PDA

View Full Version : Nacho Army HQ



Pages : [1] 2

Rockphed
2007-01-01, 01:38 AM
A simple building stands before you. Made of stone and living trees, The Nacho Army HQ sells nacho's made with real cheese, 100% avacodo guacamole, fresh sour creme, finest jalepeno peppers, range grown moose meat, or whatever else you want.

There is a polished wooden counter running accross the building about 20 feet in. Behind it there is a kitchen capable of turning out thousands of little trays of Real Cheese Nachos in an hour.

All Members of the Naco Army get free Nachos.

Rockphed is normally behind the counter, while his two inept minions, named Bick Paen Tamiter, and Victor Ius(pronounced eee-us) are always around. All employees, except Rockphed, wear a dark orange uniform of military cut.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-01, 11:16 AM
*EmeraldRose saunters in*
Greetings General Rockphed! EmeraldRose reporting for rank receipt. Recruitment for the army goes well! We've gotten at least one new member just yesterday!

*goes to the counter for a tray of nachos and a coke*

Renegade Paladin
2007-01-01, 11:50 AM
[ I don't get it.]

Midnight Son
2007-01-01, 12:10 PM
*is drug, kicking and screaming through the doors*

Dammit! I didn't even want to come to this town, and now I've been conscripted. Well never let it be said that Midnight Son shirks his duties.

*Grabs some tasty nachos and goes to wait in the corner*

Lykan
2007-01-01, 12:15 PM
((Gah! FB is invading the Town!

:P))

Rockphed
2007-01-01, 07:08 PM
Bick gives EmeraldRose a tray of Nachos. He goes in back to find a cola.

How does the rank of Grand Poobah of THE NACHO ARMY sound? Your duties would include conscripting random people from the street, and smiting those who would use fake cheese on nachos. Rockphed then hands EmeraldRose a bundle of orange cloth and leather. Here is your uniform, if you would like it ajusted, ask Victor.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-01, 07:31 PM
Sounds good to me, Sir!! I'll get right to recruitment! *salutes*

*gets some nachos to go, and loads them with jalapenos, guacamole, and black beans*

I should probably take some nacho kits to entice the new recruits...:smallwink:

*takes several dozen "join us or get knocked out" nacho kits*

Rockphed
2007-01-01, 07:47 PM
And what rank would Midnight Son like? Perhaps we could make him Official Cheese tester. But we get all our cheese with the Summon Cheese spell. Oh, and good luck EmeraldRose.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-01, 08:11 PM
Sir, I am encountering resistance in the Random Banter Thread! Requesting back-up! They are countering with...*gasp*...cookies!!! :smalleek:

Graklok
2007-01-01, 11:15 PM
Graklok comes wandering through, sniffing the air....

Nachos? Graklok like nachos. Do you have nacho ice cweam?

Rockphed
2007-01-02, 01:09 AM
Um, Nacho Ice Cream...Do you mean nacho's with ice cream, or Nacho Flavored Ice cream? Or do you mean perhaps sour cream flavored Ice Cream? I would love to fulfill your request, but it is too vague and I don't want you to be disappointed.

Graklok
2007-01-02, 01:17 AM
Ummm....nachos in ice cweam Graklok t'ink. Yeah, that's it. nachos in ice cweam. Dat's gud stuff dat is. Graklok replies.

Rockphed
2007-01-02, 01:26 AM
Hmmm, this will be about ten minutes. Maybe less. Victor! Start the Ice cream maker! Bick! Make the man some nachos! I will find a spell to cool the ice cream down!

Rockphed
2007-01-02, 01:37 AM
I have it! Now do not be alarmed, you are about to see some really odd stuff. Victor, Have you finished that Ice Cream recipe? Wait! Mr Graklok, what flavor Ice cream would you like? The default is vanilla, but if you would prefer some other flavor, I would be happy to change it. Just tell Victor over there what flavor you want. Now for the spell! Shape Change!!! Rockphed's form stays the same, and he looks slightly embarrassed.

Midnight Son
2007-01-02, 02:12 AM
Well, I seem to have a very sharp knife here, and even with the summon spell, we must make sure the right kind of cheese is used. After every cheese summoning, I could cut it and test it for the proper aroma and sharpness.

As for my position and title in the army, I think I'll leave that to EmeraldRose, who conscripted me, or RockPhed our general. I'm fairly easygoing as long as I get my nachos and nobody makes the deadly mistake of showing up with, or asking for, any form of fake cheese.

Rockphed
2007-01-02, 02:23 AM
Official Cheese Tester and Guard it is then! I suppose I should keep our supplies up with another Summon Cheese!

Several blocks of cheese appear in a pile behind the counter.

Graklok
2007-01-02, 05:06 AM
Vikter, otay, Graklok tell 'em. Graklok says looking to where Rockphed was pointing. He saunters over there. You Vikter? he asks the man behind the counter. Me Graklok. Graklok like stawberry ice cweam wit nachos if pobble? ((possible)) Graklok come up wit idear when Graklok noucing at arena westling match wit Indurain, Atreyu, Supagoof, Rain, Cathindere, Weebl, Bob, Kyrian, Awamir....he continues to ramble on about all the competitors that fought in the arena battle royal match that was held some time ago. you will get the impression that Graklok is not the brightest bulb in town, but despite his large size he doesn't come across as intimidating either.

---------------------------

After talking about the arena for a considerable amount of time, Graklok gets and eats the strawberry nacho ice cream. Ummm, dewiscious! Thanks Victor and Rockphed, then leaves.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-02, 07:19 PM
*EmeraldRose stumbles in*

Man it's rough out there! Some guy keeps following me around trying to get people to eat cookies! Vik, do you have any with habaneros back there?

*heads for the kitchen*

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-02, 11:38 PM
*a Ghastly Figure on a pogo stick stares in...*

Rockphed
2007-01-03, 03:31 AM
Oh dear, this is worse than I thought! We must start the exorcism immidiately! Crank the ovens up to full blast! Start up the deep fryer! Create Cheese Golems, NachoShiruken, and other implements of Nacho disemination! And ye gastly figure, I have something for you! Rochphed throws one hand in the air, the other behind him, and Screams Baleful Polymorph, then points at the pogoer, and says mouse.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-03, 10:51 AM
Sir! I have retaliated for the cookie intrusion! They will be cleaning up nacho sauce and black beans for days!

*EmeraldRose giggles and goes back for more nachos*

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-03, 03:16 PM
http://www.rpconline.com/catalog/icons/bag_grocery.jpg (http://malusoculus.0catch.com/cookie.html)

Ioldanach
2007-01-03, 08:12 PM
*Ioldanach pokes his head in the door*
If youve got jalapenos and habaneros for those nachos, i would be glad to join up. Me like spicy.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-03, 08:16 PM
A British NPC man in a suit walks in. He quickly swallows down a cookie before entering the HQ.

I'd like some nachos, melted, not burned.
((A Revolution-chip Cookie for the reference.))

Also, I'd like to join your group, and be of little aid. I promise I am not secretly working as an agent of the cookie revolution.

Destro_Yersul
2007-01-03, 08:30 PM
A British NPC man in a suit walks in. He quickly swallows down a cookie before entering the HQ.

