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View Full Version : DM Help Things you REALLY don't want a timetraveller to say



Lakaz
2014-02-22, 06:36 PM
I'm planning on introducing a time-traveller character to the campaign i'm running at the moment, it's kind of a modified Call Of Cthulhu campaign using a semi-homebrewed pantheon instead of the traditional Great Old ones.
I really want this time traveller to mostly be there to REALLY screw with my players, foreshadowing the really nasty plot developments to come, but i don't want ALL the references he makes to the future he's from to be relevant to the plot or they'll catch on, i need to add a few red herrings. Thing is i'm low on ideas for those red herrings
Which begs the question, what's the worst possible thing a man from the future could say to you? All i've got so far is "I messed up. Everybody died" and even that's lifted from elsewhere. Ideas?

TriForce
2014-02-22, 06:46 PM
"OH! so YOU were the one who...... oh nevermind"
"Do NOT take the drink that herbert offers you.... it wont end well"
"wait, arent you supposed to be dead by now?"

Pex
2014-02-22, 06:50 PM
"The time-traveler just stare at you for a while, saying nothing."

Player: "What?"

"The time traveler shakes his head then" (talk to another PC).

Vrock_Summoner
2014-02-22, 06:55 PM
If player character is involved in committed relationship:

"Oh, you dated my ex-fiance! Hm, what was her name..."

Works better on book characters, but PCs still wonder if it pertains to their current relationship or a previous one. And you never have to bring it up again. Leave him/her constantly wondering. Best-case scenario, his/her overanxiety ends up being the cause of the relationship's end later. So much lulz.

"Oh, my god! Hi... Oh wait, you don't know me yet."

"Huh. I thought that trap was supposed to have made you a lot older than this... Oh, don't mind my mumblings."

"You have an uncanny resemblance to a beggar I know... What's your last name?" After this one is responded to, just snicker and change topics.

Ravens_cry
2014-02-22, 06:59 PM
What the bowl of petunias said, in a long suffering tone of voice.

Vauron
2014-02-22, 06:59 PM
"OH! so YOU were the one who...... oh nevermind"
"Do NOT take the drink that herbert offers you.... it wont end well"
"wait, arent you supposed to be dead by now?"

"I'm sorry."*
"Your name shall be cursed forever as the greatest monster humanity ever produced."**
"It was the only way."

*You never want to hear this from people who know what will happen, though it might fit better with precogs than time travellers.
**So many player characters fit this.

Lord Raziere
2014-02-22, 07:05 PM
"I feel sorry for um.....forget I said anything."

"your still alive!?"

"We haven't met yet. I apologize for past me's actions, just y'know, in advance."

"oh so thats what you look like without....erm, nothing."

"huh. didn't know you had that."

He stares at you with what looks like anger then doesn't talk to you.

"did you receive the call? its kind of important..."

comicshorse
2014-02-22, 07:06 PM
"Wow you look different without all the burns "

The Glyphstone
2014-02-22, 07:09 PM
"If I kill you now, will it never have happened?"

Slipperychicken
2014-02-22, 07:26 PM
[nervously, looking at watch] "Heh, wow, is it that time already? Sorry, but I have to get going, right now. Try to enjoy the next few minutes.. err I mean hours for me, okay?"

Socksy
2014-02-22, 07:56 PM
Another one for characters in a relationship: "Grandma! You're so young! And... Who's that?"

What about
* So did you touch that thingy yet?
* To think I'm in the same room as... Wow...
* (If the time traveller has reasonable access to Reincarnation or the like) Did I really look that stupid?...

Traab
2014-02-22, 08:26 PM
"Oops." Alternatively, "Uh oh."

Fabletop
2014-02-22, 08:27 PM
"Whatever happens, if a cop appears, RUN".

"I'm pretty sure the world ends in about four minutes."

"Right: none of you live to see tomorrow, unless you do exactly what I say".

"In three days, the Earth will be destroyed, unless one of you dies."

Sith_Happens
2014-02-22, 08:45 PM
"Don't blink."

"Count the shadows."

Darkpaladin109
2014-02-22, 08:52 PM
"If you hear or see a badger, run."

"Have they ambushed you already?"

""Oh god, oh god, IT'S YOU!"

"Whatever you do, don't pull any levers."

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-22, 08:53 PM
"Don't blink."

"Count the shadows."

"Rose Tyler, I--"

Silverbit
2014-02-22, 08:55 PM
(On first meeting) "I want it back! You've had it far too lon-oh. Wrong era."

"The city of X? Don't you mean the X crater?"

