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View Full Version : the Town vs Jedi/Sith Squirrel Trial



wxdruid
2006-12-14, 09:18 AM
Here is where we will start the Town vs Jedi/Sith Squirrel Trial

a few ground rules

everyone that is required for the trial will be heard (I will determine if your voice needs to be heard)
I will tolerate no disruptions in the courtroom (you will be asked to leave, if you don't I will call the police and they will cart you off in handcuffs)
I am the Judge, I have the final say, I will listen to all arguments, just be patient.

Would a representive from the police force and the Jedi/Sith Squirrel please appear before me.

The Jedi/Sith Squirrel is accused of a double murder

detailsó http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29085&page=8#219

Would Jedi/Sith Squirrel please state your plea for the record.

possible witnesses

Godric
Ravina
Krysta
Iames
NPC's

Kyrian
2006-12-18, 12:03 PM
The involved NPCs enter and wait.

Lord Iames Osari
2006-12-18, 12:47 PM
Iames enters, as do the police fairies.

AmberVael
2006-12-18, 01:04 PM
The Sith Squirrel appears to be running a little late.
The Dancing Man, despite not being there in any way, and not speaking, assures everyone that the Squirrel is coming, but that he had some other matters to attend to first.
These matters had NOTHING to do with Death Acorn, he makes sure to mention.

Renegade Paladin
2006-12-18, 03:12 PM
Gaheris entered the courtroom and sat down in the back, wishing to learn more about the Town's legal processes.

wxdruid
2006-12-18, 05:17 PM
Gwen sighs, Will the Jedi/Sith Squirrel please appear before me and enter his plea in the case of the double murders.

AmberVael
2006-12-18, 05:20 PM
The squirrel scampers and bounces in, its eyes gleaming. It suddenly wonders how it is going to convey his plea.

wxdruid
2006-12-18, 05:21 PM
Jedi/Sith Squirrel, how do you plead?

AmberVael
2006-12-18, 05:32 PM
The Dancing Man appears in a poof of raisins. He confers with the squirrel briefly.
"My client wishes to plead 'medium rare'."

wxdruid
2006-12-18, 05:35 PM
Medium Rare? He can plead guilty, not guilty or similiar, but medium rare is not acceptable.

Dancing Man are you going to be the Jedi/Sith Squirrel's legal representation?

AmberVael
2006-12-18, 05:38 PM
The Dancing Man wonders what the plea of 'similar' is, but decides not to go for it, since he figures it would be similar to being cooked medium rare. Something that his client does not wish to experience. He ponders the options, then pounds the options with his cane, then comes up with another plea.
"Yes. And not guilty."

wxdruid
2006-12-18, 05:40 PM
Thank you, Dancing Man. The plea of not guilty is entered into the record.

Iames will you please call your first witness.

Lord Iames Osari
2006-12-18, 06:17 PM
I call the female NPC to the stand. ((I'm not going to bother with the numbers, and I'll have to go after this anyway))

wxdruid
2006-12-18, 06:18 PM
(Whoever is going to be the female NPC...Which I guess is Kyrian)

Will the female NPC please take the stand.

Kyrian
2006-12-18, 08:46 PM
The female NPC takes the stand.

Wukei
2006-12-18, 08:53 PM
Wukei enters and sits in the audience away from Gaheris, wishing to watch for once rather than participate.

wxdruid
2006-12-19, 08:12 AM
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you (insert Diety's name)?

Kyrian
2006-12-19, 08:21 AM
I do so swear.

wxdruid
2006-12-19, 08:54 AM
Iames, you may question the witness.

Lord Iames Osari
2006-12-19, 11:11 AM
Miss, would you please describe what happened for us?

Kyrian
2006-12-19, 05:34 PM
I came into the station, since my brother was in jail for lying during his trial. I saw that he was dead and started to ask about it when that squirrel entered and started attacking me.

Lord Iames Osari
2006-12-19, 09:44 PM
And after that?

Kyrian
2006-12-22, 06:21 PM
((Hey look...there is more....))

Godric called out for Iames, and the squirrel killed me.

Lord Iames Osari
2006-12-22, 09:17 PM
Thank you, Miss. Your Honor, I have no further questions.

wxdruid
2006-12-22, 09:18 PM
Dancing Man, do you have any questions for the witness?