I'd like some nachos, melted, not burned.
((A Revolution-chip Cookie for the reference.))

Also, I'd like to join your group, and be of little aid. I promise I am not secretly working as an agent of the cookie revolution.

((Bond. James Bond))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-03, 08:33 PM
((Congratulations. You get the cookie. "The melted, not burned" is a parody of shaken, not stirred.))
The NPC waits patiently, and attempts to peek at anything that might be top-secret, when nobody's watching.

Rockphed
2007-01-03, 08:34 PM
Well, we have jalapenos, but the habaneros were a bit mild. I have been experimenting with improving the flavor and heat, but I can't seem to get my minions to eat anymore. Rockphed waves at Bick and Victor, both having scorch marks on their faces. Perhaps you would like to try one... Rockphed prepares some nachos, melted, not burned, and adds a pepper to the top. If you want to join, talk to EmeraldRose. Just mention how much you love of cheese whiz, and she will set you straight.

((The pepper is flame trapped for extra heat.))

Destro_Yersul
2007-01-03, 08:35 PM
((Bwahahaha! My cookie collection grows...))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-03, 08:37 PM
The NPC agent pretends to eat the nachos.
((secretly being a double agent working for the cookies, he doesn't care for nachos.)
Later, asks EmeraldRose if he can join, and says he is not a cookie lover, and loves cheese whiz.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-03, 10:56 PM
*EmeraldRose conks LordMagtok on the head for daring to mention CheezWhiz in the presence of the real thing, then drags him out into the street and dumps him in front of the cookie revolution doorway with a plate of steaming hot nachos on his chest.*

*Comes back in and grins* Took care of that mess! Welcome Ioldanach! See General Rockphed for your rank and pick up your uniform! Then you can help me get those sneaky cookie guys back. THey keep popping up here like last week's dirty laundry...Grab your favorite nachos and toppings from the guys in the back and lets get going!!!

Lorith
2007-01-04, 01:47 PM
*pokes head in door* Do I smell the wonderful aroma of Nachos and real cheese?

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 02:59 PM
Indeed you do! Would you like anthing beside cheese on your nachos? And furthermore, are you interested in fighting for the glory of nachos?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 03:07 PM
Another NPC secret agent of the cookie revolution arrives.

My name is Eikooc, and I'd like to join the nacho army, and fight for the glory of nachos everywhere!

Lorith
2007-01-04, 03:25 PM
Well met, Rockphed. Jalepenos are always welcome on nachos and cheese. And as long as nachos are offered I will offer myself and my bow to the glory of Nachos and real Cheese! Death to fake cheese in a can! No mercy for the cookies!!

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 03:33 PM
Ummmm...Yeah! What he said! Can I join and not look around for secret Nacho military secrets?

Lorith
2007-01-04, 03:37 PM
*notches an arrow in bow and keeps an eye on Lord Magtok* psstt... why does he smell like cookies?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 03:41 PM
((By the way, Eikooc is Cookie backwards.))

I only smell like cookies because I was...trying to blow uo their base earlier! They pelted me with their ungodly chocolate chips, so I ran here for help.

Supagoof
2007-01-04, 03:43 PM
((Lord Magtok, you are making me crack up. Good stuff!))

Lorith
2007-01-04, 03:43 PM
Well then friend, here have some of my nachos and cheese

*loaded with Jalepenos*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 03:43 PM
Magtok I've warned you once already! If you continue to bring your fake cheeseness in here I will be forced to knock you on the head and drag you out again. Besides, wouldn't being a covert intelligence operative require actual intelligence? :smallamused:

*EmeraldRose arms herself with NACHOS and prepares to throw Magtok bodily from the room*

:smallannoyed:

Lorith
2007-01-04, 03:46 PM
*readies to assist EmeraldRose*

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 03:47 PM
The NPC who is not Magtok takes cover behind a large object that hadn't been mentioned earlier, and fires a pair of brownie revolvers at EmeraldRose, Rockphed, and Lorith.

For Cookies!

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 03:50 PM
*EmeraldRose dodges the brownies*
Lorith! Your assistance will prove necessary I believe! Circle around him that way, and I'll go this way. Ready your nacho cannon!

*EmeraldRose fires a habanero hand-grenade at Not-Magtok*

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 03:51 PM
Lorith, I assume you don't want an extra fiery delight. They are the hottest peppers around, but they tend to scorch your hair. Rockphed putters around putting some nachos together with cheese and peppers.

There you go Lorith, if you want anything else, just ask. Welcome to the opperation, backwards cookiE, your uniform is in the box over there. Rockphed points at a small brown box by the wall. Just take it home and put on the uniform there, oh, and let me put all our plans inside. Rockphed grabs a sheet of paper, folds it in half, and puts it in the box.

((The box is firetrapped))

((edit: wow I am slow))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 03:52 PM
The NPC activates a completely unexpected cookie dough-powered jetpack that wasn't mentioned earlier, and attempts to fly deeper into the nacho base, in the hopes he'll find some huge, insidious factory of cookie annihilating doom.

The NPC dodges the grenade easily, as he is flying in the air.

He snatches the box from mid-air, and continues to fly around in random directions.

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 03:54 PM
Okay, that is it! You turned my hand! Baleful Polymorph! Rockphed points a finger at Eikooc.

((if this works, he should be a cat.))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 03:55 PM
*EmeraldRose activates the Jalapeno Net, effectively trapping the jetpack flying "NPC".*

Now you will talk, or we will send you back to your master, Rex, in crumbles...heh. :smallamused:

Supagoof
2007-01-04, 03:56 PM
Magtok I've warned you once already!

((*cough*metagaming*cough*))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 03:57 PM
((what? I did warn him...))

Lorith
2007-01-04, 03:57 PM
*fires his unbefore mentioned napalm cannon filled with Jalepeno juice!!! at Magtok, catching his jet pack on fire and scortching his butt*

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 03:59 PM
Being a cat trappped in a net with a scorched butt and aflame jetpack, the one once known as Eikooc likely won't be able to provide you with much top-secret cookie information.

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 04:00 PM
Victor and Bick wake up and run to grab the spy.

Supagoof
2007-01-04, 04:01 PM
((Just stating that in town, players may have more then one character. Some, like Vael, go up to infinity I think. Anyway, he did post that he was not Magtok when he first came in.

Though it's less confusing if you use the character name in every post LM.

Just some helpful advice from the townie Supagoof whose been here waaaaaay to long is all. no offense.))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 04:02 PM
Lorith, a job well done! General, sir! May I name him my Lieutenant Poobah in charge of tracking down and eliminating sources of fake cheese?



((Gotcha, Supagoof, this is my first Townie))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 04:02 PM
((Okay.))

Eikooc meows and meows, being an NPC cat with nothing better to do.

Lorith
2007-01-04, 04:03 PM
Quick someone use some of that fake cheese to put out the flames, no need to use the good stuff on this low-life

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 04:05 PM
no need to use the good stuff on this low-life

((Wow....you really hate cats.))

Supagoof
2007-01-04, 04:06 PM
((Welcome to town, fellow Midwesterner!))

