[Spoilers] Is Parson the Perfect Warlord?

[Mr Wizard]

Is he the perfect warlord?

Now before some one says "Well, the spell is 'Summon Perfect Warlord' and Who was summoned? DUR!" let us consider some evidence (both in the comic and just theory) that he is not.

1. Stanley had a Croakamancer perform a Findamancer spell, thus possibly causing some error.

2. Erfworld *may* be Parson's creation. Even with metagame knowledge, creators are rarely the best at their own games. Unless of course they create a rule "Anyone one named Parson Gotti who owns the web-domain www.hamstard.com (http://www.hamstard.com) is automatically awarded twelve dwagon units. Each Turn."

3. Parson is a self proclaimed armchair general. There is actually an old stereotype of self proclaimed armchair generals. That they are painfully bad at strategy. However, since this is an old stereotype, may not apply here.

So, who could have been the Perfect Warlord?
The only other named real world person. Ashna.
It may be true that she lacks the metagame knowledge that Gotti would have the benefit of, but I already made the point that meta-knowledge does not a master make. She may have been a master at whatever strategies Parson built into the game. Of course, since we know little about her other than her name and her concern for Parson's well being, this is a huge guess.

Now, to take the other side of the fence, and list all the reason's that Parson is the perfect warlord.

1. He was summoned by the "Perfect Warlord" spell. (DUR!) And Wanda said she could manage other magics well enough.

2. He created the Combat System. He knows everything about the game, how the mechanics work, which units are most effective against other units, hero types, and their respective powers and abilities.

3. He created the Magic System. Depending on how the system works, this could mean that he ALREADY KNOWS AND CAN CAST ANY SPELL. Thats a huge advantage if I say so myself. Of course this is also rather overpowering, so the system may need him to gain levels before he can cast higher level spells. Of course, this also raises the question of how Wanda was able to cast a supposedly complicated Findamancer spell.

4. This may be his campaign. So, he may already know the personalities of each of the main characters. He may have built in a little way for Plaid tribe to make a comeback. Not a cheat, mind you, but inside of the lore that would only be revealed under certain circumstances. Think of how Sauron was defeated, by throwing a ring in the fires of Mount Doom. Achilles heels may be built into all the armies, and he with his metaknowledge would know this.

5. PLOT.

That is all I have to say. Please discuss.:smallsmile:

[Doshi]

If Ashna or one of the other players is the perfect warlord, then we may see them again. If Parson wins enough battles, then Anson's Overlord King Slately of Spacerock might decide to hire the Findamancers to cast the Perfect Warlord spell for him, and pay the full 500,000 needed to get a Findamancer caster.

One thing that might make Parson a less than perfect warlord is the moral issue. Parson described the game to his friends as a struggle for survival between all that was decent and noble on the one hand, and all that was vile and unholy on the other. Does Parson think of Stanley's forces as the 'vile and unholy' side? If so, will he want Lord Stanley to win? Perhaps he'll eventually try to overthrow Lord Stanley?

[Mr Wizard]

I'd say Care Bear's golems as pretty vile and unholy.

However you have a good point, he may see Stanley's side as the side that is supposed to lose, because they might have been the chief antagonists in his campaign. and all players were actually on the same side, making Ansom's side the "PC" side, and Parson surrounded by O SO RELIABLE NPC CANNON FODDER. :D

However, for some reason I feel that that statement made by Parson was more sarcastically dramatic. Meant more as a "Prepare to be sucked into a world of high adventure!" than a summary of Erfworld's political climate.

[The_Old_Fox]

Just a quick note, Parson Gotti's name is an anagram for “protagonist”, as several people who are far quicker on the uptake than I have pointed out. These smart people have pointed out that the other "Erfworld" characters have double meanings to their name.

Of course, this doesn't mean he is the "perfect warlord". In my opinion he may be a "perfect warlord". There could have been several "perfect warlords" but cutting corners got them Parson, who may have going for him the fact that he is the game creator. There could have been other strategist (including real ones) and gaming champions, however the situation in which the spell was cast brought them Parson.

Just some thoughts, he could have been 45 out of 50 on the "perfect warlord" list. Or not, I am writing this far to early/late on a weekday.

[Furin_Mirado]

You raise some very interesting questions. In my experience it's the creator that controls the NPCs and bad guys so it fits really well that he would be summoned to lead the bad guy army. I would also like to put forth the theory that Parson can still be a protagonist because he's helping out the underdog. Poor Stanely just wants to collect the arkentools. It's those so-called "good guys" that are attacking and subjugating Stanley's towns and cities.