Deophaun
2014-02-22, 08:58 PM
Spoken to another NPC while looking at you: "Don't you think he/she looks tired?"

Brother Oni
2014-02-22, 09:04 PM
"Here we go again... wait, you haven't does this yet, have you?" *Sighs*

Deophaun
2014-02-22, 09:06 PM
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

NichG
2014-02-22, 09:13 PM
"If I don't tell you what happened, that means it can still be changed, right? Man, I wish I paid more attention during Temporal Mechanics."

Mastikator
2014-02-22, 09:15 PM
"I'm so sorry, but I have to change the past. I can't let you live"

RochtheCrusher
2014-02-22, 09:31 PM
"Okay, seriously. I'm going to need you to do EXACTLY as I say. The last six versions of you thought they were SO smart, and look where that got them. I don't have enough temporal flux to try this again, so this is your last chance."

Then, he tells them to do something completely brain dead. Like, "Charge the main gates at noon. By yourselves. Without your armor. Trust me."

SimonMoon6
2014-02-22, 09:59 PM
I once had a time traveler show up and start taking a lot of pictures of things (because they didn't exist in the future because they were about to be destroyed).

Jordan Cat
2014-02-22, 10:12 PM
I cant believe no one said this one yet.

"Come with me if you want to live"

Slipperychicken
2014-02-22, 10:28 PM
I cant believe no one said this one yet.

"Come with me if you want to live"

It's not all that bad: at least he's (apparently) trying to help you survive. And also, if time travelers are using Terminator references, that just makes things better :smallbiggrin:

Lord Raziere
2014-02-22, 10:31 PM
"Sigh....I missed the color green...."

GPuzzle
2014-02-22, 10:47 PM
"I really did look like Ron Weasley dressed up like Benito Mussolini after all, isn't it?"

Hiro Protagonest
2014-02-22, 10:49 PM
"I really did look like Ron Weasley dressed up like Benito Mussolini after all, isn't it?"

...Such grammar. So confusing.

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-22, 11:03 PM
...Such grammar. So confusing.
It's a time traveler. They're bound to get their tenses mixed up.

Qwertystop
2014-02-22, 11:04 PM
"Ooooh. So that's what that button does."

GPuzzle
2014-02-22, 11:06 PM
...Such grammar. So confusing.

Combine Recursive Translation with the fact that it's a time traveler, the tenses make sense.

Pex
2014-02-23, 12:10 AM
"Don't blink."

"Count the shadows."

Grr!

Tee Hee

Living_Dead_Guy
2014-02-23, 12:16 AM
"Don't blink."

"Count the shadows."

Angels are definitely creepy. Anywho here are some more.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

There’s something you’d better understand about me ‘cause it’s important, and one day your life may depend on it: I am definitely a mad man.”

“Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan!”

“There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.”

'You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine, but you really think they're lying to make you feel better?'
'Well, everything's going to be fine.”

“ Biting's excellent. It's like kissing - only there is a winner. Remember that it'll save your life. ”

You should always waste time when you don't have any.

“Now... Just run.'

“I don't know. I can't tell the future I just work there.”

Thank you. I think you just saved my life.
Response: Believe me... It was an accident.”

“I sat with my feet up on my desk and started to make a mental list of the people who’d want you dead. Once I got to fifty, I decided this wasn’t helping.”

Here is another quote from Doctor Who, though it wasn't said by a time traveler, it fits with building suspense and horror really well, I would suggest watching it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRqvB4JA1II)

"The Beast" creeps up behind one of the characters and says. "I'm behind you, Toby, I'm right behind you. Don't look, don't look at me. One look and you will die. I'm reaching out, Toby, I'm so close don't turn around. Oh, I can touch you…"

AttilaTheGeek
2014-02-23, 12:57 AM
"Oh- oh my gods. It's..." (chokes up) "It's you!" (suddenly embraces character in a hug) "I can't believe you're okay! I come all this way to find you and you're just here! Alive! And in one piece! I- I haven't seen you in so long. I almost couldn't take it after you--" (suddenly realizes what they were about to say) "Oh. Right. You... you don't know." (long pause) "I'm not allowed to tell you, am I?"

Why go for fear when you can go for emotion instead?

squiggit
2014-02-23, 01:10 AM
Time traveler looks between two PCs "I had no idea that the two of you were friends before he... well, you know. Or you will"


Time traveler looks at one PC and goes wide eyed "No. It's him! It can't be." Addressing the rest of the party: "You have to kill him. NOW. NOW. Before it's too late!"

