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Dire Penguin
2006-12-07, 05:10 PM
It's kind of weird, but why would a walnut turn into a pigeon. I vote that this is an absurd, yet funny thing...but why couldn't it have made other animals too?

cuchulainshound
2006-12-07, 07:09 PM
I vote that I really don't care about your poll. (Well, ok, only enough to point that out.)

Demented
2006-12-07, 07:12 PM
Using an incredibly powerful artifact of the titans to crack walnuts has got to result in some weird effect, no? After all, imagine if it didn't turn the walnut into a pigeon... What's the point of an incredibly powerful artifact if all it does to a walnut is crack it?

Of course, the inevitable question is... Why pigeons?

Aliquid
2006-12-07, 07:26 PM
Considering the artifact's original purpose (long before Stanley got his hands on it).... I am trying to see if I can find a connection between that and pigeons.

inky13112
2006-12-07, 08:14 PM
Absurd but funny. I laughed at it, but I can't possibly imagine why an incredibly powerful artifact would make pigeons. Blow the walnuts to smithereens maybe, make them pigeons, is kind of absurd. Still really funny though.

TinSoldier
2006-12-07, 10:14 PM
If you hammer at the kernel of the logic long enough, the idea will not seem as nutty as it first appears to be...

LordOfNarf
2006-12-07, 10:27 PM
magically, its reasonalble, but it is idiotic.
<----is not a big fan of Erfworld so far

Aliquid
2006-12-07, 11:46 PM
The problem with thinking "why is an artifact making pigeons", is people are assuming that an artifact is an amazing magic item made by some super-powerful wizard for some important purpose. Which is very likely not the case in this scenario.

First off, I'm guessing it wasn't originally made as a weapon. The "titans" likely made it as a toy for infants. Take a look at it, it is a child's toy. A plastic mallet, and when you hit it hard enough it probably squeeks. Or it might be a croquet mallet... either way it isn't an overly important item for the Titans.

Consider the gem that went off the Elvis's robe... it wasn't too important and wasn't noticed, but to the people of Erfworld it was a huge treasure. Same thing with the Arkenhammer.. something amusing, but not missed by the Titans.

I wouldn't be suprised if it had all sorts of fancy tricks. It might be able to make bunnies, and other creatures too... Stanley just doesn't know how to use it, and he accidently does the right thing for pigeons from time to time

Om
2006-12-08, 10:37 AM
Has no one here any experience with magic? Pigeons are a standard result of any powerful magic artefact. Indeed students in UL have classified the base unit of magic, the thaum, as the amount of magic needed to create a white pigeon or three billiard balls.

Jacklu
2006-12-08, 11:05 AM
Obviously a tool of such magical potential is bound to have unforeseen side affects when used for such medial tasks like cracking open walnuts. The real question for me is what affect did it have on the walnuts that it simply cracked open?(aside from breaking them into pieces of course)

TinSoldier
2006-12-08, 11:06 AM
They turned into tiny self-contained worlds of their own!

Jacklu
2006-12-08, 11:09 AM
With any luck they won't become pigeons at a later date. You know, after being eaten.

Solara
2006-12-08, 03:43 PM
It's not the pigeons that are funny, but the idea that this artifact is probably going to be doing weird, unforeseen, and completely random stuff all the time. :cool:

Athelis
2006-12-08, 04:03 PM
That scene was actually one of my favorite parts so far.

Brady_Kj
2006-12-08, 05:34 PM
It's not the pigeons that are funny, but the idea that this artifact is probably going to be doing weird, unforeseen, and completely random stuff all the time. :cool:
Quoted for great truth.

Anyway, it's implausible for anything but a god's artifact. Creating a living animal out of something else, even if that something else is organic matter.

It's the best.

ghost_warlock
2006-12-08, 09:14 PM
Turquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly!

*Ahem* Arrrgh! the Living Sword would approve. He's a Chaotic neutral intelligent sword with the ability to shapechange into fruit (though he retains his hardness regardless). He can't shapechange into anything else, though; just fruit. Why? Part of the nature of chaos - deal with it. It makes perfect sense by not making any sort of sense.