Well, just a thought anyway. If I was Parson I'd kick some good-guy butt and go find the arkentools for myself, haha.

[Doshi]

Since Wanda is a Crockamancer casting from the Tower of Efdup (Effed Up) we can presume her casting will be flawed in some way. But the flaw might involve the summoning of the perfect warlord, rather than his selection. Parson is a fat human wearing a teeshirt with a picture of a giant fat talking hamster on it. Wanda's miscast spell might cause him to appear in Erf World as a giant fat talking hamster wearing a teeshirt with a picture of Parson on it.

[Mr Wizard]

[quote=The_Old_Fox;1817575]Just a quick not, Parson Gotti's name is an anagram for “protagonist”, as several people who are far quicker on the uptake than I have pointed out. These smart people have pointed out that the other "Erfworld" characters have double meanings to their name.[\quote]

Doh, I forgot to put that as one of the reasons he is.:smallredface:

[Silencer]

3. Parson is a self proclaimed armchair general. There is actually an old stereotype of self proclaimed armchair generals. That they are painfully bad at strategy. However, since this is an old stereotype, may not apply here.

So, who could have been the Perfect Warlord?
The only other named real world person. Ashna.

Meh. The stereotype will be just the beauty of it. You don't think the comic would be comedic enough, if Pars won battles oweing to tctical calculations and not his dumb, main-character luck?

You're just seeking an excuse to see the cutie again.

You're in love with pixel bits :D

(also, that'd be "Warlady" :D And maybe right, she'll be summoned to stop Stanley's forces...)

[TinSoldier]

Parson is not the "perfect" warlord because Stanley decided to get his spell on the cheap and have Wanda cast it. I imagine that Parson will be less effective than the perfect warlord would be, but maybe just effective enough.

[eilandesq]

My take is that--as far as knowledge and strategic ability regarding this particular world--he's going to be as close to a perfect warlord as the spell was ever going to produce. I expect the complications will arise when Parson--who has apparently chosen a life that leaves him mostly isolated except with regard to his gaming group and perhaps his job--is going to find that those masterful plans are a little less easy to carry out when you are using living, breathing people to perform them instead of tokens on a gaming board--particularly if he makes friends with, say, Wanda, Sizemore, or some other character we haven't seen yet and has to order them to likely death.

[mport2004]

But what if it wasn’t Wanda's spell
Also if it is her spell who knows where he will end up

[talonos]

I think the guy's going to have a good run, and then get defeated.

He's a GM. It's the GM's job to put up a good fight, and then lose. My guess is that when he realizes he's in a game, he'll start off being excited, then realize he's on the antagonist's side. He'll start to wonder "Who is playing this game? Do I have a duty to make sure they have a good time?" After that, he'll start doing worse. I'm guessing by the end, he'll eventually let himself be defeated, perhaps killed, thus fulfilling his ultimate duty as a GM.

But he won't go down without a fight. The trick to DMing is making the players think you're giving it your all, but they're just slightly better, no matter what their skill level actually is.

[PirateMonk]

It could be that the entire misfortune of Stanley and his minions is the result of Parson conducting extensive playtesting, only to discover the game is woefully unbalanced. He was about to fix it, but...

This also brings up the issue of whether or not he actually put Summon Perfect Warlord in the game...

[Orkimedes]

I've been thinking about how they pick their Warlords.

They pick the most charismatic, seemingly least compenent person. Now look at Parson. He does not seem to fufill any of these, which may make him the "perfect" Warlord in that respect. Can anyone else see Wanda (I think?) getting yelled at for screwing up the spell, even if he does a fantastic job? :smallsmile:

[Doshi]

Wanda told Stanley that their only hope at this point is to find a military genius, so a genius is what Stanley will be expecting the spell to produce. Anson will begin to advance on the city in one or two more turns, so Parson will be given the opportunity to demonstrate whether or not he's a genius very rapidly.

If Stanley decides that Parson is not a genius, he'll conclude that the city will fall, and try to escape with the Arkin hammer. If Stanley's initial impression of Parson is bad enough, he might flee the city, and then be surprised to learn that Parson has actually suceeded.

[the_tick_rules]

hey i know a few players whoo could be generals in their spare time.