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 04:06 PM
Indeed you may! Though, I was gonna take care of him. I wonder what Rex would have thought of a bunch of fire in his living room.

((I gotta go))

Bick and Vicktor put out the flames and stash the cat in a cage. Nice kitty, we let EmeraldRose take care of you.

Lorith
2007-01-04, 04:14 PM
((I have to go too, have a good night everyone))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 04:19 PM
((I'm a transplant from the South. My husband's from MN :smallsmile: ))

Yuck! What a mess! Well, I don't want this nasty fake cheese messing up our place.

*EmeraldRose gets a large garbage bag and a shovel and puts the whole cat-jalapeno-net-fake-cheese-burned mess in it, then walks out of HQ and down the street to the cookie revolution doorway, holding her nose the whole way*
:smallyuk:

((Bye Rockphed, Lorith!))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 04:28 PM
A new NPC arrives. His name is C. Chip.
This one has no connections with the Cookie revolution whatsoever.

He even has a shirt that says "I am not working with the cookies"

He goes over to Rockphed, and asks for some nachos with real cheese on them.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 04:32 PM
Hiya C.Chip! Would you like some of our new secret special sauce on your nachos? It is a deadly poison NEW special thing we are trying out on our new recruits!!

Midnight Son
2007-01-04, 04:47 PM
*hands C. Chip a plate of nachos smothered in velveeta*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 04:56 PM
*EmeraldRose grins and watches*

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 05:15 PM
C. Chip returns the nachos.
No thanks. I prefer nachos the way they were meant to be made, with jalepenos and real cheese

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 05:23 PM
*EmeraldRose looks at Midnight Son*
I think they're finally learning. :smallconfused: Well, then Mr. C. Chip. Why don't you come on back here and have a seat at the nacho bar with Victor, and he'll set you up with our special new recruit nacho surprise. Won't you, Victor?

*EmeraldRose leads C.Chip to a barstool at the back by the nacho bar. It has a nice view with a sky light directly above it.*

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 05:25 PM
C.Chip follows her.

To EmeraldRose: Nice view. You mentioned nachos?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 05:30 PM
Yep, here you go...one order of real corn tortilla chip, 100% cheese and extra spicy jalapenos. Here's your orange uniform. General Rockphed has left for the day, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow for your rank.

*She stands behind the bar and holds the cheesy nacho goodness until C.Chip takes his seat*

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 05:34 PM
He takes a seat.

Okay, then. Is there a bathroom or something where I can change after I have the nachos?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 05:39 PM
Why of course we have facilities. This is a fully functioning...

*As EmeraldRose hands C.Chip the nachos she presses the emergency escape seat button under the bar with her other hand, launching the hydraulic barstool the NPC is sitting on up and him out through the sky light, he lands- ever so softly, outside the door to the cookie revolution, with his nachos in hand*

((gotta go pick up my son, g'night! This is loads of fun!! :smallbiggrin: ))

Destro_Yersul
2007-01-04, 05:43 PM
((Darnit, now I'm hungry! *goes to make and eat Nachos and Cookies*))

Rebonack
2007-01-04, 05:47 PM
((These topics confuse me...))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 05:53 PM
((The nachos have started using phrases usually reserved for the word cookie, and for the traditions and history of ths playground, I fight the evil nachos.))

With Chocolate Chip (Also known as C. Chip) defeated, another agent is sent to the nachos.

He is wearing a large costume, one that resembles a nacho. He is somewhat forgetful, and childish in nature.

Nachos rule! Can I have some? I have money.

He rifles through his outfit, and pulls out some cash with nacho cheese stains on it.

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 08:16 PM
What kind of nachos would you like? We have some Flame Trapped ultra hot peppers that only leave small scorch marks. We even gave somebody some nacho Icecream. Wait, is that "nacho cheese" on that money? I have a box for you. Victor goes and gets the box Eikooc was trying to run off with, and puts it on the bar.

Destro_Yersul
2007-01-04, 08:19 PM
((HAH! I had Nachos and Cookies for lunch today. What do you say to that?))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 08:21 PM
((I had Nookies! Beat That!))

The silly man in the nacho costume looks at the box with his eyes really wide and curious.

Whats in the box?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 08:23 PM
((HAH! I had Nachos and Cookies for lunch today. What do you say to that?))

((maybe you need some Pepto for dessert?))

Rockphed
2007-01-04, 08:23 PM
((@ Destro: Um, good for you.))

Victor goes in back to get a mop and starts cleaning up the mess from all the Cookie Revolution spies.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 08:31 PM
The guy in the cheesey outfit asks again:Whats in the box?

Right after asking this question, the silly man forgets he asked it, and starts singing and dancing about nachos. He slips on Rockphed's mop, and slides around the room comically.

Weeeeeeeeee!!

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 09:56 PM
*EmeraldRose sighs and tries to direct the cheesy outfit guy's uncontrolled slide out the door*

Lord Magtok
2007-01-04, 10:04 PM
Instead, the nacho costume guy collides with a wall. He doesn't seem at all affected by the collision. He suddenly notices the box from before, and runs over and opens it.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 10:59 PM
*waits to see what happens*

Graklok
2007-01-04, 11:03 PM
You hear screaming outside the building.

AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

It get's louder, then comes to a sudden halt when a loud thump is heard against the side of the building.

Graklok walks in at that moment, holding his head.

Oooh, dat hurt. Graklok need nachos, lagar, and yogurt.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 11:15 PM
Well, Graklok, we can provide the nacho part, and Victor may have a lager back there, but I'm afraid we have no yogurt. Victor see if we have an ice pack as well.

Graklok
2007-01-04, 11:19 PM
Nah, Graklok need no ice pack. Dat what lagar for. Otay, Graklok take nacho wit cheese. Den Graklok go Trog's get lagar. Trog's good pwace get drinks. Haps youse go sell nachos der, gud idea Graklok tinks.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-04, 11:23 PM
I'll have to clear it with the General tomorrow, and perhaps set up something with the Quartermaster, but maybe we can arrange something! That's a fine idea sir! Thank you. Enjoy your nachos!

Graklok
2007-01-04, 11:27 PM
Tanks perdy lady in gween!. Yum!

Graklok shoves th nachos into his mouth, crumbs hit the floor as loud munching is heard. He then heads out of the HQ and wanders towards Trog's.

Rockphed
2007-01-05, 12:33 AM
Fire blossoms around the box as a fire trap goes off, engulfing the silly spy and his nacho costume. Victor hangs his head and goes in back for water.

Lorith
2007-01-05, 09:11 AM
Merry Met all! Did I miss any fun? *looks around room for cookie spies*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-05, 09:27 AM
General Rockphed seems to have dispatched the last one, and as of yet, they haven't sent in another. I'm sure we'll be seeing from them again though!
*EmeraldRose pokes her head out the door, then comes back in*
Also, we now appear to have an indentation in our wall by the door shaped by that large friendly guy who likes yogurt with his nachos...he mentioned trying to set up a something where we can sell our nachos over a Trogs.