AmberVael
2006-12-22, 11:11 PM
The Dancing Man jolts back into sleep, then sleep walks up to the stand.
He then realizes that he isn't being called up as a witness, and steps into his hat, which is apparently over on his chair next to the squirrel. He steps back out and and pulls a card out. He clears his throat with a scrub (which looks decidedly uncomfortable) and then asks:
"What- is your name?"

Kyrian
2006-12-28, 04:59 PM
NPC #56781s9-2

((The sad thing is...I'm pretty sure I'm correct...I just typed that from memory...))

AmberVael
2006-12-28, 05:00 PM
The Dancing Man takes a step back, eyeing the NPC warily.
"What- is your quest?"

Kyrian
2006-12-28, 05:02 PM
My quest? What do you mean, my quest? I just came to get my brother out of jail, when I found he'd been killed by that squirrel.

AmberVael
2006-12-28, 05:03 PM
"Why- am I quoting a movie which has no relation to this trial at all?"
The Dancing Man's eyes are very large and bulbous by the this point.

Kyrian
2006-12-28, 05:04 PM
Do I have to answer this?

AmberVael
2006-12-28, 05:11 PM
"Yes. No. Maybe. Yes."
The Dancing Man nods, his eyes very wide and staring.

wxdruid
2006-12-28, 07:14 PM
Dancing Man, do you have any relevant questions for the witness?

AmberVael
2006-12-28, 07:15 PM
"I have quite a few revelant questions."
((That misspelling was on purpose))

wxdruid
2006-12-28, 07:20 PM
Please continue.

AmberVael
2006-12-28, 07:23 PM
The Dancing Man suddenly becomes stiff and proper.
"We have already ascertained that my client entered the station and assaulted you. Now, in what way, or ways, did he attack you?"

Kyrian
2006-12-29, 09:53 PM
It used some weapon I've never seen before, and attacked me with lightning.

AmberVael
2006-12-31, 02:20 PM
"If you had never seen this weapon before, how did you know it was a weapon?"
The Dancing Man raises an eyebrow over his hat. How he managed that... it looks quite painful, or uncomfortable at least, but it doesn't seem to bother him.

Kyrian
2006-12-31, 06:00 PM
Because it hurt.

AmberVael
2006-12-31, 06:05 PM
"Exactly. No more questions, your honor."
The Dancing Man sits down. In the air.

In the back, another NPC wonders just what on earth that was supposed to have proven.

wxdruid
2007-01-01, 12:47 PM
NPC, you may step down

Iames, please call your next witness.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-03, 01:47 PM
I call Godric to the stand.

((I'll control him if you want, but it might be better if someone else did it))

wxdruid
2007-01-03, 01:54 PM
Will Godric please come forward and take the stand.

McBish
2007-01-03, 05:53 PM
Godric goes and takes the stand.

wxdruid
2007-01-03, 05:56 PM
Godric, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you (insert Diety's name)?

McBish
2007-01-03, 05:58 PM
I do so swear.

wxdruid
2007-01-03, 06:14 PM
Iames, you may question the witness.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-03, 06:17 PM
Godric, tell us what happened during the incident in question.

McBish
2007-01-03, 06:25 PM
Well I was doing some paper work this random guy came in and punched me and locked himself in a cell. Then some squirrel came in and mauled the guys face. Then it pulled out some sort of energy weapon and cut of the guys head. Then the guy somehow told me he was pressing charges and I reminded him he recently had his head cut off. Then another NPC came inside and asked what happened. I told him then the energy weapon flew inside and the NPC dodged it and the squirrel started attacking him with lightning. I told the squirrel to stop and called for Iames. Iames came and tried to stop the squirrel but it managed to kill this NPC as well then ran away.

Kyrian
2007-01-03, 10:22 PM
The female NPC leaves the stand.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-04, 12:38 PM
Iames nods. Thank you, Godric. Would you tell the court how it is that the NPCs are able to testify here today?