^ Bonus points if it's the goodliest PC that he freaks out about.

Vrock_Summoner
2014-02-23, 02:06 AM
Pretty sure this is supposed to be a list of red herrings and fake worries. Most of you guys are posting things that are literally guaranteed to have significant plot relevance. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Also, one that actually happened in a game of mine that made me cry internally, as my character had succumbed to taking the evil but easy way out of a fight and was about to sacrifice the souls of some Commoners to an eternal hell in exchange for a quick kill against the BBEG, but another PC (also a time traveler) managed to stop him and convince him that he couldn't just make a freebie of the situation and the stain would forever be on my soul. Later, I was complaining that I could have made up for that Evil act because I wasn't really Evil, I had just been desperate at the time. Cue us coming across another time traveler, who addressed me with shock.

"What? Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of the continent by now? But then, who is going to re-found Ravenloft..."

Kane0
2014-02-23, 02:41 AM
"Don't ever shake anyone's hand..."

"If someone calls you by your last name, run. And don't look back."

TheOOB
2014-02-23, 03:49 AM
"You look so much better with all your limbs"

Deophaun
2014-02-23, 04:50 AM
"Oh! A lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!"

comicshorse
2014-02-23, 06:29 AM
" So has The Horror started yet ?"

" Which of your marriages are you on ?"

" Hey where are the sextuplets ?"

Mrc.
2014-02-23, 10:46 AM
"Wow! I've never seen you before when you were still a man/woman!"

Lakaz
2014-02-23, 11:10 AM
Pretty sure this is supposed to be a list of red herrings and fake worries. Most of you guys are posting things that are literally guaranteed to have significant plot relevance. Just wanted to throw that out there.
That is true, but most of these are pretty funny. Loved the one about the colour green.

Another one i lifted off elsewhere:
*Kisses character in a committed relationship* *Pause* "Wait, hold on, what month is it?"
And my own:
"Ah! Oh my god it's you guys! You're all heroes in my time! Except... wait, hold on" *Looks at random PC* "Who're you exactly?"

Honest Tiefling
2014-02-23, 01:16 PM
Hey, if its call of Cthulhu, it could be a time travelling horror that waves its tentacles at the players. And then calls one of them 'Mommy'.

Bonus points if the character is a dude.

Lord Raziere
2014-02-23, 01:25 PM
Pretty sure this is supposed to be a list of red herrings and fake worries. Most of you guys are posting things that are literally guaranteed to have significant plot relevance. Just wanted to throw that out there.


I find this funny, because you seemed to have completely forgotten the possibility that the person might not be coming from the right future, and therefore might be completely wrong about what happens in the past.

if you really want to screw with your players heads? have TWO time-travelers from two different futures come back and argue over how to change the future. which can you trust? can you trust EITHER of them?

Mrc.
2014-02-23, 01:39 PM
I find this funny, because you seemed to have completely forgotten the possibility that the person might not be coming from the right future, and therefore might be completely wrong about what happens in the past.

if you really want to screw with your players heads? have TWO time-travelers from two different futures come back and argue over how to change the future. which can you trust? can you trust EITHER of them?

You clearly have a less-paranoid group than mine. In this situation they would just kill both. And then everyone around to ensure that no-one else found out about this time travel. Note that this is regardless of system; if I ran a Dr. Who rpg they would react in exactly the same way. Maybe more-so...:smallfrown:

Acrux
2014-02-24, 03:35 AM
To do this well, you want to aim for ambiguity. The difficulty with an RPG is that the PCs will generally assume anything mentioned will directly involve them somehow.

"Remember, you can't put too much water in a nuclear reactor."

"When you see <the evil monster> about to reach the <macguffin>, you've got to be sure and destroy it."

There's a famous Latin phrase "Ibis redibis nunquam per bella peribis" that can be rendered in two ways based on where the comma is placed: you will will go, you will return, you will never perish in war or you will go, you will go, you will never return, you will perish in war.

Rosstin
2014-02-24, 03:46 AM
"Wow you look different without all the burns "


"Ah! Oh my god it's you guys! You're all heroes in my time! Except... wait, hold on" *Looks at random PC* "Who're you exactly?"

I like these! XD

Svata
2014-02-24, 04:48 AM
In a modern campaign, "Your kids, Marty! Its your kids!" *pause* "Sorry, couldn't help myself. But seriously, if you don't do EXACTLY as I say, your future children will die before their second birthday."

In any campaign, "Wow, this place was so much nicer before..." and as he trails off, he glares at one of the PCs.