Lorith
2007-01-05, 09:59 AM
hmmmm... that is quiet the indentation. Now he likes yogurt with his nachos? I thought it was ice cream? Oh well, Perhaps we should see if we can a dwarfen craftsman to see about fixing that, unfortunately my specialty is more in the bowyer/fletcher area. Although I have figured out how to make Jalapeno tipped arrows :smallbiggrin:

Graklok
2007-01-05, 10:22 AM
hmmmm... that is quiet the indentation.

((Actually it was pretty loud when he ran into it. :smalltongue: ))

Lorith
2007-01-05, 10:31 AM
(( damn these fingers with their mind of their own!! and as you can see from my mistakes, I wouldn't take offense to it.... then again when you do it, it is in character, what is my excuse for typos?))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-05, 12:36 PM
Maybe we could just leave it and add a sign above it that says "Graklok eats our nachos!" Or something...:smallwink:

Lorith
2007-01-05, 12:41 PM
I like it, simple yet elegant... and it allows us to save GP for a giant cheese fondu in the center of the room here

Rockphed
2007-01-05, 02:26 PM
I am going over to the omni shop to see about getting something to sell our nachos at Trog's. Is there anything else we need?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-05, 02:31 PM
We could probably use some more traps of various nefarious kinds...maybe some liquid fire sauce?

Lorith
2007-01-05, 02:33 PM
Could you check if they have any Jalepeno Poppers (fire seeds) *insert evil grin here*

Rockphed
2007-01-05, 02:48 PM
I'll see what I can do. Rockphed grabs a bag of nachos and walks out the door.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-05, 03:25 PM
A nondescript NPC (who is not a gag) walks in and orders some nachos.

Lorith
2007-01-05, 03:30 PM
Greetings nondescript NPC (who is not a gag) Nachos are free, would you like cheese on them?

Xerillum
2007-01-05, 03:59 PM
A man in an orange, military cut uniform walks in, and drops a brown paper package tied up with string. ((cookie for the reference)) he then skedaddles.

Lorith
2007-01-05, 04:01 PM
*quickly kicks the bag into a portable hole* just incase those are exploding cookies... sometimes you have no idea how the cookie is going to crumble.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-05, 04:22 PM
Quick thinking Lorith! :smallsmile: Who'd have guessed people would be so careless with their favorite things? ((Please no cookies...))

Lorith
2007-01-05, 04:26 PM
(have a good weekend all, time to leave)

Rockphed
2007-01-05, 04:47 PM
A giant crablike construct with Rockphed at the controls and a Nacho chip for a body tries to come through the front door. Why Didn't I include a cargo door? Now somebody needs to fix it. The wall around the door falls beneath the inexorable march of the machine.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-05, 05:35 PM
The nondescript NPC (who is not a gag) is stepped on by Rockphed's massive machine, and cries in horrible agony as the machine crushes his spine and spills his vitals all over the floor.

((By the way, isn't it odd Rockphed has cookies is his sig?)

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-05, 10:54 PM
Ooo... I want to Join! Can I Join!

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 12:03 AM
Do you swear to eat the nacho, the whole nacho, and nothing but the nacho, so help you real cheese? :smallwink: Then you may eat the jalapeno! Welcome to the army. Nah, I was just kidding! We don't make you swear anything here. The only restriction is that you can't have any of that fake cheese stuff on your nachos! We don't take kindly to that sort of thing here! Understand?? See the General for you rank and uniform, Recruit! :smallsmile:

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 12:06 AM
Okay,

((Heads back to talk to General Rockphed))

Um...Excuse me General, I'm here about my rank, and uniform.

Rockphed
2007-01-06, 04:35 AM
Do you know anything about decorating? How about traps? We kinda need more snazzy looking decorations, and setting traps around our "Top Secret Information" Will lead to much funny death of Cookie Revolution spies. Do you know any magic? Maybe you can change these cookies I have lying around into nachos. I know, you can be Commander of the NachoMobile. Rockphed swings around and points at the giant crab-like thing. Perfect for wandering the streets of town, or anywhere else, it has a small kitchen, storage for enough nachos to feed an army, and the ability to play really annoying music as it trundles alond! Your first assignment would be to take it over to the Cookie Revolution and play the music. Just recruit a couple NPCs to run the thing, and you are Golden!

danielf
2007-01-06, 06:57 AM
Hi. I have an awesome homer simpson quote to you recruit people.

"Nacho, nacho man. I want to be a nacho man" http://www.msnemotions.org/emoticons/cartoons/homemot.png Homer Simpson

Lord Magtok
2007-01-06, 10:06 AM
((Oh yeah? Cookies have a song and a cookie monster (now deceased) to go with it!!))

((Now what starts with the letter "C"?
"Cookie" starts with "C"!
Let's think of other things that starts with "C"!
Uh. . .Uh. . . Who cares about da other things?!

(CHORUS)x2

"C" is for Cookie that's good enough for me,
"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,
"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,
Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C"!

Hey, You know what? A round cookie with one bite out of it looks like a "C"
A round nacho with one bite out of it also looks like a "C" but it is not as good as a cookie
Oh, and the moon sometimes looks like a "C" but you can't eat that
So...
(CHORUS)
Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts with "C"
Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts with "C"


I made a small change to the song. See if you can find it when you compare it to the actual song.))

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4160506976114067698&q=C+is+for+Cookie&hl=en

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 11:15 AM
((I think Lord Magtok and all his Alts are spending more time here than with the cookies...maybe he secretly like nachos better!! Methinks Magtok doth protest too much...We should douse him with 100% real cheese sauce the next time he comes in and yell surprise!!))

Lord Magtok
2007-01-06, 12:04 PM
((They aren't alts. They are one-use only gag NPCS. And trust me, the master of NPC cookie spies has spent more time among the cookies than you think.))

A random NPC in a suit of full plate cookie armor comes in and yells.

SUPRISE!

Ioldanach
2007-01-06, 12:10 PM
As Ioldanach comes back in wearing his shiny new uniform with a crate in his hands

So what do these marks on my uniform mean? Oh by the way Ive been gone for a while cause I was inventing these," as I set the crate down and opens the lid, "look, capsacin mortars!!! , (aka meteor swarm) 10 million scovilles apiece!"


Did my sig show up?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 02:19 PM
Sweet!!! Or should I say, HOT!! Good job, Recruit! See the General for your rank.

((Go to USER CP, then Edit options, Thread Display Options, then click all the visible post elements you want, ie sigs, images, avatars))

Ioldanach
2007-01-06, 02:58 PM
Glad to be there for pepper lovers everwhere

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 08:44 PM
Um... Okay looks like I'll just put "Lead Commander of the Nacho Army Mobile Forces." into my sig.

"A-hem, I guess I'll just head over to the cookie army then."

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 09:37 PM
*EmeraldRose looks over at the cookie armored NPC and sighs*

General, I don't think they're even trying anymore...

*She picks up the hose and sprays the NPC with 100% cheese spray*

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 09:41 PM
*Toadcape Hazel returns to Nacho Army HQ*

"Um...Hello, I just got back from our allies, the Cookie Revolution, a nice man on a pogo stick asked me to give this to you."
*Hands over box*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 10:57 PM
*looks at Hazel fearfully*
You haven't opened that have you? No? Good! DON'T!
*Throws it into Lorith's portable hole*
Ummm...Did you play the music outside their building? Just head back over to the Cookie Revolution and park outside and blast the music for them. If what I remember the General saying is correct, it should play "NACHO MAN" over and over again...
Homer: Nacho nacho man, I want to be a nacho man.