McBish
2007-01-04, 01:09 PM
Well my guess is that you raised them Iames, at least I assumed I mean people don't just pop out of their graves unless they're zombies. It's either that or the whole breaking of continuity feild this courthouse has.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-04, 01:27 PM
((Pretty sure that I mention raising them in the thread *goes to check*))

McBish
2007-01-04, 01:29 PM
Oh yeah you did raise them sorry, I was still a little freaked out about the whole evil squirrel killer thing.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-04, 03:04 PM
Thank you, Godric. Your Honor, I have no further questions for Godric.

wxdruid
2007-01-05, 08:47 AM
Dancing Man, do you have any questions for the witness?

AmberVael
2007-01-05, 02:02 PM
The Dancing Man nods and gets up, pacing in front of Godric.
"What was the squirrel's appearance when the attack occured?"

McBish
2007-01-05, 11:43 PM
He appeared to be a squirrel, one that could shoot lighting and had some crazy sword thing. It's eyes also turned red and crazyed as it attacked the second NPC.

AmberVael
2007-01-05, 11:46 PM
"How many porcupines were present?"
The Dancing Man seems to think this a very important question.

McBish
2007-01-05, 11:48 PM
I don't belive any porcupines where present, but I was a little distracted by the killer squirrel at the time so I might have missed them.

AmberVael
2007-01-05, 11:50 PM
"So you admit that there may have been porcupines present?"

McBish
2007-01-05, 11:51 PM
It is a possiblity that there were porcupines hiding somewhere. I didn't see any.

AmberVael
2007-01-05, 11:52 PM
"Good. No more questions."

wxdruid
2007-01-06, 10:44 AM
Godric, you may step down.

Iames, please call your next witness.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-06, 11:13 AM
I call the defendant to the stand.

wxdruid
2007-01-06, 11:14 AM
Will the Jedi/Sith Squirrel please take the stand.

AmberVael
2007-01-06, 11:15 AM
The squirrel scampers up to the stand.

wxdruid
2007-01-06, 11:17 AM
Jedi/Sith squirrel, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you (insert diety's name)?

AmberVael
2007-01-06, 11:19 AM
The squirrel chatters a little.
It doesn't seem to be speech.

wxdruid
2007-01-06, 11:21 AM
{squirrel} Jedi/Sith squirrel, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you (insert diety's name)?

AmberVael
2007-01-06, 11:25 AM
The Dancing Man stands.
"He does."

wxdruid
2007-01-06, 11:27 AM
Iames, you may question the witness

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-06, 02:56 PM
Iames attempts to establish telepathic contact with the squirrel.

AmberVael
2007-01-06, 02:57 PM
The squirrel desperately tries to defend his mind with the force.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-06, 03:14 PM
All I am attempting is to establish a link by which we can communicate. Is that alright with you? Iames sends telepathically.

Hoseki
2007-01-06, 03:57 PM
((Best. Trial. Ever. :smallbiggrin:))

Penguinizer
2007-01-06, 04:14 PM
((There is a possibility that porcupines were hiding somewhere XD))

Lord Sidereal
2007-01-07, 10:53 AM
((These are not the prcupines you are looking for? Feel the bristles? Look I am your... yes. best idea ever))

AmberVael
2007-01-07, 11:00 AM
"My client would prefer to have a translator."
The Dancing Man leans against the stand, despite the fact that he is still in his seat quite a bit away from the stand. One could swear that he is one spot, but somehow both sitting properly and leaning nonchalantly against the stand.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-07, 12:07 PM
Can you provide such a translator?

AmberVael
2007-01-07, 12:13 PM
"That can't wouldn't not not be me."
The Dancing Man tips his hat.

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-07, 12:40 PM
Iames raises his eyebrows. Very well. Sith Squirrel, do you dispute the facts as presented by the witnesses I have called?

AmberVael
2007-01-07, 12:44 PM
The squirrel chatters. Anyone who can speka any language, or similar ability, still doesn't recognize it as speech.
Because it isn't. He's just chattering.
The Dancing Man, however, seems to take this as an answer to Iames's question.
"That'll be $5.50. Do you want fries with that?"

Nevrmore
2007-01-07, 12:48 PM
((So you can be the translator, Dancing Man? Ha, I've caught you in your web of lies.))

((This mockery of justice is the best thing I've ever seen.))

AmberVael
2007-01-07, 12:50 PM
((I thought trials were getting a bit one note. :smallbiggrin:))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 05:51 PM
((How about a squirrely cyborg that claims to be a Squirrel-3PO thingy to translate if the judge decides Dancing Man can't be trusted to translate?