Demented
2006-12-08, 11:12 PM
Quoted for great truth.

Anyway, it's implausible for anything but a god's artifact. Creating a living animal out of something else, even if that something else is organic matter.

It's the best.

Implausible for anything but a god's artifact or absurd probability devices.

battleburn
2006-12-09, 07:17 AM
Depends how it works really.
If this is supposed to be a weapon, then it is reasonable to believe that every 4th or 5th hit will result in the enemy changing into a pigeon and therefore be dealt with.

magic8BALL
2006-12-10, 06:15 AM
It's totally absurd.... but that's WHY it's funny.

...but you could make stats for it in any D&D campaign... when the weapon hits, there is a 20% chance the target is "Baleful Polymorph Any Object (or somthing)"ed into a pidgeon, no save... I'm not sure why you would... but it's an artifact... people thought differently back when it was made, yes?

Amon Star
2006-12-11, 12:25 PM
Artifacts can do what they want, that's my opinion.

Constantinople
2006-12-11, 01:08 PM
For want of a better word, the artefact has been "programed" to do something when it's used to do a certain action, right? Perhaps, when used on an enemy, it turns said enemy into ashes? Ok?
So what happens when it's used on an innocent walnut? "Hmm... what should I do?" the artefact thinks to itself. "Enemies into ashes... so... Walnuts into... pigeons?" And then does just that.

Cytherea
2006-12-12, 03:58 PM
With any luck they won't become pigeons at a later date. You know, after being eaten.

Oh, god. XD That mental image made me giggle.

Although that would be completely awesome. I wonder if perhaps it just has a time-delay for things, depending on *EXACTLY* how hard you hit them? Sometimes, it's instantaneous, others, it takes a couple of hours... :smallconfused:

Maurog
2006-12-13, 05:28 AM
It resets to pigeons. And Stanley has no idea how to utilize it properly.

Jorkens
2006-12-13, 09:36 AM
Considering the artifact's original purpose (long before Stanley got his hands on it).... I am trying to see if I can find a connection between that and pigeons.
I'm guessing it's just some sort of 'magic leakage' tbh. A tool of the titans is likely to be a very magical object, and even when its powers aren't being invoked, random slightly magical things are going to happen if you start hitting things with it. And as Om pointed out, producing pigeons is a fairly standard (and nicely surreal) magical effect to have happen.

Learnedguy
2006-12-14, 11:39 AM
I can see no reason why a magic artefact could randomly turn stuff into pidgeons, by mistake.

Jorkens
2006-12-14, 12:36 PM
I can see no reason why a magic artefact could randomly turn stuff into pidgeons, by mistake.
Erm, because it's magic?

Aliquid
2006-12-14, 02:03 PM
I can see no reason why a magic artefact could randomly turn stuff into pidgeons, by mistake.It might not be random at all. I get the impression that this is an artifact that was found at some point in time, and the people of Erfworld do not really know what it is.

To put it simply, Stanley isn't using the hammer properly. He doesn't know how to use it properly, and he only knows a small fraction of the hammer's abilities.

Someone who fully understands how to use the hammer could probably make a pigeon every time, by using the hammer properly. Stanley just happens to do this by mistake around 20% of the time.

If he had any wisdom... he could probably figure it out himself with trial and error.

EddieBird
2006-12-14, 06:24 PM
Dieties often have favorite animals or "mascots".
Bast=Cats
Juno=Peacocks
Indri=Elephants
ect.
Perhaps the titan who created the arkenhammer had a special fondness for pigeons.

TinSoldier
2006-12-15, 11:43 PM
If Elvis created the Arkenhammer, then the walnuts should be turning into peanut butter and banana sandwiches :smallbiggrin:

Duffren
2006-12-16, 01:10 AM
The hammer is obviously being misused, which appears to be something Stanley does with a lot of things (using a Croakamancer for the summoning spell, using an ancient artifact to crack nuts, promoting people based on looks). If he used the hammer properly it would probably do something spectacular.