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 11:09 PM
"Okay, I'll try that"

*Hazel leaves in the Nacho Mobile*

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 11:22 PM
*Hazel Returns, Inquering about the Van*

"What's wrong, why couldn't I get the music to play?"

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 11:25 PM
You need to turn on the radio. It's this button here. :smallsmile: Make sure to turn the volume all the way up, that's this control. Then activate the Anti-Rex control, that's over here....Have fun! :smallbiggrin:

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 11:27 PM
"Okay, I'll Try this again"
*Hazel hops in the Van again and Drives all the way to the Cookie Revolution*

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-06, 11:34 PM
*A van that looks similar to your nacho van shows up blasting the "C" is for Cookie Song. A Cookie Rebel Parks it, locks it up, and gets into the car that followed it.*

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 11:36 PM
*Hazel steps out of the Cookie Van.*
"Thanks for the ride!"

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 11:37 PM
*sighs*

Well, at least we kept an extra anti-Rex remote.

*EmeraldRose activates the remote and turns the station to Nacho Man, and hits the remote unlock button*

Want to try again Hazel?

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-06, 11:43 PM
This is a little odd, sending your lackies against me? You can't just do it yourself?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 11:48 PM
Pardon me? I've sent no one "against you". Hazel was merely trying to brighten your day with some light-hearted music, and I believe the General is the one who sent her over. Besides, is there a reason I should go against you? While you are here, would you care for some nachos?

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-06, 11:50 PM
Sure, I brought some nachos as well, we'll do an exchange in sign of peace.

*Offers Plate of Nachos*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 11:52 PM
Why would you exchange nachos as a sign of peace? If that is what we are doing, I will go get some cookies. I think some of your minions have left some around here...

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-06, 11:54 PM
That's alright, just try some of these. :biggrin:

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-06, 11:56 PM
Something seems odd. Don't try them.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-06, 11:59 PM
You first cookie man...:smallannoyed:

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:01 AM
Um...Okay
*Eats Nacho From Plate*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:05 AM
*EmeraldRose gets Random Recruit #341 to take a nacho from Rex's plate and eat it*

Sorry Rex, I still don't trust you.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:06 AM
*Rex move the plate away from the Random Recruit #342*

If you do that, there will be none left over for you, Rose.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:08 AM
That's fine, I've named her my official taster for the purposes of all cookie/ nacho treaties. She has official treaty capacity.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:11 AM
Okay, Fine, You may have 1 chip, #342.

{{If she takes a bite, she wouldn't sense anything wrong}}

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 12:11 AM
Hmmm, what kind of cheese did you make those nachos with?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:12 AM
((#341, Rex))

General, SIR! You're back, I didn't see you arrive. The cookies' leader is interested in a treaty, but is offering nachos. I am unsure how to proceed. Orders, sir?

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:13 AM
((Fine, Only 1, #341))

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 12:16 AM
Hmmm, I still don't entirely trust this pogoer. But, anyway, Bick, go make some cookies. And whatever happened to all our new traps? I was sure I left them in the Nachomobile.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:18 AM
:smallmad: There was an issue with the deployment of the Nachomobile, sir.

NPC #341 takes a bite of the nacho.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:18 AM
You mean our Cookie Mobile? *Points out the window*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:20 AM
*clears throat*

Rex, we got control of it back, you know.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:24 AM
{{#341 would only sense that the cheese is not cheddar.))

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 12:25 AM
What did you do to my paint job!?! And when? Is this your doing mysterious pogoer? Didn't I exorcise you earlier? Then he turns and asks EmeraldRose Is this an appropriate time to cast Cheese Strike? Or Chip Barier?

And about the cheese, I am sure I have a scroll of Detect Real Cheese around here somewhere...

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:28 AM
{{Ready Action=Any Spell Cast, Chocolate Chip Counter}}
We could get into a war if you like, but 'till then, I suggest we make peace.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:33 AM
Why do you want to make peace? Are you bored so easily? The denizens of this place seem to be redily amused by our "war".

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 12:36 AM
So that would be a no on the Cheese Strike. Oh, bother, I never get to use that spell. But what kind of cheese is it. Rockphed pulls out a scroll and reads, Detect Real Cheese, His eyes glow blue and he glares at the Nachos.

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:39 AM
{{Damn, The Cheese only registers as 23% real.}}
Oops Outa Time, (He pogos very swiftly out the door)
Till Next time.

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 12:47 AM
Ahhhggg! Here, Random Recruit #341, have a detox pill! I think this means war! He tried to poison us with fake Cheese!

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:48 AM
Sir, now would be the time for Cheese Strike!

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 12:49 AM
((To Late the Pogo Guy is gone))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:52 AM
Perhaps you can cast it on their headquarters...

*EmeraldRose looks wistfully at the empty doorway*

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 01:03 AM
Oho, that is a good Idea! Now should I take the Nachomobile, or wait for it to be repainted first and just walk?

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:50 AM
Here, I figured we'd need this at some point...I don't know why, just figured.

*hands the General a Scroll of Instantaneous Repainting*

Rockphed
2007-01-07, 03:39 AM
Thank you! Now to crush those insolent Cookie Mongers! Rockphed gets in and drives off.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 12:14 PM
A worker rolls in a barrel with the label "Real Jalapeno Cheese"

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:20 PM
I'm sorry, I don't believe we've ordered any "Real Jalapeno Cheese". We typically like to have our jalapenos separated from our cheese, to ensure it is actually real. You'll have to return this to the Sender. Here's a plate of nachos for your trouble!

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 12:26 PM
"thank you" he rolls it away. in a split second, the sam worker rolls another barrel in, labeled "Genuine Real Cheese"

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:30 PM
*checks a clipboard*

I'm truly sorry, sir, but we have no shipments scheduled for at least a month. We are well stocked you see. You'll simply have to take it away. Perhaps they have need of a barrel of "real" cheese over at Trog's, hmm? Have another plate of nachos to go for your trouble.

*hands him Ioldanach's Special*

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 12:38 PM
He, seeing that he has infiltrated the base, pulls out a small remote control with a big red button. he holds his thumb over it.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:41 PM
EmeraldRose ducks behind the bar as Ioldanach's Special prepares to go off. She activates the Nacho Net field to contain the blast around the stranger.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 12:44 PM
He presses the detonator, and a plasma burst goes off, enveloping a fifty yard spread in a blue haze. any window within that spread breaks into hundreds of shards.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 12:56 PM
The Nacho Net contains the blast of Ioldanach's SPecial which singes the stranger a lovely color of gray mottled with nacho orange, bt does no actual harm.

If you're finished attempting to destroy the neighborhood, get out of our establishment before I bring charges of vandalism against you.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:00 PM
Heh heh. that wasn't all. a large ion shield rises around the man, as a massive blast emanates from the bomb. Ions stream out with the force of a shipload of gunpowder.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:04 PM
The Nacho Net, still in place manages to contain the blast from the stranger's second bomb.