Squirrel-3PO, squirrel-cyborg relations.))

Kyrian
2007-01-07, 05:53 PM
Your Honor? I object to the defendant using his own lawyer as a translator. For all we know, the lawyer could be lying.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 05:59 PM
((Yeah, Iames's order comes to $6.54, not $5.50!))

wxdruid
2007-01-07, 06:29 PM
NPC, objection overruled, The Dancing Man is the squirrel's lawyer. If he thinks he can translate the chatter, all the better. Iames please restate your question.

((and yes, this is hilarious but it isn't over yet, hehe))

Kyrian
2007-01-07, 06:36 PM
((It was the NPC, not Kyrian))

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-08, 01:29 PM
Sith Squirrel, do you wish to dispute the facts of this case as they have been presented?

AmberVael
2007-01-08, 03:14 PM
The squirrel chatters fiercely, then the Dancing Man translates for him.
"No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir."

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-08, 03:17 PM
Iames raises his eyebrow. I'm sorry, that does not answer my question.

AmberVael
2007-01-08, 03:19 PM
"No, we do not, though we bite our thumb."

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-08, 07:25 PM
Iames raises an eyebrow. I see. Your Honor, I have a selection of video clips I would like to share with the court, if you don't mind.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-08, 08:09 PM
((One of which has nothing to do with the case, and is entirely inappropriate.
Iames should've left it at home in his plane. ))

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-08, 08:26 PM
((@^: :smallconfused: Huh?))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-08, 08:43 PM
((The Indiana Jones Trilogy applies to this case, how?))

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-08, 08:48 PM
((... Where the shock did that come from? No one'd said anything about Indiana Jones until you did just now...))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-08, 08:49 PM
((It came from nowhere. That is why I chose to say it.))

Kenyon
2007-01-08, 09:00 PM
((Iames must've rolled a 1 on his Detect Humor check))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-08, 09:02 PM
((Maybe a bit of my android character's personality rubbed off on him...))

wxdruid
2007-01-08, 09:07 PM
((and I think that's enough of the OOC comments in this trial, it's silly enough without them))

Iames, please proceed

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-08, 09:17 PM
Iames's eyes glow; the room darkens, and a screen descends from the ceiling. Light projects from Iames's eyes and forms images on this screen.

Clip 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY4HdGJcJVo)
Clip 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzVyqiskpMk)
Clip 3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKUyq-uCZr0)
Clip 4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC-f0drvdmM)
Clip 5 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQk4Y6Q69u8&NR)

wxdruid
2007-01-09, 02:52 PM
Gwen stares down sternly at Iames, What do these have to do with the murders?

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-09, 02:58 PM
They don't, but neither do the defendant's answers to my questions.

Kyrian
2007-01-09, 03:04 PM
I already objected once...

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-10, 11:09 AM
Clearly, the point was not made strongly enough, Iames addresses the NPC. Your Honor, if the defendant is to be permitted to give nonsensical, irrelevant answers to my questions, I see no reason why I should not be permitted to present nonsensical, irrelevant material as part of my prosecution. If the object of this trial is justice and not comedy, I move that Mr. Maverick be barred from the courtroom and a new translator be found who will be able and willing to translate the defendant's answers into meaningful, applicable responses.

wxdruid
2007-01-10, 09:06 PM
I would have to agree, Iames.

Dancing Man, do you have anything applicable to this trial to say on behalf of your client? If you don't you may leave the courtroom.

wxdruid
2007-01-18, 10:24 PM
Since the Dancing Man has not replied and neither has the Jedi/Sith Squirrel, they are both hereby removed from the Courtroom.

Iames do you have any further witnesses or comments?

Lord Iames Osari
2007-01-18, 10:29 PM
No, Your Honor, I think that given the evidence already presented, and the defendant's failure to present evidence to the contrary, there is no need for me to call any more witnesses.

wxdruid
2007-01-19, 11:38 AM
I find the Jedi/Sith Squirrel guilty of the two murders and hereby sentence him to death for his callous disregard for the two people he murdered. Until the sentence is carried out, he will remain in Jail.

Jedi/Sith Squirrel, you will immediately report to the police station.