Lord Torath
2014-02-24, 09:13 AM
After one of the PC's does something really mundane (buys a mug of ale, opens a door for someone else, walks past a shop without entering, you get the idea):
"Whew! Crisis averted!" Or, you, know "Uh guys, I think we have a problem. <PC> just <did/didn't do x>. Oh wait, what day is it? Never mind"

Defiled Cross
2014-02-24, 09:16 AM
"Don't forget to set your watch!"

:smallbiggrin:

Brookshw
2014-02-24, 09:24 AM
Daddy!

Enjoy free air while you can.

Lord Raziere
2014-02-24, 10:24 AM
You clearly have a less-paranoid group than mine. In this situation they would just kill both. And then everyone around to ensure that no-one else found out about this time travel. Note that this is regardless of system; if I ran a Dr. Who rpg they would react in exactly the same way. Maybe more-so...:smallfrown:

Oh.

:smallmad:

Player Paranoia. Bane of all good storytelling everywhere.

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-24, 10:53 AM
After one of the PC's does something really mundane (buys a mug of ale, opens a door for someone else, walks past a shop without entering, you get the idea):
"Whew! Crisis averted!" Or, you, know "Uh guys, I think we have a problem. <PC> just <did/didn't do x>. Oh wait, what day is it? Never mind"
Bahahahaha. "Butterfly Paranoia"!

Mrc.
2014-02-24, 10:53 AM
Oh.

:smallmad:

Player Paranoia. Bane of all good storytelling everywhere.

Tell me about it! I will accept some responsibility for this; on occasion I have been known to royally screw them over, but usually this is entirely justifiable (they ignore a major villain for months, try and bribe someone they owe money to etc.). However, none of this is in line with the sort of 'literally everyone is trying to kill us' mentality that seems ingrained.

Back on topic:

"If it can bleed, we can kill.... Oops, wrong film!"

"Remember back when regular dragons still existed? Good times! Hate these new-fangled cyber-dragons!"

Segev
2014-02-24, 11:03 AM
"Huh. I thought it was Gilderoy Lockhardt that did that..."

The_Werebear
2014-02-24, 11:32 AM
*Time Traveler sees a cat and immediately begins bowing and scraping*

"Ah, my Lord, I didn't not notice your presence. Please forgive my trans...Oh wait... It's only [insert date]"

*boots cat*

"Take that you furry &@$%*!^, This is for the boys who died in [subject hometown here]!"

Lakaz
2014-02-24, 12:46 PM
"QUICK! How many children do you have? None? Oh, good. That's fine, don't worry about it"

*After killing a random mook*
"Hey, don't i recognise him from somewhere...?"

Adlan
2014-02-24, 12:55 PM
Have the traveller start off perfectly predicting things. Random events, who will win a sports race or what song will come on the radio.

Then have them start to do it wrong a few times, Genre Savvy Players will recognise that this is caused by their presence altering the time stream.

Then have them get accurate again once they've noted the inaccuracy.

Then have them predict bad things, warn them, help them ect.

Then have the traveller suddenly on the next thing not remember anything that's supposed to happen. Everything is wrong. The traveller freaks out, your players freak out.


And then he's back to perfectly predicting things. The future is being rewritten into his memory due to timey wimeyness.


Or, short one liners:

"I expected you to be taller"

"You wrote/will write a wonderful book… tell me, what's the ending, it breaks everyone's hearts that we never find out?"

"Can you sign this for me" Ask everyone, but the biggest ego in the group, who signed so much stuff his signature is worthless in the future, and actually makes signed items valueless, as it's too often faked.

"I'm married to your grandaughter, that's why they sent me back"

"I am your grandaughter"

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-24, 01:02 PM
*Time Traveler sees a cat and immediately begins bowing and scraping*

"Ah, my Lord, I didn't not notice your presence. Please forgive my trans...Oh wait... It's only [insert date]"

*boots cat*

"Take that you furry &@$%*!^, This is for the boys who died in [subject hometown here]!"
:smallbiggrin:

I'm gonna have to remember this one.

erikun
2014-02-24, 01:22 PM
"This again? At least it'll be over soon."

Segev
2014-02-24, 02:22 PM
"I don't want to go."

(Un)Inspired
2014-02-24, 02:53 PM
"Oh thank god I found you. I'm you! From the future! What ever you do, don't get that piercing you're thinking about getting! It gets infected."

jindra34
2014-02-24, 02:55 PM
"I'm Late" is always good for a panic. Doubly so if its shortly after arrival.