Furin_Mirado
2006-12-16, 10:34 AM
Well, walnuts consist of a shell with something inside...much like an egg. It's a bit of a stretch but that's the best connection I could come up with.

Although I like the idea that it's a weapon designed to incapacitate the enemy by turning them into pigeons. I guess we'll have to wait and see. No doubt more interesting theories will be made once we see more arkentools or if the arkenhammer displays new abilities, heh.

bingo_bob
2006-12-16, 03:10 PM
I think that it's just one of the hammer's random functions. It was one of the tools to create the world after all.

Maybe that's how pigeons came into existence.

Of course, the real question is, can you turn a pigeon back into a walnut?

Furin_Mirado
2006-12-17, 11:28 PM
I think that it's just one of the hammer's random functions. It was one of the tools to create the world after all.

Maybe that's how pigeons came into existence.

Of course, the real question is, can you turn a pigeon back into a walnut?
Maybe you whack the pigeons using the other end of the hammer?:smalltongue:

Maurog
2006-12-18, 03:05 AM
And once in four or five times they will turn back into nuts.

charles
2006-12-21, 07:49 AM
I'm betting the hammer can either DESTROY an item hit by it, or IMPROVE it.

Maybe the green side improves while the red side destroys but maybe its how you use it or completely random. Walnuts are improved into pigeons, maybe other items are improved into something else (if they aren't destroyed).

Azukar
2006-12-30, 07:20 PM
The Arkenhammer's stated weakness is "Clarity if purpose", among other things. I think the people saying that nobody really knows what it's meant to do or how to make it work might be right. After all, in just about any system of gods, it's not man's place to understand their workings.

Adrius
2007-01-01, 01:28 AM
I haven't seen this mentioned in these exact words.. so I will..

It's a tool of creation, presumably used by the titans when forming the world.

It's unsurprising that even an idiot smacking walnuts with it will spontaneously create life every few times.

Jorkens
2007-01-01, 01:08 PM
I haven't seen this mentioned in these exact words.. so I will..

It's a tool of creation, presumably used by the titans when forming the world.

It's unsurprising that even an idiot smacking walnuts with it will spontaneously create life every few times.
It's a tool of Dwagon Taming and Lightning Heaving too, though... I don't think there is a particularly simple analysis along the lines of "this is what it was meant for and that's why it creates pigeons."

Maurog
2007-01-01, 02:24 PM
I sure hope we're gonna see Stanley hit someone with it in combat...

Kalir
2007-01-04, 04:16 PM
Since when does magic ever have to make sense? Yes, you can force it into a reasonable effect with words and gestures that affect it,but what if you don't know what the words do? Stanley's lucky the thing hasn't bounced right back and stabbed him in the eye.

MinusInnocence
2007-01-05, 03:42 AM
If I were a villain (ok Stanley isn't necessarily a VILLAIN but were I to say, "If I were a Head of State" I could just narrow it down to villain because that's the only kind of Head of State I would be) I, too, would be so heady with power I would misuse divine artifacts left over from the creation of the universe.

You don't even want to know what I'd do with Kronos's Slinky.

The_Old_Fox
2007-01-09, 11:04 PM
a nice bit of random humor.

Of course can't you use pigeons to send messages? I suppose you have to train them and perhaps they need to be a special breed. whatever, just reaching.

lets stick with it being funny and random.

Grod_The_Giant
2007-01-10, 06:28 AM
Has no one here any experience with magic? Pigeons are a standard result of any powerful magic artefact. Indeed students in UL have classified the base unit of magic, the thaum, as the amount of magic needed to create a white pigeon or three billiard balls.

UU, I think you mean. Unseen University.

still, always nice to see a fellow Diskworld fan.

Azukar
2007-01-10, 06:36 AM
Might find this forum crawling with disCworld fans, Grod ;)

Azukar
2007-01-10, 06:37 AM
Hey, I'm not a pixie anymore! woo hoo, go Azukar.

RandomNPC
2007-01-22, 07:23 PM
maybe it teleports a broken open walnut into the place of the walnut, but where the broken open walnuts are stored there has been a recent pigeon invasion.