*EmeraldRose readies the Pepper Cannon*

Leave now. I'll give no further warnings.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:08 PM
A second blast, twice as strong and lasting twice as long, explodes.

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:09 PM
Hey Emerald.
Do you want a Nacho?

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i221/danielfufrj/nachos.png
take one, the last one are with cheese sauce

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:15 PM
EmeraldRose fires the Pepper Cannon at the intruder, and calls in NPC Recruits #256 and #107 to man the Cheese Guns. Each shot of the Pepper Cannon launches a massive explosive pepper at the stranger. They detonate on impact, showering him with acidic pepper seeds which cling to his skin, sliding down in strings of oiler, peppery goodness.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:17 PM
the attacks slide off of the ion shield, as the recruits are pummeled.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:24 PM
The recruits, having been through Pepper Camp, are fine. One of the runs out and gets into the Nachomobile. Since the front of the building hasn't been repaired yet, he comes back and tries picking up the intruder, shield and all, with the Nachomobile's claws.

Rose holds off firing for the moment.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:25 PM
the nachomobile is blown back by as concussion blast.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:27 PM
It makes its reflex save and no damage is taken. The NPC smacks the intruder with the claw instead.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:28 PM
the ion shield blocks it.

((is there any structural damage to the building from the four concussive blasts.))

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:29 PM
(hmmm why don't you shoot salt in the clouds? This will make start a storm, and the lightnings will be magnetic attract to the ion shield and will destroy their molecular structure, it's quite simple... ;))

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:30 PM
NPC #107 attempts to focus a sonic blast through the ion shield. He cranks the radio to full, and focuses it into a tight beam centered on the shield.

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:32 PM
the shield absorbs the energy, and releases it in a fifth concussive blast.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:33 PM
((probably))

Is there a reason you've attacked us?

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:35 PM
Yes. I am against nacho imperialism!

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:37 PM
You have the wrong place then. We are not the Nacho Imperialists. They are down the street and three blocks over.

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:38 PM
(where is a cleric or a wizard to cast a control water spell when you need it? :)

Control Water

Transmutation (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#transmutation) [Water (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#descriptor)]

Level (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#level):Clr 4 (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spellLists/clericSpells.htm#fourthLevelClericSpells), Drd 4 (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spellLists/druidSpells.htm#fourthLevelDruidSpells), Sor/Wiz 6 (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spellLists/sorcererWizardSpells.htm#sixthLevelSorcererWizardS pells), Water 4 (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spellLists/clericDomains.htm#waterDomain)Components (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#components):V, S, M/DFCasting Time (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#castingTime):1 standard action (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/actionsInCombat.htm#standardActions)Range (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#range):Long (400 ft. + 40 ft./level)Area (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#area):Water in a volume of 10 ft./level by 10 ft./level by 2 ft./level (S)Duration (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#duration):10 min./level (D)Saving Throw (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#savingThrow):None; see textSpell Resistance (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/magicOverview/spellDescriptions.htm#spellResistance):No
Depending on the version you choose, the control water spell raises or lowers water.
Lower Water

This causes water or similar liquid to reduce its depth by as much as 2 feet per caster level (to a minimum depth of 1 inch). The water is lowered within a squarish depression whose sides are up to caster level 10 feet long. In extremely large and deep bodies of water, such as a deep ocean, the spell creates a whirlpool that sweeps ships and similar craft downward, putting them at risk and rendering them unable to leave by normal movement for the duration of the spell. When cast on water elementals (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/elemental.htm#waterElemental) and other water-based creatures, this spell acts as a slow (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/slow.htm) spell (Will negates). The spell has no effect on other creatures.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:39 PM
((<-----is not a cleric or wizard.))

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:39 PM
You are, however, the nacho army. the bomb releases a powerful, final blast, spewing flaming plasma and ions and steel shrapnel all over the place.

Ioldanach
2007-01-07, 01:40 PM
Ioldanach, completly unnoticed by the violent stranger, walks up behind him with his special staff of nachos and bonks him on the head.

"Now that you are more settled, (i.e. dazzed), why don't you calm down or I'll bonk you harder and stuff peppers up your nose."

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:42 PM
the staff bounces off the ion shield as the funny little man is blown clear across the room.

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:43 PM
(i think the only way to stop him is throwing a melted cheese web)

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:43 PM
We are the NACHO ARMY. We fight for equality for nacho toppings everywhere. If you have a problem with that, then I suppose you are the Imperialist!

*takes out the fire hose Victor keeps in the back and begins spraying water across the entire front of HQ*

I suppose I may as well get a jump on cleaning up your mess, or Victor will never forgive me!

A blast of super powerful water sprays the whole of the area in front of EmeraldRose, clearing away all the mess.

EDIT: Sorry Ioldanach! Didn't see you come in!!

Ioldanach
2007-01-07, 01:46 PM
"Intereesting that I was thrown across the room, yet still stand in the same place with the strangers body crumpled at my feet. He must be under the effects of a dream spell, look, he wet his pants even. As if his weak blasts could get through my magnificent scoville shield."


EDIT: It's its ok, my shield blocks all things liquid or fluid.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:48 PM
Good to know! I'm glad backup finally arrived!

Ioldanach
2007-01-07, 01:49 PM
Ioldanach grins a vaguely chesiere grin as he fades away again to prepare for the next retaliation...

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:49 PM
(i would like to see the ion shield guy being catapulted...)

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:50 PM
((why don't you help then?))

NPCs 30, 56, 7, 201, 13, and 52 begin stabilizing the structure of the building and enhancing the support system.

EDIT: NPC #3 starts cleaning up the mess.

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:55 PM
Okay, Okay.

I got into the Nacho HQ

*Cast Force Cage in Xerillum*
*Sit down and wait him die for starvation, begging for some Nachos...*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:57 PM
Does this mean you are enlisting?

Xerillum
2007-01-07, 01:57 PM
the NPC stabs himself with a dagger.

danielf
2007-01-07, 01:59 PM
Does this mean you are enlisting?
Why not? :)

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 01:59 PM
Geez, finally! Somebody take that mess out into the street and dump it in the garbage...:smallyuk:

EDIT: K, put some kind of rank in your sig, here's your uniform. Start helping with the clean up would you?

EDIT AGAIN: I've gotta go now...that took forever. Thanks for the help danielf! Welcome to the ARMY. Later Ioldanach, see you in Argess...

Ioldanach
2007-01-07, 02:05 PM
As Ioldanach fades back in momentarily, he holds his hands out and drops off another crate,

" Here's my latest invention, cloak of the nacho, they protect the wearer from all types of nacho messes"

And then he promptly fades back out again.

danielf
2007-01-07, 02:05 PM
Geez, finally! Somebody take that mess out into the street and dump it in the garbage...:smallyuk:

EDIT: K, put some kind of rank in your sig, here's your uniform. Start helping with the clean up would you?

EDIT AGAIN: I've gotta go now...that took forever. Thanks for the help danielf! Welcome to the ARMY. Later Ioldanach, see you in Argess...