Mrc.
2014-02-24, 03:06 PM
"Thank goodness I found you! Listen, there's an extremely elaborate series of events that lead to you eventually destroying most of the world, but don't worry because I wrote down what happens and how to prevent it on my phone. Where's the nearest plug socket, I'm out of charge? You know, a socket in the wall to plug things in. Charges them. Oh....."

RochtheCrusher
2014-02-24, 06:41 PM
"So... they sent me back to help you stop the massacre at Highever... but I'm almost certain that if I actually manage it the universe will implode, due to temporal paradoxes. I really volunteered to stop THAT, because they wouldn't believe the math.

"Just... just don't go, alright? It... it doesn't work out. Your sacrifices don't even make a difference. Just stay here and let me buy you a beer or something... try not to think about it."

Bonus points if the party has a Paladin.

veti
2014-02-24, 07:24 PM
"You... bastard."

"You totally deserve this."

"Damn. Apparently the laws of time travel won't let me meet anyone who might affect the past, so no matter how I set the co-ordinates, I only ever run into complete nonentities. So, who are you and what do you do?"

ReaderAt2046
2014-02-24, 09:41 PM
*Time traveler approaches male party member wielding absurdly large pair of pruning shears*

:smallfurious:"I warned you! But noo... you just won't be able to wait until you marry her properly! So now my daughter's going to have to attend her own wedding six months pregnant! Well I'll have warned you just what I'd do if you did that, so you can't say I wasn't fair. Now hold still, this will hurt like nothing you can imagine, but it won't kill you unless you squirm."

ComatosePhoenix
2014-02-24, 10:35 PM
"you know, I never really expected you to have hair"

"it looks like they haven't grown in yet"

"I recommend practicing more with your left hand"

and My favorite:
TT: "I am from the future, I bring gifts to you and your lovely wife Sandra"

Wife: "um, my name is Elizabeth?"

TT: "really? are you sure, the package cle- oh, Sorry. Forget I said that..."

*Runs back to the time machine*

Cuaqchi
2014-02-24, 10:55 PM
They say nothing but after a long pause pull out a notebook and start scribbling away feverishly. Even better if stuff is crossed out.

(Un)Inspired
2014-02-24, 11:11 PM
"Oh thank god I've gotten here in time. Whatever you do, don't wake up Cthulhu!"

"Are you Roland Orcbane? Excellent. Your party are witnesses. You've just been chrono-served. Here are 46 paternity suits against you. "

Sith_Happens
2014-02-24, 11:26 PM
"Are you Roland Orcbane? Excellent. Your party are witnesses. You've just been chrono-served. Here are 46 paternity suits against you. "

/thread_fillertext

TeChameleon
2014-02-24, 11:47 PM
For a single time traveller, just have them take one look at a party member, then go fetal and start screaming. Have the screaming continue until they fade back into the timestream.

But if you want to have all kinds of fun, have two time travellers, or better yet, two (or more) factions.

Simple, easy example- every time your plot-important traveller is about to make an appearance, have two groups of brawling time travellers turn up shortly before, one group screaming something to the effect of 'in the name of planet-savior [party member], kill the defiler! Death to [other party member]!', while the other one is ranting either something similar but with different party members.

Bonus points if both groups are clearly the same people, just alternate versions of them from different time streams. Further bonus points if your plot-important time traveller is also an alternate of one of the group members :smalltongue:

Jay R
2014-02-25, 12:19 AM
1. "Wait - is that you? My machine must be out of alignment. I was supposed to arrive in March."

2. "Five ... four ... three ... two ... one ...."

3. "I'll be back (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgPePk3kGZk)."

4. "Oh, don't mind me. I'll be here for a couple of years to record the election of President Kardashian."


Combine Recursive Translation with the fact that it's a time traveler, the tenses make sense.

Well, except for the Future Perfect. Time travelers know it isn't.

ORione
2014-02-25, 12:37 PM
"I have to save <random innocent bystander X> or everything is doomed!"
Shortly thereafter, X is found dead.

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-25, 02:26 PM
I rather like the "pair of rival time travelers" idea. Extra points if they don't meet up. Instead, when each one meets the party, their sentences and questions shift, because the other time traveler is rewriting their past.

geeky_monkey
2014-02-25, 02:48 PM
"Ah! Oh my god it's you guys! You're all heroes in my time! Except... wait, hold on" *Looks at random PC* "Who're you exactly?"

