it to be far far more reliable than scientific articles and television. If you dont trust wikipedia, or even yahoo answers of all things, then why do you trust this site for anything? If i cant trust yahoo answers, i wouldnt trust this site for anything.

Wikipedia really cleaned up its act a few years ago (I'm still unsure of whether the effective ranges of the guns on their are correct, but meh. As long as I can find out what an Mk 14 Enhanced Battle Rifle is, I'm good), but Yahoo Answers... is still just someone asking questions to people who feel that their free time is best spent surfing Yahoo Answers.

Slipperychicken
2013-02-19, 09:45 PM
Everyone claims you cant trust anything online.

Wikipedia's good for when you want a quick answer and the stakes aren't too high. For serious research, not so much.


I get what people mean, though. Some lawyers (or was it cops?) have used Wikipedia to back up their arguments. :smalleek:

The Glyphstone
2013-02-19, 09:52 PM
Wikipedia is a fantastic secondary source, because of their stringent policies on citations. Citing Wikipedia is for fools, citing the sources Wikipedia cites is where trust comes from.

AuraTwilight
2013-02-20, 01:12 AM
Years ago, it was the best site to ask questions on. You got results quickly, and they were reliable.

Everyone claims you cant trust anything online. You cant trust wikipedia, even though i've found it to be far far more reliable than scientific articles and television. If you dont trust wikipedia, or even yahoo answers of all things, then why do you trust this site for anything? If i cant trust yahoo answers, i wouldnt trust this site for anything.

Wikipedia is an website that is commonly edited with falsehoods for the sake of vanity and ego. Yahoo Answers is inhabited by trolls and people who think they're experts when they're anything but, and this site is an insular community that rigidly criticizes others' posts, homebrews, ideas, and so forth to achieve a standard of quality, and specializes in a specific and narrow field.

SowZ
2013-02-20, 02:06 AM
There is more accountability, since if you frequently espouse nonsense on a board like this you will be discredited quickly. Anyway, I don't think you should knock yourself for being 'an escapist.' As long as you don't play games to the exclusion of RL relationships and other things like career and such, it is as valid as any other hobby and people always have different reasons for their hobbies.

For example, if there is a tennis club, and one guy says, "I play tennis mostly for the exercise and flexibility," it would be silly if someone accused him of not really being a tennis player since he doesn't do it just for love of the sport.

huttj509
2013-02-20, 03:39 AM
Wikipedia is an website that is commonly edited with falsehoods for the sake of vanity and ego. Yahoo Answers is inhabited by trolls and people who think they're experts when they're anything but, and this site is an insular community that rigidly criticizes others' posts, homebrews, ideas, and so forth to achieve a standard of quality, and specializes in a specific and narrow field.

Did you mean 'critiques' there? Critiquing something involves giving a detailed evaluation of something, criticizing it is putting it down.

Wait, you may have used the right word...depends on the mood the particular thread's going in.

AuraTwilight
2013-02-20, 04:54 AM
English is like my third language; I was attempting to reference the concept of constructive criticism.

Hiro Protagonest
2013-02-20, 01:59 PM
Wikipedia is an website that is commonly edited with falsehoods for the sake of vanity and ego.

That's why you have those [1]s and [2]s that link to the little links at the bottom.

There's also [citation needed].

The Glyphstone
2013-02-20, 02:10 PM
That's why you have those [1]s and [2]s that link to the little links at the bottom.

There's also [citation needed].

And the relentlessly patrolling bots and manual users ready to revert malicious/incorrect edits.

AuraTwilight
2013-02-20, 02:19 PM
That's why you have those [1]s and [2]s that link to the little links at the bottom.

There's also [citation needed].

I'm aware, but until those are corrected, they exist. And sometimes they go uncorrected with unreliable citations.

MukkTB
2013-02-20, 03:11 PM
Do you feel that your gaming is getting in the way of other possible accomplishments?

This is a question you should answer for yourself honestly. If your answer is "No I just do it now and then to relax," then you're in good shape. If you answer, "I don't get **** done because I'm gaming," then you're in trouble. When you're answer is "I could be doing something better with my life," followed by "But I don't care to," and/or "I would fail if I tried," that's when you're a sad escapist.

GnomeGninjas
2013-02-20, 04:36 PM
Wikipedia is an website that is commonly edited with falsehoods for the sake of vanity and ego. Yahoo Answers is inhabited by trolls and people who think they're experts when they're anything but, and this site is an insular community that rigidly criticizes others' posts, homebrews, ideas, and so forth to achieve a standard of quality, and specializes in a specific and narrow field.

Wikipedia's reliability depends a lot on the topic at hand. If it is a popular celebrity, game, religion, or political opinion then you will get a lot more people messing it up for the lulz than if it is a rare species of fungus, scientific theory(other than evolution), mathematical theory or political movement from the late 1500s.