No problem, i kept the dead body, maybe we could ask some questions to him later...

What a mess...
Let me see what i can do...
Need to melt this cheese to remake the structure...
FIREBALLLLLLLLLL!
hmmmm melted cheese...

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 03:02 PM
Returns to directing NPCs in repairing the HQ.

Cloak of the Nacho huh? Sounds impressive. Could be a good addition to the uniforms considering all the messes we seem to have here...

That's a lot of cheese...maybe we can use the excess for a new recruiting campaign. I'll get the kitchen going on another batch!

danielf
2007-01-07, 04:01 PM
Yeeeeeh :D

are you going to take a cheese batch?

Who wants some fat free cheese?

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 05:43 PM
A rather large swarm of NPCs with cookie-based weaponry comes into the base and starts melting cheese, and playing "C is for Cookie," while spreading chaos and destruction.

They are with the Cookie Army, not the Cookie Revolution, as marked by their Cookie army clothing.

danielf
2007-01-07, 06:21 PM
A rather large swarm of NPCs with cookie-based weaponry comes into the base and starts melting cheese, and playing "C is for Cookie," while spreading chaos and destruction.

They are with the Cookie Army, not the Cookie Revolution, as marked by their Cookie army clothing.

I might be a rookie in the Nacho Army, but i know what break you cookies. :smallamused:

NPC's, throw the hot milk over the walls !!! :smalleek:
*A sea of hot milk get over your NPC's with cookie-based weaponry army *

*Cast Control Water Milk*

((The sea of hot milk raise as a wall some of the army are throw away, the others are drowning in hot delicious milk.))

You Shall Not Pass!!! :smallyuk:

EmeraldRose
2007-01-07, 06:48 PM
((good spell!))

danielf
2007-01-07, 07:25 PM
(for the rest of the army that doesn't run away i cast:)

*reverse gravity* (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/reverseGravity.htm)

(Now they are floating over 80ft from the ground. Hmmmm floating cookies.)

(And i say:)
- Pray for your cookies gods, because soon you will all meet them.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 07:52 PM
The NPCs scream in agony, but none scream for mercy. They fire their weapons at the Danielf, but are overcome by the milk and other things.

danielf
2007-01-07, 08:27 PM
Hmmmm nice, agony screams... :D

(I get all the bodies, make a pile with then outside the walls and let several notes)


"No Cookies Allowed. Go back while you can." and a smile face :smalltongue:


"'10% discount in Fireball's Damage. Keep it, you will need."


"Free ticket to the Nacho Fun Park. Enter is in the HQ's east trap secret cave."


"If you are reading this, you are too close. Look up, and you will probably see a fireball, sorry" and a sad face :smallfrown:


"Have you pray to your gods today? It's a good time..."


"Look in the other side" and in the other sideis write "Flip it"


"Two fireballs at price of one"


"Have you a Life Insurance? Call now 1-800-Minions-LifeInsurance"

"Explosive Runes"

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 08:32 PM
A gigantic boulder of cookie dough heads towards the HQ. It smashes through the pile of bodies, and the sound of a bowling ball hitting pins is heard by all.

The boulder grows ever closer to the base, and will crash into it in a matter of moments.

((Technically, its not a cookie.:smalltongue: ))

danielf
2007-01-07, 08:46 PM
*I cast repulsion (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/repulsion.htm)*

(get some time to think what i will do...)

(As i wait, i call some Nacho NPC's and tell them to start catapult some Melted Cheese Webs)

(And i cast some Cloudkill (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/cloudkill.htm) 's to eliminate the weak ones and weak the strongers while i'm thinking what evilness i will do with these cookies...)

*Summon Nacho's Army*
http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i221/danielfufrj/nachos.png

(And i said:)
- Go help the Nacho's NPCs.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 08:49 PM
Somehow, the giant ball of cookie dough bounces off the ground, and attempts to smash through the building's ceiling, ignoring Danielf.

The cookie dough boulder thing has Cookie Army written on the side, which Danielf might see as it soars past him.

danielf
2007-01-07, 08:59 PM
*cast sleet storm (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/sleetStorm.htm)where the giant cookie is walking*
*cast grease (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/grease.htm) in the giant cookie"

-Wow, this will be a hell of a fall..."

(if the giant cookie doesn't fall)

*cast Polymorth any object (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/polymorphAnyObject.htm), From Giant Cookie to Giant Nacho* too big... <-- Removed

(if nothing work...)
*cast reverse gravity (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/reverseGravity.htm)*

-Let the giant cookie fly...

(And if nothing work, i will start to think that this giant cookie is an illusion, and if so...)

*cast greater dispel magic (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/dispelMagicGreater.htm)* in it.

(if it's not a illusion I, I..., I...)

*cast Simulacrum (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/simulacrum.htm) on the Giant Cookie*
$$ -1000XP $$

-Go and attack this giant pile of chocolate. Have no sweet mercy.

Edit:V and the other spells? :P

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 09:04 PM
((Actually, was rolling. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. Now, the ice makes it move faster. You took a while to edit in the other spells.))

The cookie speeds up, flies in the air, and stays there for the duration of that spell.

danielf
2007-01-07, 09:31 PM
(Hmmm i see i have no other choice...)
(i will have to... no i shouldn't...)

-ha ha hoa.
(little evil laugh)

(I tell to the Nachos NPC's)
-Release the Giant Zoooooooooombie Cookie.

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i221/danielfufrj/cookie.png
HOA hoa Hoa
HAHAHAOAHOAHOA
HAHAOHOAHAOHAHOAOA
(evil laugh)

-Let now we see how your little cookie will fight against my Undead Zombie Cookie!!!

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 09:37 PM
{{Class Ability=Turn Cookie}}
Rex Idiotarum Shows up.
"Come on crew, there is no need for us to kick'em when their down, now we have bigger Fish-shaped cookies to...um...convect...Hey, they all can't work"

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 09:40 PM
The giant cookie ball is overloaded with magic, and explodes everywhere.

danielf
2007-01-07, 09:40 PM
{{Class Ability=Turn Cookie}}
Rex Idiotarum Shows up.
"Come on crew, there is no need for us to kick'em when their down, now we have bigger Fish-shaped cookies to...um...convect...Hey, they all can't work"

-Who are you talking is down?

*Summon Jumping halfling*

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i221/danielfufrj/bootsss.gif
-Go get him !!!



The giant cookie ball is overloaded with magic, and explodes everywhere.

(get a cup of blood, ops, milk, and starting eating some cookies...)

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-07, 09:43 PM
"You can't expect a spell of such a weak level can out bounce the Pogomasta himself? Since when was there a Cookie Army?"
A hop and he bounces so high he disappears.

Lord Magtok
2007-01-07, 09:51 PM
A mysterious voice arises from nowhere.

I am the nearly non-existent master of gag NPCs. You have angered me, nachos and my gags shall return.

The voice goes and tells Rex about all that happened at the base.

danielf
2007-01-07, 09:52 PM
hmmm we have been attacked 3 times since i join the Nacho Army. And i did that 6 hours ago, so i think there is something happening.... And i'm very worried about that...