Especially if you follow it up with "where's Bob? You know - Bob? The tactical genius who whips you bunch of clueless losers into the legendary heroes you need to be?".

jindra34
2014-02-25, 03:06 PM
I rather like the "pair of rival time travelers" idea. Extra points if they don't meet up. Instead, when each one meets the party, their sentences and questions shift, because the other time traveler is rewriting their past.

Or have one time traveller, who is acting as a quest giver. But after each quest, leaves and then re-enters. And restarts back at introductions. Coupled with each one describing a progressively worse future.
(Essentially each one is a new one from a worse future, going back to fix things. And then leaving and heading back home when they have fixed it)

Magesmiley
2014-02-25, 03:18 PM
"Are you sure that you want to do that?"

<Looking at a newspaper> "Wait, he wasn't supposed to die until next year."

"Where's the nearest lottery seller?" OR "Where's the nearest racetrack?"

<If the PCs go through his belongings> Have a program to a local racetrack, with a number of races checked. It's what he bet on on a previous time trip, and not the actual winners.

Have him bring an umbrella on a bright, shiny day.

Have him constantly checking his watch. Better yet, make it a digital watch that periodically goes off with an alarm.

"Where did my XYZ go? I need to find it! Leaving it here could cause a paradox and rip apart the time/space continuum."

NotScaryBats
2014-02-25, 03:32 PM
"Damn. Apparently the laws of time travel won't let me meet anyone who might affect the past, so no matter how I set the co-ordinates, I only ever run into complete nonentities. So, who are you and what do you do?"

I really like this one.

Hiro Protagonest
2014-02-25, 04:52 PM
*sigh* Some of these work as what the OP wanted, but a lot are completely missing the point. Like that nonentities one.

imaloony
2014-02-25, 06:00 PM
He didn't say anything, he just laughed himself into a coma.

Seriously though, "Don't trust _________" is always a good one, especially if the inserted person is an ally and seems totally trustworthy and ESPECIALLY if he constantly helps the party.

Vindcara
2014-02-25, 07:53 PM
* (If the time traveller has reasonable access to Reincarnation or the like) Did I really look that stupid?...
even better have the guy actually later gain time travel spells and have the time space continuum start tearing apart cuz he hasnt gone back and did what the future version of himself from the past did yet

"you know buildingX? yeah thats where the thing is"

also its not what you want but:
have the time traveler show up and go "quick!" then another who says "wait!" and just have an infinitely increasing amount of them show up one after the other until somehow the first one gets killed and they all disapear

NichG
2014-02-25, 09:26 PM
"Hold on to this for me, I'm going to need it later."

dps
2014-02-25, 09:55 PM
Combine Recursive Translation with the fact that it's a time traveler, the tenses make sense.

The tenses aren't the problem. The pronouns are the problem.

Taet
2014-02-25, 10:01 PM
I was promised the best bride from all of time. And it is YOU! Come with me my love. :smallamused:

I traveled one hundred years into the future. Where are the flying cars? I was sure there were going to be flying cars by Two hundred years in the future. Wait it is This year? Oh. Oh no. But the math for this trip was perfect. So where is the dropped minus sign? :smalleek:

You can get cow meat in regular shops? Honest? This is amazing! Take me there right now. I have to try this! :smallbiggrin:

Pex
2014-02-25, 10:11 PM
"Hi. I'm Captain A. H. from the United States of Europe Time Corp, German Division. I was just sent from 1933. We got your message that 2014 has a history hiccup that needs correcting. What do you need to know?"

Lord Raziere
2014-02-25, 11:45 PM
"Hi. I'm Captain A. H. from the United States of Europe Time Corp, German Division. I was just sent from 1933. We got your message that 2014 has a history hiccup that needs correcting. What do you need to know?"

*narrows eyes* what does the A and H stand for in your name? *readies gun in case of ADOLF HITLER*

Slipperychicken
2014-02-25, 11:57 PM
"Hi Hail. I'm Captain A. H. from the United States of Europe Time Corp, German Division. I was just sent from 1933. We got your message that 2014 has a history hiccup that needs correcting. What do you need to know?"

So basically this (http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3266#comic)?

Blightedmarsh
2014-02-26, 12:18 AM
WOW; the moon looks so different. Its almost pretty. Easy to forget the fact that...ah; sorry I said too much.

So THATS what trees were like. Funny; I kind of imagined them differently.

You know your kind of hot without the tentacles.

What was this country called again? An...murica?

You know if could take some of this beer stuff back home with me I'd make a fortune.

What do you mean? murder is illegal in this era? WTF?

The clown must die. Viva la revolution!

