A Viking Christmas Carol

[Hexa_Regina]

This was nifty enough I thought I would share it with you guys.

A VIKING CHRISTMAS CAROL
by unknown author

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Hall
Not a creature was stirring, not warrior nor thrall.
And I in my armor, my greaves and my helm
Was drunker than anyone else in the Realm.

I staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a brawl
So I grabbed up my axe and ran down to the Hall.

I missed the last step and crashed down in a heap
Thinking, "Why can't those low-lifes downstairs go to sleep!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But two brawny strangers, wielding mallet and spear.

I said to myself, "We'll soon have them beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I gave out a yell and leapt into the fray...
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.

For the one laid his hammer to the side of my nose
And up, up, up to the rafters I rose.
Then came a lone frightened voice from the floor,
"Those are no mortal warriors -- that's Odin and Thor!"

Then they looked at each other and they said, "Battle's done.
Now they know who we are, it no longer is fun."
Then Thor raised his hammer, and his elbow he bent,
And with a loud crash, through the ceiling they went.

I crawled through the Hall and flung open the door,
Not really sure that I'd seen them before.
The snow bathed in starlight, the moon like a glede,
I saw them ride off on an eight-legged steed.

And I heard them exclaim,
'ere they flew out of sight,
"TO HELLA WITH CHRISTMAS,
WE JUST LOVE A GOOD FIGHT!"

[Lord Herman]

Awesometastic :smallbiggrin:

See? Vikings are better than ninjae.

[Logic]

Vikings > Ninja > Pirates > Vampires

[Captain van der Decken]

Vikings > Pirates > Vampires > Ninja


Fixed your post.

[Lord Herman]

The plural of ninja is ninjae.

And don't forget that Vikings are pirates. With horns on their helmets.

[Closet_Skeleton]

The plural of ninja is ninjae.

And don't forget that Vikings are pirates. With horns on their helmets.

Well, at least you got one point out of three historically correct...

Vikings are good Christians and therefore don't celebrate such a pagan load of nonsense as Christmas.

[Don Beegles]

Yeah, horns would be no good on helmets. Too easy to get tangled up in something or grabbed by the enemy. Maybe a ceremonial helmet might have some, but not something for everyday use.

And unless ninja is suddenly a Latin word then no, the plural of ninja is ninja. Japanese doesn't indicate plurals. Or at least such is my largely Japanese-ignorant understanding.

[Lord Herman]

And unless ninja is suddenly a Latin word then no, the plural of ninja is ninja. Japanese doesn't indicate plurals. Or at least such is my largely Japanese-ignorant understanding.

The Japanese didn't invent ninjae. The Romans used ninjae long before the Japanese did. There are no records of them, because Roman ninjae were way better at remaining undetected than Japanese ones.

[Don Beegles]

If that was sarcasm, as I certain it was:

Well, yeah, but the Roman ninjae really didn't really matter in comparison to the Egyptian spaceships. :smallwink:

On the off chance it wasn't:

Well yeah, but my point is Roman ninja wouldn't be called ninja, they'd have a different word. Thus ninja should be used in accordance with Japanese rules of grammar where possible, or at least English, and so ninjae is not an option either way.

[Randorn]

Yeah, horns would be no good on helmets. Too easy to get tangled up in something or grabbed by the enemy. Maybe a ceremonial helmet might have some, but not something for everyday use.
Yes, but you do forget how the horns are useful for charging the puny enemies. And you can detach them for those drinking-mead-after-a-fight-and-somehow-managining-to-keep-standing challenges. And, of course, the horns have always been a way of impressing the maidens in the foreign lands (as well as those back home). In fact, the bigger the horns were the more expensive a helmet was cosidered. The Viking kings were reputed to wear horns on their helmets that were up to two meters tall and made of pure gold.

P.S. Cool poem.

[Don Beegles]

Well yeah, on a lady impressing, mead-hall sort of helmet, horns would defintely be included just for the look of the thing. You know what they say about a guy with big horns, *wink, wink, nudge, nudge, knowwhatImean, knowwhatImean, saynomore, saynomore*

In battle they're useless. I wonder what would happen if you charged your enemy with your head down trying to get him with your horns. I'd imagine it would be somethign ot the effect of a quick sidestep and a blow to the exposed back of the head.

[Beleriphon]

Well yeah, but my point is Roman ninja wouldn't be called ninja, they'd have a different word. Thus ninja should be used in accordance with Japanese rules of grammar where possible, or at least English, and so ninjae is not an option either way.

Nuh uh, I have evidence that suggests the Japanese adopted the word ninja for the Latin Niniae. The Niniae were a cadre of elite killers that dealt death from the shadows. And they had frozen shamrock shuriken and everything!

As for the poem. Thats fun. Just like Thor to goof up our fun, the big brute that he is. :smallbiggrin:

[Randorn]

In battle they're useless. I wonder what would happen if you charged your enemy with your head down trying to get him with your horns. I'd imagine it would be somethign ot the effect of a quick sidestep and a blow to the exposed back of the head.
Now, that would explain those nasty splits the archeologists found on the skulls of the Normans by Hastings, wouldn't it?