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-07, 09:56 PM
{{I think it's time we focus on the guy who blew up the place with the Ion Bomb, the Gag NPCs don't look like a threat, and Rex seems to only come after we attack their base.}}

danielf
2007-01-07, 10:03 PM
The Ion Bomb guy kill himself, i kept the body, if you want to do some speak with dead magic go ahead, here it is...

As the people that just attack us, no attack should be forgiven, this could make us look weak.

Okay, it's done. :)

Toadcape Hazel
2007-01-07, 10:23 PM
I think he was with an organization, but what, it seemed so unexpected.

Lorith
2007-01-08, 07:15 AM
*looks around at the awful mess of cookie crumbs and broken nachos and spilt milk*

OOOOOOOoooooooooooo.........

* blink blink*

I missed all the fun!!!!!! :smallfurious:

*grabs a mop* Well, no use crying over spilt milk.

*starts ordering random NPCs to assist in cleaning up while muttering about how Victor is not going to like this*

EmeraldRose
2007-01-08, 12:30 PM
I think we need to look into improved fortifications for the HQ. If we have to fend off attacks from the Cookie Revolution, this self-named Cookie Army, and random attacks from passers- by, the ones we have will never do.

EmeraldRose re-allocates funding from cheese production to munitions and fortifications, and increases the numbers of NPCs working on rebuilding and fortifying the base to 35.

Lorith
2007-01-08, 12:36 PM
Agreed. One thing that does bother me... one of the NPCs described someone who attacked here earlier, the one using wierd weapons, and he fits the description of someone who attacked the cookie revolution HQ just before I brought them a "peace" offering of Jalapino Poppers (fire seeds) for making such a mess in here. I wonder if this person is just a random encounter or a part of some sort of fake cheese army spy....

Rockphed
2007-01-08, 12:50 PM
Victor comes out of the kitchen with a plate of Cookies. Do we still need these? I know it took forever, but... Victor sees the damage to Nacho Army HQ, and Screams Nooooo! He then grabs a mop and starts trying to fix the walls with it.

EmeraldRose
2007-01-08, 02:23 PM
Sorry about the mess Victor, and no, I don't believe we will be needing the cookies. Keep them on hand though, who knows when stale ones will come in handy?

Sir, I have received some new intelligence indicating the Cookie Revolution was not involved with the recent destruction by the mysterious intruder. I recommend we focus manpower on trying to discover who this new threat is. For the moment, they have done more destruction than the cookies. We should deploy the spies and some of the new recruits about Town to see what they can discover about our new nemesis.

Lorith
2007-01-08, 03:35 PM
*Lorith runs in panting*
Why..... didn't.....someone.....warn....me....Rex....was... .a....LICH?!?!*

*salutes Victor* Sir, the Cookie Revolution HQ is a bit cheesy right now
*starts giggling*

Rex Idiotarum
2007-01-08, 03:38 PM
"All the cool kids were doing it..."

Lord Magtok
2007-01-08, 03:45 PM
A mysterious atomic bomb with legs walks into the HQ.

May I have some nachos?

danielf
2007-01-08, 03:48 PM
(Wow. Radioactive Mutant Nachos should be awesome :D)

Lorith
2007-01-08, 03:49 PM
*quickly scoops up the walking atomic bomb in his portable hole*

No danger of that now.

(where do they get all this techo-stuff in a fantasy world???)

danielf
2007-01-08, 03:51 PM
*quickly scoops up the walking atomic bomb in his portable hole*

No danger of that now.

(where do they get all this techo-stuff in a fantasy world???)
(you should have teleport it to the cookies HQ... :smallfrown: )

Rockphed
2007-01-08, 03:52 PM
He's a lich! So that is why my exorcism didn't work! Or maybe because I am a druid, but I like the Lichness better. And Emerald Rose, do you have any suggestion on finding the bomber's loctation.

Lorith
2007-01-08, 03:56 PM
(you should have teleport it to the cookies HQ... :smallfrown: )

*<< not a spellcaster. I am a Ranger. I know I know, us Elves all look alike.

danielf
2007-01-08, 04:00 PM
He's a lich! So that is why my exorcism didn't work! Or maybe because I am a druid, but I like the Lichness better. And Emerald Rose, do you have any suggestion on finding the bomber's loctation.

Do you know any Bard? they always knows this type of information that no one knows...

Lorith
2007-01-08, 04:14 PM
Soooo.... do any of you spell caster types know how to reverse a Mordikin's Disjuntion that was cast on my precious magic items?:annoyed:

danielf
2007-01-08, 04:24 PM
Soooo.... do any of you spell caster types know how to reverse a Mordikin's Disjuntion that was cast on my precious magic items?:annoyed:
Mages Disjunction (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/magesDisjunction.htm) aka Mordikin's Disjuntion

Don't you have like 100 artifacts?

"Even artifacts are subject to disjunction, though there is only a 1% chance per caster level of actually affecting such powerful items. Additionally, if an artifact is destroyed, you must make a DC 25 Will save (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/combatStatistics.htm#will) or permanently lose all spellcasting abilities. (These abilities cannot be recovered by mortal magic, not even miracle (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/miracle.htm) or wish (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/wish.htm).)
Note: Destroying artifacts is a dangerous business, and it is 95% likely to attract the attention of some powerful being who has an interest in or connection with the device. "

Lord Magtok
2007-01-08, 06:06 PM
Another atomic bomb with legs walks in.

Hey bro, did you get those nachos...Jimmy? Where are ya?

He now looks mildly concerned (for a bomb), and asks Danielf:My brother Jimmy went here to get us some nachos. Have you seen him?

danielf
2007-01-08, 07:54 PM
Another atomic bomb with legs walks in.

Hey bro, did you get those nachos...Jimmy? Where are ya?

He now looks mildly concerned (for a bomb), and asks Danielf:My brother Jimmy went here to get us some nachos. Have you seen him?

Yes, he was here, wait a second, get a bag of holding and throw the atomic bomb inside.

Get the Lorith Portable Hole, make myself a 10feet distance, throw the bag of holding. I lunch, i score!!!

Both the bag of holding and the portable hole are lost forever (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_of_holding) .

"In the physics of Dungeons & Dragons, putting one bag of holding inside another, or into a portable hole (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portable_hole) will result in a rift to be opened to the Astral Plane, and both items will be lost forever."

EmeraldRose
2007-01-08, 08:27 PM
He's a lich! So that is why my exorcism didn't work! Or maybe because I am a druid, but I like the Lichness better. And Emerald Rose, do you have any suggestion on finding the bomber's loctation.
Well, danielf is our secret agent, let's send him out and see what he can scare up in the Town about the stranger and his organization...

celtois
2007-01-08, 09:32 PM
I might consider joining whats in it for me
after waiting for an hour or two wanders out over to the tavern

Xerillum
2007-01-08, 09:59 PM
An archer shoots a flaming oil soaked rag tipped arrow into an open window.

Rockphed
2007-01-08, 11:42 PM
Great, Why do crazy people think that FIRE scares druids. Stupid vandal! Have a FLAME STRIKE why don't you. Rockphed points his finger out the recently shot through window, and a pillar of flame roars down at the archer.