Taet
2014-02-26, 12:52 AM
You know if could take some of this beer stuff back home with me I'd make a fortune.

:smalleek:
:eek:
And give him a British voice. And American beer.

Deophaun
2014-02-26, 01:02 AM
"I am forbidden from doing anything that will interfere with the timeline, which means I can still kill all of you."

NichG
2014-02-26, 01:09 AM
"Timescout to T-minus-zero: confirming that the locals in this era are pushovers, you're go to send the first wave."

Also:

"So you say you've never heard of my people in your time? Excell... I mean, that's a shame, we have so much to teach you."

Sith_Happens
2014-02-26, 01:13 AM
You know if could take some of this beer stuff back home with me I'd make a fortune.

Seeing as the OP's game is pseudo-CoC, I vote for this one. Nothing says "cosmic horror" quite like the possibility of a future without beer.

mig el pig
2014-02-26, 05:02 AM
-Now I remember you, you tasted like chicken.

TuggyNE
2014-02-26, 07:28 AM
"I am forbidden from doing anything that will interfere with the timeline, which means I can still kill all of you."

If you can make this more subtle but still chilling it would work great.

Segev
2014-02-26, 09:30 AM
If you can make this more subtle but still chilling it would work great.

"His life is on the line, and you've got all those laws you have to follow! You're just going to flip a coin?"

"I'm only forbidden from doing anything to alter the timeline."

Lord Raziere
2014-02-26, 10:12 AM
Seeing as the OP's game is pseudo-CoC, I vote for this one. Nothing says "cosmic horror" quite like the possibility of a future without beer.

I dunno, sounds utopian to me.

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-26, 10:48 AM
Seeing as the OP's game is pseudo-CoC, I vote for this one. Nothing says "cosmic horror" quite like the possibility of a future without beer.
*shudder*

-Now I remember you, you tasted like chicken.
Okay, this one is really nicely-creepy, actually.

Jay R
2014-02-26, 12:08 PM
"I came here to prevent the coming bio-catastrophe, if I'm in time. All we need is a quagga herd, a flock of passenger pigeons, a clutch of dodo eggs, and a mating pair of Caspian Tigers."

Necroticplague
2014-02-26, 12:52 PM
*looks up and down at character*
"I guess the phalloplasty/mastoplexy really is going to have gone well."

YossarianLives
2014-02-26, 01:16 PM
How about...

Could i have your autograph i'm your biggest fan!

or Wow your new cybernetic arms look great i can't even notice the difference.

(Un)Inspired
2014-02-26, 02:31 PM
"Out of my way! Out of my way! I need to use the bathroom. It's an emergency!"

Pex
2014-02-26, 02:34 PM
Please tell me which of the following have happened according to your history:

You know what "disco" means.
There was an Olympics in Los Angeles in 1984
When I say "Mussels from Brussels" you are not thinking of seafood from Belgium.
Coca Cola tried a new formula that was quite unsuccessful
The name Kardashian is well known.

. . .


"Uh oh"

Segev
2014-02-26, 03:01 PM
"Hah! And the time agency said we couldn't escape from a doomed future into a non-doomed past!"

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-02-26, 03:04 PM
He didn't say anything, he just laughed himself into a coma.

Honestly, this one works incredibly well with a Lovecraftian setting.

Segev
2014-02-26, 04:47 PM
"Your Majesty!" says the time traveler, bowing to your poverty-stricken gumshoe PC, "I'm back, and I erased the terrible crime your grandfather committed that prolonged Prohibition, just as your ordered!"

Sith_Happens
2014-02-26, 04:49 PM
I dunno, sounds utopian to me.

Hush, I'm trying to exploit an easy joke opportunity.:smallwink::smalltongue:

Delwugor
2014-02-27, 05:24 PM
*snorts* "You're the Cause?"

Instead of a Doctor Who quote I leave you with the classic time-travel quote "...this wrong tool. Never use this.".

Iana Obsidian
2014-03-01, 05:23 AM
"I don't remember this happening"

"I'm so sorry for whats about to happen"

"Not you.... Whatever you do (looks at clock).... its too late" (either runs away or goes into fetal position)

"It would be so much kinder just to kill you (giggles) but this is going to be one lovely doomsday and I wouldn't want to change a thing"

"(points gun to PC) I'm doing the world a favour"

Blightedmarsh
2014-03-01, 08:36 AM
We must kill the being known as the Elvis Presley before it pupates.

Slipperychicken
2014-03-01, 11:25 PM
"Ph'nglui mglw- oops... I mean, uh, good morning"

[after waking up] "Wow, the dreams are way nicer in this century.. You guys are so lucky!"

