a webcomish thingy

[swordmaster2000]

I have a comic heres the first page next page next week, you get the gist.
http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/6078/vampire10001wb6.jpg
questions, comments, criticizims, complaints, death threats? voice them

[Brickwall]

Well...your drawing skills could use some work. The lines are messy, and characters are indistinguishable from one another except for minute details. Also, it's a bit hard to tell what's going on (I figured it out, though).

Keep working on it.

[swordmaster2000]

I wish I could argue but you are right :smallfrown: and I only realized now that the vampire and the chasing hunters look very much alike with the helmets and the vamp's bandana. hrm... Well thanks for the feedback anyway!:smallsmile:.

[swordmaster2000]

cleaned the first page up a little
first page (http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/3162/vampire10001yy1.jpg)

[Brickwall]

Good. Now you should work on your art. I seriously do not intend any offense, but your art looks like that of a small child. I am guesing that this is because you do not practice much art, and you have had little to no instruction. My advice is to buy books and practice a lot. Even if you don't have much talent (which I personally do not), you will get results much better than that. I recommend "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain", since your art shows many left-brain symptoms.

I'm only trying to channel my art teachers here. I'm not exactly a good artist myself.

[swordmaster2000]

how small of a child are we talkin' here?:smallwink: anyway thanks for the help and I will look into that book. :smallsmile:

[Brickwall]

8-ish, to answer your question. Also, that's one of thousands of useful instruction books. Even copying other drawings will help you get better, so do whatever you can to practice. Also, look into other forms of art/mediums. Getting better at sculpting can help your drawing, believe it or not.

[Caillach]

If you wish to make your work look more profesional write either all in capital letters (use a ruler make them straight), or add the text after putting the image into the computer. Also thicker darker lines for shadow and such help (though I don't know which style you're going for)

[danielf]

it's good, but can get better if you work with the drawing a little more.

wow, i love the Board's avatars, this Pirate Girl is awesome hehehe.

[swordmaster2000]

prepare yourselves mortals for... PAGE TWO (http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/6209/vampire20001bx7.jpg), with more to come...hopefully:smalleek:
EDIT: ugh! now realizing the poor choice of words in the secend to last panel

[Brickwall]

...you write like an 8-year-old too...
So do I, but then again, I make sure to letter with the computer.

Keep working on it. Your sequencing of dialog really stepped off when you separated "sword" from the rest. Instead, try separating the whole prepositional phrase, "in a sword". It sounds MUCH better.

And work on that art. Instruction books are worth it.

[swordmaster2000]

...yes master...:smallamused:

(I don't write like an 8 year old, I write well for my age, or so my teachers have told me. It was just a poor choice of words is all, but I don't feel like arguing, after all my ego couldent be worse now... not all because of you don't worry :))

[Brickwall]

I meant your handwriting. Your storytelling ability is not being questioned here.

I don't have the necessary experience to critique your creative writing ability. However, I can tell that you have bad handwriting. That's what I meant.

[swordmaster2000]

oh... well yes then you are most indefinatly right my handwriting sucks:smallsmile:

[The Orange Zergling]

Pretty much everyone that I've met (myself included) has bad handwriting, so dont feel bad about it.

The comic is intriguing, one bit of advice is to only show the finished version. Like the cleaned up version of the first one, for example. People get turned away when they see the raw product.

[Vaynor]

In the third to last panel you spelled "victorious" wrong. Just letting you know.

But, on that one, the only thing I noticed that I didn't like was the handwriting, big turnoff from your comic if I was thinking about reading it. Definitely use the computer.

[swordmaster2000]

I'll try, but I really need a new editing software the only one I have now is the one that came with the scanner:smallfrown:

[Bryn]

The GIMP (http://www.gimp.org/)
Inkscape (http://www.inkscape.org/)

Those should help. They're both free (and open source!) too.

[swordmaster2000]

ooh thank you! the next post will be much niceer (sp?) with any luck! (:
EDIT: Inkscape has a spiral maker but not an eraser?

[Bryn]

Inkscape is not a bitmap program - an eraser doesn't work. You make shapes, rather than an area of pixels. Therefore, you can delete the shapes you have made, or even edit the nodes to remove specific bits, but an eraser wouldn't work.
This is a good guide to Inkscape, although its specifically for doing OOTS-style art with Inkscape.
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=185496&postcount=99

[swordmaster2000]

I appreciate the words of um... criticism, anyways I think I'm going to take a brake from this, a long brake, as in a year maybye to hone my skills, I'll just pop into Dagobah and tain with master yoda... but I will return once I am better prepared.

[ufo]

Keep finetuning this style, maybe try to give a slight 3D sense. I would love to see how you progress.

[hyikim]

hope to see you actually come back ;)

[swordmaster2000]

Guess who's back baby! No not Eminem ME! YAY! so I took a few months to work on my art and I got a bunch of art books, and some anime stuff and descided to give this another shot. If this one fails too I would not be suprised, but we'll see. so here's page one (http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/1841/webcomic20001nw9.jpg)
EDIT: well that's crappy! I'll make page two better though

[Jack Mann]

Okay, I have very little artistic skill, but I can give you one bit of advice.

Plan ahead.

Seriously, before you draw the comic out, sketch the panel layout. Start with the words you're going to put in. Then figure out about where the word balloons or text boxes should go. After you've gotten that done, sketch the comic (stick figures and the like) before you go any further. Just do a thumbnail version. Change the text if necessary.

Once you have that done, then you draw the comic.

This will make things look a lot better in the long run. Trust me on this.

As well, you'll want to sketch your characters are much as possible in different poses. Study anatomy. Learn where the joints are, and how long or thick each part of the body should be. Your art is a lot better than it was, but it still needs work. Keep trying.

[Brickwall]

You've gotten a lot better. Diversify poses and work some perspective in, and we'll have ourselves a workable art style here.

And I'm going to call you Ed, because that line reminded me of an Ed-related joke. Of course, I'll probably forget about that. But it's still out there.

[Ava]

Honestly... I know a fifth grader whose comics look a lot better. >_<

The biggest things you need to work on is your art and also your lettering. I would recommend sketching out the comic, then scan it into your computer and do the lines and lettering Photoshop. At the very least, do your lettering and word bubbles in Photoshop or a similar program.

However, I do commend you on putting something together. I've been wanting to start a web comic, and I've been trying to work on my art, but I can't seem to even get started by drawing out a little strip... lol.

One thing that you can do to quickly make your comic look more professional is to add gutters between the panels. Instead of just drawing lines between the panels, create even space between them and section them into their own separate rectangles.

[Brickwall]

Honestly... I know a fifth grader whose comics look a lot better. >_<

He's up a year, and it only took him a few months. That's an accomplishment, at least.

What you need to find, my friend, is a good artist who can tell you what to improve. They help.

[swordmaster2000]

Honestly... I know a fifth grader whose comics look a lot better. >_<
really? I'd like to meet this kid. And how I wish I had photoshop! but I don't sadly, so I just have to make due. I will however use that gutter idea, not on the next one as it's almost done.