"Just curious, what do you think of inter-species marriage? What about pedophilic marriage?"

[Looks at a woman in a miniskirt] "Sheesh, and people in your time thought *that* was revealing? Just wait till they start- hang on, you'll probably be dead by then. Nevermind."

Lakaz
2014-03-02, 06:10 AM
*Right after appearing* "Okay, five hundred twenty eighth time's the charm!"

"Hold up, you keep CATS as PETS? Wow, you guys are messed up."

"You know what's weird? I haven't seen ONE guy get brutally murdered today! Are you SURE this is *Insert country here*?"

Blightedmarsh
2014-03-02, 06:21 AM
I'm booooord drooge. Wanna hit up a girls school or something for a bit of the old ultra violence?

I wanna visit new york whilst I still can.

Yellowstone? Thats not a volcano.

The sooner you people get round to discovering philosgen the better really.

You really should stop drinking milk; you have no idea of what its doing to your health.

Sith_Happens
2014-03-02, 09:46 AM
[after waking up] "Wow, the dreams are way nicer in this century.. You guys are so lucky!"

I cannot think of a single line more perfect for Call of Cthulhu than this one.

Deophaun
2014-03-02, 08:57 PM
"Thank the Meyer, Canada still exists. That means Team Edward hasn't won yet!"

Mutazoia
2014-03-03, 10:12 AM
(to a male character) "Grandma! You haven't changed a bit...yet."

"be sure to ask them if the sponge is WET."

(talking into a small device) "I've found subject zero..." (to character) "Excuse me...I'm just going to need a DNA sample..."

"huh...I thought you were a soprano...(checks watch) Oh that's next week."

CarpeGuitarrem
2014-03-03, 10:28 AM
[after waking up] "Wow, the dreams are way nicer in this century.. You guys are so lucky!"

Totally seconding this one.

Socksy
2014-03-04, 09:28 AM
Make him get into an argument with his future self using scrolls of Sending, then later sigh and start arguing with his past self for no other reason than he just did it.

Blightedmarsh
2014-03-04, 10:46 AM
so whens the baby due?
A very merry solstice to you and your squidlings
Stay safe; stay sane...

Draz74
2014-03-11, 11:45 PM
"Whatever you do, DON'T EAT A SANDWICH. EVER!"

"OK, get in your car and start the engine ... I have to be there to see what happens when the President walks under a ladder tomorrow."

"It's too bad you guys don't know about the planetary convergence ... no, not those planets; nothing happens when Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune line up. The interesting stuff is the forbidden planets."

Segev
2014-03-12, 10:36 AM
"Wait, you mean Revenge of the Sith came out last decade? It's not a thinly veiled commentary on--er, never mind."

dps
2014-03-13, 12:17 AM
Gee, this used to be a nice place before--uhm, never mind.

Altair_the_Vexed
2014-03-13, 05:00 AM
"You are your father."

EDIT: Now I'm thinking about a Dr Who / Star Wars cross-over in which Luke is Vader!

Thomas Hunter
2014-03-13, 07:01 AM
"You are your father."

EDIT: Now I'm thinking about a Dr Who / Star Wars cross-over in which Luke is Vader!

Holy crap, the Dagobah cave just got THAT much more terrifying.

Two time travelers show up at the same time. The non-plot-central one attempts to kill a PC, the other protects him, and after winning, says "You know you aren't allowed to screw with major historical characters! Yes, even if they're [insert PC last name]!" Bonus points if any of the players have read wikihistory.

Jay R
2014-03-13, 10:43 AM
"You still have both hands and both eyes? Oh, good - I got here in time to watch it."

Deophaun
2014-03-13, 11:07 AM
"Give him the keys. Save the girl."

"Good, I made it in time for the Bee Gees revival!"

Segev
2014-03-13, 12:51 PM
"Oh, man, the 2014 World Series? I LOVE watching 9th-inning come-from-behind victories!"

Jakodee
2014-03-13, 04:16 PM
Have a huge explosion centered around a tall haunt man in a futuristic suit who slowly walks up to a PC. Then he starts laughing hysterically and leaves.

Jakodee
2014-03-13, 04:17 PM
"Wait a second... Why are you a guy?

Codex
2014-03-13, 04:57 PM
"So that's what you look like without tentacles!"

"You look just like your picture in the family album."

"Oh no! A Temporal Pair-o-Socks!"

Mrc.
2014-03-13, 05:02 PM
"Get down Mr. President!"